1 00:00:03,030 --> 00:00:05,380 ♪ Good morning, USA! ♪ 2 00:00:05,546 --> 00:00:09,217 ♪ I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 3 00:00:09,383 --> 00:00:12,346 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 4 00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:16,725 ♪ And he's shining a salute to the American race ♪ 5 00:00:18,726 --> 00:00:22,007 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 6 00:00:22,132 --> 00:00:24,042 ♪ Good... ♪ ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 7 00:00:24,167 --> 00:00:25,525 Aah! 8 00:00:26,997 --> 00:00:30,197 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com 9 00:00:32,907 --> 00:00:34,553 This is Principal Lewis. 10 00:00:34,678 --> 00:00:37,523 I need Steve Smith to come to my office at once. 11 00:00:37,648 --> 00:00:39,373 Ooh. 12 00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:42,361 Steve, we said we were gonna be good this year. 13 00:00:42,486 --> 00:00:44,296 We're co-presidents of the Good Boy Club. 14 00:00:44,421 --> 00:00:47,297 Did that kiss oath mean nothing? 15 00:00:58,774 --> 00:00:59,884 Hall pass, please? 16 00:01:00,009 --> 00:01:01,575 Sure. I got it right here. 17 00:01:01,700 --> 00:01:02,755 Wha-bam. 18 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:04,106 Oh, dear. 19 00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:06,449 I'll handle this, Jared. 20 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:13,833 Wha-bam! 21 00:01:13,958 --> 00:01:15,784 That was pretty hilarious, buddy. 22 00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:18,003 I swear, it's like they're dating now. 23 00:01:18,128 --> 00:01:21,248 They don't pay me enough to give a damn about that. 24 00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:23,508 Here's the account info I was telling you about. 25 00:01:23,633 --> 00:01:24,977 My credit's a mess. 26 00:01:25,102 --> 00:01:26,345 I'm in overdraft hell, 27 00:01:26,470 --> 00:01:28,247 and now the bank's telling me my debit card... 28 00:01:28,372 --> 00:01:30,549 Bri, Bri. Relax. I got it. 29 00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:33,927 Clara, could you make me a nice hot chocolate? 30 00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:36,321 Clara, 31 00:01:36,446 --> 00:01:38,523 did you you roll your god-dang eyes at him? 32 00:01:38,648 --> 00:01:40,659 Woman, I will make you teach summer school. 33 00:01:40,784 --> 00:01:42,436 I will steal your summer. 34 00:01:45,313 --> 00:01:46,899 First, we move you to a credit union. 35 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,901 Better interest rates. 36 00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:50,202 Ech! 37 00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,571 That's how you lose a summer, bitch. 38 00:02:00,570 --> 00:02:01,747 ♪ What's that sound? ♪ 39 00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:03,482 ♪ It's the calendar on my smartphone ♪ 40 00:02:03,607 --> 00:02:04,917 ♪ Having fun tonight ♪ 41 00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:06,919 ♪ Is it dinner, a party, or drinks with Tom? ♪ 42 00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,520 Oh,! It's "Coffee with the Principal" 43 00:02:08,645 --> 00:02:09,789 at Steve's school. 44 00:02:09,914 --> 00:02:12,724 Oh, God. We've gone to a million of those. 45 00:02:12,849 --> 00:02:14,217 Why don't I go in your place? 46 00:02:14,383 --> 00:02:15,727 Oh, thanks, Roger, but you have to be a parent 47 00:02:15,852 --> 00:02:16,887 to go to these things. 48 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:18,264 Or a legal guardian. 49 00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:21,000 All you'd have to do is sign a few papers and la-la, 50 00:02:21,125 --> 00:02:22,634 I'm responsible for Steve. 51 00:02:22,759 --> 00:02:23,936 Roger, couple things. 52 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:26,605 I think you meant to say "viola," instead of "la-la. " 53 00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:27,840 I did. 54 00:02:27,965 --> 00:02:29,875 And we'd be terrible parents 55 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,077 if we gave you any authority over Steve. 56 00:02:32,202 --> 00:02:33,745 Hey, I'm a great caregiver. 57 00:02:33,870 --> 00:02:35,281 I promise, if you make me his guardian, 58 00:02:35,406 --> 00:02:36,490 I won't let you down. 59 00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:38,116 How are we supposed to believe that? 60 00:02:38,407 --> 00:02:41,495 Behold. Roger Smith, caregiver. 61 00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,222 Here's me burping a baby. 62 00:02:43,347 --> 00:02:44,723 Here's me cultivating a garden. 63 00:02:44,848 --> 00:02:46,558 Lush. 64 00:02:46,683 --> 00:02:48,393 Here's me shaving a homeless. 65 00:02:48,518 --> 00:02:50,462 Shaved him clean, bow to stern. 66 00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:52,497 Smooth as a dolphin. 67 00:02:52,622 --> 00:02:53,823 Impressive. 68 00:02:55,059 --> 00:02:56,702 And take a look at the satisfaction survey 69 00:02:56,827 --> 00:02:58,603 Klaus filled out after I took care of him 70 00:02:58,728 --> 00:03:00,505 the week you all went to Michael Jackson's funeral. 71 00:03:00,630 --> 00:03:02,241 ♪ Hee-hee! ♪ 72 00:03:02,366 --> 00:03:05,110 You'll notice Klaus rated me a five in every category. 73 00:03:05,235 --> 00:03:07,854 I wrestled with that questionnaire for days. 74 00:03:08,020 --> 00:03:09,614 At one point, I convinced myself 75 00:03:09,739 --> 00:03:12,451 Roger's performance in "courtesy" merited a four. 76 00:03:12,576 --> 00:03:16,155 As the pen hit the paper, I knew instantly, I was a liar. 77 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:20,025 I quickly circled the five, but that slight mark remains. 78 00:03:20,150 --> 00:03:24,538 And it torments me every day of my life! 79 00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:25,697 Whoa. 80 00:03:25,822 --> 00:03:27,499 See, I don't have children of my own. 81 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,435 It's hole in my heart I desperately yearn to fill. 82 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,804 Making me Steve's guardian would be the greatest gift 83 00:03:32,929 --> 00:03:34,256 you guys could ever give me. 84 00:03:34,422 --> 00:03:37,009 I guess we could let him do "Coffee with the Principal" 85 00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:40,212 just as a trial run, and if that doesn't work out, 86 00:03:40,337 --> 00:03:41,881 we yank his privileges. 87 00:03:42,006 --> 00:03:44,641 You just got me seriously horny. 88 00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:47,386 Okay, Roger, we'll make you Steve's legal guardian. 89 00:03:47,511 --> 00:03:48,820 Really? Oh, my God! 90 00:03:48,945 --> 00:03:49,989 Thank you! 91 00:03:50,114 --> 00:03:51,257 Whoa, watch out. 92 00:03:51,382 --> 00:03:52,391 Was that a... 93 00:03:52,516 --> 00:03:53,558 No. 94 00:03:53,683 --> 00:03:55,094 Stan. Go on. 95 00:03:55,219 --> 00:03:57,863 Go take care of that. 96 00:03:57,988 --> 00:03:59,865 I got this one. 97 00:04:02,833 --> 00:04:04,508 Hey, bud. You hear the great news? 98 00:04:04,633 --> 00:04:05,677 What? 99 00:04:05,802 --> 00:04:07,578 You folks made me your legal guardian. 100 00:04:07,703 --> 00:04:09,881 I'm going to "Coffee with the Principal" in their place. 101 00:04:10,006 --> 00:04:11,983 Whatever. Say hi to Brian for me. 102 00:04:12,108 --> 00:04:14,185 You mean Principal Brian Lewis? 103 00:04:14,310 --> 00:04:15,787 Yeah, me and him are amigos. 104 00:04:15,912 --> 00:04:17,354 I'm texting his ass now. 105 00:04:17,479 --> 00:04:18,823 Colorful language. 106 00:04:18,948 --> 00:04:21,025 Phfft! Shut up, Roger. I'll see you later. 107 00:04:21,150 --> 00:04:22,593 I'll be home after your bedtime. 108 00:04:22,718 --> 00:04:24,361 Pancakes tomorrow sound good? 109 00:04:24,486 --> 00:04:26,064 Whatever, douche. Shut the door. 110 00:04:26,189 --> 00:04:27,392 Of course. Sleep tight. 111 00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:29,027 Gay! 112 00:04:30,936 --> 00:04:32,837 Welcome. Tonight you'll be learning 113 00:04:32,962 --> 00:04:34,983 about your child's scholastic routine. 114 00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:36,574 Any questions are always welcome. 115 00:04:36,699 --> 00:04:39,411 If you're just here to tell me I'm doing a great job, 116 00:04:39,536 --> 00:04:40,655 that's fine, too. 117 00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,782 I have a question. 118 00:04:43,907 --> 00:04:46,017 Roger Smith. Legal guardian for Steve Smith. 119 00:04:46,142 --> 00:04:47,552 Principal Lewis, I've noticed 120 00:04:47,677 --> 00:04:50,422 that my Steve has not been doing well on the state-wide tests. 121 00:04:50,547 --> 00:04:51,708 Why would that be? 122 00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:54,252 Well, some children aren't good test-takers. 123 00:04:54,418 --> 00:04:55,894 Steven's a genius! 124 00:04:56,019 --> 00:04:57,796 Maybe, instead of a new football stadium, 125 00:04:57,921 --> 00:04:59,799 you could have put that money toward your students. 126 00:04:59,965 --> 00:05:01,165 Uh-oh. He's getting it good. 127 00:05:01,290 --> 00:05:02,333 Oh, damn. 128 00:05:02,458 --> 00:05:03,678 Um, who are you? 129 00:05:03,844 --> 00:05:05,102 I know who you are. 130 00:05:05,227 --> 00:05:08,306 Principal Library Book, because you're obviously checked out! 131 00:05:08,431 --> 00:05:09,809 Ooh! 132 00:05:13,437 --> 00:05:15,313 Brian just called me! 133 00:05:15,438 --> 00:05:17,817 He said you were a jerk during "Coffee with the Principal"! 134 00:05:17,983 --> 00:05:19,784 Look, me and him... 135 00:05:19,909 --> 00:05:20,952 He and I... 136 00:05:21,077 --> 00:05:22,821 We have a good thing going at that school. 137 00:05:22,946 --> 00:05:24,322 Don't mess it up. 138 00:05:24,447 --> 00:05:25,824 Mess it... I'm trying to help you. 139 00:05:25,949 --> 00:05:28,259 I stopped by your classes and got your homework for next week. 140 00:05:28,384 --> 00:05:29,928 Why don't you get a jump on it? 141 00:05:30,053 --> 00:05:31,887 I'm going to bed, Roger. I'm tired. 142 00:05:32,889 --> 00:05:34,098 Not anymore, you're not. 143 00:05:34,223 --> 00:05:35,700 That'll keep you wired for a couple hours. 144 00:05:35,825 --> 00:05:36,801 What is that? 145 00:05:36,926 --> 00:05:38,035 For you, it's a study aide. 146 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:39,714 I use it to go dancing. 147 00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:44,442 Well, look who's up before noon. 148 00:05:44,567 --> 00:05:46,310 Just wanted to make a little lunch for Steve. 149 00:05:46,435 --> 00:05:47,645 That was thoughtful. 150 00:05:47,770 --> 00:05:49,647 How was "Coffee with the Principal"? 151 00:05:49,772 --> 00:05:51,850 He made a scene! He told Principal Lewis 152 00:05:51,975 --> 00:05:53,384 I should be getting better grades, 153 00:05:53,509 --> 00:05:56,220 then he went to my classes, got a week's worth of homework, 154 00:05:56,345 --> 00:05:57,941 and made me study till midnight. 155 00:05:58,107 --> 00:05:59,317 That sounds fantastic. 156 00:05:59,483 --> 00:06:00,959 Here, take your lunch. No time to dilly. 157 00:06:01,084 --> 00:06:02,360 The bus is running three minutes early. 158 00:06:02,485 --> 00:06:03,655 Go, go, go, go, go. 159 00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:07,264 Wow. Roger really seems to be on top of things. 160 00:06:07,389 --> 00:06:08,600 There's a school bus? 161 00:06:08,725 --> 00:06:11,135 I'm surprised how good he is with Steve. 162 00:06:11,260 --> 00:06:13,471 Oh, man. Do you know what this means? 163 00:06:13,596 --> 00:06:15,907 If Roger can take care of Steve, 164 00:06:16,032 --> 00:06:18,275 we can finally go on that kids-free vacation 165 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:19,911 we've been talking about the last ten years. 166 00:06:20,036 --> 00:06:21,278 You mean, 167 00:06:21,403 --> 00:06:23,114 the dream vacation? 168 00:06:23,239 --> 00:06:25,176 Five days and four nights at... 169 00:06:25,342 --> 00:06:27,284 Flash Flood Acres! 170 00:06:27,409 --> 00:06:30,955 The largest water park in the universe! 171 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,048 Dan, where are the kids? 172 00:06:34,751 --> 00:06:36,327 How many beers have you had? 173 00:06:36,452 --> 00:06:38,162 Just one. 174 00:06:38,287 --> 00:06:45,947 But it was the largest beer in the universe! 175 00:06:46,113 --> 00:06:48,706 Hey. I want to apologize for my legal guardian. 176 00:06:48,831 --> 00:06:50,608 I had a talk with him. 177 00:06:50,733 --> 00:06:52,078 He won't bother you again. 178 00:06:52,244 --> 00:06:53,778 He's a funny little guy, isn't he? 179 00:06:53,903 --> 00:06:55,613 Made me really nervous. 180 00:06:55,738 --> 00:06:57,882 Hey, could you turn it to channel four? 181 00:06:58,007 --> 00:06:59,502 They're dog a Galactica marathon. 182 00:06:59,668 --> 00:07:02,172 Principal Lewis, we're watching something. 183 00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:04,132 I'm going to hatchet you, Bob Crawley! 184 00:07:04,298 --> 00:07:06,092 It-It's cool, Brian. 185 00:07:10,687 --> 00:07:11,829 Oh, my bank again. 186 00:07:11,954 --> 00:07:12,964 Don't worry about e bank. 187 00:07:13,089 --> 00:07:15,033 I just have one last set of forms to file, 188 00:07:15,158 --> 00:07:16,811 and when that's done, you're golden. 189 00:07:16,977 --> 00:07:18,269 Everybody, freeze. 190 00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:20,538 Registered legal guardian, Commonwealth of Virginia. 191 00:07:20,663 --> 00:07:22,817 Oh, damn it. Toss your weed. 192 00:07:22,983 --> 00:07:24,402 Superintendent? 193 00:07:24,568 --> 00:07:25,877 It's come to my attention 194 00:07:26,002 --> 00:07:28,145 you've been letting one of your students skip classes, 195 00:07:28,270 --> 00:07:30,784 miss tests, and hang out in the teachers' lounge. 196 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,550 I'm sorry, Brian, this is bad. 197 00:07:32,675 --> 00:07:34,018 I hate to say it, but... 198 00:07:34,143 --> 00:07:35,286 You're fired! 199 00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:37,188 Is that what you intended to say, superintendent? 200 00:07:37,313 --> 00:07:39,457 That's what I super-intended to say. 201 00:07:39,582 --> 00:07:41,583 Yay! 202 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,425 Is that too much air? 203 00:07:51,550 --> 00:07:53,760 You want some radio? 204 00:07:53,885 --> 00:07:55,629 I just want what's best for you, Steve. 205 00:07:55,754 --> 00:07:57,364 You've got a funny way of showing it! 206 00:07:57,489 --> 00:07:58,728 Geez, you scared me. 207 00:07:58,990 --> 00:08:00,980 You said nothing for so long, and then you yelled. 208 00:08:01,146 --> 00:08:03,608 I can't believe you got one of my best friends fired! 209 00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:05,372 Friends?! He's using you. 210 00:08:05,497 --> 00:08:07,529 I will not let him ruin your education. 211 00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:08,675 Brian. 212 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,577 BRIAN: So, that was weird today. 213 00:08:10,702 --> 00:08:11,745 We'll get your job back. 214 00:08:11,870 --> 00:08:13,179 And-And don't worry about the bank. 215 00:08:13,304 --> 00:08:14,681 I got your forms right here. 216 00:08:14,806 --> 00:08:16,412 Oh, no you don't. Roger! 217 00:08:16,578 --> 00:08:17,651 Lewis, this is Roger Smith. 218 00:08:17,776 --> 00:08:19,707 I need you to stop calling my boy. 219 00:08:19,873 --> 00:08:21,321 What are you doing? 220 00:08:21,446 --> 00:08:23,757 Steve, your relationship with him is inappropriate. 221 00:08:23,882 --> 00:08:25,359 He-He could be a sexual predator 222 00:08:25,484 --> 00:08:27,361 who wants to make you his next victim. 223 00:08:27,486 --> 00:08:30,196 It happened to me once. The guy was a monster. 224 00:08:30,321 --> 00:08:33,333 He just wrote something really funny on my Facebook wall. 225 00:08:33,458 --> 00:08:35,235 That's how he gets me. 226 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:37,170 He's witty. 227 00:08:37,295 --> 00:08:39,435 It's Alan Rickman. 228 00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:44,544 Uh, no. 229 00:08:44,669 --> 00:08:46,303 Oh, no. 230 00:08:49,541 --> 00:08:52,151 Brian, I'm throwing your ass out for not paying rent. 231 00:08:52,276 --> 00:08:53,553 Look, I'm going to pay. 232 00:08:53,678 --> 00:08:55,955 I've got one of my students working on my finances. 233 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:57,023 A student? 234 00:08:57,148 --> 00:08:58,191 Well, a former student. 235 00:08:58,316 --> 00:08:59,860 I've just been fired. 236 00:08:59,985 --> 00:09:03,062 You lost your job and you've got a teenager handling your money? 237 00:09:03,187 --> 00:09:04,931 Yes, but it's not that much money. 238 00:09:05,056 --> 00:09:06,633 Oh... 239 00:09:06,758 --> 00:09:08,423 Checkmate. 240 00:09:23,708 --> 00:09:25,351 Where's your butt buddy now? 241 00:09:25,476 --> 00:09:27,511 Here, let me get you some hot chocolate. 242 00:09:28,847 --> 00:09:31,958 Keep it down! There's a Galactica marathon on. 243 00:09:32,083 --> 00:09:33,192 Keep it down. 244 00:09:33,317 --> 00:09:35,128 Keep it down. Keep it down. 245 00:09:35,253 --> 00:09:37,196 Keep it down. Keep it down. 246 00:09:37,321 --> 00:09:39,829 I'm not saying anything! 247 00:09:43,662 --> 00:09:45,639 I can't believe we get a whole week here 248 00:09:45,764 --> 00:09:46,873 withouthe kids. 249 00:09:46,998 --> 00:09:48,241 This is why I had children, 250 00:09:48,366 --> 00:09:50,423 so one day, I wouldn't have to be around them. 251 00:09:58,514 --> 00:09:59,986 Is that it? 252 00:10:00,111 --> 00:10:01,922 We've done everything on the map twice. 253 00:10:02,047 --> 00:10:04,390 But this is the biggest water park in the world. 254 00:10:04,515 --> 00:10:05,959 We can't be done already. 255 00:10:06,084 --> 00:10:08,895 Let's see- 50 slides, each about a minute long; 256 00:10:09,020 --> 00:10:10,096 we didn't wait in any lines; 257 00:10:10,221 --> 00:10:11,498 we ran everywhere- 258 00:10:11,623 --> 00:10:12,699 yeah, less than two hours. 259 00:10:12,824 --> 00:10:14,133 Damn it. 260 00:10:14,258 --> 00:10:17,170 All right, well... we could use this orange key 261 00:10:17,295 --> 00:10:19,262 to check on our sneakers. 262 00:10:27,167 --> 00:10:28,181 Roger? 263 00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:31,381 He's home. Just making your after-school snack. 264 00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:33,758 Thought you might like some... No! 265 00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:36,790 No! Oh, God! 266 00:10:36,915 --> 00:10:39,493 Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! 267 00:10:39,618 --> 00:10:40,660 Roger- 268 00:10:40,785 --> 00:10:42,161 My baby! 269 00:10:42,286 --> 00:10:44,364 What happened to you? Who did this? 270 00:10:44,489 --> 00:10:47,133 Who did this to my baby? 271 00:10:47,258 --> 00:10:49,669 The teachers. 272 00:10:49,794 --> 00:10:52,839 They made a circle and they hit me. 273 00:10:52,964 --> 00:10:55,238 Oh, God! 274 00:11:07,879 --> 00:11:10,524 I don't think I can go back to school. 275 00:11:10,649 --> 00:11:12,692 Oh, Steve, you will never, ever 276 00:11:12,817 --> 00:11:15,395 have to worry about those teachers again. 277 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:16,563 See you later, guys. 278 00:11:16,688 --> 00:11:17,764 Have a good one. 279 00:11:17,889 --> 00:11:18,689 See you tomorrow. 280 00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:33,780 Naranjas. Naranjas. 281 00:11:33,905 --> 00:11:36,362 Give me that fruit. 282 00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:41,521 How much? 283 00:11:41,646 --> 00:11:43,890 Ten bucks to see it, 20 bucks to ride it. 284 00:11:44,015 --> 00:11:45,291 No. I meant for the oranges. 285 00:11:45,416 --> 00:11:47,260 Not for sale, bitch. 286 00:11:47,385 --> 00:11:49,386 All right, I'll see it. 287 00:11:51,084 --> 00:11:52,131 What are you doing? 288 00:11:52,256 --> 00:11:53,600 Showing you my butt. 289 00:11:53,725 --> 00:11:56,302 What? You thought those were ding-dong prices? 290 00:11:56,427 --> 00:11:59,218 Nah, nah, nah. 291 00:12:01,094 --> 00:12:03,139 Brian, are you in there? 292 00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:05,302 Oh, no. 293 00:12:09,140 --> 00:12:10,650 Don't ever run off like that! 294 00:12:10,775 --> 00:12:12,251 You scared me half to death! 295 00:12:12,376 --> 00:12:13,649 They evicted Brian. 296 00:12:13,815 --> 00:12:16,152 That's what he deserves for messing with your education. 297 00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:17,657 He was my friend. 298 00:12:17,782 --> 00:12:19,960 I got you a new friend- Freddy. 299 00:12:20,085 --> 00:12:22,328 He likes to drink milk and play games. 300 00:12:22,453 --> 00:12:23,396 Hello. 301 00:12:23,521 --> 00:12:24,664 These are new shorts. 302 00:12:24,789 --> 00:12:26,466 You're taller than me. 303 00:12:26,591 --> 00:12:28,664 Freddy! 304 00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:33,740 Hi. We would like a refund for eight day-passes. 305 00:12:33,865 --> 00:12:36,142 We overestimated how long we'd want to be here. 306 00:12:36,267 --> 00:12:37,911 You have to talk to the manager. 307 00:12:38,036 --> 00:12:39,378 He's not back till Thursday. 308 00:12:39,503 --> 00:12:41,147 I'm sorry, sir. 309 00:12:41,272 --> 00:12:43,449 I really wish there was something I could do. 310 00:12:43,574 --> 00:12:45,785 This guy is the year. 311 00:12:45,910 --> 00:12:47,053 Come on, Francine. 312 00:12:47,178 --> 00:12:49,179 Let's take another run at Splash Canyon. 313 00:12:54,886 --> 00:12:55,962 (tone ringing) 314 00:12:56,087 --> 00:12:57,193 Hello? 315 00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:58,898 Dad, you guys have to come home. 316 00:12:59,023 --> 00:13:01,101 Roger got Principal Lewis fired, and now he's trying 317 00:13:01,226 --> 00:13:03,866 to make me hang out with this nerdy kid named Freddy. 318 00:13:04,032 --> 00:13:06,239 Son, your mother and I are on vacation. 319 00:13:06,364 --> 00:13:07,674 Steve, it's your mom. 320 00:13:07,799 --> 00:13:10,844 Frankly, I'm glad Roger got Principal Lewis fired. 321 00:13:10,969 --> 00:13:13,212 Your friendship with him was getting weird. 322 00:13:13,337 --> 00:13:14,914 I wanted to say something about it, 323 00:13:15,039 --> 00:13:16,850 but I was scared you might tell me 324 00:13:16,975 --> 00:13:18,217 that you two were lovers. 325 00:13:18,342 --> 00:13:20,020 Now stop complaining and go to sleep. 326 00:13:20,145 --> 00:13:22,112 Should be bedtime back there. 327 00:13:26,885 --> 00:13:27,994 Yay! 328 00:13:28,119 --> 00:13:28,962 Shut up! 329 00:13:29,087 --> 00:13:29,929 Yellow slide's for babies. 330 00:13:30,054 --> 00:13:31,727 You're a baby. 331 00:13:33,024 --> 00:13:34,233 Hey, bud, time for bed. 332 00:13:34,358 --> 00:13:36,670 You want a leg rub till you fall asleep? 333 00:13:36,795 --> 00:13:38,538 No. I just want you to go. 334 00:13:38,663 --> 00:13:39,706 Oh, I get it. 335 00:13:39,831 --> 00:13:41,007 You want to pleasure yourself. 336 00:13:41,132 --> 00:13:42,241 Ew! 337 00:13:42,366 --> 00:13:44,577 No "ew. " It's natural, honey. 338 00:13:44,702 --> 00:13:46,079 Shameful and natural. 339 00:13:46,204 --> 00:13:47,547 Just get out! 340 00:13:47,672 --> 00:13:49,649 Good night, you Prince of New England. 341 00:13:49,774 --> 00:13:52,552 You Tom's of Maine. 342 00:13:52,677 --> 00:13:54,721 You want a bedtime song? 343 00:13:54,846 --> 00:13:57,023 ♪ I'm never gonna let you go ♪ 344 00:13:57,148 --> 00:14:01,394 ♪ I'm gonna hold you in my arms forever ♪ 345 00:14:01,519 --> 00:14:06,166 ♪ Gonna try to make up for the times I hurt you so... ♪ 346 00:14:06,291 --> 00:14:08,168 Good-bye, room. Forever. 347 00:14:08,293 --> 00:14:10,103 ♪ Gonna hold your body close to mine ♪ 348 00:14:10,228 --> 00:14:12,271 ♪ From this day on, we're gonna be together ♪ 349 00:14:12,396 --> 00:14:13,773 I'll need these on the road. 350 00:14:13,898 --> 00:14:15,008 God willing, I'll have enough time 351 00:14:15,133 --> 00:14:16,275 to slide them on my attackers. 352 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:17,773 ♪ Oh, I swear this time ♪ 353 00:14:17,939 --> 00:14:21,905 ♪ I'm never gonna let you go. ♪ 354 00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:27,844 Brian! 355 00:14:27,969 --> 00:14:29,046 I'll kill you, Debra! 356 00:14:29,171 --> 00:14:30,347 Oh, Steve. 357 00:14:30,472 --> 00:14:31,815 Oh, thank God. 358 00:14:31,940 --> 00:14:32,983 Thought you were Debra. 359 00:14:33,108 --> 00:14:35,018 What are you doing out at this hour? 360 00:14:35,143 --> 00:14:36,920 My legal guardian was killing me. 361 00:14:37,045 --> 00:14:38,755 I can't be in that house anymore. 362 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:40,457 It's all his fault you got evicted. 363 00:14:40,582 --> 00:14:41,925 Oh, I'm past that, Steve. 364 00:14:42,050 --> 00:14:44,127 I'm gonna hit the road, get out of town, 365 00:14:44,252 --> 00:14:45,695 eat some of these oranges. 366 00:14:45,820 --> 00:14:47,030 It totally sucks here! 367 00:14:47,155 --> 00:14:48,498 Let me come with you. 368 00:14:48,623 --> 00:14:49,805 Yeah, sure. 369 00:14:49,971 --> 00:14:52,093 Get down! 370 00:14:54,559 --> 00:14:57,007 Lew-Lew! 371 00:14:57,132 --> 00:14:59,042 I ain't mad at you. 372 00:14:59,167 --> 00:15:02,769 I just want to talk to you. 373 00:15:12,881 --> 00:15:14,258 Oklahoma?! 374 00:15:14,383 --> 00:15:16,493 Wow! How long was I asleep? 375 00:15:16,618 --> 00:15:18,896 Steve, I'll be perfectly honest. 376 00:15:19,021 --> 00:15:20,998 I thought you were awake this whole time. 377 00:15:21,123 --> 00:15:22,632 I told you my life story. 378 00:15:22,757 --> 00:15:24,401 Hell, I told you about my stepmom. 379 00:15:24,526 --> 00:15:26,236 Thought you were in a stunned silence 380 00:15:26,361 --> 00:15:28,462 that somebody could do that to a child. 381 00:15:30,032 --> 00:15:31,975 Man, I can't wait till we get to... 382 00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:33,310 Wait- where are we going? 383 00:15:33,435 --> 00:15:34,934 The Grand Canyon. 384 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,914 Ooh, I'll have freedom out there. 385 00:15:37,039 --> 00:15:38,515 No one making me eat healthy 386 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,023 and tickling my back even when I don't want it. 387 00:15:41,189 --> 00:15:42,352 That's not right. 388 00:15:42,477 --> 00:15:45,055 Now, a grown black man and a young white boy 389 00:15:45,180 --> 00:15:47,881 driving cross country- that feels right. 390 00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:53,797 Now that there- that is sick. 391 00:15:53,922 --> 00:15:55,799 Y'all got a lot of nerve! 392 00:15:55,924 --> 00:15:58,040 This is a public road! 393 00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:03,440 Officer, he's not in the house, he's not answering his phone. 394 00:16:03,565 --> 00:16:04,774 I'm his guardian. 395 00:16:04,899 --> 00:16:06,609 If anything happens to him, I'm responsible... 396 00:16:06,734 --> 00:16:07,883 Calm down? 397 00:16:08,049 --> 00:16:09,212 Calm down?! 398 00:16:09,337 --> 00:16:10,504 Okay. 399 00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:17,854 He was exactly right. 400 00:16:17,979 --> 00:16:20,563 That was good advice. 401 00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:21,891 So, I was thinking 402 00:16:22,016 --> 00:16:24,061 about how we could make a living in Arizona. 403 00:16:24,186 --> 00:16:25,262 I will be a dancer. 404 00:16:25,387 --> 00:16:26,787 What are your skills, Brian? 405 00:16:28,923 --> 00:16:30,500 Oh, Steve. 406 00:16:30,625 --> 00:16:32,700 We're not going to Arizona to live together. 407 00:16:32,866 --> 00:16:35,661 We're going there to die together. 408 00:16:35,827 --> 00:16:37,640 Uh... pardon me? 409 00:16:37,765 --> 00:16:39,742 I've got nothing left to live for, Steve. 410 00:16:39,867 --> 00:16:43,169 Which is why I'm driving us straight into thGrand Canyon. 411 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:46,116 Suicide, bitch! 412 00:16:46,241 --> 00:16:47,941 Canyon style! 413 00:16:51,259 --> 00:16:52,622 Tickets! Tickets! 414 00:16:52,747 --> 00:16:53,679 Extra tickets. 415 00:16:53,845 --> 00:16:55,725 This place is totally screwing us. 416 00:16:55,850 --> 00:16:58,795 Yeah, well, they're not the only ones who can do the screwing. 417 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:00,063 I beg your pardon? 418 00:17:00,188 --> 00:17:01,898 Their stupid water park screws us, 419 00:17:02,023 --> 00:17:05,402 we do the same thing... to each other. 420 00:17:05,527 --> 00:17:08,671 And we do it in there, on the biggest slide they got. 421 00:17:08,796 --> 00:17:10,807 Of course that's what we do. 422 00:17:10,932 --> 00:17:13,143 That's brilliant! 423 00:17:13,268 --> 00:17:14,811 Dan? 424 00:17:14,936 --> 00:17:16,646 Dan! 425 00:17:16,771 --> 00:17:18,882 Don't tell my wife where I am. 426 00:17:19,007 --> 00:17:24,085 She's the biggest bitch in the universe! 427 00:17:26,648 --> 00:17:27,957 Freddy, I can't find Steve. 428 00:17:28,082 --> 00:17:30,060 I haven't seen him since you introduced us. 429 00:17:30,185 --> 00:17:31,628 This is all your fault, Frederick. 430 00:17:31,753 --> 00:17:33,096 You were his approved friend. 431 00:17:33,221 --> 00:17:35,798 You're supposed to watch out for him when I'm not around. 432 00:17:35,923 --> 00:17:37,057 You're supposed to... 433 00:17:39,594 --> 00:17:41,018 Don't do that, man. 434 00:17:41,184 --> 00:17:43,240 Look, Steve left because you smother him. 435 00:17:43,365 --> 00:17:46,376 I'm a good kid because my parents allow me the freedom 436 00:17:46,501 --> 00:17:47,577 to be myself. 437 00:17:47,702 --> 00:17:49,979 Can you imagine how nervous they must have been 438 00:17:50,104 --> 00:17:52,196 when I said I was hanging out with you? 439 00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:55,366 I suppose I am a dangerous, aggressive stranger. 440 00:17:55,532 --> 00:17:57,220 They let me make my own mistakes, 441 00:17:57,345 --> 00:18:00,121 but I know they're always there when I need them. 442 00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:02,859 Damn it, Freddy, I've been a fool. 443 00:18:02,984 --> 00:18:04,961 It's not enough to love your kid. 444 00:18:05,086 --> 00:18:07,164 You have to love 'em the right way. 445 00:18:07,289 --> 00:18:08,998 I know what I have to do. 446 00:18:09,123 --> 00:18:11,234 I just hope I can find Steve in time. 447 00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:12,436 Well, I'm glad that... 448 00:18:12,561 --> 00:18:15,136 Be glad about that. 449 00:18:17,929 --> 00:18:18,975 Okay, here's the plan. 450 00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:20,477 You go down first and wait 451 00:18:20,602 --> 00:18:22,079 at the bottom in a ready position. 452 00:18:22,204 --> 00:18:24,347 I'm gonna come down after you, and by the time 453 00:18:24,472 --> 00:18:26,550 I get to the bottom, I'll be ready to go. 454 00:18:26,675 --> 00:18:28,642 I'll be there to receive you. 455 00:18:30,483 --> 00:18:32,446 ♪ ♪ 456 00:18:36,017 --> 00:18:37,908 I'm coming in too hot! Move back! 457 00:18:38,074 --> 00:18:39,785 What?! 458 00:18:39,951 --> 00:18:40,887 Stan, slow down! 459 00:18:47,375 --> 00:18:50,340 Brian, I don't want to die in the Grand Canyon. 460 00:18:50,465 --> 00:18:52,065 Please! I thought we were friends. 461 00:18:53,301 --> 00:18:54,444 You thought I let you 462 00:18:54,569 --> 00:18:56,413 in the teacher's lounge because I like you? 463 00:18:56,538 --> 00:18:58,248 You were my accountant, Steve. 464 00:18:58,373 --> 00:19:00,183 Roger was right. 465 00:19:00,308 --> 00:19:02,892 Ah, and there she is. 466 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:13,152 Roger! 467 00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:15,237 You! How did you find us? 468 00:19:15,403 --> 00:19:16,399 It was simple. 469 00:19:16,524 --> 00:19:18,168 When you love someone hard enough, 470 00:19:18,293 --> 00:19:20,117 you always know where they are. 471 00:19:20,283 --> 00:19:21,838 That can't possibly be true. 472 00:19:21,963 --> 00:19:23,440 Roger, thank God! 473 00:19:23,565 --> 00:19:24,741 I want to go home! 474 00:19:24,866 --> 00:19:26,143 I can't do that, Steve. 475 00:19:26,268 --> 00:19:28,111 You see this gun I'm pointing at you? 476 00:19:28,236 --> 00:19:30,113 That's what I've been doing this whole week- 477 00:19:30,238 --> 00:19:31,615 holding you hostage. 478 00:19:31,740 --> 00:19:33,339 Well, not anymore. 479 00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:34,784 What?! No! 480 00:19:34,909 --> 00:19:37,426 Principal Lewis is gonna drive off the Grand Canyon! 481 00:19:37,592 --> 00:19:39,088 You'll be fine, Steve. 482 00:19:39,213 --> 00:19:41,625 I came here to tell you, you'll be fine. 483 00:19:41,750 --> 00:19:44,099 And I'll be supporting you all the way. 484 00:19:44,265 --> 00:19:45,428 Shoot Principal Lewis now! 485 00:19:45,553 --> 00:19:47,597 I love you way too much for that. 486 00:19:47,722 --> 00:19:48,889 See ya, sucker! 487 00:19:50,855 --> 00:19:51,768 Good-bye, bad credit! 488 00:19:51,893 --> 00:19:54,735 Oh, my God! 489 00:19:58,199 --> 00:19:59,276 I don't believe it. 490 00:19:59,401 --> 00:20:01,909 Roger's love is keeping us aloft. 491 00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:04,829 We're gonna make it. 492 00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,816 So long, junk mail! 493 00:20:06,941 --> 00:20:08,207 Wait. What? 494 00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:16,793 Steve, I'm so sorry. 495 00:20:16,918 --> 00:20:18,761 I never meant for you to get hurt. 496 00:20:18,886 --> 00:20:20,497 I'm a terrible legal guardian. 497 00:20:20,622 --> 00:20:22,763 You are the worst legal guardian. 498 00:20:22,929 --> 00:20:24,434 I'm sorry, too, Steve. 499 00:20:24,559 --> 00:20:26,403 Surviving that crash made me reize, 500 00:20:26,528 --> 00:20:29,639 I'm on this earth for a reason- to shape young minds. 501 00:20:29,764 --> 00:20:32,542 I'm gonna get my job back as principal, 502 00:20:32,667 --> 00:20:35,276 and this time, I'm gonna do everything right. 503 00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:37,214 Time for your bath, Mr. Lewis? 504 00:20:37,339 --> 00:20:38,715 Please. 505 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:40,584 Mr. Lewis was my father. 506 00:20:40,709 --> 00:20:43,877 Call me Chocolate Dinosaur. 507 00:20:44,912 --> 00:20:46,620 Dad! Mom! 508 00:20:46,786 --> 00:20:48,658 Steve! Roger! 509 00:20:48,783 --> 00:20:50,159 What the hell is going on? 510 00:20:50,284 --> 00:20:51,728 Well, it looks like you tried 511 00:20:51,853 --> 00:20:53,330 to slingshot yourself into Francine. 512 00:20:53,455 --> 00:20:54,503 Didn't you, Stan? 513 00:20:54,669 --> 00:20:56,630 I came in too hot. 514 00:20:56,796 --> 00:20:58,535 This is the worst day of my life. 515 00:20:58,660 --> 00:21:00,551 Well, you're not getting your morphine back. 516 00:21:00,717 --> 00:21:01,838 Roger, give it back! 517 00:21:01,963 --> 00:21:03,139 Don't be such a jerk! 518 00:21:03,264 --> 00:21:04,341 God, I'm sick of you! 519 00:21:04,466 --> 00:21:05,709 Come on! Give it! Freddy! 520 00:21:05,834 --> 00:21:07,568 Damn it, Roger, come on! 521 00:21:10,843 --> 00:21:12,716 Freddy. 522 00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:15,064 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com