1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,731
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:03,856 --> 00:00:06,173
♪ Good morning, USA!
3
00:00:06,394 --> 00:00:10,223
♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
4
00:00:10,348 --> 00:00:13,159
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
5
00:00:13,284 --> 00:00:17,370
♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
6
00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:22,919
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say
7
00:00:23,044 --> 00:00:24,720
♪ Good...
♪ Good morning, USA
8
00:00:24,845 --> 00:00:26,179
Aah!
9
00:00:27,682 --> 00:00:30,947
♪ Good morning, USA!
10
00:00:36,452 --> 00:00:38,163
Do you have any leads?
11
00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:41,083
Fly Girl's been missing
for five days now.
12
00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:43,222
Look, there's something you
should know about your bird...
13
00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:45,295
Oh, no.
14
00:00:45,461 --> 00:00:47,260
I just got a clue in the case of
15
00:00:47,385 --> 00:00:50,096
whether or not that new Thai
restaurant gives you the runs.
16
00:00:50,221 --> 00:00:51,964
It does. Case closed!
17
00:00:52,089 --> 00:00:54,684
Teddy Bonkers, bathroom key, stat.
18
00:00:55,972 --> 00:00:59,142
You see, Lorraine, your bird is...
19
00:00:59,308 --> 00:01:01,407
How... how do I put this?
20
00:01:01,686 --> 00:01:03,476
Please find her.
21
00:01:05,202 --> 00:01:07,163
No, no, no, no, don't-don't cry.
22
00:01:07,288 --> 00:01:09,966
We, uh, we'll keep looking, okay?
23
00:01:10,091 --> 00:01:12,058
I know we'll find her.
24
00:01:13,906 --> 00:01:15,867
Thank you, Mr. Wheels.
25
00:01:16,033 --> 00:01:18,591
Out of TP in there, Bonkers,
so I had to use
26
00:01:18,716 --> 00:01:20,517
the corner of your Ferrari poster.
27
00:01:23,537 --> 00:01:25,281
Man, that Lorraine is a cold bitch.
28
00:01:25,406 --> 00:01:28,058
Grinning after you told her
her bird was de...
29
00:01:30,047 --> 00:01:31,133
You didn't tell her, did you?
30
00:01:31,362 --> 00:01:34,307
She was so upset,
I just couldn't break it to her.
31
00:01:34,432 --> 00:01:36,976
You think this fake detective
agency with real cases
32
00:01:37,101 --> 00:01:39,479
and a pretend office in
your father's garage is a joke?!
33
00:01:39,604 --> 00:01:41,214
I just hate upsetting people.
34
00:01:41,339 --> 00:01:43,499
Breaking bad news is
part of the job, Wheels.
35
00:01:43,624 --> 00:01:45,751
It's a part of life.
You got to do it.
36
00:01:45,876 --> 00:01:48,525
That's why I volunteer at
the cancer ward every Sunday.
37
00:01:48,691 --> 00:01:50,569
You're all going to die.
38
00:01:50,735 --> 00:01:54,197
Your parents and your doctors
are lying to you.
39
00:01:54,363 --> 00:01:57,363
Did you know that megaphone
takes 12 D batteries?
40
00:01:57,488 --> 00:02:00,183
I know. I had the same look when
I first opened the compartment.
41
00:02:00,308 --> 00:02:02,251
Could stick my whole fist in there.
42
00:02:02,376 --> 00:02:04,878
No, that's not
what she said, Bonkers.
43
00:02:07,748 --> 00:02:09,296
Bonkers.
44
00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:12,549
Oh, look at that bunny in the loafer!
45
00:02:12,715 --> 00:02:14,430
Are you a bunny in a loafer?
46
00:02:14,555 --> 00:02:16,332
You are, aren't you?
47
00:02:16,457 --> 00:02:19,556
Oh! That turtle has
a hamster on his back.
48
00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:20,724
Let me see this.
49
00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:22,772
Ugly. Ugly.
50
00:02:22,897 --> 00:02:25,061
The walls of my anus
are cuter than that panda.
51
00:02:25,227 --> 00:02:26,392
Take my picture.
52
00:02:26,517 --> 00:02:27,793
I can get on this site.
53
00:02:27,918 --> 00:02:30,596
Hey, so, what's going on in here?
54
00:02:30,721 --> 00:02:31,898
Not much.
55
00:02:32,023 --> 00:02:33,666
How's your big
three-day weekend going?
56
00:02:33,791 --> 00:02:35,268
Good. Good.
Exciting.
57
00:02:35,393 --> 00:02:36,969
Exc... Too exciting.
Had to take a break.
58
00:02:37,094 --> 00:02:38,394
Not a young man.
59
00:02:39,163 --> 00:02:41,340
So, you guys, you guys are
doing something with Klaus, huh?
60
00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:43,676
We're gonna take pictures of
him to submit to Cute Pet Pics.
61
00:02:43,801 --> 00:02:45,945
Want to help?
62
00:02:46,070 --> 00:02:48,605
Guess I'll go try on hats
in the garage.
63
00:02:54,895 --> 00:02:58,307
Extry, extry, read all about it.
64
00:02:58,432 --> 00:03:00,026
My grandfather
always claimed
65
00:03:00,151 --> 00:03:01,827
I would inherit a secret fortune.
66
00:03:01,952 --> 00:03:04,130
But when he died, all he left me
67
00:03:04,255 --> 00:03:07,123
was this one mysterious key.
68
00:03:09,146 --> 00:03:11,938
I don't have any money
to pay you, but if you find out
69
00:03:12,063 --> 00:03:14,820
what this key opens, you can
have half of whatever's inside.
70
00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:17,393
Wow, that sounds like a fun journey.
71
00:03:17,518 --> 00:03:19,328
Here's your chance to give some bad news.
72
00:03:19,453 --> 00:03:21,660
Tell this kid to hit the bricks.
73
00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:23,866
Listen, you look like
a nice kid and all,
74
00:03:23,991 --> 00:03:25,458
but we're not gonna be able to...
75
00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:29,605
... take our eyes off your sweater.
76
00:03:30,698 --> 00:03:31,857
Is it soft?
77
00:03:31,982 --> 00:03:33,859
Can I wear it without
a T-shirt under it,
78
00:03:33,984 --> 00:03:35,444
you know, how black guys
sometimes wear sweaters?
79
00:03:35,569 --> 00:03:36,779
Fail!
80
00:03:36,904 --> 00:03:38,802
Beat it, Sweet Charity;
we're not taking your case.
81
00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:41,471
Please. This key is
my grandfather's legacy.
82
00:03:41,637 --> 00:03:44,053
Uhp, "legacy."
83
00:03:44,178 --> 00:03:45,454
Fine, we'll take the case.
84
00:03:45,579 --> 00:03:47,623
You're lucky you said a word
with "leg" in it.
85
00:03:47,748 --> 00:03:48,958
It's my only weakness.
86
00:03:49,083 --> 00:03:51,460
That's how I got this
Foghorn Leghorn key chain
87
00:03:51,585 --> 00:03:53,613
and this bag of legumes.
88
00:03:53,738 --> 00:03:55,944
Teddy Bonkers will
validate your parking.
89
00:04:00,694 --> 00:04:03,243
Steve, why can't you ever
give anyone bad news?
90
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:05,036
I just hate making people sad.
91
00:04:05,202 --> 00:04:07,610
You're a pushover, but I don't
have time to discuss it,
92
00:04:07,735 --> 00:04:10,212
because I have to
push out some green curry.
93
00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:12,415
Yes, I tried the Thai restaurant again.
94
00:04:12,540 --> 00:04:14,383
It's called giving a place
a second chance,
95
00:04:14,508 --> 00:04:16,376
and it burns like hell.
96
00:04:19,246 --> 00:04:21,824
So this, uh,
detective stuff looks fun.
97
00:04:21,949 --> 00:04:23,092
Can I play?
98
00:04:23,217 --> 00:04:25,061
Um, maybe, Dad,
99
00:04:25,186 --> 00:04:27,363
but I'm not sure you
understand what we do here.
100
00:04:27,488 --> 00:04:28,798
No, no, I get it.
101
00:04:28,923 --> 00:04:30,900
It's part pretend, part real,
fake detectives, real cases,
102
00:04:31,025 --> 00:04:33,523
you're in a wheelchair, Roger
can walk... w-what's not to get?
103
00:04:33,689 --> 00:04:36,067
Tell you what, I'll run it by
The Legman, see what he says.
104
00:04:36,233 --> 00:04:39,208
Good. And I'll run to the store
and get some lemons.
105
00:04:39,333 --> 00:04:43,303
So we'll both...
be... doing something.
106
00:05:05,387 --> 00:05:07,076
♪ B-B-B-Brawny.
107
00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:25,955
Come on, buddy!
108
00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:27,990
Light's not getting any greener!
109
00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:30,593
What up, Wheels?
110
00:05:30,718 --> 00:05:32,695
Ooh, hold on,
hottie in the next lane.
111
00:05:32,820 --> 00:05:34,563
Nope, baby seat, I'm out.
What do you got?
112
00:05:34,688 --> 00:05:37,032
Well, my Dad asked me
if he could join the agency, so...
113
00:05:37,157 --> 00:05:38,601
Nope. We don't need a new employee.
114
00:05:38,726 --> 00:05:41,270
Oh, my God, traffic just
came to a freakin' standstill.
115
00:05:41,395 --> 00:05:42,371
But he...
116
00:05:42,496 --> 00:05:44,006
Listen, Wheels,
for once in your life,
117
00:05:44,131 --> 00:05:46,008
break some bad news and tell your dad
118
00:05:46,133 --> 00:05:47,597
he can't join the agency.
119
00:05:49,303 --> 00:05:51,180
Roger, stop playing with the car!
120
00:05:55,576 --> 00:05:59,317
Oh, yeah, forgot it was Sean's
birthday party at Bar Fudge.
121
00:05:59,483 --> 00:06:00,556
Was it packed?
122
00:06:00,681 --> 00:06:01,924
I'm kidding.
123
00:06:02,049 --> 00:06:04,160
I'm just giving you the
business, Teddy Drunkers.
124
00:06:04,285 --> 00:06:05,995
W-We'll try to give you
a nice easy morning.
125
00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:07,129
Any calls?
126
00:06:07,254 --> 00:06:08,159
What is this?
127
00:06:08,325 --> 00:06:10,332
Um, Legman,
128
00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:14,082
meet our newest employee,
Pappa Wheelie.
129
00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:15,667
What? I thought I said...
130
00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:19,108
I'm so happy you guys let me in.
131
00:06:19,233 --> 00:06:20,733
I'm going to Fudge.
132
00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:25,038
♪
133
00:06:28,358 --> 00:06:29,502
I needed this.
134
00:06:29,627 --> 00:06:31,921
I was having a terrible day at work.
135
00:06:32,046 --> 00:06:34,089
I want you.
136
00:06:34,214 --> 00:06:35,645
Can we get out of here?
137
00:06:35,811 --> 00:06:36,625
What? No.
138
00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:38,585
Let's just keep dancing.
139
00:06:49,658 --> 00:06:52,736
Wheels, may I speak with you?
140
00:06:52,861 --> 00:06:55,322
Pappa Wheelie, why don't you
go fill out your HR forms.
141
00:06:55,447 --> 00:06:56,750
Teddy Bonkers will help you.
142
00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:57,876
Th-The teddy bear?
143
00:06:58,042 --> 00:06:59,009
Teddy bear?!
144
00:06:59,134 --> 00:07:01,212
His name is Theodore Bonkers.
145
00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:02,713
He's not the smartest guy,
146
00:07:02,838 --> 00:07:04,682
but he tries harder than
anyone I've ever met.
147
00:07:04,807 --> 00:07:06,150
And I've met Ed Burns.
148
00:07:06,275 --> 00:07:07,302
Go talk to him.
149
00:07:08,385 --> 00:07:09,677
Just go with it.
150
00:07:13,666 --> 00:07:14,934
What the hell, Wheels?!
151
00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:17,562
He was so excited,
I couldn't let him down.
152
00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:21,315
Uh, it-it says,
"list previous work experience
153
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:23,551
or draw a picture of a cowboy."
154
00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:26,053
I can't draw a cowboy;
is a pirate acceptable?
155
00:07:26,178 --> 00:07:27,405
Yes.
156
00:07:30,215 --> 00:07:32,459
Well, I tried this
thing in every lock
157
00:07:32,584 --> 00:07:33,627
in the old man's house.
158
00:07:33,752 --> 00:07:34,695
This opens nothing.
159
00:07:34,820 --> 00:07:35,996
Listen, Wheels.
160
00:07:36,121 --> 00:07:38,799
The grandfather may have
left a clue in this piano.
161
00:07:38,924 --> 00:07:39,967
Why's that, Legman?
162
00:07:40,092 --> 00:07:41,819
'Cause it's out of key.
163
00:07:43,612 --> 00:07:45,756
A clue would have been grand.
164
00:07:47,232 --> 00:07:48,826
In the sand!
165
00:07:48,951 --> 00:07:50,477
You made me stop laughing.
166
00:07:50,602 --> 00:07:52,880
Well, at least
you're good for something.
167
00:07:53,005 --> 00:07:53,932
What is this?!
168
00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:55,683
It's coffee.
169
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,952
I only drink flaming Grand Marnier!
170
00:07:58,077 --> 00:07:59,286
I'm-I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
171
00:07:59,411 --> 00:08:00,604
Bonkers said to bring coffee.
172
00:08:00,729 --> 00:08:01,989
You're a liability!
173
00:08:02,114 --> 00:08:03,490
You know what your problem is?
174
00:08:03,615 --> 00:08:05,393
Pappa Wheelie
doesn't have a backstory.
175
00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:07,070
All right, all you have is a prop.
176
00:08:07,336 --> 00:08:09,179
How did you end up on that unicycle?
177
00:08:09,304 --> 00:08:11,081
Are you a hipster,
are you a Frenchman,
178
00:08:11,206 --> 00:08:13,017
were you raised by
a Russian circus bear?
179
00:08:13,142 --> 00:08:14,068
You don't know!
180
00:08:14,193 --> 00:08:15,552
You just woke up one morning
181
00:08:15,677 --> 00:08:17,372
and saw a unicycle, you stupid hack.
182
00:08:17,613 --> 00:08:19,523
I don't know about you,
but this case has put me
183
00:08:19,648 --> 00:08:20,791
in the mood for some cocaine.
184
00:08:20,916 --> 00:08:22,259
I-I get that joke.
185
00:08:22,384 --> 00:08:24,528
'Cause cocaine comes in keys, right?
186
00:08:24,653 --> 00:08:26,680
The Legman doesn't
joke about cocaine.
187
00:08:26,805 --> 00:08:29,300
Cocaine is not a joking matter.
188
00:08:31,143 --> 00:08:33,621
We'll just stay loose,
we'll get some great shots,
189
00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:36,307
and we'll get you on that
pet pics Web site, no sweat.
190
00:08:36,539 --> 00:08:39,144
Ooh! It's going to be so cute.
191
00:08:39,518 --> 00:08:40,812
♪
192
00:08:53,682 --> 00:08:56,393
Hello. I'm Legman and
this is my partner Wheels,
193
00:08:56,518 --> 00:08:58,529
and I am drinking my signature drink.
194
00:08:58,654 --> 00:09:00,965
We were ransacking
a dead man's house and we found
195
00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:03,701
a monthly bill for a P.O. box
at this location, see.
196
00:09:03,826 --> 00:09:05,703
We think this might be
the key for it.
197
00:09:05,828 --> 00:09:07,621
This key doesn't
unlock anything here.
198
00:09:07,746 --> 00:09:09,089
But I know what it does unlock.
199
00:09:09,214 --> 00:09:10,291
It unlocks...
200
00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:11,458
Man, don't you hate it
201
00:09:11,583 --> 00:09:13,011
when ugly people run mailbox stores?
202
00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:15,296
- What?
- Pappa Wheelie, the smart-mouthed
203
00:09:15,421 --> 00:09:17,381
junior associate to
Wheels and The Legman.
204
00:09:17,506 --> 00:09:20,084
I get away with saying things
that other people can't.
205
00:09:20,209 --> 00:09:21,644
Seriously, dude, your face is a mess.
206
00:09:23,212 --> 00:09:24,688
Pappa Wheelie, stop it!
207
00:09:24,813 --> 00:09:26,023
Can't, it's my character.
208
00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:28,258
My looks are
a sensitive subject for me!
209
00:09:28,383 --> 00:09:30,077
Get out, all of you!
210
00:09:30,202 --> 00:09:32,229
W-Wait... tell us what the key is for.
211
00:09:32,354 --> 00:09:34,157
I work at a store called Mailboxes,
212
00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:36,567
not at a store called
"I help people who hurt me."
213
00:09:36,692 --> 00:09:38,035
That store is down the block.
214
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,436
It is amazing.
215
00:09:39,561 --> 00:09:43,124
I wanted to work there,
but they told me I was too ugly.
216
00:09:43,398 --> 00:09:45,693
You said to get a
backstory and I got one.
217
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,861
My grandfather invented the packaging
218
00:09:47,986 --> 00:09:50,748
around discs of bologna, and
I have beaucoup family money,
219
00:09:50,873 --> 00:09:52,132
but I refuse it because...
220
00:09:52,257 --> 00:09:53,267
He's suck.
221
00:09:53,392 --> 00:09:54,268
He's suck incarnate.
222
00:09:54,393 --> 00:09:55,178
Fire him!
223
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,304
You want me to fire my own dad?
224
00:09:57,429 --> 00:09:58,765
B-But he loves it here.
225
00:09:59,031 --> 00:10:00,524
You brought him in, you get him out.
226
00:10:00,649 --> 00:10:03,043
Before he takes a big Yoko
all over this place.
227
00:10:03,168 --> 00:10:05,188
Fire him or this partnership is over.
228
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,317
So we agree,
if a waiter drops something,
229
00:10:10,442 --> 00:10:12,653
we're gonna say "nice job" and clap.
230
00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:14,588
Um, sure, okay.
231
00:10:14,713 --> 00:10:16,290
Yeah, we're gonna say that.
232
00:10:16,415 --> 00:10:19,619
So, Dad, the reason I brought
you here is-is to let you know,
233
00:10:20,525 --> 00:10:23,539
well, the agency is
going through some changes.
234
00:10:23,705 --> 00:10:25,917
Ah, you mean like getting rid
of that dumb bear?
235
00:10:26,191 --> 00:10:27,951
Dad, I don't know how to say this...
236
00:10:28,076 --> 00:10:29,686
My name is Nate, I'll be your server.
237
00:10:29,811 --> 00:10:30,988
How are we this evening?
238
00:10:31,113 --> 00:10:32,423
Nate, this evening, I'm proud.
239
00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:34,175
Are you a father, Nate?
240
00:10:34,341 --> 00:10:36,928
Because in some ways,
I'm two fathers.
241
00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:38,012
There's Stan and Steve,
242
00:10:38,253 --> 00:10:40,431
and then Pappa Wheelie
and his son Wheels.
243
00:10:40,689 --> 00:10:43,267
So... do you like music?
244
00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:44,802
Do I like music?
245
00:10:44,927 --> 00:10:48,272
No, no, I'm the one person
on Earth who doesn't like music.
246
00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:50,274
Why did you answer my ad online
247
00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:51,842
if you were just gonna ignore me?
248
00:10:51,967 --> 00:10:53,777
My profile has four pictures of me
249
00:10:53,902 --> 00:10:56,096
staring out of a restaurant
window through binoculars.
250
00:10:56,221 --> 00:10:57,865
You knew what this was.
251
00:11:00,617 --> 00:11:03,754
Nice job.
252
00:11:03,879 --> 00:11:05,672
Listen, Dad, about the agency...
253
00:11:05,797 --> 00:11:07,040
Oh, I love it so much.
254
00:11:07,165 --> 00:11:08,275
It's so fun.
255
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,827
Plus I get to spend time with you.
256
00:11:09,952 --> 00:11:10,962
What could be better?
257
00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:12,964
Um, well...
258
00:11:13,222 --> 00:11:14,799
Yes?
You're...
259
00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:18,969
Getting a top-secret assignment.
260
00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:20,320
I'm ready!
261
00:11:20,445 --> 00:11:23,190
Look, we need you to become our...
262
00:11:23,315 --> 00:11:26,243
um, our... our-our
head key researcher.
263
00:11:26,368 --> 00:11:28,145
But you gotta...
you gotta do it
264
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:29,613
deep, deep undercover.
265
00:11:29,738 --> 00:11:31,849
Like... like, don't
even tell The Legman.
266
00:11:31,974 --> 00:11:35,185
Now, I need you to go to
the library every day.
267
00:11:35,310 --> 00:11:37,988
Find out everything there
is to know about keys.
268
00:11:38,113 --> 00:11:39,282
Okay, I can do this.
269
00:11:39,514 --> 00:11:41,993
You start now.
Get out of here.
270
00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:45,095
Oh, one more thing.
271
00:11:45,220 --> 00:11:47,165
You know how Moonstruck
is your favorite Cher movie?
272
00:11:47,389 --> 00:11:50,334
Uh, yes, I think I know
my favorite Cher movie.
273
00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:53,103
Want to reenact the "snap out
of it" scene before you go?
274
00:11:53,228 --> 00:11:54,404
Sure. Can you read me in?
275
00:11:54,529 --> 00:11:55,506
No problem.
276
00:11:55,631 --> 00:11:57,481
I'm in love with you.
277
00:12:00,218 --> 00:12:02,889
Snap out of it!
278
00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:07,201
Good for him, huh?
279
00:12:07,326 --> 00:12:09,486
You know, you're not
as ugly as I thought.
280
00:12:09,611 --> 00:12:10,971
I just might sex you later.
281
00:12:11,096 --> 00:12:12,606
I'm gonna go.
282
00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:14,942
Ugh. Now you've ruined it by talking.
283
00:12:17,669 --> 00:12:19,213
Ugh. Terrible date last night.
284
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:21,657
I only made her "O" like 100 times.
285
00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:23,083
You know...
286
00:12:23,208 --> 00:12:24,452
you know what I'm saying,
right, Bonks?
287
00:12:24,676 --> 00:12:26,954
Hey, this place has got
some breathing room, huh?
288
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:29,656
I can't believe you
actually fired Pappa Wheelie.
289
00:12:29,781 --> 00:12:31,892
Yep. He's a-gone.
290
00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:34,837
Wheels and The Legman.
291
00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:37,197
Steve, it's Mom.
Have you seen your father?
292
00:12:37,322 --> 00:12:38,815
I don't know who this Steve is.
293
00:12:38,940 --> 00:12:40,534
Is this about a case?
294
00:12:42,227 --> 00:12:45,038
Wheels, have you seen Pappa Wheelie?
295
00:12:45,163 --> 00:12:46,807
He didn't come home last night.
296
00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:47,975
That's weird.
297
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,310
Let me get back to you.
298
00:12:50,986 --> 00:12:52,412
Teddy, can you...
Oh, never mind.
299
00:12:52,537 --> 00:12:55,137
You're waiting for that
fax confirmation.
300
00:12:57,459 --> 00:12:59,477
Package for Wheels and The Legman.
301
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:05,076
A severed finger.
302
00:13:06,401 --> 00:13:07,945
"We have your associate."
303
00:13:08,070 --> 00:13:09,446
Dad!
304
00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:10,814
"If you want him back alive,
305
00:13:10,939 --> 00:13:12,950
"we will trade him for the key.
306
00:13:13,075 --> 00:13:16,295
3:00 at the abandoned bank
on Norton Street."
307
00:13:16,461 --> 00:13:17,588
Oh, my God!
308
00:13:17,754 --> 00:13:19,048
We gotta get goin'!
309
00:13:28,357 --> 00:13:30,067
Eventually we'll have
to go back inside
310
00:13:30,192 --> 00:13:32,502
and have a serious talk about
what we're going to do.
311
00:13:38,942 --> 00:13:40,535
It's Stan's finger, all right.
312
00:13:40,660 --> 00:13:42,804
I recognize the ring.
313
00:13:42,929 --> 00:13:44,489
How did this happen?
314
00:13:44,614 --> 00:13:46,325
We're not even real detectives.
315
00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:48,327
Someone wants that key bad.
316
00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:50,612
But why would anyone
do this to Pappa Wheelie?
317
00:13:50,737 --> 00:13:52,540
He wasn't even working
for us anymore.
318
00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:53,849
I...
319
00:13:54,227 --> 00:13:55,846
- I didn't fire him.
- What?!
320
00:13:56,026 --> 00:13:57,402
Oh, this is all my fault.
321
00:13:57,527 --> 00:13:58,637
Somebody must have followed him
322
00:13:58,762 --> 00:13:59,955
to the library and nabbed him.
323
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:01,923
We have to call the cops, Roger.
324
00:14:02,048 --> 00:14:03,225
It's Legman!
325
00:14:03,350 --> 00:14:05,052
And we are taking care
of this ourselves.
326
00:14:05,218 --> 00:14:06,461
They want the key, right?
327
00:14:06,586 --> 00:14:08,296
But who's to say
that once we give it to them,
328
00:14:08,421 --> 00:14:09,798
we actually get your dad back?
329
00:14:09,923 --> 00:14:12,868
We need to find out what
the key unlocks and get that.
330
00:14:12,993 --> 00:14:14,569
Then, if they try to pull a fast one,
331
00:14:14,694 --> 00:14:16,438
we have the key and the goods.
332
00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:17,706
We have all the leverage.
333
00:14:17,831 --> 00:14:19,441
I... I don't...
I don't know, Roger.
334
00:14:19,566 --> 00:14:20,809
I'm scared.
335
00:14:20,934 --> 00:14:23,111
No. Steve Smith is scared.
336
00:14:23,236 --> 00:14:27,249
Squwirt "Wheels" Cinnabun has
danglers the size of Montana.
337
00:14:27,374 --> 00:14:30,276
Anyone can crack this case, he can.
338
00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:34,665
Squwirt Cinnabun?
339
00:14:34,831 --> 00:14:36,425
Yeah.
I Keyser Soze'd you
340
00:14:36,550 --> 00:14:38,700
off the top of that file cabinet.
341
00:14:42,255 --> 00:14:44,499
Oh, great.
You guys again.
342
00:14:44,624 --> 00:14:47,202
Our vulgar associate is no
longer with the company.
343
00:14:47,327 --> 00:14:48,670
We came to say we're sorry.
344
00:14:48,795 --> 00:14:50,772
And to find out what you know
about this key.
345
00:14:50,897 --> 00:14:52,541
Okay, I'll tell you,
346
00:14:52,666 --> 00:14:54,276
but I'm running a business here.
347
00:14:54,401 --> 00:14:55,677
You'll have to buy something.
348
00:14:55,802 --> 00:14:57,403
I got this.
You have a scanner?
349
00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:07,156
And send.
350
00:15:07,322 --> 00:15:10,733
And I'll also take
this off-season Santa pen.
351
00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:14,479
The key opens a locker
at the train station.
352
00:15:14,604 --> 00:15:15,680
How did you know that?
353
00:15:15,805 --> 00:15:17,049
Because it's printed on the key.
354
00:15:17,174 --> 00:15:18,717
Here's the train station address,
355
00:15:18,842 --> 00:15:20,118
and here's the locker number.
356
00:15:20,243 --> 00:15:22,387
And here's a phone number
in case you find this key.
357
00:15:22,512 --> 00:15:24,589
And below that,
this is just a hotline number
358
00:15:24,714 --> 00:15:27,550
should you have any general
questions about the key.
359
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,365
Do you remember
where we parked the car?
360
00:15:33,490 --> 00:15:35,101
'Cause I don't.
We're in E-4.
361
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,468
Look at you.
362
00:15:36,593 --> 00:15:39,371
You're like that autistic
cowgirl Claire Danes played.
363
00:15:39,496 --> 00:15:41,339
Do you know she's an "A" cup?
364
00:15:41,464 --> 00:15:43,358
Hey, there are the lockers.
365
00:15:43,483 --> 00:15:46,153
I know so much about celebrities.
366
00:15:56,621 --> 00:15:58,974
We are up against a deadline, people,
367
00:15:59,099 --> 00:16:01,343
and not one of you
has submitted a photo
368
00:16:01,468 --> 00:16:04,880
that's close to cute enough
for Cute Pet Pics.
369
00:16:05,121 --> 00:16:06,414
My peepaw did not start
370
00:16:06,539 --> 00:16:08,700
an underground cute newspaper in 1943
371
00:16:08,825 --> 00:16:11,036
to have it all go to hell
'cause you morons
372
00:16:11,161 --> 00:16:13,848
can't tell your elbow
from a kitten in a bunny suit!
373
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:15,223
I'm sorry, Peepaw.
374
00:16:15,348 --> 00:16:17,609
I think we're going to have
to shut her down.
375
00:16:17,734 --> 00:16:19,277
Um, sir, I do have
376
00:16:19,402 --> 00:16:21,079
this submission from Langley Falls.
377
00:16:21,204 --> 00:16:22,397
Let me see that!
378
00:16:22,522 --> 00:16:23,965
Oh, my God.
379
00:16:24,090 --> 00:16:27,235
Carol, you may have
just saved the world.
380
00:16:27,402 --> 00:16:28,603
Is he serious?
381
00:16:28,728 --> 00:16:31,157
I... I never know
what's going on here.
382
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,544
Hi. I'm calling
from Cute Pet Pics.
383
00:16:35,669 --> 00:16:37,746
Uh, we have a submission
from this address,
384
00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:40,215
and with permission, we'd like
to publish it on the site.
385
00:16:40,340 --> 00:16:42,460
Oh, my God, yes!
Yes! Yes!
386
00:16:42,742 --> 00:16:45,086
Francine, Hayley,
get in here, bitches!
387
00:16:46,513 --> 00:16:48,290
Time to see some cute...
388
00:16:48,415 --> 00:16:49,615
What the...?!
389
00:16:52,552 --> 00:16:53,829
That's not a hippo's butt.
390
00:16:53,954 --> 00:16:55,897
That's Roger's fat alien ass.
391
00:16:56,022 --> 00:16:57,766
I'd know it anywhere.
392
00:16:57,891 --> 00:17:01,062
Many times I've woken up to that
ass hanging over mein bowl.
393
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:03,438
Wow, Klaus, I guess Roger's ass
is cuter than you.
394
00:17:03,563 --> 00:17:04,773
Dick.
395
00:17:04,898 --> 00:17:06,808
Yeah, Dick Vermeil.
396
00:17:06,933 --> 00:17:09,077
I won a ring
with the Rams.
397
00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:11,155
Flipped it on you, bitch.
398
00:17:11,321 --> 00:17:13,048
I flipped it on them.
399
00:17:13,173 --> 00:17:16,051
Oh, they will go upstairs,
they will Google Dick Vermeil,
400
00:17:16,176 --> 00:17:19,311
and they will know
how bad I nailed them.
401
00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:23,692
This is the spot.
Now, where's Stan?
402
00:17:23,817 --> 00:17:25,961
There's a note in the pneumatic tube.
403
00:17:27,554 --> 00:17:29,831
"Send in the key,
and Pappa Wheelie is yours.
404
00:17:29,956 --> 00:17:31,199
We are watching."
405
00:17:31,324 --> 00:17:33,993
They can have the key.
We already have the bag.
406
00:17:37,197 --> 00:17:39,433
Whoa, that sucks really good.
407
00:17:39,599 --> 00:17:44,179
You think anyone's ever...
done stuff with it?
408
00:17:44,304 --> 00:17:46,748
Should I do stuff with it?
409
00:17:46,873 --> 00:17:49,985
Do we have time for me
to do stuff with it?
410
00:17:50,151 --> 00:17:52,721
If I do stuff with it
and stuff goes wrong,
411
00:17:52,846 --> 00:17:54,305
will you help me?
412
00:17:54,430 --> 00:17:55,991
Oh, wait. There he is.
413
00:17:56,157 --> 00:17:57,826
Dad! We're coming for you!
414
00:17:57,951 --> 00:17:59,961
How do we get in there?
I have an idea.
415
00:18:00,086 --> 00:18:02,206
Quick, grab my disguise
kit out of the trunk.
416
00:18:08,111 --> 00:18:09,521
Dad, what happened?
417
00:18:09,646 --> 00:18:10,722
It's Bonkers.
418
00:18:10,847 --> 00:18:12,724
I know, this whole thing
is just bananas.
419
00:18:12,849 --> 00:18:14,960
No, it's Bonkers... Teddy Bonkers.
420
00:18:15,085 --> 00:18:16,887
He did this.
He's behind you.
421
00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:21,383
He had it out for me the whole time.
422
00:18:21,508 --> 00:18:23,251
He gave me the wrong
coffee order for Roger.
423
00:18:23,376 --> 00:18:24,970
He encouraged my smart-mouth persona,
424
00:18:25,095 --> 00:18:26,538
knowing full well it would bomb.
425
00:18:26,663 --> 00:18:28,323
Bonkers wanted me fired,
and when that didn't happen,
426
00:18:28,448 --> 00:18:29,692
he wanted me dead.
427
00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:31,109
What?
428
00:18:31,234 --> 00:18:32,410
Oh, my God.
Of course!
429
00:18:32,535 --> 00:18:34,246
Bonkers was jealous that you came in
430
00:18:34,371 --> 00:18:35,413
as a junior detective
431
00:18:35,538 --> 00:18:37,349
when he was next in line
for a promotion.
432
00:18:37,474 --> 00:18:38,951
Oh, Bonkers.
433
00:18:39,117 --> 00:18:40,993
How could you do this?
434
00:18:42,612 --> 00:18:44,372
Oh, for the love of God, Roger.
435
00:18:44,497 --> 00:18:46,508
Bonkers is not real!
436
00:18:46,633 --> 00:18:47,976
What?
What are you saying?
437
00:18:48,101 --> 00:18:50,829
Bonkers is a stuffed bear... a toy!
438
00:18:50,954 --> 00:18:53,131
I didn't want to tell you,
but I hate this bit!
439
00:18:53,256 --> 00:18:55,176
Here's why... it's stupid!
440
00:18:55,392 --> 00:18:57,035
A teddy bear as our receptionist?
441
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:58,637
It doesn't even make sense.
442
00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:00,598
Do you know how many calls
we've missed?
443
00:19:00,764 --> 00:19:02,157
But, Steve...
444
00:19:02,282 --> 00:19:04,726
I went along with it 'cause
I didn't want to upset you.
445
00:19:04,851 --> 00:19:06,294
I can't stand telling people
446
00:19:06,419 --> 00:19:08,830
things they don't
want to hear, but...
447
00:19:08,955 --> 00:19:10,098
Hey.
448
00:19:10,223 --> 00:19:11,833
Why, I did it.
449
00:19:11,958 --> 00:19:13,861
I told someone bad news.
450
00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:16,304
But if Bonkers isn't real,
451
00:19:16,429 --> 00:19:19,231
then who kidnapped Pappa Wheelie?
452
00:19:20,867 --> 00:19:22,210
It was you.
453
00:19:22,335 --> 00:19:24,288
You framed Teddy Bonkers.
454
00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:26,047
It's true.
455
00:19:26,172 --> 00:19:27,699
I knew you wanted to fire me.
456
00:19:27,824 --> 00:19:29,067
Yes, I knew.
457
00:19:29,192 --> 00:19:31,202
So I figured,
if I made Bonkers the bad guy,
458
00:19:31,327 --> 00:19:32,837
I could blame all my mistakes on him
459
00:19:32,962 --> 00:19:34,339
and you'd give me another chance.
460
00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:36,665
But I made one miscalculation.
461
00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:39,544
I never thought Steve
would have the guts
462
00:19:39,669 --> 00:19:41,388
to tell you Bonkers was fake.
463
00:19:41,554 --> 00:19:43,114
The only thing I don't get
464
00:19:43,239 --> 00:19:45,226
is why you went to all this trouble.
465
00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:46,634
I was bored, Steve.
466
00:19:46,759 --> 00:19:48,169
Really, really bored.
467
00:19:48,294 --> 00:19:49,688
Like, so bored.
468
00:19:49,854 --> 00:19:51,473
So you cut off your own finger?
469
00:19:51,598 --> 00:19:52,974
That wasn't my finger.
470
00:19:53,099 --> 00:19:55,460
It was a fish stick I sucked
the bread crumbs off of.
471
00:19:55,585 --> 00:19:58,864
I thought there was something
fishy about all this, Legman.
472
00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:01,406
No, I'm not playing without Bonkers!
473
00:20:03,076 --> 00:20:04,235
You know what?
474
00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:07,572
It's not so bad being
the "bear-er" of bad news.
475
00:20:07,697 --> 00:20:10,975
Or the sharer of new shoes.
476
00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:12,344
You're fired.
477
00:20:12,469 --> 00:20:14,779
Whoo! That felt great!
478
00:20:14,904 --> 00:20:16,715
I gotta keep this goin'!
479
00:20:16,881 --> 00:20:19,385
Your bird is dead.
480
00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:21,036
Your grandfather was an idiot.
481
00:20:21,161 --> 00:20:23,288
His legacy... an empty satchel
482
00:20:23,413 --> 00:20:25,933
that lights up when you open it!
483
00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:27,977
You're not cute.
484
00:20:28,284 --> 00:20:30,437
I'm telling you, a girl's friends
485
00:20:30,603 --> 00:20:32,897
get in her ear, it is over.
486
00:20:33,022 --> 00:20:35,734
They're all, "Make him
take you to a restaurant.
487
00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:37,268
Make him buy you sandals."
488
00:20:37,393 --> 00:20:38,970
I don't care what every single person
489
00:20:39,095 --> 00:20:42,950
on Earth says... you're hilarious.
490
00:20:43,950 --> 00:20:45,829
Sync.