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♪ Good morning, USA! ♪
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♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
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♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
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♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
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♪ Good... ♪
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Good... morning, everyone.
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It is a beautiful
72 degrees out.
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Today has so much promise.
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Today?
Try Berlin in '38.
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So many different people.
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So many opinions.
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A marketplace of ideas.
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Anyway,
today in sex-ed,
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we're asking our teacher
anonymous questions.
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It can be anything
we want to know.
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That's great, honey.
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You know, Steve, legend has it,
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that if you can stump
a sex-ed teacher,
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you become the
sex-ed teacher.
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"There can be only one!"
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Hey. Did you guys know
that there's a landmass
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made up of garbage that's
floating in the Pacific Ocean?
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You shouldn't
have to go that far
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just to throw away
that manly jacket.
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Well, I'm tired of ignoring
the world's problems.
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So, today, I start my new job
for a local news reporter
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with a brand-new show.
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Oh, that sounds hard.
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Are you sure you want to bother?
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Look, this is my chance
to get the truth out there
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about Garbage Island
and so many other things.
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People need to know the dangers
of eating non-organic fruit
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and that vaccines are--
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Hayley! Behind you!
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Damn it!
One at a time, you guys.
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This is why we had
all those drills.
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Whatever.
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I'm going out there
to make a difference.
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♪ It's asking for the taking ♪
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♪ Trembling, shaking ♪
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♪ Oh, my heart is aching ♪
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♪ We're coming to the edge ♪
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♪ Running on the water ♪
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♪ Coming through the fog ♪
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♪ Your sons and daughters ♪
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♪ Let the river run ♪
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♪ Let the river run ♪
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♪ Let all the dreamers ♪
♪ Let all the dreamers ♪
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♪ Wake the nation ♪
♪ Wake the nation ♪
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♪ Come, the New Jerusalem. ♪
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Oh, come on!
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I'm Genevieve Vavance.
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Tonight on News Glance:
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Is heroin the
new cure for cancer?
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What I don't know about things
will shock you.
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And cut. We're clear.
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You're late.
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You're Genevieve Vavance?
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I thought I was working for
a real reporter.
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I am a real reporter.
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I broadcast live to Langley
Falls every night on channel 438
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after reruns of the
Taiwanese prayer breakfast.
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First pitch meeting
is this afternoon.
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Prepare to wow me.
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You're already halfway there.
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I love that jacket.
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Is it...?
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Yeah. Cheap.
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All right.
It's time for me to answer
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your anonymous questions
about sex.
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"I've had sex three times."
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Kudos.
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But that's not a question.
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"What's it called when you
kiss someone on the toilet?"
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Good question.
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Scientists call that
a "San Diego Thank You."
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"Is it true that, during sex,
a woman's uterus can create
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a vacuum-like effect and suck
a person up inside of it?"
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Idiot.
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Hold up. Hold up.
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I recognize this handwriting.
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It's Steve Smith's.
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Hey, Steve! Look out...!
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Okay. Story ideas.
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Now, I don't know
where you worked before,
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but Genevieve Vavance does
things a little differently.
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Now, pitch.
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How 'bout we do a report
on the corruption
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in the Langley Light Rail?
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No.
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Can we please get
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a bullet intern to make sure
I always have bullets?
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We had one?
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What happened to her?
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Oh, that's right.
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She went back to school.
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She was great.
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She's gonna do great things.
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Well, I want to do an exposé
about Garbage Island.
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It's a giant mass of trash
polluting the Pacific Ocean.
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You know what's garbage?
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That story.
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Come on, I need something juicy
to boost my ratings!
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I need a serial killer priest!
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I need a vegetarian cop!
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I need a senator cheating
on his wife with a bagel!
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All of you, get out there
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and find me my JonBenét Ramsey!
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But Garbage Island is a story
that people need to hear.
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I'll tell you what:
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you find me a story
that gets me ratings
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and I'll let you report on as
much idealistic crap as you want.
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Genevieve?
My bagel and I are ready
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to tell our side of the story.
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You have my ear, Senator.
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Today was awful.
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Someone spray painted
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"Steve Smith thinks
vaginas suck",
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on my locker.
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So what?
People think you're gay.
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I wish!
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No one thinks I'm sexual at all,
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because of the stupid question
I asked in class.
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My day was worse.
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My new boss is Roger.
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I-I wanted to make
a difference in the world,
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but he just wants a missing
kid to sensationalize.
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Missing kids are so lucky.
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I'd kill to disappear right now.
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Wait a minute...
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What if you did disappear?
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What do you mean?
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Yeah. Yeah.
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We pretend you were kidnapped
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and we hide you away for a week,
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Roger gets his
missing person story
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and then I get to do my exposé
on Garbage Island.
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That's great!
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By the time I get back,
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everyone will have
forgotten all about
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my ignorance of the fairer sex!
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I'm not as concerned about
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what you're getting
out of it, but sure.
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I rented this cabin
for the next week.
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Y-You sure
you'll be okay?
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Of course!
I'll be fine.
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Geez, Steve.
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Four gallons of Lubriderm?
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You try living with eczema.
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All right.
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Time to report a disappearance.
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Hello?
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Genevieve?
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It's Hayley.
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I think I have your story.
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My little brother
has gone missing!
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Steve is missing?!
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How horrible for him.
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But fantastic for us!
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We can make this national news!
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They said I wasn't
good enough for television.
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How do you like me now,
voices in my head?
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There's no pleasing you guys!
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No, not you, Marc.
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You're always super positive.
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Hard-hitting reporter.
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Truth seeker.
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Curves membership.
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This is News Glance
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with Genevieve Vavance.
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Sad news out of
Langley Falls tonight,
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stunningly gorgeous
high school student,
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Steve Smith, has gone missing.
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Athletic. Chiseled. Missing.
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All we know right now is that
Steve was last seen at home
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with his family
and he is adorable.
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This isn't some ugly kid
who went missing. No.
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This is a person who matters.
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To fully understand
the weight of this tragedy,
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let's take a look at some photos
of Steve to the song,
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"It's So Hard
to Say Goodbye to Yesterday",
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from the notable Boyz II Men
album, "Cooleyhighharmony."
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♪ And I'll take... ♪
♪ Take with me ♪
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♪ With me the memories... ♪
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♪ To be my sunshine ♪
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♪ After the rain ♪
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♪ It's so hard ♪
♪ Hard ♪
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♪ To say goodbye ♪
♪ Bye ♪
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♪ To yesterday. ♪
♪ Day. ♪
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It's too early to speculate
whether Steve is dead or alive,
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but, when we come back,
it won't be.
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And now,
a word from our sponsor,
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BeerWater.
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You can lead a horse to water,
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00:08:01,831 --> 00:08:04,566
but you can't make him party.
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Unless you have BeerWater!
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BeerWater--
quench your sober.
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This is great, right?!
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I just saw the early ratings
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and we're holding 81 percent
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of the Taiwanese
prayer breakfast numbers.
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Yeah. Listen, now that
I got you your hot story,
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I get to do my report on
Garbage Island, right?
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Yeah. We're definitely
gonna do that.
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A thousand percent,
top priority on my mind.
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♪ It's so hard... ♪
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What the hell is that?
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♪ To say goodbye... ♪
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And we...
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00:08:38,701 --> 00:08:41,603
have... vigil.
♪ To yesterday. ♪
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Look how sad everyone is.
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I did this!
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00:08:48,311 --> 00:08:52,180
Officer, please,
find our baby boy.
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We're doing everything we can
with the evidence we have.
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Which... is...
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no evidence.
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But we will, uh...
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find him?
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00:09:02,692 --> 00:09:05,260
Whoa. A monkey
holding a banana?!
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00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:07,896
So many Beanie Babies here
I haven't seen before.
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00:09:07,930 --> 00:09:09,464
Francine, look at this one!
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00:09:09,499 --> 00:09:11,533
It's a bear in a bunny costume.
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00:09:11,567 --> 00:09:14,169
What are you doing
in a bunny costume, bear?
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00:09:14,203 --> 00:09:16,838
I'm here with the parents,
Stan and Francine Smith.
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Do you folks have a statement?
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I just want
my baby to come home.
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00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,044
Of course you do.
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00:09:22,078 --> 00:09:24,146
But I'd let yourself
want other things, too.
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I mean, we're at a vigil.
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It's not like you have those
when things are going great.
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If you'll excuse me,
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00:09:33,189 --> 00:09:34,923
I have to go
comfort my wife now.
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I bet a Beanie Baby
would cheer her up.
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Like this one.
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She might like this one.
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00:09:39,862 --> 00:09:41,022
This one reminds me of
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Abigail Breslin.
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Not so much the way it looks,
but its energy.
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Great work, Hayley!
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This story is
just what I needed.
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I know, but I feel awful.
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My mom is devastated.
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00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:55,310
Well, yeah,
her little baby's missing.
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Th-That's the thing,
he's...
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...he's not really missing.
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I, I kind of staged
the whole thing.
249
00:10:02,785 --> 00:10:05,153
Oh, my God, Hayley!
250
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:07,189
You're a journalist!
What?!
251
00:10:07,223 --> 00:10:08,390
Sure!
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We don't report the news,
we make it.
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Accuracy is so time-consuming.
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Fiction is the new fact.
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00:10:13,296 --> 00:10:15,197
Roger, these people
need to know that
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Steve isn't missing, okay?
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I got to come clean on this.
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00:10:18,234 --> 00:10:19,701
You know what else
has to come clean?
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00:10:19,736 --> 00:10:21,169
Garbage Island.
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00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:22,437
Don't you still
want to do your report?
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00:10:22,472 --> 00:10:24,006
Of course I do!
262
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,742
But, uh,
my mom, she's so torn up.
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00:10:26,776 --> 00:10:29,678
Look, just let this ride
for one more day, all right?
264
00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:31,813
Besides, the more popular
the story gets,
265
00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:32,981
the more viewers we'll have
266
00:10:33,016 --> 00:10:34,683
for your bummer piece
on Garbage Island.
267
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:35,851
Fine.
268
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,052
One more day.
269
00:10:37,086 --> 00:10:38,720
All right.
I'm gonna take a lap.
270
00:10:38,755 --> 00:10:42,057
It's super easy to take peoples'
wallets while they're crying.
271
00:10:42,091 --> 00:10:44,726
Justice hunter. Philanthropist.
272
00:10:44,761 --> 00:10:46,295
Has a Gmail account.
273
00:10:46,329 --> 00:10:50,732
This is News Glance
with Genevieve Vavance.
274
00:10:50,767 --> 00:10:53,235
Been a tough day for all of us
here at the Glance.
275
00:10:53,269 --> 00:10:56,705
Steve Smith has now been
missing for 36 hours.
276
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:58,574
I'm joined by some of
Steve's classmates.
277
00:10:58,608 --> 00:10:59,975
You look like the type of girls
278
00:11:00,009 --> 00:11:01,710
who do a lot of
regrettable things.
279
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:02,945
How does it feel today,
280
00:11:02,979 --> 00:11:04,780
knowing you'll probably
never get to hit that?
281
00:11:04,781 --> 00:11:07,416
Sad. Steve was
really cute.
282
00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:10,085
I guess I just wish
I could've hit that.
283
00:11:10,119 --> 00:11:12,254
It's so important
to have sex with people
284
00:11:12,288 --> 00:11:13,555
before they go missing.
285
00:11:15,625 --> 00:11:17,459
All those girls want me?!
286
00:11:17,493 --> 00:11:18,927
Awesome!
287
00:11:18,962 --> 00:11:22,731
The longer I stay in this cabin,
the more laid I'm gonna get!
288
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,600
Yeah.
289
00:11:27,136 --> 00:11:28,136
More volume!
290
00:11:28,171 --> 00:11:29,705
I want it super big!
291
00:11:29,739 --> 00:11:31,206
You're doing a great job.
292
00:11:31,241 --> 00:11:33,308
I know I'm demanding,
but I'm working on it.
293
00:11:33,343 --> 00:11:35,410
But it also got me
where I am today.
294
00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:37,713
So when I ask you to
make it super big,
295
00:11:37,747 --> 00:11:39,114
I mean, make it super big!
296
00:11:39,148 --> 00:11:41,116
I will murder you!
297
00:11:41,150 --> 00:11:43,151
I'm sorry.
Work in progress.
298
00:11:43,186 --> 00:11:45,420
God is not finished
with this gal.
299
00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:50,092
Hey, Genevieve, I'm all set to
do my story on Garbage Island.
300
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,526
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we'll get to it.
301
00:11:51,561 --> 00:11:53,729
But first, I got an
exclusive with the parents.
302
00:11:53,763 --> 00:11:56,098
Wait. What?!
303
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,532
And we're back.
304
00:11:57,567 --> 00:11:59,902
I'm here tonight
with Stan and Francine Smith,
305
00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:04,239
heartbroken parents of America's
missing son, Steve Smith.
306
00:12:04,274 --> 00:12:06,642
Stan, Francine,
307
00:12:06,676 --> 00:12:08,644
why did you murder your son?
308
00:12:08,678 --> 00:12:10,712
What?!
Not ready to confess?
309
00:12:10,747 --> 00:12:12,347
Let's look at some statistics.
310
00:12:12,382 --> 00:12:15,651
100% of the time a child goes
missing, the parents did it.
311
00:12:15,685 --> 00:12:16,985
Legally not a fact.
312
00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:18,220
What are you talking about?
313
00:12:18,254 --> 00:12:19,388
And where'd you hide the body?
314
00:12:19,422 --> 00:12:20,856
We didn't hide the body.
315
00:12:20,890 --> 00:12:22,057
So you admit there's a body?!
316
00:12:22,091 --> 00:12:23,225
Why are you doing this?!
317
00:12:23,259 --> 00:12:25,093
I'm sorry.
Its been a long week.
318
00:12:25,128 --> 00:12:26,461
Emotions are running wild.
319
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:28,630
Can I get you something?
A BeerWater perhaps?
320
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,499
No, thanks.
That stuff gives me diarrhea.
321
00:12:34,737 --> 00:12:37,005
Stan, are you close
with your son?
322
00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:38,907
No, but that doesn't mean
I murdered him!
323
00:12:38,942 --> 00:12:41,376
Interesting.
Can we play that back?
324
00:12:41,411 --> 00:12:43,245
I murdered him!
325
00:12:43,279 --> 00:12:45,180
You son of a bitch!
326
00:12:45,215 --> 00:12:46,782
Oh!
327
00:12:46,816 --> 00:12:48,550
We have to take a break.
328
00:12:48,585 --> 00:12:50,118
BeerWater...
329
00:12:50,153 --> 00:12:51,687
it won't give you diarrhea.
330
00:12:53,590 --> 00:12:54,923
Just keep it natural.
331
00:12:54,958 --> 00:12:57,926
You guys are doing great.
You're coming off super likable.
332
00:12:57,961 --> 00:13:00,629
Francine, how many times
did you stab your son?
333
00:13:00,663 --> 00:13:02,464
None!
Huh.
334
00:13:02,499 --> 00:13:04,566
Well, my team and I
created a reenactment
335
00:13:04,601 --> 00:13:07,236
of what we believe happened
the night Steve disappeared.
336
00:13:08,771 --> 00:13:10,906
You know what
I've been thinking about lately?
337
00:13:10,940 --> 00:13:13,909
How Steve is the worst?
338
00:13:13,943 --> 00:13:16,144
Yes! I kind of want
to murder him.
339
00:13:16,179 --> 00:13:18,814
Great idea!
We'll use my knife!
340
00:13:21,351 --> 00:13:23,185
Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad!
341
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:25,420
Just coming in here to love you.
342
00:13:33,196 --> 00:13:36,632
I... forgive... you.
343
00:13:44,774 --> 00:13:47,442
Gruesome stuff.
344
00:13:47,477 --> 00:13:49,778
Can you two stick around
for my next guest? Yeah?
345
00:13:49,812 --> 00:13:52,481
Well, please welcome
Officer Keith Benson!
346
00:13:52,515 --> 00:13:53,248
What?!
347
00:13:53,283 --> 00:13:54,716
Stan and Francine Smith,
348
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:57,252
you are under arrest for
the murder of your son.
349
00:13:57,287 --> 00:13:58,387
What the hell?!
350
00:13:58,421 --> 00:13:59,555
We didn't kill him!
351
00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:00,789
We love our son!
352
00:14:00,824 --> 00:14:02,291
Wait! Officer, please!
353
00:14:02,325 --> 00:14:04,359
You're making a mistake!
354
00:14:04,394 --> 00:14:06,161
Tragic.
355
00:14:06,196 --> 00:14:07,629
After the break: bulimia.
356
00:14:07,664 --> 00:14:09,965
Bad for you,
but is it good for your toilet?
357
00:14:09,999 --> 00:14:12,000
Find out tonight at 11:00.
358
00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:16,827
Are you crazy?!
359
00:14:16,861 --> 00:14:18,962
You let my mom and
dad go to jail?!
360
00:14:18,996 --> 00:14:21,998
Now, I know you're angry, but
try not to let that come through
361
00:14:22,033 --> 00:14:24,801
when you do your report
on Garbage Island, which is now!
362
00:14:24,836 --> 00:14:27,137
Go!
363
00:14:27,171 --> 00:14:31,708
Um... m-mo-most people like to
get wasted on an exotic island,
364
00:14:31,742 --> 00:14:34,311
but this island is waste.
365
00:14:35,580 --> 00:14:37,147
I'm sorry. I can't do this.
366
00:14:37,181 --> 00:14:38,482
Isn't she a trouper?
367
00:14:38,516 --> 00:14:39,983
Still trying to save the world
368
00:14:40,017 --> 00:14:41,451
when, just moments ago,
she learned
369
00:14:41,486 --> 00:14:43,887
that her parents murdered
her little handsome brother.
370
00:14:43,921 --> 00:14:45,756
They murdered her brother!
371
00:14:45,790 --> 00:14:48,592
Camera two,
they murdered her brother!
372
00:14:48,626 --> 00:14:51,428
I'm sorry. Cut! Cut!
I can't do this!
373
00:14:56,234 --> 00:14:59,102
Okay, from the top.
374
00:15:05,476 --> 00:15:07,210
Steve!
My orchestra!
375
00:15:07,245 --> 00:15:09,579
Pack your bags, Steve.
We're going home.
376
00:15:09,614 --> 00:15:12,115
Home? Are you crazy?
377
00:15:12,150 --> 00:15:13,984
"Steve Fever" is starting
to build.
378
00:15:14,018 --> 00:15:15,485
I'll be dropping more panties
379
00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,788
than when Mr. Bean worked
at Victoria's Secret.
380
00:15:17,822 --> 00:15:19,256
Haven't you been watching?!
381
00:15:19,290 --> 00:15:21,024
Mom and Dad got arrested!
382
00:15:21,059 --> 00:15:24,761
Huh?!
Yeah. This kidnapping is officially over.
383
00:15:24,796 --> 00:15:27,230
Un... expected... twist!
384
00:15:27,265 --> 00:15:29,366
It is with a heavy heart
385
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,635
that I must report one
of my own journalists,
386
00:15:31,669 --> 00:15:33,704
Hayley Smith,
kidnapped her brother
387
00:15:33,738 --> 00:15:37,040
and framed her own parents
for his murder!
388
00:15:37,075 --> 00:15:38,141
Let her take the fall,
389
00:15:38,176 --> 00:15:39,209
or you're going down with her.
390
00:15:39,243 --> 00:15:41,044
Thank God we found him!
391
00:15:41,079 --> 00:15:43,547
He seems to be okay,
at least above the waist.
392
00:15:43,581 --> 00:15:46,450
Steve, did she do stuff to you?
393
00:15:46,484 --> 00:15:48,585
Oh, God, she did!
394
00:15:48,619 --> 00:15:49,786
Camera two,
395
00:15:49,821 --> 00:15:50,987
she did!
396
00:15:51,022 --> 00:15:52,155
What?!
397
00:15:52,190 --> 00:15:53,390
These are all lies!
398
00:15:53,424 --> 00:15:54,725
Steve, tell them the truth!
399
00:15:59,797 --> 00:16:01,865
Genevieve Vavance is right!
400
00:16:01,899 --> 00:16:03,533
My sister kidnapped me!
401
00:16:03,568 --> 00:16:04,835
Steve!
402
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:08,939
We got a runner!
403
00:16:08,973 --> 00:16:11,508
You cops split up
and comb each side of the river.
404
00:16:11,542 --> 00:16:13,210
Don't come back
until you get her!
405
00:16:13,244 --> 00:16:15,011
Genevieve, is that you?
406
00:16:15,046 --> 00:16:16,780
It's me-- Edward.
407
00:16:16,814 --> 00:16:18,482
Edward? No.
408
00:16:18,516 --> 00:16:20,350
No, you can't be Edward.
409
00:16:20,385 --> 00:16:23,353
Edward weighed at least
25 pounds more than you.
410
00:16:23,388 --> 00:16:25,188
I lost that weight
in the academy.
411
00:16:25,223 --> 00:16:26,823
You look good, Genny.
412
00:16:26,858 --> 00:16:28,992
I see you kept my name.
413
00:16:29,027 --> 00:16:31,194
Only because
it was TV-ready.
414
00:16:31,229 --> 00:16:33,096
I'm married to my career now.
415
00:16:33,131 --> 00:16:35,132
You always were.
416
00:16:37,535 --> 00:16:39,036
I got to go, Eddie.
417
00:16:39,070 --> 00:16:41,171
My story's leaving,
and I got to chase it.
418
00:16:44,542 --> 00:16:47,377
Hey, Sarge, was that her?
419
00:16:47,412 --> 00:16:49,413
I get it now.
420
00:17:01,893 --> 00:17:05,562
Hey, you mind if I borrow
your Metro section?
421
00:17:05,596 --> 00:17:07,597
Sure.
422
00:17:10,068 --> 00:17:14,338
Tonight, don't miss
The Steve Smith Homecoming Spectacular
423
00:17:14,372 --> 00:17:18,241
hosted live by legendary
reporter, Genevieve Vavance,
424
00:17:18,276 --> 00:17:19,843
with a special tribute
425
00:17:19,877 --> 00:17:23,213
by universally-likable
crooner Josh Groban!
426
00:17:29,287 --> 00:17:30,954
Ladies and gentlemen,
427
00:17:30,988 --> 00:17:34,224
it's The Steve Smith
Homecoming Spectacular!
428
00:17:34,258 --> 00:17:37,594
Please welcome special
musical guest Josh Groban!
429
00:17:39,197 --> 00:17:42,833
♪ He was lost
but now he's found ♪
430
00:17:42,867 --> 00:17:46,003
♪ We just wanted
to have him around ♪
431
00:17:46,037 --> 00:17:49,940
♪ He's the Steveiest,
he's the Steveiest ♪
432
00:17:49,974 --> 00:17:52,943
♪ He's utterly Steve ♪
433
00:17:52,977 --> 00:17:56,380
♪ Oh, Steve, in the night we called for you ♪
434
00:17:56,414 --> 00:17:59,383
♪ Steve, in the night we bawled for you ♪
435
00:17:59,417 --> 00:18:01,118
♪ Now you're home ♪
436
00:18:01,152 --> 00:18:04,221
♪ Stay with us ♪
437
00:18:04,255 --> 00:18:10,160
♪ Stay, Steve! ♪
438
00:18:12,897 --> 00:18:14,865
And please welcome
my dear friend
439
00:18:14,899 --> 00:18:17,467
and spiritual guide,
Miss Genevieve Vavance.
440
00:18:19,404 --> 00:18:21,271
Thanks, Grobes.
See you next month in Mexico.
441
00:18:21,305 --> 00:18:22,973
I put your name on the room,
442
00:18:23,007 --> 00:18:25,075
in case you want
to check in before me.
443
00:18:25,109 --> 00:18:27,644
And now let's have
a big welcome back for
444
00:18:27,679 --> 00:18:31,248
Steve Smith and his parents,
Stan and Francine!
445
00:18:35,053 --> 00:18:36,520
Thank you for being here.
446
00:18:36,554 --> 00:18:38,021
Now, let's start
with the parents.
447
00:18:38,056 --> 00:18:39,256
How thankful are you
448
00:18:39,290 --> 00:18:41,825
that my accusing you of murder
has brought an end
449
00:18:41,859 --> 00:18:42,993
to this terrible ordeal?
450
00:18:43,027 --> 00:18:44,795
On a scale from 90 to 100.
451
00:18:44,829 --> 00:18:47,297
Then... 90.
452
00:18:47,332 --> 00:18:49,066
90. Wow! Still an A!
453
00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:51,735
They don't just give those out!
454
00:18:52,770 --> 00:18:56,373
And Steve Smith,
here you are, safe, free,
455
00:18:56,407 --> 00:18:58,175
the nightmare behind you.
456
00:18:58,209 --> 00:19:01,345
Tell us: what was it like to
be kidnapped by your own sister?
457
00:19:01,379 --> 00:19:03,080
Well, I...
458
00:19:03,114 --> 00:19:04,147
I'm not sure.
459
00:19:04,182 --> 00:19:05,482
Is that right?
460
00:19:05,516 --> 00:19:07,918
Well, maybe
the teleprompter can help.
461
00:19:10,455 --> 00:19:13,156
Um... I... Well...
462
00:19:13,191 --> 00:19:15,325
Uh, I had heard
that there was never a time
463
00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:16,960
you weren't certain
you were going to die.
464
00:19:18,296 --> 00:19:20,464
Every girl
in that crowd wants you.
465
00:19:20,498 --> 00:19:22,432
Just read the damn prompter.
466
00:19:25,870 --> 00:19:28,472
"My crazy sister locked me up
467
00:19:28,506 --> 00:19:31,441
and made me kiss a raccoon
on the mouth..."
468
00:19:31,476 --> 00:19:33,443
No! That's not true.
469
00:19:33,478 --> 00:19:34,645
None of this is!
470
00:19:34,679 --> 00:19:36,346
Wha-What-What?!
471
00:19:36,381 --> 00:19:37,648
I can't do this.
472
00:19:37,682 --> 00:19:39,516
My sister didn't kidnap me.
473
00:19:39,550 --> 00:19:42,386
I humiliated myself at school,
so she helped me hide.
474
00:19:42,420 --> 00:19:44,221
This entire thing was staged.
475
00:19:45,490 --> 00:19:47,658
And Genevieve Vavance
was in on it.
476
00:19:47,692 --> 00:19:50,761
Yes, I staged
Steve's kidnapping,
477
00:19:50,795 --> 00:19:52,763
but Genevieve Vavance
knew about it.
478
00:19:52,797 --> 00:19:54,831
She had my parents
arrested for a crime
479
00:19:54,866 --> 00:19:56,433
she knew they didn't commit,
480
00:19:56,467 --> 00:19:58,835
and when I told her to stop,
she framed me, too.
481
00:19:58,870 --> 00:20:00,370
We trusted you!
482
00:20:00,405 --> 00:20:02,205
You're supposed to be a journalist!
483
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:05,309
I can't read!
I depend on you!
484
00:20:05,343 --> 00:20:07,511
Whoa!
485
00:20:07,545 --> 00:20:10,247
Uh, uh, everyone, a big hand
486
00:20:10,281 --> 00:20:12,015
for the BeerWater mermaids!
487
00:20:26,130 --> 00:20:29,533
Hayley, I'm sorry I let
everyone think you kidnapped me.
488
00:20:29,567 --> 00:20:30,462
No, Steve.
489
00:20:30,582 --> 00:20:32,603
I'm the one who owes
you an apology.
490
00:20:32,637 --> 00:20:35,706
I just wanted to be a journalist
and get the truth out there,
491
00:20:35,740 --> 00:20:39,209
but I ended up compromising
all my beliefs along the way.
492
00:20:39,243 --> 00:20:41,411
I learned my lesson.
493
00:20:41,446 --> 00:20:43,614
I'll never be ambitious again.
494
00:20:43,648 --> 00:20:45,248
Hayley, I have no idea
what's going on,
495
00:20:45,283 --> 00:20:48,599
but it sounds like
I should be proud of you.
496
00:20:48,719 --> 00:20:49,853
That ballad was supposed
497
00:20:49,887 --> 00:20:52,018
to be my "Candle in
the Wind", you dicks.
498
00:20:56,227 --> 00:20:58,245
All right, I'm gonna do the
bumpers for the next few shows.
499
00:20:58,365 --> 00:21:00,466
Just keep it rollin'.
I ain't doing this twice.
500
00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:03,102
What household item could
kill you in the next half-hour?
501
00:21:03,136 --> 00:21:06,038
We'll tell you tonight...
at 11:00!
502
00:21:06,073 --> 00:21:08,341
Easily surprised?
You'll be shocked
503
00:21:08,375 --> 00:21:10,476
by what you learn
tonight at 11:00.
504
00:21:10,510 --> 00:21:13,031
Texting and driving--
how it may save your life.
505
00:21:13,151 --> 00:21:14,780
Tonight at 11:00!
506
00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:16,482
Is Mario Lopez gay?
507
00:21:16,516 --> 00:21:18,918
We make irresponsible guesses,
tonight at 11:00.
508
00:21:18,952 --> 00:21:21,153
The results will shock him.
509
00:21:21,188 --> 00:21:24,290
Tonight, at 11:00, teens are
having sex younger and younger.
510
00:21:24,324 --> 00:21:25,558
Want to watch?
511
00:21:25,592 --> 00:21:30,411
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com