1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:03,367
There's this misconception
that the CIA
2
00:00:03,464 --> 00:00:05,766
is only about
thwarting terrorism.
3
00:00:05,850 --> 00:00:08,301
Truth is, we're just like
any other office.
4
00:00:08,386 --> 00:00:10,454
Come on. You can do this.
5
00:00:13,057 --> 00:00:14,741
- Boo!
- You suck, Jackson!
6
00:00:17,395 --> 00:00:20,597
It says
"No touchy."
7
00:00:20,648 --> 00:00:23,266
Yep, just your average,
everyday office.
8
00:00:23,317 --> 00:00:25,485
No espionage around here.
9
00:00:25,570 --> 00:00:27,587
Especially with
this little trick.
10
00:00:27,655 --> 00:00:30,240
No! not my privacy strips.
11
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:32,242
Please come back.
12
00:00:35,337 --> 00:00:39,337
♪ American Dad 6x18 ♪
Flirting with Disaster
Original Air Date on May 15, 2011
13
00:00:39,362 --> 00:00:43,362
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
14
00:01:07,028 --> 00:01:08,745
Kind of fun when your
car's in the shop
15
00:01:08,813 --> 00:01:10,163
and I get to
drive you to work.
16
00:01:10,248 --> 00:01:12,499
Makes me feel like
we're partner cops.
17
00:01:12,583 --> 00:01:14,034
Let's roll,
18
00:01:14,118 --> 00:01:15,585
there's a 10-2
over on eight,
19
00:01:15,653 --> 00:01:16,787
with a couple
of perps.
20
00:01:18,289 --> 00:01:20,874
Hey, why don't I come by
and pick you up for lunch?
21
00:01:20,958 --> 00:01:23,009
Oh, babe, you know
I'd love to spend
22
00:01:23,094 --> 00:01:24,511
every minute
of every day with you,
23
00:01:24,595 --> 00:01:27,581
but I am too swamped
to go off-campus today.
24
00:01:27,648 --> 00:01:30,417
He really means it.
He'd spend every minute
25
00:01:30,485 --> 00:01:32,886
of every day with me
if he could.
26
00:01:32,970 --> 00:01:35,355
Security gate.
Oh, God!
27
00:01:36,841 --> 00:01:38,759
This is good. Kiss.
Kiss.
28
00:01:41,479 --> 00:01:43,914
Whew! We almost had
two cars in the shop.
29
00:01:46,184 --> 00:01:47,467
Morning, Stan.
30
00:01:47,535 --> 00:01:48,568
Good morning,
Lorraine.
31
00:01:48,653 --> 00:01:50,570
Uhp-pa-pa. Hang on.
32
00:01:50,655 --> 00:01:53,507
I got to go over you
with the metal detector.
33
00:01:53,574 --> 00:01:55,709
Bup-bup, bup-bup,
34
00:01:55,793 --> 00:01:57,244
bup-bup, bup-bup
35
00:01:57,328 --> 00:01:58,411
bup-bup, bup-bup,
bup-bup, bup-bup.
36
00:01:58,479 --> 00:02:01,998
Uh-oh! Someone's got
buns of steel!
37
00:02:02,066 --> 00:02:03,166
You smell that?
38
00:02:03,217 --> 00:02:04,701
Something's on fire?
39
00:02:04,752 --> 00:02:07,754
Oh, it's you--
you're smoking.
40
00:02:10,191 --> 00:02:12,209
Yeah, I flirt at work.
We all do.
41
00:02:12,276 --> 00:02:14,127
It's-it's nice
to feel desirable, you know?
42
00:02:14,195 --> 00:02:17,097
It's harmless fun. Like eating
grapes at the supermarket,
43
00:02:17,165 --> 00:02:19,166
or taking your penis out
on the subway.
44
00:02:20,885 --> 00:02:23,570
Yeah! Shake it,
Thunder Butt!
45
00:02:23,638 --> 00:02:25,539
I actually have a nickname
around here.
46
00:02:25,606 --> 00:02:28,658
The ladies gave it to me because
of my legendary derriere.
47
00:02:28,726 --> 00:02:30,827
Oh, you want to see
the Thunder Clap?
48
00:02:30,895 --> 00:02:32,395
Whoo!
49
00:02:32,446 --> 00:02:34,197
Yeah. There he goes.
50
00:02:34,248 --> 00:02:37,317
Oh, man!
51
00:02:37,385 --> 00:02:38,451
Check it.
52
00:02:38,519 --> 00:02:40,120
Hard, right?
53
00:02:40,188 --> 00:02:42,923
Like two rocks kissing
over the mouth of a coyote den.
54
00:02:45,459 --> 00:02:47,227
Hey, ginger scoops.
55
00:02:47,295 --> 00:02:49,112
I was looking at nudie
mags in that field
56
00:02:49,180 --> 00:02:51,348
and I need you to
check me for ticks.
57
00:02:51,415 --> 00:02:52,833
Oh, goodness.
58
00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:56,786
This is truly the most beautiful
birdhouse I've ever seen.
59
00:02:56,854 --> 00:02:58,555
Did you buy it from God?
60
00:02:58,623 --> 00:03:00,590
No, I made it myself.
61
00:03:00,658 --> 00:03:02,859
Steven, you have a gift.
62
00:03:02,927 --> 00:03:05,579
With my business savvy
and your natural ability,
63
00:03:05,646 --> 00:03:06,646
we could make a fortune.
64
00:03:06,714 --> 00:03:08,114
Oh, I just do it for fun,
65
00:03:08,182 --> 00:03:10,884
and to help a bird or two
get out of the cold.
66
00:03:10,952 --> 00:03:13,119
What if you could help
thousands of birds?
67
00:03:13,187 --> 00:03:15,488
Gosh, I-I'd say "yes."
68
00:03:15,573 --> 00:03:16,973
Put her there, partner.
69
00:03:17,041 --> 00:03:19,109
I'll go drum up
some business.
70
00:03:19,176 --> 00:03:21,444
But first, I really need
you to check me for ticks.
71
00:03:21,512 --> 00:03:23,630
Anything?
72
00:03:23,698 --> 00:03:25,232
They're tough to see.
73
00:03:27,618 --> 00:03:29,886
And I said, "I don't
like tomatoes,"
74
00:03:29,954 --> 00:03:32,389
and he said he can make it
without the tomatoes.
75
00:03:32,456 --> 00:03:34,591
Sounds delish.
This is good.
76
00:03:34,642 --> 00:03:36,409
Kiss.
77
00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:38,595
Kiss.
78
00:03:38,646 --> 00:03:41,114
Oh, I didn't know
the forecast
79
00:03:41,182 --> 00:03:44,484
was calling for thunder.
80
00:03:44,552 --> 00:03:47,136
Whoo! Whoo!
81
00:03:47,188 --> 00:03:48,855
Thunder? What's she
talking about?
82
00:03:48,940 --> 00:03:50,574
Oh, she's big
into hang gliding.
83
00:03:50,641 --> 00:03:51,942
She probably won't
go up today.
84
00:03:51,993 --> 00:03:53,243
Not with that much chop.
85
00:03:54,695 --> 00:03:56,529
Phew!
86
00:03:59,584 --> 00:04:02,085
Attention everyone!
87
00:04:02,152 --> 00:04:03,536
Some of you have been asking
88
00:04:03,621 --> 00:04:05,322
where my assistant
Monroe has gone.
89
00:04:05,389 --> 00:04:06,506
What happened to him?!
90
00:04:06,591 --> 00:04:08,341
Simmer, Sanders.
91
00:04:08,426 --> 00:04:11,511
Monroe has decided
to breed mastiffs up in Canada.
92
00:04:11,596 --> 00:04:14,664
Apparently you can get
$1,200 per puppy.
93
00:04:14,715 --> 00:04:17,300
So that's pretty good.
Anyway...
94
00:04:17,351 --> 00:04:20,670
I decided to promote Lorraine
to be my new assistant.
95
00:04:22,690 --> 00:04:24,674
Now, we'll need
a new receptionist,
96
00:04:24,725 --> 00:04:26,276
so I'm going through résumés.
97
00:04:26,343 --> 00:04:27,444
But I'll be honest,
98
00:04:27,511 --> 00:04:29,012
the only ones we've gotten
99
00:04:29,063 --> 00:04:31,798
are from Chinese spies
trying to infiltrate us.
100
00:04:31,866 --> 00:04:33,817
Silly Chinese.
101
00:04:33,868 --> 00:04:38,021
Even with their ninja magic they
could never pass for one of us.
102
00:04:38,072 --> 00:04:39,789
They've mastered
art of the noodle,
103
00:04:39,857 --> 00:04:41,391
but not art of disguise.
104
00:04:41,459 --> 00:04:43,960
Good one, Butch.
105
00:04:44,028 --> 00:04:46,246
But seriously,
anyone know anything
106
00:04:46,330 --> 00:04:48,815
about any launch codes?
107
00:04:48,883 --> 00:04:50,917
My name is Butch Johnson
108
00:04:50,985 --> 00:04:53,253
from 5 Green Lane,
Plymouth, Indiana,
109
00:04:53,321 --> 00:04:57,157
zip 46563-3781.
110
00:04:57,224 --> 00:04:59,559
I like shooting hoops
and Ms. Kelly Ripa.
111
00:04:59,627 --> 00:05:02,562
But seriously,
anyone seen anything to do
112
00:05:02,630 --> 00:05:05,131
with launch codes?
113
00:05:05,199 --> 00:05:06,816
Bam!
114
00:05:06,867 --> 00:05:08,435
Two orders. Prepaid.
115
00:05:08,502 --> 00:05:10,070
Oh, boy.
116
00:05:10,137 --> 00:05:11,855
Wait. Two houses?
117
00:05:11,922 --> 00:05:14,090
I-I don't know if I can produce
at that volume.
118
00:05:14,158 --> 00:05:15,659
Steve, relax.
119
00:05:15,726 --> 00:05:18,178
You just concentrate on being
the creative force God made you,
120
00:05:18,245 --> 00:05:19,446
and leave the rest to me.
121
00:05:19,513 --> 00:05:21,314
To our new business.
122
00:05:21,382 --> 00:05:23,566
To our new...
123
00:05:23,634 --> 00:05:26,636
These are a lot stronger
than when I was a kid.
124
00:05:28,305 --> 00:05:30,440
Jocelyn. Joss.
125
00:05:30,508 --> 00:05:31,958
Jossy.
126
00:05:32,026 --> 00:05:34,177
I wish that I was
Jossy's girl.
127
00:05:35,345 --> 00:05:36,312
Stan?
128
00:05:37,648 --> 00:05:39,015
Ooh! Francine!
129
00:05:41,352 --> 00:05:42,485
What are you doing here?
130
00:05:42,536 --> 00:05:44,371
I work here.
131
00:05:44,455 --> 00:05:46,022
I'm the new receptionist.
132
00:05:46,073 --> 00:05:49,626
I'll be right back. I got to go
fill out my paperwork with HR.
133
00:05:49,693 --> 00:05:51,694
Isn't this great?
134
00:05:54,081 --> 00:05:55,882
You're still filming?!
135
00:05:55,966 --> 00:05:57,384
Don't you have
enough footage yet?
136
00:05:57,468 --> 00:05:59,052
What is this even for?
137
00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:02,389
Uh, we are
Dutch documentary crew.
138
00:06:02,456 --> 00:06:04,024
Yes, the Dutch.
139
00:06:04,091 --> 00:06:05,225
I believe them.
140
00:06:05,292 --> 00:06:07,677
Checks out to me!
141
00:06:07,745 --> 00:06:10,180
But seriously,
anyone know anything
142
00:06:10,247 --> 00:06:12,782
about any
launch codes?
143
00:06:18,244 --> 00:06:19,350
Isn't this great,
144
00:06:19,351 --> 00:06:20,718
us working together?
145
00:06:20,786 --> 00:06:23,371
I know. Yay.
How did this happen?
146
00:06:23,438 --> 00:06:26,490
It was at one of your office
Christmas parties, years ago.
147
00:06:26,558 --> 00:06:28,259
With Steve now in school,
148
00:06:28,327 --> 00:06:30,428
I've got the itch
to start working again.
149
00:06:30,495 --> 00:06:32,797
Your chest is crazy.
150
00:06:32,864 --> 00:06:36,200
Definitely send me
your résumé.
151
00:06:36,268 --> 00:06:37,735
I didn't get the job
at the time,
152
00:06:37,803 --> 00:06:39,704
but when I was dropping you
off the other morning,
153
00:06:39,771 --> 00:06:40,972
I ran into Bullock.
154
00:06:44,643 --> 00:06:46,711
My leg!
155
00:06:46,778 --> 00:06:49,780
You bitch! I'm gonna
sue the living...
156
00:06:49,848 --> 00:06:53,651
Crazy Chest.
How are you?
157
00:06:53,719 --> 00:06:55,920
Well, that is
just fantastic.
158
00:06:55,988 --> 00:06:57,588
Mind if I borrow
your desk rock?
159
00:06:59,441 --> 00:07:00,491
Are you nuts?!
160
00:07:00,559 --> 00:07:02,093
You hired my wife?!
161
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,395
So? I also banged
your daughter.
162
00:07:04,463 --> 00:07:06,864
And remember your
Fourth of July barbecue?
163
00:07:06,932 --> 00:07:09,000
I muff-punched
your gram-gram;
164
00:07:09,067 --> 00:07:11,102
she was just too senile
to know it.
165
00:07:11,169 --> 00:07:13,371
Work is where I come
to socialize.
166
00:07:13,438 --> 00:07:15,573
Having Francine here
will ruin that.
167
00:07:15,641 --> 00:07:17,008
How would you like it
if your wife worked here?
168
00:07:17,075 --> 00:07:18,509
Oh, I'd love it.
169
00:07:18,577 --> 00:07:21,395
Is there an opening for a woman
who bangs every black man
170
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:24,548
she meets in a Red Lobster
parking lot?
171
00:07:27,653 --> 00:07:31,022
Three more orders.
172
00:07:44,319 --> 00:07:45,820
You bought a scooter?
173
00:07:45,904 --> 00:07:48,255
Shouldn't we be putting our
profits back into the company?
174
00:07:48,323 --> 00:07:50,908
The birdhouse game
is all about appearance, Steve.
175
00:07:50,976 --> 00:07:52,593
Do you think I would have made
all those sales
176
00:07:52,661 --> 00:07:54,028
if I had shown up
on my Hippity Hop?
177
00:07:55,864 --> 00:07:58,032
All right. Well,
178
00:07:58,100 --> 00:07:59,567
can you at least go get me
some more supplies?
179
00:07:59,634 --> 00:08:00,801
I'm on it.
180
00:08:07,325 --> 00:08:09,160
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
181
00:08:12,798 --> 00:08:14,215
Stan. Hi.
182
00:08:14,299 --> 00:08:15,933
Oh, hi, Francine.
183
00:08:16,001 --> 00:08:17,134
How's your day going?
184
00:08:17,202 --> 00:08:19,737
Thunder!
185
00:08:19,805 --> 00:08:20,938
Uh, I-I really got to go.
186
00:08:21,005 --> 00:08:22,390
I-I have to mail something.
187
00:08:22,474 --> 00:08:25,860
Yeah! Show the new girl
the Thunder Clap.
188
00:08:25,944 --> 00:08:29,563
Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!
189
00:08:29,648 --> 00:08:31,515
Yeah!
190
00:08:31,583 --> 00:08:33,868
Well. That was something.
191
00:08:33,935 --> 00:08:35,569
Francine, I can explain.
192
00:08:35,637 --> 00:08:37,371
Stan, don't worry
about it.
193
00:08:37,439 --> 00:08:39,206
It's just a little
harmless flirting.
194
00:08:39,291 --> 00:08:40,858
Right, that's
all it is.
195
00:08:40,926 --> 00:08:42,526
You don't have
to change your behavior
196
00:08:42,594 --> 00:08:44,395
now that I'm here.
197
00:08:44,463 --> 00:08:48,666
Are-are you sure?
Absolutely. Flirt away.
198
00:08:48,734 --> 00:08:51,001
Hey, Jocelyn,
good news.
199
00:08:51,069 --> 00:08:53,871
I can still throw goldfish
crackers into your cleavage.
200
00:09:07,402 --> 00:09:08,836
Feel the bullet
stuck in there?
201
00:09:08,904 --> 00:09:12,022
Mmm, I can't tell if it's
that or an ab muscle.
202
00:09:12,090 --> 00:09:13,441
Everything's so hard.
203
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,244
Is this-is this how we're
fighting al-Qaeda now?
204
00:09:17,312 --> 00:09:18,846
By-by horsing around?!
205
00:09:18,914 --> 00:09:21,115
Stan, how come
you didn't tell me
206
00:09:21,183 --> 00:09:24,318
everyone is so nice here?
207
00:09:26,271 --> 00:09:28,005
I've got your
wedding ring.
208
00:09:28,073 --> 00:09:29,673
Technically,
you're not married.
209
00:09:29,741 --> 00:09:31,342
Hey, you give that back.
210
00:09:38,550 --> 00:09:43,487
Yeah! I'm the Mayor
of Jam City!
211
00:09:52,097 --> 00:09:54,315
Hi, honey. How
was your day?
212
00:09:54,399 --> 00:09:56,934
Thompson's riding
my ass again.
213
00:09:57,002 --> 00:09:59,687
He still wants you to get that
proposal done by Monday?
214
00:09:59,754 --> 00:10:01,939
I'm sorry, I'm going to
have to work all weekend.
215
00:10:02,007 --> 00:10:03,824
Oh, poor baby.
216
00:10:03,892 --> 00:10:05,342
Tell you what.
217
00:10:05,410 --> 00:10:07,077
I'll sit on the kids tonight.
218
00:10:07,145 --> 00:10:09,663
You take a hot bath...
219
00:10:13,635 --> 00:10:14,985
Tatianna!
220
00:10:15,053 --> 00:10:17,004
Leave me! Save the kids!
221
00:10:25,714 --> 00:10:27,481
FATHER BIRD
No...!
222
00:10:30,051 --> 00:10:32,720
What a piece of crap.
223
00:10:37,959 --> 00:10:39,493
Oh, no!
224
00:10:39,561 --> 00:10:42,196
How could
this happen?!
225
00:10:44,533 --> 00:10:46,350
This isn't a McGinty screw.
226
00:10:46,418 --> 00:10:48,586
It's just a cheap knockoff!
227
00:10:48,653 --> 00:10:49,820
How on Earth...?
228
00:10:49,888 --> 00:10:52,256
Roger!
229
00:10:52,324 --> 00:10:53,824
That bastard!
230
00:10:53,892 --> 00:10:55,960
Oh, Greg, look!
231
00:10:56,011 --> 00:10:57,962
The Aquabot made it
to the shallow end.
232
00:11:03,285 --> 00:11:05,019
Come on. Stop it.
233
00:11:05,086 --> 00:11:07,605
Oh! Wheel me back
to my desk.
234
00:11:07,672 --> 00:11:10,024
Spinny chair!
235
00:11:10,091 --> 00:11:12,760
Who wants my hot black box?
236
00:11:12,827 --> 00:11:14,528
Of coffee!
237
00:11:16,982 --> 00:11:18,566
What's the matter with you guys?
238
00:11:18,633 --> 00:11:20,201
You forget about Lorraine
already?
239
00:11:20,268 --> 00:11:23,737
I'm wearing my Pocahontas boots.
240
00:11:23,822 --> 00:11:25,072
Oh, damn.
241
00:11:25,140 --> 00:11:26,440
Oh, damn, my ankle.
242
00:11:26,508 --> 00:11:27,741
Damn it!
243
00:11:27,809 --> 00:11:29,710
These Indian boots
are sexy as hell,
244
00:11:29,778 --> 00:11:31,478
but they do not support
my frame.
245
00:11:41,056 --> 00:11:42,456
Spinny chair.
246
00:11:42,524 --> 00:11:44,391
I invented spinny chair.
247
00:11:44,459 --> 00:11:47,328
Don't talk to me
about spinny chair.
248
00:11:47,395 --> 00:11:48,812
I hear you.
249
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:50,648
I'm old news.
250
00:11:50,715 --> 00:11:53,484
Everyone's just interested
in that wife of yours.
251
00:11:53,551 --> 00:11:55,319
Well, I'm not happy
about it, either.
252
00:11:55,387 --> 00:11:57,755
When I flirt, it's cute--
borderline Smurfy.
253
00:11:57,822 --> 00:11:59,657
When she flirts, it's not cute.
254
00:11:59,724 --> 00:12:01,926
Sounds to me
like that milky jezebel's
255
00:12:01,993 --> 00:12:03,627
giving us both trouble.
256
00:12:03,695 --> 00:12:05,329
If we want things
to get back to normal,
257
00:12:05,397 --> 00:12:07,698
we got to come up with a way
to get Francine out of there.
258
00:12:07,766 --> 00:12:09,400
Yeah, uh-huh.
259
00:12:09,467 --> 00:12:11,168
I hear you.
260
00:12:11,236 --> 00:12:12,553
Oh, hey.
How's your ankle?
261
00:12:12,621 --> 00:12:13,687
Not good.
262
00:12:13,755 --> 00:12:15,956
Doctor says I got
to lose 55 pounds.
263
00:12:16,024 --> 00:12:17,858
I said, "Well,
I'm losing you.
264
00:12:17,926 --> 00:12:20,060
That's 200 pounds
right there."
265
00:12:20,128 --> 00:12:21,462
Mm-hmm!
266
00:12:33,141 --> 00:12:35,976
Where... the hell...
267
00:12:36,044 --> 00:12:38,779
is my sandwich?!
268
00:12:48,290 --> 00:12:50,491
Where is Francine Smith?
269
00:12:50,558 --> 00:12:53,010
Oh. Uh, her and a few people
went down to the quad.
270
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,482
Hey, Lorraine,
you got to get to the quad.
271
00:12:58,550 --> 00:13:01,385
I thought of a way to take care
of our Francine problem.
272
00:13:01,453 --> 00:13:02,886
Oh, I was just about
to call you.
273
00:13:02,954 --> 00:13:04,388
I'm already down here.
274
00:13:04,456 --> 00:13:06,173
I came up with a plan myself.
275
00:13:11,296 --> 00:13:12,596
Oh, God!
276
00:13:12,664 --> 00:13:15,482
That's acid in your face,
you fine-ass bitch!
277
00:13:23,597 --> 00:13:25,699
What kind of monster
are you?
278
00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:27,155
You said,
"Get rid of her."
279
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,623
I meant get her fired.
280
00:13:28,691 --> 00:13:30,759
I stayed up all night
plotting an intricate scheme
281
00:13:30,827 --> 00:13:32,244
with Bullock's sandwich.
282
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:33,945
Yeah, well, while you
were playing sandwiches,
283
00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:35,947
I was coming up
with a real plan.
284
00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:37,916
You melted my wife's face!
285
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:39,151
Please.
286
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,188
How bad is it, Doc?
287
00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:45,106
Here. Lookie.
288
00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:47,609
Oh, God!
289
00:13:47,677 --> 00:13:49,461
Oh, no! Oh, God!
290
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,564
How could you show me that?
I know.
291
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,399
Normally, we'd give her
a skin graft,
292
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,668
but we're currently in
a nationwide skin shortage.
293
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:59,971
We'll put her on the wait list,
but it could take years.
294
00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:02,407
Unless...
295
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:04,459
she dies.
296
00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:08,947
Why did Lorraine
do this?
297
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,382
I don't know.
298
00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:12,350
I was just talking to her
about getting you fired.
299
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:13,585
I-I didn't mean
for her to...
300
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:15,654
Wait. You were in
on this?
301
00:14:15,721 --> 00:14:18,123
I can't believe
my ears.
302
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,458
You mean the holes where
your ears used to be.
303
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:21,693
And I'm sorry.
304
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:23,428
Get out of here, Stan.
305
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,797
I can't stand
to be around you.
306
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,632
Okay, well...
307
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,602
I'm going to go downstairs
and grab a hamburger.
308
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:33,271
♪ Just like
the white-winged dove ♪
309
00:14:33,339 --> 00:14:35,574
♪ Sings a song,
sounds like she's singing ♪
310
00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:37,542
♪ Ooh, ooh... ♪
311
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:38,760
You!
312
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:40,228
Steve!
313
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,147
You bought cheap
screws, Roger!
314
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:44,816
You cut corners to pay
for your... your whores
315
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,302
and your drugs and your
stupid Klaus tattoo!
316
00:14:48,738 --> 00:14:50,555
Klaus likes it.
317
00:14:52,775 --> 00:14:53,942
You know what?
318
00:14:54,010 --> 00:14:55,911
You're nothing but
a drug addict.
319
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:57,829
Birds died
because of you!
320
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,315
Oh, my God. Who cares?
321
00:15:00,383 --> 00:15:02,334
Our partnership is over!
322
00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:05,153
I never want to
see you again!
323
00:15:05,221 --> 00:15:07,038
Then, don't look
in the night sky,
324
00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:08,907
because I'm a star.
325
00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:11,376
And that's not
the cocaine talking.
326
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:13,612
So, girls, tell me more
about your childhood.
327
00:15:13,679 --> 00:15:15,614
Now, that's the
cocaine talking.
328
00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:19,384
How's she doing?
329
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:20,719
Well, the good news is,
330
00:15:20,786 --> 00:15:22,554
eight people waiting for skin
have died,
331
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:24,155
so we're moving up the list.
332
00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:26,291
But Francine's furious with me.
333
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:28,426
Do you want me
to read to your wife?
334
00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:30,929
I could read her
some launch codes.
335
00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:33,765
But I would need
those launch codes.
336
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:35,283
Good morning.
337
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,952
Oh, my God. I'm out of here.
Oh, no.
338
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,353
What are you doing here?
339
00:15:38,421 --> 00:15:40,722
Shouldn't you be at home
in case the skin people call?
340
00:15:40,790 --> 00:15:42,757
You'd like that,
wouldn't you?
341
00:15:42,825 --> 00:15:46,027
Me sitting at home while
you're here having fun.
342
00:15:46,095 --> 00:15:47,596
Forget it, buster.
343
00:15:47,663 --> 00:15:49,497
I still have a job to do,
344
00:15:49,565 --> 00:15:52,033
and I'm not going to
let you take that away.
345
00:15:53,502 --> 00:15:55,570
Is that Francine's voice I hear?
346
00:15:55,638 --> 00:15:57,806
Look who made
a speedy recov...
347
00:15:57,873 --> 00:15:59,641
No.
348
00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:03,395
Hey, Jackson.
349
00:16:03,479 --> 00:16:04,879
I have a face muffin
in the toaster.
350
00:16:04,947 --> 00:16:06,147
Oh, hi, Ann.
351
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:07,916
I need to talk to you
about ordering some...
352
00:16:07,984 --> 00:16:09,017
Not in the budget.
353
00:16:14,090 --> 00:16:15,223
Hey, Dick.
Do me a favor.
354
00:16:15,291 --> 00:16:16,725
Yeah, buddy. Anything.
355
00:16:16,792 --> 00:16:18,727
Can you go chat with my wife,
flirt with her a little?
356
00:16:18,794 --> 00:16:20,679
Your wife?
No.
357
00:16:20,746 --> 00:16:22,647
I saw Newsies
on Broadway, man.
358
00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:24,482
I paid my dues.
359
00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:27,919
Are you sure there's no way?
360
00:16:29,639 --> 00:16:32,290
Francine!
Hey, foxy.
361
00:16:32,358 --> 00:16:34,225
Oh. Uh, hey, Dick.
362
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:36,528
You... want to
talk to me?
363
00:16:36,595 --> 00:16:38,196
Yeah, yeah. Of course.
364
00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:40,598
Settling back in okay?
365
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:41,933
Keep going.
366
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,034
What you working on?
367
00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:44,402
Oh, I'm just...
368
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:45,603
Oh, sorry.
369
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,372
Been shedding scabs all day.
370
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,474
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's cool.
371
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,376
I can't do it!
372
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,447
Easy choice.
373
00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:56,648
Hi, baby.
374
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:59,351
You were threatening him
so he'd talk to me?
375
00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:05,657
DICK
Stan, I can't...
376
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:08,493
believe how dirty it is
under my desk.
377
00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:14,899
Hey. Roger.
378
00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:17,736
Wow. I almost
didn't recognize you.
379
00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:20,572
It's been a long time.
380
00:17:20,639 --> 00:17:23,274
I see you're still doing
the birdhouse thing.
381
00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:24,809
It passes the time.
382
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,177
It was always
in your blood.
383
00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:27,746
Yeah.
384
00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:30,215
So how have you been?
385
00:17:30,282 --> 00:17:31,649
Good. Real good.
Real good.
386
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,785
Cleaned up my act.
Got sober.
387
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:36,104
Living with a gal
over on Canal Street.
388
00:17:36,172 --> 00:17:38,106
Taking a couple classes
over at the Y.
389
00:17:38,174 --> 00:17:40,125
Getting this tattoo lasered off.
390
00:17:40,192 --> 00:17:41,860
The... the treatments hurt
391
00:17:41,927 --> 00:17:43,644
more than putting
the darn thing on.
392
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:46,197
I'm sure. I'm sure.
393
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:50,418
Listen, Steve, I'm sorry
about what happened.
394
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,020
What I put you through.
395
00:17:52,088 --> 00:17:53,354
Water under the bridge.
396
00:17:53,422 --> 00:17:54,789
Hon-honestly.
397
00:17:54,857 --> 00:17:56,541
Well, I better
get going.
398
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,943
Maybe we can grab a cup
of coffee sometime?
399
00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:00,879
I'd like that.
400
00:18:00,963 --> 00:18:02,147
Hey, Roger.
401
00:18:02,214 --> 00:18:03,314
Yeah?
402
00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:04,766
I'm rooting for you.
403
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,735
I know, Steve.
404
00:18:06,802 --> 00:18:09,354
You always were.
405
00:18:09,438 --> 00:18:11,672
Our birdhouse business
had been hard on me,
406
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:14,192
but it had taken
a real toll on Roger.
407
00:18:14,276 --> 00:18:15,894
I knew it wasn't true--
408
00:18:15,978 --> 00:18:18,229
the classes, the girlfriend,
the sobriety.
409
00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:19,948
It was all a lie.
410
00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:22,367
That's why I wasn't surprised
to read in the paper
411
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,702
that he had OD'd
not ten seconds later.
412
00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:36,281
Hey, Butch, it's Stan.
413
00:18:36,348 --> 00:18:37,415
Oh, no.
414
00:18:37,483 --> 00:18:38,950
Oh, no. Oh, no.
415
00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:41,119
Fork, fork,
fork, fork, fork!
416
00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:44,055
Get rid of the chopstick
and use the fork!
417
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,523
Hey, Stan.
418
00:18:45,591 --> 00:18:47,275
What up, playa?
419
00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:48,943
I'm just hanging out
with the Dutch.
420
00:18:49,011 --> 00:18:50,395
Hey, sorry to
bother you at home.
421
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:51,796
It's just, I-I got
those launch codes
422
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:52,897
you've been
asking about.
423
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,699
Oh, my God.
424
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,034
But first,
I just need you
425
00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:57,569
to take my wife to
lunch tomorrow.
426
00:18:57,636 --> 00:18:59,354
You know, flirt with her,
make her feel good.
427
00:19:02,191 --> 00:19:03,958
Aah! I give up.
428
00:19:04,026 --> 00:19:05,910
I am Chinese spy.
429
00:19:05,995 --> 00:19:08,129
Don't make me have
meal with your wife.
430
00:19:08,197 --> 00:19:10,765
Her face is too much!
431
00:19:12,168 --> 00:19:13,668
Oh, just have
a seat anywhere.
432
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,336
I don't know
what to do.
433
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:17,272
No one at work will
flirt with my wife.
434
00:19:17,339 --> 00:19:19,307
Why do you need someone
to flirt with your wife?
435
00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:20,508
What do you mean?
436
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:21,860
To make her feel
good about herself.
437
00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:23,111
But you're her husband.
438
00:19:23,179 --> 00:19:24,913
Why you no do that?
439
00:19:24,980 --> 00:19:26,414
Well, because...
I don't know.
440
00:19:26,482 --> 00:19:27,816
I-I guess...
I didn't think
441
00:19:27,883 --> 00:19:29,584
it would mean as
much coming from me.
442
00:19:29,652 --> 00:19:32,253
That so stupid,
you silly goose.
443
00:19:32,321 --> 00:19:35,123
Everything mean more
from spouse.
444
00:19:35,191 --> 00:19:37,242
You're right.
You're right.
445
00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:39,177
Thank you.
446
00:19:39,245 --> 00:19:40,912
So...
447
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:43,448
I'm not in trouble
for being a spy?
448
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:44,649
Oh, no, you are.
449
00:19:48,053 --> 00:19:49,787
Can you believe
that guy?
450
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:50,955
You Dutch are
all right, though.
451
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,490
Now, I have a question--
452
00:19:52,558 --> 00:19:54,359
do all your ovens
smell like farts?
453
00:19:54,426 --> 00:19:57,028
Where does that... where
does that saying come from?
454
00:20:07,056 --> 00:20:08,256
Hey, beautiful.
455
00:20:08,324 --> 00:20:09,440
Stan?
456
00:20:09,508 --> 00:20:10,892
What are you doing?
457
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,160
Flirtin' with ya.
458
00:20:12,228 --> 00:20:13,528
Stan, it doesn't count.
459
00:20:13,596 --> 00:20:14,829
I'm your wife.
460
00:20:14,897 --> 00:20:16,397
No, it counts more
than anything.
461
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:19,551
Instead of wasting my time
flirting with people at work,
462
00:20:19,618 --> 00:20:21,452
I should have been
flirting with you.
463
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,888
You mean flirt...
with each other?
464
00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:24,956
Go ahead.
465
00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:26,391
Try it, Soft Shoulders.
466
00:20:26,458 --> 00:20:27,659
Okay.
467
00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:30,895
Um, what do you want
for dinner?
468
00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:32,897
No, that's not good.
469
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:36,634
Um, did you remember
to pay the gas bill?
470
00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:37,869
No.
471
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:39,504
God, it's so hard
with you!
472
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,439
Uh... oh, I got it.
473
00:20:41,507 --> 00:20:43,341
We have that thing
474
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,810
at Steve's school
on Wednesday night.
475
00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:48,546
That maybe we should
blow off and...?
476
00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:51,349
Do something more fun...?
477
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:54,085
Like get drunk on
margaritas...?
478
00:20:54,153 --> 00:20:56,087
And touch butts
under a bridge!
479
00:20:56,155 --> 00:20:57,255
Okay, well,
it's a start.
480
00:20:57,323 --> 00:20:58,489
We'll get the
hang of it.
481
00:20:58,557 --> 00:21:00,792
I love you, Thunder Butt.
482
00:21:00,859 --> 00:21:02,026
That's it!
483
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,095
What's it, my love?
484
00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:07,999
There you go.
Good as new.
485
00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:10,168
Hey, Crater Butt.
Hey, Ass Face.
486
00:21:10,236 --> 00:21:14,236
== sync, corrected by elderman ==