1 00:00:00,092 --> 00:00:06,306 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:07,947 --> 00:00:10,905 ♪ Good morning, USA! ♪ 3 00:00:11,025 --> 00:00:14,583 ♪ I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 4 00:00:14,651 --> 00:00:17,520 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 5 00:00:17,587 --> 00:00:21,691 ♪ And he's shining a salute to the American race ♪ 6 00:00:23,794 --> 00:00:27,312 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 7 00:00:27,364 --> 00:00:29,115 ♪ Good... ♪ ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 8 00:00:29,166 --> 00:00:30,499 Aah! 9 00:00:32,002 --> 00:00:35,187 ♪ Good morning, USA! ♪ 10 00:00:39,659 --> 00:00:41,927 Oh, my. What a cute beret. 11 00:00:41,995 --> 00:00:43,896 Cute?! Puppies are cute! 12 00:00:43,964 --> 00:00:46,015 Reese Witherspoon before children was cute. 13 00:00:46,083 --> 00:00:48,634 Ma'am, this hat symbolizes the Army's transition 14 00:00:48,702 --> 00:00:50,169 into a 21st-century fighting force 15 00:00:50,237 --> 00:00:51,854 with the power to slug it out 16 00:00:51,938 --> 00:00:53,422 and win campaigns decisively! 17 00:00:53,490 --> 00:00:56,692 It must be fun to play an Army guy. 18 00:00:56,777 --> 00:00:58,177 Play?! Puppies play! 19 00:00:58,245 --> 00:01:00,413 Reese Witherspoon plays to her strengths 20 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:02,198 when she takes on middle-of-the-road 21 00:01:02,265 --> 00:01:04,467 romantic comedies like Sweet Home Alabama! 22 00:01:04,534 --> 00:01:06,469 Ma'am, Sergeant Pepper serves his country 23 00:01:06,536 --> 00:01:08,571 in the Army Reserves, preserving freedom! 24 00:01:08,655 --> 00:01:10,072 No matter how dangerous it gets, 25 00:01:10,140 --> 00:01:11,924 no matter who I have to kill... 26 00:01:14,244 --> 00:01:16,529 ♪ He's a coldhearted snake ♪ 27 00:01:16,596 --> 00:01:19,014 ♪ Look into his eyes ♪ 28 00:01:19,082 --> 00:01:20,649 ♪ Uh-oh ♪ 29 00:01:20,717 --> 00:01:22,051 ♪ He's been telling lies ♪ 30 00:01:22,119 --> 00:01:23,819 ♪ He's a lover boy at play... ♪ 31 00:01:23,887 --> 00:01:25,638 Oh, I have to take this. 32 00:01:28,125 --> 00:01:29,625 I love hanging out with your parents. 33 00:01:29,693 --> 00:01:31,026 They were right about my colors. 34 00:01:31,094 --> 00:01:32,328 I am an autumn. 35 00:01:32,395 --> 00:01:34,530 Yeah, my folks are the best. 36 00:01:34,598 --> 00:01:36,499 Hey, Dads. 37 00:01:37,968 --> 00:01:39,668 Why are we pretending to be his parents again? 38 00:01:39,736 --> 00:01:41,036 Because neither one of us 39 00:01:41,104 --> 00:01:42,738 has anything left to say to each other. 40 00:01:42,806 --> 00:01:44,039 You know what I'm talking about. 41 00:01:44,107 --> 00:01:45,775 We're bored, and we've been bored for years. 44 00:01:51,615 --> 00:01:54,350 I was in IKEA, and I couldn't figure out how to leave. 45 00:01:54,417 --> 00:01:56,152 Every path led back to "Home Office." 46 00:01:56,219 --> 00:01:57,887 It's okay, Dr. Penguin. 47 00:01:57,954 --> 00:02:00,523 I've been feeling really guilty about... 48 00:02:00,590 --> 00:02:02,091 Hold on. 49 00:02:06,129 --> 00:02:07,263 Well, I've just been... 50 00:02:07,330 --> 00:02:09,965 Oh, hang on. 51 00:02:10,033 --> 00:02:11,700 There we go. Shoot. 52 00:02:11,768 --> 00:02:13,953 Dr. Penguin, I'm still hiding 53 00:02:14,020 --> 00:02:16,055 my new girlfriend from my mom and dad. 54 00:02:16,122 --> 00:02:17,690 Uh-oh. That's normal-- 55 00:02:17,757 --> 00:02:19,492 a teenager embarrassed of his parents. 56 00:02:19,559 --> 00:02:21,093 It's more than that. 57 00:02:21,161 --> 00:02:22,728 I've actually been pretending my neighbors, 58 00:02:22,796 --> 00:02:24,530 Greg and Terry, are my parents. 59 00:02:24,598 --> 00:02:26,999 Yes, I know them. I painted them. 60 00:02:29,402 --> 00:02:31,670 My folks would be devastated if they knew the truth. 61 00:02:31,738 --> 00:02:33,305 What should I do? 62 00:02:35,709 --> 00:02:38,677 Wow. I am hungrier than I thought. 63 00:02:42,449 --> 00:02:43,649 And you need to keep lying. 64 00:02:43,717 --> 00:02:44,783 What?! 65 00:02:44,851 --> 00:02:46,085 Eventually, it'll become second nature 66 00:02:46,152 --> 00:02:47,586 and you'll stop feeling guilty. 67 00:02:47,654 --> 00:02:48,921 Okay. 68 00:02:48,989 --> 00:02:50,155 Thanks, Dr. Penguin. 69 00:02:50,223 --> 00:02:51,290 I always feel safe here. 70 00:02:51,358 --> 00:02:52,491 How many times have you 71 00:02:52,559 --> 00:02:54,026 been playing with yourself a day? 72 00:02:54,094 --> 00:02:55,694 Three. We're going to up that to five. 73 00:02:55,762 --> 00:02:57,096 You can take this prescription 74 00:02:57,163 --> 00:02:59,565 to any room in the house with Kleenex and have it filled. 75 00:02:59,633 --> 00:03:01,166 Thanks, Doc. 76 00:03:01,234 --> 00:03:04,336 Ugh. I can't believe the family comes to you for therapy. 77 00:03:04,404 --> 00:03:06,272 People shouldn't ignore their emotions 78 00:03:06,339 --> 00:03:07,673 and avoid their problems. 79 00:03:07,741 --> 00:03:09,742 What do you know? You're just a stupid fish. 80 00:03:09,809 --> 00:03:12,444 I am a man in a fish's body. 81 00:03:12,512 --> 00:03:15,097 I studied psychology at Frankfurt University! 82 00:03:15,165 --> 00:03:17,199 If they came to me with their problems, 83 00:03:17,267 --> 00:03:19,735 I could actually help them, not to mention get 84 00:03:19,803 --> 00:03:22,805 the respect I deserve in this family! 85 00:03:22,873 --> 00:03:24,189 Snow globe! 86 00:03:24,257 --> 00:03:26,842 No! Nooooooo! 87 00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:29,245 I've got a couple more hours here at the office, honey, 88 00:03:29,312 --> 00:03:31,397 but I'll definitely be home for dinner. 89 00:03:31,464 --> 00:03:33,032 Babe, I got to go. 90 00:03:33,066 --> 00:03:35,467 Somebody just dropped a bunch of work on my desk. 91 00:03:37,370 --> 00:03:39,271 What? 92 00:03:39,339 --> 00:03:41,407 I eat here every day before I go home 93 00:03:41,474 --> 00:03:43,375 because I can't stand my wife's cooking. 94 00:03:43,443 --> 00:03:45,144 What, you never lie to your wife? 95 00:03:45,211 --> 00:03:46,378 Sir, I'm a woman. 96 00:03:46,446 --> 00:03:47,780 Uh, of course you are. 97 00:03:47,847 --> 00:03:49,248 I should have noticed. You're clearly pregnant. 98 00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:50,316 No, I'm not. 99 00:03:50,383 --> 00:03:51,483 Of course you're not. 100 00:03:51,551 --> 00:03:52,918 You're far too old to be pregnant. 101 00:03:52,986 --> 00:03:54,119 I'm 23. 102 00:03:54,187 --> 00:03:55,638 Well, I would apologize to you 103 00:03:55,705 --> 00:03:57,840 if you didn't look like a fat old man. 104 00:03:59,292 --> 00:04:00,893 It doesn't mean I love her any less. 105 00:04:00,961 --> 00:04:02,261 It's just her food, right? 106 00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:04,196 Of course. What's important here 107 00:04:04,264 --> 00:04:06,665 is to avoid the truth at all costs. 108 00:04:06,733 --> 00:04:08,901 I've always said, "What's important here 109 00:04:08,969 --> 00:04:10,836 is to avoid the truth at all costs." 110 00:04:10,904 --> 00:04:12,738 Jeff, we're ready for you. 111 00:04:14,107 --> 00:04:15,474 Hey. 112 00:04:15,542 --> 00:04:16,942 Hi. 113 00:04:22,382 --> 00:04:24,249 Whenever Hayley wants to have sex, 114 00:04:24,317 --> 00:04:26,652 I have to think about Francine. 115 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:28,170 It's the only way I can get excited. 116 00:04:28,238 --> 00:04:30,339 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 117 00:04:30,407 --> 00:04:32,074 Jeff, do you have belly hair? 118 00:04:32,142 --> 00:04:33,575 What? We'll circle back, Jeff. 119 00:04:33,643 --> 00:04:35,945 My advice to you is to stop worrying about it. 120 00:04:36,012 --> 00:04:37,746 Ugh. What?! 121 00:04:37,814 --> 00:04:39,748 It's natural to think about Francine 122 00:04:39,816 --> 00:04:41,083 when you're sleeping with Hayley. 123 00:04:41,151 --> 00:04:42,685 No! That's terrible advice! 124 00:04:42,752 --> 00:04:45,087 What people don't know can't hurt them. 125 00:04:45,155 --> 00:04:46,989 Oh, you're so wise, Dr. P. 126 00:04:47,057 --> 00:04:48,958 No! Listen to me! 127 00:04:49,025 --> 00:04:50,859 Relationships are much stronger 128 00:04:50,927 --> 00:04:53,462 when they are based on truth and honesty. 129 00:04:54,998 --> 00:04:57,099 Punch a fish, make a wish. 130 00:04:57,167 --> 00:04:59,435 Can Cost Plus make something 131 00:04:59,502 --> 00:05:02,571 that doesn't smell funny and break two days later? 132 00:05:05,375 --> 00:05:07,409 So nice of you to have me to dinner. 133 00:05:07,477 --> 00:05:09,278 I don't ordinarily dine with my patients. 134 00:05:09,346 --> 00:05:11,313 I tend to suck on food erotically, 135 00:05:11,381 --> 00:05:12,881 and it makes people uncomfortable. 136 00:05:12,949 --> 00:05:14,817 Lentils are ready. 137 00:05:17,687 --> 00:05:19,922 Delicious! 138 00:05:23,877 --> 00:05:24,994 Mail came. 139 00:05:25,061 --> 00:05:26,628 I'm going to eat after I do my miles. 140 00:05:32,986 --> 00:05:34,953 Mmm! Mmm. Mmm. 141 00:05:35,021 --> 00:05:36,588 Who's Sergeant Pepper? 142 00:05:37,857 --> 00:05:39,458 Well, thank you for a lovely evening. 143 00:05:39,526 --> 00:05:41,326 I see you didn't open the wine I brought, 144 00:05:41,394 --> 00:05:43,412 so I am taking it with me. 145 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:46,131 Just drinking a nice young Beaujolais with the boys. 146 00:05:46,182 --> 00:05:47,332 Heard I got some mail. 147 00:05:49,569 --> 00:05:51,136 Oh. I see. 148 00:05:51,204 --> 00:05:52,371 It's happened. 149 00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:54,173 I've been called on to serve. 150 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,308 What? Where? In Iraq. 151 00:05:56,376 --> 00:05:58,277 Oh, no! It's all right, ma'am. 152 00:05:58,344 --> 00:06:00,813 That's what all that training was for, I suppose. 153 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:04,149 Say your prayers, Iraqis, and I'll say mine. 154 00:06:04,217 --> 00:06:05,951 Ow! I stepped on that glass! 155 00:06:06,019 --> 00:06:08,387 I stepped on that mother-lovin' glass! 156 00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:10,489 You're all sued when I get back! 157 00:06:10,557 --> 00:06:12,424 Wait. Can I still see Dr. Penguin? 158 00:06:12,492 --> 00:06:14,259 If Pepper's going to Iraq, 159 00:06:14,327 --> 00:06:16,628 I think it's pretty obvious that Dr. Penguin 160 00:06:16,696 --> 00:06:19,698 will be staying with his Aunt Evelyn for a while. 161 00:06:20,934 --> 00:06:22,551 Wait. You can't go to Iraq. 162 00:06:22,619 --> 00:06:24,219 I'm still lying to Jeff 163 00:06:24,287 --> 00:06:26,188 about where I go when I say I'm jogging. 164 00:06:26,272 --> 00:06:28,357 I need Dr. Penguin to tell me it's fine. 165 00:06:28,441 --> 00:06:30,826 No can do. It's official. 166 00:06:34,114 --> 00:06:36,432 Bye-bye, Dr. Penguin! 167 00:06:36,499 --> 00:06:39,768 Dr. Klaus is in the house. 168 00:06:39,836 --> 00:06:43,272 Well, who else shall I send to Iraq? 169 00:06:43,339 --> 00:06:47,142 That jerk at the dry cleaners who lost my tie. 170 00:06:50,897 --> 00:06:52,881 How could this happen? 171 00:06:52,949 --> 00:06:54,983 You're not even in the Reserves. 172 00:06:55,051 --> 00:06:57,276 Don't worry. I know a place where they'll never find me. 173 00:07:10,298 --> 00:07:12,701 Shh... 174 00:07:20,777 --> 00:07:22,340 Save your tears, maggots. 175 00:07:22,460 --> 00:07:24,646 I'm off to Iraq to preserve your freedom. 176 00:07:24,823 --> 00:07:27,458 Keep you in two-ply toilet paper and soy milk. 177 00:07:27,526 --> 00:07:30,027 You pansies make me sick! 178 00:07:30,095 --> 00:07:31,262 Mmm. Mmm, mmm. 179 00:07:31,329 --> 00:07:32,496 Wait for me. 180 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,201 Good day to everyone. 181 00:07:37,269 --> 00:07:39,803 I just wanted to say that I will be taking over 182 00:07:39,871 --> 00:07:42,106 Dr. Penguin's practice while he's away. 183 00:07:42,174 --> 00:07:43,574 You can't just put on glasses 184 00:07:43,642 --> 00:07:45,276 and pretend to be a doctor, Klaus. 185 00:07:45,343 --> 00:07:48,245 The glasses are prescription, and I am not pretending. 186 00:07:48,313 --> 00:07:50,147 Ugh. Stop talking, fish. 187 00:07:50,215 --> 00:07:52,149 I am not a fish. 188 00:07:52,217 --> 00:07:54,752 I am a man in a fish's body. 189 00:07:54,819 --> 00:07:56,820 Look, all of you have serious issues, 190 00:07:56,888 --> 00:07:58,622 and I can help you. 191 00:07:58,690 --> 00:08:01,792 Now, I will have office hours in the attic from 9:00 to 5:00. 192 00:08:04,162 --> 00:08:05,462 Or whenever. 193 00:08:05,530 --> 00:08:06,897 Any time is good. 194 00:08:06,965 --> 00:08:07,998 If you can't find me, 195 00:08:08,066 --> 00:08:08,999 check the pantry. 196 00:08:09,067 --> 00:08:10,067 I go in there 197 00:08:10,135 --> 00:08:11,101 to eat baking chocolate 198 00:08:11,169 --> 00:08:12,336 and cry sometimes. 199 00:08:15,907 --> 00:08:17,741 Can you help me, Klaus? 200 00:08:24,749 --> 00:08:26,984 Of course I can help you. 201 00:08:27,052 --> 00:08:29,019 I can't find my phone. Have you seen it? 202 00:08:29,087 --> 00:08:30,387 Ph-Phone?! 203 00:08:30,455 --> 00:08:33,057 But what about the lies you tell your husband? 204 00:08:33,124 --> 00:08:34,225 Oh, wait. 205 00:08:34,292 --> 00:08:36,060 I left it in the kitchen. 206 00:08:42,734 --> 00:08:45,436 You hear an IED blew a troop transport 207 00:08:45,503 --> 00:08:46,937 over on its side yesterday? Yes, Sergeant. 208 00:08:47,022 --> 00:08:48,872 On the got-dang main road. 209 00:08:48,940 --> 00:08:50,407 Till they get a Boomerang 210 00:08:50,475 --> 00:08:52,343 anti-sniper system on that son of a bitch, 211 00:08:52,410 --> 00:08:54,545 I'd rather drag ass through the streets on foot. 212 00:08:54,613 --> 00:08:56,380 Uh, Sarge, the bot isn't working. 213 00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:57,848 It stopped halfway to the target. 214 00:09:04,189 --> 00:09:05,422 I'm suiting up. 215 00:09:05,507 --> 00:09:06,473 But, sir, don't you think... 216 00:09:06,541 --> 00:09:07,608 I don't think. 217 00:09:07,676 --> 00:09:08,943 That's why I'm the perfect soldier. 218 00:09:09,010 --> 00:09:10,911 And the perfect guy to watch movies with. 219 00:09:10,979 --> 00:09:13,297 I don't poke holes. I just enjoy the ride. 220 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,518 Give me some sizzle. 221 00:09:26,745 --> 00:09:28,929 I'm going in on foot. 222 00:09:43,461 --> 00:09:46,397 He is the ballsiest outhouse cleaner we got. 223 00:09:46,464 --> 00:09:49,099 Let's do this. 224 00:09:53,221 --> 00:09:54,855 Oh, we got a meat clog, Private. 225 00:09:54,923 --> 00:09:56,857 Up the suction. 226 00:09:59,661 --> 00:10:01,729 No one showed up to my office hours, Charlie. 227 00:10:01,796 --> 00:10:05,332 I... I just can't get them to take me seriously. 228 00:10:06,801 --> 00:10:09,353 Why, that's good advice, Charlie. 229 00:10:09,421 --> 00:10:11,422 I'll... I'll try that. 230 00:10:11,489 --> 00:10:13,741 What? Now, that's strange. 231 00:10:13,808 --> 00:10:16,143 Did you wait three days to cash it like I asked you? 232 00:10:16,211 --> 00:10:17,745 Because I have the money. 233 00:10:17,812 --> 00:10:20,814 I have, like, way more money than that, even. 234 00:10:22,684 --> 00:10:25,519 I don't have very much money. 235 00:10:27,922 --> 00:10:30,507 Here we go. 236 00:10:30,575 --> 00:10:33,444 No more Mr. Nice Guy. 237 00:10:33,511 --> 00:10:35,245 Hello, Stan. 238 00:10:35,313 --> 00:10:36,914 What now? 239 00:10:36,981 --> 00:10:39,049 What now? Oh, nothing. 240 00:10:39,117 --> 00:10:42,753 Just that Steve has a girlfriend he hasn't introduced you to. 241 00:10:42,821 --> 00:10:45,122 What? He doesn't have a girlfriend. 242 00:10:45,190 --> 00:10:47,057 He does. 243 00:10:47,125 --> 00:10:49,293 He's so embarrassed of you and Francine 244 00:10:49,361 --> 00:10:51,962 that he's pretending Greg and Terry are his parents. 245 00:10:52,030 --> 00:10:53,814 Look, there they are now, 246 00:10:53,882 --> 00:10:55,549 acting out Rocky Horror. 247 00:11:00,422 --> 00:11:02,122 Francine, get in here. 248 00:11:02,190 --> 00:11:04,224 What happened? Did I win? 249 00:11:04,292 --> 00:11:06,160 Steve is pretending that Greg and Terry are his parents! 250 00:11:06,227 --> 00:11:07,494 What? 251 00:11:07,545 --> 00:11:09,446 That little son of a b's got a girlfriend 252 00:11:09,514 --> 00:11:11,315 and he's hiding us from her because he's embarrassed. 253 00:11:11,383 --> 00:11:13,434 You should talk to a professional. 254 00:11:13,501 --> 00:11:15,069 Now, my office hours are 9:00 to-- 255 00:11:15,136 --> 00:11:16,754 That four-eyed bastard! 256 00:11:16,838 --> 00:11:19,390 That malnourished, pasty geek! 257 00:11:19,457 --> 00:11:21,592 I knew I should've aborted him. 258 00:11:21,659 --> 00:11:22,726 Goodness! 259 00:11:26,398 --> 00:11:27,898 How you doing in there, Sarge? 260 00:11:27,966 --> 00:11:30,717 It's 110 in here and I'm on the wrong end 261 00:11:30,769 --> 00:11:32,686 of a falafel plate, that's how I'm doing. 262 00:11:32,754 --> 00:11:35,139 Damn it! The Shnozzle attachment fell in. 263 00:11:36,991 --> 00:11:38,325 I don't like this, it's too quiet. 264 00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:39,193 Get outta there, Sarge. 265 00:11:39,260 --> 00:11:40,994 Just need a few more seconds... 266 00:11:46,835 --> 00:11:48,268 Oh. 267 00:11:48,336 --> 00:11:49,236 Sarge, don't go in! 268 00:11:49,304 --> 00:11:50,204 It's not worth it! 269 00:11:59,731 --> 00:12:01,632 We got a native inbound! 270 00:12:01,699 --> 00:12:02,699 Come on! Get outta there. 271 00:12:02,767 --> 00:12:04,435 Oh, man! Oh, man! 272 00:12:04,502 --> 00:12:05,836 Maybe he's just going number one. 273 00:12:05,904 --> 00:12:10,441 He's got a magazine! 274 00:12:10,508 --> 00:12:13,377 Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. 275 00:12:23,922 --> 00:12:25,689 We know you have a girlfriend! 276 00:12:25,757 --> 00:12:27,791 Me?! A girlfriend?! 277 00:12:27,859 --> 00:12:29,393 Isn't that a little far fetched? 278 00:12:29,461 --> 00:12:30,794 It is a little far fetched... 279 00:12:30,862 --> 00:12:32,196 You just saw her, Stan! 280 00:12:32,263 --> 00:12:33,597 I just saw her, Steve! 281 00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:34,765 Klaus, what the hell?! 282 00:12:34,833 --> 00:12:36,066 What the hell, you! 283 00:12:36,134 --> 00:12:38,619 Tell them how you feel, Steve. 284 00:12:38,686 --> 00:12:40,387 I feel like I can't bring anyone around here 285 00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:41,672 'cause Dad's a lunatic! 286 00:12:41,756 --> 00:12:43,073 And if he doesn't drive 'em away, 287 00:12:43,141 --> 00:12:44,708 Mom's food will probably kill them! 288 00:12:44,776 --> 00:12:46,059 How dare you! 289 00:12:46,127 --> 00:12:47,478 I'm a great cook! 290 00:12:47,545 --> 00:12:49,046 Yes! The best! So much! 291 00:12:49,113 --> 00:12:52,866 Come on, Stan, it's your turn to be honest. 292 00:12:52,934 --> 00:12:55,269 Leaving work at 4:00 every day... 293 00:12:55,336 --> 00:12:56,737 the pre-eating... 294 00:12:56,804 --> 00:12:58,205 What's he talking about? 295 00:12:58,273 --> 00:13:00,507 Sometimes I'll have a snack before dinner... 296 00:13:00,575 --> 00:13:02,009 Your cooking goes here! 297 00:13:04,913 --> 00:13:07,598 He hasn't eaten a meal of yours in ten years! 298 00:13:07,665 --> 00:13:10,200 Some of these wolves are fourth generation! 299 00:13:10,268 --> 00:13:11,802 Inbred dinner wolves! 300 00:13:11,870 --> 00:13:13,203 This is what I'm talking about! 301 00:13:13,271 --> 00:13:14,671 Embarrassing! 302 00:13:14,739 --> 00:13:17,007 Stan, you have some nerve! 303 00:13:17,075 --> 00:13:18,342 Francine. 304 00:13:18,409 --> 00:13:20,494 The "emergency fund?" 305 00:13:20,562 --> 00:13:22,246 Wait, wait, wait, what's the emergency fund? 306 00:13:22,313 --> 00:13:25,682 So I take $50 from your wallet every week. 307 00:13:25,750 --> 00:13:26,884 For... 308 00:13:26,951 --> 00:13:28,151 Drugs. 309 00:13:28,219 --> 00:13:29,853 What?! Drugs. 310 00:13:29,921 --> 00:13:32,055 Drugs, okay? 311 00:13:32,123 --> 00:13:33,840 Jeff and Hayley, come in. 312 00:13:33,892 --> 00:13:36,810 We're undoing years of damage caused by Dr. Penguin. 313 00:13:36,878 --> 00:13:39,079 Come on, Jeff, out with it. 314 00:13:39,147 --> 00:13:40,430 No way. 315 00:13:40,498 --> 00:13:42,766 I'll start you off and you finish. 316 00:13:42,834 --> 00:13:46,870 Hayley, Jeff can only have sex with you if... 317 00:13:46,938 --> 00:13:48,772 if... 318 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:50,290 he's thinking about your mother. 319 00:13:50,358 --> 00:13:52,359 Oops, I said the whole thing. 320 00:13:52,427 --> 00:13:53,760 That's sick! 321 00:13:53,828 --> 00:13:55,762 Hayley, you should be honest about 322 00:13:55,830 --> 00:13:58,865 what you really do when you go "jogging." 323 00:13:58,933 --> 00:14:00,100 You shut your mouth. 324 00:14:00,168 --> 00:14:02,102 She's playing Ultimate Frisbee without you. 325 00:14:02,170 --> 00:14:03,870 Noooo! 326 00:14:03,938 --> 00:14:05,706 Why, Hayley?! Why?! 327 00:14:05,773 --> 00:14:07,007 Because this is you throwing. 328 00:14:07,075 --> 00:14:08,041 "Ehh." 329 00:14:08,109 --> 00:14:09,176 And this is you catching. 330 00:14:09,244 --> 00:14:10,310 "Ahh!" 331 00:14:10,378 --> 00:14:12,246 That's wonderful mime work! 332 00:14:12,313 --> 00:14:15,749 I guess you're just good at everything! 333 00:14:15,817 --> 00:14:18,085 Jeff, wait! Now that the truth is out, 334 00:14:18,152 --> 00:14:21,021 we need to discuss ways for you and Hayley to regain intimacy! 335 00:14:21,089 --> 00:14:22,456 Yeah, Jeff, come back. 336 00:14:22,523 --> 00:14:23,924 I came out of your favorite place. 337 00:14:23,992 --> 00:14:25,692 Maybe you can still smell it on me! 338 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:29,096 I guess Jeff gets turned on by thieves, huh, Francine? 339 00:14:29,163 --> 00:14:31,365 Shut up, you pre-eating douche bag! 340 00:14:31,432 --> 00:14:35,469 Okay, guys, guys, if we do the work, we can get through this... 341 00:14:35,536 --> 00:14:37,387 This is why I don't bring my girlfriend home! 342 00:14:37,455 --> 00:14:39,373 You know what they're doing at my two dads' house? 343 00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:40,741 Eating cheeses! 344 00:14:40,808 --> 00:14:41,694 From Europe! 345 00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:43,398 Sans crackers! 346 00:14:43,518 --> 00:14:45,860 That's right, I said a French word! 347 00:14:45,913 --> 00:14:47,614 I learned it over there! 348 00:14:47,682 --> 00:14:49,483 Au revoir, les enfants! 349 00:14:49,550 --> 00:14:51,715 That means you! 350 00:14:51,950 --> 00:14:55,489 Well, this feels like a natural stopping point. 351 00:15:07,575 --> 00:15:09,126 Aah! Stop it, Stan! 352 00:15:09,246 --> 00:15:10,736 You destroyed my family! 353 00:15:10,856 --> 00:15:13,252 But if you would all just listen to me, I could fix it! 354 00:15:13,381 --> 00:15:15,382 The only one who can fix this is Dr. Penguin! 355 00:15:15,450 --> 00:15:17,417 Ow, okay, fine! 356 00:15:17,485 --> 00:15:20,504 For some reason, Roger is the only therapist you'll listen to! 357 00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:22,072 I'll get him back! 358 00:15:22,140 --> 00:15:24,910 How the hell is a fish going to get an alien back from Iraq? 359 00:15:38,126 --> 00:15:39,389 Where's Sergeant Pepper? 360 00:15:39,457 --> 00:15:40,724 Are you in the Army? 361 00:15:40,792 --> 00:15:42,159 Are you in the dummy? 362 00:15:42,226 --> 00:15:43,360 Now where's Pepper? 363 00:15:43,428 --> 00:15:44,961 He's in the Rec Tent. 364 00:15:45,029 --> 00:15:48,432 If you ever need some bitches, remember, White James. 365 00:15:54,989 --> 00:15:56,923 You Sergeant Pepper? 366 00:15:56,991 --> 00:15:59,209 You the one who cleaned the toilet by the grotto? 367 00:15:59,277 --> 00:16:00,761 Uh, uh, yes, sir. 368 00:16:00,828 --> 00:16:02,763 You're a wild man, you know that? 369 00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:04,564 He's a wild man, you know that? 370 00:16:04,632 --> 00:16:06,283 I wanna shake your hand. 371 00:16:06,350 --> 00:16:07,517 Thank you, sir. 372 00:16:07,602 --> 00:16:09,836 How many toilets have you cleaned? 373 00:16:09,904 --> 00:16:10,871 I'm not quite sure... 374 00:16:10,938 --> 00:16:12,806 Sergeant, I asked you a question. 375 00:16:12,857 --> 00:16:14,291 Eight hundred and seventy-three. 376 00:16:14,358 --> 00:16:18,161 Eight hundred... and seventy-three. 377 00:16:18,229 --> 00:16:19,529 That has to be a record. 378 00:16:19,597 --> 00:16:22,232 What's the best way to clean one of them stink holes? 379 00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:24,601 The way that you don't get turd in your hair, sir. 380 00:16:24,669 --> 00:16:27,804 That's a good one. 381 00:16:27,872 --> 00:16:29,740 Spoken like a wild man. 382 00:16:31,542 --> 00:16:32,876 Sergeant Pepper. 383 00:16:32,944 --> 00:16:34,745 You've been officially discharged. 384 00:16:36,581 --> 00:16:37,931 Nothin' doin'. 385 00:16:37,999 --> 00:16:40,500 I can't fit in with civilized society no more! 386 00:16:40,568 --> 00:16:42,068 When I go to bed at night, 387 00:16:42,136 --> 00:16:44,855 I see men hovering over me with their naked asses in my face. 388 00:16:44,922 --> 00:16:46,389 I'm not ready to leave that. 389 00:16:48,493 --> 00:16:49,693 Ugh, bring me up! 390 00:16:49,761 --> 00:16:52,462 Let me talk to him! 391 00:16:52,530 --> 00:16:54,197 But you have to come back! 392 00:16:54,265 --> 00:16:56,500 I ruined the family! 393 00:16:56,567 --> 00:16:58,635 They need Dr. Penguin! 394 00:16:58,703 --> 00:17:01,004 Tough Titicacas. 395 00:17:01,072 --> 00:17:03,206 What now, White James? 396 00:17:03,274 --> 00:17:05,909 You always think of something, Klaus. 397 00:17:05,977 --> 00:17:07,244 Like when you convinced my parents 398 00:17:07,328 --> 00:17:08,595 to let me go to art school. 399 00:17:16,003 --> 00:17:19,339 Good-bye, Sergeant Pepper. 400 00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:33,503 What am I doing here?! 401 00:17:33,571 --> 00:17:35,505 This isn't a Chablis. 402 00:17:35,573 --> 00:17:36,840 This isn't my aunt's place! 403 00:17:36,908 --> 00:17:38,108 Aunt Evelyn?! 404 00:17:38,176 --> 00:17:39,810 Aunt Evelyn! It's me, Rafael! 405 00:17:39,877 --> 00:17:41,344 Rafael Penguin! 406 00:17:41,412 --> 00:17:43,013 Good morning, Dr. Penguin. 407 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:44,214 Ready to come home? 408 00:17:46,584 --> 00:17:48,185 Hold onto your wallets. 409 00:17:48,252 --> 00:17:49,252 Thief's in the room. 410 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:50,253 Cute. 411 00:17:50,321 --> 00:17:52,289 If you even look at her, 412 00:17:52,356 --> 00:17:54,558 I'll pour this hot coffee down your pants, pervert. 413 00:17:54,625 --> 00:17:55,892 Yeah, well, it'll be the first time 414 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,211 you got me hot in a while, Frisbee whore. 415 00:17:58,279 --> 00:18:00,163 Oh, look who it is. 416 00:18:00,231 --> 00:18:01,748 The ungrateful son. 417 00:18:01,816 --> 00:18:03,683 Leave me alone, embarrassing straight parents 418 00:18:03,751 --> 00:18:05,185 or I'll pee in your cereal! 419 00:18:05,253 --> 00:18:06,586 Oh, good, you're all here! 420 00:18:06,654 --> 00:18:08,588 I have a surprise for you! 421 00:18:08,656 --> 00:18:11,358 What's black and white and lives in Antarctica?! 422 00:18:11,425 --> 00:18:13,360 Halle Berry if she moves to Antarctica? 423 00:18:13,427 --> 00:18:16,162 No, but that's funny. 424 00:18:16,230 --> 00:18:17,163 Very funny. 425 00:18:17,231 --> 00:18:19,165 It's Dr. Penguin! 426 00:18:19,233 --> 00:18:21,017 Dr. Penguin! You're back! 427 00:18:21,085 --> 00:18:22,152 Oh, thank god! Help us! 428 00:18:22,220 --> 00:18:23,453 Don't worry, don't worry. 429 00:18:23,521 --> 00:18:25,088 Klaus filled me in on the whole situation. 430 00:18:25,156 --> 00:18:26,606 Here's what you all have to do. 431 00:18:28,743 --> 00:18:30,560 Everybody go back to lying to each other. 432 00:18:31,562 --> 00:18:32,646 That's not going to work. 433 00:18:32,713 --> 00:18:34,231 The secrets are all out in the open. 434 00:18:34,298 --> 00:18:35,398 We can't just forget them. 435 00:18:35,466 --> 00:18:36,600 Oh. 436 00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:37,834 Well. That's my only thing. 437 00:18:37,919 --> 00:18:39,002 I can't help you. 438 00:18:39,070 --> 00:18:41,120 I guess I'm done with Dr. Penguin. 439 00:18:41,172 --> 00:18:45,442 Okay, now we can deal with our problems the healthy way... 440 00:18:45,509 --> 00:18:47,978 Suck it, fish! 441 00:18:48,045 --> 00:18:50,397 There! You hot and bothered now? Take that! 442 00:18:50,464 --> 00:18:52,566 That hot enough for you, Jeff? Whoa, oops! 443 00:18:52,633 --> 00:18:56,636 Time to catch up on current events. 444 00:18:56,704 --> 00:18:59,923 Oh, I see Taye Diggs is still perfect looking. 445 00:18:59,991 --> 00:19:02,459 That's comforting. 446 00:19:02,526 --> 00:19:03,793 He's my constant. 447 00:19:03,861 --> 00:19:05,729 My ebony North Star. 448 00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,364 Ach! I give up! 449 00:19:07,431 --> 00:19:08,598 What was that? I wasn't listening. 450 00:19:08,666 --> 00:19:10,100 See! That is the problem. 451 00:19:10,167 --> 00:19:11,835 No one listens to me. 452 00:19:11,903 --> 00:19:13,970 But now that their secrets are out, 453 00:19:14,038 --> 00:19:16,573 they have to work through them so they can heal! 454 00:19:16,641 --> 00:19:20,110 Wait, that actually makes sense. 455 00:19:20,177 --> 00:19:22,646 Maybe because I was looking at US Weekly and not you. 456 00:19:22,713 --> 00:19:24,314 I heard the words, 457 00:19:24,382 --> 00:19:26,650 but I didn't see them coming out of a stupid fish's mouth. 458 00:19:26,717 --> 00:19:28,101 Say something else. 459 00:19:28,169 --> 00:19:31,004 Why is there a hole in Daniel Craig's mouth? 460 00:19:31,072 --> 00:19:32,939 He was hungry and I was feeding him something. 461 00:19:33,007 --> 00:19:34,541 Put down that magazine! 462 00:19:36,310 --> 00:19:37,777 I did it! 463 00:19:37,845 --> 00:19:39,546 That's the first time I've listened to you. 464 00:19:39,614 --> 00:19:45,218 Maybe it's because it me from a man and not from a fish... 465 00:19:45,286 --> 00:19:46,653 I have an idea! 466 00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:49,356 Listen up, maggots! 467 00:19:49,423 --> 00:19:51,341 You people have major issues. 468 00:19:51,409 --> 00:19:53,777 You can't run from them all your lives. 469 00:19:53,844 --> 00:19:55,028 You need to face your problems! 470 00:19:55,079 --> 00:19:56,062 But... 471 00:19:57,365 --> 00:19:58,665 You, sack up and eat your wife's grub! 472 00:19:58,733 --> 00:20:00,800 And you missy, you take your emergency fund 473 00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:02,802 and sign up for a cooking class! 474 00:20:02,870 --> 00:20:04,204 And you, bring your girlfriend to dinner! 475 00:20:04,271 --> 00:20:06,106 Be grateful you have two parents who love you! 476 00:20:06,173 --> 00:20:07,874 And that you don't come from a broken home 477 00:20:07,942 --> 00:20:09,042 like Reese Witherspoon's kids. 478 00:20:09,110 --> 00:20:11,211 Damn I love that girl! Plucky! 479 00:20:11,278 --> 00:20:13,196 And you, gussy up for your husband! 480 00:20:13,264 --> 00:20:15,632 Maybe some sort of bra?! And wash your hair. 481 00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:17,067 Hippies are not sexy, they're dirty! 482 00:20:17,134 --> 00:20:18,551 Exactly! 483 00:20:18,602 --> 00:20:21,271 And you, if you're tossing it to your mother-in-law 484 00:20:21,339 --> 00:20:22,656 it damn well better be a Frisbee! 485 00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:24,724 Sir, yes, sir! 486 00:20:24,792 --> 00:20:27,093 Hey, no one is dismissed! 487 00:20:27,161 --> 00:20:28,862 Not until you thank this fish! 488 00:20:28,929 --> 00:20:30,630 These are all his ideas! 489 00:20:30,698 --> 00:20:32,799 I'm just an authoritative mouthpiece! 490 00:20:34,535 --> 00:20:37,137 Are these really all your ideas? 491 00:20:37,204 --> 00:20:38,705 Ja, they are. 492 00:20:38,773 --> 00:20:40,106 Wow. 493 00:20:40,174 --> 00:20:42,108 Sorry we didn't listen to you. 494 00:20:42,176 --> 00:20:44,978 Sometimes we forget you are a man in a fish's body. 495 00:20:45,046 --> 00:20:48,448 Oh, it feels so good to finally be validated. 496 00:20:48,516 --> 00:20:50,617 How can we ever thank you? 497 00:20:52,219 --> 00:20:54,187 Take your pick, Klaus. 498 00:20:54,255 --> 00:20:56,656 Your family paid for a full quarter hour. 499 00:20:56,724 --> 00:20:58,558 Eh... 500 00:20:58,626 --> 00:20:59,859 I'll take the ugly one. 501 00:21:01,962 --> 00:21:07,233 Time for Klaus to show how much of a man he really is. 502 00:21:08,836 --> 00:21:11,302 I'm not very much of a man! 503 00:21:11,622 --> 00:21:15,912 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com