So then the mugger tells me to lie on the ground
and count to 100.
And as I got down, I said, "Thanks! You too!"
"You too"!
I was mortified!
Okay!
I got to go drain my dame vein.
What did I miss?
It's your better half. Francine's a riot!
You ought to bring her by the office more, Stan.
It's criminal that we only get her at these work parties.
Someone call the police!
That's what she could have said. At the mugging.
I don't know. She's the storyteller.
I'm no good at this.
Well, I read a disturbing statistic recently.
We swallow eight spiders a year
without even realizing it.
I was so scared when I found out, I couldn't sleep.
But that's what I get for reading Snapple caps before bed.
Now someone else say a thing.
Oh, my God.
Bracelet flask! I love it!
You'll appreciate this.
Ooh. Purse flask.
They make those?
You are too much!
I'm Agent Cara.
Francine. I'm Stan Smith's wife.
Stanimal? I love that guy.
We work on the Interspace program together.
What's that?
It's pretty cool, actually.
I get to shrink down to the size of a cell
and go on missions in other people's bodies.
Like the Magic School Bus!
Exactly like that, except if Arnold was a dictator
and Ms. Frizzle was in there giving him E. coli.
Sorry. I don't mean to keep you if you need to pee.
Oh, no. I never use the toilets at these things.
I've got a system.
Are you kidding me?
Ah.
♪ Good morning, U.S.A
♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day
♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face
♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say
♪ Good morning, U.S.A
Argh!
♪ Good morning, U.S.A
Mmm. Mmm!
Okay. I'll bite.
- What's with the wheel? - This is no wheel.
This is a ticket to a better life.
Oh-ho! Nice. Say no more.
Disagree. Say more.
We got really lucky last night and saw a car crash.
A Lamborghini hit a barricade,
and one of the wheels flew so far
that after they got the fire out,
everyone just sort of forgot about it.
And now it's all ours.
It's the most expensive thing we own, by a lot.
And just the foothold we needed
to finally climb into high society.
Hold on. So you think rolling an old tire through the streets
is gonna make everyone think you're, what, rich?
Oh, no.
This bad boy will never touch the ground again.
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
I love it!
I'm clearing my schedule
and following whatever this is for the rest of the day.
Whew! What a party, huh?
I had such a great time last night.
Mmm. Me too.
Stan, how come you never mentioned Cara?
I'm sure I've talked about her.
C-Bone is my number-one work dawg.
We share bagels.
She's a bottom gal, and I prefer the top.
Well, I think she's great.
I could see us becoming really good friends.
Pshh. Never gonna happen.
What are you talking about, Klaus?
I'm afraid friendship is off the table, Francine,
because the feeling was not mutual.
Cara told me in an e-mail she sent this morning
she finds you very off-putting.
She said, and these are her words,
you give off a strong snitch vibe.
What? T-That's impossible!
We had real chemistry!
Was it because I asked her
if she's ever been all up inside a baby?
I meant like on a mission!
Probably, yes. Okay. I've got to jet.
Look how fast I can run!
Meh.
Okay.
Duper's new liver is in,
and Cara's at the extraction point.
Let's pull her out, enlarge her,
and get this guy to happy hour.
Confirm. We've got the ship.
Hang on. Cara's trying to signal us through the window.
She's... Okay. She's mooning me.
Hey! Francine is here!
Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
Sorry to interrupt. Is Cara in here...
She got transferred to... An arm... enian deli.
- In France. - Oh.
All right.
Smith! What on earth was that?
It's my wife, sir.
She always hijacks all my friendships.
And work is the last place I have
where my friends are just mine.
I couldn't risk it happening with Cara.
Come now, Smith. You can talk to me.
What's really going on?
Uh, I was...
Scared about all the spiders I must have swallowed
after what you said at the party.
And... And I need Cara to do a deep clean.
- For spiders. - There, now.
Doesn't it feel better telling the truth?
It's safe to be afraid here, Smith.
Mission approved!
♪ If I could turn back time
♪ If I could find a way
♪ Uh-uh-uh
♪ Uh-uh-uh-uh
♪ Uh-uh-uh What the Cher?
♪ Uh-uh-uh
♪ Uh-uh-uh, uh-uh-uh
Hey! Hey, can someone out there hear me?
Help!
Cara? - Francine?
Get out of town! It's so great to run into you!
Before you say anything,
I just want to apologize for making you hate me.
F-Francine, I don't hate you.
- You don't? - No!
But can we talk about this later?
I need help. Something's gone terribly wrong.
One minute I'm finishing a mission in Duper,
and the next I'm in this... I-I want to say moose?
It's Stan.
Stan, who lied about you being transferred!
And about you hating me!
Stan? Stan, wake up and explain yourself!
Stan!
Hang tight.
I'm gonna get a bucket of water to pour in this guy's face.
Make it a martini. I could use a drink!
Francine! Want to watch me play Elden Ring?
I'm an astrologer, but, like, a battle astrologer.
He's very cool, very good at stars.
Hey, does it seem crazy
that Stan would trap his work friend in his body
so I wouldn't find her?
Crazy? No. Surprising?
Also no.
Tell me what you know.
Well, it wouldn't be the first time
Stan has done something wild
to shield his work friends from you.
From me? I'm great.
Exactly. Look.
Do you remember Brock from the lab?
Of course! I loved Brock.
And what happened when you two started becoming friends?
Stan told me he got into Scientology
and cut all the suppressive people out of his life.
Mmm. What about Sharon, the assassin?
Sharon!
She fell in love, with the sea.
Sure. Tony the pilot?
Stan said he became a reverse werewolf
who's only human on full moons
so he's really busy those nights...
Oh, God damn it.
Actually, that one is true. But it was Stan's fault.
- But why? - He's afraid.
He doesn't want you getting close to his friends
because he knows you're way more charismatic than he is
and they'll become better friends with you.
I mean, I get it.
I like you way more.
It's why I'm giving you all this information
even though he swore me to secrecy.
But I really like Cara.
- I'm gonna talk to Stan. - You could.
But trust me, once he knows the jig is up,
he'll just find another way to make sure you and Cara
will never, ever be friends.
He's had a lot of practice.
Thanks. Okay.
Good luck being a fighting weatherman or whatever.
I can tell you're being dismissive
but that's pretty dead-on, so I can't be mad.
Oh! Francine.
Did you know some cats are allergic to humans?
A truly haunting rumination.
Fire up your shrinky machine!
I've got to go inside Stan and rescue your Interspace agent.
Come on, now. Talk to Avery.
What's the real reason you're doing this?
Um, I think Stan swallowed some of the Monopoly houses.
Training be damned!
Let's get you little!
In you go, Francine.
Okay. You can do this.
Shoo! Shoo!
It's Cara!
So you think that tire is gonna get you into Ataxia,
the most exclusive nightclub in all of Langley?
You're gonna get laughed at,
and I, for one, am here for it.
Can't wait.
Holy mackerel. That's Lamborghini rubber!
- Come right in! - Son of a bitch.
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson?
Hey! Is that from a Lambo? So sick.
You guys got to come watch the fight with us in Atlantic City.
We're taking a helicopter. It's Adele's birthday!
Lambo, with me.
Son of a bitch!
And I guess he's been doing this for years.
I'm sorry you got caught up in it.
Stop. It was a hell of a thing you did coming in here after me.
I was hoping I'd see you again.
Me too.
I can't believe Stan's being so petty.
We should plug one of his arteries.
Let's hide one of his testicles up inside his body.
That happened once when he got scared by a firework.
Hello? Betrayer!
You went inside me without my permission.
There's a word for people who do that, Francine.
Parasite!
I also feel betrayed.
Slow down. You kidnapped Cara.
To protect her because you always go
to these incredible lengths just to steal my friends!
That's not at all what I'm doing!
Get back to the extraction point and come home.
I forbid you to see Cara.
We're already together.
She's there? Tell her I say "Whazzup?"!
Stan says hi.
"Hi"? You make me sound like a dork!
Boy, you really can't help yourself.
You're being completely unreasonable!
You take some time to cool off!
In the meantime, Cara and I will be in here,
bonding.
That was fun.
Do you want to go to the roof and shoot our guns?
I need to get them out of there and away from each other.
Is there any other way to get them out?
Smith, we're the CIA.
We'll force them out even if we have to kill you to do it.
♪ I saw you outside of my cell
♪ I saw you
♪ I got a plan
♪ I got a sexy plan for you
♪ I start to think that you want something to drink
♪ I got a plan
♪ I got a sexy plan for you
♪ And then we drug them all
♪ And break out from this up prison
♪ I tricked you with my orgy
♪ I stole your gun
♪ Your purpose is a lie
♪ Exposing it is fun
♪ I saw you inside this hell
♪ I saw you
♪ I got a plan
♪ I got a killer plan for you
♪ We'll meet again and it'll be your end
♪ I got a plan
Had enough?
What? Francine, I can barely hear you.
What spiders?
Your brain is riddled with spiders!
We had to abandon ship!
Spiders? I warned you.
Francine's in trouble! I need to get in me!
Interesting. And how will that work?
Walk me through the logistics, I mean.
We don't have time for this.
Just shrink me down and get me inside me.
Okay. Yeah. I hear it now.
What we need is to build a team of agents
uniquely suited for this mission.
We'll need an ace pilot, a stone-cold killer,
a brain expert, a bard to sing the story of their triumph,
and... Oh, no.
Smith? Are the spiders in your eyes?
Hold still until I can get a glass and a piece of paper.
No. The problem is I know the perfect team for this mission.
I just really don't want to make the call.
What could be so bad
that you would risk the lives of your wife and fellow agent?
They're all work friends
that I've been keeping from Francine.
So it's gonna be like the movie Innerspace.
I don't have time to explain the plot to you,
so we'll just watch it on my phone.
Okay. So that was Dunston Checks In.
I couldn't find Innerspace on YouTube,
but I think you'll get the gist of it
once you're in the tiny spaceship.
Primary objective, rescue a fellow agent
as well as... Francine.
Oh, my God! Francine!
Francine? How is she?
Never mind. This was a bad idea.
You can all go home. It has to be me.
Stan.
All right. Here's the deal.
I handpicked each of you because you're invaluable to this op.
Sharon, you're the best tracker on the force.
Thanks, Stan.
And you deserve to know
Francine didn't get the acting bug and move to the Himalayas.
Also, no one is calling Nepal "The New Hollywood."
Tony, my ride-or-die reverse wolfman.
I appreciate you squeezing us in on a full moon.
Also, Francine is not a regular werewolf whose schedule
is therefore completely incompatible with yours.
Water under the bridge, Stan.
Brock, buddy, you know brains,
and I'm counting on you to keep mine safe.
Also, Francine didn't get stuck in the wet concrete
of the 11th Street Bridge,
and I don't go sing to her every New Year.
Well, it was a nice sentiment all the same.
And, Morgan Freeman,
history will want to know what happened here
and you're just the guy to narrate it.
Smart. Save it for the field.
The truth is, my wife is amazing.
I lied to all of you because I was afraid you'd like her more
and I'd be left in the lurch as the second banana.
But that's not her fault.
I'd like the chance to say all this to her, too,
so please bring her home.
Do you think I should've warned them about the spiders?
Well, we did everything we wanted.
We reached the top.
High-stakes Go Fish. Backstage with Rod Stewart.
A limo ride through a Burger King drive-through
with a snow leopard.
You guys want some Rita's water ice?
The owner saw your wheel and opened up early.
Guys! They've got blood orange!
Lamborghini wheel, you made our dreams come true.
Now it's time for you to do that for someone else.
I only wish we had more wheels to give.
You're not gonna believe this,
but there's a Lamborghini out on the street here
with a flat tire.
The guy looks pretty desperate.
No! The tire chooses!
This moment...
This is what they will remember us for.
Remember, the slightest damage to the brain
can have catastrophic consequences for Stan,
so follow my instructions very...
Argh!
Holy shit!
Hostiles incoming!
Find Francine! I'll hold 'em off!
So, how do you feel like it's going in there?
Pretty good, I think.
Freeman!
We sure could use a poignant pep talk right about now!
Hyah!
Francine?
Sharon?
Shut up! How are you?
Oh, pretty good. Working a lot.
Can you guys climb out?
No! I think my leg is broken!
Well, I guess no news is good news, right?
Oh!
But when stretchy jeans came out?
Boom. That was the real game-changer for wolfmen.
My quality of life went way up.
Tony, can I ask you something?
- Aren't you angry? - About what?
It's Stan's fault you're a reverse werewolf.
And he did it just to keep us from being friends.
A little. But I also feel for him.
It's got to be tough always getting eclipsed
by the person you love the most.
Kind of lonely, I'd think. And there's no escaping that.
At least I get one night off a month.
I guess so.
Let's kill it.
It's a baby now, but we have no idea how big it'll get.
I don't know.
It can't get more than eight feet!
Oh! Whoo!
And then, out of nowhere,
Sharon's head just pops up over the ledge, like this!
Like a dang turtle!
A toast!
To an unbreakable friendship.
Damn it!
I can't imagine this is easy for you.
- Are you angry? - Only at myself.
I'm so sorry about everything.
Francine, I was just jealous
of the way you pull people into your orbit.
But now I realize I'm in that orbit, too.
And there's nowhere else I'd rather be, baby.
Oh, Stan.
And through it all, Stan learned
the most important lesson.
No amount of fighting or bargaining
will ever slow the hands of old Father Time.
Children grow up, whether you're ready for it or not.
I assume that's what he learned, anyway.
I'm pretty loaded.
You know, Jack Nicholson gave me this bathing suit
on the set of The Bucket List.
That man just gives and gives and gives.