1 00:00:01,831 --> 00:00:05,167 Feeling a little tired of America's number-one sport, 2 00:00:05,202 --> 00:00:06,752 football? 3 00:00:06,804 --> 00:00:08,220 God, they're pathetic! 4 00:00:08,256 --> 00:00:10,256 There's got to be a better way. 5 00:00:10,308 --> 00:00:12,975 And there already is. 6 00:00:13,010 --> 00:00:15,678 Arena Football! 7 00:00:15,730 --> 00:00:17,813 Unforgiving sideline barriers! 8 00:00:19,066 --> 00:00:21,684 Water cannons! 9 00:00:22,937 --> 00:00:26,155 And you better watch out for... 10 00:00:26,190 --> 00:00:28,724 the Black Knight! 11 00:00:28,759 --> 00:00:30,759 It's Arena Football. 12 00:00:30,795 --> 00:00:32,661 And the indoor thrills are coming your way 13 00:00:32,697 --> 00:00:35,114 as the league welcomes its newest expansion team -- 14 00:00:35,166 --> 00:00:38,667 the Langley Falls Bazooka Sharks! 15 00:00:38,703 --> 00:00:41,086 Finally! Yeah! 16 00:00:41,122 --> 00:00:43,255 Yeah! Ah! Yeah! 17 00:00:43,291 --> 00:00:44,707 Yeah! 18 00:00:44,709 --> 00:00:46,258 Yeah! Yeah! 19 00:00:46,294 --> 00:00:47,810 Yeah! 20 00:00:47,845 --> 00:00:49,011 Yeah! 21 00:00:54,302 --> 00:00:57,685 # Good morning, U.S.A. 22 00:00:57,805 --> 00:01:01,056 # I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day # 23 00:01:01,058 --> 00:01:04,143 # the sun in the sky has a smile on his face # 24 00:01:04,195 --> 00:01:08,314 # and he's shinin' a salute to the American race # 25 00:01:10,234 --> 00:01:13,652 # Oh, boy, it's swell to say 26 00:01:13,704 --> 00:01:15,871 # Good -- # Good morning, U.S.A. 27 00:01:15,906 --> 00:01:17,156 Aah! 28 00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:29,335 Old Man Hansen, do you sell Bazooka Sharks merchandise? 29 00:01:29,387 --> 00:01:32,171 I'm looking for one of those snuggies with a built-in diaper 30 00:01:32,223 --> 00:01:33,889 and a place I can put my driver's license. 31 00:01:33,924 --> 00:01:36,342 That blasted Arena Football team! 32 00:01:36,394 --> 00:01:38,994 We've been here three generations, 33 00:01:39,030 --> 00:01:42,097 and now they're tearing us down to put in the new stadium. 34 00:01:42,133 --> 00:01:44,867 You poor old man. 35 00:01:44,902 --> 00:01:47,236 This lamp sucks. I'll give you 2 bucks for it. 36 00:01:47,271 --> 00:01:49,271 Mom! That is disgusting. 37 00:01:49,323 --> 00:01:51,774 Taking advantage of -- wait. Half off this bird cage? 38 00:01:51,776 --> 00:01:53,976 Please, I could really use this. 39 00:01:54,011 --> 00:01:56,211 I foster abused birds. 40 00:01:56,247 --> 00:01:58,380 I'd like to put a candle in it. 41 00:01:58,416 --> 00:02:00,849 I still have one shot to save the store. 42 00:02:00,885 --> 00:02:03,986 There's a town council meeting about the stadium tonight. 43 00:02:04,021 --> 00:02:06,822 Tonight, eh? Oh, I'll be there. 44 00:02:06,857 --> 00:02:09,958 Please don't come if you're gonna support the stadium. 45 00:02:09,994 --> 00:02:12,428 It's too late. 46 00:02:15,833 --> 00:02:18,367 What's to become of you with the store closing, Petruchio? 47 00:02:18,402 --> 00:02:21,370 It could-a be time to find the guy who killed my brother. 48 00:02:21,405 --> 00:02:23,305 Mm, now, what is this lining? 49 00:02:23,340 --> 00:02:26,008 Is a fine Bemberg lining, Mr. Steve. 50 00:02:26,043 --> 00:02:28,210 Bemberg, not silk. 51 00:02:28,245 --> 00:02:31,080 Well, you've been right about this kind of thing before. 52 00:02:31,115 --> 00:02:33,382 Snot went nuts for me in Paisley. 53 00:02:33,417 --> 00:02:35,951 Inseam always-a 20 inches. 54 00:02:35,986 --> 00:02:37,953 I-is that unusual? 55 00:02:37,988 --> 00:02:41,056 You see, all the other boys -- bum, bum, bum, 56 00:02:41,092 --> 00:02:42,424 they are growing. 57 00:02:42,460 --> 00:02:46,295 You -- bum, bum, bum. You hear the difference? 58 00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:48,931 They go on to men's-a department. 59 00:02:48,966 --> 00:02:51,867 But you stay with Petruchio. 60 00:02:51,902 --> 00:02:54,470 Y-you're telling me I'm not growing at all? 61 00:02:54,505 --> 00:02:56,371 Not in two years. 62 00:02:56,407 --> 00:02:59,441 And it says it's been-a three days since-a you poop. 63 00:02:59,477 --> 00:03:02,211 Let me see that book. 64 00:03:02,246 --> 00:03:04,446 A-never. 65 00:03:10,582 --> 00:03:12,516 I am not growing! Look! 66 00:03:12,551 --> 00:03:14,134 Nothing's happening! 67 00:03:14,186 --> 00:03:16,219 Yeah, when we flew to Hawaii last summer, 68 00:03:16,271 --> 00:03:17,471 you sat on dad's lap for free. 69 00:03:17,593 --> 00:03:18,962 I haven't grown in years. 70 00:03:19,043 --> 00:03:21,077 And it's actually quite liberating. 71 00:03:21,144 --> 00:03:23,947 Gives me time to focus on all my other shit. 72 00:03:23,983 --> 00:03:25,933 B-b-but what if I never grow again? 73 00:03:25,968 --> 00:03:28,185 Look, if you really want to do something, 74 00:03:28,220 --> 00:03:31,388 I know a doctor who specializes in growth treatments. 75 00:03:31,390 --> 00:03:34,057 A specialist -- that's where the money is. 76 00:03:34,059 --> 00:03:36,193 I should probably talk to my dad about this. 77 00:03:36,228 --> 00:03:37,861 Steve, you want to talk? 78 00:03:37,897 --> 00:03:40,063 Oh, yeah. I wanted to ask you -- There's no time. 79 00:03:40,065 --> 00:03:41,448 Your mother and I have to hurry 80 00:03:41,484 --> 00:03:43,000 down to the town council meeting. 81 00:03:43,035 --> 00:03:44,301 I hope they let me speak. 82 00:03:44,336 --> 00:03:46,336 I didn't put my name on a list or anything. 83 00:03:46,372 --> 00:03:49,006 Of course they'll let you, honey. You're tall. 84 00:03:49,041 --> 00:03:51,625 You're right. I'm to be taken seriously. 85 00:03:52,995 --> 00:03:54,995 Oh, Steve, that really ties into 86 00:03:55,047 --> 00:03:57,214 what you were talking about earlier. 87 00:03:57,249 --> 00:04:01,118 The sign outside needs to be updated. 88 00:04:01,153 --> 00:04:03,353 And I say we just break the glass 89 00:04:03,389 --> 00:04:06,290 instead of continuing this preposterous 30-year search 90 00:04:06,325 --> 00:04:07,591 for the key. 91 00:04:07,626 --> 00:04:09,293 And I say the key is still out there. 92 00:04:09,328 --> 00:04:10,527 Agreed. 93 00:04:12,431 --> 00:04:14,898 We'll now hear the last of the community objections 94 00:04:14,934 --> 00:04:16,567 to the Arena Football stadium. 95 00:04:16,602 --> 00:04:18,502 First up is Old Man Hansen. 96 00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:22,472 Good people of Langley Falls, 97 00:04:22,508 --> 00:04:25,108 I ask you to join me 98 00:04:25,144 --> 00:04:29,112 in standing up to the no-good crooks on our city council. 99 00:04:29,148 --> 00:04:32,349 These bums are lining their pockets with their dirty deals, 100 00:04:32,384 --> 00:04:35,052 and they need to be hogtied and thrown down a well! 101 00:04:36,555 --> 00:04:39,122 Sorry. I'm a little nervous. 102 00:04:39,158 --> 00:04:40,657 You're doing great. 103 00:04:40,693 --> 00:04:42,893 It's important for Langley Falls 104 00:04:42,928 --> 00:04:45,379 to protect our historic places. 105 00:04:45,431 --> 00:04:50,067 Also, while I'm up here, my name isn't Old Man Hansen. 106 00:04:50,102 --> 00:04:52,936 It's Olmen -- Olmen Hansen. 107 00:04:52,972 --> 00:04:55,172 It's Swedish. I'm 43. 108 00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:57,941 I think we've all heard just about enough from Old Man H. 109 00:04:57,977 --> 00:04:59,977 He doesn't know what he's talking about. 110 00:04:59,979 --> 00:05:01,645 If you don't count our two hockey teams 111 00:05:01,697 --> 00:05:03,580 and our championship basketball squad -- 112 00:05:03,616 --> 00:05:06,316 Go Lizards -- we have no indoor sports in this town. 113 00:05:06,318 --> 00:05:09,620 We need indoor sports for the times when it's raining! 114 00:05:10,689 --> 00:05:13,156 Look at this beautiful vision of the future. 115 00:05:13,208 --> 00:05:16,326 It's time for us to join the ranks of the other great cities 116 00:05:16,328 --> 00:05:18,662 in the arena league mid-Atlantic conference. 117 00:05:18,664 --> 00:05:22,165 I'm talking Wilkes-Barre, Harrisburg, Wilmington. 118 00:05:22,167 --> 00:05:24,001 [Bleep] Wilmington! 119 00:05:24,036 --> 00:05:25,602 Great cities have to move forward. 120 00:05:25,638 --> 00:05:27,704 And you know what else has to move forward? 121 00:05:27,740 --> 00:05:29,473 Uh, parades? 122 00:05:29,508 --> 00:05:32,509 Sharks. Bazooka Sharks. 123 00:05:32,544 --> 00:05:35,178 Wow. Parades isn't wrong. 124 00:05:35,214 --> 00:05:37,214 We can't go back to the past. 125 00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:40,584 We can't go back to a time before Arena Football. 126 00:05:40,619 --> 00:05:42,586 No go back! 127 00:05:42,621 --> 00:05:43,987 All: 128 00:05:44,023 --> 00:05:45,522 Wait, what is this? 129 00:05:45,574 --> 00:05:47,074 Oh, just some tree that's gonna be cut down 130 00:05:47,109 --> 00:05:48,609 to make way for the arena. 131 00:05:48,661 --> 00:05:52,729 I'd like to go back on my previous statement. 132 00:05:52,765 --> 00:05:55,399 But no go back. 133 00:05:55,434 --> 00:05:57,301 This stadium cannot happen. 134 00:05:57,336 --> 00:05:59,036 Mr. Smith, 135 00:05:59,071 --> 00:06:00,604 you've made a passionate case in favor of progress, 136 00:06:00,639 --> 00:06:04,274 and now, before us and God and the Langley charter, 137 00:06:04,310 --> 00:06:07,177 you mysteriously reverse your position? 138 00:06:07,212 --> 00:06:11,481 You are, simply put, the most electric speaker I've ever seen. 139 00:06:11,517 --> 00:06:14,151 I-I just think we're, uh, rushing into things. 140 00:06:14,186 --> 00:06:15,686 That's what I'm saying. 141 00:06:15,721 --> 00:06:18,188 Can someone put grandpa to bed? I'm trying to talk here. 142 00:06:18,223 --> 00:06:20,357 We went to high school together! 143 00:06:20,392 --> 00:06:23,276 Let's get real, you guys. Do we even want this stadium? 144 00:06:23,312 --> 00:06:25,696 Arena Football is kind of lame. 145 00:06:25,731 --> 00:06:27,564 Mr. Smith, 146 00:06:27,566 --> 00:06:29,533 what is really going on here? 147 00:06:29,568 --> 00:06:32,536 It obviously has something to do with that tree. 148 00:06:32,571 --> 00:06:35,238 Now, come on. You can talk to us. 149 00:06:35,274 --> 00:06:39,476 We're your town council. We love you. 150 00:06:39,511 --> 00:06:42,045 All right. 151 00:06:42,081 --> 00:06:45,382 If you must know, that tree... 152 00:06:45,417 --> 00:06:47,484 that tree is my father. 153 00:06:47,519 --> 00:06:50,153 What does that even mean? 154 00:06:50,189 --> 00:06:52,289 It means he's half tree. 155 00:06:52,324 --> 00:06:56,326 Question is, what's the other half? 156 00:07:01,826 --> 00:07:04,243 Order, order. 157 00:07:04,278 --> 00:07:06,946 Stenographer, can you read those last parts back? 158 00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:09,498 And then Mr. Smith said, "That tree is my father," 159 00:07:09,534 --> 00:07:12,351 at which point, the stenographer blacked out from excitement 160 00:07:12,386 --> 00:07:14,019 and the record stops. 161 00:07:14,055 --> 00:07:15,387 I apologize to the council. 162 00:07:15,423 --> 00:07:17,323 I ate some almonds. I'm good now. 163 00:07:17,358 --> 00:07:19,592 Mr. Smith, I think we're ready to hear what you mean 164 00:07:19,627 --> 00:07:21,460 when you say this tree is your father. 165 00:07:21,495 --> 00:07:24,330 Okay. I'll tell you. 166 00:07:25,633 --> 00:07:27,099 I was just a little -- 167 00:07:28,336 --> 00:07:29,969 I was just -- 168 00:07:30,004 --> 00:07:31,270 Is everyone comfortable? 169 00:07:32,707 --> 00:07:35,174 I was just a little kid. 170 00:07:36,227 --> 00:07:38,060 The father-son picnic. 171 00:07:38,112 --> 00:07:41,947 And, as usual, my dad, Jack, was the only one who didn't show up. 172 00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:43,616 I felt so alone. 173 00:07:43,651 --> 00:07:47,236 But then -- then I wasn't. 174 00:07:47,288 --> 00:07:50,372 After that, I came back everyday after school. 175 00:07:50,408 --> 00:07:54,360 I know this sounds crazy, but the tree raised me. 176 00:07:54,395 --> 00:07:57,129 He taught me how to play catch. 177 00:07:57,164 --> 00:07:59,331 He watched me grow. 178 00:08:02,703 --> 00:08:05,421 He helped me start my first business, 179 00:08:05,473 --> 00:08:07,423 even gave me my product. 180 00:08:07,475 --> 00:08:11,510 Turns out magnolia juice is as poisonous as it is delicious. 181 00:08:11,512 --> 00:08:15,064 And no matter what, he kept me safe. 182 00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:24,273 His mighty roots connected me to something constant, 183 00:08:24,325 --> 00:08:26,125 something I could depend on, 184 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:29,261 when so often life is cruel and unreliable. 185 00:08:29,297 --> 00:08:33,999 He has been and always will be there for me. 186 00:08:35,336 --> 00:08:37,970 Please don't kill my tree daddy. 187 00:08:38,005 --> 00:08:39,972 My God, Stan. 188 00:08:40,007 --> 00:08:42,708 How come I've never heard of this tree father before? 189 00:08:42,710 --> 00:08:44,259 I've brought you there tons of time. 190 00:08:44,295 --> 00:08:45,678 I made us have our wedding there. 191 00:08:45,713 --> 00:08:48,414 Oh. I just thought you were a cheap asshole. 192 00:08:48,449 --> 00:08:51,450 In light of new facts and emotions, 193 00:08:51,485 --> 00:08:55,220 I move to cancel the stadium construction. 194 00:08:55,256 --> 00:08:56,655 All in favor? 195 00:08:56,691 --> 00:08:58,424 Aye. 196 00:08:58,459 --> 00:08:59,725 All opposed? 197 00:09:01,228 --> 00:09:04,196 It's Dom Fikowski, the asphalt king. 198 00:09:04,231 --> 00:09:05,631 He runs asphalt in this town. 199 00:09:05,666 --> 00:09:07,232 Don't you think I know that? 200 00:09:07,268 --> 00:09:09,635 Y'all know me. Y'all know what I do. 201 00:09:09,670 --> 00:09:13,439 I sling the hot stuff, the flat makings, the stone carpet. 202 00:09:13,474 --> 00:09:16,675 I'm sure you folks are hearing a lot of objections to the arena. 203 00:09:16,711 --> 00:09:20,312 Taxes, traffic, crime -- so much crime. 204 00:09:20,348 --> 00:09:21,513 Crime is a problem. 205 00:09:21,549 --> 00:09:23,315 Think of the advantages 206 00:09:23,351 --> 00:09:25,551 from an asphalt-pouring standpoint. 207 00:09:25,586 --> 00:09:27,486 With the new parking lots alone, 208 00:09:27,521 --> 00:09:31,056 we're looking at two square miles of sizzling-hot tarmac. 209 00:09:31,092 --> 00:09:32,758 When the sun starts beating on it, 210 00:09:32,793 --> 00:09:35,678 the average temperature around town is gonna go up 10 degrees. 211 00:09:35,730 --> 00:09:38,364 With all the balmy, roasting breezes, 212 00:09:38,399 --> 00:09:41,567 it's gonna feel like we're on permanent vacation. 213 00:09:41,602 --> 00:09:43,268 Ooh. 214 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,020 And if you're still on the fence, 215 00:09:45,072 --> 00:09:47,656 allow me to get you off... the fence 216 00:09:47,692 --> 00:09:50,192 with some free asphalt. 217 00:09:50,244 --> 00:09:51,610 Aw! 218 00:09:51,612 --> 00:09:54,279 It burns. 219 00:09:55,783 --> 00:09:58,117 The stadium is back on. 220 00:10:01,756 --> 00:10:04,039 Roger, you can't build the stadium. 221 00:10:04,091 --> 00:10:06,675 You're standing here in a parking lot I poured, 222 00:10:06,711 --> 00:10:08,660 asking me not to pour asphalt? 223 00:10:08,696 --> 00:10:10,796 Pouring asphalt is what I do, Stan. 224 00:10:10,831 --> 00:10:13,766 If you do this, it would mean the death of my dad tree. 225 00:10:13,801 --> 00:10:17,369 Ugh. I really wanted this pour. 226 00:10:17,405 --> 00:10:20,389 But out of respect for our friendship, 227 00:10:20,441 --> 00:10:24,309 I'll withdraw my bid, kill the project, and save your tree. 228 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:29,615 We did it, tree dad. They're not gonna cut you down. 229 00:10:29,650 --> 00:10:32,284 And it's all thanks to Roger. 230 00:10:32,319 --> 00:10:34,353 That paper boy always finds me. 231 00:10:34,388 --> 00:10:36,522 It's 'cause I'm in love with you. 232 00:10:37,725 --> 00:10:39,691 "Stadium off... 233 00:10:39,727 --> 00:10:41,360 to the races." 234 00:10:41,395 --> 00:10:42,594 What? 235 00:10:42,630 --> 00:10:44,630 "Carconi brothers pick up construction bid 236 00:10:44,665 --> 00:10:46,632 after Fikowski drops out." 237 00:10:46,667 --> 00:10:48,801 Carconi brothers. 238 00:10:50,871 --> 00:10:52,671 I knew it would be you. 239 00:10:52,723 --> 00:10:55,340 You have to cancel this project. You promised. 240 00:10:55,392 --> 00:10:57,392 But I don't control anything around here. 241 00:10:57,428 --> 00:10:59,178 I'm just dumb old Frankie. 242 00:10:59,230 --> 00:11:01,590 My twin brother, Freddie's, the boss, and what he says goes. 243 00:11:01,615 --> 00:11:04,283 I screw up a lot. Stupid Frankie. 244 00:11:04,318 --> 00:11:07,686 So, your twin brother is who I have to talk to? 245 00:11:07,721 --> 00:11:09,755 So tedious. 246 00:11:09,790 --> 00:11:11,757 Damn it, Frankie! 247 00:11:11,792 --> 00:11:14,526 You just let some nut come in and open my plywood door? 248 00:11:14,562 --> 00:11:16,161 He was so fast, Freddie. 249 00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:18,447 You have a human brother? 250 00:11:18,499 --> 00:11:21,116 Oh, yeah. And mama just loves Freddie. 251 00:11:21,168 --> 00:11:22,701 She lets him have sex with girls 252 00:11:22,753 --> 00:11:25,671 but puts my ear to the stove for playing with the chickens. 253 00:11:25,706 --> 00:11:28,207 How's that figure, you stupid mama? 254 00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:29,875 I'm sorry mama. 255 00:11:33,681 --> 00:11:35,881 I-I-I can't get into this right now. 256 00:11:35,916 --> 00:11:38,383 You can't tear down my tree father. 257 00:11:38,419 --> 00:11:40,185 I can't stop it. 258 00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:42,554 I'm drowning in bulldozer invoices. 259 00:11:42,556 --> 00:11:44,439 I'm supposed to keep the yellow copy, 260 00:11:44,475 --> 00:11:45,808 but the purple one's prettier. 261 00:11:48,479 --> 00:11:51,230 What can I do for you today, little buddy? 262 00:11:51,282 --> 00:11:53,782 You want to do something about that skin? 263 00:11:53,818 --> 00:11:57,369 I'm here because it's come to my attention that I am not growing. 264 00:11:57,404 --> 00:12:00,606 You want to know the secret to growing? 265 00:12:00,641 --> 00:12:02,808 Get lots of sleep, eat lots of veggies, 266 00:12:02,843 --> 00:12:04,910 and always remember your inner worth, 267 00:12:04,945 --> 00:12:07,613 'cause that'll make you feel 10 feet tall. 268 00:12:07,648 --> 00:12:08,881 Oh. 269 00:12:08,916 --> 00:12:10,415 Klaus made it sound like 270 00:12:10,451 --> 00:12:12,417 you might have more immediate solutions. 271 00:12:12,419 --> 00:12:13,719 You know Klaus? 272 00:12:13,754 --> 00:12:18,857 That changes everything. 273 00:12:18,893 --> 00:12:21,860 Much can be done about your height. 274 00:12:21,896 --> 00:12:26,899 Are you familiar with the abominable sciences? 275 00:12:28,636 --> 00:12:31,603 There's bone splicing, giraffe marrow transplant. 276 00:12:31,605 --> 00:12:34,773 I could boil your brain in gorilla hormones. 277 00:12:34,775 --> 00:12:36,975 I also have unorthodox options. 278 00:12:37,011 --> 00:12:39,611 For instance, I could have your soul 279 00:12:39,613 --> 00:12:42,314 put into the body of something taller. 280 00:12:42,349 --> 00:12:46,385 How comfortable are you with the serpent god Oxumaré? 281 00:12:46,420 --> 00:12:47,986 Not super comfortable. 282 00:12:48,022 --> 00:12:50,539 We'll stick to surgery, then! 283 00:12:50,591 --> 00:12:52,708 I'd like to think on it. 284 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:54,960 What's there to think about? 285 00:12:54,995 --> 00:12:58,997 If B.B. King had come to me, he would have never died... 286 00:12:59,033 --> 00:13:01,333 at the height he was. 287 00:13:01,368 --> 00:13:03,518 The Carconi brothers are coming to tear you down. 288 00:13:03,554 --> 00:13:05,220 They're coming, 289 00:13:05,272 --> 00:13:07,773 and -- and I don't have any ideas about how to stop them. 290 00:13:12,363 --> 00:13:14,696 Get out of the way, you tree-hugging fruit. 291 00:13:14,732 --> 00:13:17,482 So, you think I'm a fruit, huh? 292 00:13:17,534 --> 00:13:20,986 Well, then a fruit I shall become. 293 00:13:21,038 --> 00:13:23,705 Oh, my God, Freddie, we can't chop down a tree 294 00:13:23,741 --> 00:13:25,490 with a homosexual man in it. 295 00:13:25,542 --> 00:13:26,959 Ugh, no. 296 00:13:26,994 --> 00:13:29,861 I made a gay slur, then he threw it back in my face 297 00:13:29,897 --> 00:13:32,598 by acting like the kind of fruit that grows on trees. 298 00:13:32,633 --> 00:13:35,400 Everybody thinks so fast. 299 00:13:37,804 --> 00:13:41,473 Stan Smith, remove yourself from the tree immediately. 300 00:13:41,509 --> 00:13:43,776 Not until you promise you won't cut it down. 301 00:13:43,811 --> 00:13:45,678 That's a great idea. 302 00:13:45,713 --> 00:13:48,580 I'll go and get on the roof of my store right -- 303 00:13:51,952 --> 00:13:53,786 I'm so sorry. 304 00:13:53,788 --> 00:13:56,455 Can I offer you a temporary tattoo? 305 00:13:56,507 --> 00:13:57,956 I'll get him down, Freddie. 306 00:13:58,009 --> 00:13:59,925 I know just how to play this guy. 307 00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:01,293 Please get down. 308 00:14:01,345 --> 00:14:03,679 Freddie says the budget's so tight 309 00:14:03,714 --> 00:14:05,798 that if you delay us just seven days, 310 00:14:05,850 --> 00:14:08,934 the whole thing'll be canceled, saving your stupid tree. 311 00:14:08,969 --> 00:14:10,686 Seven days? 312 00:14:10,721 --> 00:14:13,305 I can do that for my tree dad. 313 00:14:13,307 --> 00:14:14,973 Dumb Frankie. 314 00:14:14,975 --> 00:14:16,525 Dumb. Dumb. 315 00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:17,860 W-what are you, uh -- 316 00:14:17,895 --> 00:14:19,978 w-what do you get out of this Frankie thing? 317 00:14:19,980 --> 00:14:22,698 Actually, I get some great intel for Fikowski Asphalt. 318 00:14:22,733 --> 00:14:24,867 It's me, Dom Fikowski. 319 00:14:24,902 --> 00:14:27,569 You'll never make it a week. 320 00:15:49,403 --> 00:15:52,404 Dr. Kalgary, I've decided I -- Oh, you're with a patient. 321 00:15:52,456 --> 00:15:54,740 It's just Billy. He's part of the program. 322 00:15:54,792 --> 00:15:56,708 One of my success stories. 323 00:15:56,744 --> 00:15:59,461 I used to be six inches tall. 324 00:15:59,497 --> 00:16:01,814 Now I'm daddy's favorite. 325 00:16:01,849 --> 00:16:04,049 Look at me walk. 326 00:16:04,084 --> 00:16:06,585 Oh, my God. 327 00:16:06,620 --> 00:16:10,422 W-well, despite...this, I still want the operation. 328 00:16:10,424 --> 00:16:11,807 I need to grow. 329 00:16:11,842 --> 00:16:13,475 Wonderful! 330 00:16:13,511 --> 00:16:16,094 You'll be able to look over any stall in the men's room 331 00:16:16,147 --> 00:16:17,980 and see what's happening. 332 00:16:18,015 --> 00:16:20,666 Hooray. 333 00:16:24,538 --> 00:16:26,438 It's coming to the end of day 7 in -- 334 00:16:26,474 --> 00:16:28,073 Oop, that weird Carconi brother 335 00:16:28,108 --> 00:16:30,609 who's always telling everyone he's an honorary firefighter 336 00:16:30,661 --> 00:16:31,944 is approaching the tree now. 337 00:16:31,946 --> 00:16:34,112 Well, Freddie says once the sun sets, 338 00:16:34,114 --> 00:16:35,948 we got to send the crew home. 339 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,699 That means the stadium's dead 340 00:16:37,751 --> 00:16:40,419 and he's not gonna take me to Mountain Mike's Pizza. 341 00:16:40,454 --> 00:16:43,088 And it's the sauciest pizza. 342 00:16:44,124 --> 00:16:46,124 Oh, my sweet flesh family. 343 00:16:46,126 --> 00:16:48,794 Come, be with me in my hour of triumph. 344 00:16:48,796 --> 00:16:50,546 Honey, you've blown me away 345 00:16:50,598 --> 00:16:52,931 with your commitment to this hunger strike. 346 00:16:52,967 --> 00:16:54,800 It wasn't supposed to be a hunger strike. 347 00:16:54,852 --> 00:16:56,435 I kept asking you to bring me food. 348 00:16:56,470 --> 00:16:58,053 But I stood strong. 349 00:16:58,105 --> 00:17:01,390 Hayley, who would have thought that between the two of us, 350 00:17:01,442 --> 00:17:03,475 I'd be the first one to save a tree? 351 00:17:03,527 --> 00:17:04,810 I've saved lots of trees. 352 00:17:04,862 --> 00:17:06,812 I'm sorry. You're right, sweetie. 353 00:17:06,814 --> 00:17:10,115 Not ever buying or reading books is also a way of saving trees. 354 00:17:10,150 --> 00:17:11,617 Where's Steve? 355 00:17:11,652 --> 00:17:13,118 Yeah, where is Steve? 356 00:17:13,153 --> 00:17:14,653 Oh, you guys don't know? 357 00:17:14,705 --> 00:17:17,039 Steve's with my associate, Dr. Kalgary, 358 00:17:17,074 --> 00:17:19,157 about to undergo an irreversible, 359 00:17:19,210 --> 00:17:21,994 fabulously risky, height-boosting procedure. 360 00:17:21,996 --> 00:17:23,495 What? What? 361 00:17:23,497 --> 00:17:24,997 Steve will be sliced into pieces, 362 00:17:24,999 --> 00:17:26,582 and when he's reassembled, 363 00:17:26,634 --> 00:17:28,584 he'll be exactly like the boy you remember, 364 00:17:28,636 --> 00:17:32,137 only taller and with a lot more bones... 365 00:17:32,172 --> 00:17:33,555 if he lives. 366 00:17:33,591 --> 00:17:34,840 Oh, God. 367 00:17:34,892 --> 00:17:37,092 Why would Steve do something like this? 368 00:17:37,144 --> 00:17:39,478 Wait, does he think he stopped growing? 369 00:17:39,513 --> 00:17:41,813 Yeah, that's right. I know what this is about. 370 00:17:41,849 --> 00:17:44,016 You do? Yep. 371 00:17:44,068 --> 00:17:46,101 Well? 372 00:17:46,153 --> 00:17:49,438 It's sounds like he could use some guidance, Stan. 373 00:17:49,490 --> 00:17:51,573 I agree. But for whatever reason, 374 00:17:51,609 --> 00:17:53,742 he never developed a relationship with a tree. 375 00:17:53,777 --> 00:17:55,027 Poor kid. 376 00:17:55,029 --> 00:17:58,196 I think you can be his tree. 377 00:17:58,198 --> 00:18:00,866 A human tree father. 378 00:18:00,918 --> 00:18:02,584 It sounds so stupid. 379 00:18:02,620 --> 00:18:06,171 But to hell with how it sounds. Steve needs me. 380 00:18:09,043 --> 00:18:12,544 But if I leave to save him, they're gonna cut you down. 381 00:18:16,717 --> 00:18:20,218 You're right. Steve's my responsibility now. 382 00:18:20,220 --> 00:18:22,471 You're still teaching me. 383 00:18:22,523 --> 00:18:25,691 I guess...this is goodbye. 384 00:18:27,144 --> 00:18:29,278 I love you, tree daddy. 385 00:18:31,899 --> 00:18:33,231 He's gone! 386 00:18:33,233 --> 00:18:35,651 Frankie gets the pizza. 387 00:18:38,872 --> 00:18:40,572 # The surgeon cuts at night # 388 00:18:40,624 --> 00:18:43,125 # the surgeon cuts at night # 389 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,160 # I'm gonna cut you, Steve # 390 00:18:45,212 --> 00:18:48,163 # I'm gonna cut you right 391 00:18:48,215 --> 00:18:51,083 Actually, uh, you know, I think I've changed my mi-- 392 00:18:51,085 --> 00:18:52,834 Oh. 393 00:18:52,886 --> 00:18:55,554 They always get cold feet. 394 00:18:55,589 --> 00:18:58,924 And I'll always cut them off. 395 00:19:01,228 --> 00:19:03,662 Aah! 396 00:19:12,606 --> 00:19:15,691 Oh, my God. I'm so tall. 397 00:19:15,743 --> 00:19:17,526 It's gonna take some getting used to. 398 00:19:17,578 --> 00:19:19,578 Aaaaah! 399 00:19:19,613 --> 00:19:21,780 Aaaaaah! 400 00:19:21,782 --> 00:19:24,249 Look out, Steve. I made things worse for you. 401 00:19:24,284 --> 00:19:26,201 Hold on, son. I can climb up. 402 00:19:26,253 --> 00:19:28,787 Someone taught me how. 403 00:19:28,789 --> 00:19:30,038 Dad, get it together! 404 00:19:30,090 --> 00:19:31,923 Coming. 405 00:19:37,598 --> 00:19:40,966 Aaaah! 406 00:19:42,269 --> 00:19:43,935 You're here. 407 00:19:43,971 --> 00:19:45,303 Of course I am. 408 00:19:45,356 --> 00:19:47,189 It's what dads do. 409 00:19:47,224 --> 00:19:50,692 Even when their kid's a stupid shorty? 410 00:19:50,728 --> 00:19:53,311 Steve, there's something I have to show you. 411 00:19:55,115 --> 00:19:56,565 The fuzz! 412 00:19:56,617 --> 00:19:59,985 Time to see if your wings work, Billy! 413 00:20:04,074 --> 00:20:06,041 Run, Billy! 414 00:20:09,963 --> 00:20:11,329 When I was a boy, 415 00:20:11,365 --> 00:20:13,632 I used to carve my height here on the bark. 416 00:20:13,667 --> 00:20:15,867 This extra-deep one is from a few years 417 00:20:15,903 --> 00:20:17,302 where I didn't grow at all. 418 00:20:17,337 --> 00:20:19,737 It's called the Smith Stall. 419 00:20:19,857 --> 00:20:22,149 Eventually I shot up 6 inches. 420 00:20:22,269 --> 00:20:23,794 So I will get tall. 421 00:20:24,355 --> 00:20:25,470 And even if I didn't... 422 00:20:25,590 --> 00:20:27,177 it doesn't matter, because... 423 00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:29,339 I have a dad who loves me. 424 00:20:30,583 --> 00:20:32,011 You're gonna get tall. 425 00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:32,768 So, 426 00:20:32,991 --> 00:20:34,827 this tree, what was like a... 427 00:20:35,218 --> 00:20:37,639 dad to you? 428 00:20:37,759 --> 00:20:39,600 I know, we both miss him. 429 00:20:39,884 --> 00:20:42,273 But he goes on now to a greater purpose. 430 00:20:42,393 --> 00:20:45,682 May his timber bring shelter to a deserving soul. 431 00:20:53,926 --> 00:20:55,776 Please, don't cut down this tree! 432 00:20:55,896 --> 00:20:57,305 It's like a father to me! 433 00:20:57,425 --> 00:20:58,369 The world... 434 00:20:58,821 --> 00:21:00,074 needs... 435 00:21:00,379 --> 00:21:02,345 axe-handles!