1
00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:03,044
[♪ mysterious music playing]
2
00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:06,797
- And everyone was killed?
- All but three.
3
00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:09,551
And their alibi is very, very dumb.
4
00:00:11,302 --> 00:00:14,139
- They're in love.
- Hey. Don't do that.
5
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,685
I don't think that guy
even works here.
6
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,854
Ugh. It happens all the time.
7
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:25,983
Weirdos show up and try to make corpses
touch and kiss and stuff.
8
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:27,986
[chuckles softly] I get it.
9
00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:30,572
[wind howling]
10
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:34,075
[man] That's not enough mustard.
11
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,618
- Give me the bathroom key.
- More olives.
12
00:00:36,619 --> 00:00:38,203
You smell like mayonnaise.
13
00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:40,039
- You suck.
- Give me the bathroom key.
14
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,751
- Make me a new one.
- You don't have eggs Benedict?
15
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:43,876
You're nothing.
16
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,545
- You're nothing.
- You're nothing.
17
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,505
- [sighs]
- [sauce bottle squirting]
18
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,592
[♪ theme song playing]
19
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:54,344
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
20
00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:57,514
♪ I got a feeling
That it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
21
00:00:57,515 --> 00:01:00,684
♪ The sun in the sky
Has a smile on his face ♪
22
00:01:00,685 --> 00:01:04,439
♪ And he's shining a salute
To the American race ♪
23
00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:10,402
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
24
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,821
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
25
00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:13,907
[Roger] Ah!
26
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:18,161
{\an8}[chorus]
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
27
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:23,457
{\an8}Phew.
28
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:26,794
{\an8}- Another rough one at Sub Hub.
- Pretty rough one here too.
29
00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:29,421
{\an8}Emily's dad's sick.
She might have to leave Paris.
30
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:33,759
{\an8}God, I wish I was rich so you wouldn't
have to work for the both of us.
31
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,470
{\an8}I would spoil you.
32
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:39,599
{\an8}Ah, nothing
a little shower cry can't fix.
33
00:01:39,724 --> 00:01:44,019
{\an8}You know, one of my personas has a suite
at the amazing Brown Lotus resort
34
00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:46,480
{\an8}up in Langleytano
that she's not gonna use.
35
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:49,274
{\an8}It's non-refundable. You guys
could use it for a little staycay.
36
00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:52,486
{\an8}- All expenses paid.
- All expenses paid?
37
00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:56,490
{\an8}- We can pretend I paid for it.
- Maybe I could use a good spoiling.
38
00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:57,574
{\an8}[both] Yes!
39
00:01:57,575 --> 00:02:01,495
{\an8}- Let's go to the fancy hotel.
- [both] Yes, yes, yes!
40
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:04,749
{\an8}I know this is your guys' thing,
but I can still be excited.
41
00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:08,335
{\an8}Bad news.
42
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:12,589
{\an8}The Antarctica snafu isn't flying
under the radar like we'd hoped.
43
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:17,302
{\an8}In fact, it's very much on Congress'
radar and they have cut our funding.
44
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:18,387
{\an8}[all gasp]
45
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:21,140
{\an8}We've lost our jets, foreign agents,
46
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:24,268
{\an8}and if we're not careful, omelette bar.
47
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:25,353
[gasps]
48
00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:29,231
♪ Someone's in the kitchen
with Dinah ♪
49
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,400
♪ Someone's in the kitchen,
I know ♪
50
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,569
♪ Someone's in the kitchen
with Dinah ♪
51
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,363
♪ Strumming on the old banjo ♪
52
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:39,491
{\an8}Can't lose him. He's the only omelette
chef we've had who could do that.
53
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,660
{\an8}He's a generational talent.
54
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:45,414
{\an8}But these are desperate times,
and that calls for desperate measures.
55
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:49,209
That's why we're going
to do a rebrand.
56
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:53,298
The CIA is currently
the least favorable thing in the city.
57
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,966
We're even below all this stuff.
58
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:58,468
We're even below that guy
that walks around town
59
00:02:58,469 --> 00:02:59,553
throwing eggs at people?
60
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:03,599
- Oh, man. I hate that guy.
- Yeah, this is bad.
61
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,058
We're even below him.
62
00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:08,854
But we've found the most beloved thing
in the city is...
63
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,106
Some of you should have
guessed by now.
64
00:03:11,107 --> 00:03:12,191
...cakes.
65
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,484
{\an8}Which gave me an idea.
66
00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:19,573
{\an8}What if the C in CIA
now stood for "Cakes"
67
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:22,451
{\an8}and not whatever
it used to stand for?
68
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,953
We're going to bake
and sell cakes?
69
00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:29,541
Yes. Great idea, Smith.
We could bake them ourselves.
70
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,753
That would save us tons of money.
71
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:36,298
We'll win the public's trust back yet.
For the CIA.
72
00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:40,011
The Cake IA.
73
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:48,936
Wow. Langleytano is so beautiful.
74
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:52,481
[Jeff] I've never seen
this part of Langley before.
75
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,274
I didn't even know it existed.
76
00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:58,028
Well, Langley has some of the most
diverse biomes anywhere in the world.
77
00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:02,157
From our dazzling crystal-filled caves
and dramatic limestone canyons
78
00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:04,159
to our vast
and foreboding tundras.
79
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,411
Oh, wow.
80
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,873
But what did what you said mean?
81
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:23,930
You deserve this, babe.
82
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,767
And here is the bellman with your...
83
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:31,144
One bag? You two share a bag?
84
00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:34,982
That's all her stuff.
She's the one being spoiled.
85
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:37,777
I'll be perusing the lost and found.
86
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:39,736
What's that?
87
00:04:39,737 --> 00:04:41,697
[manager] There is a legend
of a village boy
88
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:44,366
that wanted to run faster
than all the other boys.
89
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:48,078
So he stole the face of a wolf,
thinking it would help him run like one.
90
00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:51,915
But being a wolf was unnatural
for the boy and made him go mad.
91
00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:55,962
He howled and howled, before
finally throwing himself off the cliff.
92
00:04:56,087 --> 00:05:00,424
They say the Mercurial Winds
of Langleytano are his howls,
93
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:04,428
and if you listen too closely,
they will make you go mad as well.
94
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,138
- [wind howling]
- [Jeff and Hayley shriek]
95
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,808
There they are,
the Mercurial Winds of Langleytano.
96
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,435
Very mercurial.
97
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:14,856
Cool story, man.
But I'm ready for you to leave.
98
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,441
Oh.
99
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:20,862
Okay. Let the pampering begin.
100
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:24,281
We can do anything you want.
101
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:26,700
You know what I want
inside me right now?
102
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:30,788
Starts with a D,
ends with an "aiquiri."
103
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,876
[slurps, sighs]
104
00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:38,671
This is way easier than sex.
105
00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:41,132
[Roger] Excuse me.
Can I get a little help?
106
00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:44,217
I overbleached
my tush hole at the salon,
107
00:05:44,218 --> 00:05:47,388
and need to tan it back
to the color I was aiming for.
108
00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:50,057
If you could move
my thong to the side?
109
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,641
I didn't say gently.
110
00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:54,187
And hold my
cheeks apart. Gently.
111
00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:55,437
That's it.
112
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:58,608
Now look away. I don't want
anyone to see my hole this color.
113
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:02,487
Hey, buongiorno, bitches.
114
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:06,448
I thought you gave us your room.
What are you doing here, Roger?
115
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:10,452
Rocherro Ferrero is the name.
Super-rich pudding heiress.
116
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:13,622
Your room was actually the room
my assistant was supposed to use.
117
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,957
But now she's in this big old urn.
118
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:18,878
- She died?
- Yep. Worked herself to death.
119
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:22,422
I'm gonna spread her ashes
on the Sunday afternoon cruise.
120
00:06:22,423 --> 00:06:25,425
Crazy she died
just days before our trip.
121
00:06:25,426 --> 00:06:28,638
This was one of my favorite places
to make her work nonstop.
122
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:30,680
Hey, you lazy slugs.
123
00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:33,558
Get us a round of loaded Bloodies
or everyone here is fired.
124
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:35,770
You know the way I like them.
Move! Move!
125
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:38,480
[scoffs] You don't have to be
such an asshole.
126
00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:41,024
This is exactly what I have
to deal with at Sub Hub.
127
00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:42,359
Oh, I'm not really a jerk.
128
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,028
I just do it to get
good service and extra stuff.
129
00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:47,531
Most rich people are this way.
They're really good people.
130
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:50,325
You just have to get to know them.
And also be rich.
131
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:53,120
Yeah, but you don't
have to be rude to get good service.
132
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:54,996
[laughs] Yes, you do.
133
00:06:54,997 --> 00:06:58,459
Rude gets results.
That's why they both start with R.
134
00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:01,461
Thank you, slugs.
135
00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:03,880
I'd like to see you get
something as crazy cool
136
00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:05,966
as these loaded Bloodies
with kindness.
137
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:08,135
Okay. Excuse me.
138
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:12,013
Could I get spiked Orange Juliuses,
139
00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:14,307
served in Erlenmeyer flasks,
140
00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:17,895
with tofu meatballs
cascading from them, please?
141
00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:19,354
You're doing great.
142
00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:22,066
Yeah, sorry.
We don't have any of that stuff.
143
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:25,360
Oof. That was
very embarrassing for you.
144
00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:28,029
[sighs] This is how
I get treated at work.
145
00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:30,115
See? I knew this wasn't a good idea.
146
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:33,285
I'm sorry, babe. But...
147
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,787
I need to get some sunscreen.
Yes, that's why.
148
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:38,166
He's cute as a button.
Where'd you find him?
149
00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:39,667
In a ravine.
150
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:46,174
[sighs] Rudes get results.
151
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:49,426
- [door slams]
- My wife asked for three Orange Julias
152
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:50,802
and she better fricking get them.
153
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:54,639
What's wrong with you?
Do you have no brain? Like a baby?
154
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,934
Fix this. I'm super rich.
155
00:07:57,935 --> 00:08:00,688
I travel the world in a big balloon.
156
00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:05,358
[breathing heavily]
157
00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:08,362
Damn. I don't think
I could do that again.
158
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,323
Got it.
159
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,366
Please enjoy your strange order,
160
00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:16,203
as well as these
complimentary cheese dippers.
161
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:19,581
Wow, I guess kindness
really does work, babe.
162
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:23,668
And free cheese dippers?
You really had an effect on them.
163
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:26,296
- See?
- Something's weird here.
164
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:30,467
Nothing's weird. People respond
to positive reinforcements.
165
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,719
I'll tell you what.
Tomorrow, let's you and I
166
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,138
use all the resort's
facilities together
167
00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:37,724
- and we'll see who gets better service.
- In.
168
00:08:37,725 --> 00:08:40,810
I thought we were just
gonna relax tomorrow.
169
00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:44,606
You saw how well me being nice worked
getting those drinks, didn't you?
170
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:48,193
I think this might be just what I need
to restore my faith in humanity.
171
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,695
But what if Roger's right?
172
00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:53,615
What if being mean
does work better?
173
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:56,076
Then I don't know.
Maybe I'll just kill myself.
174
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,703
[laughs hysterically]
175
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,542
Are we waiting for Jeff?
176
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,627
He said he's gonna be
in the gift shop all day.
177
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:09,297
Weird time to start a magnet collection,
but it's his vacation too.
178
00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:12,467
I'm gonna show you
what it's like to be truly pampered.
179
00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:14,511
But you got to let the staff
know who's boss.
180
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,846
- It's all part of the game.
- Wrong.
181
00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:19,516
I'm gonna show you how I can
get everything you can get,
182
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,935
and more, just by being nice.
183
00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:25,105
{\an8}[chuckles] You don't get
the game, Hayley.
184
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,857
{\an8}You don't get the game.
185
00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:29,110
{\an8}This is empty.
186
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,697
Let's roll.
187
00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:36,033
[♪ mysterious music playing]
188
00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:39,202
Hey, turds. We wanna get
in the hot tub,
189
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:42,915
but instead of water,
we want it to be green tea. Now.
190
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:48,503
Could we actually get
our massages here in the hot tub
191
00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:51,381
from masseuses
in scuba gear, please?
192
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:52,466
No.
193
00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:54,885
[inaudible]
194
00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:06,187
Hey. We want to eat
a big meal right here.
195
00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:10,276
All hot and fresh made
by local grandmas. Move, slugs.
196
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:15,363
Excuse me.
This meal is so good.
197
00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:17,073
But I was wondering, pretty please,
198
00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:19,618
could we eat this on a cliff
overlooking the ocean?
199
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:22,371
I'm sorry. That's not
something we're able to do.
200
00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:27,793
Well done.
201
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,508
[sobbing]
202
00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:37,385
And now it's time for Grill Session,
203
00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:40,472
where I grill a local businessperson
who totally deserves it.
204
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:44,142
With me tonight is deputy director
of the CIA, Avery Bullock.
205
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:46,604
Oh, the pleasure is mine, Greg.
206
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:51,107
Sir, under your watch, the CIA has
blown up three foreign embassies,
207
00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:54,194
two post offices,
and the only Cinnabon in Antarctica.
208
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,613
People are angry.
What do you have to say for yourself?
209
00:10:56,614 --> 00:11:00,116
Well, we've got great news
for all the haters.
210
00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:04,245
The C in CIA
now stands for Cakes.
211
00:11:04,246 --> 00:11:06,831
Oh, I love cakes.
Are you selling cakes? What kind?
212
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:09,959
Would you mind if I answered that
in the form of a song?
213
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,044
I would not.
214
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:14,214
♪ Big cakes, small cakes
Orange cakes too ♪
215
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:17,050
♪ Call us today
There's a cake for you ♪
216
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:20,011
♪ Cakes for you
and cakes for me ♪
217
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:22,847
♪ Cakes for two
and cakes for three ♪
218
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:26,268
Yay, that was so fun.
Okay, everyone go buy the CIA's cakes.
219
00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:28,979
Have we cut?
220
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:32,440
How dare you upstage me
with that velvety voice?
221
00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:34,568
I'm the singer. I'm the star.
222
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:41,157
Today was impressive, Hayley.
That cliffside lunch?
223
00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:45,287
You've got me thinking maybe there is
a place for kindness in this world.
224
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:47,205
Are you ready to order?
225
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:50,083
I'll have the adult p'sghetti meatball.
226
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:52,669
No. Everybody's got to get
the branzino.
227
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:54,504
Mainly because I love saying it.
228
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:57,257
- "Branzino."
- That's what I was thinking.
229
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:59,969
I'm sorry. We only have
one branzino left.
230
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:05,098
I'm sorry too, but if I don't get
a plate with branzino on it... Branzino.
231
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:08,436
...I will burn this place
and all of its occupants to the ground.
232
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:12,814
I'm so sorry about her.
You're such a good waiter.
233
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:15,316
Just bring her a big old
bowl of soup or something
234
00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:17,235
and bring me the branzino.
235
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:20,281
You're doing really great.
And I like your teeth.
236
00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:24,451
I guess we'll finally see for sure
whose style reigns supreme.
237
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:27,329
Oh, shoot. I forgot
the sunscreen again.
238
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,166
Doesn't seem too bright in here.
239
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,335
I guess he is sitting closest
to the candle.
240
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:37,757
Stiles, gun it.
241
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:43,595
Yes, that's it, boys.
The rebrand is a smashing success.
242
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,806
We can drop a 10-tiered chiffon cake
into a warzone
243
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:48,558
from two continents away.
244
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:52,480
I think we can get a race car cake to
Chesterfield Park by Friday.
245
00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:54,689
That's another.
246
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:57,484
Stop everything. I got
the big one on the phone.
247
00:12:57,485 --> 00:13:00,612
- The TV show Ace of Cakes?
- Yeah.
248
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,071
They want us
to be on an episode
249
00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:05,658
where the challenge
is cooking 200 cakes to theme.
250
00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:07,035
Uh, one question.
251
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,746
How are we gonna put sprinkles
on 200 cakes at once?
252
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:12,833
Somebody order a Sprinkle Blaster?
253
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:14,376
[shrieks]
254
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,047
- Tell them we're in.
- [all] Yeah.
255
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:23,635
And can someone please take
the Sprinkle Blaster from Dr. Weitzman?
256
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,888
Someone who knows
how to use it.
257
00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:32,560
- Where's your sunscreen?
- Oh, I put it on in the hallway.
258
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:35,897
And then ate the bottle.
259
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:38,274
How does this guy
not die all the time?
260
00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:41,194
Adult p'sghetti meatball
for the gentleman.
261
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:43,655
And now the moment of truth.
262
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,325
A big old bowl of soup for you.
263
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:49,161
And the branzino.
264
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:54,749
Maybe kindness
does have its perks.
265
00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:56,876
Even if this branzino's a little dry.
266
00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:59,295
This is not the way
human nature works.
267
00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:02,590
Something very fishy is going on here,
and it's not the branzino.
268
00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:04,676
Which is a very mild fish.
269
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:05,886
[yelling]
270
00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:07,763
I forgot my assistant.
271
00:14:08,138 --> 00:14:10,266
[yelling]
272
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:13,977
I'm questioning everything.
Does kindness really work?
273
00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:15,062
No.
274
00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:19,148
Dead end?
Where the hell am I? No.
275
00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:20,692
[Jeff] Look at me
when I'm talking to you.
276
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,068
You're the worst waiter ever.
277
00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:23,152
That's Jeff.
278
00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:26,322
My wife says
your branzino's a little dry.
279
00:14:26,323 --> 00:14:29,285
A little dry?
That wasn't part of the deal.
280
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:33,830
I knew it wasn't kindness.
Oh, they're going down.
281
00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:34,914
[wind howling]
282
00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:37,877
Damn. That's a crazy, angry wind.
283
00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:45,884
Well, I guess that
branzino incident last night
284
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,052
settled everything pretty definitively.
285
00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:50,889
The only thing left to do
is dump out my assistant.
286
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:55,352
Told you kindness works.
Not gonna lie. Feels pretty good.
287
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,104
Which got me thinking,
288
00:14:58,105 --> 00:15:01,524
since it worked so well,
surely you could do it one more time.
289
00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:04,652
- You know, to really rub my nose in it.
- What do you have in mind?
290
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:08,364
Get the captain to take us
to that island there.
291
00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:10,783
I could get us there
by being a big jerk, no problem.
292
00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:13,494
Done it a bunch of times.
Think you could do it with kindness?
293
00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:18,124
I think I'd benefit from enjoying
the ride they have planned.
294
00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,752
Don't worry, Jeff.
I got this. Oh, Captain.
295
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,754
Let me guess.
You want to touch the wheel?
296
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:26,758
Actually, I was wondering,
since you're such an amazing captain...
297
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,427
- Me?
- ...could you take us to that island?
298
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:32,847
To What If The Winds Kick Up Island?
299
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:36,059
I'd love to.
But what if the winds kick up?
300
00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:38,187
No way, little lady.
301
00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:40,521
Well, just think about it.
302
00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:44,859
Oh, my gosh. I can't believe it,
but I just realized I forgot--
303
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:46,987
Your sunscreen again?
I got you.
304
00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:50,949
Hmm. Doesn't seem
like the boat's going toward the island.
305
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,243
Maybe the power of kindness
has run out.
306
00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:56,413
Oh, shoot.
I gotta whiz really bad.
307
00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:01,250
The bathrooms are actually
the other way.
308
00:16:01,251 --> 00:16:03,127
But you don't
have to whiz at all, do you?
309
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:05,713
You went in the pool
before we left, didn't you?
310
00:16:05,714 --> 00:16:07,840
I know everything you've been up to.
311
00:16:07,841 --> 00:16:10,094
You're being a jerk to help Hayley.
312
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:13,305
Oh, no! I've been pushed.
313
00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:18,519
Captain, you take this boat to
that island now or I'll have you fired.
314
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:19,811
[coughs]
315
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:23,106
I'm rich.
I own a thousand monocles.
316
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:27,235
Your rich tactics don't work on me.
I only answer to the sea.
317
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:29,112
- [thunderclap]
- And the sea is telling me
318
00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:31,572
it's time to get back
to the harbor.
319
00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:35,076
Go back? But I have to spread
my assistant's ashes.
320
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:36,452
- [thunder rumbling]
- [wind howling]
321
00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:39,372
I'm very rich
and powerful, I tell you.
322
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:43,167
I have many Sea-Doos,
and a chocolate river,
323
00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:46,462
and three ghosts
that visit me at Christmas.
324
00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:47,881
I have all those things too.
325
00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:49,590
Jeff, what are you doing?
326
00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:53,137
I'm yelling at the Captain
to go to the island,
327
00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:55,430
so your kindness can win.
328
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:56,514
Wait. What?
329
00:16:56,515 --> 00:17:00,893
It's been Jeff the whole time.
That's why you got the branzino.
330
00:17:00,894 --> 00:17:05,606
I've been yelling at everyone
and it's been eating me up inside.
331
00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:07,233
I'm sorry, babe.
332
00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:10,404
Kindness doesn't get you shit.
333
00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:14,323
This time, I'm not asking nicely.
334
00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:16,367
You're taking us to that island.
335
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:18,370
I'm taking us back.
336
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:20,873
[growling]
337
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:23,708
The customer is always right.
338
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,626
You smell like mayonnaise.
339
00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:28,379
We don't even sell eggs Benedict!
340
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:29,964
She works at Sub Hub.
341
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:33,968
And no. You can't get
the key to the [bleep] bathroom!
342
00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:36,764
[howling]
343
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:40,392
Give her room.
She's got the wind madness.
344
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:45,647
And the winner of
the 200-cake challenge is...
345
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:49,776
[drumroll playing]
346
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,695
...the Cakes IA.
347
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:53,154
- [♪ triumphant music playing]
- [all cheering]
348
00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:54,239
Yeah.
349
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,825
Agents, I have bad news.
350
00:17:57,826 --> 00:18:01,204
The Obamas canceled their 40-person
pineapple upside-down cake?
351
00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:06,250
Worse. Terrorists snuck into the Capitol
and stole all of Congress' cocaine.
352
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:09,128
They're rightly pissed
and want them caught.
353
00:18:09,129 --> 00:18:12,423
So, we got our funding back.
354
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:14,343
But what about the cakes?
355
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,929
[sadly] Back to strictly spy stuff.
356
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,723
- No!
- No!
357
00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:22,893
[all shouting]
358
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:27,063
Whoa, whoa.
This is sensitive equipment.
359
00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:28,981
Who knows what frosting will do?
360
00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:31,776
- No!
- No!
361
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:34,445
[♪ dramatic music playing]
362
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:39,159
These are the Mercurial Winds
of Langleytano.
363
00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:40,369
I'm sorry.
364
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:45,373
We're going directly into a storm to die
because a sub sandwich lady wants us to?
365
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,708
This isn't how the system
is meant to work.
366
00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:51,879
If somebody's gonna put everyone's life
at risk for no good reason,
367
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,881
it should be a rich person.
368
00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:55,091
[all] Hear, hear.
369
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,094
[all howling]
370
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:03,099
Now they've got
the wind madness.
371
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:06,978
Everyone but me.
Why? Why, God?
372
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,813
It's all I ever wanted.
373
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,940
I know you're upset about
the whole it turning out
374
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,234
kindness can't
get you crap deal,
375
00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:15,361
but why are you still
trying to get to the island?
376
00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:19,115
Because I wanna get
what I want. Just one time.
377
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:21,242
Even if it screws everybody.
378
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:23,244
Very cool answer.
379
00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:24,829
[pounding on door]
380
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:27,541
- They're gonna break the door down.
- Let them.
381
00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:31,211
[howling]
382
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:34,506
- [all screaming]
- Whoa!
383
00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:38,343
What am I doing?
384
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:40,220
[pounding on door]
385
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:41,430
This way.
386
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:51,022
Well, I guess this is it.
Better release the ashes now.
387
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,107
Marbles?
388
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:55,776
And a photo of my assistant
flipping me off?
389
00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:58,863
She's not dead?
Well, she's definitely fired.
390
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,782
And I still need closure.
391
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:03,535
[♪ dramatic music playing]
392
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:08,165
[groaning]
393
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,334
It's a marble storm!
394
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:16,714
[grunting]
395
00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:20,427
[marbles clattering]
396
00:20:23,263 --> 00:20:25,182
Those are some pretty crazy winds.
397
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:28,227
[slowly] Very mercurial.
398
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,897
I know it's weird,
399
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:36,150
but I feel more relaxed
than I have in a long time.
400
00:20:36,151 --> 00:20:38,153
Like I got something
out of my system.
401
00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:42,908
{\an8}This weekend was just what I needed.
Thanks, guys.
402
00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:48,622
{\an8}I'm ready for this vacation
to be over so I can relax.
403
00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:50,958
{\an8}And now,
the only other issue...
404
00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:54,794
{\an8}I just worry they're not gonna
believe us about the marbles.
405
00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:58,047
{\an8}It's not the best alibi.
In fact, it's not an alibi at all.
406
00:20:58,048 --> 00:20:59,925
{\an8}It's really just the murder weapon.