1 00:00:00,747 --> 00:00:03,540 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:03,660 --> 00:00:05,800 ♪ Good morning, USA! ♪ 3 00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:09,638 ♪ I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 4 00:00:09,798 --> 00:00:12,635 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 5 00:00:12,755 --> 00:00:16,858 ♪ And he's shining a salute to the American race ♪ 6 00:00:19,098 --> 00:00:22,395 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 7 00:00:22,515 --> 00:00:24,213 ♪ Good... ♪ ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 8 00:00:24,333 --> 00:00:25,667 Aah! 9 00:00:27,169 --> 00:00:30,338 ♪ Good morning, USA! ♪ 10 00:00:36,822 --> 00:00:38,354 Attention, everyone. 11 00:00:38,474 --> 00:00:40,522 As you all know, there has been an alien 12 00:00:40,642 --> 00:00:42,374 on the loose for quite some time now. 13 00:00:42,494 --> 00:00:44,143 I've checked my house. He's not in my house. 14 00:00:44,263 --> 00:00:45,632 Good work, Smith. 15 00:00:45,792 --> 00:00:48,130 Still, the search could use a little boost. 16 00:00:48,250 --> 00:00:51,383 Everyone, meet freelance alien bounty hunter, 17 00:00:51,503 --> 00:00:52,968 Shannon Sharpe. 18 00:00:53,088 --> 00:00:54,303 Glad to be aboard. 19 00:00:54,423 --> 00:00:56,017 Shannon Sharpe? The football guy? 20 00:00:56,177 --> 00:00:57,973 Yeah. I hunt aliens now. 21 00:00:58,093 --> 00:01:00,647 Used to catch TDs; now I catch ETs. 22 00:01:00,896 --> 00:01:02,315 You ever caught an alien, Shannon? 23 00:01:02,531 --> 00:01:03,679 Not yet, Mr. Question, 24 00:01:03,799 --> 00:01:05,547 but I'll let you know when I do. 25 00:01:05,667 --> 00:01:07,199 Anyone with any helpful information 26 00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:09,969 should report it to Shannon Sharpe immediately. 27 00:01:10,089 --> 00:01:12,534 Let's bring in this damn alien once and for all. 28 00:01:12,694 --> 00:01:14,173 Yes! Let's bring it in! 29 00:01:14,293 --> 00:01:15,974 I want to bring it in so bad! 30 00:01:19,098 --> 00:01:21,447 You are a complicated man, Smith. 31 00:01:21,567 --> 00:01:24,254 I would love to do mushrooms with you. 32 00:01:29,335 --> 00:01:30,885 Oh, no! I overslept! 33 00:01:32,088 --> 00:01:34,013 Oh, no! I'm out of undies! 34 00:01:35,214 --> 00:01:37,142 Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. 35 00:01:42,704 --> 00:01:44,036 Thanks for holding the bus, Judy. 36 00:01:46,141 --> 00:01:47,839 I overslept. 37 00:01:47,959 --> 00:01:50,321 I didn't even get to study for my test today. 38 00:01:51,814 --> 00:01:53,896 Steve, what the hell are you wearing? 39 00:01:54,016 --> 00:01:56,682 Ah, man. I must have grabbed a pair 40 00:01:56,802 --> 00:01:58,400 of Hayley's underwear from the dryer. 41 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:00,069 This day can't get any worse! 42 00:02:00,189 --> 00:02:01,704 Those are Hayley's? 43 00:02:01,824 --> 00:02:03,188 Let me smell them. 44 00:02:03,308 --> 00:02:04,657 Snot, we're on the bus. 45 00:02:04,777 --> 00:02:06,659 I'm not going to take them off. 46 00:02:06,779 --> 00:02:08,631 That's not what I asked. 47 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,415 Thanks for meeting me here between classes. 48 00:02:13,535 --> 00:02:14,650 No problem. 49 00:02:14,770 --> 00:02:16,685 You doing the Nigerian medical student? 50 00:02:16,805 --> 00:02:18,687 Yep. First one in my village 51 00:02:18,807 --> 00:02:20,143 to pretend to become a doctor. 52 00:02:20,375 --> 00:02:22,941 Listen, the CIA's getting serious about finding you. 53 00:02:23,061 --> 00:02:25,273 You need to be extra careful with your disguises. 54 00:02:25,433 --> 00:02:26,628 Don't worry, Stan. 55 00:02:26,748 --> 00:02:29,431 I commit to my personas down to the last detail. 56 00:02:29,551 --> 00:02:32,468 By the way, I just inherited U.S. $22 million, 57 00:02:32,588 --> 00:02:34,436 of which I'll give you 45% 58 00:02:34,556 --> 00:02:36,638 if you can just wire me the taxes up front. 59 00:02:36,758 --> 00:02:38,509 Thanks. 60 00:02:41,380 --> 00:02:43,833 Oh, my God. Scarlett Reynolds. 61 00:02:44,082 --> 00:02:45,864 We were in CIA boot camp together. 62 00:02:45,984 --> 00:02:47,533 I haven't seen her in 20 years. 63 00:02:47,653 --> 00:02:50,071 Oh, my God! Coffee and a story. 64 00:02:51,990 --> 00:02:54,594 Man, was I in love. 65 00:02:58,013 --> 00:02:59,895 We were inseparable. 66 00:03:04,753 --> 00:03:07,899 It was the most romantic time of my life. 67 00:03:20,485 --> 00:03:22,534 Wow, Stan. That's amazing. 68 00:03:22,654 --> 00:03:23,936 Why did you guys break up? 69 00:03:24,056 --> 00:03:25,204 Oh, none of that was real. 70 00:03:25,324 --> 00:03:26,538 We were at boot camp together, 71 00:03:26,658 --> 00:03:28,140 but everything else was just a fantasy. 72 00:03:28,260 --> 00:03:29,875 Come on. Penguins don't have nipples. 73 00:03:29,995 --> 00:03:32,111 Anyway, I never worked up the courage 74 00:03:32,231 --> 00:03:33,424 to tell her I liked her. 75 00:03:33,699 --> 00:03:35,468 I can't say I blame you, Staniel. 76 00:03:35,628 --> 00:03:36,882 She's a looker. 77 00:03:37,002 --> 00:03:38,680 I think I'm going to ask her out. 78 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:40,119 You?! 79 00:03:40,239 --> 00:03:42,621 You three-foot-tall, gray, disgusting piece of (bleep)! 80 00:03:42,741 --> 00:03:44,156 Scarlett's an angel. 81 00:03:44,276 --> 00:03:45,357 You're a pig. 82 00:03:45,477 --> 00:03:46,646 She would never go for you. 83 00:03:46,806 --> 00:03:48,794 Listen, you, that hurts. 84 00:03:48,914 --> 00:03:51,613 I like to think of myself as a pretty strong person, 85 00:03:51,733 --> 00:03:53,862 but you... you cracked it. 86 00:03:54,022 --> 00:03:55,937 Congratulations. 87 00:03:59,241 --> 00:04:01,375 Scones here are super flaky. 88 00:04:03,656 --> 00:04:05,394 Stan? 89 00:04:05,514 --> 00:04:06,895 Stan Smith? 90 00:04:07,015 --> 00:04:08,564 Who's there? Who's that? 91 00:04:08,684 --> 00:04:11,033 Scarlett Reynolds, from CIA boot camp. 92 00:04:11,153 --> 00:04:13,756 Oh, my God! 93 00:04:14,039 --> 00:04:15,854 What are you doing here? 94 00:04:15,974 --> 00:04:17,856 I'm in town on business. 95 00:04:17,976 --> 00:04:20,192 Are you still working at the CIA? 96 00:04:20,312 --> 00:04:21,877 Hardly working, or am I hard? 97 00:04:21,997 --> 00:04:23,078 I'm hard. How are you? 98 00:04:23,198 --> 00:04:25,547 Great. I left the agency after boot camp, 99 00:04:25,667 --> 00:04:27,683 and now I work in the private sector. 100 00:04:27,803 --> 00:04:29,168 Privates! 101 00:04:29,288 --> 00:04:31,170 You look great. 102 00:04:31,290 --> 00:04:33,188 We've got to catch up. 103 00:04:33,308 --> 00:04:34,673 Yes. Yes. 104 00:04:34,793 --> 00:04:36,141 Come over for dinner. 105 00:04:36,261 --> 00:04:38,327 I'm married, but most people get divorced these days. 106 00:04:43,018 --> 00:04:44,183 Come on. 107 00:04:44,303 --> 00:04:47,018 Ooh, yeah, here we are. 108 00:04:47,138 --> 00:04:48,541 Damn it! 109 00:04:49,925 --> 00:04:51,557 Klaus, I just had the luckiest day. 110 00:04:51,677 --> 00:04:54,993 My hair was perfect, we had French bread pizza at lunch, 111 00:04:55,113 --> 00:04:57,846 and the old black janitor said to me, and I quote, 112 00:04:57,966 --> 00:05:00,833 "You lookin' fly. Go get it now." 113 00:05:00,953 --> 00:05:03,035 Hard to believe the day turned out so great, 114 00:05:03,155 --> 00:05:04,369 considering it started with me 115 00:05:04,489 --> 00:05:06,038 accidentally putting on Hayley's panties. 116 00:05:06,158 --> 00:05:07,539 Hold up. 117 00:05:07,659 --> 00:05:10,409 Have you considered those might be lucky panties? 118 00:05:10,529 --> 00:05:12,978 What, like The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, 119 00:05:13,098 --> 00:05:14,613 but with panties instead of pants 120 00:05:14,733 --> 00:05:16,348 and me instead of Tibby Rollins? 121 00:05:16,468 --> 00:05:18,383 Ugh. Why do you say stuff like that, man? 122 00:05:18,503 --> 00:05:21,620 Look, all I'm saying is, lucky clothes are a thing. 123 00:05:21,740 --> 00:05:24,075 If you don't believe me, test them out. 124 00:05:31,967 --> 00:05:35,463 Lucky panties! 125 00:05:38,223 --> 00:05:39,738 I hope Scarlett likes our flatware. 126 00:05:39,858 --> 00:05:41,123 Why wouldn't she? 127 00:05:41,243 --> 00:05:42,608 'Cause it sucks, Francine! 128 00:05:42,728 --> 00:05:44,013 We have terrible flatware! 129 00:05:44,296 --> 00:05:45,577 Stan, calm down. 130 00:05:45,697 --> 00:05:46,945 You're so nervous. 131 00:05:47,065 --> 00:05:48,881 Wouldn't you be if the love of your life 132 00:05:49,001 --> 00:05:50,249 was about to walk through that door? 133 00:05:50,369 --> 00:05:51,917 The love of your life? 134 00:05:52,037 --> 00:05:53,752 This girl made my knees weak, 135 00:05:53,872 --> 00:05:55,504 my palms sweaty, my butt leak. 136 00:05:55,624 --> 00:05:57,276 You ever felt that way, Francine? 137 00:05:57,542 --> 00:06:00,655 Stan, my feelings are starting to get hurt. 138 00:06:00,929 --> 00:06:03,228 You know what? You're making me not want to tell you things. 139 00:06:19,931 --> 00:06:21,843 Open it. 140 00:06:24,536 --> 00:06:27,348 So, Scarlett, is there a man in your life? 141 00:06:27,572 --> 00:06:28,887 Or a woman? 142 00:06:29,007 --> 00:06:31,310 Or a big blue ma-ma-ma-ma-ma friend? 143 00:06:31,470 --> 00:06:33,125 Nah. I'm still single. 144 00:06:33,245 --> 00:06:35,027 I guess I just haven't found the one. 145 00:06:35,147 --> 00:06:36,728 Hey! Hey, you're available. 146 00:06:36,848 --> 00:06:38,730 And I'm not. What a world. 147 00:06:38,850 --> 00:06:40,782 What a horrible world. 148 00:06:40,902 --> 00:06:43,552 Whew, I think I'm getting dizzy from your wine. 149 00:06:43,672 --> 00:06:45,954 I think I'm getting dizzy from your fine. 150 00:06:48,794 --> 00:06:51,205 Oh, for God's sake. 151 00:06:52,564 --> 00:06:53,845 I'm going to go... 152 00:06:53,965 --> 00:06:56,782 Doesn't matter... you're not paying any attention. 153 00:06:56,902 --> 00:06:58,250 I don't know. Surprise me. 154 00:06:58,370 --> 00:06:59,338 Ugh. 155 00:06:59,571 --> 00:07:02,341 You ever wish someone you know would die? 156 00:07:02,674 --> 00:07:06,325 ♪ Wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend ♪ 157 00:07:06,445 --> 00:07:07,960 You would... 158 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:11,229 ♪ You could cut ties with all the lies ♪ 159 00:07:11,349 --> 00:07:13,565 ♪ That you've been living in ♪ 160 00:07:13,685 --> 00:07:18,036 ♪ And if you do not want to see me again ♪ 161 00:07:18,156 --> 00:07:19,972 ♪ I would understa... ♪ 162 00:07:20,092 --> 00:07:21,073 I'm sorry. 163 00:07:21,193 --> 00:07:22,040 ♪ Ah... ♪ 164 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:23,275 Just a second. I... 165 00:07:23,395 --> 00:07:24,609 ♪ Ah. ♪ 166 00:07:24,729 --> 00:07:26,078 What? 167 00:07:26,198 --> 00:07:29,619 You wouldn't believe what a D-bag Stan is being. 168 00:07:29,918 --> 00:07:32,634 He's got his old boot camp crush down there. 169 00:07:32,754 --> 00:07:35,237 Those two are stuck on each other like gum 170 00:07:35,357 --> 00:07:38,086 on a hot summer sidewalk on a summer afternoon. 171 00:07:39,227 --> 00:07:40,542 I'm sorry. 172 00:07:40,662 --> 00:07:42,444 I'm taking a creative writing class, 173 00:07:42,564 --> 00:07:44,479 and I can't turn it off. 174 00:07:44,599 --> 00:07:46,581 Like a fire hydrant, 175 00:07:46,701 --> 00:07:49,651 gushing onto a hot summer sidewalk. 176 00:07:49,771 --> 00:07:52,354 My words cascading, 177 00:07:52,474 --> 00:07:56,158 like water onto a hot summer sidewalk. 178 00:07:56,278 --> 00:08:00,429 A cat skitters by, each step a relief, 179 00:08:00,549 --> 00:08:03,111 cooling its paws 180 00:08:03,271 --> 00:08:06,781 from the hot summer sidewalk. 181 00:08:07,956 --> 00:08:09,571 Oh, I know all about Scarlett. 182 00:08:09,691 --> 00:08:12,908 Your bastard husband told me I was too disgusting to get her. 183 00:08:13,028 --> 00:08:15,177 I was so upset, I ate a donut. 184 00:08:15,297 --> 00:08:17,179 That's why I skipped dinner. 185 00:08:17,299 --> 00:08:19,047 I got a pizza coming. 186 00:08:19,167 --> 00:08:21,671 So many toppings. 187 00:08:21,831 --> 00:08:23,435 God, I'm pissed at Stan. 188 00:08:23,555 --> 00:08:25,842 He needs to be taken down a peg. 189 00:08:26,141 --> 00:08:28,690 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 190 00:08:28,810 --> 00:08:30,225 All the time, bitch. Good. 191 00:08:30,345 --> 00:08:32,527 So you'll interrupt this dinner 192 00:08:32,647 --> 00:08:35,434 dressed in your most charming, irresistible persona. 193 00:08:35,594 --> 00:08:37,687 Dan Andsome-Handsome. 194 00:08:37,953 --> 00:08:39,701 No woman can resist him. 195 00:08:39,821 --> 00:08:41,136 Whoo! 196 00:08:41,256 --> 00:08:43,572 Just hearing his name makes me hot. 197 00:08:43,692 --> 00:08:47,075 Like a hot summer sidewalk. 198 00:08:47,195 --> 00:08:49,544 An ice cream man saunters... 199 00:08:49,664 --> 00:08:50,867 Okay. 200 00:08:53,668 --> 00:08:55,250 Okay, Scarlett, this is ten quarters. 201 00:08:55,370 --> 00:08:57,319 If I can do it, you have to kiss me. 202 00:08:57,439 --> 00:08:58,887 Okay, one more time. 203 00:08:59,007 --> 00:09:00,741 - One more time. - Sorry I'm late. 204 00:09:09,618 --> 00:09:12,221 Name's Dan Andsome-Handsome. 205 00:09:12,437 --> 00:09:14,870 You're the most stunning woman I've ever seen. 206 00:09:14,990 --> 00:09:18,125 Uh... I'm Scarlett. 207 00:09:19,694 --> 00:09:22,244 Mmm. 208 00:09:22,364 --> 00:09:25,580 Let me take you out, show you my Langley Falls. 209 00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:27,048 Uh, Dan, I... 210 00:09:27,168 --> 00:09:28,984 I hardly think Scarlett's going to have time to... 211 00:09:29,104 --> 00:09:30,671 I'd love to. 212 00:09:32,274 --> 00:09:34,189 All right, Stan, don't make a scene. 213 00:09:34,309 --> 00:09:36,829 Just say something witty and exit on the laugh. 214 00:09:36,989 --> 00:09:38,762 So jealous! 215 00:09:43,031 --> 00:09:45,026 Bye, Scarlett. Drive safe. 216 00:09:45,146 --> 00:09:46,110 Great night. Wonderful night. 217 00:09:46,230 --> 00:09:47,295 What the hell are you doing? 218 00:09:47,415 --> 00:09:48,880 Farting off part of that dinner. 219 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,832 - What are you doing? - You know what I'm talking about! 220 00:09:50,952 --> 00:09:52,100 Pretty simple, really... you told me 221 00:09:52,220 --> 00:09:54,202 I couldn't get her, so I'm going to get her. 222 00:09:54,322 --> 00:09:55,598 Naked. 223 00:09:55,758 --> 00:09:57,071 All right, I-I was wrong. 224 00:09:57,191 --> 00:09:59,518 You can get her, but don't. Any girl but her. 225 00:09:59,678 --> 00:10:01,309 You can't keep two girls on lockdown. 226 00:10:01,429 --> 00:10:02,794 You already got Francine. 227 00:10:02,914 --> 00:10:05,313 If you want to let her go, then I'll back off Scarlett. 228 00:10:05,433 --> 00:10:06,781 Of course, then, I'll plow Francine. 229 00:10:06,901 --> 00:10:08,483 I'd let him, too. 230 00:10:08,603 --> 00:10:11,853 Dan Andsome-Handsome gives me quite the wide-on. 231 00:10:11,973 --> 00:10:14,574 Ah... oh... 232 00:10:14,735 --> 00:10:15,910 But my fantasy girl. 233 00:10:16,070 --> 00:10:17,592 Stan, you have no right 234 00:10:17,712 --> 00:10:19,294 to interfere with Roger's love life. 235 00:10:19,414 --> 00:10:21,462 Look, Stan, you're married. You're out of the running. 236 00:10:21,582 --> 00:10:24,232 And I think we both agree that it's not all right 237 00:10:24,352 --> 00:10:27,402 for a girl like that to go a day without a crispy pickle. 238 00:10:27,522 --> 00:10:29,337 Fine. 239 00:10:29,457 --> 00:10:30,838 I won't interfere. 240 00:10:30,958 --> 00:10:33,074 Oh, well, I'm sorry you're stuck with me. 241 00:10:33,194 --> 00:10:34,726 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 242 00:10:34,846 --> 00:10:36,377 Honey, no, no, don't... don't do that. 243 00:10:36,497 --> 00:10:39,475 It's not all your fault. We both said, "I do." 244 00:10:44,622 --> 00:10:46,354 All right, lucky panties. 245 00:10:46,474 --> 00:10:48,608 Work your sateen magic. 246 00:11:17,155 --> 00:11:19,932 Ho-ho, easy on the tush, fellas, hey. 247 00:11:21,385 --> 00:11:22,807 Wh-Wh-Who took my panties, 248 00:11:22,927 --> 00:11:25,310 m-my women's panties th-that I was wearing? 249 00:11:25,430 --> 00:11:28,165 Has anyone seen my women's panties that I was wearing?! 250 00:11:29,310 --> 00:11:31,015 Snot. 251 00:11:31,135 --> 00:11:34,118 Without those lucky panties, who knows what could happen? 252 00:11:34,238 --> 00:11:36,421 Eh, maybe I'm just being silly. 253 00:11:36,541 --> 00:11:37,422 Ow. 254 00:11:37,542 --> 00:11:38,951 A syringe? 255 00:11:39,111 --> 00:11:40,475 Oops, I should be more careful. 256 00:11:40,595 --> 00:11:41,843 I need that. 257 00:11:41,963 --> 00:11:44,664 I share it with everyone. 258 00:11:47,036 --> 00:11:48,294 What looks good to you? 259 00:11:48,454 --> 00:11:49,534 Don't do that. 260 00:11:49,654 --> 00:11:52,136 You know exactly what looks good... 261 00:11:53,574 --> 00:11:57,041 ... your cans and your toilet. 262 00:11:58,996 --> 00:12:03,784 What do you say we skip dinner and go straight to dessert? 263 00:12:06,003 --> 00:12:09,520 You... whore. 264 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:10,888 Dessert sounds great. 265 00:12:11,008 --> 00:12:12,924 Stan, what are you doing here? 266 00:12:13,044 --> 00:12:14,809 Thought I'd treat you kids to dessert. 267 00:12:14,929 --> 00:12:16,611 Let's see what we got here. 268 00:12:16,731 --> 00:12:18,279 We can eliminate everything with dairy 269 00:12:18,399 --> 00:12:20,782 because it gives this guy the green apple splatters. 270 00:12:20,902 --> 00:12:22,517 Um, Stan, I'm not so sure that... 271 00:12:22,637 --> 00:12:24,051 Oh, right, we shouldn't share forks 272 00:12:24,171 --> 00:12:25,703 because of your rampant mouth VD. 273 00:12:25,823 --> 00:12:26,904 So maybe skip dessert 274 00:12:27,024 --> 00:12:28,940 and each of us go to our separate homes? 275 00:12:29,060 --> 00:12:30,628 May I have a word with you? 276 00:12:30,913 --> 00:12:32,143 You said you weren't going to interfere. 277 00:12:32,263 --> 00:12:34,612 Yeah, I also said I love to spend time with my kids. 278 00:12:34,732 --> 00:12:36,414 Look, there's no way I'm letting you ruin 279 00:12:36,534 --> 00:12:38,844 my fantasy of Scarlett by having sex with her. 280 00:12:39,004 --> 00:12:40,101 Are you challenging me? 281 00:12:40,221 --> 00:12:41,736 Are you a challenger? 282 00:12:41,856 --> 00:12:43,838 Are you challenging me to make a Challenger joke? 283 00:12:43,958 --> 00:12:45,623 Because it's too soon and too sad 284 00:12:45,743 --> 00:12:47,191 and I really don't have a good one. 285 00:12:47,311 --> 00:12:49,594 I'm taking you home right now and locking you in the attic. 286 00:13:10,703 --> 00:13:12,800 Yo, nerds, any of you seen an alien? 287 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:14,235 No, we're looking for panties. 288 00:13:14,355 --> 00:13:16,089 Oh, we're all looking for stuff. 289 00:13:19,443 --> 00:13:23,161 Hey, panty thief, give me my panties back! 290 00:13:23,281 --> 00:13:24,245 Never! 291 00:13:24,365 --> 00:13:26,733 I love them so much! 292 00:13:28,903 --> 00:13:29,801 Damn it. 293 00:13:29,921 --> 00:13:31,105 Anybody got any ideas? 294 00:13:31,265 --> 00:13:32,236 I got one. 295 00:13:33,357 --> 00:13:36,610 Now, how do we market it? 296 00:13:42,783 --> 00:13:45,299 Welco-Welcome home, space lothario. 297 00:13:45,419 --> 00:13:47,001 You might have slept with Scarlett, 298 00:13:47,121 --> 00:13:48,436 but I'm wearing your robe. 299 00:13:48,556 --> 00:13:49,537 Ha! 300 00:13:49,657 --> 00:13:51,372 Hey, that's my pooping robe. 301 00:13:51,492 --> 00:13:53,419 I can tell by all the poop on the edges. 302 00:13:53,579 --> 00:13:54,809 And while I'm being candid, 303 00:13:54,929 --> 00:13:57,756 I did not make the acquaintance of Scarlett's insides. 304 00:13:57,916 --> 00:13:59,964 Ha, she wouldn't let you sleep with her, huh? 305 00:14:00,084 --> 00:14:01,010 Attagirl. 306 00:14:01,170 --> 00:14:03,000 Oh, no, she was begging me for it, 307 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:04,802 but I decided it wasn't quite the right setting. 308 00:14:04,922 --> 00:14:05,848 Setting? 309 00:14:06,008 --> 00:14:07,972 You know your ski chalet fantasy? 310 00:14:08,092 --> 00:14:09,574 That's where I want to do it. 311 00:14:09,694 --> 00:14:12,510 I want to take your dream girl into your dream setting 312 00:14:12,630 --> 00:14:14,356 and plow her in real life. 313 00:14:14,516 --> 00:14:15,680 You wouldn't. 314 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,215 Oh, but I would. 315 00:14:17,335 --> 00:14:19,417 I'm gonna do it like this. 316 00:14:19,537 --> 00:14:20,551 And then I'm gonna do it like this. 317 00:14:21,772 --> 00:14:23,070 And then it's her turn. 318 00:14:23,190 --> 00:14:26,459 A-boom-boom-boom-boom- boom-boom-boom-boom-boom. 319 00:14:31,867 --> 00:14:34,782 Shannon Sharpe, sharpening a machete, 320 00:14:34,902 --> 00:14:37,270 gonna catch an alien and eat some spaghetti. 321 00:14:40,925 --> 00:14:43,407 Hold on, spaghetti, I got to get that. 322 00:14:43,527 --> 00:14:44,859 Shannon Sharpe? 323 00:14:44,979 --> 00:14:46,661 If you want to catch the alien, 324 00:14:46,781 --> 00:14:49,115 I know where you can find him. 325 00:14:51,652 --> 00:14:53,601 Hey, that's my spaghetti. 326 00:14:53,721 --> 00:14:55,722 This is the first I'm hearing of it. 327 00:15:01,188 --> 00:15:02,903 Oh, man, this is exciting. 328 00:15:03,023 --> 00:15:04,538 Gonna catch my first alien. 329 00:15:04,658 --> 00:15:07,458 So, uh, what do you think the CIA will do 330 00:15:07,578 --> 00:15:09,161 with the alien when you bring it in? 331 00:15:09,321 --> 00:15:12,413 Oh, they're going to dissect him like a frog, like Kermit. 332 00:15:12,533 --> 00:15:14,317 That's probably my favorite frog. 333 00:15:15,619 --> 00:15:17,801 Hey, if you get a runny nose, 334 00:15:17,921 --> 00:15:19,503 I've got napkins in the glove box. 335 00:15:19,623 --> 00:15:20,804 Every time I go to Wendy's, 336 00:15:20,924 --> 00:15:23,409 I grab a handful of those yellow napkins. 337 00:15:26,463 --> 00:15:28,262 Klaus, what's going on? 338 00:15:28,382 --> 00:15:30,097 I'm moving into Roger's attic. 339 00:15:30,217 --> 00:15:32,184 Stan turned him over to an alien hunter. 340 00:15:32,344 --> 00:15:33,018 Wh-What? 341 00:15:33,178 --> 00:15:34,418 Yeah, he was super P.O.'d 342 00:15:34,538 --> 00:15:36,353 about Roger taking Scarlett away for the weekend... 343 00:15:36,473 --> 00:15:37,788 careful with that box! 344 00:15:37,908 --> 00:15:40,324 You hold it precariously and I am distrustful. 345 00:15:40,444 --> 00:15:41,659 Thank you, Rico. 346 00:15:41,779 --> 00:15:43,227 Gracias, Rico. 347 00:15:43,347 --> 00:15:46,049 How's your wife's Looney Tunes jean jacket? 348 00:15:49,403 --> 00:15:51,568 Just like in my fantasy. 349 00:15:51,688 --> 00:15:52,903 You go on ahead, Stan, 350 00:15:53,023 --> 00:15:55,005 I'm just waterproofing my snakeskin boots. 351 00:15:55,125 --> 00:15:57,668 I won't be but a minute. 352 00:15:57,828 --> 00:16:00,087 Get off of her, you gross, gray arf! 353 00:16:00,247 --> 00:16:02,012 Where's Rog... Dan? 354 00:16:02,132 --> 00:16:03,464 He's... in the back. 355 00:16:03,584 --> 00:16:04,698 What are you doing here? 356 00:16:04,818 --> 00:16:06,200 Hey, Stan, look at my boots. 357 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,002 The water just beads up. 358 00:16:08,122 --> 00:16:10,020 Aw, damn, Scarlett? 359 00:16:10,140 --> 00:16:11,288 Hello, Shannon. 360 00:16:11,408 --> 00:16:13,107 Wait, you two know each other? 361 00:16:13,227 --> 00:16:14,775 Of course I know this fine lady. 362 00:16:14,895 --> 00:16:16,143 Best alien hunter around, 363 00:16:16,263 --> 00:16:18,897 but not today 'cause that alien is mine. 364 00:16:19,057 --> 00:16:19,813 What? 365 00:16:19,933 --> 00:16:22,359 No, th-there must be some mistake. 366 00:16:23,771 --> 00:16:25,355 There's no mistake. 367 00:16:27,274 --> 00:16:29,809 Oh, boner, not now. 368 00:16:32,654 --> 00:16:33,410 Oh... 369 00:16:33,530 --> 00:16:35,412 Panties, oh, panties. 370 00:16:35,532 --> 00:16:36,764 Steve, what are you doing? 371 00:16:36,884 --> 00:16:39,883 I-I accidentally wore your panties the other day... 372 00:16:40,003 --> 00:16:41,919 the really cute pair with the lace job? 373 00:16:42,039 --> 00:16:44,605 When I wore them, I had the best luck of my life, 374 00:16:44,725 --> 00:16:45,973 but then Snot stole them. 375 00:16:46,093 --> 00:16:47,676 Aw, Snot has them? 376 00:16:47,836 --> 00:16:49,276 Yeah, now I need another pair. 377 00:16:49,396 --> 00:16:50,679 I need my luck back! 378 00:16:51,832 --> 00:16:53,948 Look, Steve, remember on The Smurfs 379 00:16:54,068 --> 00:16:56,050 when Wimpy Smurf wasn't feeling very strong 380 00:16:56,170 --> 00:16:58,485 and Papa Smurf made him a magic courage potion? 381 00:16:58,605 --> 00:16:59,688 Of course. 382 00:16:59,848 --> 00:17:01,689 And remember it worked, but then in the end, 383 00:17:01,809 --> 00:17:04,591 Papa Smurf admitted it wasn't magic at all? 384 00:17:04,711 --> 00:17:06,695 It was just regular old Smurf Berry Jam. 385 00:17:06,855 --> 00:17:08,028 Classic episode. 386 00:17:08,148 --> 00:17:10,698 Steve, those panties weren't lucky. 387 00:17:10,818 --> 00:17:12,199 It was the confidence they gave you 388 00:17:12,319 --> 00:17:13,767 that made you feel lucky. 389 00:17:13,887 --> 00:17:15,135 Hey, and guess what. 390 00:17:15,255 --> 00:17:19,807 That confidence is in... side... you. 391 00:17:19,927 --> 00:17:22,042 Oh, thanks, Hayley. 392 00:17:22,162 --> 00:17:25,064 All right, run along now. 393 00:17:33,557 --> 00:17:37,141 I have had the worst luck since I lost those panties. 394 00:17:37,261 --> 00:17:39,353 Give 'em back, you son of a bitch! 395 00:17:41,056 --> 00:17:42,915 Oh, hell, no. 396 00:17:57,030 --> 00:17:58,695 Give 'em to me. 397 00:18:02,686 --> 00:18:04,601 That was amazing. 398 00:18:04,721 --> 00:18:07,824 Those are the luckiest panti in the world. 399 00:18:11,128 --> 00:18:13,053 You're an alien hunter? 400 00:18:13,213 --> 00:18:14,311 That's right. 401 00:18:14,431 --> 00:18:16,513 I purposefully ran into you at the coffee shop 402 00:18:16,633 --> 00:18:18,882 'cause I knew you had the alien. 403 00:18:19,002 --> 00:18:21,729 Why else would I even give you the time of day? 404 00:18:21,889 --> 00:18:22,586 Really? 405 00:18:22,706 --> 00:18:24,288 You're a loser. 406 00:18:24,408 --> 00:18:25,939 You were a nobody at the academy 407 00:18:26,059 --> 00:18:27,508 and you're a nobody now, 408 00:18:27,628 --> 00:18:30,944 and you saw me kill someone so now I'm going to kill you. 409 00:18:31,064 --> 00:18:33,547 Oh, man, you are the worst right now. 410 00:18:33,667 --> 00:18:36,617 I can't believe I spent all those years pining after you. 411 00:18:36,737 --> 00:18:39,553 Well, allow me to erase that memory. 412 00:18:39,673 --> 00:18:41,055 Go ahead, shoot me. 413 00:18:41,175 --> 00:18:42,156 You're trash. 414 00:18:42,276 --> 00:18:43,690 I have the best wife at home. 415 00:18:43,810 --> 00:18:47,161 She's terrific, she's sexy, she's smart but not very. 416 00:18:47,281 --> 00:18:49,965 Lady, my wife blows you away. 417 00:18:50,125 --> 00:18:51,717 Damn right I do. 418 00:18:51,877 --> 00:18:52,760 Francine? 419 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,686 Oh, oh, oh, oh! 420 00:18:58,300 --> 00:18:59,056 Oh, my God. 421 00:18:59,176 --> 00:19:01,325 Wow, she was really dry. 422 00:19:01,445 --> 00:19:03,127 Oh, Francine, I'm so sorry 423 00:19:03,247 --> 00:19:04,661 for being such a sack of beans, 424 00:19:04,781 --> 00:19:06,029 fantasizing over Scarlett. 425 00:19:06,149 --> 00:19:07,464 No, it's okay. 426 00:19:07,584 --> 00:19:09,400 Sometimes I like to fantasize 427 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:12,002 you're a group of angry construction workers 428 00:19:12,122 --> 00:19:13,637 when we're making love. 429 00:19:13,757 --> 00:19:15,272 But what woman doesn't look back 430 00:19:15,392 --> 00:19:17,541 on her first time with fondness? 431 00:19:19,029 --> 00:19:21,879 To think I almost turned Roger into the CIA. 432 00:19:21,999 --> 00:19:23,680 Shannon Sharpe said they were gonna dissect... 433 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:24,748 Help! 434 00:19:24,868 --> 00:19:26,210 Roger! 435 00:19:26,370 --> 00:19:28,235 Oh, gross! 436 00:19:28,355 --> 00:19:29,388 Roger! 437 00:19:31,158 --> 00:19:34,608 Hey, can you guys put me back together before I die over here? 438 00:19:34,728 --> 00:19:35,928 Preesh. 439 00:19:36,088 --> 00:19:38,881 ♪ ♪ 440 00:20:08,370 --> 00:20:11,080 ♪ ♪ 441 00:20:16,712 --> 00:20:17,918 Thanks for saving me, dudes. 442 00:20:18,038 --> 00:20:20,354 So when did you realize Scarlett was an alien hunter? 443 00:20:20,474 --> 00:20:22,641 Took a little longer than I'd prefer to admit. 444 00:20:22,801 --> 00:20:25,259 For a while, I just thought we were having super-kinky sex, 445 00:20:25,379 --> 00:20:26,979 and then she cut off my face. 446 00:20:27,139 --> 00:20:29,563 Sorry for interfering with your love life, pal. 447 00:20:29,683 --> 00:20:32,432 Yeah, I'm sorry for going after your fantasy girl. 448 00:20:32,552 --> 00:20:34,220 Come on, let's go home. 449 00:20:36,239 --> 00:20:38,172 You guys go ahead, 450 00:20:38,292 --> 00:20:39,706 I'm gonna make the Shannon Sharpe thing 451 00:20:39,826 --> 00:20:41,911 look like a suicide. 452 00:20:57,002 --> 00:20:58,909 Yeah, it's pretty clear what happened here. 453 00:20:59,029 --> 00:21:01,478 This man shot himself, fell against the painting, 454 00:21:01,598 --> 00:21:02,646 then took out a knife. 455 00:21:02,766 --> 00:21:03,814 Back to the office, boss? 456 00:21:03,934 --> 00:21:05,782 Uh-uh, it's movie time. 457 00:21:05,902 --> 00:21:07,436 Are you serious? 458 00:21:07,596 --> 00:21:09,730 Am I dialing Moviefone right now? 459 00:21:09,890 --> 00:21:11,101 Yes! 460 00:21:11,221 --> 00:21:13,442 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com