1
00:00:04,482 --> 00:00:07,268
Moving-truck-moving-truck-
moving-truck-moving-truck!
2
00:00:07,268 --> 00:00:09,574
We're getting new neighbors!
3
00:00:09,574 --> 00:00:12,273
Mom, back away
from the window.
4
00:00:12,273 --> 00:00:14,188
Niiice
and sloooow.
5
00:00:14,188 --> 00:00:15,928
You don't wanna
scare 'em off, do ya?
6
00:00:15,928 --> 00:00:17,191
I won't do that!
7
00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:18,888
Git her, Mr. S!
8
00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:20,063
Let me go!
9
00:00:20,063 --> 00:00:21,934
I'm not gonna
scare 'em away!
10
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:24,024
Yes, you will.
11
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:27,157
Why do you think
no new neighbors
ever stick around?
12
00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:29,812
You do tend to come on
too strong, Francine.
13
00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,076
I know I do...
14
00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:35,078
I just get excited.
15
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:37,863
Excited to grow
our little community.
16
00:00:37,863 --> 00:00:39,126
Frickin' sue me.
17
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,088
There's a dad.
18
00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:48,396
And a...
young single dad, maybe?
19
00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:50,398
That's a teenage girl.
20
00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:52,922
I know because I see them
on the CW.
21
00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:57,144
A wiiiife!
22
00:00:57,144 --> 00:01:01,235
There's
a wiiiiiffffeee!
23
00:01:01,235 --> 00:01:06,457
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
24
00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:10,287
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be
a wonderful day ♪
25
00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:13,421
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
26
00:01:13,421 --> 00:01:17,860
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
27
00:01:19,688 --> 00:01:23,126
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say
28
00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:25,563
♪ Good-- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
29
00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:26,651
Aah!
30
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:31,265
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
31
00:01:32,918 --> 00:01:35,399
Just havin' a stare
at the front door again,
Franny?
32
00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:36,618
Me? No.
33
00:01:36,618 --> 00:01:38,359
I'm trying
to calm my nerves
34
00:01:38,359 --> 00:01:40,404
before we welcome
the new neighbors.
35
00:01:40,404 --> 00:01:42,102
Isn't that in like
four hours?
36
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,538
You know what they say,
37
00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:45,192
early bird gets
the great neighbors
38
00:01:45,192 --> 00:01:46,976
and the thriving community.
39
00:01:46,976 --> 00:01:48,673
Well, it has
a nice ring to it.
40
00:01:48,673 --> 00:01:51,154
I might start
saying it myself,
but it won't be today.
41
00:01:51,154 --> 00:01:52,938
Today, I'm a boy's kite.
42
00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:54,636
And I have to be hanging
in his shed
43
00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:56,507
before his deadbeat mom
gets there.
44
00:01:56,507 --> 00:01:58,683
She visits him once a year
on his birthday
45
00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:00,337
and they take me out
and fly me.
46
00:02:00,337 --> 00:02:01,904
That sounds depressing.
47
00:02:01,904 --> 00:02:03,514
That's the point.
48
00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:06,038
All the time, I'm having
so much fun with my personas.
49
00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:08,432
But you can't have the highs
without the lows.
50
00:02:08,432 --> 00:02:11,305
Just like you can't have
a rainbow without orange.
51
00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:13,045
The shittiest color.
52
00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:14,960
That's right,
the color orange--
53
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,311
you've been Dadded!
54
00:02:17,311 --> 00:02:19,182
I get it.
Oh, well.
55
00:02:19,182 --> 00:02:21,228
I hope you have
an awful day.
56
00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:22,925
Thanks, I will...
57
00:02:22,925 --> 00:02:24,100
Ow!
58
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:25,449
Ugh! Dammit!
59
00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:29,497
A perfect start
to a terrible dayyyy!
60
00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:38,245
Mom.
Try and relax.
61
00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:41,465
Hi, I'm Jessica!
62
00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:43,163
Hi, Jessica,
I'm Francine!
63
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,642
I made you
a casserole!
64
00:02:46,122 --> 00:02:47,428
There's nothing
in there!
65
00:02:47,428 --> 00:02:49,734
I know!
I was too excited to make it!
66
00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:52,041
And I was too excited to go
to the store for lemons!
67
00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:53,825
This is just tap water
and mustard!
68
00:02:55,044 --> 00:02:58,003
Wha-ho-ho, trippy.
69
00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:01,050
Holy cow, Mr. Klaus,
70
00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:03,095
this fish looks
exactly like you!
71
00:03:03,095 --> 00:03:04,836
It does not.
I see it.
72
00:03:04,836 --> 00:03:06,229
Totally.
Like twins!
73
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:07,317
This is a bit.
74
00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:08,840
You guys are
joking on me.
75
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,625
It's got a big,
stupid head thing!
76
00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:12,279
Ah, you've met
my fish.
77
00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:14,194
I'm Donald.
And that's Kashi.
78
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,456
She's a sheepshead wrasse.
79
00:03:15,456 --> 00:03:16,544
That must be
80
00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:17,675
what you are, Klaus.
81
00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:20,678
Hey there, neighbor.
I'm Jake.
82
00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:22,767
Wanna hang out
in my Man Cave?
83
00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,029
My Dude Cavern?
84
00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:25,466
My Guy Hole?
85
00:03:25,466 --> 00:03:26,902
Guy Hole, you say?
86
00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:28,425
Lead the way.
87
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:32,777
Donald, those are
some sick frames.
88
00:03:32,777 --> 00:03:34,605
What's your
prescription?
89
00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:38,783
Right eye
minus five...
90
00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:41,177
Left eye minus four!
91
00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:43,223
Mm.
92
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,702
You guys
get high?
93
00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:47,314
Does your fish look
identical to Mr. Klaus?
94
00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:53,929
Little Boy:
Be right there, Mom!
Just gonna grab my kite!
95
00:03:53,929 --> 00:03:55,713
Okay, here we go.
96
00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:59,151
GAHHHH!
Perfect.
97
00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:06,637
Okay, the worst is over...
98
00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:08,596
Aah-ah! Aah!
99
00:04:13,209 --> 00:04:14,645
Wow.
100
00:04:14,645 --> 00:04:16,778
Our basement is unfinished,
but this is next level.
101
00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:18,693
It's the reason
I bought this house.
102
00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:20,608
Perfect conditions
for my hobby.
103
00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:22,305
I age my own blue cheese.
104
00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:24,046
Rip yourself off a chunk.
105
00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:27,354
Uhh...
106
00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:29,269
That took me six years
to make.
107
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,487
It's delicious.
108
00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:32,794
Can I tell you
how thrilled I am
109
00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:35,579
to finally have another woman
right next door?
110
00:04:35,579 --> 00:04:38,103
I'm thrilled you didn't run
for the hills
the moment we met.
111
00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:40,192
My family says
I come on a bit strong.
112
00:04:40,192 --> 00:04:41,585
Shut. Up.
113
00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:44,022
My family says
the same thing about me!
114
00:04:44,022 --> 00:04:46,721
O-M-G, hilarious!
115
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:48,592
But really, all I want
is for my family
116
00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,072
to be part
of a nice community.
117
00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:51,508
Me too!
118
00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:53,205
Frickin' sue me!
119
00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:09,874
The wind's
really good, Mom!
120
00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:13,051
I bet if my string was longer,
it could fly to the moon!
121
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:18,840
You know what, I got
a pretty good buzz goin'.
122
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,450
And since
it's your birthday--
123
00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:21,538
wait, right?
124
00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:23,235
Yeah.
Good.
125
00:05:23,235 --> 00:05:26,238
Because of that, how 'bout
we see how high we can fly
126
00:05:26,238 --> 00:05:28,328
that weird-ass kite of yours
together?
127
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,199
Do you really mean it?!
128
00:05:30,199 --> 00:05:31,418
Happy birthday.
129
00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:34,377
A big ball of twine?!
130
00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:37,249
This is the best
birthday ever!
131
00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:39,513
Ugh.
This is depressing.
132
00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:41,079
This is perfect.
133
00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:53,222
It's go time.
134
00:05:53,222 --> 00:05:56,617
I thought we were saying
- "it's show time" now?
- Right.
135
00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:58,836
By the way, Oscar-worthy
performance earlier
136
00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:00,272
pretending to like
the new neighbors.
137
00:06:00,272 --> 00:06:01,404
You weren't so bad yourself.
138
00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:02,492
Thanks.
139
00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:03,580
It's show time.
140
00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:04,973
I'll send the signal.
141
00:06:04,973 --> 00:06:06,844
I think I actually prefer
"it's go time."
142
00:06:06,844 --> 00:06:08,280
Whatever it is,
it's time.
143
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,021
Gather everyone while
I send the signal.
144
00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:11,501
It's show time.
145
00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:13,590
I think "show time"
would go better with these.
146
00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:16,027
I love it.
That's what we do now.
147
00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:29,127
Oooh, Stan's cauldron
is ablaze.
148
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:31,739
Oooh!
149
00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:45,666
Oh, Al, again on the toilet
for the cauldrons?
150
00:06:47,232 --> 00:06:49,234
Oh, surprise, surprise.
151
00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:52,586
Stan's using my cauldron again
without asking.
152
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,591
Bro.
153
00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:59,593
You promised no blow
until the afterparty.
154
00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:01,812
Jeez, Klaus.
I only did a teeny bit!
155
00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:03,292
I get excited
for these!
156
00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:04,815
Greg, please release
the banner--
157
00:07:04,815 --> 00:07:06,469
Whoo!
158
00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,079
Welcome,
Neighbor Haters.
159
00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:09,646
We're gathered here tonight
160
00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:11,605
because we got new neighbors
in town--
161
00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:13,520
- Aaaah!
- Chill, Greg.
162
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:16,827
Everyone, place a hand atop
The Book of Stolen Doormats
163
00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:19,395
as we recite our oath.
164
00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:22,572
We, the members of the Cherry
Street Neighbor Haters Club,
165
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:25,575
do solemnly swear
to drive away
all new neighbors,
166
00:07:25,575 --> 00:07:27,534
before they can annoy
the hell out of us...
167
00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:29,884
With their
"hey, how ya doin's"...
168
00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:31,625
And their
lawnmower fumes...
169
00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:35,803
And their "at this house
we believe in science" signs.
170
00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:37,065
And most of all,
171
00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:39,328
their disgusting,
unfamiliar faces
172
00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:41,286
and sometimes-hard-
to-remember names.
173
00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:42,636
Like Frank!
174
00:07:42,636 --> 00:07:44,507
Bye-bye, losers!
175
00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:47,858
Dad? Is there something wrong
with your damn hand?
176
00:07:47,858 --> 00:07:49,643
You didn't wave bye-bye
to the losers.
177
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:52,559
I knew those incredible
eagle eyes of yours
178
00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:55,387
would someday
come to haunt me.
179
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:58,260
I'm having second thoughts
about driving away
the new neighbors.
180
00:07:58,260 --> 00:08:00,218
Daddy, no!
181
00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:01,916
Daddy yes, Steve.
182
00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:03,526
Francine really
hit it off
183
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:05,180
with this new neighbor wife
last night.
184
00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:06,747
Of course she did!
185
00:08:06,747 --> 00:08:08,618
She loves neighbors.
186
00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:09,924
And we hate them!
187
00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:12,492
"Hey, how ya doin'?"
Puh!
188
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,755
Dad, the fact that Mom
hit it off with Jessica
189
00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:18,106
only means way more neighborly
things are on the horizon.
190
00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:19,368
Think about it.
191
00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:21,239
"Can we use
your pool, Stan?"
192
00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:23,067
"Can we borrow your hammer,
Stan?"
193
00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:25,548
Those are your things, Stan!
194
00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:27,463
I know just what
you need, Dad.
195
00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:29,247
Greg, hop on the keys.
196
00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:34,470
♪ It's a terrible day
here on Cherry Street ♪
197
00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:37,560
♪ A very bad day for
new neighbors to greet ♪
198
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:40,781
♪ Please don't be mine
199
00:08:40,781 --> 00:08:42,783
♪ Say you're not mine
200
00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:46,874
♪ I never want to have
new neighbors
especially you ♪
201
00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:51,052
♪ I'd much rather live in
a neighborhood without you ♪
202
00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:55,273
♪ So let's wipe the floor
with this horrible day ♪
203
00:08:55,273 --> 00:08:57,406
♪ And get
these new neighbors ♪
204
00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:59,582
♪ The [bleep] out our way
205
00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:01,584
♪ Please don't be mine
206
00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:03,717
♪ Say you're not mine!
207
00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:08,548
♪ Don't you be my neighbor!
208
00:09:09,505 --> 00:09:11,333
It's show time!
209
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:13,074
Whoa, you're adding
finger guns?
210
00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:17,165
Whoo!
Blam-blam!
211
00:09:17,165 --> 00:09:19,776
Blam-blam-blam!
Blam-blam-blam-blam-blam!
212
00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:21,038
Blam!
Blam-blam-blam!
213
00:09:21,038 --> 00:09:22,605
Guys, I need help!
214
00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:24,172
♪ Blam, blam-blam!
I can't stop shooting! ♪
215
00:09:24,172 --> 00:09:25,434
♪ Blam, blam-blam!
Whoa-oh, I'm Greggie! ♪
216
00:09:25,434 --> 00:09:26,696
♪ Blam, blam-blam!
217
00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:29,743
Headed somewhere, stud?
218
00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:32,963
Uh, Hayley.
219
00:09:32,963 --> 00:09:35,096
Um, I'm off to work,
in fact.
220
00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:38,273
Ooh, not with
such a durdy car, you're not.
221
00:09:38,273 --> 00:09:40,188
What?
I just had it washed.
222
00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:42,190
I saw the way you were looking
at me last night.
223
00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:46,586
Like I was a big
juicy meatball
you wanted to shred up!
224
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,892
Shred up a meatball?
225
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:54,158
That water's gotta
taste terrible.
226
00:09:54,158 --> 00:09:55,812
That can't taste good.
227
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,205
What's she doing?
228
00:09:57,205 --> 00:09:59,686
Francine, help!
229
00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:01,078
It's my Discman!
230
00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:02,819
I think there might be
something wrong with it!
231
00:10:02,819 --> 00:10:04,952
Can you have a listen?!
232
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:10,522
Oooh!
I love Gloria Estefan!
233
00:10:10,522 --> 00:10:14,265
♪ Feel the rhythm of the music
getting stronger...♪
234
00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:15,527
Whew!
235
00:10:15,527 --> 00:10:17,051
Please get off my car!
236
00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:18,487
I need to go to work!
237
00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:21,621
But I still have to
lick this baby dry...
238
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,492
Ungh, ahhh, ungh!
239
00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:25,276
Okay, that's enough!
240
00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:29,977
Yeah, use me
- like a sponge!
Hey!
241
00:10:29,977 --> 00:10:32,675
You tryin' to shred
my meatball, pal?!
242
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:35,112
I really don't know
what that means.
243
00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:37,288
Jeff, don't shoot!
244
00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:42,946
Shoot him, Jake!
He crazy!
245
00:10:42,946 --> 00:10:44,818
I'll kill you!
246
00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:46,080
Shoot him, shoot him,
shoot him!
247
00:11:01,095 --> 00:11:02,531
What have I done?!
248
00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:04,794
You killed Jeff,
that's what.
249
00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:08,580
It's my dad!
250
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:09,930
He works for the CIA.
251
00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:12,367
But don't worry,
he never liked Jeff.
252
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:13,716
He'll clean this mess up!
253
00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:14,935
Mmmwah!
254
00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:16,371
I'll always love you.
255
00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:18,895
Now gather your family,
get on that helicopter,
256
00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:20,636
and never look back!
257
00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:25,380
Stan!
Pick me up!
258
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:27,338
You gonna loop around
and scoop me?
259
00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:28,731
Do a loop and scoop?
260
00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:33,823
Shit.
I don't think he's loopin'.
261
00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:36,696
Damn kids.
262
00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:45,530
Stan!
The time to loop is nooooooow!
263
00:11:48,011 --> 00:11:52,102
Amazing performances today
by all.
264
00:11:52,102 --> 00:11:54,409
Especially you, babe.
265
00:11:54,409 --> 00:11:57,760
I really believed you when
you said Mr. S never liked me.
266
00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,153
Hey, acting
is believing.
267
00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:01,459
And believing the truth
is easy!
268
00:12:03,853 --> 00:12:06,073
Hey! Hey-Hey-Hey!
Everybody hold up!
269
00:12:06,073 --> 00:12:07,552
Please tell me
someone grabbed
270
00:12:07,552 --> 00:12:09,032
the neighbor's doormat
for the book?
271
00:12:09,032 --> 00:12:10,642
That's your job, Steve.
272
00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:13,210
My job was doing burn makeup
on what's-his-name!
273
00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:14,472
I thought Klaus--
274
00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:15,952
Bro, c'mon, man.
275
00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:19,042
You know every time,
you secure the doormat.
276
00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:22,567
You rascal!
277
00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:23,960
What an actor!
278
00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:33,796
Hey, where's the doormat?
279
00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:37,234
And I didn't wear
underwear today,
just to punk that thing.
280
00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:39,106
Guess I'm the one
who got punked.
281
00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:42,805
The heck?
282
00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:44,067
Hello?
283
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:45,416
Jessica?
284
00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:48,855
"Property of Al Tuttle.
285
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:51,771
Return to 1017 Cherry Street.
286
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,511
And feel free to ride me!"
287
00:12:53,511 --> 00:12:55,035
Okay!
288
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:00,649
This is so embarrassing.
289
00:13:00,649 --> 00:13:03,304
I better not run into
anyone I know up here.
290
00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:08,439
- Francine?!
- Aaaaah!
291
00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:09,832
Mother,
what brings you here?
292
00:13:09,832 --> 00:13:12,792
Oh, just returning
Tuttle's pogo stick
293
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,098
he left at our
neighbor's house.
294
00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:16,970
Being a good neighbor.
295
00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:19,102
Whew, I thought
you were onto us.
296
00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:20,974
I am onto you!
297
00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:23,498
What the hell are these
old neighbors' doormats
298
00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:25,065
doing in
this book?!
299
00:13:25,065 --> 00:13:27,981
And why is our son holding
Jessica's doormat?!
300
00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:29,460
Oh, that's easy.
301
00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:31,419
Because we haven't put it
in our doormat book yet.
302
00:13:31,419 --> 00:13:33,290
What's a doormat book?!
303
00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:36,206
I-I have to be honest, I don't
know anything about any book.
304
00:13:36,206 --> 00:13:37,773
Who brought this here?
305
00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:40,689
Can someone besides this moron
answer my questions?
306
00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:42,778
We're the Cherry Street
Neighbor Haters Club!
307
00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:44,432
We chased 'em
out of town, okay?
308
00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:45,694
Hayley!
309
00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:47,652
Your mother and I demand
to know why!
310
00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:49,785
Stan, I know
you're part of this.
311
00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:51,613
Francine,
I can explain.
312
00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:54,398
It all started years ago
with the Schumacher family.
313
00:13:54,398 --> 00:13:55,922
You remember
how terrible they were--
314
00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:57,575
Those people
sucked so hard.
315
00:13:57,575 --> 00:13:59,099
And then there were
the Tuckers.
316
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:00,665
Ohhh!
Suck suck suckers!
317
00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:01,884
The Klepners!
318
00:14:01,884 --> 00:14:03,799
- The Goldricks!
- The Memaris!
319
00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:05,888
They were all perfectly
good neighbors!
320
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,890
Well, by then it was
probably more about
321
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:09,326
the fun we were having
together--
322
00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:10,719
"The fun"?!
Aah!
323
00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:12,634
But the fun
stops now.
324
00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:14,157
I promise.
325
00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:16,290
Pff, I ain't
- promising shit.
- I mean it, Hayley.
326
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:18,553
This is the last family
we chase out.
327
00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:21,469
And the first family
you bring back!
328
00:14:21,469 --> 00:14:24,167
Get the damn
neighbors back!
329
00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:39,617
Thanks for putting this
gals brunch together, Jess.
330
00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:42,098
It's so great having you
back next door.
331
00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:43,578
Of course.
332
00:14:43,578 --> 00:14:46,798
Hayley, in this house,
it's no elbows on the table.
333
00:14:46,798 --> 00:14:48,931
Oh, sorry. Gosh.
334
00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:51,412
- She serious?
- It's basic manners, Hayley.
335
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:53,893
I hope fresh-squeezed
is okay?
336
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,938
Mmm,
with a little vodka?
337
00:14:55,938 --> 00:14:57,287
Yes, please.
338
00:14:57,287 --> 00:14:59,594
Sorry.
We're a sober house.
339
00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:01,117
Oh!
340
00:15:01,117 --> 00:15:03,728
Now, that's awesome.
341
00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:06,296
Why, you should
give it a try, Francine.
342
00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:09,734
Elbows off
the table, Mom.
343
00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:11,954
Say, whatcha cookin',
Jess?
344
00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:13,956
My famous scrambled eggs.
345
00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:15,653
They're perfectly fluffy.
346
00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:17,742
Ooh, I make 'em
fluffy, too.
347
00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:19,048
The secret is...
348
00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:20,397
half 'n half. Water.
349
00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:21,659
Water?
350
00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:24,358
No, sorry,
but it's half 'n half
351
00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:26,316
that makes a scrambled egg fluffier.
352
00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:28,710
No, it's not.
It's just plain water.
353
00:15:31,234 --> 00:15:34,107
I want that bitch gone!
354
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,373
I want
that bitch gone!
355
00:15:39,373 --> 00:15:41,679
Okay, that's seven door kicks, Francine.
356
00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,638
You're ruining our door
and our game!
357
00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:46,336
When I'm pissed off,
I kick doors!
358
00:15:46,336 --> 00:15:48,251
That's the woman
you married, baby!
359
00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:50,688
And those neighbors
need to go!
360
00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:52,690
But you just had us
get them back.
361
00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:54,605
That was before I knew
Jessica was
362
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:57,695
a weirdo, water-in-her-eggs,
sober nerd.
363
00:15:57,695 --> 00:15:59,523
Ah, she doesn't drink.
364
00:15:59,523 --> 00:16:01,177
She does not drink!
365
00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:03,049
I screwed up, okay?
366
00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:04,441
But now I get it.
367
00:16:04,441 --> 00:16:06,443
And I've been sober
all morning!
368
00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:08,315
Whose fault is that,
Francine?
369
00:16:08,315 --> 00:16:09,577
The neighbors!
370
00:16:09,577 --> 00:16:11,361
That's whose
fault it is!
371
00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:13,450
Hey, she is
starting to get it!
372
00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:15,104
Cheers to that!
373
00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:19,979
Cheers to that!
374
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:24,374
And cheersto that.
375
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,770
You may need to get
some help, Mrs. S.
376
00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:32,078
Help getting that family
out of here!
377
00:16:37,474 --> 00:16:39,999
That satellite is my ticket
back to Earth.
378
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,479
Just gotta grab a solar panel
and steer it home--
379
00:16:43,567 --> 00:16:45,874
Wheeeee!
380
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:51,140
How come we can't think
of anything?
381
00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:53,447
We've never had trouble
getting neighbors out before.
382
00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:54,796
Let's face it, guys.
383
00:16:54,796 --> 00:16:56,885
We've got
schemer's block.
384
00:16:56,885 --> 00:16:59,322
I know
what we need!
385
00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:01,542
- It's cocaine.
- Yeah, definitely cocaine.
386
00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:03,239
Cocaine!
387
00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:07,374
I say we get rockets
and a buttload of duct tape
388
00:17:07,374 --> 00:17:09,071
and blast the neighbor's house
off our street!
389
00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:10,768
- Love that!
- Oh-ho, that's good!
390
00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:12,205
Steve, tell me
you got that down!
391
00:17:12,205 --> 00:17:13,858
I'm having trouble
keeping up, Dad.
392
00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:16,165
A-Are you sure I shouldn't
have just a little taste?
393
00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:17,732
Just give him
a gummer, Stan.
394
00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:19,255
You crazy?!
395
00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:20,952
Kid's got huge gums,
there won't be enough for us!
396
00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:23,129
What if I wear the neighbor's
house like a big hat
397
00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:25,479
with all the family
stuffed inside
398
00:17:25,479 --> 00:17:27,959
and just walk 'em out
of our neighborhood for good?
399
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:30,353
Yessss,
Tuttle, yesss!
400
00:17:30,353 --> 00:17:31,746
These ideas are fire!
401
00:17:31,746 --> 00:17:33,487
Steve, are you getting down
all the fire?
402
00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:35,097
I'm doing my best!
403
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:36,577
Now snap a pic--
God!
404
00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:38,970
The camera on this phone
is so [bleep] good!
405
00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:40,929
I can see, like,
chalk particles!
406
00:17:40,929 --> 00:17:42,844
Hurry, Stan!
We need to print that pic
407
00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:45,325
and execute the plan now,
while our highs are peaking.
408
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:46,804
Oh!
Jessica has a printer.
409
00:17:46,804 --> 00:17:48,632
And I'm still connected
to her Wi-Fi!
410
00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:50,286
Bam!
Just texted you the plans.
411
00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:52,984
When we get over there,
Francine will find the printer
412
00:17:52,984 --> 00:17:54,986
on the sly
and print one for everyone.
413
00:17:54,986 --> 00:17:57,076
We can all sign one,
and I'll get it framed!
414
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,425
Oh, I love
the frame shop.
415
00:17:58,425 --> 00:17:59,904
People love me
at the frame shop.
416
00:17:59,904 --> 00:18:01,210
What am I doing
with my life?
417
00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:02,646
I should work
at the frame shop!
418
00:18:03,952 --> 00:18:05,606
Okay, okay!
He's got the job!
419
00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:09,697
I gotta get
a picture.
420
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,135
[gasps] Oh, no!
421
00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:15,964
I just sent our plans
to the neighbor's printer!
422
00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:18,097
Back to
Cherry Streeeeet!
423
00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:21,274
With this piece
of satellite,
424
00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:25,060
I'll be able to steer any
passing meteor down to Earth.
425
00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:26,931
Now to wait for a meteor...
426
00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:28,455
Hmm, let's see...
427
00:18:28,455 --> 00:18:31,675
Maybe some attention-grabbin'
ass wagglin'.
428
00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:35,462
Wow, these meteors
are thirs--
429
00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:38,639
...teeeeeee!
430
00:18:38,639 --> 00:18:41,163
Huell Howser:
So, you're the one responsible
431
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:43,426
for baking all these pies.
432
00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:46,429
No, these are
rotisserie chickens.
433
00:18:46,429 --> 00:18:49,171
Wooooowww!
That's amazing!
434
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,173
Even the boysenberry?!
435
00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:53,784
That's a cash register. Wooooow!
436
00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:56,657
Is somebody
printing something?
437
00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:58,180
Where's your printer?!
438
00:18:58,180 --> 00:18:59,616
Where's your printer,
where's your printer?!
439
00:18:59,616 --> 00:19:02,141
Ahhhhhhh!
440
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,404
Everyone!
Get ready to execute!
441
00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:05,666
Aah!
442
00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:07,842
We need to get
out of here, now!
443
00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:11,672
A little more west, aaand...
444
00:19:11,672 --> 00:19:13,804
that should put me down
in our pool.
445
00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:15,197
Found the printer!
446
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:18,157
Are they gonna
hurt us, Mom?
447
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,855
No, Donald.
They must be on drugs.
448
00:19:20,855 --> 00:19:22,509
They need our help.
449
00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:25,076
Jess-i-caaa!
450
00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:29,690
Half 'n half makes fluffier
scrambled e-ee-eggs!
451
00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:31,213
Francine, please!
452
00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:32,823
This isn't the real you!
453
00:19:32,823 --> 00:19:35,739
You've had too much caffeine!
Or sugar, maybe!
454
00:19:35,739 --> 00:19:37,872
Oh, God,
I hope it's not both!
455
00:19:37,872 --> 00:19:40,788
But we're not gonna
abandon you
in your time of need!
456
00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:43,182
As long as our house
is next to yours,
457
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:46,402
we're gonna be with you
every step of the way!
458
00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:47,664
Missed the pool.
459
00:19:53,931 --> 00:19:55,890
I did the math!
460
00:19:56,673 --> 00:19:58,197
Howdy, neighbors!
461
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,242
We're not
your neighbors anymore!
462
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:01,548
What she said!
463
00:20:03,114 --> 00:20:06,292
Aw, please tell me
you saved me a gummer.
464
00:20:09,817 --> 00:20:12,994
I'd just like to thank you all
for letting me
465
00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:15,431
in your little
neighbor-hating club.
466
00:20:15,431 --> 00:20:18,042
Did we have
that vote yet?
467
00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:20,697
And even though you've been
hiding this club
468
00:20:20,697 --> 00:20:22,438
from me for years,
469
00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:26,268
I'm willing to forgive you all
because being in this club
470
00:20:26,268 --> 00:20:29,358
is exactly
the sense of community
471
00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:31,665
that I've been
longing for!
472
00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,536
So, like,
do we meet every night?
473
00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:35,234
'Cause I'm available.
474
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,757
And like, what should I wear?
475
00:20:36,757 --> 00:20:38,628
Whoa, eager beaver
alert!
476
00:20:38,628 --> 00:20:40,500
Pump the brakes,
Mrs. S.
477
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:42,328
Yeah, pump the beaver, Mom.
478
00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:47,289
Little boy:
I'll be right there, Mom!
479
00:20:49,204 --> 00:20:52,120
Whoa!
Awesome new space kite!
480
00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:53,774
Happy birthday, kiddo.
481
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,257
Bye! Have a great time!