1
00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:08,573
I can't believe this is
our last Calculus class.
2
00:00:08,573 --> 00:00:09,922
Well, don't worry.
3
00:00:09,922 --> 00:00:11,228
If it's anything
like the others,
4
00:00:11,228 --> 00:00:12,577
it'll feel like
a lifetime.
5
00:00:12,577 --> 00:00:14,666
[laughs]
6
00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:17,887
I'm going to miss
all your little jokes,
Steve Smith.
7
00:00:17,887 --> 00:00:20,194
I still can't believe
you're about to graduate.
8
00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:22,761
And follow Billie Eilish
on tour!
9
00:00:22,761 --> 00:00:24,154
So cool!
10
00:00:24,154 --> 00:00:25,590
I'm hoping to meet her
11
00:00:25,590 --> 00:00:27,810
'cause I think she knows
who my real dad is.
12
00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:30,073
I know it's the last day,
13
00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:33,076
but I'm gonna have to
reteach you everything!
14
00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:35,209
I just found out that at
the start of the school year,
15
00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:37,080
one of my colleagues
pranked me and switched
16
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:40,170
my teacher's edition
with one full of bullshit,
17
00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:42,607
and that's what I've been
teaching you all year.
18
00:00:42,607 --> 00:00:45,219
Thank God none of us
were paying attention,
am I right?
19
00:00:45,219 --> 00:00:47,090
[all laughing]
That's it.
20
00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:49,962
You guys don't respect me,
I don't make squat,
21
00:00:49,962 --> 00:00:52,704
and I have to cram for my test
on the milkshake machine
22
00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:55,098
before my shift
at Bobby Freeze,
23
00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:57,840
which starts in
nine minutes?
24
00:01:00,016 --> 00:01:01,974
Hey, are you going to
25
00:01:01,974 --> 00:01:04,281
Vince Chung's
end-of-the-year bash
tonight?
26
00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:05,543
I doubt it.
27
00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:07,067
His party is
invite-only
28
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,938
and he only liked me
when I had boobs.
29
00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:11,114
[laughs]
30
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:14,552
Tell you what,
since you've been
making me laugh all year
31
00:01:14,552 --> 00:01:15,988
and it is our last
week together
32
00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:17,990
before I follow Billie
on the road,
33
00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:21,298
if you do show up to
Vince Chung's party tonight...
34
00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:23,953
I'll give you
a handjob...
35
00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:26,564
[echoing] Handjob...
36
00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:31,656
Handjob...
37
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:36,139
[opening theme music playing]
38
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:38,968
♪ Good morning, USA
39
00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:42,319
♪ I got a feeling
That it's gonna be
A wonderful day
40
00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:45,453
♪ The sun in the sky
Has a smile on his face
41
00:01:45,453 --> 00:01:49,196
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
To the American race
42
00:01:51,981 --> 00:01:55,158
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say
43
00:01:55,158 --> 00:01:57,595
♪ Good morning, USA
44
00:01:57,595 --> 00:01:58,640
Ah!
45
00:02:00,337 --> 00:02:03,210
CHORUS: ♪ Good morning, USA
46
00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:05,255
This is it, man!
47
00:02:05,255 --> 00:02:07,257
It's finally happening
for you!
48
00:02:07,257 --> 00:02:10,042
You're going to
become a man!
49
00:02:10,042 --> 00:02:11,783
I'm not gonna lie, Snot.
50
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:13,350
When you got Bar mitzvah'd
last year
51
00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:16,614
and became a man
the Jewish way,
I was very jealous.
52
00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:20,183
And now it's your turn
to do it one
of the Christian ways.
53
00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:23,055
But how are we gonna
get an invite to
Vince Chung's party?
54
00:02:23,055 --> 00:02:24,883
It'd be one thing
if Barry were here.
55
00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:26,537
Vince Chung loves Barry.
56
00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:29,279
Apparently if you witness
one murder at Taco Bell
57
00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:32,152
with someone, it creates
some sort of "bond."
58
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:35,807
Too bad he and Toshi already
left for Summer Horse Camp.
59
00:02:35,807 --> 00:02:37,200
I'll text him.
60
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,202
I'm warning you, bud,
if you text
61
00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:43,380
Barry at camp,
you're just gonna
get a hundred horse photos.
62
00:02:49,517 --> 00:02:51,693
What a ride, Pepper!
63
00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:53,825
This is why we
do it, Tosh.
64
00:02:53,825 --> 00:02:56,219
The union of
man and beast.
65
00:02:56,219 --> 00:03:00,180
Sometimes I don't know
where I end
and my horse begins.
66
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,530
[speaking Japanese]
67
00:03:03,139 --> 00:03:05,576
[bell rings]
68
00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:07,752
You guys?
No way!
69
00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:10,538
Only cools get to go
to my party, bros.
70
00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:13,932
Oh, dude, you're the guy
who caught that bird
71
00:03:13,932 --> 00:03:16,761
with your bare hand
in PE class.
72
00:03:16,761 --> 00:03:20,069
Please come to my bash.
73
00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:22,941
Vince, please, it's the
difference between
my friend
74
00:03:22,941 --> 00:03:24,508
becoming a man or not.
75
00:03:24,508 --> 00:03:25,770
Tell you what,
I'll let you guys
76
00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:28,425
come to my party
under one condition.
77
00:03:28,425 --> 00:03:30,079
You bring a keg
78
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:32,603
of OG Four Loco!
79
00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:35,432
[laughs]
80
00:03:35,432 --> 00:03:39,349
Okay, we just have
to get a keg of OG Four Loco,
whatever that is.
81
00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:40,959
[toilet flushes][laughs]
82
00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:44,136
You think you two nerds
can get a keg of OG Four Loco?
83
00:03:44,136 --> 00:03:46,443
The one with caffeine,
taurine, and guarana?
84
00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:47,749
Yes?
85
00:03:47,749 --> 00:03:49,533
I happen to know
there's only one place
86
00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:52,057
within a 100-mile radius
that has it.
87
00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:56,061
A dirty dive bar in Chimdale
called Triple-X-X.
88
00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:57,889
That's four X's.
89
00:03:57,889 --> 00:04:00,457
It used to be called Triple-X
in honor of the
Vin Diesel movie,
90
00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:02,285
but they got into trouble with
Columbia Pictures
91
00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:04,809
and had to add
the extra X.
92
00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:05,984
Oh.
93
00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:08,160
Good luck buying
a keg there underage.
94
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,075
It's a fake ID graveyard.
95
00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:12,164
Even the ones I sell
don't work there.
96
00:04:12,164 --> 00:04:14,166
Alright,
see you chodes later.
97
00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:15,646
I'm off to eavesdrop
on more students
98
00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:17,735
and spread more
dangerous legends.
99
00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:19,302
Alright,
you heard him.
100
00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:22,131
If we're going to make you
a man, we need real IDs.
101
00:04:22,131 --> 00:04:25,003
I think it's time we talk
to my Uncle Roger.
102
00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:26,309
They're so cool.
I wish...
103
00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:28,833
Mark McKenzie,
you talking switchblades?
104
00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:30,835
The ice cream man
will sell you one
105
00:04:30,835 --> 00:04:33,011
if you know
the secret password.
106
00:04:33,011 --> 00:04:34,274
Butterball.
107
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,322
Hey, Roger, I...
108
00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:41,846
Huh, I know he's usually
out doing stuff,
109
00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:43,674
but he's usually
also here.
110
00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:46,634
Steve-o,
what up, chode?
111
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:47,765
I need your help.
112
00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,854
Can you get me... No can do, I'm busy.
113
00:04:49,854 --> 00:04:52,509
I finally figured out how to
get rid of all my Kohl's Cash
114
00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:55,164
Gift Cards without having
to buy anything from Kohl's.
115
00:04:55,164 --> 00:04:56,208
Later, chode!
116
00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:58,385
No, Rog...
[groans]
117
00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:03,651
I know where
we can get IDs, Snot.
118
00:05:03,651 --> 00:05:06,306
But I'd be
breaking a promise
I made to my uncle.
119
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,220
If my dad
taught me anything,
120
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:12,877
breaking promises
is a huge part
of being a man.
121
00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:16,533
Gosh, your uncle really
has some unique outfits!
122
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:18,230
Uh, it's nothing weird,
123
00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:19,710
he just likes to shop
at thrift stores
124
00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:21,059
and buy dead
people's clothes
125
00:05:21,059 --> 00:05:23,540
because sometimes
- they have wallets in them.
- Oh.
126
00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:26,413
Bingo.
127
00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,371
And these adult clothes
will make us look older
128
00:05:28,371 --> 00:05:30,025
than our
little boy clothes.
129
00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:33,028
We're going
to do this Steve,
I can feel it.
130
00:05:33,028 --> 00:05:37,598
A girl is gonna
rub your penis until
you orgasm tonight.
131
00:05:43,212 --> 00:05:45,562
What the hell do you think
you're doing?
132
00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:49,697
You don't have to
show ID, Clint!
133
00:05:49,697 --> 00:05:51,742
Anyone with Clint
is probably an asshole,
134
00:05:51,742 --> 00:05:53,570
but you can come in too!
135
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:55,398
Hey, everybody!
136
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:57,922
Look what the ol' ferret
dragged in!
137
00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:00,882
ALL: Clint!
138
00:06:00,882 --> 00:06:02,405
I thought you died!
139
00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:04,407
Steve,
what's happening?
140
00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:06,235
Roger's personas,
141
00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:07,932
they're working on us!
142
00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:11,588
Hey, everybody,
drinks are on us
if this credit card works!
143
00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:13,373
[all cheering]
144
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,897
MAN: That's kind of a big "if"
though, right?
145
00:06:18,726 --> 00:06:22,251
Clint, I should kick your ass
for cheating me at pool
146
00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:25,080
and stealing my truck
last time.
147
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,561
But now that I'm walking everywhere,
148
00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:29,301
my diabetes cleared up
149
00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:32,000
and I'm in the best shape
of my life!
150
00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:33,828
Carrot stick?
151
00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:39,137
I don't get why
the whole bar thinks
I'm this guy Clint.
152
00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:41,313
Listen, the good news is
for some reason
153
00:06:41,313 --> 00:06:43,054
they really believe
we're adults,
154
00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:45,753
which means buying this keg
is going to be super easy.
155
00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:47,407
Excuse me!
156
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,887
I'd like to buy a keg of... No kegs today!
157
00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:52,324
Dave's the only one
with the key
to the keg fridge.
158
00:06:52,324 --> 00:06:53,413
- What?
- What?
159
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:57,765
Our owner Dave
has the only key.
160
00:06:57,765 --> 00:06:59,549
And he's at
his friend's wedding.
161
00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:01,595
That's obviously
not the wedding
he's at now,
162
00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:03,814
but no doubt
it gets my point across.
163
00:07:03,814 --> 00:07:06,077
How many weddings
are on Friday night?
164
00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:07,601
There must be
a way to find it.
165
00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:09,080
LEWIS:
I know where it is!
166
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,647
I couldn't help
but overhear you
167
00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:12,823
because I've been
eavesdropping on people
a lot lately.
168
00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:16,131
Not only do I know
where the wedding is,
I'm going myself.
169
00:07:16,131 --> 00:07:19,613
See, me and my buddy,
we like to wedding crash.
170
00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:21,136
Like the movie.
171
00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:23,094
So when I heard Dave talking
about a wedding the other day,
172
00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:24,618
I locked it away.
173
00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:26,794
The Ramada on Fifth and...
174
00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:28,448
Something?
175
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,798
Eh, if we drive down Fifth
long enough, we'll find it.
176
00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:33,148
Hit the ocean,
we've gone too far!
177
00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:36,804
[cellphone vibrates]
178
00:07:36,804 --> 00:07:38,283
There's a phone
in my jacket.
179
00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:40,242
Silent mode this bad boy.
180
00:07:42,853 --> 00:07:44,638
[car alarm chirps]
181
00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:46,988
Steve, don't you think
it's a little weird
182
00:07:46,988 --> 00:07:49,033
that Lewis doesn't
recognize us?
183
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:50,513
Yeah! I do.
184
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:52,036
Now relax.
185
00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:58,521
♪ Don't let the sun
go down on me
186
00:07:58,521 --> 00:08:01,524
♪ Although I search myself
187
00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:05,702
BOTH: ♪ It's always
someone else I see
188
00:08:05,702 --> 00:08:10,751
♪ I'd just allow a fragment
of your life
189
00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:15,407
♪ To wander free
190
00:08:15,407 --> 00:08:17,888
♪ Oh-ho!
191
00:08:20,238 --> 00:08:22,414
Whoa, a new flavor!
192
00:08:22,414 --> 00:08:24,721
Green tea
with Moroccan mint!
193
00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:26,897
Should we buy it
instead of our usual
194
00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:28,856
green tea with peach
and lemongrass?
195
00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:30,510
Maybe we buy both?
196
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,815
Buy both?
197
00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:34,165
Sure, why don't we buy
some fruit punch too?
198
00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:36,559
We're supposed to be
saving for a house
199
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,692
to show your dad
we're responsible.
200
00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:40,911
And you want to double
our tea budget?
201
00:08:40,911 --> 00:08:43,174
And I said,
"Make it 10 bucks
202
00:08:43,174 --> 00:08:45,220
"and I'll put both
hands up there!"
203
00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:46,917
Ugh.[screams]
204
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:48,310
Relax, Clint!
205
00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:52,575
This isn't even
my car!
206
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:53,837
'Zooka Sharks!
207
00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:55,578
CLERK: This is our year!
208
00:08:55,578 --> 00:08:58,189
Or maybe we get
all the flavors
209
00:08:58,189 --> 00:08:59,974
and don't use any
of our tea budget!
210
00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:07,285
Steve, look!
211
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:08,939
The Ramada!
212
00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:10,985
Dave and his key
are right there!
213
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:18,775
You check the perimeter,
I'll take the dance floor.
214
00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:21,212
Dave?
215
00:09:21,212 --> 00:09:22,779
ALL: [chanting]
Dave! Dave! Dave!
Dave! Dave!
216
00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:26,478
Dave! Dave! Dave!
Dave! Dave! Dave!
217
00:09:26,478 --> 00:09:28,872
Dave? Dave?
218
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:33,921
Dave! Dave! Dave! Dave!
219
00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:34,965
Dave!
220
00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:36,488
Dr. Kenji!
You came!
221
00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:38,055
And I didn't even
invite you!
222
00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:40,492
You've got to
give a speech!
223
00:09:40,492 --> 00:09:42,146
Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
I couldn't...
224
00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:44,627
Guys, I want you
to meet my dentist.
225
00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:47,978
He's cool and he's always
telling me dirty jokes,
226
00:09:47,978 --> 00:09:49,501
and now he's going
to give a toast.
227
00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:52,983
This is gonna be better
than a Netflix
stand-up special!
228
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,640
Oh, no.
229
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,773
You can't go too blue.
230
00:09:59,773 --> 00:10:03,733
Uh, that's right,
I'm his dentist.
231
00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:05,430
And I swear
232
00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:08,825
that's "the whole tooth
and nothing but the tooth."
233
00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:10,348
Oh, no.
234
00:10:10,348 --> 00:10:11,480
Oh, no!
235
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,177
Clint, you bastard!
236
00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:16,920
You just had to show up
on my wedding day!
237
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,227
You know
I can't resist you.
238
00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:22,491
Come on!
239
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:25,015
MAN: Someone in here, actually.
240
00:10:25,015 --> 00:10:26,364
It's okay.
241
00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:28,062
I know what you want.
242
00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:35,025
Whoa,
I do kind of want this!
243
00:10:35,025 --> 00:10:36,679
And that's when I said...
244
00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:40,552
"Make it 10 bucks and
I'll put both hands up there!"
245
00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:42,685
[all laughing]
246
00:10:42,685 --> 00:10:44,165
Thank you, goodnight!
247
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:47,690
Dr. Kenji, everyone!
248
00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:50,301
That was so funny
I'm going to piss myself.
249
00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:51,694
I'm not lying!
250
00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:54,131
I know
you're loving this.
251
00:10:54,131 --> 00:11:01,051
I've been on my feet
all day long.
252
00:11:01,051 --> 00:11:03,575
What the hell
is going on in here?
253
00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:06,143
KLAUS:
Hilarious speech, man.
254
00:11:06,143 --> 00:11:08,363
You don't meet a lot
of funny dentists.
255
00:11:08,363 --> 00:11:10,974
I'm actually looking
for a funny guy.
256
00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:13,411
See, I wasn't even invited
to this wedding.
257
00:11:13,411 --> 00:11:17,198
Me and my buddy
are wedding crashers,
like the movie.
258
00:11:17,198 --> 00:11:18,547
Except my buddy
didn't show up!
259
00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:20,549
So I'm done with him!
He's out!
260
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:23,073
I'm looking
for a Vince Vaughn-type
261
00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:25,902
to play opposite
my Owen Wilson-type,
262
00:11:25,902 --> 00:11:28,731
and you might
fit the bill.
263
00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:29,993
[screams]
264
00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:31,603
You ruined my wedding!
265
00:11:31,603 --> 00:11:34,781
My wife's beautiful feet
smell like a face now!
266
00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:39,176
Come on!
267
00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:42,702
Oh, he is
a Vince Vaughn-type.
268
00:11:45,095 --> 00:11:46,357
[brakes screech]
269
00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:48,751
Go, go!
This guy's gonna kill us!
270
00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:51,232
Okay, but this isn't
a normal cab,
271
00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:54,235
because this is
a Kohl's Cash Cab!
272
00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:56,106
It's just like the show
Cash Cab
273
00:11:56,106 --> 00:11:58,761
where they drive you around
and ask you trivia questions
274
00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:01,198
except on this one,
you win Kohl's Cash
275
00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:02,852
instead of usable cash!
276
00:12:02,852 --> 00:12:04,549
This is my pilot episode.
277
00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:06,769
I'm shooting it on my own
and hoping to sell it
to Kohl's.
278
00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:08,510
- Just go!
- Steve?
279
00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:11,469
Well, look who it is.
280
00:12:11,469 --> 00:12:13,645
Local piece of shit
Clint McGlint
281
00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:17,214
and dentist to
the Japanese mafia,
Dr. Kenji.
282
00:12:17,214 --> 00:12:19,608
Please, Rog... Uh-uh.
283
00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:23,090
Please...
Jamirquai J. Spunklestain.
284
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:25,222
Ah, damn it!
Please just go!
285
00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:27,790
Okay, but only if you get
the questions right.
286
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:30,662
Miss one question
and I drop you
at the next corner.
287
00:12:30,662 --> 00:12:32,795
This show is much harder
than the one that was on
288
00:12:32,795 --> 00:12:34,057
Discovery Channel!
289
00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:35,232
Here at American Dad,
290
00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:36,668
we love Discovery Channel
291
00:12:36,668 --> 00:12:38,148
and welcome
Warner Bros. Discovery
292
00:12:38,148 --> 00:12:40,107
as TBS's new overlord.
293
00:12:40,107 --> 00:12:43,023
Long may scripted television
reign supreme!
294
00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:46,983
What's the hardest haircut
to cut?
295
00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:49,507
- What?
- We've got company!
296
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:51,988
That's your first question.
297
00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:54,338
What's the hardest haircut
to cut?
298
00:12:54,338 --> 00:12:56,471
Uh, the Rachel?
299
00:12:56,471 --> 00:12:57,951
Yes!
That's correct.
300
00:12:57,951 --> 00:13:00,780
And that's
a $50 Kohl's Cash!
301
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,346
[both scream]
302
00:13:02,346 --> 00:13:04,348
This question's
a little bit harder.
303
00:13:04,348 --> 00:13:06,698
What's the third-best
Pixar movie?
304
00:13:06,698 --> 00:13:08,352
Uh...
The Incredibles!
305
00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:10,180
Oops, sorry,
that's wrong!
306
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:12,313
No, it's not!
307
00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:14,489
Wall-E, Toy Story,
The Incredibles.
308
00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:16,534
No, it goes Shrek,
Toy Story,
309
00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:18,145
Nemo, Incredibles.
310
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:20,016
Shrek's not even
a Pixar movie!
311
00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:21,844
- Yes, it is!
- No, it isn't.
312
00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:22,976
It's Dreamworks.
313
00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:24,281
Please hold.
314
00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:26,370
Well, cluck me.
What do you know?
315
00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:28,851
That's $50
Kohl's Cash!
316
00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:34,030
He's back!
317
00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:36,119
Don't worry,
this next question's easy.
318
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:39,166
What is the best
kind of weather?
319
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,082
- BOTH: Rain!
- Wrong!
320
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:50,046
GROOM:
Aw, I'm stuck real good.
321
00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:54,398
Sorry, but the best kind of
weather is two tornados.
322
00:13:54,398 --> 00:13:55,573
Thanks for playing.
323
00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:57,184
Wait, you're
dropping us off here?
324
00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:59,751
Damn, this is one
of the roughest parts
of Chimdale.
325
00:13:59,751 --> 00:14:02,232
But I don't pick
where you get
the answers wrong.
326
00:14:02,232 --> 00:14:03,712
Now get out!
327
00:14:05,192 --> 00:14:07,629
And quit going through
other people's stuff!
328
00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:13,504
Well,
Steve wants my help
329
00:14:13,504 --> 00:14:15,550
getting into
Vince Chung's party.
330
00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:18,379
Probably because of
our Taco Bell trauma bond.
331
00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:20,033
[speaking Japanese]
332
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:26,430
I just feel like
Steve and Snot
333
00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:28,780
might be in danger
for some reason.
334
00:14:30,782 --> 00:14:33,873
Geez, this Makahama guy
called a thousand times.
335
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,179
Hey, the Uber
on this phone works.
336
00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:37,311
We can get home!
337
00:14:37,311 --> 00:14:39,791
Home?
But we have to
get the keg.
338
00:14:39,791 --> 00:14:42,359
How? Face it, Snot,
we're done.
339
00:14:42,359 --> 00:14:43,534
We lost Dave.
340
00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:45,406
And no Dave, no key.
341
00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:47,060
No key, no keg.
342
00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:48,583
No keg, no party.
343
00:14:48,583 --> 00:14:51,020
No party, no handie.
344
00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:54,023
Come on, Steve,
this is your destiny!
345
00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:55,895
Snot, it's okay.
346
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,071
A part of me
is actually relieved.
347
00:14:58,071 --> 00:15:00,551
- What?
- It's just...
348
00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:03,250
I was a little afraid
of getting a handjob.
349
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:05,295
Afraid? Why?
350
00:15:05,295 --> 00:15:07,297
What if I don't
do it right?
351
00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:08,951
What if
my penis is weird?
352
00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:11,258
I can't believe
this kind of talk.
353
00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:15,262
Steve, I have no doubt
you have a wonderful penis.
354
00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:17,960
Also, if you don't,
who cares?
355
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:21,137
We're entering a new age
of body positivity
356
00:15:21,137 --> 00:15:23,835
where weird is beautiful,
my friend.
357
00:15:24,445 --> 00:15:26,534
[vomiting]
358
00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:29,841
BOTH: Dave!
359
00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:34,585
- Dave!
- He's out.
360
00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:36,936
Well, we don't need him,
just the key.
361
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,024
Check the keychain!
362
00:15:39,547 --> 00:15:42,985
He's only got
one key on here
like a psychopath.
363
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:44,334
It must be inside.
364
00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:51,341
If we find the key
and hustle back to the bar
to get the keg,
365
00:15:51,341 --> 00:15:52,647
we can still
make the party.
366
00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:54,518
SNOT: But the keg's not
at the bar.
367
00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:56,346
What?
How do you know that?
368
00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:58,392
Because it's right here.
369
00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:03,005
[suspenseful music playing]
370
00:16:04,876 --> 00:16:06,617
SNOT: It's beautiful.
371
00:16:06,617 --> 00:16:07,967
You were right, Snot.
372
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:11,013
It's our destiny.
Let's go!
373
00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:12,841
MAN: Let us
help you with that.
374
00:16:12,841 --> 00:16:16,671
You haven't been answering
your phone, Dr. Kenji.
375
00:16:23,591 --> 00:16:25,549
I'm sorry, Mr. Makahama,
376
00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:27,725
I assumed you wanted
sparkling water!
377
00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:31,033
Well, you know what happens
when you assume...
378
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:32,426
You die!
379
00:16:35,864 --> 00:16:38,867
Dr. Kenji,
thank you for coming.
380
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:42,740
I'm sorry we had to be
so persistent.
381
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:45,743
Uh, no problem.
382
00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:48,007
Two nights ago,
I ate a gumdrop,
383
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,922
and it made my tooth
really hurt.
384
00:16:50,922 --> 00:16:52,228
Then it went away.
385
00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:54,187
But then, I ate a bunch
of jujubes
386
00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:57,190
and the pain
came back worse!
387
00:16:58,452 --> 00:17:02,064
Please remove the tooth
at once.
388
00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:06,373
After you fix
the boss's tooth,
you'll get your keg back.
389
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:08,070
How are we going
to get out of this?
390
00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:11,030
This is complex dental work,
and I'm terrible
with my hands.
391
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,684
You said you wanted
to become a man, right?
392
00:17:13,684 --> 00:17:17,471
Well, a man's got to do
what a man's got to do.
393
00:17:18,646 --> 00:17:19,951
[warbles]
394
00:17:21,910 --> 00:17:23,999
Okay,
what tooth is it?
395
00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:30,310
Just give that a second
to work.
396
00:17:33,661 --> 00:17:36,011
Now let's yank
this bad boy.
397
00:17:37,012 --> 00:17:40,146
[grunting]
398
00:17:42,235 --> 00:17:45,977
It does not want
to come out!
399
00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:48,371
[yelps in pain]
400
00:17:48,371 --> 00:17:49,546
Hold on...
401
00:17:49,546 --> 00:17:51,113
Almost...
402
00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:52,419
Got it!
403
00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:54,595
[screams]
404
00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:56,553
'Ill 'hem!
405
00:17:56,553 --> 00:17:57,902
Steve, the cart!
406
00:17:57,902 --> 00:17:59,252
The elevator!
407
00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:04,996
Uh-oh.
408
00:18:09,262 --> 00:18:11,438
[screams]
Oh, God!
409
00:18:12,439 --> 00:18:14,267
[both scream]
410
00:18:14,876 --> 00:18:16,138
We're not falling!
411
00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:18,358
I think
we're flying this thing!
412
00:18:26,061 --> 00:18:28,324
We just passed
Vince Chung's house!
413
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:30,109
We need to turn around!
414
00:18:31,284 --> 00:18:33,547
Deflect
off the Shark's Nest!
415
00:18:41,859 --> 00:18:43,209
We're alive!
416
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:45,472
Oh, my God...
417
00:18:45,472 --> 00:18:47,604
It's Vince Chung's party!
418
00:18:47,604 --> 00:18:48,692
We did it!
419
00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:50,477
I'm gonna become a man!
420
00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:52,392
No, we didn't.
421
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:55,873
- Who cares?
- Who cares?
422
00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:58,441
Uh, Vince Chung
for starters.
423
00:18:58,441 --> 00:19:00,182
We've come too far.
424
00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:01,966
I'm going to that party.
425
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:03,925
And I'm getting
that handjob.
426
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:07,668
Yass, queen!
427
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:09,931
Yass!
428
00:19:11,324 --> 00:19:12,847
[all gasping]
429
00:19:14,414 --> 00:19:15,806
Hey...
430
00:19:15,806 --> 00:19:18,374
You have no clue
what I've been through tonight.
431
00:19:18,374 --> 00:19:20,594
Just to get here.
To you.
432
00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:27,775
Why the hell is this
old-ass guy
kissing me?
433
00:19:28,776 --> 00:19:30,517
That's my dentist!
434
00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:32,083
Oh, my God!
435
00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:33,781
Somebody kill them!
436
00:19:34,738 --> 00:19:35,783
PARTYER: Get 'em!
437
00:19:37,872 --> 00:19:39,613
We gotta get out
of these clothes!
438
00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:44,531
I can't believe how close
I came to becoming a man
439
00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:48,099
only to be, well,
too old I guess.
440
00:19:48,709 --> 00:19:50,014
What an awful night.
441
00:19:50,014 --> 00:19:51,190
Steve,
442
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:54,193
tonight was the best night
of my life.
443
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,324
And do you know why?
444
00:19:55,324 --> 00:19:57,021
'Cause that bride
grabbed your wiener?
445
00:19:57,021 --> 00:19:58,240
No...
446
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,287
because I watched you
become a man.
447
00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:04,507
Yeah,
you didn't get an HJ,
448
00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:07,249
but you did give
an amazing wedding speech.
449
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,860
You cracked a guy
over the head with a vase.
450
00:20:09,860 --> 00:20:13,037
You pulled the tongue
out of a Japanese mob boss.
451
00:20:13,037 --> 00:20:14,952
You shoved Vince Chung.
452
00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:17,172
And you kissed the girl.
453
00:20:18,086 --> 00:20:20,784
[siren chirps]
454
00:20:20,784 --> 00:20:23,091
Hey, you haven't seen
some scuzzy guy
455
00:20:23,091 --> 00:20:25,224
and an off-duty dentist,
have you?
456
00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:28,270
Well, the Japanese mafia
457
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:30,229
and a bunch
of high-school kids
want them dead,
458
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,622
so you should probably
get off the streets.
459
00:20:32,622 --> 00:20:34,102
Can you give us
a ride home?
460
00:20:34,102 --> 00:20:36,844
No way!
Every man
for themselves!
461
00:20:38,193 --> 00:20:40,978
And put on some clothes!
462
00:20:40,978 --> 00:20:42,719
BARRY:
Somebody need a ride?
463
00:20:42,719 --> 00:20:45,156
[horse whinnies]
464
00:20:45,156 --> 00:20:46,593
Hey, I can't believe
they let you guys
465
00:20:46,593 --> 00:20:48,638
take your horses home
from horse camp.
466
00:20:48,638 --> 00:20:49,900
Oh, they didn't
let us...
467
00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:51,424
[gun fires]
468
00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:56,690
[heroic music playing]