1 00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:06,548 Is the new stove coming today? Is it Stove Day? 2 00:00:06,549 --> 00:00:08,633 Merry Stove Day, Jeff. 3 00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:11,261 And we're not getting just any old stove. 4 00:00:11,262 --> 00:00:15,765 Le Bon Chaud is the fanciest French stove money can buy. 5 00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:17,142 Ooh-la-la. 6 00:00:17,143 --> 00:00:18,852 You've heard of Emily in Paris, 7 00:00:18,853 --> 00:00:20,895 but have you heard of Steve in an apron? 8 00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:23,440 Did someone order a new stove? 9 00:00:23,441 --> 00:00:26,109 That cheap piece of crap's not Le Bon Chaud. 10 00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:28,945 That European stove you wanted was way overpriced. 11 00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:30,238 What the hell, Dad? 12 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,615 I invited Nerfer over to make scrambled eggs. 13 00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:34,451 I'm gonna look like a damn fool. 14 00:00:34,452 --> 00:00:35,869 [air hissing] 15 00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:37,997 Does anyone else hear a loud hiss? 16 00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:42,250 Obviously just a stove snake. Calm down. 17 00:00:42,251 --> 00:00:44,128 Huh. That hose shouldn't be there. 18 00:00:57,183 --> 00:01:00,101 Hey, Candace. Yep. Stan bought another appliance. 19 00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:01,436 Better send the big ambulance. 20 00:01:01,437 --> 00:01:03,271 It's the whole family this time. 21 00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:05,065 [♪ theme song playing] 22 00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:09,068 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 23 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:12,655 ♪ I got a feeling That it's gonna be A wonderful day ♪ 24 00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:15,450 ♪ The sun in the sky Has a smile on his face ♪ 25 00:01:15,451 --> 00:01:18,662 ♪ And he's shining a salute To the American race ♪ 26 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:25,168 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 27 00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:27,212 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 28 00:01:27,213 --> 00:01:28,631 [Roger] Ah! 29 00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:33,219 {\an8}[chorus] ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 30 00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:37,764 {\an8}You are all very lucky. 31 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:40,350 {\an8}I have never in my entire career as a doctor 32 00:01:40,351 --> 00:01:42,852 {\an8}seen a family this severely deprived of oxygen. 33 00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:46,064 {\an8}First day being a doctor, so I've been saying stuff like that a lot. 34 00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:48,442 {\an8}Okay, Smiths, time for your diagnosis. 35 00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:52,111 {\an8}You're all going to live. 36 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,571 {\an8}[all sigh in relief] 37 00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:56,157 {\an8}Wow. We almost died. 38 00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:58,701 {\an8}Yeah, it really puts things in perspective. 39 00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:01,746 {\an8}We need to start living our lives to the fullest 40 00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:04,082 {\an8}and do all the things that we've been putting off. 41 00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:07,710 {\an8}I always wanted to try the Tiny Tacos from Jack in the Box. 42 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:10,088 {\an8}And you know what? I'm gonna go for it. 43 00:02:10,089 --> 00:02:13,383 {\an8}I'm finally gonna start wearing low-rise jeans, 44 00:02:13,384 --> 00:02:15,760 {\an8}even though Barry says I don't have the ass for it. 45 00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:18,930 {\an8}My whole life, I've had a dream. 46 00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:21,558 It has captivated my imagination, 47 00:02:21,559 --> 00:02:25,604 and enthralled me, but it has also frightened me. 48 00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:29,899 Everest, the highest peak on Earth. 49 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:33,319 The ultimate test of human will. 50 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,446 Many have died trying. 51 00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:40,326 But those who reach the summit have achieved true greatness. 52 00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:43,538 {\an8}As mountaineer Sir Edmund Hillary said, 53 00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:47,334 {\an8}"It's not the mountain we conquer but ourselves." 54 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,545 {\an8}Mine sounds stupid now. 55 00:02:50,546 --> 00:02:52,505 {\an8}- I wanna do Mom's thing. - Yeah, me too. 56 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,215 {\an8}I want to get super high. 57 00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:57,051 {\an8}This family is going to conquer Mount Everest. 58 00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:58,803 {\an8}[all cheer] 59 00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:02,933 {\an8}In that case, I'd better write you a prescription for adventure. 60 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,979 {\an8}Isn't it wonderful how things work out? 61 00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,272 {\an8}You need to book a trip, 62 00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:13,151 {\an8}and it's the grand opening of my travel agency. 63 00:03:13,152 --> 00:03:16,946 {\an8}Can I offer you a water, coffee, maybe a glass of champagne? 64 00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:18,823 {\an8}Lovely. I'll take all three. 65 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:21,284 {\an8}You called my bluff. I don't have any of those beverages. 66 00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:25,288 {\an8}But what I can offer you is the trip of a lifetime. 67 00:03:25,289 --> 00:03:29,876 {\an8}I've done my research, and here's what an Everest climb package costs. 68 00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:32,545 {\an8}Wow. That's a lot. But I could work some overtime 69 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,714 {\an8}and maybe look into starting an OnlyFans account. 70 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,466 {\an8}Obviously, just tasteful solo stuff. 71 00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:39,135 That's the per person charge. 72 00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:41,930 This is the whole enchilada. 73 00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:44,140 That enchilada is too many tamales. 74 00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:46,726 Don't panic. Klaus has an alternative. 75 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,353 Thank goodness. What is it? 76 00:03:48,354 --> 00:03:51,522 Zorbing. Sport of the future. 77 00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:55,777 Klaus, focus. Maybe there's a more affordable mountain we could climb. 78 00:03:55,778 --> 00:03:59,238 This Mount Chimborazo is really cheap. 79 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:02,617 - Not sure I can recommend-- - Chimborazo it is. 80 00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:03,993 Oh-ho! 81 00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:06,913 It says here that because of the equatorial bulge, 82 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:11,376 the summit of Chimborazo is actually the closest point on Earth to the sun. 83 00:04:11,377 --> 00:04:13,711 Of course, the equatorial bulge. 84 00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:16,381 That's super, because I'm an OG bulge boy. 85 00:04:16,382 --> 00:04:18,591 Ride or die. Bulge boys, mount up. 86 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:22,054 And I ain't exactly complaining about the proximity to the sun. 87 00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:27,058 Why are we flying on Air Ecuador? 88 00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:29,727 Air Ecuador doesn't only fly to Ecuador, 89 00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:32,355 like how Southwest doesn't only fly to the southwest. 90 00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:35,359 And Virgin Air doesn't just fly to your bedroom. Boom. 91 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:39,028 I'm not feeling my look today. 92 00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:41,990 You ever walk out of the house and realize you look like an idiot? 93 00:04:41,991 --> 00:04:43,492 I mean, this guy knows how I feel. 94 00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:48,538 {\an8}You still haven't told the family they're not going to Everest? 95 00:04:48,539 --> 00:04:51,708 {\an8}I'm waiting for the perfect moment. I'm thinking right at the summit. 96 00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:54,377 {\an8}Well, good luck with that. I'm gonna go hit on divorcees 97 00:04:54,378 --> 00:04:57,506 {\an8}in the glass-walled smoking section that looks like a futuristic prison. 98 00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:02,385 Well, I somehow made it even worse. 99 00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:05,221 I am pumped for this. I mean, it's Everest. 100 00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:07,015 Nothing else can compare. 101 00:05:07,016 --> 00:05:11,144 Technically, everything can be compared. That's how comparing works. 102 00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:14,188 Have you noticed that Dad's acting a little weird? Watch this. 103 00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:16,774 I sure am excited to climb Everest. 104 00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:18,484 It's cool to be up really high. 105 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:21,904 But it's more important, at least to me, to be close to the sun. 106 00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:24,198 Dad, why do you keep talking about the sun? 107 00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:26,576 I'm not doing that. Hey, switching subjects. 108 00:05:26,577 --> 00:05:29,871 Did you know that one million Earths would fit inside the sun? 109 00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:32,206 Stan, what the hell is going on? 110 00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,501 {\an8}- We're going to Everest, right? - Klaus. 111 00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:40,923 Well, I was gonna wait for the summit, but you ruined my surprise. 112 00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:43,926 We are going to Mount Chimborazo. 113 00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,720 [imitates cheering] 114 00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:47,555 And the crowd goes wild. 115 00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:50,641 Stan, I wanted to go to Everest. 116 00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:53,978 I wanted to stand on the highest point. 117 00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:57,356 If you talk about the sun one more time, I will cut your tongue out. 118 00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:01,986 We almost died and vowed to live life to the fullest, 119 00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:05,615 and you bring us to Mount Chin-beard-rat-turd. 120 00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:07,992 Was it the money, you damn cheapskate? 121 00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:10,787 Dad, I hate you. You're so annoying. How dare you? 122 00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:15,083 [Stan] All I wanted was to get my family close to the sun on a budget. 123 00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:17,335 - [Roger] Come on. - I don't understand why they're so mad. 124 00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:21,131 I almost suspect they're unfamiliar with the equatorial bulge. 125 00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:28,930 We should probably hit the sack. Gotta get up early for our big climb. 126 00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:32,141 We are not climbing that dinky little mountain. 127 00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:34,268 Come on, kids. Let's go get drunk. 128 00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:37,438 [speaks other language] That's "Bye, Felicia" in Sherpa. 129 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:38,857 Which I learned for nothing. 130 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:44,237 Everyone is being so mean to me about Chimborazo. 131 00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:46,823 Stan, we can still turn this trip around. 132 00:06:46,824 --> 00:06:50,577 I took it upon myself to book you all a 5:00 a.m. Zorb. 133 00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:55,623 Someone has forgotten what Zorbing is. 134 00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:57,292 [♪ flamenco music playing] 135 00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,628 What's with this music? 136 00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:03,631 Would it kill this dude to play some Alice In Chains? 137 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:04,966 [chuckles] 138 00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:08,052 Another round of drinks for our foreign visitors, 139 00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:12,306 and I also made little paintings of each of you. 140 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,725 A souvenir of your trip. 141 00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:17,728 My God. How do we get rid of this dingleberry? 142 00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:20,231 {\an8}I don't know. He's kind of got a cool style. 143 00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:23,652 If you need anything else, don't hesitate to call my name. 144 00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:25,445 Vicente. 145 00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:29,615 Are we really gonna climb this lame-ass mountain? 146 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:34,036 No. You cannot climb Chimborazo this time of year. 147 00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:37,623 Very dangerous. Certain death. 148 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:41,003 Stan, did you know this mountain was a death trap? 149 00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:42,712 Stan's gone. 150 00:07:42,713 --> 00:07:44,797 A few hours ago, he up and left, mumbling, 151 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:48,676 "Screw the family. I'm gonna climb Chimborazo on my own." 152 00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:50,803 [all gasp] 153 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:55,516 We must go after your father and find him before he meets his death on the mountain. 154 00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:59,437 Prepare yourself for the climb. We leave at dawn. 155 00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:00,980 Let's just leave now. 156 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:03,941 I hate going to bed then having to get up all groggy. 157 00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:05,735 - Yeah. - Yeah, I totally agree. 158 00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:08,196 No, we leave at dawn. 159 00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:12,533 Dawn is when you leave to climb a mountain, Jeff. 160 00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:15,037 Vicente knows my name. 161 00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:21,418 Ow! Hey, Vicente, are you getting a lot of rocks in your sandals? 162 00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:24,045 Yeah, me neither. 163 00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:28,758 I'm so annoyed your dumb father is climbing this stump of a mountain. 164 00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:32,346 You know, technically, because of the equatorial bulge-- 165 00:08:33,055 --> 00:08:35,098 [screams] 166 00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:41,354 Hey, I'm thirsty. Did anybody bring any water? 167 00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:42,813 Not to worry. 168 00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:45,608 Chimborazo has many treats for travelers. 169 00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:50,656 But watch out, because sometimes the travelers become the treats. 170 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,366 Whoa. 171 00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,619 - Can I keep this knife? - No. 172 00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:01,374 Eh. I prefer grapefruit LaCroix. 173 00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:04,669 Because of the volcanic activity below 174 00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:06,337 and the grapefruit orchard above, 175 00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:09,340 - this stream-- - Tastes just like grapefruit LaCroix. 176 00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:12,551 Call me when you have a Sierra Mist river. 177 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:15,137 Chimborazo, she is a dangerous slut. 178 00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,973 - Jeff, watch out. - [yelps] 179 00:09:16,974 --> 00:09:19,558 Sorry. I thought that tree behind you was a monster. 180 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:24,981 - Can I have this knife? - No, man. It's not, like, free knife day. 181 00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:28,150 I recently guided an artist from Pixar up the mountain. 182 00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:32,613 He was thinking of setting the next Pixar movie on Chimborazo. 183 00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:35,491 About a country alpaca that moves down the mountains 184 00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:38,828 and gets bullied by a bunch of mean city alpacas. 185 00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:43,458 Alpaca pillow to that movie, because it sounds like a snooze. 186 00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:53,175 Hello, Esmeralda. Klaus Heissler. 187 00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:58,055 I need to cancel all seven of the Zorb sessions that I booked. 188 00:09:58,056 --> 00:10:02,727 I'm sorry. You booked our non-refundable Zorb experiences. 189 00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:06,939 I can offer you a credit. You could use it for a helicopter tour, or-- 190 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,900 Look, hon, you're not dealing with some tourist schmuck. 191 00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:13,154 - I'm a travel agent. - You seem like a tourist schmuck. 192 00:10:13,155 --> 00:10:15,197 I just told you I wasn't one of those. 193 00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:17,783 Okay, that's it. Let's settle this like adults. 194 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:22,163 Adults inside Zorbs. I challenge you to a Zorb fight. 195 00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:23,831 I accept. 196 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:26,709 But only because I feel like humiliating a fish today. 197 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,377 Joke's on you. 198 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:32,382 Being humiliated by a beautiful woman is a huge turn-on for me. 199 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:37,053 Well, sure. This view is a little magnificent, I guess. 200 00:10:37,054 --> 00:10:39,263 Yeah, and I have to say, 201 00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:42,641 I didn't mind that meadow back there that smelled like fresh waffles. 202 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,895 Family meeting right now. I know what's happening. 203 00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:49,231 You're starting to have a good time. Well, knock it off. 204 00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:51,359 Climbing Everest was the dream, 205 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:54,570 and yet your father brought us to Chimbo-Crapo. 206 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,906 Right. Dad always does stuff like this, 207 00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:59,658 and we start having fun and let him off the hook, 208 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,369 but not this time, capisce? 209 00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:04,497 I could go for a capisce right now. 210 00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:07,208 Hungry? The mountain, she provides. 211 00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:09,002 This whole mountain is edible. 212 00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:10,878 Mmm. 213 00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,297 No. That's just dirt. 214 00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:19,845 - How is it? Bad, right? - Yeah. 215 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:24,518 Unless you're into perfectly cooked and seasoned meat that melts in your mouth. 216 00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:29,730 Oh, a cute little monkey. 217 00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:32,149 I think it looks like Richard Nixon. 218 00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:34,985 You're right. And probably just as big a liar. 219 00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:37,823 I'll bet he wants to take us off the gold standard too. 220 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,867 That was just a little joke nobody got. 221 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,662 I love you. 222 00:11:44,996 --> 00:11:46,665 [thunder rumbling] 223 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,211 Fear not. 224 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:55,714 The mountain, she will provide us shelter from the passing storm. 225 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,675 [imitating Vicente] Yes. Mother mountain. 226 00:11:57,676 --> 00:12:01,095 She will nestle us in the cleavage of her rock-hard tits. 227 00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:02,805 Ahhh! 228 00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:05,058 Chimborazo, she is a dangerous slut. 229 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:13,482 Where are we? 230 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:17,778 Inside a crystal geode that has grown within the mountain for eons. 231 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:21,407 Some call this the heart of Chimborazo. 232 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:25,411 I have to admit, I feel a little good. 233 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:28,581 It is believed that these crystals have healing powers. 234 00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:32,001 It's how I've managed to stay in such good shape 235 00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:34,463 even though I am 97 years old. 236 00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,841 Okay. I can't fight it anymore. 237 00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:41,135 I'm having a wonderful time. 238 00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:44,054 Oh, my God. Thank you. I love this mountain. 239 00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:45,764 But when we find your father, 240 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,184 we can't tell him that we enjoyed ourselves, okay? 241 00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:50,227 I'm still very mad at him. 242 00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:53,023 I mean, pretty mad. I think. 243 00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:54,690 I don't know. 244 00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:58,110 I feel so amazing in this [bleep] cave. 245 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:01,489 Come. The rain has passed. We must go. 246 00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:03,742 Too long in here, you turn into a baby. 247 00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:06,035 [Steve] Dad. 248 00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:08,746 Look who decided to climb the crappy mountain that no one likes 249 00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,664 to find the dad that everyone hates. 250 00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:13,417 You're alive. But you look terrible. 251 00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:15,044 This mountain is hell. 252 00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:17,588 I crossed a river of sulfur, bramble fields, 253 00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:19,381 and there were so many spiders. 254 00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:22,009 Sounds like you traveled through 255 00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:26,055 El Valle Azufre de Aranas y Zarzas. 256 00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:28,474 The Sulfurous Brambly Valley of Spiders. 257 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,684 I see you made a friend. That's fun. 258 00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:33,145 I met a pack of wolves that stole my shoes. 259 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:36,190 Stan, I'm sorry that you had a tough time. 260 00:13:36,191 --> 00:13:38,108 But that doesn't change the fact-- 261 00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:40,903 No. I will not stand for this. 262 00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:43,989 I must defend the honor of this broken man. 263 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:49,036 Everyone can tell he is a simple working man that makes very little money. 264 00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,871 I mean, I do all right. 265 00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:54,667 He tries his best to provide his family with fun, affordable vacation. 266 00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,418 And what do you people do? 267 00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:59,463 You complain about everything. 268 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:02,883 Yeah. Oh, man. I spit on my sandals. 269 00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:05,177 I can't lie. 270 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:08,764 The truth is we've had a wonderful time. 271 00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:13,060 - We love Chimborazo. - I've secretly treasured every moment. 272 00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:15,729 And I love this monkey! 273 00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:18,983 I can't wait to tell everyone I know about this place. 274 00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:22,528 Oh, yeah. Everybody is gonna hear about this mountain. 275 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:25,864 As soon as I have service, I'm gonna blow Instagram up. 276 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,200 - Click. - That's not a click. 277 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,536 This is a click. 278 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:33,956 - I'm partial to clacks myself. - Enough. 279 00:14:33,957 --> 00:14:35,874 Vicente, what are you doing? 280 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,876 I am doing my job. 281 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,254 My real job. 282 00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:43,340 You see, I am not actually a sexy waiter 283 00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:45,301 or a super-hot mountain guide. 284 00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:49,513 I am the protector of Chimborazo. 285 00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:51,265 [thunder rumbles] 286 00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:56,645 And as the protector of Chimborazo, I must kill you all. 287 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,356 Because I took a dump in that crystal cave? 288 00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:01,442 You did what? 289 00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:05,904 I must kill you to keep this sacred place from being ruined like Everest has been. 290 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,782 I won't let it be flooded with stupid tourists. 291 00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:13,912 And thus, your family cannot live to tell the tale of Chimborazo. 292 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:17,709 As we say in Ecuador, "Sowwy". 293 00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:25,299 Secret protector of the mountain? Boring. I've lost all interest. 294 00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,384 I was hoping his secret was something impressive, 295 00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:28,636 like he could blow himself. 296 00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,262 Where are you taking us, Vicente? 297 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,223 To El Culo del Diablo que Pica. 298 00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:35,643 The Devil's Itchy Butthole. 299 00:15:35,644 --> 00:15:38,562 Where I'm going to throw you into a pit of hot magma. 300 00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:41,231 We never would have told anybody about this place, 301 00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:43,150 until you made us fall in love with it. 302 00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:45,110 I always end up doing this. 303 00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:48,864 I feel compelled to show people the beauty of Chimborazo, 304 00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:51,325 and then I feel compelled to kill them. 305 00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:54,870 - Dad, do something. - Oh, I thought I couldn't do anything right. 306 00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:58,499 But now that you want me to save your lives, I'm Mr. Popularity. 307 00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,001 Well, okay. 308 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,754 So weak. 309 00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:07,676 Maybe from the many dozens of spider bites. 310 00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:13,890 Sure, sure. I know three of these are nipples, but it's still a lot. 311 00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:20,563 [screams] 312 00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:26,235 Phew. 313 00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:27,653 Okay. 314 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,988 I know we're supposed to be fighting, but that was-- 315 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,657 Amazing. 316 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,909 Where'd you learn to Zorb like that? 317 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,787 Every night, I have the same dream. 318 00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:39,498 And in the dream, I am Zorbing. 319 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,291 Same. 320 00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:45,129 I never thought I'd find someone that loves Zorbs as much as I do. 321 00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:48,007 I never thought I'd meet such a cute fish. 322 00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:51,844 I'm kissing. 323 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:54,680 I can't wait for you to meet my family when they get back with Vicente. 324 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:57,266 They're with Vicente? Oh, no. 325 00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,561 [♪ suspenseful music playing] 326 00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:05,315 The Devil's Itchy Butthole. 327 00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:08,110 A suitable end for those who would threaten 328 00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:11,447 the pristine beauty of Chimborazo. 329 00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:15,285 But we aren't. I swear. We would never-- 330 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,662 - My bad. - Dad's useless. 331 00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:20,706 So we need to do something about Vicente. 332 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:25,294 One thing I've noticed about Vicente, he is very horny for this mountain. 333 00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:28,672 [gasps] We can use his love of the mountain against him. 334 00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:31,633 Yeah. We'll trick him into showing us more and more of the mountain 335 00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:33,427 until we have a chance to escape. 336 00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:37,306 All right, Vicente, you might as well just go ahead and throw us in. 337 00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:41,101 We've seen all there is to see on old Chimborazo. 338 00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,729 [snickers] Oh! Far from it. 339 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:46,482 She's barely pulled up her dress for you. 340 00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:49,526 You're saying there's more to this beautiful mountain? 341 00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:54,407 Ah! I know I should just throw you in the magma. But... 342 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,792 [mouse chitters] 343 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,794 - Whoa. - It's incredible. 344 00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:11,673 These creatures are found only here, near the top of Chimborazo. 345 00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:15,970 You are one of the few outsiders to ever see them. 346 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,680 Wow. Cool bird. 347 00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:22,309 We call that one Feather Bent Squawkadelic. 348 00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:24,102 Wow. Cool name. 349 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:28,690 This sleeve of enchanted E.L. Fudges has got me feeling right as rain. 350 00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:33,445 I know he wants to kill us, but I kind of agree with Vicente. 351 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:36,657 It would be terrible if tourists ruin this mountain. 352 00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:38,784 Yeah, this place is special. 353 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:42,329 Well, well, well. Chimborazo, eh? 354 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:44,164 Not such a bad idea after all. 355 00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:47,668 Three cheers for Stan. Father of the year. 356 00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:49,754 Squawk, squawk, squawk! 357 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,804 [Francine] She really is quite the mountain. 358 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:02,307 She sure is. Wait a minute. I just remembered. 359 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,601 - We're about to get murdered. - It's always something. 360 00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:06,520 You can never just enjoy the moment. 361 00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:08,022 [chainsaw revs] 362 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:17,323 Pixar is back to make their alpaca movie. 363 00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:20,158 This ends now. 364 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:23,161 - Why don't you use your gun? - That's not a gun. 365 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:28,126 It is another amazing creature found only on Chimborazo. 366 00:19:31,546 --> 00:19:33,089 [screams] 367 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,091 This mountain is too important. 368 00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,427 We must join Vicente and fight for it. 369 00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:40,095 For Chimborazo! 370 00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:42,015 - [all exclaim] - [Roger] Squawk! Squawk! 371 00:19:43,141 --> 00:19:45,183 Let's beat up some nerds! 372 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:49,188 [all groaning] 373 00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:57,279 Next time you'll think twice before you mess with Pixar. 374 00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,073 [cackles] 375 00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:07,122 - Is that-- - Guys, I met someone. 376 00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,290 I'm in love. 377 00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:10,083 Abuelo! 378 00:20:10,084 --> 00:20:12,878 Esmeralda, Pixar is back. 379 00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:14,296 [gasps] 380 00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:16,799 [♪ thrilling music playing] 381 00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:22,680 [all scream] 382 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,934 - [all cheering] - Yeah. Suck it, Pixar. 383 00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:28,936 I misjudged this family. 384 00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:31,521 You are pure of heart and spirit. 385 00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:33,565 {\an8}You love this mountain as I do. 386 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,984 {\an8}I name you all henceforth 387 00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:39,404 {\an8}fellow protectors of Chimborazo. 388 00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:42,616 {\an8}- Thank you, Vicente. - Do we actually have to do anything? 389 00:20:42,617 --> 00:20:47,664 {\an8}With that Pixar movie shelved, Chimborazo shall remain a secret forever.