1 00:00:03,238 --> 00:00:05,838 ♪ Good morning, USA! 2 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:09,809 ♪ I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 3 00:00:09,811 --> 00:00:12,779 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 4 00:00:12,781 --> 00:00:17,417 ♪ And he's shining a salute to the American race ♪ 5 00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:22,588 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say 6 00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:24,524 ♪ Good morning, USA 7 00:00:24,526 --> 00:00:26,225 Aah! 8 00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:30,730 ♪ Good morning, USA! 9 00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:36,102 Oh, Stan... 10 00:00:36,104 --> 00:00:38,638 I love having date night on a Tuesday. 11 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:42,141 And it's Taco Tuesday, where all the tacos are two for one. 12 00:00:43,178 --> 00:00:45,611 Your frugality is so sexy. 13 00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:48,715 I brought a garbage bag that we can fill with chips. 14 00:00:48,717 --> 00:00:51,317 You know, maybe with all the money we're saving 15 00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:54,654 on Mexican food, we can finally buy a new couch. 16 00:00:54,656 --> 00:00:57,223 Too many animals have given birth on the old one. 17 00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:58,958 Stan...? 18 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:00,259 Are you listening? 19 00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:03,329 Yeah... 20 00:01:03,331 --> 00:01:05,531 I was, I was just looking at... 21 00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:07,033 the-the alcohol. 22 00:01:07,035 --> 00:01:09,402 H-H-Have they always served hard alcohol here? 23 00:01:09,404 --> 00:01:12,572 Stan, you have two Jack and Cokes in front of you. 24 00:01:12,574 --> 00:01:15,308 You get them every time we come here. 25 00:01:15,310 --> 00:01:16,709 Jack is alcohol?! 26 00:01:16,711 --> 00:01:18,511 Why, I always thought it was slang. 27 00:01:18,513 --> 00:01:21,781 Like, "That soda be so cheap you Jack and Coke, son." 28 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,522 You just couldn't keep your eyes off 29 00:01:29,524 --> 00:01:31,224 that slutty bartender, could you? 30 00:01:31,226 --> 00:01:32,558 Wait, what?! 31 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:33,993 Are you just guessing that she's slutty, 32 00:01:33,995 --> 00:01:36,555 or have you heard something? 33 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,333 Well, we're in the driveway 34 00:01:40,335 --> 00:01:42,168 and that's where all conversations end. 35 00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:44,871 I'm gonna go deal with the B-side of Taco Tuesday. 36 00:01:44,873 --> 00:01:46,172 See you at sex later? 37 00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:53,413 Wednesday morning, that means Stan's fresh off date night. 38 00:01:53,415 --> 00:01:54,680 Come on, spill it! 39 00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:55,882 All right. Highlight: 40 00:01:55,884 --> 00:01:58,284 Successfully passed an expired coupon. 41 00:01:58,286 --> 00:01:59,519 Nice! The master! 42 00:01:59,521 --> 00:02:01,254 Keeping it cheap! 43 00:02:01,256 --> 00:02:03,389 Francine almost busted me 44 00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:05,091 checking out this hot girl's boobs. 45 00:02:05,093 --> 00:02:07,093 Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. You can't get caught looking. 46 00:02:07,095 --> 00:02:08,795 Yeah, man. Women talk. 47 00:02:08,797 --> 00:02:11,097 If my girlfriend hears you're checking out other women, 48 00:02:11,099 --> 00:02:13,032 she'll realize I do it too. 49 00:02:13,034 --> 00:02:14,400 Guys, guys, relax. 50 00:02:14,402 --> 00:02:15,968 I covered it with an excuse 51 00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:17,804 and even agreed to go couch shopping at the mall. 52 00:02:17,806 --> 00:02:19,105 The mall?! 53 00:02:19,107 --> 00:02:20,940 That place is crawling with hot chicks. 54 00:02:20,942 --> 00:02:23,743 So, I'll just play it safe and not look at any women. 55 00:02:23,745 --> 00:02:25,278 No, you can still look. 56 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:27,213 You just gotta learn to rubberneck. 57 00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:28,748 "Rubberneck?" What's that? 58 00:02:28,750 --> 00:02:31,651 We'll tell you, but you gotta keep it a secret. 59 00:02:31,653 --> 00:02:34,654 Women can never find out about rubbernecking. 60 00:02:34,656 --> 00:02:37,023 New black intern: Kick it. 61 00:02:41,129 --> 00:02:44,730 Rubbernecking is the art of checking out women on the sly. 62 00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:48,234 And if you do it right, you'll never get caught. 63 00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:49,335 ♪ Well... 64 00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:50,470 ♪ My name's Mcgee 65 00:02:50,472 --> 00:02:51,604 ♪ And soon you'll see 66 00:02:51,606 --> 00:02:52,638 ♪ If you wanna rubberneck 67 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:53,840 ♪ Just listen to me 68 00:02:53,842 --> 00:02:55,508 ♪ Because a peek don't hurt ♪ 69 00:02:55,510 --> 00:02:56,943 ♪ If you wanna scout skirt, you have to be covert ♪ 70 00:02:56,945 --> 00:02:58,145 ♪ Listen up, you squirt 71 00:02:58,146 --> 00:02:59,612 ♪ Well, my name is Jackson 72 00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:00,780 ♪ My technique's the purest 73 00:03:00,782 --> 00:03:02,014 ♪ When I wanna scout girls 74 00:03:02,016 --> 00:03:04,016 ♪ I pretend I'm a tourist 75 00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:05,818 ♪ You look around like you're super lost ♪ 76 00:03:05,820 --> 00:03:08,588 ♪ Hold up a map, now you're peeking like a boss. ♪ 77 00:03:08,590 --> 00:03:12,425 Yeah... I guess when I'm lost, I do look everywhere. 78 00:03:12,427 --> 00:03:14,660 ♪ My name is Sanders and I don't lie ♪ 79 00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,028 ♪ The best way to peek 80 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,630 ♪ Say there's something in your eye. ♪ 81 00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:19,198 Wow... smooth. 82 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,867 ♪ Well, my name is Tiny Dick 83 00:03:20,869 --> 00:03:22,034 ♪ And I have a little trick 84 00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:23,269 ♪ To look at a lady 85 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:24,370 ♪ So she don't think I'm shady 86 00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:25,538 ♪ I pretend that I'm dead 87 00:03:25,540 --> 00:03:26,706 ♪ And I lie on a gurney 88 00:03:26,708 --> 00:03:28,174 ♪ When the nurses come up 89 00:03:28,176 --> 00:03:29,509 ♪ I do the Weekend at Bernie's ♪ 90 00:03:29,511 --> 00:03:31,677 ♪ Never forget, women like to judge ♪ 91 00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:33,679 ♪ Go on, give that cattiness a nudge ♪ 92 00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:35,882 ♪ So tell your woman that you hate a girl ♪ 93 00:03:35,884 --> 00:03:38,518 ♪ And you can stare while all that hate unfurls. ♪ 94 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:42,288 Hey, Francine, look at that terrible outfit. 95 00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:45,358 Yeah, she looks like a hooker. 96 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:47,493 Hooker, hooker, hooker... 97 00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:49,729 ♪ When you wanna take a look, hold up a book ♪ 98 00:03:49,731 --> 00:03:52,131 ♪ A newspaper will do to look at some boobs ♪ 99 00:03:52,133 --> 00:03:54,133 ♪ I think you're ready to join the crew ♪ 100 00:03:54,135 --> 00:03:55,968 ♪ Because you're rubbernecking 101 00:03:55,970 --> 00:03:57,169 ♪ With the best 102 00:03:57,171 --> 00:03:59,238 ♪ Rubbernecking with the best 103 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:00,573 ♪ Because you're rubbernecking 104 00:04:00,575 --> 00:04:01,807 ♪ With the best 105 00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:03,543 ♪ Rubbernecking with the best. 106 00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:13,152 New couch! 107 00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:15,154 Klaus, get in here! 108 00:04:17,859 --> 00:04:19,325 This better be important. 109 00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:21,027 I'm crank calling my aunt in Düsseldorf. 110 00:04:21,029 --> 00:04:22,361 She's on. 111 00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:23,362 I'm going to kill you. 112 00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:24,363 I'm going to kill you. 113 00:04:25,233 --> 00:04:26,432 Okay, what now? 114 00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:29,402 A new couch! 115 00:04:29,404 --> 00:04:31,404 It feels like I'm floating. 116 00:04:31,406 --> 00:04:34,507 Well, I took a long enough lunch; better go back to work. 117 00:04:34,509 --> 00:04:35,908 Listen, Stan... 118 00:04:35,910 --> 00:04:38,611 I'm sorry I got so paranoid last night. 119 00:04:38,613 --> 00:04:41,347 There were beautiful women all over the mall today 120 00:04:41,349 --> 00:04:42,715 and you didn't even notice. 121 00:04:42,717 --> 00:04:44,383 You're talking about that redhead, right? 122 00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:47,987 Either way, you should know I only have eyes for you. 123 00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:52,592 You know, Klaus, 124 00:04:52,594 --> 00:04:54,894 I've been saving something for an occasion just like this. 125 00:04:54,896 --> 00:04:58,097 This bottle of wine was a gift from Julia Child... 126 00:04:58,099 --> 00:04:59,532 to Liz Taylor. 127 00:04:59,534 --> 00:05:02,094 I stole it when I worked at the post office. 128 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:06,305 Yes, red wine, the deepest staining of all the wines. 129 00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:07,873 To our new couch. 130 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,978 That was a terrible toast. 131 00:05:11,980 --> 00:05:13,212 Could've been about any couch. 132 00:05:13,214 --> 00:05:14,380 Let's try again. 133 00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:17,049 To our new, pristine, white couch. 134 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,155 Blech! Ooh! It's turned. 135 00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:24,790 That is bad wine. 136 00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:26,325 That is real bad wine. 137 00:05:26,327 --> 00:05:27,994 Never keep wine in the car. 138 00:05:27,996 --> 00:05:29,929 I knew it and I did it anyway. 139 00:05:29,931 --> 00:05:31,464 Oh, no, the couch. 140 00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:34,767 The cushions are sewn in. 141 00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:35,768 We can't flip them. 142 00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:37,737 Stan will kill us! 143 00:05:37,739 --> 00:05:39,605 What are we gonna do?! 144 00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:41,574 We'll just have to sit here forever. 145 00:05:41,576 --> 00:05:43,509 That's brilliant! 146 00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:47,346 Oh, isn't it crazy how worried we were a moment ago? 147 00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:56,856 Well, hello, hot jogger. 148 00:05:56,858 --> 00:05:58,791 ♪ Rubbernecking... 149 00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:00,960 Might as well get some photo proof for the boys 150 00:06:00,962 --> 00:06:02,094 while I'm here. 151 00:06:02,096 --> 00:06:03,329 Not doing anything wrong. 152 00:06:03,331 --> 00:06:04,797 Just looking for a signal. 153 00:06:04,799 --> 00:06:06,432 Definitely not zooming in to see 154 00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:08,100 if you're wearing underpants. 155 00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:14,273 Some from the back and don't forget the rack. 156 00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:23,649 Damn it, if Francine finds out I crashed 157 00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:25,384 because I was rubbernecking, I'm a dead man. 158 00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:29,288 My back hurts and I used to have a great back! 159 00:06:29,290 --> 00:06:30,723 What the hell were you looking at? 160 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,994 Nothing. I must've lingered on a blink. 161 00:06:34,996 --> 00:06:37,229 Are you okay? 162 00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:38,464 Do you need help? 163 00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:40,466 Get out of here! You've done enough! 164 00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,041 Nice. 165 00:06:58,186 --> 00:07:00,121 Oh, my God, what happened to you?! 166 00:07:00,123 --> 00:07:02,924 Oh, I got in a car accident, Francine, but don't worry, 167 00:07:02,926 --> 00:07:04,525 luckily I've had enough time to remember 168 00:07:04,527 --> 00:07:06,093 the exact truth of what happened. 169 00:07:06,095 --> 00:07:08,696 Oh, you poor thing. Come rest your bloody head 170 00:07:08,698 --> 00:07:10,231 right here underneath where I'm sitting. 171 00:07:10,233 --> 00:07:12,433 You see, I was driving responsibly 172 00:07:12,435 --> 00:07:15,603 with my eyes on the road, when a dog jumped out. 173 00:07:15,605 --> 00:07:17,571 I saved his life by swerving. 174 00:07:17,573 --> 00:07:19,407 He made eye contact as he ran away. 175 00:07:19,409 --> 00:07:22,043 No words exchanged, he wasn't a talking dog, 176 00:07:22,045 --> 00:07:25,279 but in that moment, I knew he thought me a hero. 177 00:07:25,281 --> 00:07:28,049 Well, come on. With a head trauma like this, 178 00:07:28,051 --> 00:07:29,717 you should get right into bed. 179 00:07:29,719 --> 00:07:34,055 It's like they say, "Starve a fever, sleep a concussion." 180 00:07:38,393 --> 00:07:39,593 How'd you sleep? 181 00:07:39,595 --> 00:07:41,262 Lousy. 182 00:07:41,264 --> 00:07:42,630 Do I have tank head? 183 00:07:42,632 --> 00:07:44,498 Did you guys spend the night on the couch? 184 00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:45,633 Yes. 185 00:07:45,635 --> 00:07:47,168 We are, um... 186 00:07:47,170 --> 00:07:50,271 trying to set the world record for longest continuous 187 00:07:50,273 --> 00:07:52,473 couch-sitting in Smith household history. 188 00:07:52,475 --> 00:07:53,574 Good one, Klaus. 189 00:07:55,411 --> 00:07:57,912 Mr. Smith, my name is Heinrich Brown. 190 00:07:57,914 --> 00:07:59,080 Okay! 191 00:07:59,082 --> 00:08:00,781 I'm from your insurance company 192 00:08:00,783 --> 00:08:02,823 and I'm here to review the details of your accident. 193 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:06,487 Anyway, I was hoping to talk to you 194 00:08:06,489 --> 00:08:09,190 about exactly how your accident went down. 195 00:08:09,192 --> 00:08:10,591 Of course! Of cour... of course. 196 00:08:10,593 --> 00:08:11,659 Come in. Come in. 197 00:08:11,661 --> 00:08:14,462 Hope you like nothin', 'cause that's what I got to hide. 198 00:08:14,464 --> 00:08:16,197 Hey, do you mind if we meet in the kitchen? 199 00:08:16,199 --> 00:08:18,833 My-my fish, and this... 200 00:08:18,835 --> 00:08:21,969 little girl are trying to set a couch-sitting record. 201 00:08:21,971 --> 00:08:23,504 You don't remember me? 202 00:08:23,506 --> 00:08:25,206 I'm Jean-Louise Finch. 203 00:08:25,208 --> 00:08:28,609 You brought us some molasses one foggy morning, remember? 204 00:08:30,145 --> 00:08:33,280 So... yeah, let's-let's go to the kitchen. 205 00:08:35,818 --> 00:08:38,119 Thank you once more for this delicious... 206 00:08:38,121 --> 00:08:39,854 glass of milk. 207 00:08:39,856 --> 00:08:42,690 Now, Mr. Smith, before I start, I want to remind you 208 00:08:42,692 --> 00:08:44,959 that insurance fraud is a felony, 209 00:08:44,961 --> 00:08:47,061 punishable by serious jail time. 210 00:08:48,331 --> 00:08:50,364 Your sworn statement says you swerved 211 00:08:50,366 --> 00:08:52,533 because a dog jumped in front of your car? 212 00:08:52,535 --> 00:08:54,468 Are you sure that's what caused the accident? 213 00:08:54,470 --> 00:08:56,137 Why wouldn't he be sure? 214 00:08:56,139 --> 00:08:57,638 I don't know, Mrs. Smith. 215 00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:00,474 It's not my job to know what caused the accident. 216 00:09:00,476 --> 00:09:02,543 It's my job to find out. 217 00:09:02,545 --> 00:09:05,079 And then, after that... to know. 218 00:09:09,751 --> 00:09:13,587 He keeps drinking, but there's always the same amount of milk! 219 00:09:17,592 --> 00:09:19,927 Thank you again, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. 220 00:09:19,929 --> 00:09:23,197 I will return this glass when I am done with my milk. 221 00:09:23,199 --> 00:09:26,167 Oh, don't return it, just put it down when you're done. 222 00:09:26,169 --> 00:09:27,935 If I was meant to have it, it'll find its way back to me. 223 00:09:27,937 --> 00:09:32,339 And Mr. Smith, please know that if you are hiding anything, 224 00:09:32,341 --> 00:09:35,276 anything at all, I will sniff it out. 225 00:09:35,278 --> 00:09:37,278 It's an ability of mine. 226 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,547 For instance... 227 00:09:39,549 --> 00:09:42,016 your fish and that Southern tomboy 228 00:09:42,018 --> 00:09:44,885 are hiding a wine stain on your couch. 229 00:09:44,887 --> 00:09:46,720 What?! Is that true?! 230 00:09:46,722 --> 00:09:49,256 It was Klaus, he spilled the wine! 231 00:09:49,258 --> 00:09:51,358 He said if I told you, AI'd be next! 232 00:09:59,135 --> 00:10:01,469 ♪ Hey, yo, insurance is not a game ♪ 233 00:10:01,471 --> 00:10:02,552 ♪ You know what I'm saying? 234 00:10:03,306 --> 00:10:04,972 ♪ I'm a dog. Here we go 235 00:10:04,974 --> 00:10:06,140 ♪ Radio edit 236 00:10:06,142 --> 00:10:07,374 ♪ Yo, let's do this 237 00:10:07,376 --> 00:10:09,043 ♪ Hey, yo, if you commit fraud 238 00:10:09,045 --> 00:10:10,478 ♪ You gon' be paying to God 239 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:11,946 ♪ If you fake your wreck 240 00:10:11,948 --> 00:10:13,447 ♪ We gon' break your neck 241 00:10:13,449 --> 00:10:14,782 ♪ Cover your tracks well 242 00:10:14,784 --> 00:10:16,250 ♪ I'll use my sense to smell 243 00:10:16,252 --> 00:10:17,751 ♪ And all of a sudden 244 00:10:17,753 --> 00:10:19,653 ♪ Your permanent hotel is goin' be jail ♪ 245 00:10:19,655 --> 00:10:20,888 ♪ I'm a fraud sniff in' dog 246 00:10:20,890 --> 00:10:22,323 ♪ Make you squeal like a hog 247 00:10:22,325 --> 00:10:23,491 ♪ If I see fraudulence 248 00:10:23,493 --> 00:10:25,259 ♪ I pull a de-liverence 249 00:10:25,261 --> 00:10:26,727 ♪ And when I find out 250 00:10:26,729 --> 00:10:28,429 ♪ You'll lose that safe driver discount! ♪ 251 00:10:28,431 --> 00:10:30,664 ♪ Discount, discount, discount 252 00:10:30,666 --> 00:10:31,899 ♪ Yo 253 00:10:31,901 --> 00:10:33,334 ♪ Earthquakes are not covered 254 00:10:33,336 --> 00:10:35,069 ♪ Under the home insurance plan, bitch ♪ 255 00:10:35,071 --> 00:10:37,404 ♪ Yo, we do not cover acts of God ♪ 256 00:10:37,406 --> 00:10:38,906 ♪ I am an act of God ♪ 257 00:10:38,908 --> 00:10:40,141 ♪ Yo, you just remember 258 00:10:40,143 --> 00:10:41,308 ♪ You want fire coverage 259 00:10:41,310 --> 00:10:42,810 ♪ It's a separate policy 260 00:10:42,812 --> 00:10:44,812 ♪ The zip code affects your premium ♪ 261 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:47,248 ♪ Yo, I ain't a good neighbor 262 00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:48,449 ♪ I banged your wife 263 00:10:48,451 --> 00:10:49,984 ♪ And you ain't in good hands 264 00:10:49,986 --> 00:10:51,485 ♪ Because I'll take your life. 265 00:11:01,630 --> 00:11:03,697 I'll tell you what I told Verne Troyer: 266 00:11:03,699 --> 00:11:07,201 if the sidecar comes unattached, it's a separate vehicle 267 00:11:07,203 --> 00:11:09,136 and it's not covered. 268 00:11:09,138 --> 00:11:10,437 Heinrich! 269 00:11:10,439 --> 00:11:12,039 Wh-What, wh-what are you doing here? 270 00:11:12,041 --> 00:11:13,874 Mr. Smith. 271 00:11:13,876 --> 00:11:15,509 I was about to close your case, 272 00:11:15,511 --> 00:11:19,947 but one small, easily-answered question arose. 273 00:11:19,949 --> 00:11:21,348 It-it... it did? 274 00:11:21,350 --> 00:11:24,318 Yes, you said a dog ran in front of your car. 275 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:26,187 But in this traffic camera photo, 276 00:11:26,189 --> 00:11:29,557 the only thing I see is a fox. 277 00:11:31,227 --> 00:11:33,194 She's quite beautiful. 278 00:11:33,196 --> 00:11:35,396 Did she happen to catch your eye? 279 00:11:35,398 --> 00:11:37,064 Oh, I don't... I don't pay attention to joggers 280 00:11:37,066 --> 00:11:39,867 when I'm driving. No, th-they're like pedestrians to me. 281 00:11:39,869 --> 00:11:41,635 I'm just gonna come out and say it: 282 00:11:41,637 --> 00:11:43,070 I think you were rubbernecking. 283 00:11:43,072 --> 00:11:44,405 With the best. 284 00:11:44,407 --> 00:11:46,674 But I unfortunately have no evidence. 285 00:11:46,676 --> 00:11:49,710 So I'm gonna have to close your case. 286 00:11:51,414 --> 00:11:53,981 As long as I don't find anything at the routine inspection 287 00:11:53,983 --> 00:11:56,650 of your vehicle at the body shop. 288 00:12:00,555 --> 00:12:02,556 Well, looks like we're in the clear. 289 00:12:02,558 --> 00:12:04,658 He's not gonna find anything. The only evidence 290 00:12:04,660 --> 00:12:06,527 is some pictures of that jogger in my phone. 291 00:12:06,529 --> 00:12:08,529 Which I haven't even looked at since the accident 292 00:12:08,531 --> 00:12:10,698 because my phone's in my car. 293 00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:13,567 You brought him in here, you bastard! 294 00:12:13,569 --> 00:12:17,338 Rubbernecking is all I have! 295 00:12:19,742 --> 00:12:23,177 Get down there and clean up your mess! 296 00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:28,849 'Twas beauty killed the beast. 297 00:12:30,118 --> 00:12:33,587 Mr. Smith, how odd to see you here. 298 00:12:33,589 --> 00:12:35,623 Have you inspected the car? 299 00:12:35,625 --> 00:12:37,625 Everywhere but under the driver's seat. 300 00:12:37,627 --> 00:12:40,794 I always save that... for dessert. 301 00:12:50,305 --> 00:12:52,706 Nothing. 302 00:12:52,708 --> 00:12:54,808 Mr. Smith, I'm a proud man 303 00:12:54,810 --> 00:12:57,878 but not too proud to admit when I'm beaten. 304 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,414 I'm very proud of that. 305 00:13:00,416 --> 00:13:02,716 Good-bye forever, Mr. Smith. 306 00:13:10,292 --> 00:13:11,853 My glass! 307 00:13:12,627 --> 00:13:15,562 Aw... 308 00:13:15,564 --> 00:13:18,165 Stan? I lied, Stan. 309 00:13:18,167 --> 00:13:21,168 Klaus didn't spill the wine... we both did. 310 00:13:21,170 --> 00:13:23,437 I had to tell you 'cause it's the truth. 311 00:13:23,439 --> 00:13:27,308 And if we ain't got no truth in this world, what do we have? 312 00:13:27,310 --> 00:13:28,942 Damn lies. 313 00:13:28,944 --> 00:13:31,178 You're not Stan. How'd you get Stan's phone? 314 00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:32,746 What else of Stan's do you have? 315 00:13:32,748 --> 00:13:34,348 Let's sell it all and split the dough. 316 00:13:34,350 --> 00:13:37,351 We're in this together. Don't you dare double-cross me! 317 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:43,023 Just as I suspected. 318 00:13:43,025 --> 00:13:45,359 Your crash was caused by rubbernecking. 319 00:13:45,361 --> 00:13:49,330 Mr. Smith, you're under arrest for insurance fraud. 320 00:13:52,535 --> 00:13:54,201 Oh, my God, what happened? 321 00:13:54,203 --> 00:13:58,272 I was checking out a hot chick in a news copter. 322 00:13:58,274 --> 00:14:01,108 See? He told the truth. 323 00:14:01,110 --> 00:14:03,010 And everyone's the better for it. 324 00:14:03,012 --> 00:14:05,012 I'd like to purchase... 325 00:14:05,014 --> 00:14:07,348 some life insurance. 326 00:14:07,350 --> 00:14:08,982 Are you a smoker? 327 00:14:08,984 --> 00:14:10,984 Only when I drink. 328 00:14:18,128 --> 00:14:19,862 Steve, why isn't your mother here? 329 00:14:19,864 --> 00:14:21,196 She's hurt, Dad. 330 00:14:21,198 --> 00:14:23,065 She's so upset about your rubbernecking 331 00:14:23,067 --> 00:14:25,234 she's not even coming to your trial. 332 00:14:25,236 --> 00:14:28,237 And I got to say, I don't blame her. 333 00:14:35,445 --> 00:14:37,746 It's time to wake up, Stan. 334 00:14:37,748 --> 00:14:41,683 ♪ It's time to stand up and be a man ♪ 335 00:14:43,253 --> 00:14:46,255 ♪ Be the husband that you told her you ♪ 336 00:14:46,257 --> 00:14:48,490 ♪ Were gonna be forever 337 00:14:48,492 --> 00:14:51,326 ♪ Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today ♪ 338 00:14:51,328 --> 00:14:54,263 ♪ But I can't see what's wrong with you ♪ 339 00:14:54,265 --> 00:14:56,832 ♪ You got a wife, a hot one, too ♪ 340 00:14:56,834 --> 00:15:00,435 ♪ But if you keep on looking, you won't end up together ♪ 341 00:15:00,437 --> 00:15:02,938 ♪ Oh, my God 342 00:15:02,940 --> 00:15:05,607 ♪ Is she not hot enough 343 00:15:05,609 --> 00:15:07,342 ♪ For you, Dad? 344 00:15:07,344 --> 00:15:10,679 ♪ I can't believe ♪ 345 00:15:10,681 --> 00:15:13,415 ♪ That you can't see ♪ 346 00:15:13,417 --> 00:15:16,418 ♪ Those lips, hips and face 347 00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:19,421 ♪ Body's all over the place 348 00:15:19,423 --> 00:15:21,256 ♪ Oh, yeah 349 00:15:21,258 --> 00:15:24,593 ♪ Damn, that's my mama ♪ That's his mama ♪ 350 00:15:24,595 --> 00:15:26,995 ♪ Damn, if that wasn't my mama ♪ 351 00:15:26,997 --> 00:15:29,464 ♪ Stan, you know it's not fair 352 00:15:29,466 --> 00:15:32,501 ♪ Why you looking at some other ho ♪ 353 00:15:32,503 --> 00:15:36,238 ♪ When she's got the milky breasts and silky hair ♪ 354 00:15:37,173 --> 00:15:39,041 ♪ Helen Keller, open your eyes 355 00:15:39,043 --> 00:15:41,443 ♪ You got the perfect wife 356 00:15:41,445 --> 00:15:44,012 ♪ The time inside her 357 00:15:44,014 --> 00:15:49,017 ♪ Was the best damn nine months of my life ♪ 358 00:15:49,019 --> 00:15:51,720 ♪ Is she not hot enough 359 00:15:51,722 --> 00:15:53,222 ♪ For you, Dad? 360 00:15:53,224 --> 00:15:55,524 ♪ I can't believe ♪ 361 00:15:55,526 --> 00:15:59,161 ♪ Ooh, oh, my God, oh, my God ♪ That you can't see ♪ 362 00:15:59,163 --> 00:16:01,463 ♪ Now I'm thinking maybe she's 363 00:16:01,465 --> 00:16:02,965 ♪ Just too hot 364 00:16:02,967 --> 00:16:04,333 ♪ For someone 365 00:16:04,335 --> 00:16:07,069 - ♪ As blind as you... - Steve! 366 00:16:07,071 --> 00:16:09,805 Seriously, this isn't a great place not to be wearing a shirt. 367 00:16:09,807 --> 00:16:12,474 Let him sing! 368 00:16:20,650 --> 00:16:22,251 All right. 369 00:16:22,253 --> 00:16:25,854 Mr. Smith, you will be judged by a jury of your peers, 370 00:16:25,856 --> 00:16:27,756 who just happen to all be 371 00:16:27,758 --> 00:16:29,758 married women around your wife's age. 372 00:16:31,562 --> 00:16:35,264 Mr. Smith, this is a photo not of the dog you claimed to avoid 373 00:16:35,266 --> 00:16:37,266 but of an admittedly attractive jogger 374 00:16:37,268 --> 00:16:39,701 that you took at the time of your accident. 375 00:16:39,703 --> 00:16:42,604 And here is a photo of your wife. 376 00:16:42,606 --> 00:16:44,006 With a wife this attractive, 377 00:16:44,008 --> 00:16:46,074 why were you looking at another woman? 378 00:16:46,076 --> 00:16:48,610 Are you some kind of deviant? 379 00:16:48,612 --> 00:16:50,012 What? No. 380 00:16:50,014 --> 00:16:52,814 Looking at other women is normal. It's... 381 00:16:53,616 --> 00:16:54,750 Mr. Smith? 382 00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:55,951 You were saying? 383 00:16:55,953 --> 00:16:57,719 No, I-I-I don't, I don't think I was. 384 00:16:57,721 --> 00:17:00,589 Come on, Mr. Smith. Admit it. 385 00:17:00,591 --> 00:17:05,294 You're a sex-crazed maniac, no better than a U.S. senator. 386 00:17:05,296 --> 00:17:06,695 How dare you! 387 00:17:06,697 --> 00:17:08,931 I am a lot of things, but not a senator! 388 00:17:08,933 --> 00:17:11,767 Then why were you taking these photos?! 389 00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:13,635 Because I was rubbernecking! 390 00:17:13,637 --> 00:17:14,803 All men do it! 391 00:17:16,974 --> 00:17:18,874 I don't. 392 00:17:18,876 --> 00:17:20,275 You're a dead man, Smith! 393 00:17:20,277 --> 00:17:21,944 You are gonna die! 394 00:17:21,946 --> 00:17:23,412 I don't know where or when, 395 00:17:23,414 --> 00:17:26,281 but each of us has to go in our own time! 396 00:17:26,283 --> 00:17:28,383 Is that even a threat? 397 00:17:28,385 --> 00:17:29,751 Order! Order! 398 00:17:29,753 --> 00:17:31,053 The gallery will refrain 399 00:17:31,055 --> 00:17:33,221 from shouting out existential truisms! 400 00:17:33,223 --> 00:17:34,790 Listen, I know I'm a judge 401 00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:37,759 and I'm supposed to make sure you get a fair trial, 402 00:17:37,761 --> 00:17:40,796 but everyone in here should be disgusted with you. 403 00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:44,099 If my wife looked like yours, I'd never take my eyes off her. 404 00:17:44,101 --> 00:17:45,934 Oh, you wouldn't, would you? 405 00:17:45,936 --> 00:17:50,072 Wait, Your Honor, can I ask the court for a quick recess? 406 00:17:51,074 --> 00:17:52,808 Didn't really wait for my answer... 407 00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:54,509 Steve, take this to your mother. 408 00:17:54,511 --> 00:17:56,111 She doesn't want to hear it, Dad. 409 00:17:56,113 --> 00:17:58,246 She won't have to hear it. She'll have to read it. 410 00:17:58,248 --> 00:18:00,949 Just make sure she does. 411 00:18:00,951 --> 00:18:01,950 Whatever. 412 00:18:01,952 --> 00:18:03,151 20 minute recess. 413 00:18:03,153 --> 00:18:04,853 Dick. 414 00:18:11,494 --> 00:18:13,462 Oh... 415 00:18:15,765 --> 00:18:17,165 Well, I forgot where we were, 416 00:18:17,167 --> 00:18:19,034 so I guess, Mr. Smith, you have the floor. 417 00:18:19,036 --> 00:18:20,335 You're a bad judge. 418 00:18:20,337 --> 00:18:23,171 Well, I'm not the one on trial, am I? 419 00:18:23,173 --> 00:18:24,439 Am I? 420 00:18:25,475 --> 00:18:26,541 Proceed. 421 00:18:30,213 --> 00:18:32,614 Your Honor, I'd like to call to the stand... 422 00:18:32,616 --> 00:18:34,449 Francine Smith. 423 00:18:55,972 --> 00:18:57,239 Busted! 424 00:18:57,241 --> 00:18:59,541 Rubbernecking! Rubbernecking! 425 00:18:59,543 --> 00:19:01,743 Rubberne... 426 00:19:02,979 --> 00:19:03,979 Rubbernecking! 427 00:19:03,981 --> 00:19:05,414 You were all rubbernecking! 428 00:19:05,416 --> 00:19:07,816 See? I told you! All men do it. 429 00:19:07,818 --> 00:19:09,684 But that doesn't make us bad guys. 430 00:19:09,686 --> 00:19:11,753 It's like I said in my note, Francine. 431 00:19:11,755 --> 00:19:13,688 I may look at other women, but... 432 00:19:13,690 --> 00:19:15,757 it doesn't mean I love you any less. 433 00:19:15,759 --> 00:19:19,995 My eyes may wander, but my heart always comes home. 434 00:19:19,997 --> 00:19:21,663 Oh, Stan. 435 00:19:21,665 --> 00:19:26,101 Well, to be completely honest, when I walked in here, 436 00:19:26,103 --> 00:19:29,037 it felt kind of good being looked at. 437 00:19:29,039 --> 00:19:32,441 ♪ Yo, fellas, so what my girl wants to wear a short skirt? ♪ 438 00:19:32,443 --> 00:19:33,875 ♪ It be hot in Virginia 439 00:19:33,877 --> 00:19:35,110 ♪ I'm gonna wear a skirt 440 00:19:35,112 --> 00:19:37,612 ♪ Me, too, I want to be seen 441 00:19:37,614 --> 00:19:40,749 ♪ You look like a prostitute but it's not obscene ♪ 442 00:19:40,751 --> 00:19:43,752 ♪ If I got the goods and my body's rocking ♪ 443 00:19:43,754 --> 00:19:46,521 ♪ Ain't nothing wrong with window-shopping ♪ 444 00:19:46,523 --> 00:19:49,524 ♪ I get looked at all the time ♪ 445 00:19:49,526 --> 00:19:52,894 ♪ Tons and tons and tons of times ♪ 446 00:19:52,896 --> 00:19:55,730 ♪ How much is normal to get looked at? ♪ 447 00:19:55,732 --> 00:19:57,265 ♪ You can double that 448 00:19:57,267 --> 00:19:59,601 ♪ That's how much I get looked at ♪ 449 00:19:59,603 --> 00:20:01,970 ♪ It's pretty annoying sometimes ♪ 450 00:20:01,972 --> 00:20:04,606 ♪ But you live with it when you're hecka good-looking ♪ 451 00:20:04,608 --> 00:20:07,576 ♪ See, rubbernecking just ain't no crime ♪ 452 00:20:07,578 --> 00:20:10,312 ♪ We're doing it just to pass the time ♪ 453 00:20:10,314 --> 00:20:14,082 ♪ We might look but you'll go home with only me ♪ 454 00:20:14,084 --> 00:20:16,118 ♪ My eyes may wander 455 00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:18,787 ♪ But my heart comes home 456 00:20:18,789 --> 00:20:21,957 ♪ Comes home, comes home ♪ ♪ My eyes may wander 457 00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:24,793 ♪ But my heart comes home 458 00:20:24,795 --> 00:20:28,063 ♪ Comes home, comes home ♪ ♪ If Francine wasn't my mama 459 00:20:28,065 --> 00:20:31,099 ♪ Lord, you know I'd try to bone... ♪ 460 00:20:31,101 --> 00:20:32,467 Come on, Steve. 461 00:20:32,469 --> 00:20:34,769 ♪ Lord, I've learned my lesson 462 00:20:34,771 --> 00:20:37,472 ♪ Lord, I've learned my lesson ♪ 463 00:20:37,474 --> 00:20:40,342 ♪ Lord, we've learned our lesson ♪ 464 00:20:40,344 --> 00:20:42,177 ♪ Tonight! 465 00:20:42,179 --> 00:20:44,746 That was a lot of fun to sing. 466 00:20:44,748 --> 00:20:46,181 But unfortunately, Mr. Smith, 467 00:20:46,183 --> 00:20:47,916 you're on trial for insurance fraud, 468 00:20:47,918 --> 00:20:50,185 which you definitely did. 469 00:20:50,187 --> 00:20:53,188 I hereby sentence you to six years in prison. 470 00:20:53,190 --> 00:20:55,090 Lucky! 471 00:21:23,386 --> 00:21:25,287 We need a new couch! 472 00:21:25,657 --> 00:21:28,291 Bye! Have a beautiful time.