1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,421
[♪ mysterious music playing]
2
00:00:03,421 --> 00:00:06,799
{\an8}- And everyone was killed?
- All but three.
3
00:00:06,799 --> 00:00:09,802
{\an8}And their alibi
is very, very dumb.
4
00:00:11,387 --> 00:00:14,473
- They're in love.
- Hey. Don't do that.
5
00:00:16,851 --> 00:00:19,687
I don't think that guy
even works here.
6
00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,814
Ugh. It happens all the time.
7
00:00:21,814 --> 00:00:26,152
Weirdos show up
and try to make corpses
touch and kiss and stuff.
8
00:00:26,152 --> 00:00:28,154
[chuckles softly] I get it.
9
00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:30,823
[wind howling]
10
00:00:32,575 --> 00:00:34,744
[man] That's not
enough mustard.
11
00:00:34,744 --> 00:00:36,662
- Give me the bathroom key.
- More olives.
12
00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:38,330
You smell like mayonnaise.
13
00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:39,999
- You suck.
- Give me the bathroom key.
14
00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:43,002
- Make me a new one.
- You don't have eggs Benedict?
15
00:00:43,002 --> 00:00:44,044
You're nothing.
16
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,796
- You're nothing.
- You're nothing.
17
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,757
- [sighs]
- [sauce bottle squirting]
18
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,843
[♪ theme song playing]
19
00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:54,221
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
20
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:57,558
♪ I got a feeling
That it's gonna be
A wonderful day ♪
21
00:00:57,558 --> 00:01:00,686
♪ The sun in the sky
Has a smile on his face ♪
22
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:04,732
♪ And he's shining a salute
To the American race ♪
23
00:01:07,443 --> 00:01:10,488
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
24
00:01:10,488 --> 00:01:13,032
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
25
00:01:13,032 --> 00:01:14,116
[Roger] Ah!
26
00:01:15,618 --> 00:01:18,496
{\an8}[chorus]
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
27
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,210
{\an8}Phew.
28
00:01:24,210 --> 00:01:26,796
{\an8}- Another rough one at Sub Hub.
- Pretty rough one here too.
29
00:01:26,796 --> 00:01:29,298
{\an8}Emily's dad's sick.
She might have to leave Paris.
30
00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:33,969
{\an8}God, I wish I was rich so
you wouldn't have to work
for the both of us.
31
00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:36,555
{\an8}I would spoil you.
32
00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:39,475
{\an8}Ah, nothing a little
shower cry can't fix.
33
00:01:39,475 --> 00:01:43,979
{\an8}You know, one of my personas
has a suite at the amazing
Brown Lotus resort
34
00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:46,357
{\an8}up in Langleytano
that she's not gonna use.
35
00:01:46,357 --> 00:01:49,401
{\an8}It's non-refundable.
You guys could use it
for a little staycay.
36
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:52,363
{\an8}- All expenses paid.
- All expenses paid?
37
00:01:52,363 --> 00:01:56,742
{\an8}- We can pretend I paid for it.
- Maybe I could use
a good spoiling.
38
00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:58,160
{\an8}[both] Yes!
39
00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,372
{\an8}- Let's go to the fancy hotel.
- [both] Yes, yes, yes!
40
00:02:01,372 --> 00:02:05,000
{\an8}I know this is
your guys' thing,
but I can still be excited.
41
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,129
{\an8}Bad news.
42
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:12,424
{\an8}The Antarctica snafu
isn't flying under the radar
like we'd hoped.
43
00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:17,429
{\an8}In fact, it's very much
on Congress' radar
and they have cut our funding.
44
00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:18,514
{\an8}[all gasp]
45
00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:21,267
{\an8}We've lost our jets,
foreign agents,
46
00:02:21,267 --> 00:02:24,395
{\an8}and if we're not careful,
omelette bar.
47
00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:25,688
[gasps]
48
00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:29,149
♪ Someone's in the kitchen
with Dinah ♪
49
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,485
♪ Someone's in the kitchen,
I know ♪
50
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,612
♪ Someone's in the kitchen
with Dinah ♪
51
00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:36,031
♪ Strumming on the old banjo ♪
52
00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:39,577
{\an8}Can't lose him. He's the only
omelette chef we've had
who could do that.
53
00:02:39,577 --> 00:02:41,495
{\an8}He's a generational talent.
54
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:45,499
{\an8}But these are desperate times,
and that calls for
desperate measures.
55
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:49,128
That's why we're going
to do a rebrand.
56
00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:53,465
The CIA is currently
the least favorable thing
in the city.
57
00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,968
We're even below
all this stuff.
58
00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:58,554
We're even below that guy
that walks around town
59
00:02:58,554 --> 00:02:59,847
throwing eggs at people?
60
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:03,642
- Oh, man. I hate that guy.
- Yeah, this is bad.
61
00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,227
We're even below him.
62
00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:08,856
But we've found
the most beloved thing
in the city is...
63
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:11,275
Some of you should have
guessed by now.
64
00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:12,318
...cakes.
65
00:03:12,318 --> 00:03:14,570
{\an8}Which gave me an idea.
66
00:03:14,570 --> 00:03:19,658
{\an8}What if the C in CIA
now stood for "Cakes"
67
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:22,536
{\an8}and not whatever
it used to stand for?
68
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,955
We're going to bake
and sell cakes?
69
00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:29,627
Yes. Great idea, Smith.
We could bake them ourselves.
70
00:03:29,627 --> 00:03:32,087
That would save us
tons of money.
71
00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:36,425
We'll win the public's
trust back yet.
For the CIA.
72
00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:40,220
The Cake IA.
73
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:46,894
Wow. Langleytano
is so beautiful.
74
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:50,522
[Jeff] I've never seen
this part of Langley before.
75
00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:52,316
I didn't even know it existed.
76
00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:55,986
Well, Langley has some of
the most diverse biomes
anywhere in the world.
77
00:03:55,986 --> 00:04:00,282
From our dazzling
crystal-filled caves
and dramatic limestone canyons
78
00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,284
to our vast
and foreboding tundras.
79
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:03,994
Oh, wow.
80
00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:07,081
But what did
what you said mean?
81
00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:22,096
You deserve this, babe.
82
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:26,392
And here is the bellman
with your...
83
00:04:26,392 --> 00:04:29,061
One bag? You two share a bag?
84
00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:32,940
That's all her stuff.
She's the one being spoiled.
85
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,985
I'll be perusing
the lost and found.
86
00:04:36,652 --> 00:04:37,820
What's that?
87
00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:39,697
[manager] There is a legend
of a village boy
88
00:04:39,697 --> 00:04:42,241
that wanted to run faster
than all the other boys.
89
00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:46,036
So he stole the face
of a wolf, thinking it would
help him run like one.
90
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:49,707
But being a wolf
was unnatural for the boy
and made him go mad.
91
00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:53,961
He howled and howled,
before finally throwing
himself off the cliff.
92
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:58,298
They say the Mercurial Winds
of Langleytano are his howls,
93
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:02,511
and if you listen too closely,
they will make you
go mad as well.
94
00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:04,054
- [wind howling]
- [Jeff and Hayley shriek]
95
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:08,017
There they are,
the Mercurial Winds
of Langleytano.
96
00:05:08,017 --> 00:05:09,518
Very mercurial.
97
00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:13,063
Cool story, man.
But I'm ready
for you to leave.
98
00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:14,732
Oh.
99
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:18,902
Okay. Let the pampering begin.
100
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:22,197
We can do anything you want.
101
00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:24,742
You know what I want
inside me right now?
102
00:05:24,742 --> 00:05:28,996
Starts with a D,
ends with an "aiquiri."
103
00:05:32,041 --> 00:05:33,876
[slurps, sighs]
104
00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:36,754
This is way easier than sex.
105
00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:39,673
[Roger] Excuse me.
Can I get a little help?
106
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:42,134
I overbleached
my tush hole at the salon,
107
00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:45,804
and need to tan it back
to the color I was aiming for.
108
00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:48,223
{\an8}If you could move
my thong to the side?
109
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:49,683
{\an8}I didn't say gently.
110
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,436
{\an8}And hold my
cheeks apart. Gently.
111
00:05:52,436 --> 00:05:54,104
{\an8}That's it.
112
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:56,857
{\an8}Now look away.
I don't want anyone to see
my hole this color.
113
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:01,111
Hey, buongiorno, bitches.
114
00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:04,323
I thought you gave us
your room. What are you
doing here, Roger?
115
00:06:04,323 --> 00:06:08,327
Rocherro Ferrero is the name.
Super-rich pudding heiress.
116
00:06:08,327 --> 00:06:11,663
Your room was actually
the room my assistant
was supposed to use.
117
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:13,957
But now she's in
this big old urn.
118
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:17,169
- She died?
- Yep. Worked herself to death.
119
00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:20,506
I'm gonna spread her ashes
on the Sunday
afternoon cruise.
120
00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:23,300
Crazy she died
just days before our trip.
121
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:26,887
This was one of
my favorite places
to make her work nonstop.
122
00:06:27,471 --> 00:06:29,014
Hey, you lazy slugs.
123
00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:31,642
Get us a round
of loaded Bloodies
or everyone here is fired.
124
00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:33,977
You know the way I like them.
Move! Move!
125
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:36,355
[scoffs] You don't have to be
such an asshole.
126
00:06:36,355 --> 00:06:39,191
This is exactly what I have
to deal with at Sub Hub.
127
00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:40,567
Oh, I'm not really a jerk.
128
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,986
I just do it to get
good service and extra stuff.
129
00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:45,405
Most rich people are this way.
They're really good people.
130
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,242
You just have to
get to know them.
And also be rich.
131
00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:51,286
Yeah, but you don't
have to be rude
to get good service.
132
00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:52,996
[laughs] Yes, you do.
133
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:56,750
Rude gets results.
That's why they both
start with R.
134
00:06:58,377 --> 00:06:59,628
Thank you, slugs.
135
00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:01,880
I'd like to see you get
something as crazy cool
136
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,174
as these loaded Bloodies
with kindness.
137
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,093
Okay. Excuse me.
138
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:10,013
Could I get spiked
Orange Juliuses,
139
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:12,224
served in Erlenmeyer flasks,
140
00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:16,353
with tofu meatballs
cascading from them, please?
141
00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:17,604
You're doing great.
142
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:20,149
Yeah, sorry. We don't have
any of that stuff.
143
00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:23,277
Oof. That was
very embarrassing for you.
144
00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:28,282
[sighs] This is how I get
treated at work. See? I knew
this wasn't a good idea.
145
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:31,201
I'm sorry, babe. But...
146
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:33,829
I need to get some sunscreen.
Yes, that's why.
147
00:07:33,829 --> 00:07:36,331
He's cute as a button.
Where'd you find him?
148
00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:37,958
In a ravine.
149
00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:44,381
[sighs] Rudes get results.
150
00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:47,551
- [door slams]
- My wife asked for
three Orange Julias
151
00:07:47,551 --> 00:07:49,136
and she better
fricking get them.
152
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:52,723
What's wrong with you?
Do you have no brain?
Like a baby?
153
00:07:52,723 --> 00:07:55,934
Fix this. I'm super rich.
154
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:58,979
I travel the world
in a big balloon.
155
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,609
[breathing heavily]
156
00:08:03,609 --> 00:08:06,486
Damn. I don't think
I could do that again.
157
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,488
Got it.
158
00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,283
Please enjoy
your strange order,
159
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:14,161
as well as these
complimentary cheese dippers.
160
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:17,456
Wow, I guess kindness
really does work, babe.
161
00:08:17,456 --> 00:08:21,752
And free cheese dippers?
You really had
an effect on them.
162
00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:24,254
- See?
- Something's weird here.
163
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:28,383
Nothing's weird.
People respond
to positive reinforcements.
164
00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:30,761
I'll tell you what.
Tomorrow, let's you and I
165
00:08:30,761 --> 00:08:33,096
use all the resort's
facilities together
166
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:35,766
- and we'll see
who gets better service.
- In.
167
00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:38,644
I thought we were just
gonna relax tomorrow.
168
00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:42,481
You saw how well me
being nice worked getting
those drinks, didn't you?
169
00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:46,360
I think this might be
just what I need to restore
my faith in humanity.
170
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,779
But what if Roger's right?
171
00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:51,490
What if being mean
does work better?
172
00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:54,284
Then I don't know.
Maybe I'll just kill myself.
173
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,994
[laughs hysterically]
174
00:08:58,372 --> 00:08:59,539
Are we waiting for Jeff?
175
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,458
He said he's gonna be
in the gift shop all day.
176
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:05,212
Weird time to start
a magnet collection,
but it's his vacation too.
177
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:08,340
I'm gonna show you
what it's like to be
truly pampered.
178
00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:10,592
But you got to let the staff
know who's boss.
179
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:12,844
- It's all part of the game.
- Wrong.
180
00:09:12,844 --> 00:09:15,597
I'm gonna show you
how I can get everything
you can get,
181
00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:17,933
and more, just by being nice.
182
00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:21,061
[chuckles] You don't get
the game, Hayley.
183
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,063
You don't get the game.
184
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:25,274
This is empty.
185
00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:28,944
Let's roll.
186
00:09:30,279 --> 00:09:32,197
[♪ mysterious music playing]
187
00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:35,117
Hey, turds. We wanna get
in the hot tub,
188
00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:39,121
but instead of water,
we want it to be
green tea. Now.
189
00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:44,584
Could we actually get
our massages here
in the hot tub
190
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,462
from masseuses
in scuba gear, please?
191
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:48,547
No.
192
00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:51,091
[inaudible]
193
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:02,144
Hey. We want to eat
a big meal right here.
194
00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:06,398
All hot and fresh
made by local grandmas.
Move, slugs.
195
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:11,278
Excuse me.
This meal is so good.
196
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:13,030
But I was wondering,
pretty please,
197
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:15,490
could we eat this on a cliff
overlooking the ocean?
198
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:18,493
I'm sorry. That's not
something we're able to do.
199
00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:24,041
Well done.
200
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,006
[sobbing]
201
00:10:31,006 --> 00:10:33,300
And now it's time
for Grill Session,
202
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:36,345
where I grill
a local businessperson
who totally deserves it.
203
00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:40,098
With me tonight
is deputy director
of the CIA, Avery Bullock.
204
00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:42,517
Oh, the pleasure
is mine, Greg.
205
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:47,064
Sir, under your watch,
the CIA has blown up
three foreign embassies,
206
00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:50,150
two post offices,
and the only Cinnabon
in Antarctica.
207
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,486
People are angry.
What do you have
to say for yourself?
208
00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:56,073
Well, we've got great news
for all the haters.
209
00:10:56,073 --> 00:11:00,202
The C in CIA
now stands for Cakes.
210
00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:02,662
Oh, I love cakes.
Are you selling cakes?
What kind?
211
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,957
Would you mind
if I answered that
in the form of a song?
212
00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:07,501
I would not.
213
00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:10,170
♪ Big cakes, small cakes
Orange cakes too ♪
214
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:13,048
♪ Call us today
There's a cake for you ♪
215
00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:16,009
♪ Cakes for you
and cakes for me ♪
216
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,678
♪ Cakes for two
and cakes for three ♪
217
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:22,432
Yay, that was so fun.
Okay, everyone
go buy the CIA's cakes.
218
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,811
Have we cut?
219
00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:28,563
How dare you upstage me
with that velvety voice?
220
00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:30,649
I'm the singer. I'm the star.
221
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:36,905
Today was impressive, Hayley.
That cliffside lunch?
222
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:41,451
You've got me thinking
maybe there is a place
for kindness in this world.
223
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,161
Are you ready to order?
224
00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:46,081
I'll have the adult
p'sghetti meatball.
225
00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:48,750
No. Everybody's got to get
the branzino.
226
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,419
Mainly because
I love saying it.
227
00:11:50,419 --> 00:11:53,213
-"Branzino."
- That's what I was thinking.
228
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,841
I'm sorry. We only have
one branzino left.
229
00:11:55,841 --> 00:12:00,887
I'm sorry too, but if I don't
get a plate with branzino
on it... Branzino.
230
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:05,475
...I will burn this place
and all of its occupants
to the ground.
231
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:08,645
I'm so sorry about her.
You're such a good waiter.
232
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:11,273
Just bring her a big old
bowl of soup or something
233
00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:13,191
and bring me the branzino.
234
00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:16,570
You're doing really great.
And I like your teeth.
235
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:20,365
I guess we'll finally
see for sure whose style
reigns supreme.
236
00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:23,493
Oh, shoot. I forgot
the sunscreen again.
237
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,122
Doesn't seem
too bright in here.
238
00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:29,499
I guess he is sitting closest
to the candle.
239
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:34,045
Stiles, gun it.
240
00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:39,468
Yes, that's it, boys.
The rebrand
is a smashing success.
241
00:12:39,468 --> 00:12:42,846
We can drop
a 10-tiered chiffon cake
into a warzone
242
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:44,598
from two continents away.
243
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:48,602
I think we can get
a race car cake to
Chesterfield Park by Friday.
244
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:50,854
That's another.
245
00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:53,398
Stop everything. I got
the big one on the phone.
246
00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:56,693
- The TV show Ace of Cakes?
- Yeah.
247
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,069
They want us
to be on an episode
248
00:12:58,069 --> 00:13:01,740
where the challenge
is cooking 200 cakes to theme.
249
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:03,158
Uh, one question.
250
00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:05,827
How are we gonna put sprinkles
on 200 cakes at once?
251
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:09,080
Somebody order
a Sprinkle Blaster?
252
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:10,540
[shrieks]
253
00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:14,836
- Tell them we're in.
- [all] Yeah.
254
00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:19,716
And can someone please
take the Sprinkle Blaster
from Dr. Weitzman?
255
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:22,135
Someone who knows
how to use it.
256
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:28,683
- Where's your sunscreen?
- Oh, I put it on
in the hallway.
257
00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:31,937
And then ate the bottle.
258
00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:34,231
How does this guy
not die all the time?
259
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:37,192
Adult p'sghetti meatball
for the gentleman.
260
00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:39,736
And now the moment of truth.
261
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:42,489
A big old bowl of soup
for you.
262
00:13:43,532 --> 00:13:45,367
And the branzino.
263
00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:50,622
Maybe kindness
does have its perks.
264
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:52,916
Even if this branzino's
a little dry.
265
00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:55,043
This is not the way
human nature works.
266
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:58,713
Something very fishy
is going on here,
and it's not the branzino.
267
00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:00,757
Which is a very mild fish.
268
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,133
[yelling]
269
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:03,843
I forgot my assistant.
270
00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:06,721
[yelling]
271
00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:10,016
I'm questioning everything.
Does kindness really work?
272
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,893
No.
273
00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:15,146
Dead end?
Where the hell am I? No.
274
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:16,773
[Jeff] Look at me
when I'm talking to you.
275
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:18,066
You're the worst waiter ever.
276
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:19,276
That's Jeff.
277
00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:22,279
My wife says
your branzino's a little dry.
278
00:14:22,279 --> 00:14:25,740
A little dry?
That wasn't part of the deal.
279
00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:29,911
I knew it wasn't kindness.
Oh, they're going down.
280
00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:30,954
[wind howling]
281
00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:34,165
Damn. That's a crazy,
angry wind.
282
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:40,005
Well, I guess that
branzino incident last night
283
00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:42,173
settled everything
pretty definitively.
284
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:44,843
The only thing left to do
is dump out my assistant.
285
00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:49,598
Told you kindness works.
Not gonna lie.
Feels pretty good.
286
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,267
Which got me thinking,
287
00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:55,520
since it worked so well,
surely you could do it
one more time.
288
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,648
- You know,
to really rub my nose in it.
- What do you have in mind?
289
00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:02,402
Get the captain to take us
to that island there.
290
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:04,738
I could get us there
by being a big jerk,
no problem.
291
00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:07,532
Done it a bunch of times.
Think you could do it
with kindness?
292
00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:12,203
I think I'd benefit
from enjoying the ride
they have planned.
293
00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:14,706
Don't worry, Jeff.
I got this. Oh, Captain.
294
00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:16,708
Let me guess.
You want to touch the wheel?
295
00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:20,712
Actually, I was wondering,
since you're such an
amazing captain...
296
00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:23,465
- Me?
- ...could you take us
to that island?
297
00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:26,801
To What If The Winds
Kick Up Island?
298
00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:30,180
I'd love to.
But what if the winds kick up?
299
00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:32,974
No way, little lady.
300
00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:34,684
Well, just think about it.
301
00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:39,022
Oh, my gosh.
I can't believe it,
but I just realized I forgot--
302
00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:41,775
Your sunscreen again?
I got you.
303
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:45,070
Hmm. Doesn't seem
like the boat's going
toward the island.
304
00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:47,530
Maybe the power of kindness
has run out.
305
00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:50,659
Oh, shoot.
I gotta whiz really bad.
306
00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:55,330
The bathrooms are actually
the other way.
307
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:57,248
But you don't
have to whiz at all, do you?
308
00:15:57,248 --> 00:15:59,709
You went in the pool
before we left, didn't you?
309
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:01,795
I know everything
you've been up to.
310
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:04,422
You're being a jerk
to help Hayley.
311
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,759
Oh, no! I've been pushed.
312
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:12,931
Captain, you take this boat
to that island now
or I'll have you fired.
313
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:14,015
[coughs]
314
00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:17,018
I'm rich.
I own a thousand monocles.
315
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:21,314
Your rich tactics
don't work on me.
I only answer to the sea.
316
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,233
- [thunderclap]
- And the sea is telling me
317
00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:25,610
it's time to get back
to the harbor.
318
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:29,197
Go back?
But I have to spread
my assistant's ashes.
319
00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:30,490
- [thunder rumbling]
- [wind howling]
320
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:33,451
I'm very rich
and powerful, I tell you.
321
00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:37,288
I have many Sea-Doos,
and a chocolate river,
322
00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:40,500
and three ghosts
that visit me at Christmas.
323
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,252
I have all those things too.
324
00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:43,628
Jeff, what are you doing?
325
00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:47,507
I'm yelling at the Captain
to go to the island,
326
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,676
so your kindness can win.
327
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,386
Wait. What?
328
00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:54,848
It's been Jeff the whole time.
That's why you got
the branzino.
329
00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:59,811
I've been yelling at everyone
and it's been
eating me up inside.
330
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:01,312
I'm sorry, babe.
331
00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:04,691
Kindness doesn't get you shit.
332
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,403
This time,
I'm not asking nicely.
333
00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:10,447
You're taking us
to that island.
334
00:17:10,447 --> 00:17:12,782
I'm taking us back.
335
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:15,201
[growling]
336
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:17,912
The customer is always right.
337
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:19,664
You smell like mayonnaise.
338
00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:22,459
We don't even sell
eggs Benedict!
339
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:24,002
She works at Sub Hub.
340
00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:28,131
And no. You can't get
the key to the
[bleep] bathroom!
341
00:17:28,131 --> 00:17:30,800
[howling]
342
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:34,679
Give her room.
She's got the wind madness.
343
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,893
And the winner of
the 200-cake challenge is...
344
00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:43,980
[drumroll playing]
345
00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:45,732
...the Cakes IA.
346
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,275
- [♪ triumphant music playing]
- [all cheering]
347
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:48,568
Yeah.
348
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,821
Agents, I have bad news.
349
00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:55,116
The Obamas canceled
their 40-person pineapple
upside-down cake?
350
00:17:55,116 --> 00:18:00,371
Worse. Terrorists snuck into
the Capitol and stole
all of Congress' cocaine.
351
00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:03,249
They're rightly pissed
and want them caught.
352
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:06,503
So, we got our funding back.
353
00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:09,255
But what about the cakes?
354
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:12,091
[sadly] Back to
strictly spy stuff.
355
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,928
- No!
- No!
356
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:17,096
[all shouting]
357
00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:21,226
Whoa, whoa.
This is sensitive equipment.
358
00:18:21,226 --> 00:18:23,144
Who knows
what frosting will do?
359
00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:25,772
- No!
- No!
360
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:28,525
[♪ dramatic music playing]
361
00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:33,363
These are the Mercurial Winds
of Langleytano.
362
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:35,448
I'm sorry.
363
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:39,452
We're going directly into
a storm to die because a
sub sandwich lady wants us to?
364
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,538
This isn't how the system
is meant to work.
365
00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:46,084
If somebody's gonna
put everyone's life
at risk for no good reason,
366
00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:48,086
it should be a rich person.
367
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:49,254
[all] Hear, hear.
368
00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:51,256
[all howling]
369
00:18:54,926 --> 00:18:57,262
Now they've got
the wind madness.
370
00:18:57,262 --> 00:19:01,140
Everyone but me.
Why? Why, God?
371
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,809
It's all I ever wanted.
372
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,936
I know you're upset about
the whole it turning out
373
00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:07,146
kindness can't
get you crap deal,
374
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,440
but why are you still
trying to get to the island?
375
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:13,278
Because I wanna get
what I want.
Just one time.
376
00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:15,363
Even if it screws everybody.
377
00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:17,365
Very cool answer.
378
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:18,825
[pounding on door]
379
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:21,828
- They're gonna
break the door down.
- Let them.
380
00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:25,540
[howling]
381
00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:28,793
- [all screaming]
- Whoa!
382
00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:32,547
What am I doing?
383
00:19:32,547 --> 00:19:34,382
[pounding on door]
384
00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:35,717
This way.
385
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:45,184
Well, I guess this is it.
Better release the ashes now.
386
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,644
Marbles?
387
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:49,814
And a photo of my assistant
flipping me off?
388
00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:53,067
She's not dead?
Well, she's definitely fired.
389
00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:55,528
And I still need closure.
390
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,822
[♪ dramatic music playing]
391
00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:02,493
[groaning]
392
00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:04,662
It's a marble storm!
393
00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:10,960
[grunting]
394
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:14,756
[marbles clattering]
395
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:19,510
Those are some pretty
crazy winds.
396
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:22,597
[slowly] Very mercurial.
397
00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:25,475
I know it's weird,
398
00:20:25,475 --> 00:20:30,146
but I feel more relaxed
than I have in a long time.
399
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:32,857
Like I got something
out of my system.
400
00:20:32,857 --> 00:20:37,695
{\an8}This weekend was
just what I needed.
Thanks, guys.
401
00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:42,742
{\an8}I'm ready for this vacation
to be over so I can relax.
402
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,995
{\an8}And now,
the only other issue...
403
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:48,873
{\an8}I just worry they're not gonna
believe us about the marbles.
404
00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:52,085
{\an8}It's not the best alibi.
In fact, it's not
an alibi at all.
405
00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:54,170
{\an8}It's really just
the murder weapon.