1 00:00:23,964 --> 00:00:26,899 Tyler Wiley, you like me, right? 2 00:00:26,933 --> 00:00:30,402 It doesn't matter. Just listen to your body, girl. 3 00:00:30,437 --> 00:00:35,574 Yes, listen to your body, Becky. We can all hear it. 4 00:00:44,584 --> 00:00:47,686 Sir, there's a meteor headed straight for Langley Falls! 5 00:00:47,721 --> 00:00:50,456 Take it easy, Joeson. It's probably nothing. 6 00:00:50,490 --> 00:00:52,725 Also, we're running low on dot matrix ink, 7 00:00:52,759 --> 00:00:57,070 - and no one sells it anymore. - Noooo! 8 00:01:00,567 --> 00:01:03,636 Daddy, please don't leave. 9 00:01:03,670 --> 00:01:06,939 Son, I'm just going to the store to get some cigarettes. 10 00:01:21,621 --> 00:01:25,257 No. Your son needs you. End the cycle. 11 00:01:47,814 --> 00:01:49,715 Well, this is strange. 12 00:01:49,749 --> 00:01:54,053 This is the nighttime, a time we don't normally receive visitors. 13 00:01:54,087 --> 00:01:56,488 Hey, Mr. S. I'm home. 14 00:01:56,523 --> 00:01:58,324 Jeff's back. 15 00:01:58,358 --> 00:02:00,826 Francine, honey, can you bring me my gun? 16 00:02:00,861 --> 00:02:03,462 - Jeff, don't go anywhere. - Okay. 17 00:02:05,966 --> 00:02:08,701 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 18 00:02:08,735 --> 00:02:12,571 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 19 00:02:12,606 --> 00:02:15,708 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 20 00:02:15,742 --> 00:02:19,979 ♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪ 21 00:02:21,915 --> 00:02:25,317 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 22 00:02:25,352 --> 00:02:28,787 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 23 00:02:29,990 --> 00:02:33,259 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 24 00:02:33,493 --> 00:02:36,195 Hey, mister. How was space? 25 00:02:36,229 --> 00:02:39,765 - Vast. - Hayley, your husband's back. 26 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:43,703 Oh, she's gonna be so excited. Oh, here's your gun, honey. 27 00:02:43,737 --> 00:02:46,739 Jeff! You're finally home! 28 00:02:48,542 --> 00:02:50,443 Oh, I missed you so much! 29 00:02:50,477 --> 00:02:52,511 Oh, your hat stinks so good. 30 00:02:52,546 --> 00:02:55,581 Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah. 31 00:02:55,615 --> 00:02:58,150 Hayley, cover your ears. Daddy's gonna make a bang. 32 00:02:58,185 --> 00:03:00,419 - Dad, what are you doing? - I'm sorry, Hayley. 33 00:03:00,454 --> 00:03:02,221 I know you're excited Jeff's back. 34 00:03:02,255 --> 00:03:04,123 But he knows that Roger's an alien, 35 00:03:04,157 --> 00:03:06,492 and he can't stop himself from telling everyone. 36 00:03:06,526 --> 00:03:08,427 So he has to die. Mom, do something. 37 00:03:08,462 --> 00:03:11,630 - You know how your father gets. - Before you kill me, mr. S., 38 00:03:11,665 --> 00:03:13,466 I want you to know that I've changed. 39 00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:16,168 In space, all you have is time to think about 40 00:03:16,203 --> 00:03:18,370 what you'd do different in your life. 41 00:03:18,405 --> 00:03:20,539 That and what you would call the offspring 42 00:03:20,574 --> 00:03:23,509 - of a labradoodle and a cheagle. - Chalabradeagle. Easy. 43 00:03:23,543 --> 00:03:25,578 I won't say anything. I promise. 44 00:03:25,612 --> 00:03:27,179 Dad, you have to give him a chance. 45 00:03:27,214 --> 00:03:30,816 Oh, Mr. S. I got you something while I was in space. 46 00:03:30,851 --> 00:03:34,920 You can open it now or after you kill me. 47 00:03:34,955 --> 00:03:37,790 - It reminded me of you. - Ha! You don't know me. 48 00:03:37,824 --> 00:03:41,260 It's a souvenir from the Haverglack galaxy. 49 00:03:41,294 --> 00:03:44,764 It's like a clock, except it makes fart noises. 50 00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:48,467 This is amazing! 51 00:03:48,502 --> 00:03:50,770 I'm gonna set an alarm for tomorrow morning! 52 00:03:52,939 --> 00:03:55,708 Ha ha! That last one was me! 53 00:03:55,742 --> 00:03:56,976 'Sup? 54 00:04:00,247 --> 00:04:02,414 I know that guy. 55 00:04:02,449 --> 00:04:04,850 Is that the guy who works at Panera Bread? 56 00:04:04,885 --> 00:04:06,786 No, no. That guy died. 57 00:04:06,820 --> 00:04:08,788 Oh, wait. That's Jeff! 58 00:04:08,822 --> 00:04:12,658 I sent him into space. I wonder if he remembers that. 59 00:04:12,692 --> 00:04:14,894 God, I could go for a panera. 60 00:04:14,928 --> 00:04:19,632 Oh, "Kate & Leopold." Hi, Jeff. 61 00:04:24,363 --> 00:04:27,172 I still can't belive you're back. 62 00:04:27,173 --> 00:04:30,775 I feel like when you left, my whole life got put on pause. 63 00:04:30,810 --> 00:04:32,844 A-And now I get to un-pause it. 64 00:04:32,878 --> 00:04:35,146 And I'd like to start by smoking a bowl 65 00:04:35,181 --> 00:04:38,016 and un-pausing "Transformers: Dark of the Moon," 66 00:04:38,050 --> 00:04:40,084 the movie we paused right before you left 67 00:04:40,119 --> 00:04:41,886 and our lives were put on pause. 68 00:04:43,469 --> 00:04:45,670 I'd love to catch up with Bumblebee and the gang, 69 00:04:45,705 --> 00:04:47,572 but I don't smoke anymore. 70 00:04:47,607 --> 00:04:49,708 What? Wait, I'm sorry. Huh? 71 00:04:49,742 --> 00:04:52,444 Look, Hayley. I meant what I told your family. 72 00:04:52,478 --> 00:04:55,447 - I wanna be a better man. - But pot's basically legal. 73 00:04:55,481 --> 00:04:58,883 Prop 87 said cops have to be super-chill about it now. 74 00:04:58,918 --> 00:05:02,087 Ooh, I know. How about a little mood music? 75 00:05:03,823 --> 00:05:08,827 - Oh, god. What is this? - It's your favorite jam band ... Fish. 76 00:05:08,861 --> 00:05:12,330 I-I can't make out to this. There's no song structure. 77 00:05:12,365 --> 00:05:15,934 The drummer's just waiting for the guitarist to do something. 78 00:05:15,968 --> 00:05:18,470 Okay. How about this song, then? 79 00:05:20,673 --> 00:05:22,674 Are we gonna [bleep] or what? 80 00:05:24,143 --> 00:05:27,145 Snot let me borrow his hamster while he's at Jewish camp. 81 00:05:27,179 --> 00:05:29,481 I'm so excited to take care of him. 82 00:05:29,515 --> 00:05:31,650 For the hamster's sake, I hope you do a better job 83 00:05:31,684 --> 00:05:33,785 of taking care of him than you do of me. 84 00:05:33,819 --> 00:05:37,656 - You're not my pet, Klaus. - Well, why not, Steve?! Why not?! 85 00:05:37,690 --> 00:05:40,458 Klaus wants a teenage boy to take care of him? 86 00:05:40,493 --> 00:05:42,927 I guess you can take the brain out of a German, 87 00:05:42,962 --> 00:05:45,563 but you can't take the German out of a brain. 88 00:05:46,799 --> 00:05:48,667 Ooh, Jeff. Burning Klaus. 89 00:05:48,701 --> 00:05:51,036 I hope you like your fish blackened. 90 00:05:51,070 --> 00:05:53,571 I told you space changed me. It opened my eyes. 91 00:05:53,606 --> 00:05:55,707 And one of the things I realized up there 92 00:05:55,741 --> 00:05:57,642 was what a great role model you are. 93 00:05:57,677 --> 00:05:59,144 - Me? - Him? 94 00:05:59,178 --> 00:06:01,379 You have a job, you provide for your family, 95 00:06:01,414 --> 00:06:03,148 you're a productive member of society. 96 00:06:03,182 --> 00:06:05,150 Wow. You really know your stuff. 97 00:06:05,184 --> 00:06:07,686 I was hoping you could help me learn to be a real man, 98 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:10,689 - Mr. S., like you. - Jeff, can I just say 99 00:06:10,690 --> 00:06:12,390 I am loving the new you. 100 00:06:12,425 --> 00:06:15,694 And I would love to take the new you to the new Fro-Yo place 101 00:06:15,728 --> 00:06:18,063 that opened right after Roger threw you into space. 102 00:06:18,097 --> 00:06:20,165 Look at that. I made Jeff better. 103 00:06:20,199 --> 00:06:23,668 I guess that's just what Roger does, makes things better. 104 00:06:23,703 --> 00:06:26,471 This is mine. I brought this. 105 00:06:26,505 --> 00:06:28,873 Dad, can I go with you? I love that place. 106 00:06:28,908 --> 00:06:31,543 Sorry, Steve. Three people make for a weird dynamic. 107 00:06:31,577 --> 00:06:33,478 Two people always turn against one. 108 00:06:33,512 --> 00:06:35,180 - But, dad ... - You'd be the one, Steve. 109 00:06:35,214 --> 00:06:38,917 - Look, it's already happening. Jeff? - I'd love to go. 110 00:06:38,951 --> 00:06:43,149 I just have to go upstairs to, um, take care of something. 111 00:06:43,489 --> 00:06:45,957 Does Jeff seem a little weird to you guys since he got back? 112 00:06:45,991 --> 00:06:47,892 Like, a little different? 113 00:06:47,927 --> 00:06:50,195 - Hell yeah! He's better. - Way better. 114 00:06:50,229 --> 00:06:52,997 If I were you, Hayley, I'd lock that down. 115 00:06:53,032 --> 00:06:56,801 - Mom, we're already married. - I mean lock it down for real. 116 00:06:56,836 --> 00:07:01,606 Rings catch girls. Babies trap boys. 117 00:07:05,478 --> 00:07:06,978 Zebleer to mother ship. 118 00:07:07,012 --> 00:07:10,582 Greetings, Zebleer. Please update mission status. 119 00:07:10,616 --> 00:07:13,651 The mission continues as planned, brother. 120 00:07:13,686 --> 00:07:16,621 The simpleminded earthlings suspect nothing. 121 00:07:16,655 --> 00:07:19,491 Good. Have you found an acceptable specimen? 122 00:07:19,525 --> 00:07:21,693 Yes, an alpha male with a job ... 123 00:07:21,727 --> 00:07:25,864 the exact opposite of our first earthling. I will earn his trust 124 00:07:25,898 --> 00:07:27,732 and then transport him to the mother ship. 125 00:07:27,767 --> 00:07:30,835 Ever wonder why we don't call it a father ship? 126 00:07:30,870 --> 00:07:32,487 Are you working on material 127 00:07:32,488 --> 00:07:35,540 for that stand-up thing you invited us to? 128 00:07:35,574 --> 00:07:37,175 No. No, no, no, no. 129 00:07:37,209 --> 00:07:42,046 So, Andromedan pod monsters be shopping. 130 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,097 I've initiated contact with the host familly 131 00:07:49,098 --> 00:07:51,733 and have three Earth specimens ready to Blorph. 132 00:07:51,768 --> 00:07:54,002 We are ready for your Blorph. 133 00:07:57,106 --> 00:07:59,341 First item is fork. 134 00:08:01,377 --> 00:08:04,880 Next item is spoon. 135 00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:09,718 And now hamster. 136 00:08:12,021 --> 00:08:13,822 Oh, my god! 137 00:08:13,857 --> 00:08:16,225 How could you send a living animal through the Blorpher... 138 00:08:16,259 --> 00:08:19,328 without warning me he'd be so cute?! 139 00:08:19,362 --> 00:08:22,264 Excellent work, Zebleer. Blorphs received. 140 00:08:22,298 --> 00:08:24,099 End transmission. 141 00:08:24,133 --> 00:08:26,307 "Blorph." We have got to come up 142 00:08:26,342 --> 00:08:28,270 with a different name for the Blorph machine. 143 00:08:28,304 --> 00:08:31,974 - I feel so stupid saying "Blorph." - Well, you'll have to take that up 144 00:08:32,008 --> 00:08:35,077 with the inventor of the Blorph, Dr. Blorph McBlorph-Blorph. 145 00:08:35,111 --> 00:08:36,945 Whoo! 146 00:08:38,147 --> 00:08:40,716 Aw, man. Nice slide! You were going so fast. 147 00:08:40,750 --> 00:08:44,720 - Hey, babe, we'll be back soon. - Okay, but real quick, 148 00:08:44,754 --> 00:08:47,089 why are you so eager to hang out with my dad? 149 00:08:47,123 --> 00:08:48,757 - He's cool. - Face! 150 00:08:48,791 --> 00:08:50,859 Has anyone seen Snot's hamster? 151 00:08:50,894 --> 00:08:53,195 No time to care about your hamster, Steve. 152 00:08:53,229 --> 00:08:56,365 I'm taking Jeff to your favorite Fro-Yo place. 153 00:09:00,303 --> 00:09:03,805 Okay, I know I should be happy that Jeff's back, 154 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:06,074 but something just doesn't feel right. 155 00:09:06,109 --> 00:09:08,143 You mean because he's an alien who altered his appearance 156 00:09:08,177 --> 00:09:09,912 - to look like Jeff? - What?! 157 00:09:09,946 --> 00:09:12,848 Oh, I thought we all knew and we were just going along with it 158 00:09:12,882 --> 00:09:15,217 'cause he's so much better than the actual Jeff. 159 00:09:15,251 --> 00:09:17,085 Did you guys really not know?! 160 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,688 Oh! Oh, that is so great. 161 00:09:19,722 --> 00:09:21,723 You're saying that's not Jeff? 162 00:09:21,758 --> 00:09:24,793 Oh, no. Honey, no. That is definitely not Jeff. 163 00:09:24,827 --> 00:09:27,930 Only question is, what is this alien doing here? 164 00:09:27,964 --> 00:09:30,399 We'll have to investigate. Ooh! Detective time! 165 00:09:30,433 --> 00:09:32,167 Outfit change! 166 00:09:32,201 --> 00:09:34,770 Ooga-booga! Me hate fire! 167 00:09:34,804 --> 00:09:38,240 Open your mind, Hayley. Anyone can be a detective. 168 00:09:41,911 --> 00:09:43,745 Mm-mmm. Wow. 169 00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:47,115 This has got to be the best thing on the planet. 170 00:09:47,150 --> 00:09:50,319 Oh, yeah, it's one of the finer things a man can enjoy in life, 171 00:09:50,353 --> 00:09:52,187 like driving with your knees 172 00:09:52,221 --> 00:09:55,157 or shooting your name into an old metal sign with a handgun. 173 00:09:55,191 --> 00:09:57,693 I never even shot a handgun. 174 00:09:58,350 --> 00:09:59,828 We're changing that. 175 00:09:59,862 --> 00:10:03,765 We're changing that right now. But where? 176 00:10:08,905 --> 00:10:10,772 Okay, let's see how you did. 177 00:10:10,807 --> 00:10:12,708 "Zebleer"? 178 00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:15,077 No, doofus, you were supposed to spell your name. 179 00:10:15,111 --> 00:10:17,913 - Oh, right. My name's Jeff. - No problem, Jeff. 180 00:10:17,947 --> 00:10:19,348 You emptied the clip and hit the sign, 181 00:10:19,382 --> 00:10:21,383 which means your only problem is spelling. 182 00:10:21,417 --> 00:10:24,453 Good thing that's easily fixable with a second gun. 183 00:10:27,924 --> 00:10:30,492 Well, you spelled "Zebleer" again. 184 00:10:33,129 --> 00:10:35,297 Okay, clues... 185 00:10:35,331 --> 00:10:37,866 - Oh! A Blorpher! - What's that? 186 00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:40,268 Works kind of like a fax machine but for solid objects. 187 00:10:40,303 --> 00:10:42,404 Humans would probably have something like this 188 00:10:42,438 --> 00:10:44,539 if they hadn't abandoned facsimile technology. 189 00:10:44,574 --> 00:10:46,908 I still have a fax machine, but it's just so 190 00:10:46,943 --> 00:10:49,311 my commercial agent can send me sides for auditions. 191 00:10:49,345 --> 00:10:52,014 Did I tell you I'm on hold for a Langley Mutual commercial? 192 00:10:52,048 --> 00:10:54,216 Roger! What does all this mean? 193 00:10:54,250 --> 00:10:56,918 It means it's between me and like one other person. 194 00:10:56,953 --> 00:10:59,421 It's probably this guy ... Brad. He books everything. 195 00:10:59,455 --> 00:11:01,289 No, the Blorpher! Jeff! 196 00:11:01,324 --> 00:11:04,126 Oh, it means that the "Jeff" who is with Stan 197 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:07,029 is a species of alien called the Collectors. 198 00:11:07,063 --> 00:11:09,131 They're kind of like space's zookeepers. 199 00:11:09,165 --> 00:11:10,532 Then where's my Jeff? 200 00:11:10,566 --> 00:11:13,271 They probably have a research ship in orbit. He'll be up there. 201 00:11:13,361 --> 00:11:15,270 A-And this machine can get me to him? 202 00:11:15,304 --> 00:11:17,072 Look, if you go up there, 203 00:11:17,106 --> 00:11:19,007 - there's no guarantee you'll come back. - I don't care. 204 00:11:19,042 --> 00:11:21,376 I'd rather die up there, trying to get Jeff, 205 00:11:21,411 --> 00:11:24,806 - than stay down here without him. - Okay. 206 00:11:26,182 --> 00:11:28,183 I think I'm finally starting to understand 207 00:11:28,217 --> 00:11:29,851 what it feels like to be a man. 208 00:11:29,886 --> 00:11:31,987 Thanks again for showing me how to shoot. 209 00:11:32,021 --> 00:11:34,489 Where I come from, we're expected to figure everything 210 00:11:34,490 --> 00:11:36,958 - out on our own. - Where you come from? 211 00:11:36,993 --> 00:11:38,860 Ha, you're from Langley, ya goofball. 212 00:11:38,895 --> 00:11:40,896 Man, you used to confuse the hell out of me 213 00:11:40,930 --> 00:11:42,931 with your stupid jokes I didn't understand. 214 00:11:42,965 --> 00:11:44,983 But since you've come back, you are killing 215 00:11:44,984 --> 00:11:47,002 me with all these jokes I don't understand. 216 00:11:47,036 --> 00:11:49,504 Smith. 217 00:11:49,539 --> 00:11:51,506 Ah, damn. We just went! 218 00:11:51,541 --> 00:11:53,508 Couple of my homeboys from the C.I.A. 219 00:11:53,543 --> 00:11:56,428 - are hitting up the Fro-Yo stand. - What if we went back 220 00:11:56,429 --> 00:11:58,947 and got some more, double dipped? 221 00:11:58,981 --> 00:12:02,017 I don't know what happened to you out there in the 222 00:12:02,018 --> 00:12:05,053 frozen void of space, but you came back a goddamn genius. 223 00:12:07,490 --> 00:12:10,025 Oh, god! Oh, god! It hurts! Oh, god! 224 00:12:10,059 --> 00:12:13,361 Relax. All the pain immediately stops on the other side. 225 00:12:13,396 --> 00:12:15,831 What are you doing? You're coming with me! 226 00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:19,267 No, I'm not. Let go. Hayley! Let go, Hayley! 227 00:12:19,302 --> 00:12:24,573 Yep, this is a deep pain ... a very, very deep pain. 228 00:12:32,515 --> 00:12:35,517 The Blorph alert? This is strange. 229 00:12:35,551 --> 00:12:39,588 This is the nighttime, a time we don't normally receive Blorphs. 230 00:12:43,192 --> 00:12:47,195 Uh, um, mmm. Oh, man. I'm out. 231 00:12:47,230 --> 00:12:49,498 No, you're not. Hold out your cup. 232 00:12:52,335 --> 00:12:54,136 Fro-Yo bros! 233 00:12:54,170 --> 00:12:56,271 You would all share your bounty with me? 234 00:12:56,305 --> 00:12:59,141 All we're doing is sacrificing a little frozen yogurt 235 00:12:59,175 --> 00:13:01,463 - for our new best friend. - Wow. 236 00:13:01,498 --> 00:13:04,479 Mankind has a surprising proclivity for sacrifice. 237 00:13:04,514 --> 00:13:07,249 Why did you say "mankind" like that? 238 00:13:07,283 --> 00:13:09,151 Yeah. Nobody that's part of mankind 239 00:13:09,185 --> 00:13:11,520 would ever say "mankind" like that. 240 00:13:11,554 --> 00:13:15,574 Uh, I guess I used to be such a slacker that I'm still 241 00:13:15,575 --> 00:13:19,594 learning to speak like a cool, responsible human like you guys. 242 00:13:42,518 --> 00:13:44,219 Not cool. This is not cool. 243 00:13:44,253 --> 00:13:46,421 I'm on hold for Langley Mutual, Hayley. 244 00:13:46,455 --> 00:13:48,323 I'm not supposed to leave town. 245 00:13:48,357 --> 00:13:50,358 God, they're gonna move on to Brad. 246 00:13:50,393 --> 00:13:53,161 Mother... Ugh. Brad's gonna get it. 247 00:13:56,365 --> 00:14:00,635 So, no game plan? Just gonna run through an alien ship? 248 00:14:02,471 --> 00:14:06,575 Did you know Jacques Cousteau had a sex room just like this? 249 00:14:09,111 --> 00:14:10,979 Hayley! Hayley Smith, right? 250 00:14:11,013 --> 00:14:13,415 Who are you, and how do you know my name? 251 00:14:13,449 --> 00:14:16,218 You don't recognize Sinbad from "Houseguest"? 252 00:14:16,252 --> 00:14:18,386 He beat Dennis Miller on "Star Search." 253 00:14:18,421 --> 00:14:20,989 What are the schools even teaching these days? 254 00:14:21,023 --> 00:14:23,258 Hayley, I recognize you because I was with Jeff 255 00:14:23,292 --> 00:14:25,126 when we got caught by these aliens. 256 00:14:25,161 --> 00:14:26,695 You were with Jeff? Where is he? 257 00:14:26,729 --> 00:14:28,697 Oh, you are in luck. He's right there. 258 00:14:32,095 --> 00:14:36,164 Hmm. "You're in luck" may have been a bad choice of words. 259 00:14:36,199 --> 00:14:37,833 Oh, god. Jeff! 260 00:14:37,867 --> 00:14:40,235 You know what I'm just remembering right now? 261 00:14:40,269 --> 00:14:43,038 When the collectors encounter something new, they dissect it. 262 00:14:43,072 --> 00:14:46,208 Can't believe I forgot that. It's, like, their most famous thing. 263 00:14:46,242 --> 00:14:48,210 That's why they're called the Dissectors. 264 00:14:48,244 --> 00:14:50,445 You said they were called the Collectors. 265 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,148 Oh, they are now. They used to be the Dissectors. 266 00:14:53,182 --> 00:14:57,041 Did a bit of rebrand in the '80s. Same people who did new Coke. 267 00:15:00,011 --> 00:15:04,103 Ah, look at this. More species for our collection. 268 00:15:04,138 --> 00:15:07,462 - Seize them! - Hayley, run! 269 00:15:12,722 --> 00:15:15,845 I looked everywhere for Snot's hamster and I can't find it. 270 00:15:15,879 --> 00:15:19,081 Maybe it's time to focus on the pet you can find. 271 00:15:19,116 --> 00:15:20,449 You know, in Germany, 272 00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:23,852 goldfish are considered the hamsters of the sea. 273 00:15:23,887 --> 00:15:24,220 Hmm. 274 00:15:24,254 --> 00:15:27,490 I know you're lying, but maybe you're right, Klaus. 275 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:32,295 Check it out! I'm taking small bites 276 00:15:32,296 --> 00:15:34,831 - to make it last longer. - Me, too! 277 00:15:34,865 --> 00:15:36,065 Mmm. 278 00:15:36,099 --> 00:15:38,134 I'm pretending I'm a little baby mouse. 279 00:15:38,168 --> 00:15:40,269 That's so smart! 280 00:15:42,406 --> 00:15:43,806 Uh-oh. 281 00:15:45,242 --> 00:15:48,277 Mr. S., I have to tell you something. 282 00:15:48,312 --> 00:15:51,881 There's a reason I'm so much different from when I left Earth. 283 00:15:51,915 --> 00:15:54,116 I'm not actually Jeff. 284 00:15:54,151 --> 00:15:56,786 I'm not even human. 285 00:15:56,820 --> 00:16:00,256 - I'm following. Continue. - My people came across the real Jeff 286 00:16:00,290 --> 00:16:03,092 and the ghost of Sinbad traveling the galaxy. 287 00:16:03,126 --> 00:16:06,963 - Uh-huh. Go on. - My species are Collectors. 288 00:16:07,197 --> 00:16:09,999 For eons, we have traveled the universe 289 00:16:10,033 --> 00:16:11,517 trying to gather, collect, 290 00:16:11,518 --> 00:16:14,270 - and catalog what we find. - Naturally. 291 00:16:14,304 --> 00:16:16,439 We had never encountered a human before, 292 00:16:16,473 --> 00:16:19,408 so it was decided that I would travel back to Earth 293 00:16:19,443 --> 00:16:22,912 disguised as Jeff to collect more information about humanity. 294 00:16:22,946 --> 00:16:26,499 - Well, you came to the right place. - And Jeff told me everything 295 00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:27,984 I needed to know to blend in. 296 00:16:28,018 --> 00:16:30,553 So I came to Earth to live amongst you. 297 00:16:30,587 --> 00:16:33,789 I was supposed to bring you back to the ship for dissection, 298 00:16:33,824 --> 00:16:36,092 - but I grew fond of you. - Ditto. 299 00:16:36,126 --> 00:16:38,094 But there's something you should know. 300 00:16:38,128 --> 00:16:41,497 - The real Jeff is dead. - Good. 301 00:16:41,531 --> 00:16:43,294 Fingers crossed you feel the same way 302 00:16:43,295 --> 00:16:45,057 - about your daughter. - What?! 303 00:16:45,092 --> 00:16:47,870 She went to rescue Jeff, and now they're gonna dissect her, too. 304 00:16:47,905 --> 00:16:49,738 Get me to that ship! 305 00:16:55,552 --> 00:16:58,120 Something tells me this isn't hair removal! 306 00:16:58,155 --> 00:17:01,490 What ... nothing? I'm trying to keep it light here. 307 00:17:04,961 --> 00:17:07,930 - Stop right there! - Dad! 308 00:17:07,964 --> 00:17:10,332 Brothers, we must stop the collection. 309 00:17:10,367 --> 00:17:12,134 - Hubbub, hubbub. - Peas and carrots, peas and carrots. 310 00:17:12,269 --> 00:17:13,702 - Hubbub, hubbub. - Peas and carrots, peas and carrots. 311 00:17:13,737 --> 00:17:15,438 We can't kill her. 312 00:17:15,472 --> 00:17:18,140 - She's important to this man here. - Hey there. 313 00:17:18,175 --> 00:17:20,209 And he's important to me 314 00:17:20,243 --> 00:17:23,079 because he taught me what it is to be Human. 315 00:17:23,113 --> 00:17:24,580 They love. They laugh. 316 00:17:24,614 --> 00:17:28,717 They take prescription medication to help them love and laugh. 317 00:17:28,752 --> 00:17:31,487 Humans may do all those wonderful things, 318 00:17:31,521 --> 00:17:36,725 - But we must collect. - Perhaps this will change your mind. 319 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:41,497 It's called Fro-Yo, and it's proof of mankind's value. 320 00:17:41,531 --> 00:17:44,633 This is delicious. 321 00:17:44,668 --> 00:17:49,071 In return for giving us this savory cosmic treat, 322 00:17:49,106 --> 00:17:53,642 I will spare the lives of your human and your alien sex slave. 323 00:17:53,677 --> 00:17:57,113 Stan, what did you tell him? 324 00:17:58,415 --> 00:18:01,517 We did it! I'm so glad everyone's okay. 325 00:18:01,551 --> 00:18:03,619 Not everyone. 326 00:18:08,091 --> 00:18:09,625 Hayley, don't be sad. 327 00:18:09,659 --> 00:18:13,062 Alien Jeff is gonna stay on Earth and be the new Jeff. 328 00:18:13,096 --> 00:18:16,465 So you get Jeff back, and I get to hang out with my new bud. 329 00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:17,766 I don't want him. 330 00:18:17,801 --> 00:18:20,603 But I'm an exact replica of the Jeff you lost. 331 00:18:20,637 --> 00:18:24,273 You may be Jeff on the outside, but you're not Jeff up here. 332 00:18:24,477 --> 00:18:26,679 Look, Hayley, I know how much you love Jeff, 333 00:18:26,713 --> 00:18:28,547 but there's no bringing him back. 334 00:18:28,581 --> 00:18:30,683 If there was a way, I-I'd do it for you. 335 00:18:30,717 --> 00:18:32,951 - Except there is a way. - I won't do it for you. 336 00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:34,653 I can't. My hands are tied. 337 00:18:34,688 --> 00:18:37,589 I will have Jeff's brain implanted in my head, 338 00:18:37,624 --> 00:18:41,927 which means I will die, but Jeff will live on in my body. 339 00:18:41,961 --> 00:18:43,429 You would do that? 340 00:18:43,463 --> 00:18:45,831 Back on Earth, your dad and his friends 341 00:18:45,865 --> 00:18:48,901 made a sacrifice by giving me their frozen yogurt, 342 00:18:48,935 --> 00:18:50,936 and now I will make a sacrifice of my own! 343 00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:52,888 Whoa, whoa. Let's slow down there. 344 00:18:52,922 --> 00:18:56,925 - It was just a little Fro-Yo. - No, the gestures are equal. 345 00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:00,729 The universe is in balance. 346 00:19:03,132 --> 00:19:06,535 Thanks for watching my hamster while I was away. 347 00:19:06,569 --> 00:19:08,704 - So, where is he? - Right here. 348 00:19:09,939 --> 00:19:12,040 And good news ... I taught him to swim 349 00:19:12,075 --> 00:19:14,643 and hold his breath for the rest of his life. 350 00:19:14,677 --> 00:19:18,814 I can't wait to tell you about Jewish camp. 351 00:19:18,848 --> 00:19:22,050 Wait. You came back from Jewish camp? 352 00:19:28,671 --> 00:19:32,408 It'll feel so good to have Jeff back ... the real Jeff. 353 00:19:32,442 --> 00:19:36,578 Oh, god! I'll never forget you, alien Jeff! 354 00:19:36,613 --> 00:19:39,882 Actually, you will. The Collectors said this ship is equipped 355 00:19:39,916 --> 00:19:42,318 with "Men in black" technology. It was weird that they 356 00:19:42,319 --> 00:19:44,720 referred to it as "Men in black" technology, right? 357 00:19:44,754 --> 00:19:46,655 Like, did they get the idea from the movie 358 00:19:46,689 --> 00:19:48,357 and then set out to create it? 359 00:19:48,391 --> 00:19:50,626 And how did they see "Men in black"? So many questions. 360 00:19:50,660 --> 00:19:52,828 Anyway, you won't remember any of this, but I will. 361 00:19:52,862 --> 00:19:54,797 - How? - I'm immune ... space stuff. 362 00:19:54,831 --> 00:19:56,565 So, a-after we leave the ship, 363 00:19:56,599 --> 00:20:00,068 - none us will know Jeff's an alien? - Nope, not even Jeff. 364 00:20:00,103 --> 00:20:02,538 But what if he has, like, a-a medical emergency 365 00:20:02,572 --> 00:20:05,207 - and we have to ... - Why don't we just wait and see? 366 00:20:05,208 --> 00:20:06,008 Okay? Can we do that? 367 00:20:06,042 --> 00:20:08,110 Can we wait and see? Why don't we just do that? 368 00:20:09,612 --> 00:20:13,348 - Babe? You found me! - Jeff! 369 00:20:13,383 --> 00:20:16,785 - I love you! - I love you, too, babe. 370 00:20:16,820 --> 00:20:18,954 And, babe, I did a lot of thinking in space, 371 00:20:18,988 --> 00:20:21,023 and I decided that, if we ever have a kid, 372 00:20:21,057 --> 00:20:22,991 I'm willing to be a stay-at-home dad. 373 00:20:23,927 --> 00:20:25,494 And you don't have to work, either. 374 00:20:25,528 --> 00:20:28,248 We can stay at your parents' house and live off the government. 375 00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:30,699 - Oh, god. - Oh, hey, Mr. S. 376 00:20:30,733 --> 00:20:33,168 Well, since no one's gonna remember this... 377 00:20:33,203 --> 00:20:35,995 B-B-B-Body slam! 378 00:20:36,577 --> 00:20:39,491 We had a lot of fun here on American Dad tonight 379 00:20:39,492 --> 00:20:41,593 but we also encountered a lot of danger ... 380 00:20:41,628 --> 00:20:44,163 guns, dissection, meteors. 381 00:20:44,197 --> 00:20:46,498 Really makes you think that you should be prepared. 382 00:20:46,533 --> 00:20:50,269 Hi. I'm Brad for Langley Mutual Life insurance. 383 00:20:50,303 --> 00:20:51,970 Maybe it's time to make sure you're prepared 384 00:20:52,005 --> 00:20:56,056 if something bad happens. I know I am. 385 00:20:56,276 --> 00:20:57,976 Langley Mutual! 386 00:20:58,011 --> 00:20:59,878 ♪ Langley Mutual ♪ 387 00:20:59,913 --> 00:21:02,104 ♪ We don't cover floods ♪ 388 00:21:02,282 --> 00:21:04,331 Bye! Have a beautifull day! 389 00:21:04,540 --> 00:21:08,873 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~