1
00:00:04,733 --> 00:00:07,435
# Good morning, USA!
2
00:00:07,469 --> 00:00:10,938
# I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day #
3
00:00:10,972 --> 00:00:14,091
# The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face #
4
00:00:14,126 --> 00:00:17,678
# And he's shining a salute
to the American race #
5
00:00:20,449 --> 00:00:23,534
# Oh, boy, it's swell to say
6
00:00:23,552 --> 00:00:25,836
# Good...
# Good morning, USA
7
00:00:25,871 --> 00:00:27,088
Aah!
8
00:00:28,707 --> 00:00:31,776
# Good morning, USA!
9
00:00:36,698 --> 00:00:39,216
What the hell is this?
10
00:01:16,421 --> 00:01:18,355
My only possession!
11
00:01:18,390 --> 00:01:20,091
I-I don't know where to start here.
12
00:01:20,125 --> 00:01:22,243
Look at you two.
Best case scenario:
13
00:01:22,277 --> 00:01:23,894
you're telling me
you're gay with each other.
14
00:01:23,929 --> 00:01:25,045
Gay?
15
00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:27,214
We're about as far
from gay as you can be.
16
00:01:27,249 --> 00:01:28,949
Mr. Smith, if I may?
17
00:01:28,984 --> 00:01:31,886
Air guitar is aerobic,
encourages coordination,
18
00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:35,122
and coaxes a pretty good amount
of laughter out of the two of us
19
00:01:35,157 --> 00:01:37,625
which we all know
is good for the ticker.
20
00:01:38,860 --> 00:01:40,461
Get off my land.
21
00:01:40,495 --> 00:01:42,463
And a good day to you, sir.
22
00:01:42,497 --> 00:01:44,999
He's just walking home in that.
23
00:01:45,033 --> 00:01:47,868
Where-where's a rock?
I'm gonna throw a rock at him.
24
00:01:49,387 --> 00:01:51,439
Steve, you need to stop
hanging out with that loser.
25
00:01:51,473 --> 00:01:53,224
What? No way!
26
00:01:53,258 --> 00:01:54,625
He's my best friend!
27
00:01:54,643 --> 00:01:56,927
And I'll give you
five solid reasons why.
28
00:01:56,962 --> 00:02:00,581
He's sensible, thoughtful,
political, hilarious,
29
00:02:00,615 --> 00:02:03,134
and he always covers his mouth
when he sneezes.
30
00:02:03,168 --> 00:02:05,503
You get him sick,
he doesn't get you sick.
31
00:02:05,567 --> 00:02:07,852
Steve, I forbid you to see him again.
32
00:02:07,886 --> 00:02:10,171
Now take off those pants
and put on some normal clothes.
33
00:02:16,411 --> 00:02:18,078
Kid's got his mother's ass.
34
00:02:18,113 --> 00:02:20,347
Lucky son of a gun.
35
00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:25,686
Roger, thanks for letting me
36
00:02:25,704 --> 00:02:27,421
clean your place for the extra cash.
37
00:02:27,455 --> 00:02:30,207
No problem.
Here's your 50 bucks, kiddo.
38
00:02:30,242 --> 00:02:31,525
Oh, and here's some old sweatshirts.
39
00:02:31,543 --> 00:02:33,043
And one shoe.
40
00:02:33,078 --> 00:02:34,712
I-I don't have the other one.
41
00:02:34,746 --> 00:02:36,363
So, I don't know if you still...
42
00:02:36,381 --> 00:02:37,314
Is nice.
43
00:02:37,349 --> 00:02:39,300
I take.
44
00:02:45,357 --> 00:02:47,374
Gimme your money!
45
00:02:50,579 --> 00:02:52,730
Is that the "come back
and kick me" whistle?
46
00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:02,623
What the hell?
I thought I took care of this!
47
00:03:04,075 --> 00:03:06,193
Oh, stop!
48
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:08,195
This is ridiculous.
This is exactly why
49
00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:10,297
I told Steve to stop hanging out
with that kid.
50
00:03:10,332 --> 00:03:12,066
But, Stan, you can't break them up.
51
00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:13,334
They're best friends.
52
00:03:13,368 --> 00:03:15,002
- So?
- So...
53
00:03:15,036 --> 00:03:17,571
Didn't you have a best friend
when you were Steve's age?
54
00:03:17,606 --> 00:03:21,642
Oh, my God, you didn't.
55
00:03:21,676 --> 00:03:24,678
Francine, 12-year-old girls
have best friends.
56
00:03:24,713 --> 00:03:27,047
Little boys can only be
best friends with dragons.
57
00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:29,383
If you try and keep
Steve and Snot apart,
58
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:31,652
they're just going to hang out
behind your back.
59
00:03:31,686 --> 00:03:34,855
Well, then, I'll have to think
of a way to keep them apart.
60
00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:40,144
Ugh, those kids love being topless.
61
00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:42,379
That patch of hair
62
00:03:42,414 --> 00:03:45,983
in the small of Snot's back
makes me sick.
63
00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:49,486
Hey, Snot!
64
00:03:49,537 --> 00:03:51,405
Oh, hey, Mr. Smith.
65
00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:52,439
Listen, I was a little harsh
66
00:03:52,457 --> 00:03:53,774
with you and Steve in the garage.
67
00:03:53,792 --> 00:03:55,409
Thought I could make it up to you.
68
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:57,795
- You like ice cream?
- I do like ice cream.
69
00:03:57,829 --> 00:04:00,965
Unfortunately, it does not like me.
70
00:04:00,999 --> 00:04:03,751
It gives me the.
71
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,436
You'll power through.
72
00:04:07,939 --> 00:04:11,008
I like coffee ice cream,
73
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:13,744
but I don't like coffee.
74
00:04:13,778 --> 00:04:15,746
I mean... what do you think?
75
00:04:15,780 --> 00:04:18,315
Could that be a joke for Jerry Seinfeld?
76
00:04:18,350 --> 00:04:21,135
Hey, uh,
I gotta hit the head.
77
00:04:29,744 --> 00:04:32,146
Mr. Capelli says hello.
78
00:04:34,699 --> 00:04:37,818
No witnesses.
79
00:04:39,921 --> 00:04:41,655
That guy saw your face!
80
00:04:41,673 --> 00:04:42,790
They're gonna come after you!
81
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,341
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
82
00:04:44,376 --> 00:04:46,093
You can't go home.
They'll find you there.
83
00:04:46,127 --> 00:04:49,296
We gotta get you into the
CIA witness protection program!
84
00:04:52,767 --> 00:04:55,536
What do you think Stan's gonna
give us for doing this?
85
00:04:55,570 --> 00:04:57,271
I'm hoping a new set of corn holders.
86
00:04:57,305 --> 00:04:59,373
I've almost worn out
the last ones he gave us.
87
00:04:59,407 --> 00:05:00,641
Really?
88
00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:02,476
- Wow, you love corn.
- I do!
89
00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:03,911
But you don't like touching it.
90
00:05:03,945 --> 00:05:05,546
I do not.
91
00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:11,986
"Unknown number?"
92
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,755
Hmm. Be careful, Steve.
These calls can be dicey.
93
00:05:15,991 --> 00:05:18,092
Let's see if I can... whoo...
94
00:05:18,126 --> 00:05:19,827
navigate this.
95
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,428
Hello?
96
00:05:21,463 --> 00:05:23,080
Steve, it's me, Snot.
97
00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:24,815
Snot! Unknown number?
98
00:05:24,849 --> 00:05:26,083
W-w-what's going on?
99
00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:29,420
Listen, I have something to tell you.
100
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:31,922
- I moved to Cheyenne.
- You moved?!
101
00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:34,258
My mom liked the license plates.
102
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:35,592
They have a cowboy on them.
103
00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,444
But the carnival's this weekend.
104
00:05:37,479 --> 00:05:39,613
We always go to the carnival!
105
00:05:39,647 --> 00:05:41,782
Sorry, Steve.
106
00:05:41,816 --> 00:05:43,350
So when am I gonna see you again?
107
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,019
I don't...
108
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,854
I... I gotta go.
109
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:48,322
Good cover, kid.
110
00:05:48,356 --> 00:05:50,290
That crying bit
was top-notch.
111
00:05:50,325 --> 00:05:52,320
What did you think
about to make you cry?
112
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:55,012
Never seeing Steve again.
113
00:05:55,046 --> 00:05:57,584
You know what I think
about to make me cry?
114
00:05:58,178 --> 00:06:01,151
How Ron Howard
looks like Clint Howard now.
115
00:06:06,948 --> 00:06:10,084
All right, so if I'm gonna live here
116
00:06:10,118 --> 00:06:11,919
and start a whole new life,
117
00:06:11,953 --> 00:06:13,147
tell me about the neighborhood.
118
00:06:13,267 --> 00:06:15,422
Donuts and jazz, where do I go?
119
00:06:15,457 --> 00:06:17,024
You don't.
You're in hiding.
120
00:06:17,058 --> 00:06:18,012
You never leave this apartment.
121
00:06:18,179 --> 00:06:21,648
If anyone comes to the door,
your name is Sven Norqvist.
122
00:06:21,683 --> 00:06:23,817
Here, put this wig on.
123
00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:26,003
I always wanted blonde hair.
124
00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:28,505
Do I look like Rolf
from The Sound of Music?
125
00:06:28,539 --> 00:06:31,174
Yeah...
I-I don't know, kid.
126
00:06:31,209 --> 00:06:32,376
The fridge is full of food.
127
00:06:32,410 --> 00:06:34,161
I'll be back in a week to check on you.
128
00:06:34,195 --> 00:06:35,996
Don't I need to tell
my mother about this?
129
00:06:36,030 --> 00:06:37,648
Don't worry.
I took care of it.
130
00:06:39,984 --> 00:06:41,018
Hey, Mom.
131
00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:43,053
Shalom. It's me, Snot.
132
00:06:43,087 --> 00:06:45,288
I got into NASA Medical School!
133
00:06:45,323 --> 00:06:48,025
If they have phones on Mars,
I'll call ya!
134
00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:50,027
Bye!
135
00:06:50,061 --> 00:06:52,863
My son, the astronaut doctor!
136
00:06:52,897 --> 00:06:55,766
Just like the psychic painted.
137
00:07:00,805 --> 00:07:03,040
Oh, my God.
138
00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:04,941
What happened to your face, honey?
139
00:07:04,976 --> 00:07:06,943
I got robbed in front of my room.
140
00:07:06,978 --> 00:07:09,179
They stole the 50 bucks you gave me.
141
00:07:09,213 --> 00:07:11,214
Oh, no, that's terrible!
142
00:07:11,249 --> 00:07:13,817
Hey, look at my new bracelet!
It jingles.
143
00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:15,952
For 50 bucks, it better, right?
144
00:07:19,574 --> 00:07:22,192
Thanks for walking me home, Roger.
145
00:07:22,210 --> 00:07:24,211
We're safer in pairs.
146
00:07:32,704 --> 00:07:34,705
Eh. I don't have
time for this.
147
00:07:45,083 --> 00:07:46,683
Oh, Snot.
148
00:07:46,718 --> 00:07:49,569
You were wearing your bathing
suit as underwear that day.
149
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:53,523
Oh, is that a letter for Snot?
I'll mail it for you.
150
00:07:53,558 --> 00:07:55,692
Thanks. This is my
fifth letter to him.
151
00:07:55,727 --> 00:07:57,694
I hope this time he writes me back.
152
00:07:57,729 --> 00:07:58,862
Doubt it.
153
00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:00,363
Snot's probably moved on with his life
154
00:08:00,398 --> 00:08:01,798
and I think it's time you did, too.
155
00:08:01,833 --> 00:08:03,800
Here, I signed you up for lacrosse.
156
00:08:03,835 --> 00:08:06,286
Dad, I am not a physical boy.
157
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,621
Well, now that Snot's
not here to drag you down,
158
00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:09,022
you can do anything.
159
00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:11,057
Let's see what you can do
with that lacrosse stick.
160
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:14,311
What are you doing?
161
00:08:14,345 --> 00:08:17,130
Playing lunch lady.
Pizza or sloppy joe?
162
00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:21,001
I am pissed off
because you're doing that,
163
00:08:21,035 --> 00:08:22,469
and now I want a sloppy joe
164
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,404
and I know you don't really have one.
165
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,815
I'm Sven.
166
00:08:34,849 --> 00:08:37,317
It's me!
167
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:39,085
Here's your groceries.
See you next week.
168
00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:40,487
M-Mr. Smith, wait!
169
00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,322
Want to stay for dinner?
170
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:44,157
I made a casserole.
171
00:08:44,192 --> 00:08:46,209
I love casserole.
172
00:08:47,678 --> 00:08:49,312
I think they'll go all the way to 17.
173
00:08:49,347 --> 00:08:52,716
17? Ocean's 17?
174
00:08:52,750 --> 00:08:54,851
Look, as long as that gang
likes hanging out together,
175
00:08:54,886 --> 00:08:56,186
they're gonna keep
making those pictures.
176
00:08:56,220 --> 00:08:58,522
I notice you call movies pictures.
177
00:08:58,556 --> 00:09:00,190
I do.
I do do that.
178
00:09:00,224 --> 00:09:02,125
I notice you just said doo doo.
179
00:09:03,828 --> 00:09:05,195
Hilarious.
180
00:09:05,229 --> 00:09:09,232
Steve said you were hilarious,
and that... checks out.
181
00:09:11,502 --> 00:09:14,337
Well, I guess I better
be getting home, huh?
182
00:09:14,372 --> 00:09:16,339
You think you're okay to drive?
183
00:09:16,374 --> 00:09:17,607
Now that you mention it,
184
00:09:17,642 --> 00:09:19,626
I did have a couple of
glasses of wine at dinner.
185
00:09:20,495 --> 00:09:22,128
You should crash here.
186
00:09:22,163 --> 00:09:23,630
I mean, if you want.
187
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:26,132
Sensible.
The boy is sensible.
188
00:09:26,167 --> 00:09:28,134
Not too sensible...
189
00:09:28,169 --> 00:09:30,821
I have crumb cake!
190
00:09:34,325 --> 00:09:35,809
Okay. Ready?
191
00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:37,844
Ready-o!
192
00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:47,053
You still up?
193
00:09:47,088 --> 00:09:48,989
Yeah. You?
194
00:09:49,023 --> 00:09:50,657
I'm not even tired.
195
00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:52,692
Me neither.
196
00:09:54,195 --> 00:09:55,829
Hey, does this
building have a pool?
197
00:09:55,863 --> 00:09:57,831
Yeah, on the roof.
198
00:09:57,865 --> 00:09:59,833
We should totally
go swimming tomorrow.
199
00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,868
Totally.
200
00:10:03,538 --> 00:10:06,339
Oh, I finally took my socks off.
201
00:10:06,374 --> 00:10:07,674
Oh! I'm gonna do that.
I'm gonna do that.
202
00:10:09,544 --> 00:10:11,545
Ahh, that is nice.
203
00:10:14,215 --> 00:10:16,850
How many people do you think
are having sex right now?
204
00:10:16,884 --> 00:10:19,853
In the city or the world?
205
00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:21,521
World.
206
00:10:21,556 --> 00:10:24,190
Probably about 50.
207
00:10:24,225 --> 00:10:25,225
Yeah, I think that, too.
208
00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:29,529
Hey, Stan?
209
00:10:29,564 --> 00:10:32,032
You think when we die,
we come back as something else?
210
00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:34,701
Oh, no, no. No, we
just get one go-round.
211
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:37,537
One ticket per customer, my friend.
212
00:10:37,572 --> 00:10:39,539
You think interest rates
are gonna go up?
213
00:10:39,574 --> 00:10:41,641
Come on, man.
That's grown-up stuff.
214
00:10:41,676 --> 00:10:43,376
Let's keep it light.
215
00:10:43,411 --> 00:10:45,478
So there's this girl at school,
216
00:10:45,513 --> 00:10:47,314
and she said she'd let me kiss her,
217
00:10:47,348 --> 00:10:49,215
but only on her butt cheek.
218
00:10:49,250 --> 00:10:51,051
Should I do it?
219
00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:52,552
Yeah. Yeah, you should do it.
220
00:10:52,587 --> 00:10:54,888
Good, 'cause I already did.
221
00:10:58,259 --> 00:11:00,093
My pillow is so hot.
222
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:01,561
Turn it over.
223
00:11:01,596 --> 00:11:03,496
I'm saving it for
right before I fall asleep.
224
00:11:03,531 --> 00:11:05,532
Yeah, that's smart.
225
00:11:12,206 --> 00:11:13,840
You asleep yet?
226
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,875
No.
227
00:11:17,545 --> 00:11:20,714
I can't wait to
go swimming tomorrow.
228
00:11:22,817 --> 00:11:25,318
Chicken pot pie?
229
00:11:25,353 --> 00:11:28,755
Chicken pot bye!
230
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:31,024
Oh, no!
You got robbed again!
231
00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:32,392
And almost raped.
232
00:11:32,426 --> 00:11:33,877
Almost.
233
00:11:33,911 --> 00:11:36,279
Jeff, at least use
that scooter to get home.
234
00:11:36,314 --> 00:11:38,715
Just speed through that
hallway and get home safe.
235
00:11:38,749 --> 00:11:40,750
Okay. Thanks, Roger.
236
00:11:41,919 --> 00:11:44,471
Okay, I'm just gonna wash my hands now.
237
00:11:57,201 --> 00:11:59,336
W-was this light always here?
238
00:12:04,692 --> 00:12:06,943
Help! Carjacking!
239
00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:15,468
Shredded it!
240
00:12:15,503 --> 00:12:19,472
And now, lacrosse
champion, Steve Smith! Yay!
241
00:12:19,507 --> 00:12:21,858
Whoa. Whoa, whoa.
Steady, steady. Whoa!
242
00:12:29,233 --> 00:12:30,600
What the hell?!
243
00:12:30,634 --> 00:12:31,801
What's wrong?
244
00:12:31,836 --> 00:12:34,437
Dad never mailed these
letters I wrote to Snot!
245
00:12:34,472 --> 00:12:37,691
Wait. And you said Snot just up
and left town one night?
246
00:12:37,725 --> 00:12:38,858
Yeah...
247
00:12:38,893 --> 00:12:40,694
Come with me.
248
00:12:40,728 --> 00:12:43,797
Here are letters I wrote
that I found in Dad's desk.
249
00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:46,766
See, back in high school
I-I went on a couple of dates
250
00:12:46,801 --> 00:12:48,301
- with a black guy, and...
- Oh!
251
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:49,602
Dad didn't like him.
252
00:12:49,637 --> 00:12:51,771
So he had Darnell witness a fake murder,
253
00:12:51,806 --> 00:12:53,873
then made up some bogus
witness protection thing,
254
00:12:53,908 --> 00:12:56,076
and hid him in some apartment
in Lanceton.
255
00:12:56,110 --> 00:12:58,244
And he didn't want me
hanging out with Snot,
256
00:12:58,279 --> 00:13:00,046
so he did the same thing again!
257
00:13:00,081 --> 00:13:01,381
I can't believe it!
258
00:13:01,415 --> 00:13:02,782
I couldn't believe it, either.
259
00:13:02,817 --> 00:13:04,984
And that was three
years ago-- so...
260
00:13:05,019 --> 00:13:07,904
I actually couldn't
believe it before you.
261
00:13:15,179 --> 00:13:17,497
Snot!
262
00:13:17,531 --> 00:13:18,631
Steve!
263
00:13:18,666 --> 00:13:20,300
I'm here to save you!
264
00:13:20,334 --> 00:13:21,634
From the Capellis?
265
00:13:21,669 --> 00:13:23,937
No! From my dad!
266
00:13:23,988 --> 00:13:26,106
What the hell are you doing here?
267
00:13:26,140 --> 00:13:27,240
Oh, hey, Steve.
268
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:29,042
Hey, you were right.
Snot's great!
269
00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:30,727
We're totally best friends now.
270
00:13:30,761 --> 00:13:33,396
Hey, Mr. Smith.
Hey, Darnell.
271
00:13:33,516 --> 00:13:35,782
Is it safe for me
to come out of hiding yet?
272
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:37,317
Nope.
273
00:13:43,668 --> 00:13:46,390
Wait, let me get this straight.
274
00:13:46,510 --> 00:13:48,011
There's no Capellis?
275
00:13:48,045 --> 00:13:50,031
I don't need to be
in witness protection?
276
00:13:50,151 --> 00:13:52,682
All made up-- just
to keep us apart
277
00:13:52,716 --> 00:13:53,861
because he didn't like you.
278
00:13:53,981 --> 00:13:55,211
Stan?
279
00:13:55,331 --> 00:13:57,242
Yeah, but, Snot, that
was before I got to know you.
280
00:13:57,362 --> 00:13:59,739
I mean, you're absolutely
amazing, buddy!
281
00:14:02,576 --> 00:14:05,211
What are you doing?
Snot's not your buddy!
282
00:14:05,246 --> 00:14:07,413
He's your kidnap victim, you psycho!
283
00:14:07,448 --> 00:14:09,249
Hey, hey, hey, Steve.
284
00:14:09,283 --> 00:14:10,884
Coming in a little hot.
285
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:12,886
How are you not furious with him?!
286
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,170
Because he's forgiving, Steve.
287
00:14:14,205 --> 00:14:16,522
If you knew him as well as I do,
288
00:14:16,557 --> 00:14:19,576
you would've included that in your
"five hard facts about Snot."
289
00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:21,377
Plus, you forgot
his one "soft fact."
290
00:14:21,412 --> 00:14:24,214
Squirrels love him.
Isn't that right, Nutsy?
291
00:14:25,666 --> 00:14:26,933
You guys aren't friends!
292
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,434
You're a
14-year-old boy,
293
00:14:28,469 --> 00:14:30,103
and he's a
42-year-old man.
294
00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:31,571
14 and a half.
295
00:14:31,605 --> 00:14:33,339
And I just turned 42.
296
00:14:33,374 --> 00:14:35,341
Besides, he made witness protection fun.
297
00:14:35,376 --> 00:14:36,843
But it was all fake.
298
00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:38,678
So is air guitar, but we love that.
299
00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,513
You don't get to talk about air guitar!
300
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,865
I don't need to talk about it!
301
00:14:47,071 --> 00:14:50,723
Guys, guys, I can be friends
with both of you.
302
00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:54,127
All right, then, I'm gonna pack up.
303
00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:56,396
While you do, I'll read
you all the letters
304
00:14:56,430 --> 00:14:59,365
I wrote to you that you never got.
305
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:00,900
"18 March.
306
00:15:00,935 --> 00:15:03,870
"It's been a fortnight
since our last frolic.
307
00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:06,572
My bosom heaves with the weight
of your absence."
308
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:11,427
So, what happened while I was gone?
309
00:15:11,461 --> 00:15:13,212
Anybody get pregnant at school?
310
00:15:13,247 --> 00:15:14,931
Yeah, like everybody.
311
00:15:14,965 --> 00:15:17,734
Oh, hey, I got you a little
welcome-home gift.
312
00:15:17,768 --> 00:15:19,569
Carnival tickets, baby!
313
00:15:19,603 --> 00:15:21,070
You!
314
00:15:21,105 --> 00:15:22,605
You know me!
315
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,223
What up, d-bags?
316
00:15:24,258 --> 00:15:27,410
What a coincidence. I didn't
know this was your hang.
317
00:15:27,444 --> 00:15:29,412
Dad, you dropped me off
here ten minutes ago.
318
00:15:29,446 --> 00:15:30,580
Sure did.
What's going on?
319
00:15:30,614 --> 00:15:32,432
Snot and I are going to the carnival.
320
00:15:32,466 --> 00:15:33,866
Cool! I'm in.
I'll drive us.
321
00:15:33,901 --> 00:15:36,769
Ooh, sorry, Dad, but
you don't have a ticket.
322
00:15:36,804 --> 00:15:39,072
Oh, I guess this is
the first sold-out carnival
323
00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:40,423
in the history of carnivals.
324
00:15:40,457 --> 00:15:42,625
I'll buy a ticket.
325
00:15:42,659 --> 00:15:44,460
Yell "shotgun" real loud.
Yell "shotgun."
326
00:15:44,495 --> 00:15:46,629
- Shotgun?
- Snot said shotgun! Snot said shotgun!
327
00:15:46,663 --> 00:15:49,265
Oh, Steve, man, I'm sorry.
328
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:52,135
Oh, Steve, that sucks!
329
00:15:55,773 --> 00:15:56,973
This is getting ridiculous!
330
00:15:57,007 --> 00:15:58,608
You want me to walk you home again?
331
00:15:58,642 --> 00:16:00,643
It didn't help last time.
332
00:16:02,012 --> 00:16:04,213
Sheesh! Just trying
to help the kid out.
333
00:16:06,283 --> 00:16:09,352
I'm gonna rape him this time.
334
00:16:15,526 --> 00:16:17,360
You know the drill here.
335
00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:21,664
You know... I-I remember a time
when this was a safe hallway.
336
00:16:21,699 --> 00:16:25,535
I left my door unlocked.
Kids played after dark.
337
00:16:25,569 --> 00:16:27,370
I could walk home without being scared.
338
00:16:27,404 --> 00:16:29,405
And I don't want to be scared anymore!
339
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:30,873
Just shut up and give me...
340
00:16:30,891 --> 00:16:31,858
Aah!
341
00:16:41,885 --> 00:16:43,519
Aah!
342
00:16:43,554 --> 00:16:45,722
That's a whoopsie.
343
00:16:50,461 --> 00:16:52,195
Snot, this is amazing!
344
00:16:52,229 --> 00:16:54,580
Yeah! Snot!
Doesn't it remind you
345
00:16:54,615 --> 00:16:56,199
of the time you and I...
346
00:16:59,620 --> 00:17:01,154
Can you believe that ride, Snot?
347
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:03,456
Oh, my God, my stomach
was all over the place.
348
00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,525
The gravity was so strong,
you couldn't even lift your...
349
00:17:06,727 --> 00:17:08,127
head!
I love this place!
350
00:17:08,162 --> 00:17:09,695
So, what's next, Snotters?
What's on deck?
351
00:17:09,730 --> 00:17:12,131
Well, Steve wanted to take
pictures with the butter cow.
352
00:17:12,166 --> 00:17:14,067
You mean, have sex with the butter cow!
353
00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:15,601
- Lame!
- Really?
354
00:17:15,636 --> 00:17:18,271
Okay. I'm gonna
go get a hot dog.
355
00:17:18,305 --> 00:17:20,456
You mean have sex with a hot dog!
356
00:17:26,647 --> 00:17:27,814
Winner!
357
00:17:27,848 --> 00:17:30,383
You want another?
I'll win you another.
358
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:31,384
Please don't.
359
00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:33,403
They're becoming less special.
360
00:17:38,041 --> 00:17:39,742
Steve went home.
361
00:17:39,777 --> 00:17:42,812
I can't believe he left before he
took our photo booth pictures.
362
00:17:42,846 --> 00:17:44,647
We do it every year.
363
00:17:44,681 --> 00:17:46,149
Maybe we should just go.
364
00:17:46,183 --> 00:17:47,750
Go? No, no, w-we'll
take the pictures!
365
00:17:47,785 --> 00:17:50,286
You meant me and you in a photo booth?
Are you kidding me?
366
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,437
That is happening!
367
00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:56,809
I take picture of machine
taking picture.
368
00:17:56,844 --> 00:17:58,511
Get out.
369
00:18:00,614 --> 00:18:02,598
Okay, we get four pictures,
370
00:18:02,633 --> 00:18:04,534
so we have to do four awesome things.
371
00:18:04,568 --> 00:18:05,968
Okay, what are four awesome things?
372
00:18:06,003 --> 00:18:07,637
Ooh, wait,
I-I know what to do.
373
00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:12,558
Yeah, so...
374
00:18:12,593 --> 00:18:14,026
I think I'm gonna go.
375
00:18:14,061 --> 00:18:16,796
What? D-don't you want to see
how the pictures came out?
376
00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:18,664
Yeah, I'll see them later.
377
00:18:18,699 --> 00:18:20,399
Thanks for...
378
00:18:20,434 --> 00:18:21,767
you know--
379
00:19:34,608 --> 00:19:36,592
Who are you here for?
380
00:19:36,627 --> 00:19:38,761
Don't you get it?
He's here for you.
381
00:19:38,795 --> 00:19:40,596
It's always been you.
382
00:19:40,631 --> 00:19:42,465
You guys are best friends.
383
00:19:42,499 --> 00:19:47,203
And it was wrong of me to try and take
something that special away from you.
384
00:19:47,237 --> 00:19:50,473
Right? Unless, maybe,
you changed your mind?
385
00:19:51,675 --> 00:19:53,175
No.
386
00:19:53,210 --> 00:19:55,745
I'm here for Steve.
387
00:20:03,820 --> 00:20:06,188
Just go to him already!