1
00:01:07,955 --> 00:01:09,822
[ tennessee ernie ford's
"shenandoah" playing ]
2
00:01:54,765 --> 00:01:57,099
Stan, don't!
It's me -- principal lewis!
3
00:01:57,134 --> 00:01:58,233
Where's my family?!
4
00:01:58,268 --> 00:02:00,135
I don't know where they are.
5
00:02:00,170 --> 00:02:02,537
I swear!
To the old gods and the new!
6
00:02:05,142 --> 00:02:07,342
Fire's a bad idea.
7
00:02:07,378 --> 00:02:08,643
Relax, stan.
8
00:02:08,679 --> 00:02:10,645
There's two of us,
and it's nice and warm.
9
00:02:10,681 --> 00:02:12,481
Your clothes
are soaked through.
10
00:02:12,516 --> 00:02:13,715
You need to dry 'em out.
11
00:02:18,589 --> 00:02:21,456
Ooh, sexy.
12
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,287
If you weren't here with
your family, where were you?
13
00:02:28,322 --> 00:02:30,623
You know,
when the blast happened?
14
00:02:30,658 --> 00:02:33,325
On a mission.
South america.
15
00:02:33,361 --> 00:02:35,394
that's a long walk.
16
00:02:35,429 --> 00:02:37,763
You run into the two hundred
out there?
17
00:02:37,798 --> 00:02:39,265
I hear they're brutal.
18
00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:42,568
No, but i've seen
what they've done.
19
00:02:42,603 --> 00:02:46,005
Cool. Hey, you, uh, seems
like a lot of people
20
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:48,807
Are doing that thing
where they eat other people.
21
00:02:48,843 --> 00:02:50,676
i mean, isn't that wild?
22
00:02:50,711 --> 00:02:52,611
But also maybe
understandable, hmm?
23
00:02:52,647 --> 00:02:55,247
You, uh, done any of that?
24
00:02:55,283 --> 00:02:56,782
Nope.
25
00:02:56,817 --> 00:02:58,684
me neither!
26
00:02:58,719 --> 00:03:00,386
You passed my test!
27
00:03:00,421 --> 00:03:02,555
Now i feel
like i can relax.
28
00:03:02,590 --> 00:03:03,756
Look out!
29
00:03:05,826 --> 00:03:08,460
I thought i saw
a murderous road bandit,
30
00:03:08,496 --> 00:03:09,828
But it was just a moth.
31
00:03:09,864 --> 00:03:14,967
So tell me, what's your
feeling about tattoos?
32
00:03:15,002 --> 00:03:17,303
They should be covered
in the workplace.
33
00:03:17,338 --> 00:03:18,637
Come on, stan!
34
00:03:18,673 --> 00:03:20,906
And what's with
that huge-ass hummingbird?
35
00:03:20,942 --> 00:03:22,575
It's a falcon.
36
00:03:22,610 --> 00:03:24,977
It was the end
of fishing season.
37
00:03:25,012 --> 00:03:26,979
And the sun.
38
00:03:27,048 --> 00:03:29,815
I can remember how warm
it felt on my face.
39
00:03:29,850 --> 00:03:32,384
Aah!
My face is so hot!
40
00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:34,486
Why don't you wear
a hat?
41
00:03:34,522 --> 00:03:35,821
Great idea, hayley.
42
00:03:35,856 --> 00:03:38,624
Maybe don't look directly
at the sun.
43
00:03:38,659 --> 00:03:40,926
Oh, you'd just love for me
to miss another eclipse.
44
00:03:40,962 --> 00:03:43,462
Why did you want to come
on this trip so bad again?
45
00:03:43,497 --> 00:03:46,498
Yeah, don't you have,
like, a moral objection
46
00:03:46,534 --> 00:03:48,000
To fishing or something?
47
00:03:48,035 --> 00:03:52,638
Oh, my god, can i stop myself?
48
00:03:57,011 --> 00:03:59,211
This is nice.
49
00:03:59,246 --> 00:04:00,679
You know,
i asked to come along
50
00:04:00,715 --> 00:04:03,215
Because, well, it's actually
pretty rare that we --
51
00:04:03,250 --> 00:04:04,850
Talk quieter.
You're scaring the fish.
52
00:04:04,885 --> 00:04:06,485
It's just rare that --
quieter.
53
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:07,886
It's so rare --
too quiet!
54
00:04:07,922 --> 00:04:10,356
It sounds like you're
conspiring against the fish.
55
00:04:10,391 --> 00:04:11,790
You're making them
paranoid!
56
00:04:11,826 --> 00:04:13,926
I was saying we never spend
any time together!
57
00:04:13,961 --> 00:04:15,594
Well, they're
definitely gone now!
58
00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:16,895
First you eat all my drivin'
pickles on the way up,
59
00:04:16,931 --> 00:04:18,564
And now this!
60
00:04:18,599 --> 00:04:20,566
Wasn't there some sort of
protest you could have gone to
61
00:04:20,601 --> 00:04:21,900
Instead of ruining
my fishing trip?!
62
00:04:21,936 --> 00:04:23,335
A protest?
63
00:04:23,371 --> 00:04:25,571
How 'bout i do a protest
right here?
64
00:04:25,606 --> 00:04:27,806
Live free!
65
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,877
Whoa.
Well, you live free!
66
00:04:33,714 --> 00:04:36,548
This one, though,
definitely lives free.
67
00:04:38,853 --> 00:04:40,919
...Considered overbudget.
68
00:04:40,955 --> 00:04:43,288
Still, the lql insists
that langley falls'
69
00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:45,958
Very own hadron collider
will meet its opening deadline.
70
00:04:48,829 --> 00:04:50,963
Shut up, klaus!
71
00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:57,536
All she wanted was to spend
a little time together.
72
00:04:57,571 --> 00:04:58,671
I was a fool.
73
00:04:58,706 --> 00:05:01,173
So you got the tattoo...
74
00:05:01,208 --> 00:05:02,641
As penance.
75
00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:05,411
And a reminder of what
i'd try to do differently,
76
00:05:05,446 --> 00:05:08,414
If i'm ever lucky enough
to see my family again.
77
00:05:08,449 --> 00:05:10,816
Fire's dying down.
78
00:05:10,851 --> 00:05:12,351
All this talk of fish.
79
00:05:12,386 --> 00:05:14,853
I never touched the stuff
before the blast,
80
00:05:14,889 --> 00:05:16,655
But now
i'd kill for one.
81
00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:19,491
Man, i'd eat those worms
if they were here right now.
82
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:22,928
It's amazing the things
you'll eat...
83
00:05:22,963 --> 00:05:24,963
If you get hungry enough.
84
00:05:26,300 --> 00:05:28,300
I'm not a killer, stan.
85
00:05:28,335 --> 00:05:29,935
I just want a slice.
86
00:05:29,970 --> 00:05:31,837
Hyah!
87
00:05:34,675 --> 00:05:35,874
Did i get ya?
88
00:05:35,910 --> 00:05:36,942
Ya gotta say something
if i gotcha!
89
00:05:36,977 --> 00:05:39,645
Them's
apocalypse rules!
90
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,413
Stan, i thought
that was you!
91
00:05:41,449 --> 00:05:42,681
Aah! Quiet, greg!
92
00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:43,849
I was looking out
my basement window...
93
00:05:43,884 --> 00:05:45,884
Shh.
...And i said to myself,
94
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:47,753
'cause that's who
i talk to these days.
You have to stop talking.
95
00:05:47,788 --> 00:05:49,221
I said, "i think
that's stan smith."
please shut up!
96
00:05:49,256 --> 00:05:50,456
I didn't think
i'd ever see you again
97
00:05:50,491 --> 00:05:52,591
After your family left.
Be quiet!
98
00:05:52,626 --> 00:05:53,892
You have a lot of tattoos.
Wait, what? Do you know
where my family went?
99
00:05:53,928 --> 00:05:55,694
Oh, yeah. But we shouldn't
talk out in the open
100
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,730
Because principal lewis
has been prowling around,
101
00:05:57,765 --> 00:05:59,898
And you would not believe
what he's been getting up to.
102
00:06:01,936 --> 00:06:03,669
All i wanted was a taste!
103
00:06:03,704 --> 00:06:05,738
We're cool now!
So be cool!
104
00:06:07,875 --> 00:06:10,309
I can't look.
Did he get me?
105
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,072
Last i saw francine
and the kids,
106
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,940
They were leaving
for the new haven.
107
00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:17,709
In connecticut?
No.
108
00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:19,744
The new haven is a safe zone
a hundred miles west of here.
109
00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:22,013
If they were
in new haven, connecticut,
110
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,382
They'd be dead already...
Of boredom!
111
00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:25,817
J.K.
I've never been there.
112
00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:27,351
I just think it's more
important now than ever
113
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,686
To try to laugh.
114
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,588
What's this tattoo here?
Looks like a doily.
115
00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:32,023
I don't want
to talk about it.
116
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,092
Okay.
I'm feeling pretty weak.
117
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,427
Maybe i'll just
sleep a little.
118
00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:38,730
It was
a particularly warm june.
119
00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:41,833
I can still recall the light,
sweet smell of jasmine
120
00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:43,901
That lingered
in the summer air.
121
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,503
It's a thousand degrees!
122
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:47,705
I'm sweating
like a razorback hog!
123
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,508
It's really cool that you want
to do this with me, dad.
124
00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:52,610
Why can't i stretch again?
It's no good.
125
00:06:52,645 --> 00:06:54,812
You gotta keep those muscles
tight and ready.
126
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,948
Don't let the tendons
get all loosey-goosey
127
00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:58,049
Like some spaghetti man.
128
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,685
Sons and fathers,
on your marks!
129
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,987
All right, steve,
as you know, first prize
130
00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:05,590
Is a refurbished hamilton
beach panini press.
131
00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:08,326
With a little ciabatta
and a little gabagool,
132
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:11,362
I'll be mangia-ing my way
straight to mama-mia-ville.
133
00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:17,969
Speed it up!
134
00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:20,705
Aah! I think
i sprained my ankle!
135
00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:22,373
It's just a twist!
136
00:07:22,408 --> 00:07:24,776
There was a rusty nail
in one of the tires,
137
00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:27,345
And now my jaw feels
like it's locking up!
138
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,080
It's just tetanus!
139
00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:33,951
I'm really having
a hard time
140
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:35,987
Putting weight
on this foot!
141
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:38,489
I don't think
i can go on!
142
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:40,091
And i don't think
i can go another day
143
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,492
Eating sandwiches
that make my mouth cold!
144
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:42,827
Now, pick it up!
145
00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:44,929
Aah!
146
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:47,498
Oh, god, look at him
flat on the ground,
147
00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:49,433
Like
a pressed hot sandwich.
148
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,070
But why
is the tattoo a doily?
149
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,605
His leg was broken.
150
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:55,907
He spent the whole summer
laid up on the couch,
151
00:07:55,942 --> 00:07:57,074
Learning to knit.
152
00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:58,509
He made doilies,
153
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:00,611
Each one finer
and lacier than the last.
154
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,747
It was a nightmare.
155
00:08:02,782 --> 00:08:05,316
If i'd just carried him,
like i'm carrying you now...
156
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,052
Oh, cute, a rabbit.
157
00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:10,721
Oh, cute, a dinner.
158
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:13,558
Damn. I thought
it'd be somethin' bigger.
159
00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:15,927
Or someone.
160
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,630
Run for your lives!
161
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:20,965
Is -- is it the --
162
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,734
It's the two hundred!
They're coming!
163
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,839
Go! Go!
Get out of here!
164
00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:29,307
get out of here!
165
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,509
Stan, before
the two hundred kills us,
166
00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:32,944
I want to tell you
167
00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:35,112
That you were often
an inconsiderate neighbor.
168
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:39,617
it's the two hundred!
169
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:40,885
Clear out y'all!
170
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:43,054
You'll run faster
without your stu-uff.
171
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:44,388
Roger!
172
00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:48,626
We have to get moving!
The two hundred are coming.
173
00:08:48,661 --> 00:08:50,027
Oh, no,
there's no two hundred.
174
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:52,763
Made 'em up.
I just walk around,
175
00:08:52,799 --> 00:08:56,067
Do a creepy "waah waah,
the two hundred are coming!"
176
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:57,735
They scatter.
I get the stuff.
177
00:08:57,770 --> 00:09:00,371
It's mostly tin plates,
lot of spoons.
178
00:09:00,406 --> 00:09:02,974
I have so many spoons now,
i'm like the little mermaid.
179
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:04,842
Oh, my god, stan!
How are you?
180
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,611
And what's this
on the back?
181
00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:08,279
It's a greg.
Oh, right.
182
00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:10,781
Greg, you remember my...
Uncle roger?
183
00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:12,550
Stan, no.
That's all done now.
184
00:09:12,585 --> 00:09:14,051
We live
in a changed world.
185
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,853
There's no need
for characters.
186
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,321
I'm just a man in rags.
187
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:18,990
Whose name is clifton.
Hi, clifton!
188
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:21,893
We're heading to the new haven
to find francine and the kids.
189
00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:23,694
Ooh!
I haven't seen them in ages!
190
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,029
Not since the blast.
191
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:26,764
I'm coming with -- wait,
is steve gonna be there?
192
00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:29,033
I pray to god that he is.
193
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:31,969
Guh.
I still owe him 60 bucks.
194
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:34,005
But, like, he's not gonna care
about that anymore, right?
195
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,440
And maybe he's dead!
I am coming with you.
196
00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:41,779
I mean, sure, i could pay
steve back in spoons,
197
00:09:41,814 --> 00:09:44,615
But nowadays one spoon
is worth more than $60.
198
00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:46,550
How would he
even give me change?
199
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,386
What, like
a tiny little spoon?
200
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,087
Oh, my god,
that sounds amazing!
201
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,890
Let's rescue the tiny spoon
and the boy who has it!
202
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,460
Let's hop on!
203
00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:58,863
These tracks go
right to the new haven.
204
00:09:58,898 --> 00:09:59,997
It's on fire.
205
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,599
I guess
we can hang around here
206
00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:03,434
And see if those
wild dogs are friendly.
207
00:10:17,850 --> 00:10:19,850
We did this
in the wrong order.
208
00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:22,753
Goodbye, greg!
No hard feelings!
209
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,789
Damn it.
Don't beat yourself up.
210
00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:26,958
He was a liability
slowing us down.
211
00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:32,997
Ah! You did it!
Somehow.
212
00:10:33,032 --> 00:10:35,833
We're so...Glad.
213
00:10:38,404 --> 00:10:39,704
Boy, that blast.
214
00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:42,073
I don't remember
any of it.
215
00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:44,909
Was it a blast?
Like the party kind?
216
00:10:44,944 --> 00:10:47,712
I-i just think
it's more important now
217
00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:49,580
Than ever to try to laugh.
218
00:10:49,615 --> 00:10:50,715
Hey, me too.
219
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:52,717
Hey!
I'm haunted by memories.
220
00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:57,054
So, stan, we haven't talked
about all these tattoos.
221
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:59,357
Could i ask...
That we don't?
222
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:01,592
Why the garbage can tattoo
you ask?
223
00:11:01,627 --> 00:11:03,094
No.
It was a thursday morning.
224
00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:04,829
Trash day.
225
00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:07,565
We were having a very hot
august, which was unusual.
226
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,767
Unusual? August --
august is -- what?
227
00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:11,068
August is always hot.
228
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,004
Francine was sleeping
like an angel.
229
00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:15,840
Stan, did you remember
230
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:17,975
To put the garbage cans out
this time?
231
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,410
I'm in the shower!
232
00:11:19,445 --> 00:11:20,611
And no-o-o!
233
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:27,585
Come back!
234
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:30,521
This is two weeks' worth
of trash!
235
00:11:30,556 --> 00:11:33,524
My husband keeps forgetting
to take it to the curb!
236
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:04,488
Francine smith.
237
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,057
I just want
to let you know
238
00:12:06,092 --> 00:12:09,126
That my husband watches you
from our upstairs window.
239
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,874
Why would anyone go out
in this heat?
240
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:27,344
If francine is there
at the end of all this,
241
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:28,979
I'll make it up to her.
242
00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:32,550
She'll never carry trash again,
unless i forget for real.
243
00:12:33,719 --> 00:12:35,920
Gimme food
or the cripple gets it.
244
00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:41,492
We just left greg!
245
00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:43,494
I could tell that guy
was coming for the spoons,
246
00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:45,429
And i've worked too hard
and too long to --
247
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,598
Aw, crap, i left my spoons
on the train!
248
00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:48,899
Greg's dead.
249
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:50,868
As he should be.
He was the weakest --
250
00:12:50,903 --> 00:12:52,436
Hey, guys!
251
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:53,537
I managed to wrestle away
his knife and kill him.
252
00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:54,905
This isn't my blood.
253
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:57,041
Could i finish
what i was saying, please?
254
00:12:57,076 --> 00:13:00,644
Weakest link.
Greg is the weakest link.
255
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,546
I got your spoons.
256
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:10,855
No.
257
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,362
What happened?
258
00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:19,864
It was a massacre.
259
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:21,098
No survivors.
260
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,700
My family was here.
261
00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:24,502
Is there any chance
they made it out alive?
262
00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:27,538
What did i just say?
Ugh.
263
00:13:27,573 --> 00:13:29,073
Oh, no, stan.
264
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:30,708
This looks
like francine's locket.
265
00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:35,546
I'm...Too late.
266
00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:37,047
But i'm right on time!
267
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:38,415
Aaah!
268
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,117
You big, black bitch!
269
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,907
I bet you all think
i'm some kind of a monster,
270
00:13:46,942 --> 00:13:48,475
Just 'cause
i'm a cannibal now.
271
00:13:48,510 --> 00:13:50,844
That's what these
delicious jerks are sayin'.
272
00:13:50,879 --> 00:13:53,080
I think you're great.
I'm nuts about ya.
273
00:13:53,115 --> 00:13:55,682
Stan, snap out of it!
We gotta get out of here.
274
00:13:55,718 --> 00:13:56,984
This guy is gonna eat us.
275
00:13:57,019 --> 00:14:00,654
See ya,
wouldn't wanna be ya.
276
00:14:00,689 --> 00:14:03,857
what?
277
00:14:03,892 --> 00:14:06,493
It was just
a normal breakfast...
278
00:14:06,528 --> 00:14:08,895
Can't we just enjoy our ride
in the cage cart?
279
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:10,497
...Except
i was about to leave
280
00:14:10,532 --> 00:14:12,132
On a perilous mission
to south america
281
00:14:12,167 --> 00:14:14,067
That i knew i might not
come back from.
282
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:17,037
I wanted to tell them
i loved them, but i couldn't.
283
00:14:17,072 --> 00:14:18,505
'cause i never do.
284
00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:20,941
They would've known
something was wrong,
285
00:14:20,976 --> 00:14:22,643
And they
would've worried.
286
00:14:22,678 --> 00:14:25,579
In that moment, i wanted to say
how much they meant to me.
287
00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:27,714
I wanted to say
how much i regretted
288
00:14:27,750 --> 00:14:29,750
Letting things
get to this point,
289
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:32,819
Where them hearing "i love you"
from me would be weird.
290
00:14:32,855 --> 00:14:36,690
I wanted to say all those
things, but instead i said...
291
00:14:36,725 --> 00:14:39,960
see ya,
wouldn't wanna be ya!
292
00:14:41,764 --> 00:14:44,164
Those are the last words
i ever said to them.
293
00:14:44,199 --> 00:14:46,566
I wasn't with them
when the blast hit.
294
00:14:46,602 --> 00:14:48,502
I wasn't with them
when they needed me.
295
00:14:48,537 --> 00:14:49,703
And now they're dead.
296
00:14:49,738 --> 00:14:51,505
And i want to be dead,
too!
297
00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:53,740
Shoot me, lewis!
I'm beggin' ya!
298
00:14:53,776 --> 00:14:55,842
Stan,
you're stressin' me out!
299
00:14:55,878 --> 00:14:59,546
Lucky for you,
i'm a stress eater.
300
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:03,984
What the hell?!
301
00:15:05,087 --> 00:15:06,620
Aah!
302
00:15:09,892 --> 00:15:12,826
Never bring a gun
to a bird fight.
303
00:15:12,861 --> 00:15:15,128
Baby girl!
You're alive!
304
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,431
And you continued
your interest in falcons!
305
00:15:17,466 --> 00:15:19,566
I wouldn't come
any closer.
306
00:15:19,601 --> 00:15:22,636
Oh, i appreciate the advice,
but --
307
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:24,838
Net!
Aah!
308
00:15:24,873 --> 00:15:27,674
Steve! Little steve!
309
00:15:27,710 --> 00:15:29,810
That took me three months
to knit!
310
00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:32,779
My kids are alive!
And capable!
311
00:15:32,815 --> 00:15:34,748
And the cart's moving!
312
00:15:34,783 --> 00:15:37,617
So strong,
i can't get a tear goin'.
313
00:15:51,667 --> 00:15:54,634
It's too heavy, dad!
314
00:15:54,670 --> 00:15:56,002
We can't stop it!
315
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:59,506
It's okay, kids.
You can let go.
316
00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:00,941
He doesn't speak
for the cart!
317
00:16:00,976 --> 00:16:02,743
Take care of each other.
318
00:16:03,812 --> 00:16:05,812
francine!
319
00:16:05,848 --> 00:16:09,082
Thanks to you always hiding
in the bathroom on trash day,
320
00:16:09,118 --> 00:16:12,652
I have a powerful set of
the muscles i'm using now.
321
00:16:16,125 --> 00:16:18,592
in a minute, stan.
322
00:16:21,830 --> 00:16:24,131
I thought you were dead
when i found the locket.
323
00:16:24,166 --> 00:16:26,533
You never take it off.
It's too precious to you.
324
00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:27,868
I traded it
for flip-flops.
325
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,103
There were communal showers
at new haven.
326
00:16:30,139 --> 00:16:31,538
Which is why
we left new haven.
327
00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:32,873
Couldn't do it.
328
00:16:32,908 --> 00:16:35,509
Now that we're reunited,
i want to say something
329
00:16:35,544 --> 00:16:37,611
I couldn't bring myself
to say before.
330
00:16:39,114 --> 00:16:41,181
I would like to see ya.
331
00:16:41,216 --> 00:16:43,016
And i would want
to be ya.
332
00:16:43,051 --> 00:16:45,185
Is that
what you wanted to say?
Don't rush me.
333
00:16:45,220 --> 00:16:47,087
There'll be plenty of time
for that later.
334
00:16:47,122 --> 00:16:49,523
you all think you're safe?
335
00:16:49,558 --> 00:16:52,993
You think i'm alone?
336
00:16:59,668 --> 00:17:01,034
I love you guys so much.
337
00:17:01,069 --> 00:17:05,205
It's time we feast.
Take them.
338
00:17:07,643 --> 00:17:09,676
It's the
t-t-t-two hundred!
339
00:17:09,711 --> 00:17:11,812
Nonsense!
I made the two hundred up.
340
00:17:11,847 --> 00:17:13,513
They don't exist.
Whaaa?
341
00:17:15,984 --> 00:17:18,151
Two hundred rogers?
342
00:17:18,187 --> 00:17:19,886
Two hundred mes?
343
00:17:19,922 --> 00:17:22,522
I don't underst--
oh, right. I remember.
344
00:17:22,558 --> 00:17:26,460
Welcome, mrs. Houlihan's
sixth grade class,
345
00:17:26,495 --> 00:17:29,196
To our brand-new
hadron collider.
346
00:17:29,231 --> 00:17:31,865
This is where we shoot
sub-atomic particles
347
00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:33,066
At fantastic speeds.
348
00:17:33,101 --> 00:17:34,668
And you kids are in luck,
349
00:17:34,703 --> 00:17:37,103
Because today we're shooting
our first beam.
350
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:38,872
First beam!
351
00:17:38,907 --> 00:17:41,007
Now, kids,
if you look through here,
352
00:17:41,043 --> 00:17:43,777
You can actually see
inside the collider tunnel.
353
00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:45,912
Can we go in there?
Good lord, no!
354
00:17:45,948 --> 00:17:47,981
That would be wildly dangerous.
355
00:17:48,016 --> 00:17:49,850
But he's in there.
356
00:17:49,885 --> 00:17:52,486
Sorry!
I dropped my ray-bans.
357
00:17:52,521 --> 00:17:53,887
what's that sound?
358
00:17:53,922 --> 00:17:56,423
The beam!
It's starting!
359
00:17:56,458 --> 00:17:57,724
Ouch!
360
00:17:57,759 --> 00:17:59,726
Something really, really small
just hit me.
361
00:17:59,761 --> 00:18:01,394
Ouch! And again!
362
00:18:01,430 --> 00:18:02,796
Ow.
363
00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:04,064
Ow.
364
00:18:04,099 --> 00:18:06,600
Ow.
Dear god.
365
00:18:06,635 --> 00:18:07,801
Ow!
366
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,703
Ow! Ow!
367
00:18:09,738 --> 00:18:12,873
Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow,
ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!
368
00:18:12,908 --> 00:18:14,140
I feel like
i'm gonna fart.
369
00:18:17,079 --> 00:18:19,813
Come on, man.
Just a little wind.
370
00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:21,915
Yeah!
371
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:29,756
Oh! They were hitting me
with bosons.
372
00:18:29,791 --> 00:18:31,992
Yeah, yeah,
you can't do that.
373
00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:34,728
The particle impact
caused my personas to split
374
00:18:34,763 --> 00:18:36,863
And form separate
physical entities,
375
00:18:36,899 --> 00:18:39,199
Which released
a cataclysmic energy burst.
376
00:18:39,234 --> 00:18:40,567
I apologize, everyone.
377
00:18:40,602 --> 00:18:41,801
I'm the one
who ended the world.
378
00:18:41,837 --> 00:18:43,503
Saved these babies,
though.
379
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,705
Aw, damn it,
there's a crack in them.
380
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:51,077
Jeannie gold!
Tom yabo!
381
00:18:51,113 --> 00:18:53,213
Genevieve vavance!
Braff zacklin!
382
00:18:53,248 --> 00:18:55,382
Roy rogers mcfreely!
Kevin bacon!
383
00:18:55,417 --> 00:18:57,417
Horse renoir!
Chex lemeneux!
384
00:18:57,452 --> 00:18:59,019
Clive trotter!
Miles raymond!
385
00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:01,755
The phantom of the telethon!
Cleshawn montegue!
386
00:19:01,790 --> 00:19:04,457
Captain francois dubonet!
Roland chang!
387
00:19:04,493 --> 00:19:06,059
General juanito pequeño!
388
00:19:06,094 --> 00:19:08,828
Ricky spanish!
389
00:19:08,864 --> 00:19:10,931
Max jets!
Jenny fromdabloc!
390
00:19:10,966 --> 00:19:13,533
Frankie carconni!
Ruby zeldastein!
391
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:15,068
Uncle roger!
Dr. Penguin!
392
00:19:15,103 --> 00:19:17,103
Jojo quinoa!
Michael corbin!
393
00:19:17,139 --> 00:19:19,573
The legman!
Dan ansome handsome!
394
00:19:19,608 --> 00:19:21,875
Arbuckle t. Boone!
Lazlo morphine!
395
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:23,910
Shalonda dykes!
Dom fikowski!
396
00:19:23,946 --> 00:19:26,780
Dimitri garabedian!
Morris buttermaker!
397
00:19:26,815 --> 00:19:29,182
Sidney huffman!
Reaganomics lamborghini!
398
00:19:29,217 --> 00:19:31,151
Martin sugar!
Burt jarvis!
399
00:19:31,186 --> 00:19:33,153
Cuss mustard!
Frank slade!
400
00:19:33,188 --> 00:19:35,989
Abigail lemonparty!
Twill ongenbone!
401
00:19:36,024 --> 00:19:39,059
And who could forget clip clop!
402
00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:41,695
Are they...
On our side?
403
00:19:41,730 --> 00:19:45,432
Kevi-i-i-i-i-n ramage!
404
00:19:45,467 --> 00:19:46,666
Aah!
405
00:19:46,702 --> 00:19:48,034
They are not
on our side.
406
00:19:51,073 --> 00:19:55,475
I think we all knew
it would end this way.
407
00:19:58,013 --> 00:20:01,748
Did somebody order the fish?
408
00:20:01,783 --> 00:20:03,550
Whooooo!
409
00:20:11,827 --> 00:20:14,494
And that's the end
of the story.
410
00:20:33,949 --> 00:20:35,782
Grandpa, how come
you never talk about
411
00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:37,150
What happened
in the battle?
412
00:20:37,185 --> 00:20:39,152
'cause grandpa didn't
have a great view
413
00:20:39,187 --> 00:20:40,587
From his hiding spot.
414
00:20:40,622 --> 00:20:42,155
But that's not
what's important.
415
00:20:42,190 --> 00:20:44,190
What's important
is that every day,
416
00:20:44,226 --> 00:20:47,994
We take a moment and tell
the people we care about...
417
00:20:48,030 --> 00:20:51,264
"don't let roger
in a hadron collider!"
418
00:20:51,299 --> 00:20:55,468
I need to be watched
very closely.
419
00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:55,735
Bye!
Have a beautiful time!