1 00:00:03,795 --> 00:00:07,338 "What are some of your greatest contributions to the CIA?" 2 00:00:07,339 --> 00:00:08,423 Pass. 3 00:00:08,424 --> 00:00:10,258 - "Long-term goals?" - Pass. 4 00:00:10,259 --> 00:00:12,093 - "Biggest strengths." - Pass. 5 00:00:12,094 --> 00:00:14,887 - "Greatest weakness." - Oh, man. Where to begin? 6 00:00:14,888 --> 00:00:18,141 I don't know how to turn on my computer, for one. Actually, pass. 7 00:00:18,142 --> 00:00:21,728 I don't think you're gonna be able to pass on every single question. 8 00:00:21,729 --> 00:00:24,313 Well, how many passes do you get in a performance review? 9 00:00:24,314 --> 00:00:27,443 I don't know. I want to say, like, 12. 10 00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:33,990 Explain me this. 11 00:00:33,991 --> 00:00:37,452 How is it that I absolutely plaster this town with flyers, 12 00:00:37,453 --> 00:00:39,996 but still not a single person shows up to see 13 00:00:39,997 --> 00:00:43,835 my Cherry Poppin' Daddies tribute band, The Hymen Bustin' Fathers? 14 00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:47,462 Roger, please. I'm practicing for my performance review at work, 15 00:00:47,463 --> 00:00:49,174 and I really need to... 16 00:00:49,924 --> 00:00:52,383 Why do you need to practice for a performance review? 17 00:00:52,384 --> 00:00:53,760 I'm not great off the cuff. 18 00:00:53,761 --> 00:00:56,179 I get all nervous and go blank when I'm not prepared. 19 00:00:56,180 --> 00:00:57,930 Not me. I'm good on my feet. 20 00:00:57,931 --> 00:00:59,766 And even better on my knees. 21 00:00:59,767 --> 00:01:02,018 I am so sick of that joke. 22 00:01:02,019 --> 00:01:03,728 Anyway, say no more, Stan. 23 00:01:03,729 --> 00:01:07,065 Really, say no more, because all he ever does is complain. 24 00:01:07,066 --> 00:01:08,191 Don't involve me in this. 25 00:01:08,192 --> 00:01:10,359 - Okay, let's-- - Can't chat now anyway. 26 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:13,823 Got to work on my tap-dancing for my big community theater audition. 27 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,407 Please, if I could have some quiet... 28 00:01:16,408 --> 00:01:18,284 I got these fat little kangaroo legs. 29 00:01:18,285 --> 00:01:20,161 Not ideal for funk tap. 30 00:01:20,162 --> 00:01:23,498 I'm all knee. Not like you, Stan. You've got dancer's legs. 31 00:01:23,499 --> 00:01:26,876 - Big muscular tree trunks. Mighty oaks. - Shut up! 32 00:01:26,877 --> 00:01:28,836 Why do you always have to be such a nuisance? 33 00:01:28,837 --> 00:01:31,172 You're not exactly perfect yourself, Stan. 34 00:01:31,173 --> 00:01:34,050 You put my zoot suit in the dryer, shrunk the hell out of it. 35 00:01:34,051 --> 00:01:36,094 - I look ridiculous. - That's my zoot suit. 36 00:01:36,095 --> 00:01:37,388 Well, it fits me better. 37 00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:41,434 Ugh. Come on, Francine. Let's go somewhere Roger can't bother us. 38 00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:45,645 Why didn't you come see my Cherry Poppin' Daddies tribute band, 39 00:01:45,646 --> 00:01:48,565 - The Hymen Bustin' Fathers? - Please stop saying that. 40 00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:53,154 What's that sound? 41 00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:57,742 Check it out, Rogu. I think these shoes are even louder than my old ones. 42 00:02:00,161 --> 00:02:04,082 Mmm, mmm, mmm. 43 00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:06,875 I'm good on my feet, but even better on my knees. 44 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:18,010 He's so annoying and he's always around. 45 00:02:18,011 --> 00:02:19,722 - It's like... - Hold that thought. 46 00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:24,725 {\an8}♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 47 00:02:24,726 --> 00:02:26,060 {\an8}Okay, you were saying? 48 00:02:26,061 --> 00:02:27,812 {\an8}It's like I can't even remember anymore 49 00:02:27,813 --> 00:02:29,772 why we ever became friends in the first place. 50 00:02:29,773 --> 00:02:35,111 Well, when you first met all those years ago at Area 51, he saved... 51 00:02:35,112 --> 00:02:36,946 {\an8}No, no need for that. 52 00:02:36,947 --> 00:02:38,948 {\an8}He saved my life at Area 51, 53 00:02:38,949 --> 00:02:41,868 {\an8}so we escaped together in a laundry truck, drove back to Virginia 54 00:02:41,869 --> 00:02:44,620 {\an8}in a stolen PT Cruiser, and I let him live with us. 55 00:02:44,621 --> 00:02:47,415 {\an8}Eventually repaid my life debt by saving his. 56 00:02:47,416 --> 00:02:49,500 {\an8}Yada, yada, yada. Because we were really friends. 57 00:02:49,501 --> 00:02:52,628 {\an8}But why, Franny, my baby? Why are we friends? 58 00:02:52,629 --> 00:02:55,464 {\an8}That's what I just can't remember after all these years together. 59 00:02:55,465 --> 00:02:57,717 {\an8}Everything he does gets on my nerves these days. 60 00:02:57,718 --> 00:03:01,012 {\an8}The way he eats, the way he walks. Scratch that. Waddles. 61 00:03:01,013 --> 00:03:02,847 {\an8}Oh, my God, that voice. 62 00:03:02,848 --> 00:03:05,391 {\an8}Wow. This is devastating stuff. 63 00:03:05,392 --> 00:03:08,853 {\an8}He's rude, he's selfish, he's clumsy and he's always snooping. 64 00:03:08,854 --> 00:03:10,439 {\an8}Okay. Those last two are not-- 65 00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:17,570 {\an8}You can't remember why we're friends anymore? 66 00:03:17,571 --> 00:03:20,156 {\an8}- Well, same here. - Are we even friends? 67 00:03:20,157 --> 00:03:21,782 {\an8}Friends do things for each other. 68 00:03:21,783 --> 00:03:23,868 {\an8}What do you ever do for me besides annoy me? 69 00:03:23,869 --> 00:03:25,411 {\an8}What do you ever do for me? 70 00:03:25,412 --> 00:03:28,664 {\an8}Maybe what you two need is some time alone together 71 00:03:28,665 --> 00:03:31,083 {\an8}to rediscover why you're friends. 72 00:03:31,084 --> 00:03:33,211 {\an8}A desert island situation. 73 00:03:33,212 --> 00:03:36,505 {\an8}Please don't take offense at this, but, Francine, you absolute fool. 74 00:03:36,506 --> 00:03:37,882 {\an8}More time together? 75 00:03:37,883 --> 00:03:40,635 {\an8}What I need is to get him as far away from me as possible. 76 00:03:40,636 --> 00:03:43,387 {\an8}Well, for once, I actually agree with this piece of shit. 77 00:03:43,388 --> 00:03:44,555 {\an8}You're the piece of shit. 78 00:03:44,556 --> 00:03:47,141 {\an8}So, how about I go ahead and check myself into a hotel, then? 79 00:03:47,142 --> 00:03:50,394 {\an8}- Perfect. I'll even drive you there. - Well, thank you so very much. 80 00:03:50,395 --> 00:03:52,355 {\an8}We should swing by Arby's on the way. 81 00:03:52,356 --> 00:03:55,360 {\an8}Great idea. I think it's five for five Beef 'n Cheddars. 82 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,571 {\an8}I feel like I should do something funny. 83 00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:02,116 Is this it? 84 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:13,000 Maybe all I really can do is just give it some time. 85 00:04:13,001 --> 00:04:14,963 Hey, thanks for listening, Klaus. 86 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:20,091 Steve, are you talking to the paper-mache sculpture of me 87 00:04:20,092 --> 00:04:23,219 Jurgen made for his court-mandated art therapy class? 88 00:04:23,220 --> 00:04:24,305 Sculpture? 89 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:26,514 Wow. 90 00:04:26,515 --> 00:04:28,474 I guess I was just so preoccupied with... 91 00:04:28,475 --> 00:04:29,934 Oh, something weighing on you? 92 00:04:29,935 --> 00:04:32,272 You know I'm this family's sounding board. 93 00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:36,609 - Lay it on me, bro. - Well, I could use a sympathetic ear. 94 00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:37,944 So, there's this girl. 95 00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:40,027 Oh... 96 00:04:40,028 --> 00:04:42,031 Nice. Pound it. 97 00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:46,826 And I'm confused about where we... 98 00:04:46,827 --> 00:04:48,452 - What's her name? - Kelsey. 99 00:04:48,453 --> 00:04:49,912 Oh... 100 00:04:49,913 --> 00:04:52,581 - Does she have big ones? - You know, maybe I should talk to... 101 00:04:52,582 --> 00:04:55,209 So here's what we do. Fake mugging. 102 00:04:55,210 --> 00:04:57,545 Then you swoop in and be the hero. 103 00:04:57,546 --> 00:04:59,880 Worked like a charm for my boy Squirts. 104 00:04:59,881 --> 00:05:01,841 I mean, he actually went to jail for a while, 105 00:05:01,842 --> 00:05:04,969 but there's all these crazy chicks who write to inmates and stuff. 106 00:05:04,970 --> 00:05:06,639 Crazy hot chicks. 107 00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:09,434 I'll reach out to Squirts and see if he has any pointers. 108 00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:15,521 God, you drive so bad. You drive so stupid. 109 00:05:15,522 --> 00:05:17,398 I cannot wait to be rid of you. 110 00:05:17,399 --> 00:05:19,402 Everything about you, just yuck. 111 00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,193 All your stupid little characters. 112 00:05:21,194 --> 00:05:23,781 "Francine, I realize now I was wrong." 113 00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:26,782 Stupido McDumbass, Douche Inspector. 114 00:05:26,783 --> 00:05:28,409 That's actually not a bad character idea. 115 00:05:28,410 --> 00:05:30,244 Ugh. You're the absolute worst. 116 00:05:30,245 --> 00:05:33,247 You are so loathsome. How I loathe you. 117 00:05:33,248 --> 00:05:34,623 I despise you. 118 00:05:34,624 --> 00:05:37,126 Your name should be Lindsay Loathe-han. 119 00:05:37,127 --> 00:05:40,671 If you were a movie, your name should be Despise Like Us. 120 00:05:40,672 --> 00:05:42,298 That is so dumb, 121 00:05:42,299 --> 00:05:45,260 which is why it just makes so much sense that you would say it. 122 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,388 - Oh, sweet. - Ugh. I'm so sick of this song. 123 00:05:49,389 --> 00:05:52,768 "Two Princes" by the Spin Doctors? You have the worst taste. 124 00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,895 "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong" by the Spin Doctors. 125 00:05:55,896 --> 00:05:58,857 - Now that's music. - My car, my song. 126 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:09,325 ♪ Princes who adore you... ♪ 127 00:06:09,326 --> 00:06:10,868 ♪ Little Miss, Little Miss... ♪ 128 00:06:10,869 --> 00:06:12,454 Aargh! I can't stand you! 129 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,763 Wow. Not a scratch on us. 130 00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:38,106 Is Roger okay? 131 00:06:38,856 --> 00:06:40,940 - Kind of. - Shit. 132 00:06:40,941 --> 00:06:44,735 Those asshats at the regular hospital pronounced you both dead, 133 00:06:44,736 --> 00:06:46,153 so I brought you here. 134 00:06:46,154 --> 00:06:48,739 Now, I did have to employ 135 00:06:48,740 --> 00:06:51,700 some unorthodox measures, 136 00:06:51,701 --> 00:06:54,829 but it was the only way I could save you. 137 00:06:54,830 --> 00:06:55,913 Mirror. 138 00:06:55,914 --> 00:06:59,417 Just know that it may take some time for you to adjust to. 139 00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:00,503 Mirror. 140 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:06,549 Oh, I look fine. And you gave me a haircut. 141 00:07:06,550 --> 00:07:08,428 - Nice. - Down here, Stan. 142 00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:21,858 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 143 00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:24,861 Oh, God. Aah! I thought it was all just a nightmare. 144 00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:27,488 No. 145 00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:29,780 Aah! 146 00:07:29,781 --> 00:07:31,909 Watch it. You splashed me, you brute. 147 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,452 Hey, can't quite reach my Acqua Di Gio. 148 00:07:34,453 --> 00:07:35,744 You already put some on. 149 00:07:35,745 --> 00:07:37,373 Yeah, but I like to use a lot. 150 00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:39,749 I'm happy right here. 151 00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:47,506 No bacon. I'm a pescatarian. 152 00:07:47,507 --> 00:07:50,843 Plus, I just can't have you putting that kind of garbage in our body, Stan. 153 00:07:50,844 --> 00:07:52,888 Oh, my God. I can't live like... 154 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,639 What the hell are you doing? 155 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:58,893 You think this is a walk in the park for me? I'm taking the edge off. 156 00:07:58,894 --> 00:07:59,977 Damn it, Roger. 157 00:07:59,978 --> 00:08:01,812 I've got my performance review today. 158 00:08:01,813 --> 00:08:04,150 - I can't show up to work drunk. - Whatever. 159 00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:06,901 - That's it. I'm cutting you out. - Stan, stop. 160 00:08:06,902 --> 00:08:10,279 Listen. Maybe this is just what you two need. 161 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,531 Your desert island situation. 162 00:08:12,532 --> 00:08:15,244 A chance to rediscover why you're friends. 163 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:19,121 I guess maybe I could feed you some good answers 164 00:08:19,122 --> 00:08:20,581 at your performance review. 165 00:08:20,582 --> 00:08:24,376 And then we could use those big, burly legs of yours to nail my audition. 166 00:08:24,377 --> 00:08:28,130 I suppose we have, at times, made a pretty good team in the past. 167 00:08:28,131 --> 00:08:30,676 Maybe this could all be for the best? 168 00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,301 Best friends? 169 00:08:32,302 --> 00:08:34,845 - The best of friends? - The very best. 170 00:08:34,846 --> 00:08:36,347 - Are we doing this? - I think so. 171 00:08:36,348 --> 00:08:39,058 - Are we [bleep] doing this? - Hell, yeah, we're doing this. 172 00:08:39,059 --> 00:08:40,726 Oi, oi, oi, oi! 173 00:08:40,727 --> 00:08:42,102 Whoo! 174 00:08:42,103 --> 00:08:44,857 Hey, look what I can do. Tickle, tickle, tickle. 175 00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:47,568 Stop. 176 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,237 Okay, Steve, small kink in your plan 177 00:08:51,238 --> 00:08:54,490 to have my boy Squirts help you get that girl with the big ones. 178 00:08:54,491 --> 00:08:56,410 He apparently died seven years ago. 179 00:08:57,411 --> 00:08:59,789 - What do you have behind your back? - Nothing. 180 00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:03,125 Telescoping-driving-cane- with-articulating-grabber-attachment. 181 00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:06,254 Whoa! Were you talking to that thing? 182 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:11,216 I'm sorry, but honestly, it's kind of a better listener than you. 183 00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:17,179 You just always butt in or miss the point or make that sound. 184 00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:20,351 - What sound? - If anyone even mentions a woman... 185 00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:22,309 Oh... 186 00:09:22,310 --> 00:09:25,064 - Hey, Steve, you done with Good Klaus? - Good Klaus? 187 00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:27,358 Ooh, it's Bad Klaus. 188 00:09:27,858 --> 00:09:29,441 Well, cat's out of the bag, I guess. 189 00:09:29,442 --> 00:09:31,652 I... What? You talk to it too? 190 00:09:31,653 --> 00:09:34,029 Yeah, and I really need to vent right now. 191 00:09:34,030 --> 00:09:36,323 Jeff's home sick today, and he's driving me crazy. 192 00:09:36,324 --> 00:09:37,449 Home sick from what? 193 00:09:37,450 --> 00:09:39,910 You know, following that turtle around the neighborhood. 194 00:09:39,911 --> 00:09:41,704 I got dibs after Hayley. 195 00:09:41,705 --> 00:09:45,666 And, guys, please don't leave Good Klaus just lying around. 196 00:09:45,667 --> 00:09:48,877 I found Rogu being inappropriate with it. 197 00:09:48,878 --> 00:09:52,049 And we don't want it to end up like that old teddy bear of his. 198 00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:54,675 He literally tore that thing a new A-hole. 199 00:09:54,676 --> 00:09:56,635 Okay. I'll put him in his room when I'm done. 200 00:09:56,636 --> 00:09:58,137 His room? 201 00:09:58,138 --> 00:10:00,598 Yeah, we kinda gave him the spare guest room. 202 00:10:00,599 --> 00:10:02,808 Shares a Jack-and-Jill bath with Dad's office. 203 00:10:02,809 --> 00:10:05,644 What? There's a... Okay, never mind that. 204 00:10:05,645 --> 00:10:09,106 Just talk to me, though, not that thing. 205 00:10:09,107 --> 00:10:11,066 I'm this family's sounding board. 206 00:10:11,067 --> 00:10:13,571 Talk to me! 207 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:15,865 Now, where were we? 208 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,163 - How you feeling, bud? - Feeling good. 209 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:23,912 Feeling good 'cause you're here, buddy. 210 00:10:23,913 --> 00:10:26,707 I got you, pal. I know how to chop it up with Bullock. 211 00:10:26,708 --> 00:10:29,253 - Smith. - Go time. 212 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,630 My records indicate that you missed 213 00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:35,509 112 days of work last year. 214 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,469 - Where were you all that time? - Mostly with your mom. 215 00:10:38,470 --> 00:10:40,222 Mostly with your mom. What? 216 00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:43,265 - What? - Your mambo teacher. 217 00:10:43,266 --> 00:10:45,476 Mostly with your mambo teacher. 218 00:10:45,477 --> 00:10:49,857 My mambo teacher is a saint. How dare you? 219 00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:54,610 Now, what do you consider your biggest strength? 220 00:10:54,611 --> 00:10:57,613 Say, "I'm good on my feet, but even better on my knees." 221 00:10:57,614 --> 00:10:58,697 What? No. 222 00:10:58,698 --> 00:11:00,366 - Say it. He'll think it's funny. - No. 223 00:11:00,367 --> 00:11:03,328 - No what? - No one's better than me at-- 224 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:05,665 Excuse me. 225 00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:09,249 - Be quiet in there. - Why are you ignoring my suggestions? 226 00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:11,001 Because your suggestions suck. 227 00:11:11,002 --> 00:11:12,922 - You suck. - I what? 228 00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:17,092 Nothing. How about I tell you some of my greatest weaknesses? 229 00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:22,264 A little liquid lunch. 230 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,973 Just like in the old days, huh? 231 00:11:24,974 --> 00:11:27,685 Are you offering me a beer? 232 00:11:27,686 --> 00:11:28,977 {\an8}- Yes. - No. 233 00:11:28,978 --> 00:11:30,147 {\an8}One moment, please. 234 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,737 You can have a pumpkin ale. 235 00:11:38,738 --> 00:11:42,034 Get the hell out of my office, you bastard! 236 00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,910 - You totally screwed me in there. - Oh, relax. 237 00:11:44,911 --> 00:11:47,164 I'll help you smooth things over after my audition. 238 00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:49,873 I'm not leaving work now to go to your stupid audition. 239 00:11:49,874 --> 00:11:50,958 But you promised. 240 00:11:50,959 --> 00:11:53,128 What are you gonna do about it, belly boy? 241 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:57,383 Uh-oh. 242 00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:05,182 Well, would you look at this? I can control Stan's legs now. 243 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,811 And would you look at this? Bicentennial quarter. 244 00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:16,150 Look at you. So smug. 245 00:12:16,151 --> 00:12:18,193 You may think you've replaced me, 246 00:12:18,194 --> 00:12:21,407 but I'm gonna make it so the family will talk to me again. 247 00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:25,202 Wow. You really are a good listener. 248 00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:36,213 And now we wait. 249 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,257 Okay. 250 00:12:40,258 --> 00:12:44,011 And you're sure you want to go ahead with the audition like this, 251 00:12:44,012 --> 00:12:46,348 with your son in tow? 252 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:50,142 Oh, yeah. Little guy's all tuckered out. Couldn't find a sitter. 253 00:12:50,143 --> 00:12:51,518 Won't slow me down a bit. 254 00:12:51,519 --> 00:12:54,104 Now, I've prepared a little tap-dance number for you. 255 00:12:54,105 --> 00:12:57,232 These are auditions for The Vagina Monologues. 256 00:12:57,233 --> 00:12:59,818 Well, a little razzle-dazzle couldn't hurt, right? 257 00:12:59,819 --> 00:13:01,071 Certainly not. 258 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,304 Psst. 259 00:13:27,305 --> 00:13:30,349 Old man, you seen a baseball bat around here? 260 00:13:30,350 --> 00:13:33,185 Baseball bat's been sent out for cleaning. 261 00:13:33,186 --> 00:13:36,148 - What? - Uh, Roger, where... 262 00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:39,191 You knocked me out and left work to come here? 263 00:13:39,192 --> 00:13:41,026 Stan, if you'll please just let me 264 00:13:41,027 --> 00:13:42,863 - hit you in the face with a hammer. - Ow! 265 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:45,781 You promised we'd come here, you selfish piece of-- 266 00:13:45,782 --> 00:13:47,407 - Ow! - , 267 00:13:47,408 --> 00:13:51,664 Me, selfish? I knew being stuck with you would be a disaster. 268 00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:56,209 Ow! 269 00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:06,218 Aah! 270 00:14:06,219 --> 00:14:08,472 Crotch punch. 271 00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:15,729 Oh. 272 00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:24,069 Good news. 273 00:14:24,070 --> 00:14:27,656 You survived your latest train accident intact, 274 00:14:27,657 --> 00:14:29,700 and I gave you a faux-hawk. 275 00:14:29,701 --> 00:14:32,619 - Thanks, Doc. But listen. - Is there any way... 276 00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:34,206 ...that you could separate us? 277 00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:39,459 To be honest, he didn't actually need 278 00:14:39,460 --> 00:14:41,920 to fuse you two together in the first place. 279 00:14:41,921 --> 00:14:43,005 Then why did you? 280 00:14:43,006 --> 00:14:45,801 She told me you needed a desert island situation. 281 00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:50,721 So I gave you a body buddy to rekindle your relationship. 282 00:14:50,722 --> 00:14:53,434 It's worked wonders for me and Billy. 283 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:57,519 No, it hasn't. I hate you more than ever. 284 00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:59,146 Quiet, Body-Billy. 285 00:14:59,147 --> 00:15:03,483 So, yes, I can separate you. But why would you want me to? 286 00:15:03,484 --> 00:15:07,404 Because, well, we've had our desert island situation. 287 00:15:07,405 --> 00:15:10,115 And we still can't seem to remember why we're friends. 288 00:15:10,116 --> 00:15:11,992 What we even do for each other. 289 00:15:11,993 --> 00:15:13,619 So maybe... 290 00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:15,954 Maybe we're not friends. 291 00:15:15,955 --> 00:15:19,083 Then I suppose what is needed is... 292 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:22,796 ...a best-friend-ectomy. 293 00:15:25,507 --> 00:15:28,967 Okay. Maybe I should have thought this through a little better. 294 00:15:28,968 --> 00:15:31,386 No one's come to talk to me yet. 295 00:15:31,387 --> 00:15:33,307 Getting pretty hungry. 296 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:39,019 Good Klaus, we need to talk. 297 00:15:39,020 --> 00:15:43,690 Ooh, here we go. Gentleman, singular, start your listening. 298 00:15:43,691 --> 00:15:47,486 - It's about Bad Klaus. - Real Klaus. 299 00:15:47,487 --> 00:15:49,821 As much of an improvement as you are over him 300 00:15:49,822 --> 00:15:51,990 and as much as we like you... 301 00:15:51,991 --> 00:15:55,077 - So much more than Bad Klaus. - Much, much more than him. 302 00:15:55,078 --> 00:15:57,371 Okay, not loving this. 303 00:15:57,372 --> 00:15:59,164 He's still family. 304 00:15:59,165 --> 00:16:03,128 And we decided that keeping you around is just too hurtful to him. 305 00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:04,252 Oh, hell, yeah. 306 00:16:04,253 --> 00:16:06,797 Okay, we'd better destroy this thing. 307 00:16:06,798 --> 00:16:09,424 Otherwise it'll be too tempting to go back to it. 308 00:16:09,425 --> 00:16:10,676 - What now? - Right. 309 00:16:10,677 --> 00:16:13,597 Let's just toss it to Rogu. He'll make short work of it. 310 00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:16,890 No, wait. It's me, Bad Klaus. 311 00:16:16,891 --> 00:16:20,980 Can't even grunt. Swallowed too much glue. 312 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,816 Wait! Help! 313 00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:26,191 Oh, God. 314 00:16:26,192 --> 00:16:27,818 Ooh! 315 00:16:27,819 --> 00:16:30,362 Orangey, orangey. 316 00:16:30,363 --> 00:16:32,072 No, no! 317 00:16:32,073 --> 00:16:34,952 No! 318 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,538 Okay, then. Best of luck to you. Have a nice eternity. 319 00:16:39,539 --> 00:16:40,622 You too. 320 00:16:40,623 --> 00:16:44,459 And tell the family, I don't know, goodbye forever from me, or whatever. 321 00:16:44,460 --> 00:16:45,546 It's been real. 322 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:51,800 ♪ If you want to buy me flowers ♪ 323 00:16:51,801 --> 00:16:54,722 ♪ Just go ahead now And if you... ♪ 324 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,726 ♪ And that's some bread now This one... ♪ 325 00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:19,496 All clear. You can come out now. Sit up front if you want. 326 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,663 I'm good back here. 327 00:17:21,664 --> 00:17:23,915 So you're really gonna let me live with you? 328 00:17:23,916 --> 00:17:26,835 I'm a man of my word. We've got a bomb shelter out back. 329 00:17:26,836 --> 00:17:29,046 I can leave groceries for you once a month. 330 00:17:29,047 --> 00:17:30,507 Cool, cool. 331 00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:37,429 So, what's space like? 332 00:17:37,430 --> 00:17:39,473 It's all right. A lot of hydrogen. 333 00:17:39,474 --> 00:17:42,852 And what kind of things do you like to get up to out there? 334 00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:46,857 Glorxnars. I like glorxnars. 335 00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,692 We don't have to do this, you know. 336 00:17:50,693 --> 00:17:54,780 I appreciate you putting me up and all, but silence is fine too. 337 00:17:54,781 --> 00:17:56,281 Well, excuse me, baldy. 338 00:17:56,282 --> 00:18:00,285 Whoa. Easy there, buckaroo. You're wound pretty tight, huh? 339 00:18:00,286 --> 00:18:04,414 Sorry. I just... Yes, I tend to be a somewhat rigid person. 340 00:18:04,415 --> 00:18:06,750 Is that your finger poking around my anus? 341 00:18:06,751 --> 00:18:10,420 Oh, you ain't lying, brother. You are as tight as a pencil sharpener. 342 00:18:10,421 --> 00:18:13,673 Okay. If we're gonna do this, though, none of this inane small talk. 343 00:18:13,674 --> 00:18:15,217 All right. Tell me something real. 344 00:18:15,218 --> 00:18:17,052 Tell me, like, a deep, dark secret. 345 00:18:17,053 --> 00:18:18,762 But my rigidity... 346 00:18:18,763 --> 00:18:20,597 - Come on, come on. - No, not happening. 347 00:18:20,598 --> 00:18:23,225 Well, I guess there is something, but... 348 00:18:23,226 --> 00:18:26,897 - No, I can't. You'll laugh. - Probably. Okay, I'll go first. 349 00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:29,523 Something personal about me? No genitals. 350 00:18:29,524 --> 00:18:31,441 Check it out. Smooth. 351 00:18:31,442 --> 00:18:33,860 There is a complicated system of cartilage 352 00:18:33,861 --> 00:18:35,570 that can pop out in a way, but... 353 00:18:35,571 --> 00:18:39,535 Okay, one thing I've never told anyone is... 354 00:18:40,994 --> 00:18:43,539 that I... I... 355 00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:48,544 I've always wanted to try growing a chinstrap beard. 356 00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:51,586 - You should do it. - Really? 357 00:18:51,587 --> 00:18:53,171 Yeah, you got the chin for it. 358 00:18:53,172 --> 00:18:55,843 Yeah, I'm picturing it, and it looks awesome. 359 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:56,967 Yeah? 360 00:18:56,968 --> 00:19:00,053 Also, I saw my grandfather kill a man with an axe when I was nine. 361 00:19:00,054 --> 00:19:03,517 And here I'd always heard that it never hurts to axe. 362 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,310 You're funny. Did you just come up with that? 363 00:19:07,311 --> 00:19:10,230 I'm good on my feet, but even better on my knees. 364 00:19:10,231 --> 00:19:11,523 Oh! 365 00:19:11,524 --> 00:19:15,195 - Can you even say that? - You're adorable. 366 00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:17,320 ♪ Princes who adore you... ♪ 367 00:19:17,321 --> 00:19:19,739 - Oh, I love this song. - Oh, me too. 368 00:19:19,740 --> 00:19:21,491 ♪ This one got a pepper in his pockets ♪ 369 00:19:21,492 --> 00:19:22,868 ♪ He's gonna buy you flowers ♪ 370 00:19:22,869 --> 00:19:24,202 - ♪ That's all red now ♪ - ♪ Go ahead ♪ 371 00:19:24,203 --> 00:19:25,871 ♪ This one gotta rock and gonna rock it ♪ 372 00:19:25,872 --> 00:19:27,289 ♪ Said he's gonna try a pocket ♪ 373 00:19:27,290 --> 00:19:28,709 - ♪ Go to bed now ♪ - ♪ Is what it said ♪ 374 00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:33,922 Well, this is it. 375 00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:37,926 All right. Well, guess I'll go get set up in the bomb shelter. 376 00:19:38,468 --> 00:19:41,928 You know, we do also have some space in the attic, 377 00:19:41,929 --> 00:19:45,184 if you'd, I don't know, rather stay in the house. 378 00:19:48,812 --> 00:19:50,898 That happens sometimes when I'm happy. 379 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:05,368 - Stan? - Roger? 380 00:20:05,369 --> 00:20:08,413 Oh, thank God. Listen, I remembered something. 381 00:20:08,414 --> 00:20:11,833 Our friendship, it's not about anything we do for each other, 382 00:20:11,834 --> 00:20:14,002 it's about how it feels when we're together. 383 00:20:14,003 --> 00:20:17,339 Sounds like somebody had a flashback to our first road trip. 384 00:20:17,340 --> 00:20:18,548 I did. 385 00:20:18,549 --> 00:20:21,801 I'm sorry I'd lost sight of how special our friendship is. 386 00:20:21,802 --> 00:20:26,181 It was only because I'd gotten really, really, really, really sick of you. 387 00:20:26,182 --> 00:20:28,352 Oh, Stan, me too. 388 00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:31,811 I'm glad you got off that bus, Roger. 389 00:20:31,812 --> 00:20:33,480 I had to, Stan. 390 00:20:33,481 --> 00:20:36,485 The bus driver caught me jerking off under a blanket. 391 00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,738 {\an8}Come on, pal. Let's go home. 392 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:52,501 {\an8}I'm afraid this time I actually did have to fuse you together. 393 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:56,378 {\an8}Oh, well. There's no one else I'd rather be stuck with. 394 00:20:56,379 --> 00:20:57,798 {\an8}Uh, Stan?