1
00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:04,879
FRANCINE: Ready?
2
00:00:04,879 --> 00:00:06,214
Uh-huh.
3
00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:08,550
FRANCINE: No peeking!
4
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:11,302
Okay!
5
00:00:11,302 --> 00:00:14,347
- SMITH: Promise?
- Just get the hell on with it already!
6
00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:15,849
HAYLEY: All right, open your eyes.
7
00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:20,770
Okay, jock, princess, nerd, stoner.
8
00:00:20,770 --> 00:00:22,897
You're The Breakfast Club?
9
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:25,442
We're Scooby-Doo, ya jackalope!
10
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:28,945
Steve, did you wax your legs?
11
00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:30,697
- No.
- I did.
12
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,532
I wanted to be Velma.
13
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:33,742
(ALL LAUGHING)
14
00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:38,204
Hey, I can be more
than just a "dumb stoner," you know?
15
00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:40,457
Can you? No.
16
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:41,541
No, I don't think so.
17
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:44,419
You're a natural-born Shaggy, babe.
18
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,588
(CHUCKLES) It's true.
19
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,757
Best to stay in your lane, bro.
20
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:51,092
Speaking of, you're Scooby.
21
00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:53,720
Oh, what, 'cause I'm, like, your pet?
22
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,972
Screw that! Why can't Roger do it?
23
00:00:55,972 --> 00:00:58,016
Because Roger is in London,
24
00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:01,144
living out his lifelong dream
of playing Rumpleteazer
25
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,188
in a West End revival of Cats.
26
00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:05,356
Oh, yeah.
27
00:01:05,356 --> 00:01:07,692
Look, we all have our roles
in the family,
28
00:01:07,692 --> 00:01:10,737
and you two are kinda the comic relief.
29
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,365
Come on, it's time to go to Danuta's
Halloween party.
30
00:01:14,365 --> 00:01:16,409
Wait, wasn't Dad gonna drive us?
31
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:18,369
Yeah. Where is Dad, anyway?
32
00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:21,372
Did he never come home from work?
33
00:01:21,956 --> 00:01:23,249
Dad?
34
00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:25,126
Stan?
35
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,045
Dad?
36
00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:29,422
Stan?
37
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:31,466
Dan?
38
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:32,967
I mean,
39
00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:34,594
Stad?
40
00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:35,970
No answer.
41
00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:37,263
Oh, my God.
42
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:40,433
It's Halloween night, and Stan is
43
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:41,935
missing!
44
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:43,770
{\an8}(SPOOKY MUSIC PLAYING)
45
00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:55,365
{\an8}Still no answer from your dad.
46
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:58,159
{\an8}Well, gang, looks like
we've got a mystery on our hands.
47
00:01:58,159 --> 00:02:01,162
{\an8}This is bullshit.
Pigeonholing us like this.
48
00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:03,498
{\an8}We're not just a couple
of bumbling idiots.
49
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:05,625
{\an8}Yeah! We're that and more!
50
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:08,461
{\an8}That's right.
I'm not just a fish who says "bro".
51
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:12,048
{\an8}I'm complex. I have layers. Contradictions.
52
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:13,675
{\an8}Me, too. I've got that stuff, too!
53
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:15,635
{\an8}I have a New Yorker subscription.
54
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,762
{\an8}Right now,
I've got a stack of New Yorkers
55
00:02:17,762 --> 00:02:20,390
{\an8}in my alcove halfway
to the damn ceiling,
56
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:23,768
{\an8}and one of these days,
I'm gonna read 'em, too! No joke!
57
00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:25,478
{\an8}I'm a certified doula.
58
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:28,606
{\an8}Does that mess up
your tidy little idea of who I am?
59
00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:31,359
{\an8}And I have a surprising
amount of upper-body strength.
60
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,155
{\an8}Yeah! Go! Go! Go!
61
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:36,990
{\an8}(GROANS)
62
00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,117
{\an8}HAYLEY: What's all that racket
back there?
63
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:42,495
{\an8}It's the sound of us being unique,
multi-faceted individuals!
64
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:44,330
{\an8}- Yeah.
- HAYLEY: We're here.
65
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:45,957
{\an8}Whoa.
66
00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:49,919
{\an8}I don't remember Stan's office
being quite so terrifying.
67
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:51,004
{\an8}(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
68
00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:56,134
{\an8}This place is totally deserted.
69
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,344
{\an8}And it looks like everyone left
in a hurry.
70
00:02:58,344 --> 00:03:01,389
{\an8}- Probably scared off by the monster.
- Yeah.
71
00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:03,975
{\an8}Monster? That's ridiculous.
72
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:05,894
{\an8}Look around, Francine!
73
00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:09,189
{\an8}This whole situation
is clearly going full Scooby.
74
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,858
{\an8}It's only a matter of time
before we're being chased around
75
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:15,111
{\an8}by a Wolfman
to some generic '60s pop song.
76
00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:17,697
{\an8}In Scooby-Doo,
the monsters are never real.
77
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:20,074
Yeah, but that's a TV show.
78
00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:22,202
This is real life.
79
00:03:23,786 --> 00:03:24,787
Monster.
80
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:27,665
Monster.
81
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:31,586
{\an8}- Monster.
- Monster.
82
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:34,589
{\an8}Would you two give it a rest?
There's no monster.
83
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:36,174
- (THUMPING)
- (ALL GASP)
84
00:03:36,507 --> 00:03:38,426
Sorry. I thought you were
85
00:03:38,426 --> 00:03:39,802
the monster.
86
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,013
Told ya.
87
00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:48,311
(GRUNTS)
88
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:50,480
There. Now,
89
00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:53,191
can I offer anyone a Topo Chico?
90
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:54,317
Yeah, I'll take one.
91
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:56,152
Nice costumes, by the way.
92
00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:58,196
They made us be Shaggy and Scooby,
93
00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:01,491
even though
we're multi-fascinating individuals.
94
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:02,617
Never mind that.
95
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:04,953
What is going on around here
and where's our dad...
96
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,622
I'm not even anything like Shaggy.
97
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:08,748
Zoinks!
98
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:13,962
This holds the answers
to your questions.
99
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:17,840
It all started with a crisis
of the utmost urgency,
100
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:20,551
when I, who I've always thought
101
00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:22,512
look a hell of a lot like
Chris Hemsworth,
102
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:25,556
discovered evidence that someone
103
00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:29,686
was using my private executive bathroom.
104
00:04:29,852 --> 00:04:32,939
So I, who in another way see myself
105
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:35,775
very much as a Jason Momoa type,
106
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:39,487
tapped my very nearest man, Stan Smith,
107
00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:43,491
to get to the bottom
of this fecal feloniousness.
108
00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:47,161
You can imagine my shock
when he shocked me
109
00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:49,664
with some truly shocking news!
110
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:53,209
The culprit was supernatural in nature.
111
00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:56,713
{\an8}A monstrous ancient demon known as
112
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:59,507
{\an8}the Soul Snatcher!
113
00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:01,175
I was all like this.
114
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:06,514
Knowing I'd never be able to set foot
in my bathroom again
115
00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:08,683
until this threat was eliminated,
116
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:13,730
I put Stan in charge
of a new top-secret unit. Z.O.I.N.C.S.
117
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:16,274
The Zoroastrian, Occult,
118
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:20,695
{\an8}Inter-dimensional
and Non-rational Creature Section.
119
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,324
It's basically a Monster Squad.
120
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:25,742
ALL: Oh!
121
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:26,868
KLAUS: Yeah. Okay.
122
00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:28,536
Now, I don't know why,
123
00:05:28,536 --> 00:05:32,332
but earlier tonight, the Soul Snatcher
was somehow unleashed,
124
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:35,793
and went on a soul-snatching rampage.
125
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:37,712
That's why everyone's gone.
126
00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:40,715
That, and the building's
being sprayed for termites.
127
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:41,966
So, where's Stan?
128
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:44,344
Probably got his dang soul snatched.
129
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,764
If I were you,
I'd get out of here while you still can.
130
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,724
Not a chance.
131
00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,352
Or, I don't know, should we just go?
132
00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:56,981
No. We're not leaving here
without our dad.
133
00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:58,149
- Right?
- Right.
134
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:00,443
Come on, gang. Let's go investigate.
135
00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:06,282
I think you look like Humpty Dumpty.
136
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,744
Anyone find any evidence?
137
00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:12,497
Only that your dad's been eating
Taco Bell again.
138
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,499
There's literally nothing in his desk
139
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:17,502
besides fast food wrappers
and loose bullets.
140
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:21,881
{\an8}Maybe these shady-looking characters
had something to do with it.
141
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:23,341
{\an8}Jeff, that's us.
142
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:26,427
- Pay dirt!
- What'd you find?
143
00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:29,138
I just won this sick-ass
Jurassic World shot glass
144
00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:30,515
I've been bidding on, on eBay.
145
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:31,599
You know what?
146
00:06:31,599 --> 00:06:34,894
Why don't you and Jeff go
find a snack, or something.
147
00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:37,647
No way. We want to help find Mr. S.
148
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:38,981
Yeah, this is serious.
149
00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:42,568
Exactly. And all you guys are gonna do
is get in the way.
150
00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:45,154
You don't know that.
We could surprise you.
151
00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:46,572
Could you?
152
00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:49,033
No. No, I don't think so.
153
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:50,368
Maybe we should split up.
154
00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:53,413
So, that's it, huh?
155
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:56,416
Would it be weird for you
if I asked out Nerfer?
156
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,168
I meant split up into groups
to search the building.
157
00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:01,170
I knew that! Fine.
158
00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:04,590
Come on, pal. Let's go and find a snack.
159
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:07,176
I actually am pretty hungry.
160
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:13,808
But now, how the (BLEEP) am I
supposed to eat it?
161
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:16,853
We'll show them we're more
than just a pair of boobs.
162
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,313
(SNICKERS) "Pair of boobs."
163
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:23,401
We're gonna find Stan
and solve the mystery of...
164
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:26,028
What was the monster called again?
165
00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:29,365
(STAMMERS) The Soul Snatcher!
166
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:33,202
No, it definitely started
with a "chuh" sound.
167
00:07:33,327 --> 00:07:34,412
Chainsaw Charlie.
168
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:37,540
CREEPY VOICE: I've come
to take your souls!
169
00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:38,958
(BOTH SCREAM)
170
00:07:44,922 --> 00:07:46,257
What was that you said again?
171
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:49,302
CREEPY VOICE: I've come
to take your souls!
172
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,429
(BOTH SCREAM)
173
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,431
Dang it.
174
00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:56,851
There's not supposed to be any people
in the building right now.
175
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,895
We're spraying, for Pete's sake.
176
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,439
Why'd you say you were gonna
take our souls?
177
00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:04,901
I was talking to the termites
in the drywall behind you.
178
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,944
I enjoy taunting them, okay?
179
00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:08,779
Well, we'll get out of your hair.
180
00:08:08,779 --> 00:08:12,533
Okay. You guys have yourselves
a fantastic evening.
181
00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:14,160
Now, termites...
182
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:17,705
Time to send you to hell!
183
00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:22,251
I don't think I've ever been
in this part of the CIA before.
184
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:28,799
(FAKE SNORING)
185
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,636
A dead end?
186
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:34,597
Must be some kind of
secret passageway or something.
187
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,349
Hundred bucks it's that candle up there.
188
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,517
Why?
189
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:40,061
It's the only thing
with that thick-ass outline.
190
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,653
What is this place?
191
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,488
Z.O.I.N.C.S. headquarters.
192
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:53,282
These are all the evil artifacts
we've come across in our hunt
193
00:08:53,282 --> 00:08:57,662
for supernatural monsters like,
just to name a few, the bogeyman,
194
00:08:57,662 --> 00:09:00,540
- the bogeywoman, and the...
- Wolfman!
195
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:05,545
(CHUCKLES) That's not the Wolfman!
That's Agent Wolfman.
196
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,631
He's got that cool '70s style going,
with the big sideburns.
197
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:10,383
Thanks. Topo Chico?
198
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,343
Yeah, I'll get one of those.
199
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,555
What happened to our dad?
200
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,515
It's too horrible to say.
201
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:19,850
No, I'll never tell.
202
00:09:19,850 --> 00:09:21,894
- Please?
- Well, okay.
203
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:26,691
{\an8}Stan was gung-ho
for gettin' them ghouls and goblins.
204
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:29,110
But I couldn't help noticing
we hadn't made any progress
205
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:31,195
{\an8}on our primary objective.
206
00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:35,491
So, earlier tonight, Stan held a seance
207
00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:38,160
to summon and apprehend
the Soul Snatcher.
208
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,580
But then it all went wrong.
209
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,832
- Terribly wrong?
- Exactly.
210
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:45,418
The lights went out,
there was a terrible roar,
211
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,921
and I heard Stan's soul being devoured
by that beast!
212
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:51,382
He was saying things like,
"Oh, no, my soul!"
213
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:54,093
And, "It's eating my soul!"
And so forth.
214
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,428
I'm sorry.
215
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,014
But at least we'll be safe
from that Soul Snatcher in here...
216
00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,390
Oh, my God! There it is!
217
00:10:00,891 --> 00:10:02,643
- (GROWLS)
- Run!
218
00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:04,478
We're not getting anywhere!
219
00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:06,272
Speak for yourself! I'm...
220
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,608
(GRUNTS) Makin' some progress!
221
00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:11,861
(YELPS)
222
00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:13,404
(ALL PANTING)
223
00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:15,364
Sorry, I just mopped.
224
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:18,409
Mr. S?
225
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,661
Stan?
226
00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:23,080
Soul Snatcher?
227
00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:25,875
Chainsaw Charlie?
228
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:29,587
(SIGHS) No sign of Stan
or the monster anywhere.
229
00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,839
And we've looked in four places now.
230
00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:33,966
Maybe there is no monster.
231
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:36,761
Or maybe the monster is just, like,
232
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,220
a metaphor.
233
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,388
Right.
234
00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:42,475
Like, maybe we're the monster.
235
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,352
Society.
236
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,729
The man in the mirror.
237
00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:58,074
(WATER RUNNING)
238
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:01,577
Thanks.
239
00:11:03,871 --> 00:11:05,039
(TEETH CHATTERING)
240
00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:10,169
What's gotten into you, pal?
241
00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:12,004
It's the m-m-m...
242
00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:14,674
The m-m-m... Mailman?
243
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:16,425
I hate that guy!
244
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,970
I'm sorry.
Okay, what I'm trying to say is...
245
00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:21,097
(CLEARS THROAT)
246
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:22,598
Hummina, hummina, hummina.
247
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:23,849
(GASPS)
248
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:26,686
'Scuse us.
249
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:27,895
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
250
00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:43,452
(GROWLS)
251
00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:48,165
Like, I've heard of a floor-stop,
but a floor-drop?
252
00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:50,501
You've heard of a "floor-stop"?
253
00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:54,338
(MUSIC STOPS)
254
00:11:54,338 --> 00:11:56,006
Snatcher! You're late again!
255
00:11:56,006 --> 00:11:58,676
I need 200 copies
of the Henderson file, ASAP!
256
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:01,637
We gotta FedEx 27 to Boston,
32 to Austin,
257
00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:03,931
63 to "Stone Cold" Steve Austin,
258
00:12:03,931 --> 00:12:06,267
and 116 to the band Boston.
259
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:08,310
- Now, get to work!
- Now, get to work!
260
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:09,395
(KISSES)
261
00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:13,441
(GRUMBLES)
262
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:18,195
(ROARS)
263
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:23,284
Why do they have so many
identical paintings?
264
00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:25,286
We buy them in bulk at World Market.
265
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:26,454
(GRUNTS)
266
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:29,415
Jeff! Lead it this way! We set a trap!
267
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,085
(MONSTER ROARS)
268
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:38,215
Whoa!
269
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:46,557
Time to reveal who this so-called
Soul Snatcher really is.
270
00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,392
I wonder who it'll be.
271
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:51,103
(SCOFFS) They still don't know.
272
00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:52,730
- (LAUGHS) Oh, my God.
- Hold up.
273
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:55,357
If you're so much smarter than us,
274
00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:58,402
how about you tell us who it is
before we look.
275
00:12:58,402 --> 00:13:00,529
- Fine. The exterminator.
- Dr. Weitzman.
276
00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:02,323
- What?
- I say it's Roger.
277
00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:03,449
But Roger's in London.
278
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:06,577
Living out his lifelong dream
of playing Rumpleteazer
279
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:08,370
in a West End revival of Cats.
280
00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:10,289
Oh, yeah.
281
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,501
Ha! Did none of you notice
how it was Stan
282
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:16,712
who told Bullock
there was a monster in the first place?
283
00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:21,550
Stan, who was probably the one using
Bullock's private bathroom.
284
00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:26,597
Because Taco Bell is one
of his IBS super-triggers.
285
00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:30,935
Meaning that it just might be...
286
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:35,064
ALL: Agent Wolfman?
287
00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:36,440
Just as I thought.
288
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:39,068
- (CELL PHONE CHIMES)
- It's Stan.
289
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,778
He's at Danuta's party.
290
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:45,741
I guess maybe we actually said
we'd just meet him there?
291
00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:49,620
Um, has anybody noticed
that Agent Wolfman here isn't moving?
292
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:53,082
Oh, my God. Is this thing airtight?
293
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,250
No pulse.
294
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,585
- (ALL GASP)
- Oh, my God! We killed him!
295
00:13:56,752 --> 00:13:58,087
(ALL PANTING)
296
00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,756
It was self-defense, right?
297
00:14:00,756 --> 00:14:03,217
He was pretending to be a monster!
298
00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:05,052
Is that even a crime?
299
00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:08,389
Why'd you trap him
in an airtight sarcophagus?
300
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:10,766
Why'd you stop us from opening it?
301
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:13,769
JACKSON: Hey, open up the wall!
I need to get in there to mop!
302
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:14,895
(ALL GASP)
303
00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:18,607
- What are we gonna do?
- Oh, God, we're gonna go to jail!
304
00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:19,692
No, wait!
305
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,735
I found another secret passageway.
306
00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:25,698
All you gotta do
is punch through the drywall
307
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,324
a few times.
308
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:31,328
Then give it a few good chops!
309
00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:32,872
Grab that monster costume!
310
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,374
Maybe everyone'll just think
the Soul Snatcher killed him.
311
00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:42,089
KLAUS: Ruh-roh.
312
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:44,425
- Am I right?
- STEVE: Not now, Klaus!
313
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:51,932
I don't know what happened
to all you suckbois last night,
314
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,809
but you missed a kick-ass party.
315
00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:57,062
Plus, I got myself out of work early
to get in a little trick-or-treating.
316
00:14:57,062 --> 00:15:00,357
Oh, nice! Big-ass Nerds Rope.
317
00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:02,192
We killed a man!
318
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:05,237
What was that now? Actually,
tell me later. Gotta get to work.
319
00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:08,324
I've got a crazy awesome
new secret job there now.
320
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:10,034
Top secret. Can't tell you about it.
321
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,243
It's called Z.O.I.N.C.S.
322
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:13,412
Super classified.
I've said too much already.
323
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:16,248
Z.O.I.N.C.S. is like the X-Files,
and I'm in charge of it.
324
00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:19,084
But again,
I can't really say anything about it.
325
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:21,045
Ghosts are real. Gotta motor.
326
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:27,426
- What the hell, Jeff?
- I'm sorry!
327
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:30,387
I'm just having some difficulty with the
328
00:15:30,387 --> 00:15:31,931
murdering that we did.
329
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,432
We are all on the hook for this.
330
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:37,019
So we all need to be able to trust
each other to keep our mouths shut.
331
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:39,104
To be rock solid.
332
00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:41,774
Show of hands. Who here is solid?
333
00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:44,234
(JEFF WHIMPERS)
334
00:15:51,825 --> 00:15:54,203
{\an8}(SIGHS) Nothing but Bamm-Bamms.
335
00:15:57,998 --> 00:15:59,249
(SCREAMS)
336
00:16:02,836 --> 00:16:04,213
(EXHALES IN RELIEF)
337
00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:07,383
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC STING PLAYS)
338
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,135
(YELPS)
339
00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:13,180
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC STING PLAYS)
340
00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:16,225
I saw him, Klaus. I swear.
341
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:18,727
Agent Wolfman's ghost.
342
00:16:18,727 --> 00:16:22,272
Please don't say anything.
Everyone'll just think I'm losing it.
343
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:24,108
I've got your back, bro.
344
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:27,152
You and me, we've been through a lot.
345
00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:28,779
We gotta stick together.
346
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,699
We've got a big problem with Jeff.
347
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:34,535
- Probably gonna have to kill him.
- You guys!
348
00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:36,328
Oh, hi!
349
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:38,163
Look what just came in the mail.
350
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,544
This is impossible. He's dead!
351
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:46,797
Well, whether it really is
Agent Wolfman or not,
352
00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:48,590
somebody knows what we did.
353
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:51,301
And he's coming for us.
354
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:53,012
Also, this came from Roger.
355
00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:56,265
Roger's in London?
356
00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:58,183
What was he doing again?
357
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,024
Great rehearsal, everybody.
358
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,026
How's that scratch lookin', Osman?
359
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,610
Oh, I got ya pretty good, huh?
360
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:11,113
Sorry about that.
Kinda just got lost in the moment.
361
00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:15,367
Hey, Jovan, can I have your boba tea?
I already finished all my little balls.
362
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,331
(IN COCKNEY ACCENT)
What's all this, then? (CHUCKLES)
363
00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:23,125
Oh, I read about these guys
364
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:26,170
in a review of
National Lampoon's European Vacation.
365
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,672
They're not supposed
to ever even crack a smile.
366
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:31,133
Well, I betcha I can get
a reaction out of him.
367
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:34,511
(UNZIPPING)
368
00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:36,638
(ROGER EXCLAIMING)
369
00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:38,474
(WOMAN GASPS)
370
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:44,188
No one can resist chuckling
at my silly little chicken-man dance.
371
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:46,106
(EXCLAIMING)
372
00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:48,442
Nothing, huh?
373
00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:50,527
Well, what if I go for your gun?
374
00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:53,322
Deported! Right before opening night.
375
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,157
This was a lifelong dream!
376
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:57,117
I'm sorry, no pets in the cabin.
377
00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:58,660
I'm not actually a cat.
378
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:02,331
You see, until this afternoon,
I was fifth understudy for Rumpleteazer
379
00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:04,249
and 16th for Grizabella in a...
380
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:07,211
Well, ain't this a mother (BLEEP).
381
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:11,632
Look what I found in my locker!
382
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:14,259
Look what I found in my locker!
383
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:17,054
At the gym. I go to a UFC gym.
384
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:18,263
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
385
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:23,185
OMINOUS VOICE: Revenge.
386
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:25,771
(GASPS) Who could be doing this to us?
387
00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:27,940
Maybe we could ask
388
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,817
(GULPS) him!
389
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:32,736
(ALL SCREAM)
390
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:38,534
We'll be safe in the haunted woods!
391
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:44,039
Wait, are we really about to do
another chase sequence?
392
00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:45,874
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
393
00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:55,259
- (MUSIC STOPS)
- Ow!
394
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,010
(ALL GRUNT)
395
00:18:57,886 --> 00:18:59,263
(ALL WHIMPER)
396
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:02,015
KLAUS: Hey! Wolfie!
397
00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:08,063
Yeah, I'm proficient
with gaucho weaponry.
398
00:19:08,063 --> 00:19:12,025
Just one of the many facets
that makes me so complex.
399
00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:15,445
It's a mask.
400
00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:18,574
Then let's find out
who this phony phantom really is.
401
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,784
OTHERS: Jeff Fischer?
402
00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:22,327
Surprised?
403
00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:24,037
But... What?
404
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,455
Then who's this?
405
00:19:26,456 --> 00:19:28,041
ALL: Old Man Bullock?
406
00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:30,502
"Old man"? (BLEEP) you!
407
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,129
What the hell is going on here?
408
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:34,047
Go ahead and tell 'em, Mr. Buttock.
409
00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:36,300
Explanation time!
410
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:39,678
I, the spitting image of Henry Cavill,
411
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:42,222
was behind it all the whole time.
412
00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:46,518
I planted clues to make Stan
think the Soul Snatcher was about.
413
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:50,063
I posed as Agent Wolfman
to keep tabs on Z.O.I.N.C.S.
414
00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:52,900
and make sure
they didn't figure it all out.
415
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:58,363
Then, when I saw Stan's little phony
seance act the night of Halloween,
416
00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:01,074
{\an8}I decided it was the perfect time
417
00:20:01,074 --> 00:20:03,285
to don my Soul Snatcher costume
418
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:06,163
and really put the scare in everyone.
419
00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:08,332
But why?
420
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:10,709
To keep people out of my crapper!
421
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:15,505
But when I saw how you all treated
poor Jeff, I sympathized.
422
00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:19,760
So, I approached Jeff
with a proposition.
423
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,429
To take over the role of Agent Wolfman
424
00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:27,017
and show you all he is capable
of defying your expectations.
425
00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:29,853
Wow. That's convoluted.
426
00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:32,147
How did you make it
so you didn't have a pulse?
427
00:20:32,147 --> 00:20:33,815
Wim Hof method!
428
00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:35,359
Well, my work here is done.
429
00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:40,113
{\an8}So, I'm just going to go ahead
and walk deeper into the woods now.
430
00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:48,372
{\an8}You know, maybe we have always
thought of you as just a stoner
431
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:50,540
{\an8}and a fish who says "bro,"
432
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:53,085
{\an8}but you two are full of surprises.
433
00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:56,255
{\an8}Thanks.
434
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:59,424
{\an8}Now, let's go home and smoke some weed.
435
00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:01,093
{\an8}Sounds good to me, bro.