1 00:00:01,044 --> 00:00:04,482 ♪ 2 00:00:04,482 --> 00:00:07,268 Moving-truck-moving-truck- moving-truck-moving-truck! 3 00:00:07,268 --> 00:00:09,574 We're getting new neighbors! 4 00:00:09,574 --> 00:00:12,273 Mom, back away from the window. 5 00:00:12,273 --> 00:00:14,188 Niiice and sloooow. 6 00:00:14,188 --> 00:00:15,928 You don't wanna scare 'em off, do ya? 7 00:00:15,928 --> 00:00:17,191 [muffled] I won't do that! 8 00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:18,888 Git her, Mr. S! 9 00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:20,063 Let me go! 10 00:00:20,063 --> 00:00:21,934 I'm not gonna scare 'em away! 11 00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:24,024 [straining] Yes, you will. 12 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:27,157 Why do you think no new neighbors ever stick around? 13 00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:29,812 You do tend to come on too strong, Francine. 14 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,076 [sighing] I know I do... 15 00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:35,078 I just get excited. 16 00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:37,863 Excited to grow our little community. 17 00:00:37,863 --> 00:00:39,126 Frickin' sue me. 18 00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:40,518 [horn honks] 19 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,088 [gasps] There's a dad. 20 00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:48,396 And a... young single dad, maybe? 21 00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:50,398 That's a teenage girl. 22 00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:52,922 I know because I see them on the CW. 23 00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:57,144 [muffled] A wiiiife! 24 00:00:57,144 --> 00:01:01,235 There's a wiiiiiffffeee! 25 00:01:01,235 --> 00:01:06,457 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. 26 00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:10,287 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 27 00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:13,421 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 28 00:01:13,421 --> 00:01:17,860 ♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪ 29 00:01:19,688 --> 00:01:23,126 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say 30 00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:25,563 ♪ Good-- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. 31 00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:26,651 Aah! 32 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:31,265 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. 33 00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:32,918 [dish rattling] 34 00:01:32,918 --> 00:01:35,399 Just havin' a stare at the front door again, Franny? 35 00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:36,618 Me? No. 36 00:01:36,618 --> 00:01:38,359 I'm trying to calm my nerves 37 00:01:38,359 --> 00:01:40,404 before we welcome the new neighbors. 38 00:01:40,404 --> 00:01:42,102 Isn't that in like four hours? 39 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,538 You know what they say, 40 00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:45,192 early bird gets the great neighbors 41 00:01:45,192 --> 00:01:46,976 and the thriving community. 42 00:01:46,976 --> 00:01:48,673 Well, it has a nice ring to it. 43 00:01:48,673 --> 00:01:51,154 I might start saying it myself, but it won't be today. 44 00:01:51,154 --> 00:01:52,938 Today, I'm a boy's kite. 45 00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:54,636 And I have to be hanging in his shed 46 00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:56,507 before his deadbeat mom gets there. 47 00:01:56,507 --> 00:01:58,683 She visits him once a year on his birthday 48 00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:00,337 and they take me out and fly me. 49 00:02:00,337 --> 00:02:01,904 That sounds depressing. 50 00:02:01,904 --> 00:02:03,514 That's the point. 51 00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:06,038 All the time, I'm having so much fun with my personas. 52 00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:08,432 But you can't have the highs without the lows. 53 00:02:08,432 --> 00:02:11,305 Just like you can't have a rainbow without orange. 54 00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:13,045 The shittiest color. 55 00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:14,960 Announcer: That's right, the color orange-- 56 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,311 you've been Dadded! 57 00:02:17,311 --> 00:02:19,182 I get it. Oh, well. 58 00:02:19,182 --> 00:02:21,228 I hope you have an awful day. 59 00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:22,925 Thanks, I will... 60 00:02:22,925 --> 00:02:24,100 [clang!] Ow! 61 00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:25,449 Ugh! Dammit! 62 00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:29,497 A perfect start to a terrible dayyyy! 63 00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:31,934 [dish rattling] 64 00:02:33,109 --> 00:02:35,285 [laughs nervously] 65 00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:36,373 [doorbell rings] 66 00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:38,245 Mom. Try and relax. 67 00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:40,203 [breathes deeply] 68 00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:41,465 Hi, I'm Jessica! 69 00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:43,163 Hi, Jessica, I'm Francine! 70 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,642 I made you a casserole! 71 00:02:46,122 --> 00:02:47,428 There's nothing in there! 72 00:02:47,428 --> 00:02:49,734 I know! I was too excited to make it! 73 00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:52,041 And I was too excited to go to the store for lemons! 74 00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:53,825 This is just tap water and mustard! 75 00:02:55,044 --> 00:02:58,003 Wha-ho-ho, trippy. 76 00:02:58,003 --> 00:02:59,396 [dishes rattling] 77 00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:01,050 Holy cow, Mr. Klaus, 78 00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:03,095 this fish looks exactly like you! 79 00:03:03,095 --> 00:03:04,836 It does not. I see it. 80 00:03:04,836 --> 00:03:06,229 Totally. Like twins! 81 00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:07,317 This is a bit. 82 00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:08,840 You guys are joking on me. 83 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,625 It's got a big, stupid head thing! 84 00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:12,279 Ah, you've met my fish. 85 00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:14,194 I'm Donald. And that's Kashi. 86 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,456 She's a sheepshead wrasse. 87 00:03:15,456 --> 00:03:16,544 That must be 88 00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:17,675 what you are, Klaus. 89 00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:20,678 Hey there, neighbor. I'm Jake. 90 00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:22,767 Wanna hang out in my Man Cave? 91 00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,029 My Dude Cavern? 92 00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:25,466 My Guy Hole? 93 00:03:25,466 --> 00:03:26,902 Guy Hole, you say? 94 00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:28,425 Lead the way. 95 00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:32,777 Donald, those are some sick frames. 96 00:03:32,777 --> 00:03:34,605 What's your prescription? 97 00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:38,783 Right eye minus five... 98 00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:41,177 Left eye minus four! 99 00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:43,223 Mm. 100 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,702 You guys get high? 101 00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:47,314 Does your fish look identical to Mr. Klaus? 102 00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:51,274 ♪ 103 00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:53,929 Little Boy: Be right there, Mom! Just gonna grab my kite! 104 00:03:53,929 --> 00:03:55,713 Okay, here we go. 105 00:03:55,713 --> 00:03:57,324 [door creaks open] 106 00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:59,151 GAHHHH! Perfect. 107 00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:01,719 [grunting] 108 00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:06,637 Okay, the worst is over... 109 00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:08,596 [electricity zapping] Aah-ah! Aah! 110 00:04:13,209 --> 00:04:14,645 Wow. 111 00:04:14,645 --> 00:04:16,778 Our basement is unfinished, but this is next level. 112 00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:18,693 It's the reason I bought this house. 113 00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:20,608 Perfect conditions for my hobby. 114 00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:22,305 I age my own blue cheese. 115 00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:24,046 Rip yourself off a chunk. 116 00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:27,354 Uhh... 117 00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:29,269 That took me six years to make. 118 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,487 [muffled] It's delicious. 119 00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:32,794 Can I tell you how thrilled I am 120 00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:35,579 to finally have another woman right next door? 121 00:04:35,579 --> 00:04:38,103 I'm thrilled you didn't run for the hills the moment we met. 122 00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:40,192 My family says I come on a bit strong. 123 00:04:40,192 --> 00:04:41,585 Shut. Up. 124 00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:44,022 My family says the same thing about me! 125 00:04:44,022 --> 00:04:46,721 O-M-G, hilarious! 126 00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:48,592 But really, all I want is for my family 127 00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,072 to be part of a nice community. 128 00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:51,508 Me too! 129 00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:53,205 [together] Frickin' sue me! 130 00:04:53,205 --> 00:04:54,859 [both laugh] 131 00:04:54,859 --> 00:04:56,557 ♪ 132 00:04:56,557 --> 00:04:58,733 [laughter] 133 00:04:58,733 --> 00:05:05,740 ♪ 134 00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:09,874 The wind's really good, Mom! 135 00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:13,051 I bet if my string was longer, it could fly to the moon! 136 00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:15,315 [belches] 137 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:18,840 You know what, I got a pretty good buzz goin'. 138 00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,450 And since it's your birthday-- 139 00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:21,538 wait, right? 140 00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:23,235 Yeah. Good. 141 00:05:23,235 --> 00:05:26,238 Because of that, how 'bout we see how high we can fly 142 00:05:26,238 --> 00:05:28,328 that weird-ass kite of yours together? 143 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,199 [gasps] Do you really mean it?! 144 00:05:30,199 --> 00:05:31,418 Happy birthday. 145 00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:34,377 A big ball of twine?! 146 00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:37,249 This is the best birthday ever! 147 00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:39,513 Ugh. This is depressing. 148 00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:41,079 This is perfect. 149 00:05:41,079 --> 00:05:47,521 ♪ 150 00:05:47,521 --> 00:05:50,001 [door creaks] 151 00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:53,222 [knocks] It's go time. 152 00:05:53,222 --> 00:05:56,617 I thought we were saying - "it's show time" now? - Right. 153 00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:58,836 By the way, Oscar-worthy performance earlier 154 00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:00,272 pretending to like the new neighbors. 155 00:06:00,272 --> 00:06:01,404 You weren't so bad yourself. 156 00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:02,492 Thanks. 157 00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:03,580 It's show time. 158 00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:04,973 I'll send the signal. 159 00:06:04,973 --> 00:06:06,844 I think I actually prefer "it's go time." 160 00:06:06,844 --> 00:06:08,280 Whatever it is, it's time. 161 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,021 Gather everyone while I send the signal. 162 00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:11,501 It's show time. 163 00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:13,590 I think "show time" would go better with these. 164 00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:16,027 I love it. That's what we do now. 165 00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:24,296 ♪ 166 00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:29,127 Oooh, Stan's cauldron is ablaze. 167 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:31,739 Oooh! 168 00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:38,789 ♪ 169 00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:45,666 Oh, Al, again on the toilet for the cauldrons? 170 00:06:47,232 --> 00:06:49,234 Oh, surprise, surprise. 171 00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:52,586 Stan's using my cauldron again without asking. 172 00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:56,416 ♪ 173 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,591 Bro. 174 00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:59,593 You promised no blow until the afterparty. 175 00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:01,812 Jeez, Klaus. I only did a teeny bit! 176 00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:03,292 I get excited for these! 177 00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:04,815 Greg, please release the banner-- 178 00:07:04,815 --> 00:07:06,469 Whoo! 179 00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,079 Welcome, Neighbor Haters. 180 00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:09,646 We're gathered here tonight 181 00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:11,605 because we got new neighbors in town-- 182 00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:13,520 - Aaaah! - Chill, Greg. 183 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:16,827 Everyone, place a hand atop The Book of Stolen Doormats 184 00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:19,395 as we recite our oath. 185 00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:22,572 We, the members of the Cherry Street Neighbor Haters Club, 186 00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:25,575 do solemnly swear to drive away all new neighbors, 187 00:07:25,575 --> 00:07:27,534 before they can annoy the hell out of us... 188 00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:29,884 With their "hey, how ya doin's"... 189 00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:31,625 And their lawnmower fumes... 190 00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:35,803 And their "at this house we believe in science" signs. 191 00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:37,065 And most of all, 192 00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:39,328 their disgusting, unfamiliar faces 193 00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:41,286 and sometimes-hard- to-remember names. 194 00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:42,636 Like Frank! 195 00:07:42,636 --> 00:07:44,507 [together] Bye-bye, losers! 196 00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:47,858 Dad? Is there something wrong with your damn hand? 197 00:07:47,858 --> 00:07:49,643 You didn't wave bye-bye to the losers. 198 00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:52,559 I knew those incredible eagle eyes of yours 199 00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:55,387 would someday come to haunt me. 200 00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:58,260 I'm having second thoughts about driving away the new neighbors. 201 00:07:58,260 --> 00:08:00,218 [all gasp] Daddy, no! 202 00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:01,916 Daddy yes, Steve. 203 00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:03,526 Francine really hit it off 204 00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:05,180 with this new neighbor wife last night. 205 00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:06,747 Of course she did! 206 00:08:06,747 --> 00:08:08,618 She loves neighbors. 207 00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:09,924 And we hate them! 208 00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:12,492 "Hey, how ya doin'?" Puh! 209 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,755 Dad, the fact that Mom hit it off with Jessica 210 00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:18,106 only means way more neighborly things are on the horizon. 211 00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:19,368 Think about it. 212 00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:21,239 "Can we use your pool, Stan?" 213 00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:23,067 "Can we borrow your hammer, Stan?" 214 00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:25,548 Those are your things, Stan! 215 00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:27,463 I know just what you need, Dad. 216 00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:29,247 Greg, hop on the keys. 217 00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:34,470 ♪ It's a terrible day here on Cherry Street ♪ 218 00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:37,560 ♪ A very bad day for new neighbors to greet ♪ 219 00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:40,781 ♪ Please don't be mine 220 00:08:40,781 --> 00:08:42,783 ♪ Say you're not mine 221 00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:46,874 ♪ I never want to have new neighbors especially you ♪ 222 00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:51,052 ♪ I'd much rather live in a neighborhood without you ♪ 223 00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:55,273 [together] ♪ So let's wipe the floor with this horrible day ♪ 224 00:08:55,273 --> 00:08:57,406 ♪ And get these new neighbors ♪ 225 00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:59,582 ♪ The [bleep] out our way 226 00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:01,584 ♪ Please don't be mine 227 00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:03,717 ♪ Say you're not mine! 228 00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:08,548 ♪ Don't you be my neighbor! 229 00:09:09,505 --> 00:09:11,333 It's show time! 230 00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:13,074 Whoa, you're adding finger guns? 231 00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:15,598 [all murmuring] 232 00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:17,165 Whoo! Blam-blam! 233 00:09:17,165 --> 00:09:19,776 Blam-blam-blam! Blam-blam-blam-blam-blam! 234 00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:21,038 Blam! Blam-blam-blam! 235 00:09:21,038 --> 00:09:22,605 Guys, I need help! 236 00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:24,172 ♪ Blam, blam-blam! I can't stop shooting! ♪ 237 00:09:24,172 --> 00:09:25,434 ♪ Blam, blam-blam! Whoa-oh, I'm Greggie! ♪ 238 00:09:25,434 --> 00:09:26,696 ♪ Blam, blam-blam! 239 00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:29,743 Hayley: [huskily] Headed somewhere, stud? 240 00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:32,963 Uh, Hayley. 241 00:09:32,963 --> 00:09:35,096 Um, I'm off to work, in fact. 242 00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:38,273 [baby talk] Ooh, not with such a durdy car, you're not. 243 00:09:38,273 --> 00:09:40,188 What? I just had it washed. 244 00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:42,190 I saw the way you were looking at me last night. 245 00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:46,586 Like I was a big juicy meatball you wanted to shred up! 246 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,892 Shred up a meatball? 247 00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:51,025 [gurgling] 248 00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:54,158 That water's gotta taste terrible. 249 00:09:54,158 --> 00:09:55,812 That can't taste good. 250 00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,205 What's she doing? 251 00:09:57,205 --> 00:09:59,686 [panting] Francine, help! 252 00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:01,078 It's my Discman! 253 00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:02,819 I think there might be something wrong with it! 254 00:10:02,819 --> 00:10:04,952 Can you have a listen?! 255 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:10,522 Oooh! I love Gloria Estefan! 256 00:10:10,522 --> 00:10:14,265 ♪ Feel the rhythm of the music getting stronger...♪ 257 00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:15,527 Whew! 258 00:10:15,527 --> 00:10:17,051 Please get off my car! 259 00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:18,487 I need to go to work! 260 00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:21,621 But I still have to lick this baby dry... 261 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,492 Ungh, ahhh, ungh! 262 00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:25,276 Okay, that's enough! 263 00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:29,977 Yeah, use me - like a sponge! - Jeff: Hey! 264 00:10:29,977 --> 00:10:32,675 You tryin' to shred my meatball, pal?! 265 00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:35,112 I really don't know what that means. 266 00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:37,288 Jeff, don't shoot! 267 00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:39,203 [screaming] 268 00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:42,946 Shoot him, Jake! He crazy! 269 00:10:42,946 --> 00:10:44,818 I'll kill you! 270 00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:46,080 Shoot him, shoot him, shoot him! 271 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,908 [Jeff screaming] 272 00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:50,432 ["Conga" plays] 273 00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:51,955 [screaming] 274 00:11:01,095 --> 00:11:02,531 What have I done?! 275 00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:04,794 You killed Jeff, that's what. 276 00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:07,318 [helicopter blades whirring] 277 00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:08,580 It's my dad! 278 00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:09,930 He works for the CIA. 279 00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:12,367 But don't worry, he never liked Jeff. 280 00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:13,716 He'll clean this mess up! 281 00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:14,935 Mmmwah! 282 00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:16,371 I'll always love you. 283 00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:18,895 Now gather your family, get on that helicopter, 284 00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:20,636 and never look back! 285 00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:25,380 Roger: Stan! Pick me up! 286 00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:27,338 You gonna loop around and scoop me? 287 00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:28,731 Do a loop and scoop? 288 00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:33,823 Shit. I don't think he's loopin'. 289 00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:36,696 Damn kids. 290 00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:45,530 Stan! The time to loop is nooooooow! 291 00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:48,011 ♪ 292 00:11:48,011 --> 00:11:52,102 Amazing performances today by all. 293 00:11:52,102 --> 00:11:54,409 Especially you, babe. 294 00:11:54,409 --> 00:11:57,760 I really believed you when you said Mr. S never liked me. 295 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,153 Hey, acting is believing. 296 00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:01,459 And believing the truth is easy! 297 00:12:01,459 --> 00:12:03,853 [laughter] 298 00:12:03,853 --> 00:12:06,073 Hey! Hey-Hey-Hey! Everybody hold up! 299 00:12:06,073 --> 00:12:07,552 Please tell me someone grabbed 300 00:12:07,552 --> 00:12:09,032 the neighbor's doormat for the book? 301 00:12:09,032 --> 00:12:10,642 That's your job, Steve. 302 00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:13,210 My job was doing burn makeup on what's-his-name! 303 00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:14,472 I thought Klaus-- 304 00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:15,952 Bro, c'mon, man. 305 00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:19,042 You know every time, you secure the doormat. 306 00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:22,567 You rascal! 307 00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:23,960 What an actor! 308 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,310 [laughter] 309 00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:33,796 Hey, where's the doormat? 310 00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:37,234 And I didn't wear underwear today, just to punk that thing. 311 00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:39,106 Guess I'm the one who got punked. 312 00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:40,977 [door creaks] 313 00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:42,805 The heck? 314 00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:44,067 Hello? 315 00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:45,416 Jessica? 316 00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:48,855 "Property of Al Tuttle. 317 00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:51,771 Return to 1017 Cherry Street. 318 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,511 And feel free to ride me!" 319 00:12:53,511 --> 00:12:55,035 Okay! 320 00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:00,649 This is so embarrassing. 321 00:13:00,649 --> 00:13:03,304 I better not run into anyone I know up here. 322 00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:06,524 [laughter] 323 00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:08,439 - Francine?! - Aaaaah! 324 00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:09,832 Mother, what brings you here? 325 00:13:09,832 --> 00:13:12,792 Oh, just returning Tuttle's pogo stick 326 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,098 he left at our neighbor's house. 327 00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:16,970 Being a good neighbor. 328 00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:19,102 Whew, I thought you were onto us. 329 00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:20,974 I am onto you! 330 00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:23,498 What the hell are these old neighbors' doormats 331 00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:25,065 doing in this book?! 332 00:13:25,065 --> 00:13:27,981 And why is our son holding Jessica's doormat?! 333 00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:29,460 Oh, that's easy. 334 00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:31,419 Because we haven't put it in our doormat book yet. 335 00:13:31,419 --> 00:13:33,290 What's a doormat book?! 336 00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:36,206 I-I have to be honest, I don't know anything about any book. 337 00:13:36,206 --> 00:13:37,773 Who brought this here? 338 00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:40,689 Can someone besides this moron answer my questions? 339 00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:42,778 We're the Cherry Street Neighbor Haters Club! 340 00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:44,432 We chased 'em out of town, okay? 341 00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:45,694 [gasps] Hayley! 342 00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:47,652 Your mother and I demand to know why! 343 00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:49,785 Stan, I know you're part of this. 344 00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:51,613 Francine, I can explain. 345 00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:54,398 It all started years ago with the Schumacher family. 346 00:13:54,398 --> 00:13:55,922 You remember how terrible they were-- 347 00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:57,575 Those people sucked so hard. 348 00:13:57,575 --> 00:13:59,099 And then there were the Tuckers. 349 00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:00,665 Ohhh! Suck suck suckers! 350 00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:01,884 The Klepners! 351 00:14:01,884 --> 00:14:03,799 - The Goldricks! - The Memaris! 352 00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:05,888 They were all perfectly good neighbors! 353 00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,890 Well, by then it was probably more about 354 00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:09,326 the fun we were having together-- 355 00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:10,719 "The fun"?! Aah! 356 00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:12,634 But the fun stops now. 357 00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:14,157 I promise. 358 00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:16,290 Pff, I ain't - promising shit. - I mean it, Hayley. 359 00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:18,553 This is the last family we chase out. 360 00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:21,469 And the first family you bring back! 361 00:14:21,469 --> 00:14:24,167 Get the damn neighbors back! 362 00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:36,527 ♪ 363 00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:39,617 Thanks for putting this gals brunch together, Jess. 364 00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:42,098 It's so great having you back next door. 365 00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:43,578 Of course. 366 00:14:43,578 --> 00:14:46,798 Hayley, in this house, it's no elbows on the table. 367 00:14:46,798 --> 00:14:48,931 Oh, sorry. Gosh. 368 00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:51,412 - She serious? - It's basic manners, Hayley. 369 00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:53,893 I hope fresh-squeezed is okay? 370 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,938 Mmm, with a little vodka? 371 00:14:55,938 --> 00:14:57,287 Yes, please. 372 00:14:57,287 --> 00:14:59,594 Sorry. We're a sober house. 373 00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:01,117 Oh! 374 00:15:01,117 --> 00:15:03,728 Now, that's awesome. 375 00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:06,296 Why, you should give it a try, Francine. 376 00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:09,734 Elbows off the table, Mom. 377 00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:11,954 Say, whatcha cookin', Jess? 378 00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:13,956 My famous scrambled eggs. 379 00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:15,653 They're perfectly fluffy. 380 00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:17,742 Ooh, I make 'em fluffy, too. 381 00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:19,048 The secret is... 382 00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:20,397 half 'n half. Water. 383 00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:21,659 Water? 384 00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:24,358 No, sorry, but it's half 'n half 385 00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:26,316 that makes a scrambled egg fluffier. 386 00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:28,710 No, it's not. It's just plain water. 387 00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:31,234 [door bangs] 388 00:15:31,234 --> 00:15:34,107 I want that bitch gone! 389 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:36,936 [door bangs] 390 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,373 I want that bitch gone! 391 00:15:39,373 --> 00:15:41,679 Okay, that's seven door kicks, Francine. 392 00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,638 You're ruining our door and our game! 393 00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:46,336 When I'm pissed off, I kick doors! 394 00:15:46,336 --> 00:15:48,251 That's the woman you married, baby! 395 00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:50,688 And those neighbors need to go! 396 00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:52,690 But you just had us get them back. 397 00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:54,605 That was before I knew Jessica was 398 00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:57,695 a weirdo, water-in-her-eggs, sober nerd. 399 00:15:57,695 --> 00:15:59,523 Ah, she doesn't drink. 400 00:15:59,523 --> 00:16:01,177 She does not drink! 401 00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:03,049 I screwed up, okay? 402 00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:04,441 But now I get it. 403 00:16:04,441 --> 00:16:06,443 And I've been sober all morning! 404 00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:08,315 Whose fault is that, Francine? 405 00:16:08,315 --> 00:16:09,577 The neighbors! 406 00:16:09,577 --> 00:16:11,361 That's whose fault it is! 407 00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:13,450 Hey, she is starting to get it! 408 00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:15,104 Cheers to that! 409 00:16:15,104 --> 00:16:18,238 [cheering] 410 00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:19,979 Cheers to that! 411 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,242 [halfhearted cheering] 412 00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:24,374 And cheersto that. 413 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,770 You may need to get some help, Mrs. S. 414 00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:32,078 Help getting that family out of here! 415 00:16:32,078 --> 00:16:33,905 [cheering] 416 00:16:33,905 --> 00:16:37,474 [beeping] 417 00:16:37,474 --> 00:16:39,999 That satellite is my ticket back to Earth. 418 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,479 Just gotta grab a solar panel and steer it home-- 419 00:16:42,479 --> 00:16:43,567 [bang] 420 00:16:43,567 --> 00:16:45,874 Wheeeee! 421 00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:49,443 ♪ 422 00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:51,140 How come we can't think of anything? 423 00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:53,447 We've never had trouble getting neighbors out before. 424 00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:54,796 Let's face it, guys. 425 00:16:54,796 --> 00:16:56,885 We've got schemer's block. 426 00:16:56,885 --> 00:16:59,322 I know what we need! 427 00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:01,542 - It's cocaine. - Yeah, definitely cocaine. 428 00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:03,239 Cocaine! 429 00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:05,328 [teeth chattering] 430 00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:07,374 I say we get rockets and a buttload of duct tape 431 00:17:07,374 --> 00:17:09,071 and blast the neighbor's house off our street! 432 00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:10,768 - Love that! - Oh-ho, that's good! 433 00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:12,205 Steve, tell me you got that down! 434 00:17:12,205 --> 00:17:13,858 I'm having trouble keeping up, Dad. 435 00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:16,165 A-Are you sure I shouldn't have just a little taste? 436 00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:17,732 Just give him a gummer, Stan. 437 00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:19,255 You crazy?! 438 00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:20,952 Kid's got huge gums, there won't be enough for us! 439 00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:23,129 What if I wear the neighbor's house like a big hat 440 00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:25,479 with all the family stuffed inside 441 00:17:25,479 --> 00:17:27,959 and just walk 'em out of our neighborhood for good? 442 00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:30,353 Yessss, Tuttle, yesss! 443 00:17:30,353 --> 00:17:31,746 These ideas are fire! 444 00:17:31,746 --> 00:17:33,487 Steve, are you getting down all the fire? 445 00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:35,097 I'm doing my best! 446 00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:36,577 Now snap a pic-- God! 447 00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:38,970 The camera on this phone is so [bleep] good! 448 00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:40,929 I can see, like, chalk particles! 449 00:17:40,929 --> 00:17:42,844 Hurry, Stan! We need to print that pic 450 00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:45,325 and execute the plan now, while our highs are peaking. 451 00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:46,804 Oh! Jessica has a printer. 452 00:17:46,804 --> 00:17:48,632 And I'm still connected to her Wi-Fi! 453 00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:50,286 Bam! Just texted you the plans. 454 00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:52,984 When we get over there, Francine will find the printer 455 00:17:52,984 --> 00:17:54,986 on the sly and print one for everyone. 456 00:17:54,986 --> 00:17:57,076 We can all sign one, and I'll get it framed! 457 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,425 Oh, I love the frame shop. 458 00:17:58,425 --> 00:17:59,904 People love me at the frame shop. 459 00:17:59,904 --> 00:18:01,210 What am I doing with my life? 460 00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:02,646 I should work at the frame shop! 461 00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:03,952 [fingers drumming] 462 00:18:03,952 --> 00:18:05,606 Okay, okay! He's got the job! 463 00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:07,521 [cheering] 464 00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:09,697 I gotta get a picture. 465 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,135 [beep][gasps] Oh, no! 466 00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:15,964 I just sent our plans to the neighbor's printer! 467 00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:18,097 Back to Cherry Streeeeet! 468 00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:21,274 With this piece of satellite, 469 00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:25,060 I'll be able to steer any passing meteor down to Earth. 470 00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:26,931 Now to wait for a meteor... 471 00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:28,455 Hmm, let's see... 472 00:18:28,455 --> 00:18:31,675 Maybe some attention-grabbin' ass wagglin'. 473 00:18:31,675 --> 00:18:33,590 [whooshing] 474 00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:35,462 Wow, these meteors are thirs-- 475 00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:38,639 [bang] ...teeeeeee! 476 00:18:38,639 --> 00:18:41,163 Huell Howser: So, you're the one responsible 477 00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:43,426 for baking all these pies. 478 00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:46,429 No, these are rotisserie chickens. 479 00:18:46,429 --> 00:18:49,171 Wooooowww! That's amazing! 480 00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,173 Even the boysenberry?! 481 00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:53,784 That's a cash register. Wooooow! 482 00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:56,657 [whirring] Is somebody printing something? 483 00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:58,180 [door bangs] Where's your printer?! 484 00:18:58,180 --> 00:18:59,616 Where's your printer, where's your printer?! 485 00:18:59,616 --> 00:19:02,141 Ahhhhhhh! 486 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,404 Everyone! Get ready to execute! 487 00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:05,666 Aah![glass shatters] 488 00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:07,842 We need to get out of here, now! 489 00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:11,672 A little more west, aaand... 490 00:19:11,672 --> 00:19:13,804 that should put me down in our pool. 491 00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:15,197 Tuttle: Found the printer! 492 00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:16,459 [glass shatters] 493 00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:18,157 Are they gonna hurt us, Mom? 494 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,855 No, Donald. They must be on drugs. 495 00:19:20,855 --> 00:19:22,509 They need our help. 496 00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:25,076 [thumping] Francine: Jess-i-caaa! 497 00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:29,690 Half 'n half makes fluffier scrambled e-ee-eggs! 498 00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:31,213 Francine, please! 499 00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:32,823 This isn't the real you! 500 00:19:32,823 --> 00:19:35,739 You've had too much caffeine! Or sugar, maybe! 501 00:19:35,739 --> 00:19:37,872 Oh, God, I hope it's not both! 502 00:19:37,872 --> 00:19:40,788 But we're not gonna abandon you in your time of need! 503 00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:43,182 As long as our house is next to yours, 504 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:46,402 we're gonna be with you every step of the way! 505 00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:47,664 Roger: Missed the pool. 506 00:19:47,664 --> 00:19:49,840 [explosion] 507 00:19:53,931 --> 00:19:55,890 I did the math! 508 00:19:56,673 --> 00:19:58,197 Howdy, neighbors! 509 00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,242 [screaming] We're not your neighbors anymore! 510 00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:01,548 Jake: What she said! 511 00:20:03,114 --> 00:20:06,292 Aw, please tell me you saved me a gummer. 512 00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:09,817 ♪ 513 00:20:09,817 --> 00:20:12,994 I'd just like to thank you all for letting me 514 00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:15,431 in your little neighbor-hating club. 515 00:20:15,431 --> 00:20:18,042 Did we have that vote yet? 516 00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:20,697 And even though you've been hiding this club 517 00:20:20,697 --> 00:20:22,438 from me for years, 518 00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:26,268 I'm willing to forgive you all because being in this club 519 00:20:26,268 --> 00:20:29,358 is exactly the sense of community 520 00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:31,665 that I've been longing for! 521 00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,536 So, like, do we meet every night? 522 00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:35,234 'Cause I'm available. 523 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,757 And like, what should I wear? 524 00:20:36,757 --> 00:20:38,628 Whoa, eager beaver alert! 525 00:20:38,628 --> 00:20:40,500 Pump the brakes, Mrs. S. 526 00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:42,328 Yeah, pump the beaver, Mom. 527 00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:47,289 Little boy: I'll be right there, Mom! 528 00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:49,204 [door creaks open] 529 00:20:49,204 --> 00:20:52,120 Whoa! Awesome new space kite! 530 00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:53,774 Happy birthday, kiddo. 531 00:20:53,774 --> 00:20:56,255 [screams] 532 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,257 Bye! Have a great time! 533 00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:02,086 ♪