1
00:00:04,664 --> 00:00:07,370
I've been so distracted lately,

2
00:00:07,470 --> 00:00:08,970
mainly thinking about my marriage and...

3
00:00:09,023 --> 00:00:10,881
and blah, blah, blah.
You'll never leave him.

4
00:00:10,915 --> 00:00:12,030
Now focus up, girl!

5
00:00:12,055 --> 00:00:13,156
You're right!

6
00:00:13,208 --> 00:00:14,776
It's foolish to be talking at all

7
00:00:14,811 --> 00:00:16,911
when you bring out one
of your a-list personas.

8
00:00:16,947 --> 00:00:19,371
I mean, it's so rare for
the Samantha Kingsbury

9
00:00:19,406 --> 00:00:21,416
to make an appearance.

10
00:00:21,451 --> 00:00:24,018
Please, you sound just like my
ski instructor in St. Moritz.

11
00:00:24,054 --> 00:00:26,554
I don't know if I can
winter there again...

12
00:00:26,590 --> 00:00:29,357
Who is that?

13
00:00:29,392 --> 00:00:31,633
Her? That's Meredith Fields.

14
00:00:31,669 --> 00:00:35,133
She's the most interesting and
fabulous woman in Langley Falls.

15
00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:37,599
She can't be all that
if I, Samantha Kingsbury,

16
00:00:37,634 --> 00:00:38,733
never heard of her.

17
00:00:38,768 --> 00:00:40,568
Meredith's pretty amazing.

18
00:00:40,604 --> 00:00:42,837
She runs the best book club in town.

19
00:00:42,873 --> 00:00:44,339
Book club.

20
00:00:44,374 --> 00:00:45,974
I pretend skied in Switzerland.

21
00:00:46,009 --> 00:00:48,943
And she runs a charity to raise...

22
00:00:48,979 --> 00:00:50,378
Awareness.

23
00:00:50,413 --> 00:00:51,713
Charities.

24
00:00:51,748 --> 00:00:53,781
It's all about podcasts these days.

25
00:00:53,817 --> 00:00:56,047
She's even got time for the homeless.

26
00:00:56,082 --> 00:00:58,653
Time? I have sex with the homeless!

27
00:00:58,688 --> 00:01:01,656
Roger, she's married to a dentist.

28
00:01:05,528 --> 00:01:07,172
I can't believe you haven't met her.

29
00:01:07,207 --> 00:01:10,832
Correction, she can't
believe she hasn't met me.

30
00:01:10,867 --> 00:01:12,271
Observe.

31
00:01:13,631 --> 00:01:14,615
Excuse me.

32
00:01:14,617 --> 00:01:15,670
Thank you.

33
00:01:15,705 --> 00:01:18,139
Oh, I just adore the service here.

34
00:01:18,174 --> 00:01:21,092
Can I trouble you for a glass of water?

35
00:01:34,808 --> 00:01:35,773
Thank you.

36
00:01:35,809 --> 00:01:37,492
Uh, before I order,

37
00:01:37,527 --> 00:01:39,727
you might want to get that couple first.

38
00:01:39,763 --> 00:01:41,429
They were here before me.

39
00:01:59,165 --> 00:02:01,132
Holy shit!

40
00:02:01,167 --> 00:02:04,752
She is amazing!

41
00:02:04,788 --> 00:02:06,120
She thought I worked here.

42
00:02:06,156 --> 00:02:07,755
You kind of do.

43
00:02:14,097 --> 00:02:16,931
# Good morning, U.S.A. #

44
00:02:16,983 --> 00:02:20,518
# I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day #

45
00:02:20,570 --> 00:02:23,521
# The Sun in the sky
has a smile on his face #

46
00:02:23,573 --> 00:02:27,575
# and he's shinin' a salute
to the American race #

47
00:02:29,663 --> 00:02:33,114
# oh, boy, it's swell to say #

48
00:02:33,166 --> 00:02:35,783
# good... good morning, U.S.A. #

49
00:02:35,785 --> 00:02:37,118
Aah!

50
00:02:38,171 --> 00:02:41,122
# Good morning, U.S.A. #

51
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:47,762
Whew! That crossfit workout was amazing.

52
00:02:47,797 --> 00:02:49,797
Coach Trey is awesome!

53
00:02:49,849 --> 00:02:52,216
Remember when he put a
protein bar against his crotch

54
00:02:52,268 --> 00:02:54,102
and pretended to Jack off
all over the yoga class?

55
00:02:54,137 --> 00:02:55,186
So funny.

56
00:02:55,221 --> 00:02:58,172
Oh, crossfit kicks so much ass!

57
00:02:58,208 --> 00:03:00,108
Give it a rest, Klaus.
You're not a crossfitter.

58
00:03:00,143 --> 00:03:01,676
Yeah, but I'm totally gonna hit it

59
00:03:01,711 --> 00:03:02,812
when my shoulder feels better.

60
00:03:02,848 --> 00:03:03,820
Sure, fish.

61
00:03:03,855 --> 00:03:07,231
Guys, check out my abs. Jeff, hit me!

62
00:03:07,283 --> 00:03:09,033
Now me!

63
00:03:09,069 --> 00:03:10,302
Okay, plan...

64
00:03:10,529 --> 00:03:12,696
we hit it hard today,
so let's say we relax,

65
00:03:12,698 --> 00:03:14,748
grab some protein,
then hit the sack early

66
00:03:14,784 --> 00:03:16,617
so we can crush tomorrow's workout.

67
00:03:16,669 --> 00:03:19,703
Oh, yeah. I'm already hooked.

68
00:03:19,755 --> 00:03:23,040
I am in for the swole enchilada.

69
00:03:29,582 --> 00:03:30,464
No!

70
00:03:30,516 --> 00:03:31,382
No!

71
00:03:31,434 --> 00:03:32,516
No!

72
00:03:32,551 --> 00:03:33,884
Roger, what are you doing?

73
00:03:33,936 --> 00:03:35,537
Samantha Kingsbury may not have been

74
00:03:35,573 --> 00:03:37,214
as fabulous as Meredith Fields,

75
00:03:37,239 --> 00:03:39,633
but there has to be a persona
in here that could beat her.

76
00:03:40,192 --> 00:03:42,726
PTA rock star Mike Babcock...

77
00:03:42,778 --> 00:03:45,562
the cool dad every mom at
school wants to sleep with.

78
00:03:45,615 --> 00:03:46,981
I mean, bang.

79
00:03:47,033 --> 00:03:49,400
Nobody's sleeping when
Mike comes a-creeping.

80
00:03:49,402 --> 00:03:50,618
Nope.

81
00:03:50,653 --> 00:03:52,390
I'm just gonna have
to start from scratch.

82
00:03:52,425 --> 00:03:53,654
Come on, you'll drive.

83
00:03:55,432 --> 00:03:56,473
Where are we?

84
00:03:56,509 --> 00:03:57,875
Now you're asking?

85
00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,712
You're a real odd duck, Francine.

86
00:04:00,746 --> 00:04:03,080
Anyway, this is my
magical persona factory.

87
00:04:05,551 --> 00:04:06,917
Oh, my god!

88
00:04:06,919 --> 00:04:10,504
Funny you mention him. This
is where he was created.

89
00:04:10,556 --> 00:04:12,592
Or, rather, she.

90
00:04:12,594 --> 00:04:14,558
No, he. God's a he.

91
00:04:14,593 --> 00:04:16,060
And he's white.

92
00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:24,183
Roger, I have to ask...

93
00:04:25,269 --> 00:04:27,102
What is your electric bill?

94
00:04:27,104 --> 00:04:28,320
Don't worry about it.

95
00:04:32,410 --> 00:04:34,994
All my characters are conceived here.

96
00:04:35,029 --> 00:04:37,946
I'm sure you recognize
some of my best work.

97
00:04:37,999 --> 00:04:40,949
And now, my best work
needs to be better!

98
00:04:41,002 --> 00:04:44,370
Like a chef, I must pick
the finest ingredients.

99
00:04:44,422 --> 00:04:47,447
All my work has led me to this moment...

100
00:04:48,342 --> 00:04:51,599
The most fabulous
persona I've ever birthed.

101
00:04:52,630 --> 00:04:55,681
And dry ice for effect.

102
00:04:55,716 --> 00:04:58,017
Get ready to meet...

103
00:04:58,052 --> 00:04:59,635
Raider Dave!

104
00:04:59,687 --> 00:05:00,886
Oh, overcooked it.

105
00:05:00,938 --> 00:05:03,022
Boy, you add just one
ingredient too many,

106
00:05:03,057 --> 00:05:04,807
and you end up raider Dave...

107
00:05:04,859 --> 00:05:05,974
every time.

108
00:05:08,813 --> 00:05:11,725
All right, time for the morning work...

109
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,000
ouch!

110
00:05:13,401 --> 00:05:15,488
My body... it's dead!

111
00:05:15,540 --> 00:05:18,561
Oh, my god! Why can't I move?!

112
00:05:18,613 --> 00:05:20,536
It must be from crossfit.

113
00:05:21,083 --> 00:05:21,961
Jeff?!

114
00:05:21,963 --> 00:05:24,171
Down here. I'm stuck, too.

115
00:05:24,196 --> 00:05:27,663
Do I hear that correctly?

116
00:05:27,715 --> 00:05:31,236
The entire family is unable to move?

117
00:05:31,238 --> 00:05:32,838
Klaus, thank god! Help us!

118
00:05:33,225 --> 00:05:37,339
Oh, no. Klaus is in charge now.

119
00:05:37,375 --> 00:05:39,842
I can finally have that birthday party

120
00:05:39,877 --> 00:05:42,144
you didn't let me have two years ago.

121
00:05:42,179 --> 00:05:43,879
We never stopped you from...

122
00:05:43,914 --> 00:05:46,148
yes! The party!

123
00:05:46,183 --> 00:05:48,901
It'll be my party,

124
00:05:48,936 --> 00:05:50,818
with my favorite food.

125
00:05:50,820 --> 00:05:52,420
My favorite drink.

126
00:05:52,422 --> 00:05:55,678
And everybody's favorite song!

127
00:05:55,713 --> 00:05:57,409
No! Klaus!

128
00:05:59,447 --> 00:06:01,263
my ears!

129
00:06:01,298 --> 00:06:02,831
it burns!

130
00:06:03,474 --> 00:06:06,258
Oh, I can't do this to you guys...

131
00:06:06,294 --> 00:06:09,071
Without jacking that bass!

132
00:06:16,931 --> 00:06:19,715
Let's thank Sandra for
her choice this month.

133
00:06:19,717 --> 00:06:21,850
"Little Women" was just a delight.

134
00:06:21,886 --> 00:06:24,937
By the end, after all Jo
and the girls went through,

135
00:06:24,972 --> 00:06:26,889
it should called "Big Women."

136
00:06:26,891 --> 00:06:30,058
Big Women? Try huge.

137
00:06:32,897 --> 00:06:34,146
Mm.

138
00:06:34,198 --> 00:06:35,981
Cecilia Takaru's the name.

139
00:06:36,033 --> 00:06:38,817
Born on a sleigh ride
outside St. Petersburg.

140
00:06:38,869 --> 00:06:40,452
Closer to Tampa, actually.

141
00:06:40,488 --> 00:06:42,788
Or as us tampons like to call it,

142
00:06:42,823 --> 00:06:44,039
home of Hulk Hogan.

143
00:06:44,074 --> 00:06:46,291
My goodness, what a gas.

144
00:06:46,327 --> 00:06:48,794
Studied literature at
space camp for four years,

145
00:06:48,829 --> 00:06:50,746
which, naturally, led me to franchise

146
00:06:50,748 --> 00:06:52,214
the chimdale Ikea.

147
00:06:52,249 --> 00:06:55,417
Not a stress-free job,
but I have a handle on it.

148
00:06:57,338 --> 00:06:58,337
Sorry, I blacked out.

149
00:06:58,389 --> 00:07:00,255
Oh, yeah, "Little Women."

150
00:07:00,307 --> 00:07:01,889
Alcott called it "Little Women"

151
00:07:01,942 --> 00:07:04,804
because she was challenging
the male-centric "Huck Finn"

152
00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:07,454
and the role of females
in a post-colonial America.

153
00:07:07,506 --> 00:07:09,765
Wow. Welcome, Cecilia.

154
00:07:09,817 --> 00:07:13,318
I'm not familiar with
the space camp curriculum,

155
00:07:13,354 --> 00:07:14,937
but wasn't "Little Women"

156
00:07:14,939 --> 00:07:17,523
published 20 years before "Huck Finn"?

157
00:07:19,443 --> 00:07:23,111
In... in space, time is very fluid.

158
00:07:23,164 --> 00:07:25,547
As Einstein hypothesized,

159
00:07:25,583 --> 00:07:27,316
stuff from earlier...

160
00:07:27,351 --> 00:07:30,919
Might actually be from later.

161
00:07:30,955 --> 00:07:32,171
Pull it together.

162
00:07:32,206 --> 00:07:34,923
Einstein's theory of relativity.

163
00:07:34,959 --> 00:07:39,178
And to come up with that
riding a strassenbahn in Vienna.

164
00:07:39,213 --> 00:07:43,186
I'd say it was a greater leap
for mankind than the moonwalk.

165
00:07:50,474 --> 00:07:52,474
Roger, what are you doing?

166
00:07:52,476 --> 00:07:54,443
Cecilia Takaru is a lie!

167
00:07:54,478 --> 00:07:56,647
All of these personas are lies!

168
00:07:56,699 --> 00:07:58,257
Well, yeah.

169
00:07:58,259 --> 00:07:59,076
Masks!

170
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,627
They cover up the fact
that I'm empty inside!

171
00:08:01,679 --> 00:08:03,235
Roger, that's not true!

172
00:08:03,287 --> 00:08:05,320
It took meeting someone
as real as Meredith

173
00:08:05,372 --> 00:08:07,122
for me to see I'm like an onion.

174
00:08:07,157 --> 00:08:09,288
When you peel away the
layers, there's nothing left...

175
00:08:09,851 --> 00:08:11,527
except tears!

176
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:16,965
Aah!

177
00:08:17,001 --> 00:08:19,418
What are you doing?! No!

178
00:08:21,241 --> 00:08:24,006
Die! All of you!

179
00:08:24,058 --> 00:08:26,341
This is agony!

180
00:08:26,343 --> 00:08:28,088
I programmed them to feel burning.

181
00:08:28,385 --> 00:08:31,062
Back to crazy! Aah!

182
00:08:37,238 --> 00:08:38,904
Why would you do this?

183
00:08:38,939 --> 00:08:40,596
That was your life's work!

184
00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:42,357
That life is over.

185
00:08:42,393 --> 00:08:44,192
I'm done creating characters!

186
00:08:44,228 --> 00:08:46,016
I'm gonna live the rest of my days

187
00:08:46,041 --> 00:08:48,864
as the most boring
person on the planet...

188
00:08:48,899 --> 00:08:50,132
Me.

189
00:08:50,167 --> 00:08:52,401
Well, you have to put on something.

190
00:08:52,436 --> 00:08:55,196
I can't drive you around
looking like an alien.

191
00:08:55,231 --> 00:08:57,539
Fine!

192
00:08:57,591 --> 00:08:59,541
Drive. Take me nowhere.

193
00:08:59,577 --> 00:09:01,985
It's the only place a nobody belongs.

194
00:09:19,362 --> 00:09:22,080
Oh, Roger, I can hear
you sobbing in there,

195
00:09:22,115 --> 00:09:23,948
and it's breaking my heart.

196
00:09:24,837 --> 00:09:27,001
I also hear you rubbing on stuff,

197
00:09:27,037 --> 00:09:28,369
probably our groceries.

198
00:09:28,422 --> 00:09:29,585
Probably.

199
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:33,208
Just put on the emergency poncho
and come sit up front with me.

200
00:09:36,096 --> 00:09:38,880
Formless and generic... just like me.

201
00:09:38,932 --> 00:09:41,433
Well, we can zhuzh it up a little.

202
00:09:45,772 --> 00:09:46,938
Much better.

203
00:09:47,510 --> 00:09:49,224
But you need some hair.

204
00:09:50,977 --> 00:09:52,143
Pretty.

205
00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:53,828
Ugh.

206
00:09:56,149 --> 00:09:58,888
I just know he did
something terrible to this.

207
00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,337
Come on, Tony, pick up, pick up.

208
00:10:19,372 --> 00:10:21,706
You've been calling
people all afternoon.

209
00:10:21,741 --> 00:10:24,042
Face it, Klaus, no one's
coming to your party.

210
00:10:24,077 --> 00:10:27,145
Trust me, my boy Tony
always comes through.

211
00:10:27,180 --> 00:10:29,447
Hey, Tony! It's Klaus!

212
00:10:29,483 --> 00:10:31,783
Get your ass over here.

213
00:10:31,818 --> 00:10:34,686
There is a par-tay going on!

214
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:37,306
Yeah, of course I'll
give you the the deets.

215
00:10:37,342 --> 00:10:39,824
See? He wants the deets.

216
00:10:39,860 --> 00:10:41,159
Okay, usual deets.

217
00:10:41,194 --> 00:10:44,128
Personal pepperoni
and small crazy bread.

218
00:10:44,164 --> 00:10:45,730
45 minutes!

219
00:10:45,765 --> 00:10:48,733
Oh, he can't wait to party!

220
00:10:48,768 --> 00:10:51,202
That's Tony, bro!

221
00:10:53,874 --> 00:10:56,207
I got a double half-caff cappuccino,

222
00:10:56,243 --> 00:10:57,375
extra whip for...

223
00:10:57,410 --> 00:10:59,210
Wait a second, there's no name.

224
00:10:59,246 --> 00:11:01,713
That's me. I don't deserve a name.

225
00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,081
Gah! This is awful!

226
00:11:03,116 --> 00:11:05,402
Do you know who I am? Make it again...

227
00:11:05,886 --> 00:11:06,985
For no name.

228
00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:09,053
Why don't you just go by Roger?

229
00:11:09,055 --> 00:11:10,438
There is no Roger.

230
00:11:10,473 --> 00:11:12,774
Roger is just a collection
of phony persona's

231
00:11:12,809 --> 00:11:14,726
to cover up an emptiness inside.

232
00:11:14,778 --> 00:11:15,977
You're not empty inside.

233
00:11:16,029 --> 00:11:17,862
You've just forgotten who you are

234
00:11:17,898 --> 00:11:20,331
'cause you spend so much
time being other people.

235
00:11:20,367 --> 00:11:23,301
So what's a person do when
they've forgotten who they are?

236
00:11:23,336 --> 00:11:24,903
You could...

237
00:11:24,938 --> 00:11:26,979
Volunteer for something.

238
00:11:27,014 --> 00:11:28,933
They say the best way to find yourself

239
00:11:28,968 --> 00:11:30,551
is in the service of others.

240
00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:32,160
"Awareness.

241
00:11:32,212 --> 00:11:33,978
A-where's yours?"

242
00:11:34,014 --> 00:11:35,296
That's clever.

243
00:11:35,332 --> 00:11:36,831
This speaks to me.

244
00:11:36,883 --> 00:11:39,996
That's the flier for
Meredith's charity gala.

245
00:11:40,048 --> 00:11:42,008
I don't think you should
be around the woman

246
00:11:42,061 --> 00:11:43,922
who's got you wearing
a mop on your head.

247
00:11:43,957 --> 00:11:45,786
She's exactly who I should be around,

248
00:11:45,821 --> 00:11:47,813
'cause she knows exactly who she is.

249
00:11:47,848 --> 00:11:49,477
Ooh, phone Jack installation.

250
00:11:49,512 --> 00:11:52,096
This guy sounds like he
knows who he is as well.

251
00:11:52,098 --> 00:11:54,265
Hmm, so it's down to these two.

252
00:11:54,267 --> 00:11:55,800
Piano lessons?!

253
00:11:55,835 --> 00:11:58,102
Wait, don't park in the CVS parking lot?

254
00:11:58,138 --> 00:12:00,939
This board is just
knocking my socks off!

255
00:12:03,443 --> 00:12:04,542
Okay, so...

256
00:12:04,578 --> 00:12:07,045
You take your water bottle, okay,

257
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:09,447
and you just slide the label on.

258
00:12:09,482 --> 00:12:12,083
There. You just raised awareness.

259
00:12:12,118 --> 00:12:14,118
I think I felt it.

260
00:12:14,170 --> 00:12:16,101
Oh. Your bungee cord belt.

261
00:12:18,323 --> 00:12:20,091
Look at your neat belt!

262
00:12:20,126 --> 00:12:22,126
Seems to have traveled on you.

263
00:12:22,162 --> 00:12:23,485
Thank you!

264
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,158
And thank you for your help.

265
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:26,965
Awareness is the first step

266
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:30,234
before thinking about caring
about a specific thing.

267
00:12:30,270 --> 00:12:32,170
You crawl before you walk.

268
00:12:32,205 --> 00:12:33,471
Walk before you run.

269
00:12:33,506 --> 00:12:35,042
Pee before you sex!

270
00:12:35,077 --> 00:12:38,192
Someone's got spunk!

271
00:12:38,228 --> 00:12:40,878
You're gonna do just fine.

272
00:12:40,914 --> 00:12:41,913
Oh!

273
00:12:41,965 --> 00:12:44,415
That means so much coming
from someone like you.

274
00:12:44,451 --> 00:12:46,636
Sometimes, I don't have
a lot of confidence.

275
00:12:46,671 --> 00:12:49,520
Don't be silly. You
can be whoever you want.

276
00:12:49,556 --> 00:12:51,022
You're so kind.

277
00:12:51,057 --> 00:12:52,717
May I give you something?

278
00:12:54,377 --> 00:12:57,011
Well, what do we have here?

279
00:12:57,047 --> 00:12:58,329
Triangle.

280
00:13:01,167 --> 00:13:05,336
Now, isn't that a curious
way to look at someone.

281
00:13:07,974 --> 00:13:10,041
Why didn't the pizza guy help us?

282
00:13:10,076 --> 00:13:11,976
'Cause Klaus didn't tip him.

283
00:13:12,012 --> 00:13:13,111
An apple is a tip.

284
00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:16,347
Thank god, somebody's here! Help!

285
00:13:16,383 --> 00:13:17,615
Yeah, party people!

286
00:13:17,651 --> 00:13:19,934
Help yourselves to some pizza.

287
00:13:19,986 --> 00:13:21,986
If anyone knows how
to make jell-o shots,

288
00:13:22,022 --> 00:13:23,488
there's a half handle of Popov.

289
00:13:23,523 --> 00:13:25,356
Klaus, who the hell are these people?

290
00:13:25,408 --> 00:13:27,874
Oh, just some people I know
through my friend Craig.

291
00:13:27,910 --> 00:13:30,528
You might know him. He has his own list.

292
00:13:30,563 --> 00:13:33,931
You invited perverts from
Craigslist into my house?

293
00:13:39,339 --> 00:13:40,538
Babe!

294
00:13:40,540 --> 00:13:42,040
Dealing with my own thing here, Jeff.

295
00:13:42,092 --> 00:13:43,174
My glasses!

296
00:13:44,377 --> 00:13:46,294
What's happening?! Something's wet!

297
00:13:46,346 --> 00:13:49,347
Oh, god! Something's wet!

298
00:13:49,382 --> 00:13:52,938
Nice to see you smiling
again and not starting fires.

299
00:13:52,974 --> 00:13:54,797
Did you do something to your hair?

300
00:13:54,849 --> 00:13:56,270
It looks like Meredith's, right?

301
00:13:56,306 --> 00:13:58,222
She says I can be just like her.

302
00:14:01,611 --> 00:14:03,227
Don't forget...

303
00:14:03,279 --> 00:14:05,480
you're supposed to be finding yourself!

304
00:14:05,532 --> 00:14:06,948
Yeah, yeah.

305
00:14:06,983 --> 00:14:08,533
Meredith! Meredith!

306
00:14:08,568 --> 00:14:10,651
Meredith! Meredith, hi!

307
00:14:10,704 --> 00:14:12,571
Oh. Oh, it's you.

308
00:14:12,950 --> 00:14:14,210
Is that my scarf?

309
00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:15,623
Did you change your hair?

310
00:14:15,658 --> 00:14:17,540
I don't think so.

311
00:14:17,576 --> 00:14:18,376
Do you like it?!

312
00:14:18,456 --> 00:14:20,044
I have the same haircut.

313
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,423
Uh, Mer, I've got the
band leader on the phone.

314
00:14:22,425 --> 00:14:24,593
I wrote some songs about
awareness. You want to hear 'em?

315
00:14:24,645 --> 00:14:26,723
You're probably already thinking
'em 'cause we're so similar.

316
00:14:26,758 --> 00:14:28,096
Oh, my god, that's so us!

317
00:14:28,131 --> 00:14:29,359
- Meredith?
- Yes?

318
00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:30,655
Yes? I mean... I mean,
why are you asking me?

319
00:14:30,690 --> 00:14:32,825
- I'm not Meredith.
- We have to move up the news plug.

320
00:14:32,877 --> 00:14:34,099
Did you think I was Meredith?
Do I look like Meredith?

321
00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:34,824
They need you on the air in five.

322
00:14:34,826 --> 00:14:36,928
Meredith, we've got big banner problems.

323
00:14:36,930 --> 00:14:38,262
Not now. I'm in the middle of something.

324
00:14:38,264 --> 00:14:40,389
Please, can you give us some space?

325
00:14:40,441 --> 00:14:42,141
Yes, can you all give us some space?

326
00:14:43,103 --> 00:14:44,485
Oh, right, sure.

327
00:14:44,521 --> 00:14:45,818
I'll... I'll just go busy myself...

328
00:14:46,444 --> 00:14:48,393
In o trash.

329
00:14:49,938 --> 00:14:51,692
That dumpster's got to
be around here somewhere.

330
00:14:51,745 --> 00:14:54,278
Oh! Maybe it's in
Meredith's master bedroom.

331
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:55,696
I'll just take a quick peek.

332
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:08,359
What are you doing?!

333
00:15:08,394 --> 00:15:09,360
Mer-Mer?

334
00:15:09,395 --> 00:15:10,843
Is that my négligée?

335
00:15:10,878 --> 00:15:11,955
I'm so sorry.

336
00:15:11,991 --> 00:15:13,097
I just admire you so much,

337
00:15:13,133 --> 00:15:15,099
and I saw it, and... and... and...

338
00:15:15,135 --> 00:15:16,634
oh, promise me you're not mad!

339
00:15:16,636 --> 00:15:18,651
What?! I'm extremely mad!

340
00:15:18,687 --> 00:15:19,737
We don't even know each other.

341
00:15:19,773 --> 00:15:21,689
- I mean, what's your name?
- Meredith.

342
00:15:21,724 --> 00:15:23,241
But that's my name.

343
00:15:23,276 --> 00:15:23,995
I know!

344
00:15:24,031 --> 00:15:25,883
You told me I could be whoever I want.

345
00:15:25,918 --> 00:15:27,278
And I chose you.

346
00:15:27,313 --> 00:15:28,412
But I'm me.

347
00:15:28,448 --> 00:15:30,148
Mm, sorry. You're already taken.

348
00:15:30,150 --> 00:15:31,649
I'd like you to leave right now.

349
00:15:31,651 --> 00:15:33,618
And I'd like you to give me your pants,

350
00:15:33,653 --> 00:15:35,620
because we're so
obviously the same size.

351
00:15:35,655 --> 00:15:37,221
Why are you acting like this?

352
00:15:37,257 --> 00:15:38,756
Gee, I don't know, Meredith two.

353
00:15:38,792 --> 00:15:40,615
Maybe it's because I'm standing here

354
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,578
in my delicates like a crazy person!

355
00:15:44,747 --> 00:15:47,498
Oh, my god! She's out cold!

356
00:15:47,534 --> 00:15:49,600
What have I done? What do I do?

357
00:15:50,138 --> 00:15:52,071
What would Meredith do?

358
00:15:52,338 --> 00:15:53,604
Of course.

359
00:15:54,241 --> 00:15:56,758
The answer's right in front of me.

360
00:16:08,778 --> 00:16:10,044
Why, hello there!

361
00:16:10,096 --> 00:16:12,143
Sorry to bother,

362
00:16:12,195 --> 00:16:14,721
but I'm looking for
one of your volunteers.

363
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,666
She didn't come home last night.

364
00:16:16,701 --> 00:16:17,921
Who's at the door, dear?

365
00:16:18,232 --> 00:16:19,231
Oh, no.

366
00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:21,484
Well, I'll leave you two.

367
00:16:21,524 --> 00:16:24,458
I'm gonna go brush my teeth.

368
00:16:24,493 --> 00:16:27,561
Small circles, light pressure.

369
00:16:34,487 --> 00:16:36,904
Roger, what the hell did you do?

370
00:16:36,906 --> 00:16:38,122
Where's Meredith?!

371
00:16:38,157 --> 00:16:40,751
Francine, everything's fine now.

372
00:16:40,786 --> 00:16:43,076
I put her on a barge, and now I'm her.

373
00:16:43,078 --> 00:16:44,411
A barge?

374
00:16:44,413 --> 00:16:46,497
You can't take someone's life like this!

375
00:16:46,549 --> 00:16:48,966
Why? Can't it just be
like when we were kids?

376
00:16:49,001 --> 00:16:50,501
Oh, Franny, we'd draw pictures

377
00:16:50,553 --> 00:16:54,014
with red oceans and green
skies and be who we wanted!

378
00:16:54,016 --> 00:16:55,471
And then play in the sprinklers

379
00:16:55,523 --> 00:16:56,954
till Mama called us for supper.

380
00:16:56,956 --> 00:16:59,226
Are you having a stroke right now?

381
00:16:59,629 --> 00:17:01,428
Forget it. I'm stopping this.

382
00:17:01,464 --> 00:17:03,197
That's barge talk, Francine.

383
00:17:03,232 --> 00:17:06,133
Roger, I am not going to sit here and...

384
00:17:09,405 --> 00:17:12,940
Son of a bitch. He barged me.

385
00:17:14,693 --> 00:17:17,007
Meredith, are you okay?

386
00:17:17,043 --> 00:17:19,513
Some lunatic kidnapped
me and dumped me here.

387
00:17:19,548 --> 00:17:21,877
Yeah, that's my friend.

388
00:17:21,913 --> 00:17:25,153
She's stolen your life.
She's running your gala.

389
00:17:25,188 --> 00:17:30,023
Oh, and she may be having
relations with your husband.

390
00:17:30,059 --> 00:17:32,125
No! My gala!

391
00:17:34,213 --> 00:17:36,096
Klaus, you've got to stop this party.

392
00:17:36,131 --> 00:17:37,965
The perverts have become emboldened.

393
00:17:37,967 --> 00:17:40,184
You've proven your point.
You have a crew, okay?

394
00:17:40,219 --> 00:17:41,635
Now stop this!

395
00:17:41,637 --> 00:17:44,471
I don't know what's happening,
but I think I'm moving!

396
00:17:44,523 --> 00:17:45,973
Tell me it's a good guy, please.

397
00:17:46,025 --> 00:17:47,558
Even if it's not true.

398
00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:51,645
Stan, Hayley, Steve, Jeff!

399
00:17:51,647 --> 00:17:53,044
Trey! Trey! Trey! Trey!

400
00:17:53,046 --> 00:17:54,147
Do I hear Coach Trey?

401
00:17:54,149 --> 00:17:58,118
Party's over. Now
pump up my workout jam.

402
00:18:09,331 --> 00:18:12,163
Three, two, one.

403
00:18:12,199 --> 00:18:13,333
Personal record.

404
00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:15,135
How did you know we were in trouble?

405
00:18:15,170 --> 00:18:17,254
After you didn't show up
for your second workout,

406
00:18:17,306 --> 00:18:18,752
I figured something
like this had happened.

407
00:18:18,787 --> 00:18:20,305
A lot of first-time crossfitters

408
00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:22,309
end up so sore, they can't move.

409
00:18:22,344 --> 00:18:24,061
It's the roofie of physical fitness.

410
00:18:24,096 --> 00:18:25,596
You should tell people
that when they sign up.

411
00:18:25,648 --> 00:18:27,147
Hey, no problem.

412
00:18:27,182 --> 00:18:29,516
Now, I got to go back to my other job...

413
00:18:29,552 --> 00:18:31,685
As a terrible marine biologist.

414
00:18:32,688 --> 00:18:35,072
See ya in the box!

415
00:18:35,107 --> 00:18:37,357
That's what we call the gym!

416
00:18:46,488 --> 00:18:49,000
It's me... Jerry the dentist!

417
00:18:50,782 --> 00:18:52,384
But tonight is not about me.

418
00:18:52,777 --> 00:18:54,932
Or the number-one family dental practice

419
00:18:54,957 --> 00:18:57,377
in the Langley-Langston
-chimdale triangle.

420
00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:01,765
Tonight is about my wife.

421
00:19:03,269 --> 00:19:06,103
I give you Meredith Fields.

422
00:19:15,564 --> 00:19:18,425
Where does awareness come from?

423
00:19:20,803 --> 00:19:23,977
Tell us! Tell us where!

424
00:19:24,029 --> 00:19:25,595
The sky! Everyone look up!

425
00:19:28,544 --> 00:19:29,409
Get him!

426
00:19:37,057 --> 00:19:38,585
Maniacs!

427
00:19:43,929 --> 00:19:45,342
Hold it right there, imposter!

428
00:19:45,394 --> 00:19:47,344
I'm not the imposter! She is!

429
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:55,769
Hey!

430
00:20:02,394 --> 00:20:04,261
Back to being nobody, I guess.

431
00:20:04,313 --> 00:20:06,071
Oh, Franny. How was the barge?

432
00:20:06,096 --> 00:20:07,051
Honestly...

433
00:20:07,566 --> 00:20:08,509
Pretty great.

434
00:20:08,561 --> 00:20:10,317
Listen, I'm sorry.

435
00:20:10,352 --> 00:20:13,019
I know I went too far,
but being Meredith,

436
00:20:13,021 --> 00:20:15,572
it just felt so good to be someone real.

437
00:20:15,607 --> 00:20:18,108
But you were nothing like Meredith.

438
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,160
I didn't even do that right.

439
00:20:20,195 --> 00:20:21,528
You were you.

440
00:20:21,580 --> 00:20:24,331
You're always you, no
matter who you're playing.

441
00:20:24,366 --> 00:20:25,592
'Cause the real Roger

442
00:20:25,617 --> 00:20:27,897
is at the core of all your characters.

443
00:20:28,117 --> 00:20:32,005
You are real selfish and real horny

444
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:35,061
and real violent and real sensitive.

445
00:20:35,097 --> 00:20:36,940
And just really...

446
00:20:37,679 --> 00:20:39,196
Really amazing.

447
00:20:39,277 --> 00:20:40,310
Do you mean it?

448
00:20:40,775 --> 00:20:42,682
Do you honestly think I'm horny?

449
00:20:42,770 --> 00:20:44,281
The horniest.

450
00:20:45,639 --> 00:20:46,772
Thank you, Franny.

451
00:20:46,807 --> 00:20:48,941
You're not so not horny yourself.

452
00:20:48,976 --> 00:20:50,192
Where's the criminal?

453
00:20:50,227 --> 00:20:51,450
He's not a criminal.

454
00:20:51,502 --> 00:20:54,480
Unless it's a crime to
bleed silver and black.

455
00:20:54,515 --> 00:20:55,948
Raider Dave!

456
00:20:55,983 --> 00:20:59,151
This is our year! Raider
Nation will rise again!