1 00:00:04,617 --> 00:00:08,753 What do people think of when they think of Germany? 2 00:00:08,788 --> 00:00:11,822 Uh... 3 00:00:11,858 --> 00:00:12,916 The Holocau-- 4 00:00:13,036 --> 00:00:15,712 Hazelnut omelets! Exactly! 5 00:00:15,829 --> 00:00:18,797 And the next batch is almost... 6 00:00:18,849 --> 00:00:20,862 Oh, god. The Roomba heard that. 7 00:00:20,982 --> 00:00:22,070 Nobody move! 8 00:00:32,563 --> 00:00:35,614 And none of us remember buying that? 9 00:00:35,649 --> 00:00:38,050 So there's a new web program called Facebook. 10 00:00:38,540 --> 00:00:41,107 It's the most efficient way to wish people happy birthday. 11 00:00:43,011 --> 00:00:44,344 What? Why are you snickering? 12 00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:45,945 Dad, Facebook's, like, 13 00:00:45,981 --> 00:00:47,869 the oldest web site in the world. 14 00:00:47,989 --> 00:00:49,777 Francine, you missed a couple hazelnuts. 15 00:00:49,897 --> 00:00:50,854 Some went under the fridge. 16 00:00:50,974 --> 00:00:53,013 I know some went under the fridge, Klaus. 17 00:00:53,114 --> 00:00:55,315 That's why I'm sweeping under the fridge. 18 00:00:55,350 --> 00:00:56,549 I'd like to join Facebook, 19 00:00:56,584 --> 00:00:58,550 but my work computer won't let me. 20 00:00:58,670 --> 00:01:00,270 I hit the "enter" key as hard as I could, 21 00:01:00,305 --> 00:01:01,704 but even that didn't work. 22 00:01:01,740 --> 00:01:03,206 Can you have a look at my "enter" key? 23 00:01:03,241 --> 00:01:04,607 Dad, your keyboard's fine. 24 00:01:04,643 --> 00:01:06,142 I mean, you broke your "enter" key, 25 00:01:06,177 --> 00:01:08,144 but that's not the problem. There's probably a firewall. 26 00:01:08,179 --> 00:01:10,013 Just download Ultrasurf, unzip the software, 27 00:01:10,048 --> 00:01:11,748 put the executable on a flash drive -- 28 00:01:11,783 --> 00:01:13,550 Wait, let's back up a bit. 29 00:01:13,602 --> 00:01:15,818 Where does my computer go when I'm asleep? 30 00:01:15,854 --> 00:01:17,554 Okay, not to be a nag, 31 00:01:17,556 --> 00:01:19,806 but I think if you just sweep with less of a wide motion 32 00:01:19,858 --> 00:01:21,140 and more of a -- 33 00:01:21,192 --> 00:01:22,859 You know what, Klaus? 34 00:01:22,894 --> 00:01:25,562 If you want your precious hazelnuts, you sweep 'em up. 35 00:01:25,564 --> 00:01:28,698 Ew, we all heard that. 36 00:01:28,733 --> 00:01:31,100 Tense. 37 00:01:31,136 --> 00:01:33,169 Dad, why don't you just bring me to work with you? 38 00:01:33,204 --> 00:01:34,954 I'll set your computer up. 39 00:01:34,990 --> 00:01:37,807 Hmm. You hanging around all my badass colleagues. 40 00:01:37,842 --> 00:01:39,242 I don't know. 41 00:01:39,277 --> 00:01:41,446 Dad, I won't embarrass you. 42 00:01:41,566 --> 00:01:43,780 You know what? Maybe it'll be good for you. 43 00:01:43,815 --> 00:01:45,298 Yes! You'll wear pants. 44 00:01:45,333 --> 00:01:47,447 I have the perfect pair of khakis from... 45 00:01:47,567 --> 00:01:49,886 Petite Sophisticate. 46 00:01:49,921 --> 00:01:51,971 Of course you do. 47 00:01:52,591 --> 00:01:55,558 Awesome! I get to miss the rope climb in gym class. 48 00:01:55,678 --> 00:01:58,311 Not only are my arms too weak to pull myself up, 49 00:01:58,346 --> 00:02:00,096 but I don't like the feeling the rope makes 50 00:02:00,098 --> 00:02:01,598 as it rubs against my genitals... 51 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:03,700 until I do like it. 52 00:02:03,735 --> 00:02:07,937 Steve, wait! You haven't tried -- 53 00:02:07,939 --> 00:02:13,026 Okay, Klaus, I will try one of your hazel whatevers. 54 00:02:13,078 --> 00:02:16,079 Mmm! This is really good. What's in it? 55 00:02:16,114 --> 00:02:18,748 Hazelnut, butter, eggs, veal, milk. 56 00:02:18,817 --> 00:02:20,183 I use whole milk. Some people -- 57 00:02:20,218 --> 00:02:22,785 Wait. Veal?! There's meat in this? 58 00:02:22,787 --> 00:02:25,672 For thickening. You know what they say -- 59 00:02:25,707 --> 00:02:27,090 you can't make 60 00:02:27,125 --> 00:02:30,026 hazelnussomeletten without kinderkuhfleische. 61 00:02:30,061 --> 00:02:33,162 Klaus! I haven't meat in over a year! 62 00:02:35,050 --> 00:02:38,034 How do you like yours, Roger? 63 00:02:38,069 --> 00:02:40,703 Ah, it's great, it's great. 64 00:02:40,739 --> 00:02:43,106 ♪ 65 00:02:43,141 --> 00:02:45,858 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. 66 00:02:45,894 --> 00:02:49,145 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 67 00:02:49,197 --> 00:02:52,231 ♪ the sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 68 00:02:52,283 --> 00:02:56,703 ♪ and he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪ 69 00:02:58,456 --> 00:03:01,658 ♪ oh, boy, it's swell to say 70 00:03:01,660 --> 00:03:03,993 ♪ Good -- ♪ good morning, U.S.A. 71 00:03:13,138 --> 00:03:14,704 Wow, this is cool. 72 00:03:14,739 --> 00:03:17,206 Dad, you think I could be in the C.I.A. someday? 73 00:03:17,242 --> 00:03:19,008 I don't know, son. 74 00:03:19,010 --> 00:03:20,727 The C.I.A. is all about guys who can do stuff like this. 75 00:03:22,063 --> 00:03:23,813 Whoa, that was awesome! 76 00:03:23,848 --> 00:03:26,349 Jim is an old friend. 77 00:03:26,351 --> 00:03:29,102 It's Carl. 78 00:03:31,439 --> 00:03:35,024 You see what those jackoffs did? 79 00:03:35,076 --> 00:03:36,359 They've blocked my view! 80 00:03:36,361 --> 00:03:38,244 It's a strong word, but it's appropriate. 81 00:03:38,279 --> 00:03:39,862 Those jackoffs! 82 00:03:39,864 --> 00:03:41,364 Who? Who are the jackoffs? 83 00:03:41,416 --> 00:03:45,935 Our number one rival -- the National Security Agency. 84 00:03:45,970 --> 00:03:47,804 Spy on this, nerds! 85 00:03:49,474 --> 00:03:50,993 Aren't you guys on the same team? 86 00:03:51,113 --> 00:03:53,367 Steve, let me show you an informative film. 87 00:03:53,487 --> 00:03:55,311 The C.I.A. began as 88 00:03:55,346 --> 00:03:57,046 the office of strategic services. 89 00:03:57,082 --> 00:03:58,815 Recognize the voice? 90 00:03:58,850 --> 00:04:00,266 ...founded by "Wild Bill" Donovan 91 00:04:00,301 --> 00:04:02,769 whose courage and overall badass-ery 92 00:04:02,804 --> 00:04:04,103 helped win World War II. 93 00:04:04,139 --> 00:04:07,390 Have you figured it out? It's a famous actor. 94 00:04:07,442 --> 00:04:09,192 "Sling Blade"? 95 00:04:09,227 --> 00:04:11,811 He was everything a C.I.A. agent should be -- 96 00:04:11,863 --> 00:04:14,197 a brave, big-chinned tough guy. 97 00:04:14,232 --> 00:04:15,898 Oh, it's Billy Bob Thornton. 98 00:04:15,950 --> 00:04:17,283 Yeah! Couple of the guys got to meet him. 99 00:04:17,318 --> 00:04:18,901 They said he was pretty cool. 100 00:04:18,953 --> 00:04:21,287 And though we've had our failures... 101 00:04:23,792 --> 00:04:25,958 ...we've won our nation's trust, 102 00:04:25,994 --> 00:04:27,910 and we kept that bastard Fidel Castro 103 00:04:27,962 --> 00:04:29,962 from getting his hands on America. 104 00:04:29,998 --> 00:04:32,749 Then someone decided the American taxpayers 105 00:04:32,751 --> 00:04:35,218 should foot the bill for more government, 106 00:04:35,253 --> 00:04:38,254 and the National Security Agency was born. 107 00:04:38,306 --> 00:04:41,309 They secretly monitor all kinds of communication, 108 00:04:41,429 --> 00:04:45,061 including the phone calls of American citizens. 109 00:04:45,096 --> 00:04:46,979 We fight over how much of the federal budget 110 00:04:47,015 --> 00:04:48,514 we should each get. 111 00:04:48,566 --> 00:04:51,901 Last year, those jackoffs cost us a ping pong table. 112 00:04:51,936 --> 00:04:54,270 Now our game room only has four games. 113 00:04:54,272 --> 00:04:56,856 When I grow up, I wanna work here with you, dad. 114 00:04:56,908 --> 00:04:58,825 Not if you're sleeping on the double bank. 115 00:04:58,860 --> 00:05:03,279 All right. 1 to 9. 116 00:05:07,937 --> 00:05:09,403 Sorry, toilet. 117 00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:12,440 I know you've been a vegetarian as long as I have. 118 00:05:12,475 --> 00:05:14,291 Oh, enough. 119 00:05:14,344 --> 00:05:17,678 Be honest. It was delicious coming up, wasn't it, Hayley? 120 00:05:17,714 --> 00:05:21,182 What? No! I -- I'm a committed vegetarian. 121 00:05:21,217 --> 00:05:23,217 Wasn't it, Hayley? 122 00:05:23,219 --> 00:05:25,920 Fine, fine! It was delicious! 123 00:05:25,955 --> 00:05:28,122 Listen, it's great that you're a vegetarian. 124 00:05:28,157 --> 00:05:29,557 But you know that movie "The Purge"? 125 00:05:29,635 --> 00:05:31,425 Is that the movie where those girls go shopping? 126 00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:33,394 No, Hayley, you're thinking of "The Splurge," 127 00:05:33,429 --> 00:05:34,862 my unproduced screenplay, 128 00:05:34,897 --> 00:05:36,130 and I told you not to speak of it 129 00:05:36,165 --> 00:05:39,500 because people steal great ideas. 130 00:05:39,958 --> 00:05:42,492 What you need is a vegetarian purge -- 131 00:05:42,528 --> 00:05:45,162 one day a year when you go crazy on meat. 132 00:05:45,197 --> 00:05:47,564 No. That violates all the principles -- 133 00:05:52,254 --> 00:05:54,171 Think it over. I'll be in your bath. 134 00:05:54,223 --> 00:05:55,889 I'm not actually gonna clean myself. 135 00:05:55,924 --> 00:05:58,475 I just like to sit on the drain while it empties. 136 00:05:58,510 --> 00:06:00,581 Now you share something crazy about you. 137 00:06:03,849 --> 00:06:06,850 Okay, I culled your bloatware, disabled running services. 138 00:06:06,902 --> 00:06:09,853 Did you know you were still using Netscape navigator? 139 00:06:09,888 --> 00:06:11,321 I use these! 140 00:06:11,356 --> 00:06:14,407 Time for lunch, Smith. Ah, your son. 141 00:06:14,443 --> 00:06:16,526 Put her there, young man. 142 00:06:16,578 --> 00:06:18,912 Mr. Bullock, can I come to lunch with you guys? 143 00:06:18,947 --> 00:06:20,697 Hmm, with that limp handshake? 144 00:06:20,749 --> 00:06:22,699 Strength's not my speciality, but -- 145 00:06:22,701 --> 00:06:25,585 Yes, I'm not sure you should come with us to Applebee's. 146 00:06:25,621 --> 00:06:28,755 We have a reputation to uphold with our waitress, Trish. 147 00:06:28,790 --> 00:06:32,095 She's a single mother with sass to spare! 148 00:06:32,215 --> 00:06:33,215 Coming, Smith? 149 00:06:33,249 --> 00:06:36,755 Or do you have plans with Edward Sissyhands here? 150 00:06:39,284 --> 00:06:43,253 Steve will be good here. You still have work to do. 151 00:06:45,336 --> 00:06:47,891 Sorry about my goofball son, sir. 152 00:06:47,926 --> 00:06:49,392 His handshake grosses me out, too. 153 00:06:49,428 --> 00:06:52,596 Not exactly C.I.A. material. 154 00:06:59,004 --> 00:07:00,704 You convinced me. 155 00:07:00,739 --> 00:07:02,739 About what? Baths make me forgetful. 156 00:07:02,774 --> 00:07:05,342 That I might as well eat meat today. 157 00:07:05,377 --> 00:07:08,511 I still love it, and I really miss it. 158 00:07:08,547 --> 00:07:12,616 For the next 24 hours, Hayley Smith is a carnivore. 159 00:07:12,651 --> 00:07:14,751 I want to eat a cheeseburger. 160 00:07:14,753 --> 00:07:16,753 Ow! Too hard. 161 00:07:19,424 --> 00:07:22,425 Stupid dad. Not C.I.A. material? 162 00:07:22,427 --> 00:07:24,561 So what if I can't shake a hand right? 163 00:07:24,596 --> 00:07:26,646 Let's see what happens when I refuse to update your adobe. 164 00:07:26,682 --> 00:07:27,898 No, no, that's too much. 165 00:07:27,933 --> 00:07:29,516 Every Adobe update is critical 166 00:07:29,568 --> 00:07:31,484 and should be installed immediately. 167 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,003 But stupid dad! 168 00:07:36,341 --> 00:07:38,475 Who's watching me? 169 00:07:50,455 --> 00:07:51,855 Who are you? 170 00:07:51,890 --> 00:07:53,957 A guy who knows that Amanda Duquette digs you. 171 00:07:54,072 --> 00:07:56,639 And no shame in that. She's a solid six. 172 00:07:56,674 --> 00:07:59,976 Sixes and fives -- that's where the bargains are. 173 00:08:00,011 --> 00:08:01,277 How do you know about Amanda? 174 00:08:01,312 --> 00:08:02,478 Oh, sorry. I'm Nat. 175 00:08:02,513 --> 00:08:05,147 I work for the National Security Agency. 176 00:08:05,183 --> 00:08:08,417 We saw what you were doing with your dad's computer, 177 00:08:08,453 --> 00:08:11,621 and we think you, Steve Smith, are N.S.A. material. 178 00:08:11,656 --> 00:08:15,491 Really? Hey, do you ever listen to my conversations with snot? 179 00:08:15,526 --> 00:08:17,126 We're the N.S.A. 180 00:08:17,161 --> 00:08:19,362 We got better things to do than listen 181 00:08:19,397 --> 00:08:21,263 to two confused kids flirt with each other. 182 00:08:21,299 --> 00:08:23,399 What a relief. 183 00:08:28,033 --> 00:08:30,317 Your dad ditched you to go to Applebee's with his friends. 184 00:08:30,369 --> 00:08:32,035 How'd you know that? 185 00:08:32,071 --> 00:08:37,441 We're the N.S.A. We know who goes to Applebee's. 186 00:08:37,476 --> 00:08:38,942 See, we don't learn stuff 187 00:08:38,978 --> 00:08:40,820 the dumb, old-fashioned C.I.A. way. 188 00:08:40,940 --> 00:08:42,607 We use our heads here. 189 00:08:42,642 --> 00:08:44,064 Come on. Let me show you a movie. 190 00:08:44,197 --> 00:08:46,464 I'm watching a lot of movies today. 191 00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:48,149 World War II wasn't won by jocks. 192 00:08:48,201 --> 00:08:51,453 It was won by nerds. 193 00:08:51,488 --> 00:08:53,154 We built the first computers 194 00:08:53,206 --> 00:08:56,374 and broke the Japanese and German codes. 195 00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:58,743 Now this one I got. That's George Takei. 196 00:08:58,745 --> 00:09:01,079 A single N.S.A. computer 197 00:09:01,131 --> 00:09:04,582 does more than a hundred C.I.A. agents. 198 00:09:04,634 --> 00:09:07,502 We monitor the world's communications. 199 00:09:07,554 --> 00:09:12,090 If you're talking, the N.S.A. is listening. 200 00:09:12,092 --> 00:09:13,475 That's what keeps America safe. 201 00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:15,310 That was George Takei. 202 00:09:15,345 --> 00:09:17,061 Yeah, I said that already. 203 00:09:17,097 --> 00:09:19,147 Sorry, I can't hear anything when I'm munching my corns. 204 00:09:21,768 --> 00:09:23,268 Mmm! 205 00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:25,603 Oh! Shh! 206 00:09:25,639 --> 00:09:28,440 Oh, I'm so disgusted with myself, 207 00:09:28,475 --> 00:09:30,842 but I can't stop eating this. 208 00:09:30,877 --> 00:09:32,744 What did I say? You would love it. 209 00:09:32,779 --> 00:09:34,496 And what happened? You love it! 210 00:09:34,531 --> 00:09:36,448 Oh, we're not stopping here, Roger. 211 00:09:36,483 --> 00:09:38,817 If I'm having a meat day, I'm going all the way. 212 00:09:38,852 --> 00:09:41,619 I want to get weird. You mean... 213 00:09:41,655 --> 00:09:44,422 Roger, take me to Koreatown. 214 00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:46,691 Take you? I mean, can we just go to Koreatown? 215 00:09:46,726 --> 00:09:48,793 What's gonna happen? I'm gonna be driving, 216 00:09:48,829 --> 00:09:50,595 and you're gonna sit in the back? 217 00:09:50,630 --> 00:09:52,897 I'm glad your son didn't ruin our lunch. 218 00:09:52,933 --> 00:09:55,633 It would've revolted me to see his limp wrist 219 00:09:55,669 --> 00:09:57,469 holding up a chicken tender. 220 00:09:57,504 --> 00:09:58,837 And Trish! What would Trish think? 221 00:09:58,872 --> 00:10:00,472 Arm strength isn't his thing. 222 00:10:00,507 --> 00:10:02,474 Steve will find his thing, I don't know, 223 00:10:02,509 --> 00:10:04,175 working on a computer someplace, like... 224 00:10:04,211 --> 00:10:05,643 ♪ Doop be doop be doop 225 00:10:05,679 --> 00:10:08,613 Nerds are like that. 226 00:10:08,648 --> 00:10:10,248 ♪ Doop be doop be doop 227 00:10:10,283 --> 00:10:12,150 That's not how I talk! 228 00:10:12,185 --> 00:10:14,285 I don't say... ♪ Doop be doop be doop 229 00:10:14,321 --> 00:10:16,654 you guys are watching them all the time? 230 00:10:16,690 --> 00:10:18,389 Yeah, the more dirt we get on them, 231 00:10:18,425 --> 00:10:20,191 the more of their budget we can take. 232 00:10:20,227 --> 00:10:21,759 We've been trying to get on to your dad's computer, 233 00:10:21,795 --> 00:10:23,461 but we can't figure out where he keeps his files. 234 00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:26,431 ♪ Doop be doop be doop 235 00:10:26,466 --> 00:10:27,866 How is he still doing it? 236 00:10:27,901 --> 00:10:30,301 And how is he still getting laughs?! 237 00:10:34,774 --> 00:10:37,342 There you are. Hey, sorry about lunch, buddy. 238 00:10:37,377 --> 00:10:39,277 But thanks for setting up Facebook. 239 00:10:39,312 --> 00:10:40,778 Facebook...on! 240 00:10:40,814 --> 00:10:44,916 Notify my friends of my many accomplishments... on! 241 00:10:44,951 --> 00:10:46,818 I need to take your disks, okay? 242 00:10:46,853 --> 00:10:50,922 To get them... digitally cleaned. 243 00:10:50,957 --> 00:10:52,824 Should I get the whole computer cleaned? 244 00:10:52,859 --> 00:10:54,359 Would that make it happier? 245 00:10:54,394 --> 00:10:56,628 No. It doesn't feel anything. 246 00:10:56,663 --> 00:10:59,330 Sometimes I wish I was a computer. 247 00:10:59,366 --> 00:11:01,633 You sound a little ominous, Steve. 248 00:11:01,668 --> 00:11:02,867 Is everything okay? 249 00:11:02,903 --> 00:11:04,502 Yes, everything's fine. 250 00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:07,472 Cool! 251 00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:12,343 Eat it, Hayley. Eat it! 252 00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:23,221 Oh, my god. 253 00:11:23,273 --> 00:11:25,356 I could feel him fighting all the way down my throat. 254 00:11:25,392 --> 00:11:27,025 He did not wanna die. 255 00:11:27,060 --> 00:11:29,894 Hayley, what's your wildest fantasy? 256 00:11:29,930 --> 00:11:31,629 I've been kidnapped by three African guys, 257 00:11:31,665 --> 00:11:33,331 and while the whole village watches, 258 00:11:33,366 --> 00:11:36,367 their most powerful warrior demands that I disrobe. 259 00:11:36,403 --> 00:11:38,736 Whoa, okay, fascinating. Will return to. 260 00:11:38,772 --> 00:11:41,005 But I meant your wildest food fantasy. 261 00:11:41,041 --> 00:11:43,775 I, uh... I don't know if I should say. 262 00:11:43,810 --> 00:11:45,743 Oh, this is gonna be good! 263 00:11:46,980 --> 00:11:49,647 I've always wanted to eat a gorilla -- 264 00:11:49,683 --> 00:11:52,383 a gorilla that can speak sign language. 265 00:11:52,419 --> 00:11:53,751 I wanna eat its brain. 266 00:11:53,803 --> 00:11:56,471 Oh, that is truly horrifying. 267 00:11:56,506 --> 00:11:59,991 Oh, I'm disgusted! You should be disgusted. 268 00:12:00,026 --> 00:12:03,394 But I do know a guy. 269 00:12:05,865 --> 00:12:07,565 I can't believe this. 270 00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:09,634 The C.I.A. would be stupid to store their data this way. 271 00:12:09,669 --> 00:12:10,902 They are stupids! 272 00:12:10,937 --> 00:12:12,704 Oh, with what's on here, 273 00:12:12,739 --> 00:12:15,273 we could take them down! There won't even be a C.I.A. 274 00:12:15,308 --> 00:12:16,941 Wait, that seems a tad strong. 275 00:12:16,977 --> 00:12:18,443 You don't get a vote. 276 00:12:18,478 --> 00:12:20,044 I thought I was N.S.A. material. 277 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:23,781 Not anymore. You're what we call a "discarded asset." 278 00:12:23,833 --> 00:12:25,283 Later, traitor. 279 00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:35,293 Sorry, gotta swipe you out of this door, too. 280 00:12:35,345 --> 00:12:37,662 That'll get you as far as the cafeteria. 281 00:12:37,697 --> 00:12:39,330 Someone there will have to swipe you to the garage. 282 00:12:39,366 --> 00:12:41,065 Then you can just walk up the ramp. 283 00:12:41,101 --> 00:12:43,034 Technically, you have to swipe at the top, 284 00:12:43,069 --> 00:12:44,469 but it's just one of those arm gates, 285 00:12:44,504 --> 00:12:48,039 so you can just duck under it. Uh, bye! 286 00:12:54,818 --> 00:12:58,102 Oh... 287 00:12:59,439 --> 00:13:03,074 The C.I.A. What happened to the C.I.A.? 288 00:13:03,109 --> 00:13:07,353 Hush, papa. The C.I.A. is gone. It's been gone for a long time. 289 00:13:07,473 --> 00:13:11,203 Who betrayed me? Someone betrayed me. 290 00:13:11,310 --> 00:13:13,143 Well, I did it. 291 00:13:13,145 --> 00:13:16,146 I provided food for the family. 292 00:13:16,198 --> 00:13:17,397 It's Klaus. 293 00:13:17,449 --> 00:13:19,016 But... But... 294 00:13:19,051 --> 00:13:22,319 We can't afford tartar sauce! 295 00:13:26,208 --> 00:13:29,413 Well, I guess I'd better go to my job as a stripper. 296 00:13:35,904 --> 00:13:37,069 What's happened? 297 00:13:37,189 --> 00:13:38,635 With your C.I.A. gone, 298 00:13:38,671 --> 00:13:40,671 it was easy for Cuba to invade United States. 299 00:13:40,673 --> 00:13:43,423 All hail Fidel! 300 00:13:43,475 --> 00:13:45,938 What a horrible nightmare. 301 00:13:46,058 --> 00:13:48,061 And why did I include that extra part 302 00:13:48,097 --> 00:13:50,230 where I actually saw mom stripping? 303 00:13:50,266 --> 00:13:52,182 One problem at a time. 304 00:13:53,569 --> 00:13:56,854 Dad. Dad, wake up. I did something terrible. 305 00:13:56,974 --> 00:13:58,140 I was snooping on you, 306 00:13:58,192 --> 00:14:00,025 and I heard what you said about me. 307 00:14:00,061 --> 00:14:02,394 And I got so mad I betrayed you to the N.S.A. 308 00:14:02,446 --> 00:14:03,696 N.S.A.? 309 00:14:03,731 --> 00:14:04,947 I gave them all your floppy disks, 310 00:14:04,982 --> 00:14:06,398 and they're gonna use them 311 00:14:06,450 --> 00:14:07,866 to put the C.I.A. out of business! 312 00:14:07,902 --> 00:14:10,402 I feel so awful. How can I make this up to you? 313 00:14:10,454 --> 00:14:12,371 I'm afraid that's impossible, son. 314 00:14:12,406 --> 00:14:14,873 Wha... No! Papa, please! 315 00:14:14,909 --> 00:14:18,410 Remember when you and I built that fort out in the woods? 316 00:14:18,412 --> 00:14:21,080 I'd suggest you go live in that fort, Steve. 317 00:14:21,132 --> 00:14:23,632 No traitors can live under my roof. 318 00:14:23,668 --> 00:14:26,585 Can -- can I say goodbye to mom? 319 00:14:27,838 --> 00:14:31,423 That's her waving goodbye, Steve. 320 00:14:33,477 --> 00:14:37,096 I'm on my own... maybe forever. 321 00:14:40,818 --> 00:14:44,653 I should probably wait to eat my snacks. 322 00:14:44,689 --> 00:14:46,689 I'll just put 'em where I can see 'em. 323 00:14:57,668 --> 00:15:00,252 So y'all wanna eat a signing gorilla? 324 00:15:00,288 --> 00:15:01,954 We got one. Mittens! 325 00:15:07,128 --> 00:15:09,428 You got the money? 326 00:15:09,463 --> 00:15:12,848 All right. You folks think about wine pairings. 327 00:15:17,021 --> 00:15:18,554 Are we okay with this? 328 00:15:18,606 --> 00:15:20,889 After today, I am never eating meat again. 329 00:15:20,941 --> 00:15:22,474 But I'm going out on top. 330 00:15:22,476 --> 00:15:24,560 No, I mean, are we okay with wine? 331 00:15:24,612 --> 00:15:26,979 I've always heard beer with gorilla brain. 332 00:15:34,822 --> 00:15:36,488 Why did I betray my dad? 333 00:15:36,490 --> 00:15:38,707 And why did I eat all my snacks? 334 00:15:38,743 --> 00:15:41,160 You'll always have snacks as long as I'm around. 335 00:15:41,212 --> 00:15:42,628 Dad! 336 00:15:42,663 --> 00:15:44,830 Steve, I was hurt you betrayed me. 337 00:15:44,832 --> 00:15:47,082 But now I can see where it came from. 338 00:15:47,134 --> 00:15:48,667 I was just so mad. 339 00:15:48,719 --> 00:15:51,136 You told your friends I wasn't C.I.A. material! 340 00:15:51,172 --> 00:15:53,255 And then I turned out not to be! 341 00:15:53,307 --> 00:15:55,924 Whoa, buck up, son. I'm sorry I said that. 342 00:15:55,976 --> 00:15:57,509 And I was wrong, anyway. 343 00:15:57,561 --> 00:15:59,595 I mean, you figured out my plan. 344 00:15:59,647 --> 00:16:01,096 You're right. I... Your plan? 345 00:16:01,148 --> 00:16:03,482 You knew I'd never kick you out of the house. 346 00:16:03,517 --> 00:16:05,768 I just needed to get you somewhere where I knew 347 00:16:05,820 --> 00:16:07,569 the N.S.A. couldn't snoop on us. 348 00:16:07,605 --> 00:16:09,071 Right. Your plan. 349 00:16:09,106 --> 00:16:12,691 That's why I could afford to eat all my snacks right away. 350 00:16:12,693 --> 00:16:15,077 I didn't have to play the long game. 351 00:16:17,748 --> 00:16:19,998 Now, where do you think my disks are? 352 00:16:20,034 --> 00:16:22,000 Forget the disks. They've uploaded the data. 353 00:16:22,036 --> 00:16:24,002 They won't be clouded yet, not secure enough. 354 00:16:24,038 --> 00:16:27,039 But it will be somewhere backed up on their server farm. 355 00:16:27,041 --> 00:16:28,841 Okay, I don't know what any of that means. 356 00:16:28,876 --> 00:16:30,676 The crucial thing is we get those disks back. 357 00:16:30,711 --> 00:16:32,544 How are we gonna get in there? 358 00:16:32,596 --> 00:16:35,547 They have triple lock, fingerprint encryption systems. 359 00:16:35,599 --> 00:16:36,882 Did you check the roof? 360 00:16:36,884 --> 00:16:38,050 Nerds never go up on the roof. 361 00:16:38,102 --> 00:16:39,852 'Cause of the sun. 362 00:16:44,141 --> 00:16:45,891 Come on, Steve! Follow me up! 363 00:16:45,943 --> 00:16:49,228 A rope climb? Dad, I can't do it! 364 00:16:49,230 --> 00:16:50,729 Sure, you can, Steve! 365 00:16:50,781 --> 00:16:53,232 I don't always say it, but I believe in you! 366 00:17:00,291 --> 00:17:03,709 I'm doing it! All by myself. 367 00:17:05,296 --> 00:17:06,829 Uh-oh. 368 00:17:06,881 --> 00:17:08,997 Here's where the rubbing starts to feel funny. 369 00:17:09,049 --> 00:17:11,049 This'll be a bad time for a boner. 370 00:17:11,085 --> 00:17:13,168 Don't think about the rope at school. 371 00:17:13,220 --> 00:17:15,671 Aah! 372 00:17:15,723 --> 00:17:18,173 I did it! Go home? 373 00:17:18,225 --> 00:17:20,058 Job's not done, son. 374 00:17:23,764 --> 00:17:28,016 Well, isn't this cute? Father and son. 375 00:17:28,068 --> 00:17:29,935 Yeah, that's right. 376 00:17:29,937 --> 00:17:33,856 This is my dad, Stan Smith of the C.I.A. 377 00:17:33,908 --> 00:17:36,742 C.I.A.?! No, The-Theodore! 378 00:17:36,777 --> 00:17:38,777 Shoot them. 379 00:17:38,829 --> 00:17:40,746 You ever even fire that thing, son? 380 00:17:40,781 --> 00:17:43,749 No. I downloaded a PDF about gun use. 381 00:17:43,784 --> 00:17:45,117 Shoot him! 382 00:17:45,169 --> 00:17:47,920 Aah! So loud! 383 00:17:47,955 --> 00:17:51,006 You're just a bunch of nerds. What do bullies do to nerds? 384 00:17:51,041 --> 00:17:52,624 Steve? 385 00:17:52,626 --> 00:17:53,876 A purple nurple! 386 00:17:53,928 --> 00:17:56,378 Ah, ah, ah! Titty twister! 387 00:17:56,430 --> 00:18:00,182 Okay, now how 'bout one that's not on the nipple? 388 00:18:00,217 --> 00:18:03,051 Noogie! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 389 00:18:03,103 --> 00:18:06,138 Quit punching yourself! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! 390 00:18:06,190 --> 00:18:07,723 Pig belly! 391 00:18:07,775 --> 00:18:11,693 Aah, aah, aah, aah, aah! Wedgie! No. Atomic wedgie! 392 00:18:11,729 --> 00:18:13,061 Aah, aah, aah! 393 00:18:13,113 --> 00:18:16,281 Ow, ow, ow, ow! Ah, ah, ah! 394 00:18:16,317 --> 00:18:18,650 Aah! Ow, ow, ow. 395 00:18:18,702 --> 00:18:22,821 You're what we call... a discarded asshole. 396 00:18:24,325 --> 00:18:25,824 Lousy machines. 397 00:18:25,860 --> 00:18:28,393 Storing America’s private data. 398 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:31,964 Dad, dad! I know a better way. 399 00:18:31,999 --> 00:18:34,716 They were all connected in a series. 400 00:18:36,136 --> 00:18:38,136 Like Christmas lights, papa. 401 00:18:43,310 --> 00:18:45,093 No! 402 00:18:45,145 --> 00:18:50,816 Error 404 -- N.S.A. files not found. 403 00:18:50,851 --> 00:18:52,751 Nat, are you gonna take that underwear off your head? 404 00:18:52,786 --> 00:18:56,788 It's the only thing that feels good right now. 405 00:19:00,444 --> 00:19:02,911 Mmm, I think I just ate the memory 406 00:19:02,947 --> 00:19:05,697 of when it was taken away from its mom. 407 00:19:05,749 --> 00:19:07,666 So no sides at all? 408 00:19:11,205 --> 00:19:14,373 Mmm, oh... 409 00:19:14,425 --> 00:19:17,175 Oh, no. Oh, this was a mistake. 410 00:19:17,211 --> 00:19:19,044 You're damn right it was! 411 00:19:19,096 --> 00:19:22,214 Gus Derwitt, U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service. 412 00:19:22,216 --> 00:19:24,883 We got you on tape eating an endangered species. 413 00:19:24,885 --> 00:19:26,435 That's a 10-year prison term. 414 00:19:26,470 --> 00:19:29,054 Please, she accidentally ate veal this morning. 415 00:19:29,056 --> 00:19:30,772 You can see how we got here. 416 00:19:30,808 --> 00:19:32,941 We're so sorry! Please don't turn us in! 417 00:19:32,977 --> 00:19:35,811 Hmm, well, my hands aren't exactly clean either. 418 00:19:35,863 --> 00:19:37,229 There was probably a way to do this 419 00:19:37,281 --> 00:19:39,865 without butchering a gorilla. 420 00:19:39,900 --> 00:19:42,234 Tell you what, give me $10,000, 421 00:19:42,236 --> 00:19:43,986 I'll let you walk. 422 00:19:45,205 --> 00:19:46,738 I have $60. 423 00:19:46,740 --> 00:19:49,458 I have two stamps and a used ticket 424 00:19:49,493 --> 00:19:51,126 to Chicago’s Adler Planetarium. 425 00:19:51,161 --> 00:19:54,746 Hand it over and get out of here before I change my mind. 426 00:19:57,001 --> 00:20:00,419 There should be sides. 427 00:20:00,421 --> 00:20:03,055 We got 60 bucks 428 00:20:03,090 --> 00:20:07,225 and whatever two forever stamps is worth these days. 429 00:20:09,229 --> 00:20:11,146 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 430 00:20:15,185 --> 00:20:17,102 The old gorilla brain switcheroo 431 00:20:17,154 --> 00:20:19,154 doesn't play like it used to. 432 00:20:19,189 --> 00:20:20,989 Maybe we need a new swindle. 433 00:20:22,910 --> 00:20:25,577 You wanna grift with someone else? That's fine. 434 00:20:25,613 --> 00:20:28,196 But you still gon' be my husband. 435 00:20:34,121 --> 00:20:37,005 Tonight, you proved you are C.I.A. material. 436 00:20:37,041 --> 00:20:39,124 We just did a mission together. 437 00:20:39,176 --> 00:20:40,459 Put her there. 438 00:20:40,461 --> 00:20:43,929 Hmm, nothing we can do about the sweat. 439 00:20:43,964 --> 00:20:45,464 That's from your mom's side. 440 00:20:45,466 --> 00:20:46,706 But you can tighten up the grip. 441 00:20:47,450 --> 00:20:50,392 Alright, alright, still pretty weak, but getting there. 442 00:20:51,899 --> 00:20:54,698 There it is, now that's a handshake. 443 00:20:55,067 --> 00:20:57,343 Cute kid. You leaving him as a tip? 444 00:20:58,635 --> 00:21:00,346 'Cause last time you didn't leave a tip. 445 00:21:00,619 --> 00:21:02,385 - Trish. - Trish.