1 00:00:02,838 --> 00:00:05,514 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 2 00:00:05,514 --> 00:00:08,951 ♪ I got a feeling That it's gonna be A wonderful day ♪ 3 00:00:08,951 --> 00:00:11,788 ♪ The sun in the sky Has a smile on his face ♪ 4 00:00:11,788 --> 00:00:15,066 ♪ And he's shining a salute To the American race ♪ 5 00:00:17,902 --> 00:00:20,940 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 6 00:00:20,940 --> 00:00:24,135 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 7 00:00:25,735 --> 00:00:28,971 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 8 00:00:28,971 --> 00:00:32,128 Four, three, two, one! 9 00:01:08,571 --> 00:01:11,169 Steve, please look at these camp brochures. 10 00:01:11,169 --> 00:01:12,926 Dad, for the millionth time, 11 00:01:12,926 --> 00:01:14,526 I don't wanna go to summer camp. 12 00:01:14,526 --> 00:01:16,043 But Camp Pocanda's got a lake. 13 00:01:17,722 --> 00:01:20,400 Steve! Come with me if you wanna live! 14 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:21,598 At home this summer! 15 00:01:26,633 --> 00:01:29,591 Ahh. Basil and snail poison. 16 00:01:29,591 --> 00:01:31,308 The sweet smell of summer. 17 00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:33,906 Hey, you should plant some of those, uh-- 18 00:01:33,906 --> 00:01:35,465 I don't know what you call them here, 19 00:01:35,465 --> 00:01:36,824 Hitler melons. 20 00:01:39,581 --> 00:01:41,978 Good news. I found a camp that still has an opening. 21 00:01:41,978 --> 00:01:44,096 Dad, I don't wanna go to camp. 22 00:01:44,096 --> 00:01:46,733 It's hot, and there's always something crawling in your sleeping bag, 23 00:01:46,733 --> 00:01:48,651 like a spider or a counselor. 24 00:01:48,651 --> 00:01:51,209 Just let me tend to my posies! 25 00:01:51,209 --> 00:01:53,167 Stan, he doesn't wanna go to camp. 26 00:01:53,167 --> 00:01:54,646 I spent my summers at camp, 27 00:01:54,646 --> 00:01:55,924 and I had the time of my life. 28 00:01:55,924 --> 00:01:58,241 I want him to have that same experience. 29 00:01:58,241 --> 00:01:59,880 And, besides, gardening's gay. 30 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:02,558 I'll have you know James Coburn had a garden. 31 00:02:02,558 --> 00:02:04,236 I'm sick of your lies about Coburn! 32 00:02:07,353 --> 00:02:09,630 These are mean streets we live on. 33 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,229 Streets soaked with blood. 34 00:02:11,229 --> 00:02:14,345 I just fished a dead hooker out of the canal. 35 00:02:14,345 --> 00:02:16,184 Roger, what are you talking about? 36 00:02:16,184 --> 00:02:18,742 Oh, it's my new hard-boiled PI character. 37 00:02:18,742 --> 00:02:20,500 I find role-playing helps me cope 38 00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:22,777 with the soul-crushing boredom around this place. 39 00:02:22,777 --> 00:02:25,055 -May I proceed? -Uh, okay. 40 00:02:25,055 --> 00:02:26,574 Shut your hole, crazy broad. 41 00:02:26,574 --> 00:02:28,612 I had to call that poor dead girl's parents. 42 00:02:28,612 --> 00:02:31,249 Do you have any idea what that's like? Do you? 43 00:02:31,249 --> 00:02:32,647 Damn this city! 44 00:02:34,166 --> 00:02:35,644 And scene. 45 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,438 All the camps are full, 46 00:02:41,438 --> 00:02:43,397 so we'll just make our own in the backyard. 47 00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:45,035 It'll be like Meatballs. 48 00:02:45,035 --> 00:02:47,233 I'll be Bill Murray and you'll be that kid that no one remembers. 49 00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:48,512 One tent, please. 50 00:02:48,512 --> 00:02:50,150 He was also in My Bodyguard. Terrific film. 51 00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:52,468 What the hell is his name? 52 00:02:52,468 --> 00:02:54,386 Sorry. All our tents have been donated. 53 00:02:54,386 --> 00:02:55,824 We're shipping them off to some camp. 54 00:02:55,824 --> 00:02:57,023 Did you say camp? 55 00:02:57,023 --> 00:02:59,221 Is there any way you can get my kid in this camp? 56 00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:01,219 Well, it's pretty overcrowded. 57 00:03:01,219 --> 00:03:03,216 My son doesn't take up much space. 58 00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:06,373 And neither does my good friend Ben Franklin. 59 00:03:06,373 --> 00:03:10,049 Yeah, he fits in your jeans real nice. Don't you, Ben? 60 00:03:10,049 --> 00:03:11,249 Indubitably. 61 00:03:11,249 --> 00:03:12,527 Dad. 62 00:03:12,527 --> 00:03:14,685 Steve, camp is an amazing place. 63 00:03:14,685 --> 00:03:16,843 You get to swim in the lake, drink bug juice, 64 00:03:16,843 --> 00:03:19,121 ring the bell if you win the camp Olympics. 65 00:03:19,121 --> 00:03:21,718 Oh, and then there's camp love. 66 00:03:21,718 --> 00:03:23,836 It's such an intense experience, 67 00:03:23,836 --> 00:03:27,073 like winning the Grammy for Best R&B Performance, Duo or Group. 68 00:03:27,073 --> 00:03:30,229 Dad, for the last time, you were not in Boyz II Men. 69 00:03:30,229 --> 00:03:33,387 ♪ Whatever ♪ 70 00:03:34,626 --> 00:03:37,582 So it's settled. Be sure to write. 71 00:03:37,582 --> 00:03:41,059 How could you send Steve off to some camp you know nothing about? 72 00:03:41,059 --> 00:03:42,498 I'm not an idiot, Francine. 73 00:03:42,498 --> 00:03:43,736 I have a receipt and a tracking number. 74 00:03:43,736 --> 00:03:45,375 He's with some tents. It's fine. 75 00:03:45,375 --> 00:03:48,772 Look, it's a legitimate place. It's called "Camp Refoogee." 76 00:03:48,772 --> 00:03:51,489 It doesn't say "Refoogee." It says "Refugee." 77 00:03:51,489 --> 00:03:54,605 You sent our son to a refugee camp? 78 00:03:54,605 --> 00:03:56,804 Has anybody seen a Care Bears towel? 79 00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:59,041 It-It had Luck Bear on the front. 80 00:03:59,041 --> 00:04:01,918 I think you call it "Luck Bear" because he had a clover on his chest. 81 00:04:01,918 --> 00:04:04,396 Oh, I also had a collapsible cup. 82 00:04:09,390 --> 00:04:10,749 Just so we're clear, 83 00:04:10,749 --> 00:04:14,225 you will not return home from Africa without my son. 84 00:04:14,225 --> 00:04:15,505 I'm going with you. 85 00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:17,302 If I could just hold a refugee's hand 86 00:04:17,302 --> 00:04:19,900 and look them in the eye, they'll know someone cares. 87 00:04:19,900 --> 00:04:22,257 Okay, Bono. Settle down. 88 00:04:32,048 --> 00:04:34,046 So this is a refugee camp. 89 00:04:34,046 --> 00:04:37,403 I have to say, not that bad. 90 00:04:37,403 --> 00:04:40,359 There's sun, sand. It's like Arizona. 91 00:04:40,359 --> 00:04:42,557 Although here they probably celebrate Martin Luther King Day. 92 00:04:42,557 --> 00:04:43,915 Look, the UN is here. 93 00:04:43,915 --> 00:04:45,994 I'm gonna go ask them how I can help. 94 00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:49,311 Okay, but the plane leaves in 30 minutes. 95 00:04:49,311 --> 00:04:52,468 Hello. Stan Smith, American, 32-inch vertical leap. 96 00:04:52,468 --> 00:04:55,265 -I'm looking for my son. -You must mean the white boy. 97 00:04:55,265 --> 00:04:56,744 Oh, come on. 98 00:04:56,744 --> 00:04:58,382 Why does it always have to be a racial thing with you blacks? 99 00:04:58,382 --> 00:04:59,660 I can take you to him. 100 00:04:59,660 --> 00:05:00,860 Thank you. What's your name? 101 00:05:00,860 --> 00:05:03,697 I am Wobuto Kowonga Komali. 102 00:05:03,697 --> 00:05:04,816 I'll call you Hot Rod. 103 00:05:09,571 --> 00:05:11,129 Wong's Imperial Wok. 104 00:05:11,129 --> 00:05:13,606 You order Empress Plate? 105 00:05:13,606 --> 00:05:16,324 What? Too broad or not broad enough? 106 00:05:16,324 --> 00:05:19,082 'Cause I've got some incredibly racist buckteeth in my pocket. 107 00:05:19,082 --> 00:05:21,039 You won't like yourself, but you'll laugh. 108 00:05:21,039 --> 00:05:24,156 Oh, Roger, I'm just feeling lonely without Steve. 109 00:05:24,156 --> 00:05:26,594 We were supposed to go to an art opening tomorrow. 110 00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:28,672 Art opening? Hell, I'll go. 111 00:05:28,672 --> 00:05:32,068 I got this college professor character I've been dyin' to try out. 112 00:05:32,068 --> 00:05:33,905 Hey, you should do a character too. 113 00:05:33,905 --> 00:05:35,465 I don't know. 114 00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:37,782 Oh, come on. It'll help you pull your head out of the oven. 115 00:05:37,782 --> 00:05:39,461 Now, who you gonna be? 116 00:05:39,461 --> 00:05:41,698 And it's crucial that it be organic to my professor character. 117 00:05:41,698 --> 00:05:42,737 Um... 118 00:05:42,737 --> 00:05:45,055 Oh, how about a professor's wife? 119 00:05:45,055 --> 00:05:46,253 Eh, I don't really care. 120 00:05:46,253 --> 00:05:47,772 You owe me 32.50. 121 00:05:47,772 --> 00:05:50,690 -This is a spilled can of motor oil. -No substitution! 122 00:05:52,448 --> 00:05:54,406 Steve! Steve! 123 00:05:54,925 --> 00:05:55,804 Dad! 124 00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:57,403 Mm! 125 00:05:58,082 --> 00:05:59,720 Dad, get me out of here. 126 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:03,277 I just wanna go home and never think about stupid camp again. 127 00:06:03,277 --> 00:06:05,834 Stupid camp? No. No, camp is good. 128 00:06:05,834 --> 00:06:09,151 If only I could make you see. 129 00:06:10,549 --> 00:06:11,949 That's it! 130 00:06:11,949 --> 00:06:13,946 Steve, you're not gonna miss out on camp after all. 131 00:06:13,946 --> 00:06:16,064 -We're staying in Africa. -What? 132 00:06:16,064 --> 00:06:19,461 We've got tents, a river, campers, everything we need is here. 133 00:06:19,461 --> 00:06:20,700 People, listen up. 134 00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:21,898 I've got great news. 135 00:06:23,057 --> 00:06:24,975 We're turning this hot, dusty wasteland 136 00:06:24,975 --> 00:06:26,573 into what it should've been all along, 137 00:06:26,573 --> 00:06:27,732 a summer camp. 138 00:06:29,570 --> 00:06:32,327 Welcome to Camp "Refoogee." 139 00:06:32,327 --> 00:06:34,166 By the way, this kind of fun isn't free. 140 00:06:34,166 --> 00:06:35,925 I'm gonna need checks from all your parents. 141 00:06:42,198 --> 00:06:46,034 How can you all gorge yourselves on roast beef while refugees starve? 142 00:06:46,034 --> 00:06:48,991 I, for one, am going to spend my short time here 143 00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:50,989 outside helping those poor people. 144 00:06:53,626 --> 00:06:54,905 Hey, that's our plane. 145 00:06:56,024 --> 00:06:57,902 Dad, what's going on? 146 00:06:57,902 --> 00:07:00,099 We're staying for a few weeks and turning this place into a summer camp. 147 00:07:00,099 --> 00:07:01,178 A few weeks? 148 00:07:02,697 --> 00:07:04,656 Steak, medium. A little pink in the middle. 149 00:07:05,735 --> 00:07:06,614 Pinker than that. 150 00:07:12,408 --> 00:07:14,965 Okay, remember, I'm Professor Jordan Edelstein. 151 00:07:14,965 --> 00:07:17,522 My key stats, IQ 140, nearsighted, 152 00:07:17,522 --> 00:07:21,039 and I once spent a sexually experimental weekend with Allen Ginsberg. 153 00:07:21,039 --> 00:07:23,597 And I'm Amanda Lane. I didn't take your name. 154 00:07:23,597 --> 00:07:25,274 That's fine, 'cause you converted for me. 155 00:07:25,274 --> 00:07:27,713 Your parents weren't too happy about you marrying a Hebrew. 156 00:07:27,713 --> 00:07:29,110 But then my book started selling, 157 00:07:29,110 --> 00:07:30,710 and they changed that tune right quick. 158 00:07:30,710 --> 00:07:33,587 I was thinking we've been married about 17 years. 159 00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:36,424 Perfect. And I'm the head of the political science department at Harvard, 160 00:07:36,424 --> 00:07:37,343 thank you very much. 161 00:07:37,343 --> 00:07:38,741 Political science? 162 00:07:38,741 --> 00:07:40,619 You should be an economics professor. 163 00:07:40,619 --> 00:07:42,817 What? No, I make my own backstory. 164 00:07:42,817 --> 00:07:44,615 Besides, I freakin' hate economics. 165 00:07:44,615 --> 00:07:48,252 Fine. If you wanna waste your life with political science, go ahead. 166 00:07:48,252 --> 00:07:49,530 God, you sound just like your mother. 167 00:07:53,127 --> 00:07:55,645 You're just slightly better at this than I expected. 168 00:08:00,599 --> 00:08:02,957 That horseshoe pit's really coming along there... 169 00:08:02,957 --> 00:08:03,836 What's his name? 170 00:08:03,836 --> 00:08:05,754 Rassan Bikila Mossi. 171 00:08:05,754 --> 00:08:07,153 Well done, Skittles! 172 00:08:08,552 --> 00:08:09,990 Get up, Steve! 173 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,348 When I was at camp, I never sat around doing nothing. 174 00:08:12,348 --> 00:08:14,225 I played sports, I wrote cheers. 175 00:08:14,225 --> 00:08:16,983 I was the first one to rhyme "Ooh, ungawa" with "powa." 176 00:08:16,983 --> 00:08:18,502 Didn't copyright it. Lost millions. 177 00:08:18,502 --> 00:08:20,060 Dad, no matter what you do, 178 00:08:20,060 --> 00:08:21,938 I'll never have your camp experience, 179 00:08:21,938 --> 00:08:24,575 because this place is never gonna be a real summer camp. 180 00:08:24,575 --> 00:08:27,013 Right on time. 181 00:08:27,013 --> 00:08:28,891 I ordered an airdrop from the CIA. 182 00:08:28,891 --> 00:08:31,130 We're in desperate need of supplies. 183 00:08:31,130 --> 00:08:33,607 -Uncle Stan, is it freshwater? -Better. 184 00:08:33,607 --> 00:08:35,284 -Malaria pills? -Better. 185 00:08:36,724 --> 00:08:38,762 -It looks like fruit. -Are they Hitler melons? 186 00:08:38,762 --> 00:08:40,000 No. What? 187 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,677 No, they're tetherballs. Oh, and look at this. 188 00:08:42,677 --> 00:08:45,075 Camp T-shirts! 189 00:08:46,034 --> 00:08:47,433 E! Entertainment? 190 00:08:47,433 --> 00:08:49,231 This sucks. I wanna go home. 191 00:09:07,293 --> 00:09:10,290 Hi, I'm Makeva. You're Uncle Stan's son. 192 00:09:10,290 --> 00:09:11,369 Thank you. 193 00:09:11,369 --> 00:09:14,047 So, I'm going to the camp dance tonight. 194 00:09:14,047 --> 00:09:15,524 Maybe I'll see you there. 195 00:09:15,524 --> 00:09:17,962 Someone's robbin' the cradle of civilization. 196 00:09:17,962 --> 00:09:19,200 Dad! 197 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,238 Makeva! Dinner! 198 00:09:21,238 --> 00:09:22,037 Got it! 199 00:09:24,596 --> 00:09:28,591 Oh, man. It is so on. You just found your camp love. 200 00:09:28,591 --> 00:09:29,750 -Pound it. -Dad, I-- 201 00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:30,869 Pound it! 202 00:09:30,869 --> 00:09:32,907 This is the real thing, Steve. 203 00:09:32,907 --> 00:09:35,824 I still remember my first camp love, Tommy Bennett. 204 00:09:35,824 --> 00:09:38,023 No. No, Amy Bennett. Why would I say Tommy? 205 00:09:38,023 --> 00:09:41,179 Anyway, I've never felt that way before and I haven't since. 206 00:09:41,179 --> 00:09:42,658 Just three words of advice, 207 00:09:42,658 --> 00:09:45,894 Hall & Oates. Chicks dig 'em. 208 00:09:45,894 --> 00:09:49,211 Okay, campers, time for the swim tests, so just jump right in. 209 00:09:49,211 --> 00:09:50,529 We never go in the water. 210 00:09:50,529 --> 00:09:52,168 It is too close to the Bawango rebel camp. 211 00:09:53,925 --> 00:09:56,523 Ah, yes. The rich kids' camp. 212 00:09:56,523 --> 00:10:00,200 No. They are the ones who destroyed our village and forced us here. 213 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,317 Mm-hmm. Our old rivals. 214 00:10:02,317 --> 00:10:04,635 Well, I think it's time they were taken down a notch. 215 00:10:04,635 --> 00:10:08,032 Be cautious. They are a fierce people who refuse to make peace. 216 00:10:08,032 --> 00:10:10,030 Makepeace! Chris Makepeace. 217 00:10:10,030 --> 00:10:12,108 That was the kid from Meatballs. Thank you. 218 00:10:12,108 --> 00:10:14,386 Their leader, Ozomatli, is a cruel man. 219 00:10:14,386 --> 00:10:15,944 Oh, boy, I'm not feeling so good. 220 00:10:15,944 --> 00:10:17,702 I'm sweaty, queasy. 221 00:10:17,702 --> 00:10:20,819 I think I got a bad case of full moon fever! 222 00:10:23,816 --> 00:10:25,055 What the hell is this? 223 00:10:25,055 --> 00:10:26,853 Apologies, General Ozomatli. 224 00:10:26,853 --> 00:10:28,292 That is my kaleidoscope. 225 00:10:28,292 --> 00:10:32,088 Congratulations. You just lost an arm. 226 00:10:32,088 --> 00:10:34,645 Oh, wait, wait. Let me just get the stuff out of my left pocket. 227 00:10:42,318 --> 00:10:43,636 Sorry about that. 228 00:10:43,636 --> 00:10:46,115 Oh, that's okay. I'm Rick, and this is Candy. 229 00:10:46,115 --> 00:10:48,751 I'm Amanda, and this is my husband, Jordan. 230 00:10:48,751 --> 00:10:50,350 We just moved to Langley Falls. 231 00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,427 Rick's a pediatrician, and I teach first grade. 232 00:10:52,427 --> 00:10:53,666 That's gotta be good for business. 233 00:10:53,666 --> 00:10:54,866 She trips 'em on the playground, 234 00:10:54,866 --> 00:10:56,464 then sends 'em your way for bandaging. 235 00:10:58,461 --> 00:10:59,621 They're onto us, Cand. 236 00:11:02,897 --> 00:11:04,695 Well, it was nice meeting you two. 237 00:11:04,695 --> 00:11:06,254 That was so fun. 238 00:11:06,254 --> 00:11:07,932 I wish it didn't have to end. 239 00:11:07,932 --> 00:11:09,091 Let's have 'em over for dinner. 240 00:11:09,091 --> 00:11:10,929 Oh, Stan doesn't like dinner parties. 241 00:11:10,929 --> 00:11:12,767 Well, I don't know who this Stan yutz is, 242 00:11:12,767 --> 00:11:15,845 but you're married to Professor Jordan Edelstein, Ph.D, 243 00:11:15,845 --> 00:11:17,282 and he fancies a dinner party. 244 00:11:17,282 --> 00:11:19,280 Great! Let's have 'em over for shabbas. 245 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:22,638 Shh! Keep your voice down. We're at the club. 246 00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:25,834 All right, Camp Refoogee, 247 00:11:25,834 --> 00:11:29,471 we got a special request dedication from Skittles to Little Oprah. 248 00:11:37,343 --> 00:11:39,821 This necklace has a tooth from the snake I killed. 249 00:11:39,821 --> 00:11:42,498 With it you'll always have the heart of Africa. 250 00:11:42,498 --> 00:11:45,535 ♪ I'm tired of playing On the team ♪ 251 00:11:45,535 --> 00:11:49,730 ♪ Ooh, it seems I don't get Time-out anymore ♪ 252 00:11:49,730 --> 00:11:51,928 Open your mouth, lead with the tongue. 253 00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:53,566 Dad. 254 00:11:53,566 --> 00:11:55,405 That's how I kissed Amy Bennett at camp. 255 00:11:55,405 --> 00:11:57,722 I don't want your camp experience, okay? 256 00:11:57,722 --> 00:12:00,519 I was making my own experience, and you ruined it. 257 00:12:00,519 --> 00:12:01,719 Makeva! 258 00:12:12,428 --> 00:12:14,106 Uncle Stan, it's the Bawango! 259 00:12:14,106 --> 00:12:16,783 Camp Bawango? Oh, it's a panty raid! 260 00:12:16,783 --> 00:12:19,221 I was not expecting that. Touche, rich kids. 261 00:12:21,139 --> 00:12:23,017 Oh, that seems a bit excessive. 262 00:12:23,017 --> 00:12:25,614 No! Steve! 263 00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:27,613 Hey, take the panties, leave the girl! 264 00:12:27,613 --> 00:12:29,811 Dad, they just kidnapped Makeva! 265 00:12:29,811 --> 00:12:32,886 All right, I understand "kidnapped," but what is "Makeva"? 266 00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:35,405 Aw, I bet that little girl they stole could've told me. 267 00:12:41,079 --> 00:12:42,797 No! 268 00:12:42,797 --> 00:12:44,875 Mr. Tetherball! 269 00:12:44,875 --> 00:12:48,671 Oh, your days of pole-wrapping are through, sir. 270 00:12:48,671 --> 00:12:51,069 And I salute you. 271 00:12:51,069 --> 00:12:53,347 Dad, you have to help me get Makeva back. 272 00:12:53,347 --> 00:12:55,344 But I don't know what to do. 273 00:12:55,344 --> 00:12:58,382 "I don't know what to do." You can act like a man! 274 00:12:58,382 --> 00:13:00,620 There's no hitting at Camp Refoogee. 275 00:13:00,620 --> 00:13:03,177 Look, the Bawango rebels ruined our camp 276 00:13:03,177 --> 00:13:04,815 and took one of your campers. 277 00:13:04,815 --> 00:13:06,374 Are you gonna let them get away with that? 278 00:13:07,013 --> 00:13:07,932 Don't move, Steve. 279 00:13:07,932 --> 00:13:09,291 Just give 'em your credit card 280 00:13:09,291 --> 00:13:10,809 and we'll cancel it when we get home. 281 00:13:10,809 --> 00:13:13,927 Dad, these are your campers. They're rallying around you. 282 00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:16,244 Oh, yes, right. Right. Thanks, fellas. 283 00:13:16,244 --> 00:13:18,602 You're right, Steve. We've gotta get your girl. 284 00:13:18,602 --> 00:13:21,758 And there's only one way to deal with these vicious rebels. 285 00:13:22,358 --> 00:13:23,597 Camp Olympics? 286 00:13:23,597 --> 00:13:25,954 That's right. We challenge you. 287 00:13:25,954 --> 00:13:27,393 I accept the challenge. 288 00:13:27,393 --> 00:13:29,071 If we win, we get the girl, 289 00:13:29,071 --> 00:13:30,790 and the refugees get their land back. 290 00:13:30,790 --> 00:13:33,108 And if we win, we get the girl, 291 00:13:33,108 --> 00:13:35,824 and the beautiful E! Entertainment Television T-shirts. 292 00:13:36,664 --> 00:13:38,023 Hmm. 293 00:13:38,023 --> 00:13:39,620 -Dad! -Fine, fine. 294 00:13:40,060 --> 00:13:41,059 You're on. 295 00:13:43,537 --> 00:13:46,094 Now, that lamp there we bought back in '89. 296 00:13:46,094 --> 00:13:49,091 I remember the year 'cause Amanda and I had just seen Old Gringo, 297 00:13:49,091 --> 00:13:51,209 and I wanted something heavy to bash my head in. 298 00:13:53,167 --> 00:13:57,123 You have a story for everything, even the wallpaper. 299 00:13:57,123 --> 00:13:58,961 -Where did you say it was from? -Egypt. 300 00:13:58,961 --> 00:14:00,999 We were there while Jordan was doing research 301 00:14:00,999 --> 00:14:02,517 for his economics dissertation. 302 00:14:03,477 --> 00:14:05,474 Mandy, a moment? 303 00:14:05,474 --> 00:14:07,713 I told you, I don't study economics. 304 00:14:07,713 --> 00:14:09,151 I'm a political scientist. 305 00:14:09,151 --> 00:14:10,350 That's right. 306 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,748 Oh, well, too late now. 307 00:14:11,748 --> 00:14:13,946 I said economics. It's been established. 308 00:14:16,344 --> 00:14:17,862 Candy. 309 00:14:17,862 --> 00:14:22,217 ♪ Candy, Candy, Candy I can't let you go ♪ 310 00:14:22,217 --> 00:14:23,817 Uh, how much you weigh, Candy? 311 00:14:23,817 --> 00:14:25,735 A hundred, we figure. Maybe 105? 312 00:14:25,735 --> 00:14:27,692 I guess about that. 313 00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:30,730 Mm-hmm. Pretty fit, tight. 314 00:14:30,730 --> 00:14:32,248 My wife used to look like you. 315 00:14:32,248 --> 00:14:34,326 Let's not get nasty, Professor. 316 00:14:34,326 --> 00:14:37,682 I'm just saying to the attractive girl that you used to look good 317 00:14:37,682 --> 00:14:40,320 -before you went to rehab. -I never went to rehab. 318 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:41,598 You have now. 319 00:14:41,598 --> 00:14:42,998 It's been established. 320 00:14:53,627 --> 00:14:54,746 Let the games begin! 321 00:15:28,032 --> 00:15:30,549 ♪ I like big butts And I cannot lie ♪ 322 00:15:30,549 --> 00:15:32,347 ♪ You other brothers Can't deny ♪ 323 00:15:32,347 --> 00:15:34,346 ♪ That when a girl walks in With an itty-bitty waste ♪ 324 00:15:34,346 --> 00:15:36,623 ♪ And a round thing In your face you get sprung ♪ 325 00:15:45,575 --> 00:15:48,851 The fourth guy I should've married instead of Jordan 326 00:15:48,851 --> 00:15:51,129 was Bradford Dorne III. 327 00:15:51,129 --> 00:15:54,046 He had a yacht and a backbone. 328 00:15:54,046 --> 00:15:57,123 You're boring our guests with your pathetic rants, dear. 329 00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,240 Make me another drink, Jordan. 330 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:03,916 He justifies his existence by mixing a passable cocktail. 331 00:16:03,916 --> 00:16:05,675 Yes, love. Whatever love wants. 332 00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:08,711 -Amanda wears a hairpiece. -What? 333 00:16:08,711 --> 00:16:12,547 Oh, yeah. Worst case of female pattern baldness the doctor's ever seen. 334 00:16:12,547 --> 00:16:16,343 Well, maybe if you'd studied medicine rather than economics, 335 00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:17,822 you'd be able to help me. 336 00:16:17,822 --> 00:16:20,699 In the words of every sitcom character in the early '90s 337 00:16:20,699 --> 00:16:23,097 and everyone in the Midwest through the rest of the '90s, 338 00:16:23,097 --> 00:16:24,295 "Don't go there." 339 00:16:24,295 --> 00:16:25,894 Come on, Professor. 340 00:16:25,894 --> 00:16:29,491 Tell the kids about all the economics conventions you attend, 341 00:16:29,491 --> 00:16:32,967 discussing economics with the economics people. 342 00:16:42,158 --> 00:16:43,996 Tell them how you killed our baby, Amanda. 343 00:16:43,996 --> 00:16:45,274 Jordan, no! 344 00:16:45,274 --> 00:16:46,753 Real, real tragedy. 345 00:16:46,753 --> 00:16:48,271 Amanda was drunk, of course, 346 00:16:48,271 --> 00:16:49,909 and she wasn't watching the pool. 347 00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:51,349 We were at Lake Geneva. 348 00:16:51,349 --> 00:16:53,507 I was receiving an award for my work in... 349 00:16:53,507 --> 00:16:55,465 What was it, dear? Economics! 350 00:16:56,862 --> 00:16:58,222 I wanted to have another child, 351 00:16:58,222 --> 00:17:00,420 but her uterus was polluted from all the syphilis. 352 00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:03,576 You bastard! 353 00:17:03,576 --> 00:17:05,814 Wait. Wait. 354 00:17:09,650 --> 00:17:12,367 The score is tied leading into the final event, 355 00:17:12,367 --> 00:17:13,527 the footrace. 356 00:17:13,527 --> 00:17:14,845 I wanna run, Dad. 357 00:17:14,845 --> 00:17:17,323 It's my girl, my race. 358 00:17:17,323 --> 00:17:18,602 I'm proud of you, son. 359 00:17:18,602 --> 00:17:20,759 All of Camp Refoogee is behind you. 360 00:17:20,759 --> 00:17:23,117 So keep your hand on your wallet. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 361 00:17:23,117 --> 00:17:24,635 I-I can't help myself. I'm terrible. 362 00:17:30,869 --> 00:17:34,386 With this you'll always have the heart of Africa. 363 00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:36,503 Stevie, bombaye! 364 00:17:36,503 --> 00:17:38,182 Stevie, bombaye! 365 00:17:49,810 --> 00:17:52,367 Guys, there's a lion. Guys? Lion. 366 00:17:54,725 --> 00:17:56,643 -Never mind. -Way to go, champ! 367 00:17:57,803 --> 00:17:59,401 Oh! Here comes your girl. 368 00:17:59,401 --> 00:18:00,719 Get ready for your victory kiss. 369 00:18:00,719 --> 00:18:01,998 Don't think of Tommy Bennett. 370 00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:06,593 But I-I won the race for you. 371 00:18:06,593 --> 00:18:07,952 I'm sorry, Steve, 372 00:18:07,952 --> 00:18:09,351 but I'm kind of a crazy chick. 373 00:18:15,745 --> 00:18:17,622 -Is it over? -Yes. 374 00:18:17,622 --> 00:18:20,140 -Are we going to be okay? -Yes. 375 00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:21,899 Do you think maybe the baby 376 00:18:21,899 --> 00:18:23,577 couldn't have drowned in the pool? 377 00:18:23,577 --> 00:18:26,053 No, you left the gate open, and she sank like a stone. 378 00:18:26,053 --> 00:18:27,892 You have to live with that for the rest of your life. 379 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:43,557 Hey, champ. Camp love can be tough, huh? 380 00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:46,353 How would you know? You got your camp love. 381 00:18:46,353 --> 00:18:49,271 -Actually, I didn't. -What? 382 00:18:49,271 --> 00:18:50,709 I loved Amy Bennett, 383 00:18:50,709 --> 00:18:52,906 but the part I didn't tell you was 384 00:18:52,906 --> 00:18:54,026 she didn't love me back. 385 00:18:54,745 --> 00:18:56,144 She broke my heart. 386 00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:58,222 Wow. 387 00:18:58,222 --> 00:19:00,980 I guess I ended up having your camp experience after all. 388 00:19:00,980 --> 00:19:03,138 Yeah, I guess you did. 389 00:19:03,138 --> 00:19:05,654 Hey, Steve, you know the good thing about first love? 390 00:19:05,654 --> 00:19:07,773 It's the first of many. 391 00:19:07,773 --> 00:19:09,331 So how'd you get over Amy? 392 00:19:09,331 --> 00:19:10,888 Well, son, as you grow older, 393 00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:12,608 you'll find that the hurt fades away... 394 00:19:12,608 --> 00:19:14,925 Why, Amy? Why don't you love me? 395 00:19:19,081 --> 00:19:20,599 It's gonna be okay, Dad. 396 00:19:20,599 --> 00:19:22,198 Don't you dare patronize me! 397 00:19:22,198 --> 00:19:25,394 Amy! Amy! 398 00:19:29,510 --> 00:19:31,629 I don't wanna live! 399 00:19:37,423 --> 00:19:39,061 Thank God we're going home. 400 00:19:39,061 --> 00:19:41,259 I think I gained the African 20. 401 00:19:41,259 --> 00:19:43,776 Seriously, I threw away more food than I ate. 402 00:19:43,776 --> 00:19:45,694 Everyone is on the buses and ready to go. 403 00:19:45,694 --> 00:19:47,572 I hate the last day of camp. 404 00:19:47,572 --> 00:19:49,490 You better write me when you get home, H. Rod. 405 00:19:49,490 --> 00:19:50,769 We don't have homes. 406 00:19:50,769 --> 00:19:52,208 The rebels destroyed everything. 407 00:19:52,208 --> 00:19:53,687 Oh, right. 408 00:19:53,687 --> 00:19:55,564 I guess I don't like thinking about your horrible situation. 409 00:19:57,042 --> 00:19:58,881 Just like the rest of the world. 410 00:19:58,881 --> 00:20:00,360 Shame on you! 411 00:20:01,519 --> 00:20:03,077 All right, dude. Take it easy. 412 00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:08,072 Thanks, Dad. Camp was awesome! 413 00:20:08,072 --> 00:20:10,230 Yeah, we'll never forget these guys. 414 00:20:10,230 --> 00:20:13,587 Hot Rod, Skittles, Brooklyn Pete, 415 00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:16,744 Spark Plug, Riuniti, Whitey... 416 00:20:16,744 --> 00:20:18,141 Oh, that's you, Steve.