1 00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:06,547 Is the new stove coming today? Is it Stove Day? 2 00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:08,632 Merry Stove Day, Jeff. 3 00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:11,260 And we're not getting just any old stove. 4 00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:15,764 Le Bon Chaud is the fanciest French stove money can buy. 5 00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:17,141 Ooh-la-la. 6 00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:18,851 You've heard of Emily in Paris, 7 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,894 but have you heard of Steve in an apron? 8 00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:23,439 Did someone order a new stove? 9 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:26,108 That cheap piece of crap's not Le Bon Chaud. 10 00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:28,944 That European stove you wanted was way overpriced. 11 00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:30,237 What the hell, Dad? 12 00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:32,614 I invited Nerfer over to make scrambled eggs. 13 00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:34,451 I'm gonna look like a damn fool. 14 00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:37,997 Does anyone else hear a loud hiss? 15 00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:42,249 Obviously just a stove snake. Calm down. 16 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:44,128 Huh. That hose shouldn't be there. 17 00:00:57,183 --> 00:01:00,100 Hey, Candace. Yep. Stan bought another appliance. 18 00:01:00,101 --> 00:01:01,435 Better send the big ambulance. 19 00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:03,271 It's the whole family this time. 20 00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:09,067 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 21 00:01:09,068 --> 00:01:12,654 ♪ I got a feeling That it's gonna be A wonderful day ♪ 22 00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:15,449 ♪ The sun in the sky Has a smile on his face ♪ 23 00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:18,662 ♪ And he's shining a salute To the American race ♪ 24 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:25,167 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 25 00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:27,211 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 26 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,631 Ah! 27 00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:33,219 {\an8}♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 28 00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:37,763 {\an8}You are all very lucky. 29 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:40,349 {\an8}I have never in my entire career as a doctor 30 00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,851 {\an8}seen a family this severely deprived of oxygen. 31 00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:46,063 {\an8}First day being a doctor, so I've been saying stuff like that a lot. 32 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,442 {\an8}Okay, Smiths, time for your diagnosis. 33 00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:52,111 {\an8}You're all going to live. 34 00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:56,156 {\an8}Wow. We almost died. 35 00:01:56,157 --> 00:01:58,700 {\an8}Yeah, it really puts things in perspective. 36 00:01:58,701 --> 00:02:01,745 {\an8}We need to start living our lives to the fullest 37 00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:04,081 {\an8}and do all the things that we've been putting off. 38 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:07,709 {\an8}I always wanted to try the Tiny Tacos from Jack in the Box. 39 00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:10,087 {\an8}And you know what? I'm gonna go for it. 40 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:13,382 {\an8}I'm finally gonna start wearing low-rise jeans, 41 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:15,759 {\an8}even though Barry says I don't have the ass for it. 42 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,929 {\an8}My whole life, I've had a dream. 43 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:21,557 It has captivated my imagination, 44 00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:25,604 and enthralled me, but it has also frightened me. 45 00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:29,898 Everest, the highest peak on Earth. 46 00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:33,318 The ultimate test of human will. 47 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,445 Many have died trying. 48 00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:40,325 But those who reach the summit have achieved true greatness. 49 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:43,537 {\an8}As mountaineer Sir Edmund Hillary said, 50 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:47,334 {\an8}"It's not the mountain we conquer but ourselves." 51 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,544 {\an8}Mine sounds stupid now. 52 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:52,504 {\an8}- I wanna do Mom's thing. - Yeah, me too. 53 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:54,214 {\an8}I want to get super high. 54 00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:57,051 {\an8}This family is going to conquer Mount Everest. 55 00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:02,933 {\an8}In that case, I'd better write you a prescription for adventure. 56 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,978 {\an8}Isn't it wonderful how things work out? 57 00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:09,271 {\an8}You need to book a trip, 58 00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:13,150 {\an8}and it's the grand opening of my travel agency. 59 00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:16,945 {\an8}Can I offer you a water, coffee, maybe a glass of champagne? 60 00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:18,822 {\an8}Lovely. I'll take all three. 61 00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:21,283 {\an8}You called my bluff. I don't have any of those beverages. 62 00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:25,287 {\an8}But what I can offer you is the trip of a lifetime. 63 00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:29,875 {\an8}I've done my research, and here's what an Everest climb package costs. 64 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:32,544 {\an8}Wow. That's a lot. But I could work some overtime 65 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,713 {\an8}and maybe look into starting an OnlyFans account. 66 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:36,465 {\an8}Obviously, just tasteful solo stuff. 67 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:39,134 That's the per person charge. 68 00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:41,929 This is the whole enchilada. 69 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,139 That enchilada is too many tamales. 70 00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:46,725 Don't panic. Klaus has an alternative. 71 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:48,352 Thank goodness. What is it? 72 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:51,521 Zorbing. Sport of the future. 73 00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:55,776 Klaus, focus. Maybe there's a more affordable mountain we could climb. 74 00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:59,237 This Mount Chimborazo is really cheap. 75 00:03:59,238 --> 00:04:02,616 - Not sure I can recommend-- - Chimborazo it is. 76 00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:03,992 Oh-ho! 77 00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:06,912 It says here that because of the equatorial bulge, 78 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:11,375 the summit of Chimborazo is actually the closest point on Earth to the sun. 79 00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:13,710 Of course, the equatorial bulge. 80 00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:16,380 That's super, because I'm an OG bulge boy. 81 00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:18,590 Ride or die. Bulge boys, mount up. 82 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:22,054 And I ain't exactly complaining about the proximity to the sun. 83 00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:27,057 Why are we flying on Air Ecuador? 84 00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:29,726 Air Ecuador doesn't only fly to Ecuador, 85 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:32,354 like how Southwest doesn't only fly to the southwest. 86 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:35,359 And Virgin Air doesn't just fly to your bedroom. Boom. 87 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:39,027 I'm not feeling my look today. 88 00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:41,989 You ever walk out of the house and realize you look like an idiot? 89 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,492 I mean, this guy knows how I feel. 90 00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:48,537 {\an8}You still haven't told the family they're not going to Everest? 91 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:51,707 {\an8}I'm waiting for the perfect moment. I'm thinking right at the summit. 92 00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:54,376 {\an8}Well, good luck with that. I'm gonna go hit on divorcees 93 00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:57,506 {\an8}in the glass-walled smoking section that looks like a futuristic prison. 94 00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:02,384 Well, I somehow made it even worse. 95 00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:05,220 I am pumped for this. I mean, it's Everest. 96 00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:07,014 Nothing else can compare. 97 00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:11,143 Technically, everything can be compared. That's how comparing works. 98 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:14,187 Have you noticed that Dad's acting a little weird? Watch this. 99 00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:16,773 I sure am excited to climb Everest. 100 00:05:16,774 --> 00:05:18,483 It's cool to be up really high. 101 00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:21,903 But it's more important, at least to me, to be close to the sun. 102 00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:24,197 Dad, why do you keep talking about the sun? 103 00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:26,575 I'm not doing that. Hey, switching subjects. 104 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:29,870 Did you know that one million Earths would fit inside the sun? 105 00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:32,205 Stan, what the hell is going on? 106 00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:34,501 {\an8}- We're going to Everest, right? - Klaus. 107 00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:40,922 Well, I was gonna wait for the summit, but you ruined my surprise. 108 00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:43,926 We are going to Mount Chimborazo. 109 00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:47,554 And the crowd goes wild. 110 00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:50,640 Stan, I wanted to go to Everest. 111 00:05:50,641 --> 00:05:53,977 I wanted to stand on the highest point. 112 00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:57,355 If you talk about the sun one more time, I will cut your tongue out. 113 00:05:57,356 --> 00:06:01,985 We almost died and vowed to live life to the fullest, 114 00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:05,614 and you bring us to Mount Chin-beard-rat-turd. 115 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,991 Was it the money, you damn cheapskate? 116 00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:10,786 Dad, I hate you. You're so annoying. How dare you? 117 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:15,082 All I wanted was to get my family close to the sun on a budget. 118 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:17,334 - Come on. - I don't understand why they're so mad. 119 00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:21,131 I almost suspect they're unfamiliar with the equatorial bulge. 120 00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:28,929 We should probably hit the sack. Gotta get up early for our big climb. 121 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:32,140 We are not climbing that dinky little mountain. 122 00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:34,267 Come on, kids. Let's go get drunk. 123 00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:37,437 That's "Bye, Felicia" in Sherpa. 124 00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:38,857 Which I learned for nothing. 125 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:44,236 Everyone is being so mean to me about Chimborazo. 126 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,822 Stan, we can still turn this trip around. 127 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:50,577 I took it upon myself to book you all a 5:00 a.m. Zorb. 128 00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:55,623 Someone has forgotten what Zorbing is. 129 00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,627 What's with this music? 130 00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:03,631 Would it kill this dude to play some Alice In Chains? 131 00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:08,051 Another round of drinks for our foreign visitors, 132 00:07:08,052 --> 00:07:12,305 and I also made little paintings of each of you. 133 00:07:12,306 --> 00:07:14,724 A souvenir of your trip. 134 00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:17,727 My God. How do we get rid of this dingleberry? 135 00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:20,230 {\an8}I don't know. He's kind of got a cool style. 136 00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:23,652 If you need anything else, don't hesitate to call my name. 137 00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:25,445 Vicente. 138 00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:29,614 Are we really gonna climb this lame-ass mountain? 139 00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:34,035 No. You cannot climb Chimborazo this time of year. 140 00:07:34,036 --> 00:07:37,622 Very dangerous. Certain death. 141 00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:41,003 Stan, did you know this mountain was a death trap? 142 00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:42,711 Stan's gone. 143 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,796 A few hours ago, he up and left, mumbling, 144 00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:48,676 "Screw the family. I'm gonna climb Chimborazo on my own." 145 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:55,515 We must go after your father and find him before he meets his death on the mountain. 146 00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:59,436 Prepare yourself for the climb. We leave at dawn. 147 00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:00,979 Let's just leave now. 148 00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:03,940 I hate going to bed then having to get up all groggy. 149 00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:05,734 - Yeah. - Yeah, I totally agree. 150 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:08,195 No, we leave at dawn. 151 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:12,532 Dawn is when you leave to climb a mountain, Jeff. 152 00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:15,037 Vicente knows my name. 153 00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:21,418 Ow! Hey, Vicente, are you getting a lot of rocks in your sandals? 154 00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:24,044 Yeah, me neither. 155 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:28,757 I'm so annoyed your dumb father is climbing this stump of a mountain. 156 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:32,346 You know, technically, because of the equatorial bulge-- 157 00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:41,353 Hey, I'm thirsty. Did anybody bring any water? 158 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,812 Not to worry. 159 00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:45,607 Chimborazo has many treats for travelers. 160 00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:50,656 But watch out, because sometimes the travelers become the treats. 161 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,365 Whoa. 162 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,619 - Can I keep this knife? - No. 163 00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:01,373 Eh. I prefer grapefruit LaCroix. 164 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:04,668 Because of the volcanic activity below 165 00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,336 and the grapefruit orchard above, 166 00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:09,339 - this stream-- - Tastes just like grapefruit LaCroix. 167 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:12,550 Call me when you have a Sierra Mist river. 168 00:09:12,551 --> 00:09:15,136 Chimborazo, she is a dangerous slut. 169 00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:16,972 Jeff, watch out. 170 00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,557 Sorry. I thought that tree behind you was a monster. 171 00:09:19,558 --> 00:09:24,980 - Can I have this knife? - No, man. It's not, like, free knife day. 172 00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:28,149 I recently guided an artist from Pixar up the mountain. 173 00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:32,612 He was thinking of setting the next Pixar movie on Chimborazo. 174 00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:35,490 About a country alpaca that moves down the mountains 175 00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:38,827 and gets bullied by a bunch of mean city alpacas. 176 00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:43,458 Alpaca pillow to that movie, because it sounds like a snooze. 177 00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:53,174 Hello, Esmeralda. Klaus Heissler. 178 00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:58,054 I need to cancel all seven of the Zorb sessions that I booked. 179 00:09:58,055 --> 00:10:02,726 I'm sorry. You booked our non-refundable Zorb experiences. 180 00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:06,938 I can offer you a credit. You could use it for a helicopter tour, or-- 181 00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:09,899 Look, hon, you're not dealing with some tourist schmuck. 182 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:13,153 - I'm a travel agent. - You seem like a tourist schmuck. 183 00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,196 I just told you I wasn't one of those. 184 00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:17,782 Okay, that's it. Let's settle this like adults. 185 00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:22,162 Adults inside Zorbs. I challenge you to a Zorb fight. 186 00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,830 I accept. 187 00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:26,708 But only because I feel like humiliating a fish today. 188 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,376 Joke's on you. 189 00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:32,382 Being humiliated by a beautiful woman is a huge turn-on for me. 190 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:37,052 Well, sure. This view is a little magnificent, I guess. 191 00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,262 Yeah, and I have to say, 192 00:10:39,263 --> 00:10:42,640 I didn't mind that meadow back there that smelled like fresh waffles. 193 00:10:42,641 --> 00:10:45,894 Family meeting right now. I know what's happening. 194 00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:49,230 You're starting to have a good time. Well, knock it off. 195 00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:51,358 Climbing Everest was the dream, 196 00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:54,569 and yet your father brought us to Chimbo-Crapo. 197 00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:56,905 Right. Dad always does stuff like this, 198 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:59,657 and we start having fun and let him off the hook, 199 00:10:59,658 --> 00:11:01,368 but not this time, capisce? 200 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:04,496 I could go for a capisce right now. 201 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:07,207 Hungry? The mountain, she provides. 202 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,002 This whole mountain is edible. 203 00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:10,877 Mmm. 204 00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:12,297 No. That's just dirt. 205 00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:19,844 - How is it? Bad, right? - Yeah. 206 00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:24,518 Unless you're into perfectly cooked and seasoned meat that melts in your mouth. 207 00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:29,729 Oh, a cute little monkey. 208 00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:32,148 I think it looks like Richard Nixon. 209 00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:34,984 You're right. And probably just as big a liar. 210 00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:37,823 I'll bet he wants to take us off the gold standard too. 211 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,866 That was just a little joke nobody got. 212 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,662 I love you. 213 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,210 Fear not. 214 00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:55,713 The mountain, she will provide us shelter from the passing storm. 215 00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:57,674 Yes. Mother mountain. 216 00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:01,094 She will nestle us in the cleavage of her rock-hard tits. 217 00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:02,804 Ahhh! 218 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,058 Chimborazo, she is a dangerous slut. 219 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:13,481 Where are we? 220 00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:17,777 Inside a crystal geode that has grown within the mountain for eons. 221 00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:21,406 Some call this the heart of Chimborazo. 222 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:25,410 I have to admit, I feel a little good. 223 00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:28,580 It is believed that these crystals have healing powers. 224 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:32,000 It's how I've managed to stay in such good shape 225 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:34,463 even though I am 97 years old. 226 00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,840 Okay. I can't fight it anymore. 227 00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,134 I'm having a wonderful time. 228 00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:44,053 Oh, my God. Thank you. I love this mountain. 229 00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:45,763 But when we find your father, 230 00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:48,183 we can't tell him that we enjoyed ourselves, okay? 231 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:50,226 I'm still very mad at him. 232 00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:53,023 I mean, pretty mad. I think. 233 00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:54,689 I don't know. 234 00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:58,109 I feel so amazing in this [bleep] cave. 235 00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:01,488 Come. The rain has passed. We must go. 236 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,742 Too long in here, you turn into a baby. 237 00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:06,034 Dad. 238 00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:08,745 Look who decided to climb the crappy mountain that no one likes 239 00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:10,663 to find the dad that everyone hates. 240 00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:13,416 You're alive. But you look terrible. 241 00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:15,043 This mountain is hell. 242 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:17,587 I crossed a river of sulfur, bramble fields, 243 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,380 and there were so many spiders. 244 00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:22,008 Sounds like you traveled through 245 00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:26,054 El Valle Azufre de Aranas y Zarzas. 246 00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:28,473 The Sulfurous Brambly Valley of Spiders. 247 00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,683 I see you made a friend. That's fun. 248 00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:33,144 I met a pack of wolves that stole my shoes. 249 00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:36,189 Stan, I'm sorry that you had a tough time. 250 00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:38,107 But that doesn't change the fact-- 251 00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:40,902 No. I will not stand for this. 252 00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:43,988 I must defend the honor of this broken man. 253 00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:49,035 Everyone can tell he is a simple working man that makes very little money. 254 00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:50,870 I mean, I do all right. 255 00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:54,666 He tries his best to provide his family with fun, affordable vacation. 256 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,417 And what do you people do? 257 00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:59,462 You complain about everything. 258 00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:02,882 Yeah. Oh, man. I spit on my sandals. 259 00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:05,176 I can't lie. 260 00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:08,763 The truth is we've had a wonderful time. 261 00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:13,059 - We love Chimborazo. - I've secretly treasured every moment. 262 00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:15,728 And I love this monkey! 263 00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:18,982 I can't wait to tell everyone I know about this place. 264 00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:22,527 Oh, yeah. Everybody is gonna hear about this mountain. 265 00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,863 As soon as I have service, I'm gonna blow Instagram up. 266 00:14:25,864 --> 00:14:28,199 - Click. - That's not a click. 267 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,535 This is a click. 268 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:33,955 - I'm partial to clacks myself. - Enough. 269 00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:35,873 Vicente, what are you doing? 270 00:14:35,874 --> 00:14:37,875 I am doing my job. 271 00:14:37,876 --> 00:14:40,253 My real job. 272 00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:43,339 You see, I am not actually a sexy waiter 273 00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:45,300 or a super-hot mountain guide. 274 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:49,513 I am the protector of Chimborazo. 275 00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:56,644 And as the protector of Chimborazo, I must kill you all. 276 00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:59,355 Because I took a dump in that crystal cave? 277 00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:01,441 You did what? 278 00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:05,903 I must kill you to keep this sacred place from being ruined like Everest has been. 279 00:15:05,904 --> 00:15:08,781 I won't let it be flooded with stupid tourists. 280 00:15:08,782 --> 00:15:13,911 And thus, your family cannot live to tell the tale of Chimborazo. 281 00:15:13,912 --> 00:15:17,709 As we say in Ecuador, "Sowwy". 282 00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:25,298 Secret protector of the mountain? Boring. I've lost all interest. 283 00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:27,383 I was hoping his secret was something impressive, 284 00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:28,635 like he could blow himself. 285 00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:30,261 Where are you taking us, Vicente? 286 00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:33,222 To El Culo del Diablo que Pica. 287 00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:35,642 The Devil's Itchy Butthole. 288 00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:38,561 Where I'm going to throw you into a pit of hot magma. 289 00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:41,230 We never would have told anybody about this place, 290 00:15:41,231 --> 00:15:43,149 until you made us fall in love with it. 291 00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:45,109 I always end up doing this. 292 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:48,863 I feel compelled to show people the beauty of Chimborazo, 293 00:15:48,864 --> 00:15:51,324 and then I feel compelled to kill them. 294 00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:54,869 - Dad, do something. - Oh, I thought I couldn't do anything right. 295 00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:58,498 But now that you want me to save your lives, I'm Mr. Popularity. 296 00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:00,001 Well, okay. 297 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,753 So weak. 298 00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:07,676 Maybe from the many dozens of spider bites. 299 00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:13,890 Sure, sure. I know three of these are nipples, but it's still a lot. 300 00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:26,234 Phew. 301 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:27,652 Okay. 302 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,987 I know we're supposed to be fighting, but that was-- 303 00:16:29,988 --> 00:16:31,656 Amazing. 304 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,908 Where'd you learn to Zorb like that? 305 00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:36,786 Every night, I have the same dream. 306 00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:39,497 And in the dream, I am Zorbing. 307 00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,290 Same. 308 00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:45,128 I never thought I'd find someone that loves Zorbs as much as I do. 309 00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:48,007 I never thought I'd meet such a cute fish. 310 00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:51,843 I'm kissing. 311 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,679 I can't wait for you to meet my family when they get back with Vicente. 312 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,266 They're with Vicente? Oh, no. 313 00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:05,314 The Devil's Itchy Butthole. 314 00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:08,109 A suitable end for those who would threaten 315 00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:11,446 the pristine beauty of Chimborazo. 316 00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:15,285 But we aren't. I swear. We would never-- 317 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,661 - My bad. - Dad's useless. 318 00:17:18,662 --> 00:17:20,705 So we need to do something about Vicente. 319 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:25,293 One thing I've noticed about Vicente, he is very horny for this mountain. 320 00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:28,671 We can use his love of the mountain against him. 321 00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:31,632 Yeah. We'll trick him into showing us more and more of the mountain 322 00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:33,426 until we have a chance to escape. 323 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:37,305 All right, Vicente, you might as well just go ahead and throw us in. 324 00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:41,100 We've seen all there is to see on old Chimborazo. 325 00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:43,728 Oh! Far from it. 326 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:46,481 She's barely pulled up her dress for you. 327 00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:49,525 You're saying there's more to this beautiful mountain? 328 00:17:49,526 --> 00:17:54,407 Ah! I know I should just throw you in the magma. But... 329 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,793 - Whoa. - It's incredible. 330 00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:11,672 These creatures are found only here, near the top of Chimborazo. 331 00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:15,970 You are one of the few outsiders to ever see them. 332 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,679 Wow. Cool bird. 333 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,308 We call that one Feather Bent Squawkadelic. 334 00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:24,101 Wow. Cool name. 335 00:18:24,102 --> 00:18:28,689 This sleeve of enchanted E.L. Fudges has got me feeling right as rain. 336 00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:33,444 I know he wants to kill us, but I kind of agree with Vicente. 337 00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:36,656 It would be terrible if tourists ruin this mountain. 338 00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:38,783 Yeah, this place is special. 339 00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:42,328 Well, well, well. Chimborazo, eh? 340 00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:44,163 Not such a bad idea after all. 341 00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:47,667 Three cheers for Stan. Father of the year. 342 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:49,754 Squawk, squawk, squawk! 343 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,803 She really is quite the mountain. 344 00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:02,306 She sure is. Wait a minute. I just remembered. 345 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:04,600 - We're about to get murdered. - It's always something. 346 00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:06,520 You can never just enjoy the moment. 347 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:17,323 Pixar is back to make their alpaca movie. 348 00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:20,157 This ends now. 349 00:19:20,158 --> 00:19:23,160 - Why don't you use your gun? - That's not a gun. 350 00:19:23,161 --> 00:19:28,126 It is another amazing creature found only on Chimborazo. 351 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,090 This mountain is too important. 352 00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:38,426 We must join Vicente and fight for it. 353 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,094 For Chimborazo! 354 00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:42,015 Squawk! Squawk! 355 00:19:43,141 --> 00:19:45,183 Let's beat up some nerds! 356 00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:57,279 Next time you'll think twice before you mess with Pixar. 357 00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:07,121 - Is that-- - Guys, I met someone. 358 00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:08,289 I'm in love. 359 00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:10,082 Abuelo! 360 00:20:10,083 --> 00:20:12,878 Esmeralda, Pixar is back. 361 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,933 Yeah. Suck it, Pixar. 362 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,935 I misjudged this family. 363 00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:31,520 You are pure of heart and spirit. 364 00:20:31,521 --> 00:20:33,564 {\an8}You love this mountain as I do. 365 00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,983 {\an8}I name you all henceforth 366 00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:39,403 {\an8}fellow protectors of Chimborazo. 367 00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:42,615 {\an8}- Thank you, Vicente. - Do we actually have to do anything? 368 00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:47,664 {\an8}With that Pixar movie shelved, Chimborazo shall remain a secret forever.