1
00:00:10,575 --> 00:00:13,665
Stan, what are you--
it's Saturday.
2
00:00:13,665 --> 00:00:16,016
I thought your spin class
was cancelled.
3
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:19,106
I don't know, the alarm's
got a mind of its own.
4
00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:20,803
Wait a second.
5
00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:25,068
Oh, my God,
it's my Peak Day alarm.
6
00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:27,244
I set this years ago.
7
00:00:27,244 --> 00:00:29,899
Why, you ask?
8
00:00:29,899 --> 00:00:33,163
It's all here, in my vintage
issue of Men's Health.
9
00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:36,079
Aside from correctly
predicting Zachery Ty Bryan's
10
00:00:36,079 --> 00:00:38,386
A-lister career,
it has an article about
11
00:00:38,386 --> 00:00:41,171
when a man hits the scientific
prime of his life,
12
00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:43,260
his "peak,"
at the third month
13
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:45,915
of his 42nd year.
That's today.
14
00:00:45,915 --> 00:00:48,396
What's it say about women?
When's my peak?
15
00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:50,572
Oh, good Lord, that would
have been ages ago...
16
00:00:50,572 --> 00:00:54,271
a-and stretching
far into the future.
17
00:00:56,926 --> 00:01:00,495
Yes. Even my obvious lies
are at peak performance.
18
00:01:03,454 --> 00:01:06,066
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
19
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:09,808
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be
a wonderful day ♪
20
00:01:09,808 --> 00:01:12,681
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
21
00:01:12,681 --> 00:01:17,077
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
22
00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:22,343
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say
23
00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:24,736
♪ Good-- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
24
00:01:24,736 --> 00:01:25,868
Aah!
25
00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:30,525
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
26
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:36,966
Welcome back to "Morning
Mimosa" with Trish and Suze.
27
00:01:36,966 --> 00:01:38,924
It's time to call
some of the men
28
00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:41,797
who ghosted Trish
after one date.
29
00:01:41,797 --> 00:01:45,061
First up on the list is
a humorless little schmuck
30
00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:47,455
named Suckboi Tony.
31
00:01:47,455 --> 00:01:48,543
Hey.
32
00:01:48,543 --> 00:01:50,066
- Come on.
- What the
33
00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:53,156
It's time for
a thrilling Stan-nouncement.
34
00:01:53,156 --> 00:01:56,420
Today, I have officially hit
"Peak Stan."
35
00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:59,945
Everything at this moment in
my life is hitting its stride.
36
00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:03,123
I've got it all--
wonderful wife, great kids,
37
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,820
fridge in the garage.
38
00:02:04,820 --> 00:02:07,170
A blend of faculties
and experience
39
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:09,346
that are in total sync.
40
00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:11,174
Cool, Dad, great.
41
00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:13,655
Speak up, my boy,
can't hear you up at the peak.
42
00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:15,178
Can we put
the TV back on?
43
00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:16,788
Hayley, is that you?
44
00:02:16,788 --> 00:02:18,442
Wind's whippin'
like a mother up here.
45
00:02:18,442 --> 00:02:21,053
Be careful, Stan,
as they're constantly saying
46
00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:22,707
on the series "The Crown,"
47
00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:25,841
"Heavy is the head
that wears the crown."
48
00:02:25,841 --> 00:02:27,669
What are you
talking about?
49
00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:30,150
I think he's saying that when
you're on top of the mountain,
50
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,195
people are gonna try
to knock you off.
51
00:02:32,195 --> 00:02:33,718
- Right, Klaus?
- Right.
52
00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:37,505
Man, you always get me, Francine.
53
00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:39,115
Meet me in the kitchen.
54
00:02:39,115 --> 00:02:40,508
You may be right.
55
00:02:40,508 --> 00:02:43,032
At the peak,
I'm most exposed.
56
00:02:43,032 --> 00:02:46,209
But also at the peak,
I can see my enemies coming--
57
00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:47,689
in every direction.
58
00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:50,474
I can also see them not able
to handle the altitude.
59
00:02:50,474 --> 00:02:52,389
Should've hired a Sherpa, haters.
60
00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:54,565
Come on, honey, let's go
to the grocery store.
61
00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:56,001
I want you
to see what it's like
62
00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:59,179
when a man at his peak
buys baked beans.
63
00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:06,316
So, Roger,
if you need pointers on
how to maximize free samples
64
00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:09,537
without these crummy farmers
giving you crap, just ask.
65
00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:11,234
We do this a lot.
66
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:12,975
I like to grab a sample,
67
00:03:12,975 --> 00:03:15,369
take a little lap,
come back and pretend
68
00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:17,240
I'm a different
talking fish.
69
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,416
That was my tip.
I told you that.
70
00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:21,592
No you didn't.
My oma taught me that
71
00:03:21,592 --> 00:03:24,160
when I was a young ski jumper
in Dusseldorf--
72
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,162
Are you
with me right now?
73
00:03:26,162 --> 00:03:28,208
How did I end up
in this grouping?
74
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,862
Feel like I got put
on the practice squad.
75
00:03:30,862 --> 00:03:32,473
Whoa.
76
00:03:32,473 --> 00:03:34,910
Four bucks for one apple?
77
00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:36,607
That's robbery,
I'll give two.
78
00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:38,609
They're $4.
We have samples if you--
79
00:03:38,609 --> 00:03:40,568
No, no, no, no, no,
I'm not trying anything.
80
00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:42,657
I am in control
of this negotiation.
81
00:03:42,657 --> 00:03:43,875
Take the sample.
82
00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:46,095
- What is he doing?
- Is it even good?
83
00:03:46,095 --> 00:03:47,401
The best
you'll ever have.
84
00:03:47,401 --> 00:03:49,316
See, now you've overplayed
your hand
85
00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:51,013
and just lost a customer.
86
00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:52,580
I'm walking away.
87
00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:54,799
Adios, señor.
88
00:03:54,799 --> 00:03:58,803
Still got any
of those apples?
89
00:03:58,803 --> 00:04:01,066
Sucker.
That's a fiver.
90
00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:03,373
This is gonna be amazing.
91
00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:05,941
People forget,
but apples can go toe-to-toe
92
00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,899
with any fruit
out there.
93
00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:11,076
Well, not peaches,
plums, pears,
pomegranates, pineapples--
94
00:04:11,076 --> 00:04:13,818
and those are
just the "P's"--
but a good apple is good.
95
00:04:13,818 --> 00:04:16,865
What are you waiting for?
Get to munchin', bro.
96
00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:19,476
Oh, no, I paid out the ass
for this thing.
97
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:21,217
The setting
must be perfect.
98
00:04:21,217 --> 00:04:23,306
Every single bite
has to be savored.
99
00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:25,090
My hands are empty.
Why are my hands empty?
100
00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:27,136
I dropped the apple.
When did I drop the apple?
101
00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:28,268
There it goes.
102
00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:32,141
Aah!
103
00:04:32,141 --> 00:04:34,535
It went into
that tiny... sinkhole.
104
00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:36,232
I know.
105
00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:38,278
I thought for sure it would
go into that one.
106
00:04:42,412 --> 00:04:45,067
Say, "Pe-e-e-e-eak."
107
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:47,156
I'm ready now.
108
00:04:47,156 --> 00:04:49,506
I'm thinking about
a prime filet.
109
00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:50,986
You offering any discounts?
110
00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:52,466
I've hit my peak, see.
111
00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:53,815
Congrats there, friend.
112
00:04:53,815 --> 00:04:55,773
Guess it's all downhill
from here.
113
00:04:58,472 --> 00:05:00,430
Wait. Wait.
Wait, what do you mean?
114
00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:02,171
Don't you get it,
I'm at my peak.
115
00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:04,652
Sure, but once you've gone
all the way up,
116
00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:07,176
there's nowhere to go
but, uh--Farther up?
117
00:05:07,176 --> 00:05:09,961
Uh, how about
a dry-aged steak?
118
00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:11,049
Dry?
119
00:05:11,049 --> 00:05:12,224
Aged?
120
00:05:12,224 --> 00:05:13,661
Is that what I look like
to you?
121
00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:16,011
Hey. I couldn't help
but notice you,
122
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:18,056
and I had to ask.
123
00:05:18,056 --> 00:05:19,493
What's your number?
124
00:05:19,493 --> 00:05:21,233
Oh, Tom.
125
00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:23,410
Hey,
are you hitting on my wife?
126
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:26,369
I was just joking about
what number she was in line.
127
00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:30,591
Tom, your horniness
is a problem
for our business.
128
00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:34,159
Everybody's coming for me.
They smell blood in the water.
129
00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:36,205
You're reading
way too much into this.
130
00:05:36,205 --> 00:05:37,467
Oh, this is rich.
131
00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:39,861
Even the flier guy
thinks I'm weak.
132
00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:42,733
Stan,
they're on every car.
133
00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:45,519
I'm not weak!
134
00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:47,303
Alright,
update on the peak.
135
00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:49,653
My enemies think
I'm on the downslope.
136
00:05:49,653 --> 00:05:52,526
And thank you for warning me.
Your loyalty will be rewarded.
137
00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:54,092
We were just teasing, Stan.
138
00:05:54,092 --> 00:05:55,398
I wasn't even listening.
139
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:56,965
Don't take this
the wrong way, Dad,
140
00:05:56,965 --> 00:05:59,010
but other people
don't spend a lot of time
141
00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:01,143
thinking about
- your life.
- Maybe.
142
00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:03,406
But lemme bounce an idea
back at you.
143
00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:04,712
I am Tom Brady.
144
00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:09,238
People are jealous
and dying to see me lose.
145
00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:12,894
But, like Tom, I'm starting
an anti-aging regimen.
146
00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:14,374
Goop lotions and serums,
147
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,245
removing nightshades
from my diet,
148
00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:18,726
and daily brain training,
like the crossword.
149
00:06:19,596 --> 00:06:20,815
I don't know
any of these.
150
00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:22,120
Point is,
with this regimen,
151
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,906
I can take my peak
and turn it into
152
00:06:24,906 --> 00:06:26,037
a mesa.
153
00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:28,431
Flat greatness. Forever.
154
00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:31,826
Stan, I think you're going
about this all wrong.
155
00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:32,914
And honestly?
156
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:34,568
Being pretty narcissistic.
157
00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:36,961
Narcissistic?
I'm thinking
about other people
158
00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:38,528
and how they think
of me.
159
00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:42,880
Huh, him again.
160
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,323
Hmm, my curiosity is piqued.
161
00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:53,108
Hi, there, Stan.
162
00:06:53,108 --> 00:06:54,501
I'm Dr. Revánche.
163
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:55,937
Like I said
to the tech,
164
00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:57,286
I don't want to do
anything crazy, just--
165
00:06:57,286 --> 00:06:58,592
Freeze the peak.
166
00:06:58,592 --> 00:06:59,984
You came
to the right place.
167
00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:01,508
Look what I can do.
168
00:07:03,379 --> 00:07:06,077
Damn, son,
bring a bucket and mop.
169
00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:07,644
Am I right?
170
00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:10,125
But if I can be serious,
this is moving fast.
171
00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:12,997
Maybe a tiny bit of Botox
to freshen up instead?
172
00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:16,044
Of course.
Let's start small.
173
00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:19,221
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
174
00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:21,397
That's the needle you use
for Botox?
175
00:07:21,397 --> 00:07:23,878
This is the needle I use
for heart paralysis.
176
00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:25,749
I'm a bad guy.
177
00:07:25,749 --> 00:07:28,883
Oh, that's...
honest, at least.
178
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,765
Hello, Stan.
179
00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:47,510
Aah!
What did you do to me?!
180
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:49,338
Stan, don't worry.
181
00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:52,036
You're going to love
your new face.
182
00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:54,517
Although, your old one
is pretty nice, too.
183
00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:56,824
You were right,
184
00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:58,565
someone was coming
for you.
185
00:07:58,565 --> 00:07:59,914
It was me.
186
00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:02,220
I started with your face,
but trust me,
187
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:03,526
it doesn't end there.
188
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:06,573
I'm gonna take
your whole life.
189
00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:14,276
Aah!
Oh, my God, this is crazy.
190
00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:18,410
And what is going on
with my voice?
191
00:08:18,410 --> 00:08:21,544
Oh, I also switched out
your larynx with that guy's.
192
00:08:21,544 --> 00:08:22,937
And I love it.
193
00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:26,157
♪ Good morning,
alleywa-a-a-a-a-y ♪
194
00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:30,771
My beautiful face.
195
00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:32,033
My beautiful voice.
196
00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:34,122
That doctor changed everything.
197
00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:35,602
Oh, my God.
198
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:36,994
I guess it's the same.
199
00:08:36,994 --> 00:08:40,694
Oh, my God, what are you
even going on about?
200
00:08:40,694 --> 00:08:42,217
Sorry,
I was talking to myself.
201
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:43,523
So was I.
202
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,916
Not everything revolves
around you.
203
00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:50,530
No. No.
Lose the hat.
204
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,488
You're right,
it's too much.
205
00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:58,320
Okay. We are a family
at the table.
206
00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,452
It is time
- for a meal.
- Uh-huh.
207
00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:01,802
- Yeah.
- Good summary, Dad.
208
00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:03,455
What's going on
with your voice?
209
00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:05,806
It's peaking,
along with the rest of me.
210
00:09:05,806 --> 00:09:07,590
It's like
a second puberty.
211
00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:09,636
There's a second puberty?
212
00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:11,463
Oh, no.
213
00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:13,944
Got you.
214
00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:16,512
I said that
way too soon.
215
00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:18,383
Stay where you are.
I said, "Got you."
216
00:09:18,383 --> 00:09:20,168
- Cop tackle!
- Lemme go.
217
00:09:20,168 --> 00:09:21,386
Who is that?
218
00:09:21,386 --> 00:09:22,736
And why are they here?
219
00:09:22,736 --> 00:09:25,042
I asked them
to stake out the house.
220
00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:27,088
I noticed this man
following me,
221
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:31,571
and was afraid he might come
for my home and family.
222
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,442
Lies.
He's not who you think he is.
223
00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:36,358
He stole my face
and my voice.
224
00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:37,794
I'm Stan, not him.
225
00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:39,491
How do you explain this, then?
226
00:09:39,491 --> 00:09:40,841
Can't fake that.
227
00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:42,538
You gotta believe me.
228
00:09:42,538 --> 00:09:44,584
I just went to the doctor
to get Botox,
229
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,369
you know, to preserve my peak,
and maybe some lip filler--
230
00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:49,632
I'll give ya
some lip filler.
231
00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:50,807
He said lip.
232
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:52,243
Why didn't you punch him
in the mouth?
233
00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:53,941
Oh, duh, of course.
234
00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:56,465
Hey buddy, say that sweet,
sweet set-up line again.
235
00:09:56,465 --> 00:09:58,423
C'mon.
If we retrace my steps,
236
00:09:58,423 --> 00:10:00,034
I can show you
how he did it all.
237
00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:02,079
Blammo.
238
00:10:02,079 --> 00:10:03,559
Okay, let's go.
239
00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:06,214
I don't think
it's coming back.
240
00:10:06,214 --> 00:10:07,563
Let's just get
another apple.
241
00:10:07,563 --> 00:10:10,044
No, that was a
once-in-a-lifetime deal.
242
00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:11,698
I'm eating that apple.
243
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,134
You can't fit in there.
244
00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:15,440
Sure I can.
Been in a weight-loss contest
245
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,791
with college friends,
so I'm slim right now.
246
00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:19,444
Slacked off bad
the first week,
247
00:10:19,444 --> 00:10:21,751
got chicken carbonara
from Domino's like 11 times,
248
00:10:21,751 --> 00:10:24,536
but this week
I've only had coffee.
249
00:10:24,536 --> 00:10:27,801
Okay, it's tight,
but not so bad.
250
00:10:30,107 --> 00:10:31,761
Oh, no, oh, no,
I'm stuck, I'm stuck.
251
00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:34,851
Pull me out, pull me out!
I don't wanna do this anymore!
252
00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:41,031
Dude.
253
00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:42,424
I lied.
I had four Clif Bars
254
00:10:42,424 --> 00:10:44,644
and a tub of strawberry
frosting this morning.
255
00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:48,343
He made it.
256
00:10:48,343 --> 00:10:51,215
Hi. Okay, it's way down there.
I'll be back.
257
00:10:51,215 --> 00:10:53,348
If you don't hear from me
in a week, um...
258
00:10:53,348 --> 00:10:55,437
Ya know what? Just give up.
Move on with your lives.
259
00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:57,482
we'll all be fine.
260
00:10:59,223 --> 00:11:01,269
Just ahead
is Dr. Revánche's office.
261
00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:03,097
You'll see where
that monster duped me
262
00:11:03,097 --> 00:11:06,187
and drugged me and set
his twisted plan in motion.
263
00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:07,971
Buddy, it's empty.
264
00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:09,190
I don't get it.
265
00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:10,539
Just yesterday this was
266
00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:12,236
a fully-functioning
doctor's office.
267
00:11:12,236 --> 00:11:15,109
I mean, his receptionist,
Susan, sat right there.
268
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:16,719
She had a gruff exterior,
but she really went
269
00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:18,590
to bat for me
with my insurance company.
270
00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:21,376
Real Stan, why are we
indulging this guy?
271
00:11:21,376 --> 00:11:23,552
We're trying to appease
a crazy person
272
00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:25,597
because he knows
where we live.
273
00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:27,512
- Plus, it's funny, right?
- I know.
274
00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:29,732
He put his ads everywhere
on my drive to work.
275
00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:32,648
I'll show you.
276
00:11:32,648 --> 00:11:35,782
I swear, he had
like five ads in a row.
277
00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:37,653
He couldn't have gotten rid
of them all.
278
00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:42,745
Sir, you've peeled these ads
all the way back
279
00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:44,181
to Old Hollywood.
280
00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:46,706
Oh, wait, the flier
on my windshield.
281
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:47,881
Follow me.
282
00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:51,754
I tossed it down here.
283
00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:52,842
Is this it?
284
00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:54,148
No, just a lotto ticket.
285
00:11:54,148 --> 00:11:56,193
Ooh, someone left
a box unscratched.
286
00:11:56,193 --> 00:11:57,760
Nope,
that was just bird shit.
287
00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,327
Can we just arrest
this clown?
288
00:11:59,327 --> 00:12:02,199
Say, this guy's clearly
going through something.
289
00:12:02,199 --> 00:12:04,767
Ya know... maybe I can just
talk some sense into him.
290
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:07,161
I speak clown.
291
00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:09,685
Why are you doing this?
292
00:12:09,685 --> 00:12:11,643
You don't remember me,
do you?
293
00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:13,733
Let me freshen
your memory.
294
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:19,216
Many years ago, I placed a bid
on my dream home,
295
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:21,915
but I had competition.
296
00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:26,789
You.
297
00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:29,574
So the sellers
asked each of us
to write a letter
298
00:12:29,574 --> 00:12:31,011
to help them decide.
299
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:35,015
I put my heart and soul
into that letter
300
00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:38,235
but you must have put more
because you got the house.
301
00:12:38,235 --> 00:12:39,759
And at the time,
302
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:43,763
I still believed
the world was a fair place.
303
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,808
Later on,
I ran into the sellers,
304
00:12:45,808 --> 00:12:50,552
who informed me that
they only received one letter.
305
00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:53,120
Look familiar?
306
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:54,295
"I like house.
307
00:12:54,295 --> 00:12:55,949
Want to live there bad.
308
00:12:55,949 --> 00:12:57,646
Other guy
seems like douche."
309
00:12:57,646 --> 00:12:59,561
This is good. How come
you didn't get the house?
310
00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:00,997
That was the letter
you wrote!
311
00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:02,346
I don't know
how you did it,
312
00:13:02,346 --> 00:13:04,218
but I know you made
my letter disappear.
313
00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:06,176
Good instincts.
314
00:13:06,176 --> 00:13:07,525
It was definitely me.
315
00:13:07,525 --> 00:13:10,093
I took it and made
a clean getaway.
316
00:13:10,093 --> 00:13:12,966
After that,
I was enraged.
317
00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:15,011
I became consumed.
318
00:13:15,011 --> 00:13:18,319
My wife couldn't dedicate
herself to a life of revenge,
319
00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:20,321
so I ended it.
320
00:13:20,321 --> 00:13:24,978
And soon I discovered
your weakness-- vanity.
321
00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:28,503
So I planted the Peak Day idea
in your head
322
00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:31,636
and led you
into my arms...
323
00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:33,116
after med school,
324
00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:34,988
a plastic surgery residency
in North Dakota,
325
00:13:34,988 --> 00:13:36,903
and a couple years
keeping my [bleep] sister's
326
00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:39,862
sandwich shop afloat
in Woodstock.
327
00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:42,996
And now I have
what's rightfully mine--
328
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:48,131
the house and the family
I never got the chance
to start.
329
00:13:52,222 --> 00:13:53,615
A security camera.
330
00:13:53,615 --> 00:13:54,834
That'll prove everything.
331
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,705
I can't get through
to this guy.
332
00:13:56,705 --> 00:13:58,141
Arrest him.
333
00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:03,712
We'll never catch him.
334
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:05,496
He had a crazy
head start.
335
00:14:05,496 --> 00:14:07,542
He probably ran track.
336
00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:10,806
And now I have
what's rightfully mine--
337
00:14:10,806 --> 00:14:15,550
the house and the family I
never got the chance to start.
338
00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:18,031
See? Told you
it was me, old friend.
339
00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:19,902
Oh, my God,
you are you.
340
00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:21,556
You look good, Stan.
341
00:14:21,556 --> 00:14:23,297
Get a bucket
and a mop.
342
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:25,342
The voice is sexy, too.
343
00:14:25,342 --> 00:14:27,910
Say "banana."
344
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:30,608
No. Stop making eyes at me
and listen.
345
00:14:30,608 --> 00:14:31,958
I've been in hell.
346
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,698
But you can save my soul.
347
00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:36,005
You're the linchpin
to my whole plan.
348
00:14:36,005 --> 00:14:38,312
Oh,
I'm a great linchpin.
349
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:42,925
Reliable, strong, sexy,
charming when I need to be.
350
00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:45,667
Ooh, and if your plan
involves walking,
351
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:48,104
I got a great
new set of sneakers.
352
00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:50,541
Comfortable,
good price, brown.
353
00:14:50,541 --> 00:14:52,674
Oh, and they got
the longest laces, Stan.
354
00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:55,155
Shhhh.
Less, Tuttle.
355
00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:57,374
Got ya.
356
00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:00,987
Got it.
357
00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:02,510
Oh. Lost it.
358
00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:03,728
Got it.
359
00:15:04,729 --> 00:15:06,122
Nope. Got it.
360
00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:07,254
Got it, yes.
361
00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:10,561
Can't hardly see a thing
in here.
362
00:15:10,561 --> 00:15:13,564
An orange? Ech.
I don't want this.
363
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:16,828
Feel like I shoulda
thrown the orange.
364
00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:23,966
As you can see, I've got
some heat on me right now.
365
00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:27,100
So I need you
to take this tape
and show my family
366
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,971
I am who I say I am.
367
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,625
I think
I'm getting a blister.
368
00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:33,671
Maybe I should go home
and get a Band-Aid.
369
00:15:33,671 --> 00:15:36,022
Just go.
370
00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:38,154
I'm starting to panic, Stan.
371
00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:39,939
Stop turning around
and talking to me.
372
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,984
Did that guy just step
out of the bushes?
373
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:44,465
Yeah.
And now he's talking to 'em.
374
00:15:44,465 --> 00:15:46,858
You think
we should check it out?
375
00:15:46,858 --> 00:15:49,644
Nah, now he's crawling back
into the bushes.
376
00:15:49,644 --> 00:15:51,646
Just a nature freak.
377
00:15:57,347 --> 00:16:00,089
Oh, my God,
he's got my family!
378
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:02,787
Looks like the Smiths
are going on vacation.
379
00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:04,659
Let's check
the scanner.
380
00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:06,530
Officer Blatt,
Caruso, where have you been?
381
00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:08,141
Officer down
at Sixth Street and Av--
382
00:16:08,141 --> 00:16:11,318
Ugh, it's always bad news
with that guy.
383
00:16:11,318 --> 00:16:13,233
Tell me about it.
384
00:16:13,233 --> 00:16:14,799
Let's go get
some ice cream.
385
00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:21,893
They're still gone.
386
00:16:21,893 --> 00:16:25,158
We need to look for clues
to where he might be going.
387
00:16:25,158 --> 00:16:26,463
Is this something?
388
00:16:26,463 --> 00:16:28,683
Uch, yes,
that's an iPad.
389
00:16:28,683 --> 00:16:30,946
I mean this.
390
00:16:30,946 --> 00:16:32,034
Oh, my God.
391
00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:33,775
Why would he do this
to her?
392
00:16:33,775 --> 00:16:36,734
He's going to do surgeries
on them.
393
00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:38,867
That Godless mons--
actually,
394
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:40,477
Steve might be able
to pull this off.
395
00:16:40,477 --> 00:16:41,739
No, must find them.
396
00:16:41,739 --> 00:16:43,785
Okay, Stan,
I'll go get my car.
397
00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:46,266
Quiet. Let me think.
Where?
398
00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:49,791
I remember him
testing the tools.
399
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:52,272
There was a bird...
400
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:54,709
...and a bridge.
401
00:16:54,709 --> 00:16:56,319
A rickety wooden bridge.
402
00:16:56,319 --> 00:16:58,495
Tuttle, where is the closest
rickety wooden bridge?
403
00:16:58,495 --> 00:17:01,933
Uh, there's a pretty solid
one over at the library.
404
00:17:01,933 --> 00:17:04,066
Rickety.
Rickety for Chrissakes.
405
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:06,895
Oh! There's one
at the Japanese tea garden.
406
00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:09,811
Yes!
You're a genius.
407
00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:11,813
You absolute fool.
408
00:17:11,813 --> 00:17:14,250
This is not it.
409
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:16,644
I think-- ah--
it's not a bridge-- ow--
410
00:17:16,644 --> 00:17:19,429
but there's a rickety dock
at the marina.
411
00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:21,475
The bridge was a dock.
412
00:17:21,475 --> 00:17:23,216
The bird was a seagull.
413
00:17:23,216 --> 00:17:25,305
Yes, I was on a boat.
414
00:17:25,305 --> 00:17:26,741
That also explains
this barnacle
415
00:17:26,741 --> 00:17:29,091
that's been stuck on me
for days. Let's go.
416
00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:36,751
He must have them
on one of these boats.
417
00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:40,102
Some kind of, I dunno,
surgery boat?
418
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:41,277
Do you know which one?
419
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:43,584
It could literally be
any of these.
420
00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:46,152
Dr. Adrian Revánche:
♪ Surgery boat, surgery boat
421
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:49,111
♪ Cuttin' up faces
on a surgery boat ♪
422
00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:53,463
♪ It's the eighth row over,
and the third boat
do-o-o-o-wn ♪
423
00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:55,074
Look, we're never gonna
find 'em
if we stand around
424
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,466
listening to
this guy sing.
425
00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:58,555
Let's split up and check
the boats one by one.
426
00:17:58,555 --> 00:18:00,079
Go.
427
00:18:03,386 --> 00:18:04,648
Mmm.
428
00:18:04,648 --> 00:18:06,781
Okay,
who wants to go first?
429
00:18:06,781 --> 00:18:08,435
Please, no.
430
00:18:08,435 --> 00:18:10,393
Please, sir,
have mercy.
431
00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:13,614
I'll go. Always get the first
appointment of the day,
432
00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:15,268
when the doctor's fresh.
433
00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:16,617
Life hack
for you kids.
434
00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:20,360
Stop.
You guys have to believe me.
435
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:22,666
That's not the Stan
you know.
436
00:18:22,666 --> 00:18:24,973
Uh, yeah, we've pretty much
figured that out by now.
437
00:18:24,973 --> 00:18:27,671
Ugh, will you please
just leave me alone?
438
00:18:27,671 --> 00:18:28,933
Listen up, doc.
439
00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:30,848
I'm only gonna
say this once--
440
00:18:30,848 --> 00:18:32,459
fix my son's cheekbones,
441
00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:34,852
then get the hell away
from my family.
442
00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:36,637
Tell him, Dad.
Wai-- wuh?
443
00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:38,900
Looking at you now,
444
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:41,642
I see that you need
a little touch-up.
445
00:18:44,732 --> 00:18:46,429
Nurse, scalpel.
446
00:18:46,429 --> 00:18:48,344
Still tied up
- over here.
- Right.
447
00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:51,826
I don't care how obsessed
you are with me,
448
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:53,784
you can't have my family.
449
00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:55,221
You don't get it.
450
00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:57,875
I don't want to have
your family.
451
00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:59,399
I want to ruin them,
452
00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:01,749
just like you ruined
my whole life.
453
00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:15,197
Watch the face.
Watch the face.
454
00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:18,026
Obviously, it's mine.
455
00:19:18,026 --> 00:19:20,942
How dare you try to change
my family.
456
00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:23,553
Let me tell you,
as a plastic surgeon,
457
00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:26,295
your family
is far from perfect.
458
00:19:26,295 --> 00:19:27,601
You bitch.
459
00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:29,951
Maybe they're not
perfect to you,
460
00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:32,736
but I love them all
as they are--
461
00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:34,303
medium-looking.
462
00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:38,742
Except my wife,
she's a [bleep] fox!
463
00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:49,318
Time to face the music.
464
00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:53,322
I'm so sorry.
465
00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:55,672
When I said I love
and accept you as you are,
466
00:19:55,672 --> 00:19:58,109
I realized maybe that's what
I've been worried about
467
00:19:58,109 --> 00:19:59,241
this whole time.
468
00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:01,200
That once
I'm past my peak
469
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,202
you might not love
and accept me.
470
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,333
Just untie us.
471
00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:06,117
Hold on,
I'm not quite done.
472
00:20:06,117 --> 00:20:09,991
I realize now, though,
you'll never give up on me.
473
00:20:09,991 --> 00:20:11,688
On good ol' Stan.
474
00:20:11,688 --> 00:20:13,734
- Uch, take it off.
- Jee-zuss.
475
00:20:13,734 --> 00:20:16,911
Get a bucket and a mop.
476
00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:20,741
Whew!
Glad that's over.
477
00:20:20,741 --> 00:20:22,525
Wait, is it over?
478
00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:24,832
Hopefully Dr. Kalgary
can squeeze me in today.
479
00:20:24,832 --> 00:20:26,094
Although,
I do like carrying around
480
00:20:26,094 --> 00:20:28,662
this big 'ole
flappy face.
481
00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:29,793
Stan.
482
00:20:29,793 --> 00:20:32,100
Come on,
I'm kissing your ass.
483
00:20:33,928 --> 00:20:35,321
Someone stop that apple.
484
00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:36,931
Roger?
485
00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:39,499
Whoa,
look at your face, dude.
486
00:20:39,499 --> 00:20:41,065
What happened to you?
487
00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:43,633
Hey.
488
00:20:43,633 --> 00:20:44,982
That's a $4 apple.
489
00:20:51,511 --> 00:20:54,078
What am I doing?
I'll just go buy another one.
490
00:20:56,472 --> 00:20:58,387
Bye! Have a beautiful time!