1
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:06,549
Is the new stove coming today?
Is it Stove Day?
2
00:00:06,549 --> 00:00:08,634
Merry Stove Day, Jeff.
3
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:11,262
And we're not getting
just any old stove.
4
00:00:11,262 --> 00:00:15,766
Le Bon Chaud is the fanciest
French stove money can buy.
5
00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:17,143
Ooh-la-la.
6
00:00:17,143 --> 00:00:18,853
You've heard of
Emily in Paris,
7
00:00:18,853 --> 00:00:20,896
but have you heard of Steve
in an apron?
8
00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:23,441
Did someone order a new stove?
9
00:00:23,441 --> 00:00:26,110
That cheap piece of crap's
not Le Bon Chaud.
10
00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:28,946
That European stove
you wanted was way overpriced.
11
00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:30,239
What the hell, Dad?
12
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,616
I invited Nerfer over
to make scrambled eggs.
13
00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:34,452
I'm gonna look like
a damn fool.
14
00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:37,997
Does anyone else
hear a loud hiss?
15
00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:42,251
Obviously just a stove snake.
Calm down.
16
00:00:42,251 --> 00:00:44,128
Huh. That hose
shouldn't be there.
17
00:00:57,183 --> 00:01:00,102
Hey, Candace. Yep.
Stan bought another appliance.
18
00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:01,437
Better send
the big ambulance.
19
00:01:01,437 --> 00:01:03,272
It's the whole family
this time.
20
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:09,069
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
21
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:12,656
♪ I got a feeling
That it's gonna be
A wonderful day ♪
22
00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:15,451
♪ The sun in the sky
Has a smile on his face ♪
23
00:01:15,451 --> 00:01:18,662
♪ And he's shining a salute
To the American race ♪
24
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:25,169
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
25
00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:27,213
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
26
00:01:27,213 --> 00:01:28,631
Ah!
27
00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:33,219
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
28
00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:37,765
{\an8}You are all very lucky.
29
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:40,351
{\an8}I have never
in my entire career
as a doctor
30
00:01:40,351 --> 00:01:42,853
{\an8}seen a family this severely
deprived of oxygen.
31
00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:46,065
{\an8}First day being a doctor,
so I've been saying
stuff like that a lot.
32
00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:48,442
{\an8}Okay, Smiths,
time for your diagnosis.
33
00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:52,112
{\an8}You're all going to live.
34
00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:56,158
{\an8}Wow. We almost died.
35
00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:58,702
{\an8}Yeah, it really puts things
in perspective.
36
00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:01,747
{\an8}We need to start living
our lives to the fullest
37
00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:04,083
{\an8}and do all the things
that we've been putting off.
38
00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:07,711
{\an8}I always wanted to try
the Tiny Tacos from
Jack in the Box.
39
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:10,089
{\an8}And you know what?
I'm gonna go for it.
40
00:02:10,089 --> 00:02:13,384
{\an8}I'm finally gonna start
wearing low-rise jeans,
41
00:02:13,384 --> 00:02:15,761
{\an8}even though Barry says
I don't have the ass for it.
42
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:18,931
{\an8}My whole life,
I've had a dream.
43
00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:21,559
It has captivated
my imagination,
44
00:02:21,559 --> 00:02:25,604
and enthralled me,
but it has also frightened me.
45
00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:29,900
Everest, the highest peak
on Earth.
46
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:33,320
The ultimate test
of human will.
47
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,447
Many have died trying.
48
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:40,327
But those who reach the summit
have achieved true greatness.
49
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:43,539
{\an8}As mountaineer
Sir Edmund Hillary said,
50
00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:47,334
{\an8}"It's not the mountain
we conquer but ourselves."
51
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,546
{\an8}Mine sounds stupid now.
52
00:02:50,546 --> 00:02:52,506
{\an8}- I wanna do Mom's thing.
- Yeah, me too.
53
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,216
{\an8}I want to get super high.
54
00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:57,052
{\an8}This family
is going to conquer
Mount Everest.
55
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:02,933
{\an8}In that case,
I'd better write you
a prescription for adventure.
56
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,980
{\an8}Isn't it wonderful how things
work out?
57
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,273
{\an8}You need to book a trip,
58
00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:13,152
{\an8}and it's the grand opening
of my travel agency.
59
00:03:13,152 --> 00:03:16,947
{\an8}Can I offer you
a water, coffee,
maybe a glass of champagne?
60
00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:18,824
{\an8}Lovely. I'll take all three.
61
00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:21,285
{\an8}You called my bluff.
I don't have any
of those beverages.
62
00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:25,289
{\an8}But what I can offer you
is the trip of a lifetime.
63
00:03:25,289 --> 00:03:29,877
{\an8}I've done my research, and
here's what an Everest climb
package costs.
64
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:32,546
{\an8}Wow. That's a lot.
But I could work some overtime
65
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,715
{\an8}and maybe look into
starting an OnlyFans account.
66
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,467
{\an8}Obviously, just tasteful solo
stuff.
67
00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:39,136
That's the per person charge.
68
00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:41,931
This is the whole enchilada.
69
00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:44,141
That enchilada
is too many tamales.
70
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:46,727
Don't panic.
Klaus has an alternative.
71
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,354
Thank goodness. What is it?
72
00:03:48,354 --> 00:03:51,523
Zorbing. Sport of the future.
73
00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:55,778
Klaus, focus. Maybe there's
a more affordable mountain
we could climb.
74
00:03:55,778 --> 00:03:59,239
This Mount Chimborazo
is really cheap.
75
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:02,618
- Not sure I can recommend--
- Chimborazo it is.
76
00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:03,994
Oh-ho!
77
00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:06,914
It says here that
because of the
equatorial bulge,
78
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:11,377
the summit of Chimborazo is
actually the closest point on
Earth to the sun.
79
00:04:11,377 --> 00:04:13,712
Of course,
the equatorial bulge.
80
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:16,382
That's super, because
I'm an OG bulge boy.
81
00:04:16,382 --> 00:04:18,592
Ride or die.
Bulge boys, mount up.
82
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:22,054
And I ain't exactly
complaining about
the proximity to the sun.
83
00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:27,059
Why are we flying
on Air Ecuador?
84
00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:29,728
Air Ecuador doesn't only fly
to Ecuador,
85
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:32,356
like how
Southwest doesn't only
fly to the southwest.
86
00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:35,359
And Virgin Air doesn't just
fly to your bedroom. Boom.
87
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:39,029
I'm not feeling my look today.
88
00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:41,991
You ever walk out of
the house and realize
you look like an idiot?
89
00:04:41,991 --> 00:04:43,492
I mean,
this guy knows how I feel.
90
00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:48,539
{\an8}You still haven't told
the family they're not
going to Everest?
91
00:04:48,539 --> 00:04:51,709
{\an8}I'm waiting for the perfect
moment. I'm thinking right
at the summit.
92
00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:54,378
{\an8}Well, good luck with that.
I'm gonna go hit on divorcees
93
00:04:54,378 --> 00:04:57,506
{\an8}in the glass-walled smoking
section that looks like
a futuristic prison.
94
00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:02,386
Well, I somehow
made it even worse.
95
00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:05,222
I am pumped for this.
I mean, it's Everest.
96
00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:07,016
Nothing else can compare.
97
00:05:07,016 --> 00:05:11,145
Technically, everything
can be compared.
That's how comparing works.
98
00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:14,189
Have you noticed that Dad's
acting a little weird?
Watch this.
99
00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:16,775
I sure am excited
to climb Everest.
100
00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:18,485
It's cool to be up
really high.
101
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:21,905
But it's more important,
at least to me, to be close
to the sun.
102
00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:24,199
Dad, why do you keep
talking about the sun?
103
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:26,577
I'm not doing that.
Hey, switching subjects.
104
00:05:26,577 --> 00:05:29,872
Did you know that
one million Earths
would fit inside the sun?
105
00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:32,207
Stan, what the hell
is going on?
106
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,501
{\an8}- We're going
to Everest, right?
- Klaus.
107
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:40,924
Well, I was gonna
wait for the summit,
but you ruined my surprise.
108
00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:43,927
We are going
to Mount Chimborazo.
109
00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:47,556
And the crowd goes wild.
110
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:50,642
Stan, I wanted
to go to Everest.
111
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:53,979
I wanted to stand
on the highest point.
112
00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:57,357
If you talk about
the sun one more time,
I will cut your tongue out.
113
00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:01,987
We almost died
and vowed to live life
to the fullest,
114
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:05,616
and you bring us
to Mount Chin-beard-rat-turd.
115
00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:07,993
Was it the money,
you damn cheapskate?
116
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:10,788
Dad, I hate you.
You're so annoying.
How dare you?
117
00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:15,084
All I wanted was
to get my family close to
the sun on a budget.
118
00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:17,336
Come on.
- I don't understand why
they're so mad.
119
00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:21,131
I almost suspect
they're unfamiliar
with the equatorial bulge.
120
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:28,931
We should probably hit
the sack. Gotta get up early
for our big climb.
121
00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:32,142
We are not climbing
that dinky little mountain.
122
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:34,269
Come on, kids.
Let's go get drunk.
123
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:37,439
That's "Bye, Felicia"
in Sherpa.
124
00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:38,857
Which I learned for nothing.
125
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:44,238
Everyone is being
so mean to me
about Chimborazo.
126
00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:46,824
Stan, we can still turn
this trip around.
127
00:06:46,824 --> 00:06:50,577
I took it upon myself
to book you all
a 5:00 a.m. Zorb.
128
00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:55,624
Someone has forgotten
what Zorbing is.
129
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,629
What's with this music?
130
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:03,632
Would it kill this dude
to play some Alice In Chains?
131
00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:08,053
Another round of drinks
for our foreign visitors,
132
00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:12,307
and I also made
little paintings
of each of you.
133
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,726
A souvenir of your trip.
134
00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:17,729
My God.
How do we get rid
of this dingleberry?
135
00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:20,232
{\an8}I don't know.
He's kind of got a cool style.
136
00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:23,652
If you need anything else,
don't hesitate to call
my name.
137
00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:25,445
Vicente.
138
00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:29,616
Are we really gonna climb
this lame-ass mountain?
139
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:34,037
No. You cannot climb
Chimborazo this time of year.
140
00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:37,624
Very dangerous.
Certain death.
141
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:41,003
Stan, did you know
this mountain was
a death trap?
142
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:42,713
Stan's gone.
143
00:07:42,713 --> 00:07:44,798
A few hours ago,
he up and left, mumbling,
144
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:48,677
"Screw the family.
I'm gonna climb Chimborazo
on my own."
145
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:55,517
We must go after your father
and find him before he meets
his death on the mountain.
146
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:59,438
Prepare yourself
for the climb.
We leave at dawn.
147
00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:00,981
Let's just leave now.
148
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:03,942
I hate going to bed
then having to get up
all groggy.
149
00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:05,736
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I totally agree.
150
00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:08,197
No, we leave at dawn.
151
00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:12,534
Dawn is when you leave
to climb a mountain, Jeff.
152
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:15,037
Vicente knows my name.
153
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:21,418
Ow! Hey, Vicente, are you
getting a lot of rocks
in your sandals?
154
00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:24,046
Yeah, me neither.
155
00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:28,759
I'm so annoyed your dumb
father is climbing this stump
of a mountain.
156
00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:32,346
You know, technically,
because of the
equatorial bulge--
157
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:41,355
Hey, I'm thirsty.
Did anybody bring any water?
158
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:42,814
Not to worry.
159
00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:45,609
Chimborazo has many treats
for travelers.
160
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:50,656
But watch out, because
sometimes the travelers
become the treats.
161
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,367
Whoa.
162
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,619
- Can I keep this knife?
- No.
163
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:01,375
Eh. I prefer
grapefruit LaCroix.
164
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:04,670
Because of the
volcanic activity below
165
00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:06,338
and the grapefruit
orchard above,
166
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:09,341
- this stream--
- Tastes just like
grapefruit LaCroix.
167
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:12,552
Call me when you have
a Sierra Mist river.
168
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:15,138
Chimborazo,
she is a dangerous slut.
169
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,974
- Jeff, watch out.
170
00:09:16,974 --> 00:09:19,559
Sorry. I thought that tree
behind you was a monster.
171
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:24,982
- Can I have this knife?
- No, man. It's not, like,
free knife day.
172
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:28,151
I recently guided an artist
from Pixar up the mountain.
173
00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:32,614
He was thinking of setting
the next Pixar movie
on Chimborazo.
174
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:35,492
About a country alpaca
that moves down
the mountains
175
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:38,829
and gets bullied by a bunch
of mean city alpacas.
176
00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:43,458
Alpaca pillow to that movie,
because it sounds
like a snooze.
177
00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:53,176
Hello, Esmeralda.
Klaus Heissler.
178
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:58,056
I need to cancel
all seven of the Zorb
sessions that I booked.
179
00:09:58,056 --> 00:10:02,728
I'm sorry. You booked
our non-refundable
Zorb experiences.
180
00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:06,940
I can offer you a credit.
You could use it for
a helicopter tour, or--
181
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,901
Look, hon, you're not
dealing with some
tourist schmuck.
182
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:13,155
- I'm a travel agent.
- You seem like
a tourist schmuck.
183
00:10:13,155 --> 00:10:15,198
I just told you
I wasn't one of those.
184
00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:17,784
Okay, that's it.
Let's settle this like adults.
185
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:22,164
Adults inside Zorbs.
I challenge you
to a Zorb fight.
186
00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:23,832
I accept.
187
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:26,710
But only because
I feel like humiliating
a fish today.
188
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,378
Joke's on you.
189
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:32,382
Being humiliated by
a beautiful woman
is a huge turn-on for me.
190
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:37,054
Well, sure.
This view is a little
magnificent, I guess.
191
00:10:37,054 --> 00:10:39,264
Yeah, and I have to say,
192
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:42,642
I didn't mind that meadow
back there that smelled
like fresh waffles.
193
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,896
Family meeting right now.
I know what's happening.
194
00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:49,232
You're starting
to have a good time.
Well, knock it off.
195
00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:51,360
Climbing Everest
was the dream,
196
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:54,571
and yet your father
brought us to Chimbo-Crapo.
197
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,907
Right. Dad always
does stuff like this,
198
00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:59,659
and we start having fun
and let him off the hook,
199
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,370
but not this time, capisce?
200
00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:04,498
I could go for
a capisce right now.
201
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:07,209
Hungry? The mountain,
she provides.
202
00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:09,002
This whole mountain is edible.
203
00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:10,879
Mmm.
204
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,297
No. That's just dirt.
205
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:19,846
- How is it? Bad, right?
- Yeah.
206
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:24,518
Unless you're into perfectly
cooked and seasoned meat
that melts in your mouth.
207
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:29,731
Oh, a cute little monkey.
208
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:32,150
I think it looks like
Richard Nixon.
209
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:34,986
You're right.
And probably
just as big a liar.
210
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:37,823
I'll bet he wants
to take us off
the gold standard too.
211
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,868
That was just
a little joke nobody got.
212
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,662
I love you.
213
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,212
Fear not.
214
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:55,715
The mountain, she will
provide us shelter from
the passing storm.
215
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,676
Yes. Mother mountain.
216
00:11:57,676 --> 00:12:01,096
She will nestle us
in the cleavage
of her rock-hard tits.
217
00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:02,806
Ahhh!
218
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:05,058
Chimborazo, she is
a dangerous slut.
219
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:13,483
Where are we?
220
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:17,779
Inside a crystal geode
that has grown within
the mountain for eons.
221
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:21,408
Some call this
the heart of Chimborazo.
222
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:25,412
I have to admit,
I feel a little good.
223
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:28,582
It is believed
that these crystals
have healing powers.
224
00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:32,002
It's how I've managed
to stay in such good shape
225
00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:34,463
even though
I am 97 years old.
226
00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,842
Okay. I can't
fight it anymore.
227
00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:41,136
I'm having a wonderful time.
228
00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:44,055
Oh, my God.
Thank you.
I love this mountain.
229
00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:45,765
But when we find
your father,
230
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,185
we can't tell him
that we enjoyed
ourselves, okay?
231
00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:50,228
I'm still very mad at him.
232
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:53,023
I mean, pretty mad. I think.
233
00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:54,691
I don't know.
234
00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:58,111
I feel so amazing
in this [bleep] cave.
235
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:01,490
Come. The rain has passed.
We must go.
236
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:03,742
Too long in here,
you turn into a baby.
237
00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:06,036
Dad.
238
00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:08,747
Look who decided to climb
the crappy mountain that
no one likes
239
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,665
to find the dad
that everyone hates.
240
00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:13,418
You're alive.
But you look terrible.
241
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:15,045
This mountain is hell.
242
00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:17,589
I crossed a river of sulfur,
bramble fields,
243
00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:19,382
and there were
so many spiders.
244
00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:22,010
Sounds like
you traveled through
245
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:26,056
El Valle Azufre
de Aranas y Zarzas.
246
00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:28,475
The Sulfurous Brambly Valley
of Spiders.
247
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,685
I see you made a friend.
That's fun.
248
00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:33,146
I met a pack of wolves
that stole my shoes.
249
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:36,191
Stan, I'm sorry that
you had a tough time.
250
00:13:36,191 --> 00:13:38,109
But that doesn't
change the fact--
251
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:40,904
No. I will not stand for this.
252
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:43,990
I must defend the honor
of this broken man.
253
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:49,037
Everyone can tell
he is a simple working man
that makes very little money.
254
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,872
I mean, I do all right.
255
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:54,668
He tries his best to provide
his family with fun,
affordable vacation.
256
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,419
And what do you people do?
257
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:59,464
You complain about everything.
258
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:02,884
Yeah. Oh, man.
I spit on my sandals.
259
00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:05,178
I can't lie.
260
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:08,765
The truth is we've had
a wonderful time.
261
00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:13,061
- We love Chimborazo.
- I've secretly treasured
every moment.
262
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:15,730
And I love this monkey!
263
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:18,984
I can't wait to tell
everyone I know
about this place.
264
00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:22,529
Oh, yeah.
Everybody is gonna
hear about this mountain.
265
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:25,865
As soon as I have service,
I'm gonna blow Instagram up.
266
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,201
- Click.
- That's not a click.
267
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,537
This is a click.
268
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:33,957
- I'm partial to clacks myself.
- Enough.
269
00:14:33,957 --> 00:14:35,875
Vicente, what are you doing?
270
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,877
I am doing my job.
271
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,255
My real job.
272
00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:43,341
You see,
I am not actually
a sexy waiter
273
00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:45,302
or a super-hot mountain guide.
274
00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:49,514
I am the protector
of Chimborazo.
275
00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:56,646
And as the protector
of Chimborazo,
I must kill you all.
276
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,357
Because I took a dump
in that crystal cave?
277
00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:01,443
You did what?
278
00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:05,905
I must kill you to keep this
sacred place from being ruined
like Everest has been.
279
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,783
I won't let it be flooded
with stupid tourists.
280
00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:13,913
And thus, your family
cannot live to tell the tale
of Chimborazo.
281
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:17,709
As we say in Ecuador,
"Sowwy".
282
00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:25,300
Secret protector
of the mountain? Boring.
I've lost all interest.
283
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,385
I was hoping his secret
was something impressive,
284
00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:28,637
like he could blow himself.
285
00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,263
Where are you taking us,
Vicente?
286
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,224
To El Culo del
Diablo que Pica.
287
00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:35,644
The Devil's Itchy Butthole.
288
00:15:35,644 --> 00:15:38,563
Where I'm going to throw you
into a pit of hot magma.
289
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:41,232
We never would have
told anybody about this place,
290
00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:43,151
until you made us
fall in love with it.
291
00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:45,111
I always end up doing this.
292
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:48,865
I feel compelled
to show people
the beauty of Chimborazo,
293
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:51,326
and then I feel compelled
to kill them.
294
00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:54,871
- Dad, do something.
- Oh, I thought I couldn't
do anything right.
295
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:58,500
But now that you want me
to save your lives,
I'm Mr. Popularity.
296
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,001
Well, okay.
297
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,755
So weak.
298
00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:07,676
Maybe from the many dozens
of spider bites.
299
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:13,890
Sure, sure. I know
three of these are nipples,
but it's still a lot.
300
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:26,236
Phew.
301
00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:27,654
Okay.
302
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,989
I know we're supposed
to be fighting, but that was--
303
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,658
Amazing.
304
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,910
Where'd you learn
to Zorb like that?
305
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,788
Every night,
I have the same dream.
306
00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:39,499
And in the dream,
I am Zorbing.
307
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,292
Same.
308
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:45,130
I never thought
I'd find someone that loves
Zorbs as much as I do.
309
00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:48,007
I never thought
I'd meet such a cute fish.
310
00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:51,845
I'm kissing.
311
00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:54,681
I can't wait for you
to meet my family when
they get back with Vicente.
312
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:57,267
They're with Vicente?
Oh, no.
313
00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:05,316
The Devil's Itchy Butthole.
314
00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:08,111
A suitable end
for those who would threaten
315
00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:11,448
the pristine beauty
of Chimborazo.
316
00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:15,285
But we aren't. I swear.
We would never--
317
00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,663
- My bad.
- Dad's useless.
318
00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:20,707
So we need to do something
about Vicente.
319
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:25,295
One thing I've noticed about
Vicente, he is very horny
for this mountain.
320
00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:28,673
We can use his love
of the mountain against him.
321
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:31,634
Yeah. We'll trick him
into showing us more
and more of the mountain
322
00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:33,428
until we have
a chance to escape.
323
00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:37,307
All right, Vicente,
you might as well just
go ahead and throw us in.
324
00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:41,102
We've seen all there is
to see on old Chimborazo.
325
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,730
Oh! Far from it.
326
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:46,483
She's barely pulled up
her dress for you.
327
00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:49,527
You're saying there's more
to this beautiful mountain?
328
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:54,407
Ah! I know I should
just throw you in
the magma. But...
329
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,795
- Whoa.
- It's incredible.
330
00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:11,674
These creatures
are found only here,
near the top of Chimborazo.
331
00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:15,970
You are one of
the few outsiders
to ever see them.
332
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,681
Wow. Cool bird.
333
00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:22,310
We call that one
Feather Bent Squawkadelic.
334
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:24,103
Wow. Cool name.
335
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:28,691
This sleeve of enchanted
E.L. Fudges has got me
feeling right as rain.
336
00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:33,446
I know he wants to kill us,
but I kind of agree
with Vicente.
337
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:36,658
It would be terrible
if tourists ruin
this mountain.
338
00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:38,785
Yeah, this place is special.
339
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:42,330
Well, well, well.
Chimborazo, eh?
340
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:44,165
Not such a bad idea after all.
341
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:47,669
Three cheers for Stan.
Father of the year.
342
00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:49,754
Squawk, squawk, squawk!
343
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,805
She really is quite
the mountain.
344
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:02,308
She sure is. Wait a minute.
I just remembered.
345
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,602
- We're about to get murdered.
- It's always something.
346
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:06,521
You can never just enjoy
the moment.
347
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:17,323
Pixar is back
to make their alpaca movie.
348
00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:20,159
This ends now.
349
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:23,162
- Why don't you use your gun?
- That's not a gun.
350
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:28,126
It is another amazing creature
found only on Chimborazo.
351
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,092
This mountain
is too important.
352
00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,428
We must join Vicente
and fight for it.
353
00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:40,096
For Chimborazo!
354
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:42,015
Squawk! Squawk!
355
00:19:43,141 --> 00:19:45,184
Let's beat up some nerds!
356
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:57,280
Next time you'll think twice
before you mess with Pixar.
357
00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:07,123
- Is that--
- Guys, I met someone.
358
00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,291
I'm in love.
359
00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:10,084
Abuelo!
360
00:20:10,084 --> 00:20:12,879
Esmeralda, Pixar is back.
361
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,935
- Yeah. Suck it, Pixar.
362
00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:28,937
I misjudged this family.
363
00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:31,522
You are pure of heart
and spirit.
364
00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:33,566
{\an8}You love this mountain
as I do.
365
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,985
{\an8}I name you all henceforth
366
00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:39,405
{\an8}fellow protectors
of Chimborazo.
367
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:42,617
{\an8}- Thank you, Vicente.
- Do we actually
have to do anything?
368
00:20:42,617 --> 00:20:47,664
{\an8}With that Pixar movie shelved,
Chimborazo shall remain
a secret forever.