1 00:00:03,077 --> 00:00:05,715 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 2 00:00:05,715 --> 00:00:09,111 ♪ I got a feeling That it's gonna be A wonderful day ♪ 3 00:00:09,111 --> 00:00:12,068 ♪ The sun in the sky Has a smile on his face ♪ 4 00:00:12,068 --> 00:00:15,145 ♪ And he's shining a salute To the American race ♪ 5 00:00:18,142 --> 00:00:21,179 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 6 00:00:21,179 --> 00:00:23,697 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 7 00:00:26,134 --> 00:00:28,891 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 8 00:00:38,042 --> 00:00:39,760 I think he went this way! Come on! 9 00:00:48,671 --> 00:00:51,668 Looks like Smith weaseled out of gym class again, Dad. 10 00:00:51,668 --> 00:00:54,705 I told you. Here at school, you call me Coach, dipwad! 11 00:00:54,705 --> 00:00:57,942 Where did those dogs come from? 12 00:01:02,977 --> 00:01:05,335 You ditching gym class, too? 13 00:01:05,335 --> 00:01:07,653 Today is track. 14 00:01:07,653 --> 00:01:09,691 I hate running. 15 00:01:09,691 --> 00:01:12,608 Then we're on the same page. Welcome to my sanctuary. 16 00:01:12,608 --> 00:01:15,485 Look at them, scurrying around like ants. 17 00:01:15,485 --> 00:01:17,682 Go ahead. Exercise all you want. 18 00:01:17,682 --> 00:01:21,838 You'll never escape the smoky death of time's magnifying glass. 19 00:01:21,838 --> 00:01:23,876 Wow, that's a little dark. 20 00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:25,914 Not at all. Life is a banquet. 21 00:01:25,914 --> 00:01:29,311 -And death is dessert. -I love dessert! 22 00:01:29,750 --> 00:01:31,349 Mmm. 23 00:01:33,947 --> 00:01:35,705 That's one impressive man. 24 00:01:35,705 --> 00:01:37,543 Handsome, fit, the whole package. 25 00:01:37,543 --> 00:01:40,579 That's great, Stan. Can we stop staring at your reflection in the TV, 26 00:01:40,579 --> 00:01:42,657 and actually turn it on now? 27 00:01:42,657 --> 00:01:44,695 I promised my Mr. Belvedere chat group, 28 00:01:44,695 --> 00:01:47,293 I'd post a summary of this episode by 6:00. 29 00:01:47,293 --> 00:01:49,011 Those losers are pretty punctual. 30 00:01:49,011 --> 00:01:51,848 Good news, everyone. I'm in love. 31 00:01:51,848 --> 00:01:54,325 -Tell us about her, sweetie. -Her name is Debbie. 32 00:01:54,325 --> 00:01:57,923 She smells like a glue stick, she shares my interest in bug zappers, 33 00:01:57,923 --> 00:02:01,039 and she likes reading old books by guys who died of syphilis. 34 00:02:01,039 --> 00:02:03,517 Syphilis! Ooh, la, la! 35 00:02:03,517 --> 00:02:05,435 Great. Thanks to your gassing on, 36 00:02:05,435 --> 00:02:08,511 I completely missed why Mr. Belvedere is stomping on his hat. 37 00:02:08,511 --> 00:02:11,069 The Internet is not going to be happy. 38 00:02:11,069 --> 00:02:13,028 So, what's this Debbie's affiliation? 39 00:02:13,028 --> 00:02:14,946 Varsity cheerleader or regular cheerleader? 40 00:02:14,946 --> 00:02:16,743 Actually, she's more of an artist. 41 00:02:16,743 --> 00:02:19,900 She played Lady Macbeth in our school production of Oklahoma. 42 00:02:19,900 --> 00:02:21,339 Frankly, it was a mess, 43 00:02:21,339 --> 00:02:23,895 but our drama teacher finally got sober, thank God. 44 00:02:23,895 --> 00:02:25,695 So she's an actress. Attaboy! 45 00:02:25,695 --> 00:02:27,812 My son is dating a hot actress. 46 00:02:27,812 --> 00:02:31,888 I guess. But mostly I like her because she's so unusual and fascinating. 47 00:02:31,888 --> 00:02:34,485 Of course she's fascinating. She's gorgeous. 48 00:02:34,485 --> 00:02:36,045 You know, I hear she's an actress. 49 00:02:36,045 --> 00:02:38,401 And this girl actually wants to spend time with you? 50 00:02:38,401 --> 00:02:41,239 For your information, she said she thinks I'm cute. 51 00:02:41,239 --> 00:02:44,275 So she lies. Great. That's how you know she doesn't have a penis. 52 00:02:44,275 --> 00:02:47,513 -We can't wait to meet her, Steve. -You can say that again. 53 00:02:47,513 --> 00:02:50,868 It'll be nice to have a pretty girl around the house for a change. 54 00:02:50,868 --> 00:02:53,826 I-I meant, a pretty younger girl. 55 00:02:53,826 --> 00:02:55,504 Don't get mad at me. It's called makeup. 56 00:02:59,181 --> 00:03:01,538 Dad, I have a confession about Debbie. 57 00:03:01,538 --> 00:03:04,335 I haven't actually asked her out yet. 58 00:03:04,335 --> 00:03:07,133 Oh, thank God. I thought you were gonna tell me she isn't a cheerleader. 59 00:03:07,133 --> 00:03:10,290 The thing is, I really like Debbie, but I keep chickening out. 60 00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:11,769 Steve, I'm going to motivate you, 61 00:03:11,769 --> 00:03:14,685 the same way the CIA motivates its assassins, 62 00:03:14,685 --> 00:03:17,243 you know, when they have trouble asking out a girl. 63 00:03:17,243 --> 00:03:20,120 There. If you don't ask Debbie out in 24 hours, 64 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,397 the collar will sense your stress level and blow up. 65 00:03:22,397 --> 00:03:24,355 Blow up? 66 00:03:24,355 --> 00:03:26,793 Whoops. I accidentally set it for 24 minutes. 67 00:03:26,793 --> 00:03:28,752 Oh, man, you better run! 68 00:03:28,752 --> 00:03:30,349 Gotta get to Debbie's house. 69 00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:38,222 Oh, boy! The circus is coming to town. 70 00:03:38,222 --> 00:03:39,740 And I'm gonna die! 71 00:03:41,219 --> 00:03:43,656 Okay, according to my Timex watch, 72 00:03:43,656 --> 00:03:45,335 I still have five minutes left. 73 00:03:55,524 --> 00:03:57,042 Steve, what are you doing here? 74 00:03:57,042 --> 00:03:59,561 Oh, um, I, um-- 75 00:04:08,792 --> 00:04:12,148 I'm so glad you asked me out. This is my favorite spot. 76 00:04:12,148 --> 00:04:13,987 It's so romantic. 77 00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,783 Why did he have to die? 78 00:04:16,783 --> 00:04:20,500 It sucks we put our dead in the earth where we can't watch them decompose. 79 00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:23,776 You know, putrefaction is simply a community of necrophores, 80 00:04:23,776 --> 00:04:27,812 that engorge the carrion with sulfur dioxide gas. 81 00:04:27,812 --> 00:04:30,689 All this talk of death is making me cremate. 82 00:04:35,604 --> 00:04:37,963 Mom, Debbie's gonna be here any minute. 83 00:04:37,963 --> 00:04:40,560 -Dinner's almost done. -I hope you like her, Dad. 84 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,476 Of course I'll like her. After all, she's your girlfriend. 85 00:04:43,476 --> 00:04:45,595 One day, she might even take the Smith name. 86 00:04:45,595 --> 00:04:47,273 What a wedding it will be. 87 00:04:47,273 --> 00:04:49,670 Purple napkins, a make-your-own-crepe station, 88 00:04:49,670 --> 00:04:51,948 and a touching speech, in which I reminisce about the time, 89 00:04:51,948 --> 00:04:53,866 I dropped you on your head as an infant. 90 00:04:53,866 --> 00:04:56,623 And then someone in the crowd yells out, "That explains a lot." 91 00:04:56,623 --> 00:04:59,221 -And we all share a laugh. -Here she comes. 92 00:05:01,738 --> 00:05:04,455 -Where's Debbie? Behind that fat girl? -No, Dad, that's-- 93 00:05:04,455 --> 00:05:06,574 -Is the fat girl going to lead us to Debbie? -No, that's-- 94 00:05:06,574 --> 00:05:09,451 She's carrying a purse. She must have a map to Debbie in her purse. 95 00:05:09,451 --> 00:05:13,007 -Dad, that's Debbie. -To the panic room! 96 00:05:16,244 --> 00:05:19,321 Stan, you're being ridiculous. We have a guest out there. 97 00:05:19,321 --> 00:05:22,277 Please, Francine, show some panic. Our son is dating a fatty. 98 00:05:22,277 --> 00:05:25,594 Dad, that's awful. Plus-size women drive our economy 99 00:05:25,594 --> 00:05:28,191 with their purchases of Garfield books and Haagen-Dazs. 100 00:05:28,191 --> 00:05:30,110 You apologize to your son. 101 00:05:30,110 --> 00:05:32,588 For what? You brought fat into our house. 102 00:05:32,588 --> 00:05:34,785 You'd like Debbie if you got to know her, Dad. 103 00:05:34,785 --> 00:05:38,941 -There's a lot more to her than you think. -There's more of her? 104 00:05:38,941 --> 00:05:41,778 So, what are we panicking about? Is there another new pope? 105 00:05:41,778 --> 00:05:43,058 Damn it, Roger! Lock the door! 106 00:05:43,856 --> 00:05:46,174 Hello? Anyone home? 107 00:05:46,174 --> 00:05:48,291 She smells people food. Don't worry. 108 00:05:48,291 --> 00:05:50,209 She'll probably just rummage around in the refrigerator 109 00:05:50,209 --> 00:05:51,608 and then retreat back to her lair. 110 00:05:51,608 --> 00:05:56,044 My stars! Who is that enchanting Rubenesque vision? 111 00:05:56,044 --> 00:05:58,960 She's like a female Mr. Belvedere. 112 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,238 Hmm. 113 00:06:02,238 --> 00:06:05,035 -I'm goin' after her. -I forbid you to see that girl. 114 00:06:05,035 --> 00:06:07,993 You can't keep us apart. Debbie! 115 00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:09,751 How can you be so cruel? 116 00:06:09,751 --> 00:06:12,468 Do you want your grandchildren to be half fat, Francine? Is that it? 117 00:06:12,468 --> 00:06:14,305 Who are you to judge someone's weight? 118 00:06:14,305 --> 00:06:17,062 Ja, your suit is stuffed tighter than, um, 119 00:06:17,062 --> 00:06:18,980 some funny German word. 120 00:06:18,980 --> 00:06:21,977 Ach, sorry. I'm kinda running out of fish shtick. 121 00:06:21,977 --> 00:06:24,096 Oh! And just like that, I'm back! 122 00:06:24,096 --> 00:06:26,134 You people are crazy. I'm in great shape. 123 00:06:26,134 --> 00:06:28,372 They're right, Stan. You've let yourself go. 124 00:06:28,372 --> 00:06:30,210 What are you talking about? That's impossible. 125 00:06:34,605 --> 00:06:36,643 Good God, it's true! 126 00:06:36,643 --> 00:06:38,642 I've become one of them. 127 00:06:47,553 --> 00:06:49,750 -Ready for some pancakes, Hayley? -Thanks, Mom. 128 00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:52,348 -How about you, Stan? -Not on my diet. Just some OJ. 129 00:06:56,464 --> 00:06:59,621 Where's Steve? Still caught in Debbie's gravitational pull? 130 00:06:59,621 --> 00:07:02,378 That's so unfair, Dad. Overweight people have it hard enough 131 00:07:02,378 --> 00:07:04,376 being disgusting without you making fun of them. 132 00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:08,771 God, look at me. I'm hideous. 133 00:07:08,771 --> 00:07:11,968 Stan, you've been working out for three weeks. You look great. 134 00:07:11,968 --> 00:07:15,484 Great as in great big fatso. You know, this is how it starts, Francine. 135 00:07:15,484 --> 00:07:18,481 First you go soft in the belly. Then you go soft in defense. 136 00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:20,200 Next thing you know, you're wearing a towel on your head, 137 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,197 and using your left hand for toilet paper. 138 00:07:22,197 --> 00:07:23,516 Well, not in my America. 139 00:07:28,232 --> 00:07:31,948 Hey, bro. I couldn't help noticing you're kinda fat and pathetic. 140 00:07:31,948 --> 00:07:34,226 And you're kinda perfect and scrumptious. What's your point? 141 00:07:34,226 --> 00:07:36,384 Name's Zack. I'm a personal trainer. 142 00:07:36,384 --> 00:07:38,302 I wear a trucker cap, and I can mold you 143 00:07:38,302 --> 00:07:40,499 into a dude who won't send the ladies puking. 144 00:07:40,499 --> 00:07:42,977 I'll do anything to look like you. When can we start? 145 00:07:42,977 --> 00:07:45,775 Don't waste time asking questions when you should be rockin' it. 146 00:07:45,775 --> 00:07:48,092 Exercise is everywhere. See those kids? 147 00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:50,610 Potential barbells. Now rock me two hundy! 148 00:07:52,448 --> 00:07:53,526 Shut up and help me count! 149 00:07:57,403 --> 00:07:59,800 Here he comes. Remember, we have to do whatever we can 150 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,198 to get him to eat as much as possible. 151 00:08:02,198 --> 00:08:04,555 Oh, Zack really kicked my ass at the gym today. 152 00:08:04,555 --> 00:08:07,552 That was one exhausting workout. 153 00:08:07,552 --> 00:08:08,672 Oop! Time for my workout. 154 00:08:08,672 --> 00:08:11,669 ♪ Let's hear it for the boy ♪ 155 00:08:11,669 --> 00:08:14,706 ♪ Let's give The boy a hand ♪ 156 00:08:15,944 --> 00:08:18,662 ♪ Let's hear it For my baby ♪ 157 00:08:18,662 --> 00:08:21,499 ♪ You know Ya gotta understand ♪ 158 00:08:21,499 --> 00:08:23,616 You are freaking me out! Sit down and eat! 159 00:08:23,616 --> 00:08:27,133 No can do. Somehow I've gotten even heavier. 160 00:08:27,133 --> 00:08:28,651 Until these pounds start coming off, 161 00:08:28,651 --> 00:08:30,529 I need to stick to the Z-man's plan. 162 00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:33,806 Stop it. You're not fat. 163 00:08:33,806 --> 00:08:37,283 -Now come on. I made your favorite, pot roast. -Get that away from me! 164 00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:39,280 Die, calories! Die! 165 00:08:42,598 --> 00:08:44,874 ♪ Let's hear it For my man ♪ 166 00:08:44,874 --> 00:08:47,313 ♪ Let's hear it For the boy ♪ 167 00:08:50,350 --> 00:08:55,424 You sunk my battleship. 800 souls were lost. 168 00:08:55,424 --> 00:08:57,822 Among them, Lieutenant Don Sharp. 169 00:08:57,822 --> 00:09:00,420 He made it through the bulkhead before it was closed. 170 00:09:00,420 --> 00:09:02,857 At least, half of him did. 171 00:09:02,857 --> 00:09:05,255 -God, you're tweaked. -Take me. 172 00:09:08,132 --> 00:09:10,050 Yeah, mm. 173 00:09:11,768 --> 00:09:13,926 Oh, my Debbie. 174 00:09:13,926 --> 00:09:16,204 That should be me handling your folds 175 00:09:16,204 --> 00:09:18,921 and squeezing your exquisite back fat. 176 00:09:18,921 --> 00:09:21,878 But you don't know you're cheating on me yet, so I forgive you. 177 00:09:28,870 --> 00:09:32,028 One thousand one, 1,002, 1,003. 178 00:09:32,028 --> 00:09:34,505 Whoa there, jumpy. I call you jumpy ironically, 179 00:09:34,505 --> 00:09:36,144 because you suck at jumping rope. 180 00:09:36,144 --> 00:09:39,700 Just like I call fat people "tiny." So start over, jumpy tiny. 181 00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:42,977 -Z-man, how'd you find where I live? -Hey, you're my client. 182 00:09:42,977 --> 00:09:45,854 Now let's rock it up a bump, Chunky Brewster. 183 00:09:45,854 --> 00:09:49,251 What am I doing wrong? No matter what I do, I keep gaining weight. 184 00:09:49,251 --> 00:09:52,727 -Dude, it's your family. They're sabotaging you. -What are you talking about? 185 00:09:52,727 --> 00:09:56,843 You said they were all farked at you for dissin' your son's fat girlfriend. 186 00:09:56,843 --> 00:10:00,240 They-- They want me to get fat like that girl, 187 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:01,918 so I'll apologize to Steve. 188 00:10:01,918 --> 00:10:04,037 Hells, yeah. Now drop and give me a thousand! 189 00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:10,070 Oh, yeah! Details published part of my letter. 190 00:10:10,070 --> 00:10:12,108 No, Hayley. No, put it over here. 191 00:10:12,108 --> 00:10:14,386 Come on. It's fine. It's fine, Mom. Just do it. Go. 192 00:10:14,386 --> 00:10:16,263 Stan! You startled us. 193 00:10:16,263 --> 00:10:18,661 -What are you doing to my celery? -Nothing. 194 00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:21,978 -We're just freezing our... -Tampons. 195 00:10:21,978 --> 00:10:23,736 -What? -It's a woman thing. 196 00:10:23,736 --> 00:10:25,534 Keeps them crisp. Great in the summer. 197 00:10:25,534 --> 00:10:27,372 More refreshing than a Popsicle. 198 00:10:27,372 --> 00:10:30,610 Liars! You were sabotaging my veggies to keep me fat. 199 00:10:30,610 --> 00:10:34,566 Dad, you're not fat. Besides, how could we sabotage your veggies? 200 00:10:34,566 --> 00:10:38,041 Oh, your diet is making you paranoid, Stan. 201 00:10:38,041 --> 00:10:40,000 I'm watching you two. 202 00:10:45,874 --> 00:10:48,751 Whew, that was close. Hand me the syringe of lard. 203 00:10:49,470 --> 00:10:50,549 This'll fatten him up. 204 00:10:54,027 --> 00:10:56,104 This latest billion-dollar obstacle course, 205 00:10:56,104 --> 00:10:58,302 has been designed to push each of you to the limit. 206 00:10:58,302 --> 00:11:01,659 You'll be climbing a net, slinking through tires, 207 00:11:01,659 --> 00:11:05,934 and, most dangerous of all, climbing another net. 208 00:11:05,934 --> 00:11:08,811 Of course, none of this should be any problem for a fit agent. 209 00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:18,921 Oh, look. Miss Pinkerton fainted at the market 210 00:11:18,921 --> 00:11:21,439 buying canned salmon for her puss-puss. 211 00:11:21,439 --> 00:11:23,317 Get up, Smith! 212 00:11:23,317 --> 00:11:26,873 I have no choice but to suspend you until you deal with your weight problem. 213 00:11:30,749 --> 00:11:33,307 I hope all you blubber-loving Judases are happy. 214 00:11:33,307 --> 00:11:35,944 I just got suspended because I'm in such bad shape. 215 00:11:35,944 --> 00:11:38,102 Well, maybe now you'll listen to us. 216 00:11:38,102 --> 00:11:39,821 You've become a man obsessed. 217 00:11:39,821 --> 00:11:41,699 We're all so worried about you. 218 00:11:41,699 --> 00:11:44,215 We have Grey's Anatomy on Season Pass, yes? 219 00:11:44,215 --> 00:11:46,534 Yes. 220 00:11:46,534 --> 00:11:50,889 I was just fine until you all decided to teach me a lesson by scheming against me. 221 00:11:50,889 --> 00:11:52,967 Now even my boss says I have a weight problem. 222 00:11:52,967 --> 00:11:55,125 You do have a weight problem! 223 00:11:55,125 --> 00:11:57,283 But it's not that you're too fat. 224 00:11:57,283 --> 00:12:00,640 Dad, we've done some research, and we think you're anorexic. 225 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:04,355 -What? -You keep thinking you're fat no matter how skinny you get. 226 00:12:04,355 --> 00:12:06,953 That's ridiculous. Look at me. 227 00:12:06,953 --> 00:12:09,391 It's worse than we thought. 228 00:12:09,391 --> 00:12:12,187 I know. I'm a huge tub of lard. 229 00:12:12,187 --> 00:12:15,984 No, you aren't. You're just suffering from a delusional state. 230 00:12:15,984 --> 00:12:17,862 "Delusional?" I'm not delusional. 231 00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:20,699 -Tell 'em, Zack. -Bro, don't listen to them. 232 00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:24,096 Stan, there's no one there. Who are you talking to? 233 00:12:24,096 --> 00:12:27,692 Z-man, this is Francine, Steve, my daughter, Hayley... 234 00:12:27,692 --> 00:12:29,450 I know, I know. But she won't wear makeup. 235 00:12:32,808 --> 00:12:35,125 No! I don't have a weight problem! 236 00:12:35,125 --> 00:12:38,282 -You can't make me go in there! -You're sick, and you need help. 237 00:12:38,282 --> 00:12:40,719 And you're uncommonly strong. 238 00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:43,317 So then I said, "What the hell. I'm on vacation." 239 00:12:43,317 --> 00:12:45,275 And I had a second tic tac. 240 00:12:45,275 --> 00:12:48,671 You can totally tell. Look at her massive tic tac thighs. 241 00:12:51,149 --> 00:12:53,985 -Eating disorders are no laughing matter, young lady. -"Young lady?" 242 00:12:53,985 --> 00:12:57,262 Now, now. I-I know in high school, in the showers with the other girls, 243 00:12:57,262 --> 00:12:59,101 you feel uncomfortable with your body. 244 00:12:59,101 --> 00:13:01,579 -I'm not in high school. -When was the last time you menstruated? 245 00:13:01,579 --> 00:13:04,735 -I've never menstruated! -Hear that, girls? Cautionary tale. 246 00:13:04,735 --> 00:13:08,531 Anorexia will dry up your ovaries like tobacco in the sun. 247 00:13:08,531 --> 00:13:10,170 Now, instead of starving yourselves, 248 00:13:10,170 --> 00:13:12,887 let's discuss healthier ways to get back at Daddy. 249 00:13:12,887 --> 00:13:15,125 Like marrying a black dude. 250 00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:18,761 -Living with an anorexic can be a real challenge. -How did this happen? 251 00:13:18,761 --> 00:13:21,719 Well, when young girls like your father get this disease, 252 00:13:21,719 --> 00:13:24,116 it's usually the result of a jarring event. 253 00:13:24,116 --> 00:13:26,274 Was he recently cut from the cheerleading squad? 254 00:13:27,433 --> 00:13:28,911 No. 255 00:13:28,911 --> 00:13:32,148 -Has there been a change at home? -"A change at home?" 256 00:13:32,148 --> 00:13:35,185 You brought fat into our house! 257 00:13:35,185 --> 00:13:37,064 I shouldn't be here, Veronica. 258 00:13:37,064 --> 00:13:39,460 Yeah, but your family will keep sending you back, 259 00:13:39,460 --> 00:13:41,459 until they think you're "getting better." 260 00:13:41,459 --> 00:13:43,975 But I don't wanna eat. I hate food. 261 00:13:43,975 --> 00:13:46,494 Don't sweat it. I've got a few tricks I can teach you. 262 00:13:49,650 --> 00:13:51,568 That's been in there for days. 263 00:13:54,486 --> 00:13:58,241 No, no, Debbie. This breakup has nothing to do with my dad at all. 264 00:13:58,241 --> 00:14:01,479 It's just, you know, this is a really bad time for me. 265 00:14:01,479 --> 00:14:03,677 The Ghostbusters box set just came out. 266 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:06,033 What with that and the new Doom being released, 267 00:14:06,033 --> 00:14:09,111 I just don't think I can give you the time you need. 268 00:14:09,111 --> 00:14:10,948 Forget me, big, beautiful creature! 269 00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:20,619 The girl who loves to go to the market is now back on it. 270 00:14:20,619 --> 00:14:23,017 Soon she'll be mine. Debbie! 271 00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:28,412 Oh! Whose foot is that? Paddington Bear, you randy bastard. 272 00:14:31,169 --> 00:14:32,207 Mmm. 273 00:14:33,167 --> 00:14:34,725 Stan, you're eating so well. 274 00:14:34,725 --> 00:14:37,682 Let's just say I learned a lot from my new friend Veronica. 275 00:14:37,682 --> 00:14:40,320 You just keep focusing on getting better, Dad. 276 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:43,636 And you'll be glad to know Debbie won't be around to upset you anymore. 277 00:14:43,636 --> 00:14:47,832 -What do you mean, Steve? -We... went our separate ways! 278 00:14:49,910 --> 00:14:51,908 It's good to see he's finally happy. 279 00:14:51,908 --> 00:14:55,145 Well, I'm stuffed. I'm gonna take a walk and digest this nutritious repast. 280 00:15:07,493 --> 00:15:09,730 Thank you, Veronica, you fat bitch. 281 00:15:37,142 --> 00:15:40,299 Good-bye, Debbie. I'm getting rid of everything that reminds me of you, 282 00:15:40,299 --> 00:15:44,056 and sealing it in this beautiful hope chest you made me. 283 00:15:44,056 --> 00:15:46,534 -How you doin', Dad? -Fat and healthy, Son. 284 00:15:46,534 --> 00:15:48,611 In a few weeks, I'll be a regular Debbie. 285 00:15:51,090 --> 00:15:54,445 Steve, what's wrong? What about the word "regular" set you off? 286 00:15:54,445 --> 00:15:56,564 Here, have a Little Debbie. 287 00:15:56,564 --> 00:15:58,361 What, now it's the word "little"? 288 00:15:58,361 --> 00:16:00,039 You know what? Why don't I put on some Debbie Gibson, 289 00:16:00,039 --> 00:16:04,835 and we can talk about it? 290 00:16:04,835 --> 00:16:07,832 I'm glad you're better, Dad, but I miss Debbie. 291 00:16:07,832 --> 00:16:10,789 Oh, is that what this is about? Look, you're better off. 292 00:16:10,789 --> 00:16:13,067 In fact, I've got a hot friend I wanna set you up with. 293 00:16:13,067 --> 00:16:14,625 I don't know, Dad. 294 00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:16,224 Come on. She's a cheerleader 295 00:16:16,224 --> 00:16:18,022 And a real one, not one of those fat jobs 296 00:16:18,022 --> 00:16:19,981 whose mother has to sue to get them on the team. 297 00:16:22,097 --> 00:16:24,376 Okay, so we'll split the olive. You have the radish. 298 00:16:24,376 --> 00:16:26,014 I'll have some of that decorative parsley. 299 00:16:26,014 --> 00:16:28,292 -And we'll both suck on ice chips for dessert. -Great. 300 00:16:28,292 --> 00:16:32,408 I'm gonna walk past the Stroganoff and sniff it a little. 301 00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,845 What'd I tell you, huh? Look at her. She's the picture of health. 302 00:16:39,441 --> 00:16:40,960 Thanks for letting me interview you 303 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:43,716 -for the Anne Rice fan club newsletter. -Oh, no problem. 304 00:16:43,716 --> 00:16:45,995 -How did you get my number again? -Huh? 305 00:16:45,995 --> 00:16:47,393 Oh, from your high school principal. 306 00:16:47,393 --> 00:16:49,831 Yeah, huge Anne Rice fan. Total 'mo. 307 00:16:49,831 --> 00:16:52,468 Hi. Uh, reservations for two under Roget. 308 00:16:52,468 --> 00:16:54,506 -We don't take reservations. -Excellent. 309 00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:02,138 Of all the buffets, Steve's at this one? 310 00:17:03,177 --> 00:17:05,175 Here we are. Oh, lucky you. 311 00:17:05,175 --> 00:17:07,172 You got a perfect view of the busboy station. 312 00:17:07,172 --> 00:17:09,731 Dinner and a show. Thank you, Sherry. 313 00:17:09,731 --> 00:17:11,329 -My name is Helen. -Excellent. 314 00:17:19,241 --> 00:17:20,320 Whoa! 315 00:17:22,398 --> 00:17:23,556 Whoa! 316 00:17:38,940 --> 00:17:40,500 What's happening? 317 00:17:43,177 --> 00:17:46,334 He never cleaned his plate. He just moved the food. 318 00:17:46,334 --> 00:17:48,731 He just moved the food. 319 00:17:49,370 --> 00:17:50,449 Why? 320 00:17:50,449 --> 00:17:52,367 Why? 321 00:17:56,923 --> 00:17:58,322 I like your face. 322 00:17:58,322 --> 00:18:00,959 Oh. I thought we were here so you could interview me. 323 00:18:00,959 --> 00:18:02,997 I am. I am. So, question one. 324 00:18:02,997 --> 00:18:06,554 -On a scale of zero to Lestat, how cute am I? -What? 325 00:18:06,554 --> 00:18:10,549 Speakin' of back rubs, you look like you could use a rub-a-dub-dub. 326 00:18:10,549 --> 00:18:13,666 It's okay. I'm a licensed chiropractor or something. 327 00:18:13,666 --> 00:18:15,424 Look, my boyfriend and I just broke up, 328 00:18:15,424 --> 00:18:18,141 but I'm still kinda holding out hope that we'll get back together. 329 00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:19,981 Oh. 330 00:18:24,415 --> 00:18:26,213 -You know, why don't we switch seats, huh? -Oh! 331 00:18:26,213 --> 00:18:29,091 Chinese fire drill! Ah, we're havin' fun. 332 00:18:29,091 --> 00:18:29,930 Hmm? 333 00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:33,566 Oh, my God. That's my ex-boyfriend. 334 00:18:33,566 --> 00:18:35,604 I can't believe he's moved on. 335 00:18:35,604 --> 00:18:37,043 You know what would teach him a lesson? 336 00:18:37,043 --> 00:18:39,081 If he saw me and you makin' out. 337 00:18:39,081 --> 00:18:41,119 I don't know. He's not even looking. 338 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:43,516 -Excellent. -Stan Smith! 339 00:18:43,516 --> 00:18:45,595 We found your food graveyard. 340 00:18:45,595 --> 00:18:48,072 You haven't been getting better at all. 341 00:18:48,072 --> 00:18:51,349 What? I broke up with Debbie 'cause I thought it would help you. 342 00:18:51,349 --> 00:18:52,827 And you weren't even trying? 343 00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:55,385 Guys, I can explain. I was lying to you. 344 00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:57,502 Debbie was the best thing that ever happened to me, 345 00:18:57,502 --> 00:18:59,940 and you drove her away because of your stupid obsession 346 00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:01,659 with how people look. 347 00:19:01,659 --> 00:19:03,936 I had a real connection with someone for the first time in my life, 348 00:19:03,936 --> 00:19:06,054 and all you cared about was her appearance. 349 00:19:06,054 --> 00:19:08,492 I don't care if she was fat or thin. 350 00:19:08,492 --> 00:19:12,048 She was sweet and beautiful and kinda freaky in a good way. 351 00:19:12,048 --> 00:19:15,125 And I'm gonna check every buffet in town until I find her. 352 00:19:15,125 --> 00:19:17,922 -You don't have to, Steve. -Debbie! 353 00:19:17,922 --> 00:19:20,799 -You had me at lasagna. -I never said lasagna. 354 00:19:20,799 --> 00:19:22,877 Well, I was thinking about it. 355 00:19:22,877 --> 00:19:24,435 I missed you too. 356 00:19:24,435 --> 00:19:27,073 -I like you so much, Steve. -Oh, I love your chunky lips. 357 00:19:28,352 --> 00:19:31,268 No! 358 00:19:31,268 --> 00:19:32,946 Uh, hi. Still waiting for bread sticks. 359 00:19:32,946 --> 00:19:35,425 I asked, like, five times. I don't know if this is your station. 360 00:19:36,664 --> 00:19:40,699 They're so... happy together. 361 00:19:40,699 --> 00:19:43,457 Steve's right. It's me that's been ugly. 362 00:19:43,457 --> 00:19:46,973 Inside... and outside. 363 00:19:47,612 --> 00:19:48,851 Hand me those rolls. 364 00:19:50,410 --> 00:19:51,968 Don't do it, bro. You're a fatty. 365 00:19:52,527 --> 00:19:54,646 No! No! 366 00:19:54,646 --> 00:19:59,520 Bro! Bro! Bro! Bro! 367 00:20:01,439 --> 00:20:04,675 Steve, whether you wanna date a fatso, a girl with hairy arms, 368 00:20:04,675 --> 00:20:06,673 or even one with Kirsten Dunst teeth, 369 00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:08,152 it doesn't matter to me. 370 00:20:08,152 --> 00:20:11,308 -If you're happy, I'm happy. -Thanks, Dad. 371 00:20:11,308 --> 00:20:13,386 It's good to have you back, Stan. 372 00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:15,144 It's good to be back. 373 00:20:15,144 --> 00:20:17,783 Hayley, are you wearing makeup? You look like a whore.