1
00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:06,138
I know it's weird to sit
in Santa's lap at our age,
2
00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:07,873
but we got to do
what it takes.
3
00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:09,541
Why are you walking
so fast?
4
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:11,377
I'm trying to keep up
with the new kid.
5
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,880
That dork?
Oh, great idea.
6
00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:17,383
Let's hang around him
and lower our status even more.
7
00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:19,385
Right at the height
of bullying season.
8
00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:23,889
Don't you get it, Steve?
This kid's such a loser,
9
00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:26,058
if we stay
within 20 feet of him,
10
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:28,160
bullies will never
even see us.
11
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:30,162
A cloaking device
for dorks?
12
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,398
That's so crazy,
it might work.
13
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,033
Smith and snot!
14
00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:35,701
The two biggest losers
in the whole --
15
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,736
who is that?
16
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,838
He's beautiful.
17
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,474
Glasses, weak chin,
bad posture.
18
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:44,843
Oh, sweet scoliosis.
19
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:46,478
He's mine.
20
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,714
Oh, my God, snot!
It worked!
21
00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:50,082
Hey, new kid!
22
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:53,218
I don't know your name,
but I don't need to.
23
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:55,387
It's Martin.
I told you not
to tell me!
24
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,856
Your new name
is fist catch.
25
00:00:57,858 --> 00:01:01,527
No! You're supposed to catch it
with your face!
26
00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:03,495
Sorry.
My face is busy
27
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,764
watching your face
gets its ass kicked!
28
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:08,434
Wah!
29
00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:10,035
Whoa.
30
00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:11,837
Finish him.
31
00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:13,405
Whoa.
32
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,373
What?
33
00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:21,280
Brutality.
34
00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:23,115
You should go into radio.
35
00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:25,684
Naw, man.
I want to be a do-cent.
36
00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:28,187
At a museum.
A fancy museum.
37
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:31,090
Get real into art.
38
00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:36,762
# good morning, U.S.A. #
39
00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:40,432
# I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day #
40
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:43,368
# the sun in the sky
has a smile on his face #
41
00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:47,172
# and he's shinin' a salute
to the American race #
42
00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:52,911
# oh, boy, it's swell to say #
43
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:55,280
# good -- #
# good morning, U.S.A. #
44
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:56,448
aah!
45
00:01:57,617 --> 00:02:01,086
# good morning, U.S.A. #
46
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:04,823
whoa.
47
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,258
Mertz is the toughest kid
in school.
48
00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:07,593
H-how did you do that?
49
00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:09,962
Easy. I take karate.
50
00:02:09,964 --> 00:02:11,396
Karate is the coolest.
51
00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:12,798
I'm always saying that.
52
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,399
No, Steve.
53
00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:16,568
I believe you said
glitter pens were the coolest.
54
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:19,404
Not anymore, snot!
Karate is the coolest now.
55
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:20,906
Yeah, it is cool.
56
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:23,175
You guys should come take class
at my dojo.
57
00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:25,477
The only drawback is
beating kids up
58
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,080
keeps getting me
kicked out of school.
59
00:02:28,082 --> 00:02:31,350
I'm 17 and I can't read
a alphabet.
60
00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:34,319
But I know which one
the moon is.
61
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,255
You thinking
what I'm thinking, snot?
62
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:39,024
We visit him in juvenile hall
every month until he gets out
63
00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:40,692
and then we all move in
together?
64
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,995
No! We take karate
at his dojo!
65
00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:46,165
Which we can use to break
Martin out of juvie!
66
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,699
Brilliant!
No, snot.
67
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:50,636
I kind of just thought
we'd do this new thing.
68
00:02:50,638 --> 00:02:52,804
Forget Martin.
69
00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:55,440
Did I like Martin
more than you did?!
70
00:02:57,878 --> 00:03:00,512
Punch! Punch! Ai-ya!
71
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:01,480
Ai-ya!
72
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:02,548
Harder!
Ai-ya!
73
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:03,715
Angrier!
Ai-ya!
74
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,450
Destroy your opponent!
Ai-ya!
75
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,622
I'm sensei tom.
Welcome to dojo biden.
76
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:12,057
You must be
snot and Steve.
77
00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:13,559
Oh, my God.
He's telepathic!
78
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:15,394
No. Martin used
his one call from juvie
79
00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:17,029
to let me know
you'd be coming.
80
00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:18,397
He has a weird
family situation.
81
00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:20,165
I'd adopt him,
but the state won't let me
82
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:21,533
because I've never looked
into it
83
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,001
and I can't be bothered.
84
00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:29,141
Listen, students.
85
00:03:29,143 --> 00:03:31,243
At dojo biden,
we care about two things --
86
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:34,713
the centuries-old
art of karate...
87
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,683
And current two-term
vice president Joe biden.
88
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:42,154
Let's see what you two
are capable of.
89
00:03:42,156 --> 00:03:44,056
You! Glasses!
Throw a punch.
90
00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,324
Ai-ya-a-a...
91
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:47,392
So, capable of nothing.
92
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,594
Okay, you.
93
00:03:49,495 --> 00:03:50,729
That was pathetic!
94
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,097
You're never gonna
learn to fight
95
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:54,166
unless you tap
into the anger inside you.
96
00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:56,335
What makes you angry?
97
00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:58,203
I don't know.
Everyone has anger.
98
00:03:58,205 --> 00:03:59,905
Erik over there
has rich parents
99
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,873
and feels guilty
about being white.
100
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:03,842
Marcia over there
gets her anger
101
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,244
from her varicose veins.
102
00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:07,546
She's only 14,
and those never go away!
103
00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:10,582
So, I'll ask you again.
What makes you angry, son?
104
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,417
Don't call me "son"!
105
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,219
There it is.
106
00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:16,188
You don't like
when I call you "son."
107
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:17,756
Dead dad, huh?
108
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:18,757
Yes!
109
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,059
Then use that and punch.
110
00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,694
Unh!
Better!
111
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,796
And you must hate that
weak excuse for a mustache.
112
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,231
Ai-ya!
113
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:27,899
And I bet you're poor.
114
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,601
Lucky.
115
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:30,702
Show me how angry
you are.
116
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:31,870
Punch this board!
117
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:34,206
Aiiii-ya!
118
00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:35,607
I can definitely work
with you.
119
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,209
But you're gonna have to
replace this board.
120
00:04:37,211 --> 00:04:38,877
It's my seasoning shelf.
121
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:41,413
Now, my spices are
on my nunchuk rack.
122
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:43,715
I don't even know
where my nunchuks are.
123
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:46,718
Let's just say I'm not ready
to have guests.
124
00:04:50,823 --> 00:04:52,758
Ooh! Yahtzee!
On my first turn!
125
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,026
Here, you go.
126
00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:57,562
And now we wait.
127
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:02,434
See, Francine, this is why
I can't go piņata shopping.
128
00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:04,403
I just want
to rescue them all.
129
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:05,604
Wait. What's that smell?
130
00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:07,072
It smells terrible.
131
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,741
Oh, hayley, are you back
to homeopathic deodorant?
132
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:10,942
It's not me.
133
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:12,511
I haven't broken a sweat
in a year.
134
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:15,113
What do you think it is?
135
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:17,649
Oh, I can't wait
to find out what it is.
136
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,785
It's a mystery.
Did you find it?
137
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:22,487
Oh, it's me, isn't it?
138
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:25,190
Klaus, you're
an outside fish now.
139
00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:27,759
Not cool, bro!
I'm a fish!
140
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:30,295
Sometimes I smell fishy!
141
00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:31,630
Ooh! Yahtzee!
142
00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:34,199
Uhp, nope.
Read it wrong.
143
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:35,867
This is nothing.
144
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,172
I feel badass.
145
00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:41,707
Yeah, this feels
more serious now
146
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:43,308
that we're wearing
these bathrobes.
147
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,143
Enough chitchat.
148
00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:47,112
Now make like a woman whose
neighbor has a pet chimpanzee
149
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:47,946
and face off!
150
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:50,115
Ai-ya!
151
00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:52,217
Um, Mr. sensei tom,
are you sure
152
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,186
you want us
fighting this soon?
153
00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:55,821
W-we haven't been taught
any moves yet.
154
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:58,290
Punch!
Aah!
155
00:05:58,292 --> 00:06:00,158
My shoulder!
Why did you do that?!
156
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,793
Steve, I'm so sorry.
157
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,128
Don't apologize.
158
00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:05,163
Your dad didn't apologize
for dying.
159
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:08,500
Your jacket didn't apologize
for not having sleeves.
160
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:09,568
Use your anger!
161
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,636
Attack! Attack!
Ai-ya!
162
00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:14,239
Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
163
00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:16,641
Ai-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya!
164
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:17,876
Aah! Aah! Aaaaaaah!
165
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,350
Aaaaaaaaaah!
166
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:26,918
Whoa.
167
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,153
Congratulations.
168
00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:29,888
You've unlocked your anger.
169
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,089
You're one of us now.
170
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:33,592
In the words
of vice president Joe biden,
171
00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:36,928
"you do not have permission
to use my name on your dojo."
172
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:40,832
Sleeveless! Sleeveless!
173
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:43,068
Sleeveless! Sleeveless!
174
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,537
Aaaaaaaaaah!
175
00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:51,009
Aaaaaaaaaah!
176
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,617
Things got pretty crazy
yesterday, huh?
177
00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:00,185
I-I just had to jog home
178
00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:02,220
'cause I was so pumped up
from all the karate.
179
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:03,555
Sure.
180
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:06,725
Also, I'm kind of thinking
karate's not for us.
181
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,126
Let's just go back
182
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,128
to the Steve and snot
we know and love --
183
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,530
cowering from bullies,
184
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:14,065
wearing shoes in places
where they serve food.
185
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:15,734
Snot, w-where you going?
186
00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:18,437
Oh, I'm gonna go sit
with my karate friends.
187
00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:19,738
They get me.
188
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,873
And they don't put up
with bullies.
189
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,275
Plus they like it
190
00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:25,444
when I lose control
of my bottled-up anger.
191
00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:27,712
I thought we agreed
karate's not for us!
192
00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:29,548
You agreed with you,
Steve.
193
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,716
You agreed.
194
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:34,252
Yo, sleeveless, what's up?
195
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,755
Whoa. That guy
accidentally bumped you.
196
00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:37,956
You gonna let him
197
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,090
accidentally get away
with that?
198
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,792
Unleash
your anger.
199
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:43,929
Let him go, Steve.
200
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:46,832
Snot's in
an action movie now.
201
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:49,067
Hour 36.
202
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:52,103
The sun seems like
it comes every day now.
203
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,040
The cat's back!
204
00:07:58,277 --> 00:08:00,912
What's the matter?
Kitty can't swim?
205
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:03,448
Welcome to the water
jungle, baby.
206
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:07,352
You can never get to me.
No one can get to me!
207
00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:11,623
No, no!
It never ends!
208
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:14,593
Okay. I'm starting
to get the hang of this.
209
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:17,596
I just have to stay one step
ahead of them.
210
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:18,897
Oh, no!
211
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,336
They're teaming up.
212
00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:26,605
A lizard!
213
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:28,740
Wait.
Do lizards eat fish?
214
00:08:29,942 --> 00:08:33,445
He just wants to try it!
See if he likes it!
215
00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:39,518
This bathroom pass
is fake.
216
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,654
Yeah. I'm still gonna go
to the bathroom.
217
00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:46,024
Well, go to class
after that.
218
00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:50,462
Snot, what are you
doing here?
219
00:08:50,464 --> 00:08:52,964
This seat's for bad boys.
We're good boys.
220
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:55,033
I got caught fighting
twice today.
221
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,968
Snot, w-where is this
coming from?
222
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:59,004
I feel like sensei tom
is turning you
223
00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:01,406
into something you're not --
an angry person.
224
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,742
You walk around
looking like Tommy Lee Jones
225
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:04,709
all the time now.
226
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,011
I've always been angry.
227
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:07,712
Sensei tom
understands that,
228
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,581
and he's teaching me
to use it.
229
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:12,083
Lonstein,
you can't come in the office
230
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,553
because Marissa Stevens' mom
is here.
231
00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:16,187
So listen, we have
a three-strike policy
232
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:17,689
on fighting.
233
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:20,559
You've got two.
One more and you're expelled.
234
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,861
Feel me?
Now, if you'll excuse me,
235
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:26,097
I have to go ensure that
Marissa Stevens gets an "a"
236
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:27,766
by giving her mom a "d."
237
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,405
Ai-ya!
238
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:37,576
Uh, is it a bad time
to talk about snot?
239
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:39,744
His warrior name
is sleeveless.
240
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,179
Okay, well, sleeveless
241
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:42,747
is getting in a lot
of trouble at school,
242
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,849
and for some reason,
he listens to you.
243
00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:46,251
So, uh,
maybe you could tell him
244
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,786
that everything
you're teaching him
245
00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:49,554
is wrong and horrible
before he gets kicked out.
246
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:51,256
School's not for everyone.
247
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,692
You know who said that?
Joe biden.
248
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:55,260
I don't think he said that.
249
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,695
He has said those words.
250
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:59,297
Maybe not in that order,
but he has said them.
251
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,433
Now, let me tell you a story
about a young kid
252
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:03,935
who was angry at the world
and got kicked out of school.
253
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,937
It was me.
254
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,472
And now look where I am.
255
00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:11,242
I lease a dojo.
I sleep in a dojo.
256
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:13,411
I do my cooking and laundry
in a dojo.
257
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,814
And none of that would
have been possible --
258
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,415
wonderful. All right.
259
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:19,284
I'm gonna speak a language
everyone understands.
260
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:23,088
This is $12, which I have
a feeling you could use.
261
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:26,057
The money is yours
if you let snot go.
262
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:29,961
Look, I'm not gonna lie.
I could use this $12.
263
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,831
Settle down with
a nice ham sandwich.
264
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,599
But you can't put a price
on anger.
265
00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:36,267
And that's
what sleeveless has.
266
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:37,969
If you want
your friend back,
267
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,438
beat him in the upcoming
karate tournament.
268
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,440
If I beat him, he's free?
269
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:45,143
Is that some sort
of ancient karate code?
270
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,679
No. If you beat him,
he'll be a loser,
271
00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:49,180
and I don't work
with losers.
272
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:53,018
Now, what else can I do
to earn that $12?
273
00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:57,122
Hey, dad.
274
00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:59,424
I know you took martial arts
in your c.I.A. Training,
275
00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:01,426
and I was wondering
if you could teach me some.
276
00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:03,028
I have to beat snot
in a karate tournament
277
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:04,629
so I can save
our friendship.
278
00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:08,667
There is only one thing
you need to know about karate.
279
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:11,102
Guns beat karate
every time.
280
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:15,106
Good rap sesh, son.
281
00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:22,781
I hear you're seeking
martial arts instruction.
282
00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:24,949
Perhaps I can show you
the way.
283
00:11:24,951 --> 00:11:26,518
Shouldn't you have
an accent?
284
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,720
Uh, I moved here
when I was 2.
285
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,855
Lesson one --
open your mind.
286
00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:33,291
Heads up, Francine.
287
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:35,694
I ignored our talk
and gave Steve a gun.
288
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:39,798
Delivery for...The smiths?
289
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,232
Well, I didn't order
anything.
290
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:43,001
Maybe it's something
Francine ordered.
291
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:45,070
Or hayley.
Or Steve or Roger.
292
00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:46,337
There are a lot of people
with that last name
293
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:47,505
in this house.
294
00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:49,307
Also could be a gift
from someone.
295
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,643
Maybe bullock or one
of Francine's friends.
296
00:11:51,645 --> 00:11:53,078
Or a friend of hayley's.
297
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,313
Yep, the smiths have
a lot of friends.
298
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:56,748
Fun tidbit --
did you know
299
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,583
that dupont is like
the French Smith?
300
00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:00,085
Hey, French Smith!
Remember him?
301
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:01,352
Do you mean
French Stewart?
302
00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:02,654
Sure, whatever.
I'll sign.
303
00:12:06,025 --> 00:12:07,726
It's working.
304
00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:09,327
Well, I'll just
leave this here.
305
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:11,229
You've done it, Klaus.
306
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:14,232
You're once again
an inside fish.
307
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,333
Ha ha!
308
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:16,935
Outside fish, Klaus.
309
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:20,038
No! No, please!
The cats and the birds!
310
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:35,286
Sensei tom is teaching snot
to fight with anger,
311
00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:37,122
so I need help
harnessing mine.
312
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:38,923
Sensei tom.
313
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,292
Did you know he lives
in his dojo?
314
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,762
Well, you technically
live in yours.
315
00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:46,364
Lesson two -- don't worry
about where I live.
316
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,299
You're not an angry boy,
Steve,
317
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,968
so there's nothing
to harness.
318
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,436
But that's okay,
319
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:53,304
because people who fight
with anger are sloppy.
320
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:57,041
You're gonna fight with cold,
calculating technique.
321
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:05,550
# living with my eyes closed #
322
00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:08,586
# going day to day #
323
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:11,589
# I never knew the difference #
324
00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:15,493
# I never cared either way #
325
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:18,329
# looking for a reason #
326
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:21,566
# searching for a sign #
327
00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:23,802
# reaching out with both hands #
328
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:27,238
you're ready.
Now make me four more.
329
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,274
But the tournament is
in 20 minutes.
330
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:32,076
Don't worry about time.
Let me worry about time.
331
00:13:32,078 --> 00:13:34,579
- Shit! Shit! Damn it!
- We're so late!
332
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:38,917
Roger, I'm nervous.
333
00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:41,119
Don't worry. You've trained.
You've prepared.
334
00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:42,787
Nothing can stop you,
unless...
335
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:45,590
Oh, no.
Oh, God, no!
What?!
336
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,025
That guy has a better goatee
than me!
337
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:48,493
Excuse me.
338
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:49,594
Steve, what are you
doing here?
339
00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:51,362
I thought
you quit karate.
340
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:54,032
No. I'm gonna kick your ass
so we can be friends again.
341
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:56,868
It doesn't sound like a good
plan when I say it out loud,
342
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:58,002
but trust me,
I thought it through.
343
00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:00,638
Okay,
goatee disaster averted.
344
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,340
See you in the finals.
345
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,876
No. I'll see you
in the finals.
346
00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:08,112
Now announcing
the first round draw,
347
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:11,049
Steve Smith
versus snot lonstein.
348
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:14,986
So, I guess I'll see you
in the first round.
349
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:17,889
The all-important first round
it is.
350
00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:20,325
Sleeveless! It's time.
351
00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:23,795
Well, well.
Sensei tom.
352
00:14:23,797 --> 00:14:26,197
Sensei Ryan?
I thought you were dead.
353
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,866
You wish I was dead!
354
00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:29,834
'Cause then
you wouldn't owe me $15
355
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:31,169
from our last cable bill!
356
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:33,238
I told you that
I wouldn't pay for hbo!
357
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,372
I don't watch it!
358
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,074
I said that
the day we moved in!
359
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:37,709
You do watch it,
and I know
360
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:39,744
you're still using
my hbo go password.
361
00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:41,880
"Water for elephants" was
on my "recently watched,"
362
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:43,514
and I didn't watch it.
363
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:45,917
I saw it in the theater
like it's supposed to be seen!
364
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:54,325
Now, welcome
to the fifth annual
365
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:56,995
Langley falls
karate tournament.
366
00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,563
And guess what?
367
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:01,699
We're only starting 20 minutes
behind schedule!
368
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:04,235
Steve, if you get in trouble
out there, kiss him.
369
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,904
It'll throw him
off his game.
370
00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:07,739
And if things
get really hairy,
371
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:10,174
just give him a tap
on the ol' starfish.
372
00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:11,743
I don't know
what that means.
373
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,578
He'll like it.
Now get out there!
374
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:17,715
Prepare to go down.
375
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:19,050
Wow.
I really feel your anger.
376
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:21,019
It'll be easy to counter
377
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,587
with my cold,
calculating precision.
378
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,289
My sensei made me a master
379
00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:26,858
using a variety
of unorthodox methods.
380
00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:29,894
I warn you, snot.
I've been brushing wigs.
381
00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:31,195
Fight!
382
00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:32,730
Brush, brush.
383
00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:34,132
Ai-ya!
Aah!
384
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:35,133
Destroy him!
385
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:37,268
Ai-ya!
386
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,369
Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-
ya-ya-ya-ya!
387
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:39,737
Ow! Ow!
388
00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:41,873
Aah! Oh! Oh!
389
00:15:41,875 --> 00:15:43,875
Sensei, what do I do?!
390
00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:46,010
Starfish!
Oh!
391
00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,180
This kid's
obviously better.
392
00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:54,986
Hey, sensei Ryan,
nice disciple.
393
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:56,554
Shut up!
He came to me.
394
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:58,056
I didn't choose him.
395
00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:00,258
But you chose to see
"water for elephants"
396
00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:01,426
on a small screen.
397
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:02,894
You're still the tool here.
398
00:16:02,896 --> 00:16:06,798
I'm sorry, sensei.
I failed you.
399
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,333
No, Steve.
It's my fault.
400
00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:10,068
Instead
of teaching you karate,
401
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:12,737
I had you make me a Martini
and give me a massage.
402
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:14,772
Roger, I thought those
were all skills
403
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:16,074
that translate to karate.
404
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:17,842
Really?! You did?!
405
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:21,112
Steve, you make
these wild leaps.
406
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:23,414
Now, leaps -- now, that would
have been great for karate.
407
00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:27,852
You know what's weird?
408
00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:31,155
Even though Klaus has been gone
for a while, I still smell him.
409
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,323
I smell it, too.
410
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,995
Yes. Yes.
411
00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:40,665
Smell it.
Smell all of me.
412
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:41,866
It's getting stronger!
413
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:48,840
Congratulations.
414
00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:52,377
You're outside people now.
415
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,553
There are an awful lot of cats
back here.
416
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:04,956
And -- and birds.
417
00:17:04,958 --> 00:17:06,524
I-I was getting to you.
418
00:17:08,727 --> 00:17:13,164
Don't worry, guys.
I'll be fine.
419
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:14,232
Meow.
420
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,669
I saved a seat for snot.
421
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:22,373
You can release it
to the general population.
422
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,708
We've lost him.
423
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,076
I've lost him.
Whoa!
424
00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:27,245
Snot's about to beat
somebody up in the quad!
425
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:29,547
By the bike racks!
In the northwest corner!
426
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:32,183
Right by the bike that belonged
to that kid who died
427
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:34,419
and now serves as a grim
reminder of his passing!
428
00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:35,820
Some say if you feel
a cool breeze,
429
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:37,355
it's him whistling,
but it's not true!
430
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:39,157
When your body dies,
your soul dies with it!
431
00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:41,659
Anyway, if you hit the library,
you've gone too far!
432
00:17:44,363 --> 00:17:46,164
Oh, no.
If he gets in one more fight,
433
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:48,032
he's gonna get kicked
out of school!
434
00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:51,202
Which means it's our last chance
to see him in action!
435
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:54,138
No, it means we have
to stop him! Let's go!
436
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,240
Finish it.
437
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:57,241
What?
438
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,077
Finish it!
439
00:18:00,612 --> 00:18:04,315
It's weird that you care
about this.
440
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,021
Snot, wait!
You can't do this!
441
00:18:10,023 --> 00:18:12,356
You're gonna get kicked
out of school!
442
00:18:12,358 --> 00:18:14,559
Sensei tom says
I don't need school.
443
00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:15,927
Sensei tom's a loser.
444
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:17,562
He lives above his dojo
445
00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:20,565
and steals his wi-Fi
from the h&r block next door.
446
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:23,234
Look, I tried to save you
by fighting you,
447
00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:24,769
but I'm not a fighter.
448
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,705
So I'm gonna save you
with love, not anger.
449
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:28,873
Eh!
450
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,408
Steve,
what are you doing?!
451
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:32,643
I'm showing you
I love you, snot!
452
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,378
And you have two strikes!
453
00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:36,747
I'm taking this strike
for you!
454
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:37,982
Ah! Ow!
455
00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:40,885
But you're not
a bad boy, Steve!
456
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:43,121
Neither are you!
457
00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:46,257
This all started 'cause
you didn't want to be bullied,
458
00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:47,725
and now you're doing it!
459
00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:49,927
Sure, you've got a lot
to be angry about,
460
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:52,330
b-but you've also got
a lot to be happy about.
461
00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:53,998
Ooh!
462
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,433
Like your friends
that care about you.
463
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:57,802
Aah! Ow!
464
00:18:57,804 --> 00:19:01,539
Remember when you and I had
lunch together that one time?
465
00:19:04,276 --> 00:19:07,979
Please let me know as soon
as I've gotten through to you.
466
00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:09,480
Because I've reached a point
467
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,516
where even the NFL
wouldn't clear me to play.
468
00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:13,284
"American dad!" Stands with
469
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:16,621
the national football league
players association.
470
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,456
Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight!
471
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,491
I mean,
break it up, kids.
472
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:24,195
Steve, that's strike one,
and you don't get a second.
473
00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:25,696
No, wait.
You get three.
474
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:28,466
You hear that, everybody?
You get two free fights!
475
00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:29,834
I expect you to use them!
476
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,769
Thanks, Steve.
477
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:35,973
Your love made me realize
that anger isn't all I am.
478
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:38,309
And instead
of using my anger to fight,
479
00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:40,711
I should bottle it up
and only let it out
480
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:42,647
when I can
no longer control it.
481
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:47,952
Maybe in, like, 20 years,
quietly, victim by victim.
482
00:19:49,621 --> 00:19:53,391
You're gonna be in therapy
for a long time, buddy.
483
00:19:57,996 --> 00:20:00,565
Stan, you're never
getting back in!
484
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:03,701
I've got a delivery
for Klaus heissler.
485
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,803
Ooh. Hello.
486
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:08,072
I wonder what it is.
487
00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:09,407
Oh, it's big.
488
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:10,908
It's so big!
489
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,543
And it's all for me!
490
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:15,813
Uh, what could it be?
Maybe a giant aquarium?
491
00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:18,883
Maybe it's a lifetime supply
of fish food.
492
00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:21,852
Or maybe it's Stan,
Francine, and hayley.
493
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:23,588
All right, guys.
494
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,923
Truce.
Welcome home.
495
00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:39,036
He's opening it.
It's working!
496
00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:42,907
Oh, no!
Not the kitties and the birdies!
497
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,342
Aaah!
No! No, no, no!
498
00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:46,377
Oh! Aah! Ouch!
499
00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:47,912
Once they've taken care
of Klaus,
500
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,747
the house
will be ours again.
501
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:51,282
No! Aah!
502
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:56,854
I killed them.
I killed them all!
503
00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:58,889
Do you hear that, Stan?!
504
00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:02,360
Ha! Nice try!
505
00:21:02,362 --> 00:21:04,462
Bye! Have a beautiful time!