1 00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:04,838 Rog, I'm 10 out. 2 00:00:04,872 --> 00:00:06,407 I'll scoop you, and then we're headed straight 3 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,609 to the Sharks Nest for some laser hockey, baby. 4 00:00:08,642 --> 00:00:11,312 Pew pew! My favorite sport! Can't wait. 5 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:12,546 Check this. 6 00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:14,148 We're sitting in the mayor's box. 7 00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:15,516 Dick's been moonlighting 8 00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:17,151 as Mayor Garfield's Chief of Security. 9 00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:18,652 Yeah, Dick, killing it! 10 00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:21,021 You're coming as your Pete Van Smash persona, right? 11 00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:22,523 You know it! Good. 12 00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:25,193 All the guys from work think Van Smash is a God. 13 00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:27,095 He loves sports, and he's always on the hunt 14 00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:28,829 for new awesome porn. 15 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,132 Van Smash always brings the fire. 16 00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:33,067 I'm going to slip into him right now. 17 00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:35,469 [ Ring tone plays ] 18 00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:36,804 Hell yeah. 19 00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:38,306 What up, blowhole? 20 00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:40,141 I hate to do this, but I got to flake on you 21 00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:42,009 for that laser game. What? 22 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,677 Why didn't you just tell me on the other line? 23 00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:47,148 Van Smash doesn't make other people take out his trash, bruh. 24 00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:49,083 I got to go. I'm about to get in an accident. 25 00:00:49,117 --> 00:00:50,118 [ Engine revs ] 26 00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,485 [ Glass shatters ] 27 00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:56,890 * Good morning, U.S.A. 28 00:00:56,924 --> 00:01:00,728 * I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day * 29 00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:03,864 * The sun in the sky has a smile on his face * 30 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:08,269 * And he's shinin' a salute to the American race * 31 00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:13,541 * Oh, boy, it's swell to say 32 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:16,009 * Good -- * Good morning, U.S.A. 33 00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:17,077 Aah! 34 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:21,715 * Good morning, U.S.A. 35 00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:24,585 Announcer: That's a laser goal! 36 00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:25,819 Three points! 37 00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:28,055 -Yeah! -Yeah, yeah! 38 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,458 How sweet is this box? 39 00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:32,092 Stan, where's Van Smash? 40 00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,262 He totally flaked. Oh, man. 41 00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:36,096 I bet he had something cool to do. 42 00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,766 He's probably being so funny right now. 43 00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:41,169 That's too bad. I wanted everyone here 44 00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:42,903 so I could share some good news. 45 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,439 With the extra money I'm making working for the mayor, 46 00:01:45,473 --> 00:01:48,041 I finally bought that boat I've been lusting after. 47 00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:50,110 The one that's been rusting in the Walmart parking lot 48 00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:51,479 for the last three years? 49 00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:53,947 Yep! But that's not the good news. 50 00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:56,284 If I had not moved out of my apartment 51 00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:57,885 and on to that boat, then I wouldn't have met 52 00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,487 the love of my life. 53 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,822 Meet Becky Tenderhearts. 54 00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,457 Goddamnit. 55 00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,226 I got to ask, how do you guys concentrate at work 56 00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:08,962 with this tub of hot roast beef slopping around? 57 00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,934 Francine, I came across a pretty troubling photo 58 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,937 from your bender last night. 59 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,439 Francine: Oh, God! 60 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:19,807 I made out with Tuttle? 61 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,310 -Ew! Mom! -Get it, Mrs. S! 62 00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:25,579 I wonder if I took a bite or ate the whole thing. 63 00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:28,015 I better pop a Plan B. 64 00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:31,419 Got you! It's Photoshop, baby! 65 00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,086 All: Ah! 66 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,623 [ Applause ] Too kind, too kind. 67 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,825 Little light on the cheering there, Klaus. 68 00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:39,627 Now, to more important matters. 69 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:40,894 What the hell, Roger?! 70 00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:41,895 You have to break up with Dick! 71 00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:42,963 I command it! 72 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,898 First, I'm not dating Dick. 73 00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:47,435 My persona, Becky Tenderhearts, is. 74 00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,002 Second, I'm not dumping him. 75 00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:50,304 Becky is in love! 76 00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:52,105 All: Aw! Yes. 77 00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:53,140 [ Applause ] 78 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,842 That is so sweet! 79 00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:56,844 It isn't sweet, Hayley. It's annoying. 80 00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:59,280 Roger ditched me, so there I was looking like 81 00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:01,849 an ass kneeling during the national anthem all alone! 82 00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:03,484 Relax. Every once and a while, 83 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:06,086 my characters schedules conflict, but don't worry. 84 00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:08,422 I don't see any other conflicts on the horizon. 85 00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:10,791 Good because you and I have a big 86 00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,860 Wheels and the Legman case to crack. 87 00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:15,496 The Legman is ready, and, Frannie, Hayley, 88 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,631 I'll be there as Jeannie Gold to help you plan 89 00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:19,032 Nerfer's bachelorette party. 90 00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:21,935 I can't believe Nerfer is settling down. 91 00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:24,071 She has such big tits! 92 00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:26,874 And Raider Dave and I are watching the game tomorrow. 93 00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:29,543 See, Stan? Plenty of Roger to go around. 94 00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:32,546 Now, if you'll excuse me, Becky has some planning to do. 95 00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:34,315 She's moving on to Dick's boat! 96 00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:37,084 Roger, that's a big step! 97 00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,387 Stop. It's just easier, Steve. 98 00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,322 Sure, Roger. That's the reason. 99 00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:42,923 Shut up, Steve! 100 00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:50,598 Oh, no, bro. 101 00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,300 That's my buddy Raider Dave's lucky seat. 102 00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,802 We're bonded in blood as citizens of Raider Nation, 103 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:56,704 and he's going to be here any second! 104 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,138 Awesome. Oh! 105 00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:00,007 Damn it, Roger. 106 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,875 Where are you? 107 00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:06,380 Jalapeño popper on the floor. Don't do it, Klaus. 108 00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:07,915 Oh, sick! 109 00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:10,718 I caught this right before it hit the ground! 110 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,987 The Raider game is about to start if anyone's interested! 111 00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:17,625 Who cares about football when we've got this beautiful sunset 112 00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:18,892 over the marina. 113 00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:21,762 [ Sniffs ] And that glorious smell? 114 00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,163 What is that smell, Dick? 115 00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:24,432 Dead seagull. 116 00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:27,067 Thank you for this life. 117 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,769 [ Both moaning ] 118 00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:34,174 Mom, Nerfer's bachelorette must be pirate themed! 119 00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:35,776 Nerfer loves pirates! 120 00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:39,012 That's why I've been saying we should go steampunk. 121 00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:42,616 It includes pirates but has some gadgets. 122 00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:45,553 If Roger were here, Jeannie Gold would tell you to listen 123 00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:47,254 to what the bride wants, 124 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,957 and Nerfer doesn't want future pirates! 125 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:53,093 Jeannie Gold would help me kick your ass 126 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:56,864 because she knows that steampunk isn't future! 127 00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:59,900 It's an alternate timeline where technology 128 00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,570 developed differently, you piece of shit! 129 00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:03,937 Aah! Aah! 130 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,374 [ Country music playing ] 131 00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:12,312 I love dancing barefoot here. 132 00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:16,617 I can feel the peanut shells crunch beneath my toes. 133 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,886 Hey! That guy pinched my ass. 134 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,889 He's going to eat some Dick fist. 135 00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:22,856 Ugh! 136 00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:25,158 [ Grunting, screaming ] 137 00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:27,294 Stop it! Dick, stop it. 138 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,329 That guy didn't really pinch my ass. 139 00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:30,631 [ Glass shatters ] Dick, this guy 140 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,766 just threw a glass at you. 141 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,002 Hey, Jeff. You here to ride Clip Clop? 142 00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:37,070 Every Tuesday at midnight. 143 00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:40,374 Clippy Cloppy, I've got a dirty carrot for... 144 00:05:40,408 --> 00:05:42,643 [ Gasps ] Oh, no. 145 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,011 Clip Clop's gone! 146 00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:50,951 As soon as I bang my gavel, you will be sentenced to death 147 00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:52,786 unless, of course, something crazy happens 148 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:54,522 in the next five seconds. Five, four... 149 00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:55,523 [ Door opens ] Steve: Wait! 150 00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:56,524 [ Crowd gasping ] 151 00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:58,325 This man is innocent! 152 00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,326 Who are you? 153 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:02,262 We're Wheels and... 154 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:03,797 Legman? 155 00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:06,834 He's supposed to be here with the evidence. 156 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,268 Oh, well. 157 00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:13,340 10,000 volts for Mr. No-Bicycle-Helmet here. 158 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:18,646 ** 159 00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:21,148 Do you think this is what Heaven's like? 160 00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:24,752 No. Heaven's got way more birds. 161 00:06:30,424 --> 00:06:33,661 The Smiths! As I live and breathe. 162 00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:34,695 What has it been, 163 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,564 10 years? Try a decade. 164 00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:39,232 We're having one of our famous all-family meetings. 165 00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:40,568 Say no more. 166 00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:43,571 I'll bring you each a glass of marinara. 167 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:47,340 I call this family meeting to order. 168 00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:50,077 Roger's relationship with Dick has consumed him. 169 00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,545 He's flaking on all of us! 170 00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:52,946 He's losing himself in Dick. 171 00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,381 We need to break them up. 172 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,017 But Roger will never break up with Dick. 173 00:06:57,050 --> 00:07:00,353 We need Dick to break up with him, but how? 174 00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:04,224 What if we bribe Dick with, I don't know, Kit Kats? 175 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,326 Klaus, I'm curious. 176 00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:07,561 Why not money? 177 00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:09,530 I'm curious, too, Steve. 178 00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,965 If I know one thing about Dick, 179 00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:14,468 it's that he hates getting cheated on. 180 00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:16,637 Is there anything there? Wait a second. 181 00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:20,207 Klaus recently became amazing at Photoshop. 182 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,477 He could make it look like Becky has been cheating on Dick. 183 00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:25,012 Is this true, Klaus? 184 00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:26,279 Is it true that you've recently 185 00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,715 become amazing at Photoshop? 186 00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:29,149 Let me put it this way. 187 00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:31,652 I've recently become amazing at Photoshop. 188 00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:32,920 Perfect. 189 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:35,623 On to our next order of business. 190 00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:38,158 Steven Smith is motioning that his new nickname 191 00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:40,460 is Bayou Billy With The Heavy Balls. 192 00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:41,461 All those in favor? 193 00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:42,996 All: Aye. 194 00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:45,933 Congratulations, Bayou Billy With the Heavy Balls. 195 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,737 On my way to work, 196 00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,705 I bought a bunch of new ropes for my boat. 197 00:07:51,739 --> 00:07:54,274 I'm talking really good ropes. 198 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,777 Damn, Dick. These sound like great ropes. 199 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,345 Please tell me you got pics. 200 00:07:58,378 --> 00:08:02,082 Better than pics, I have the ropes. 201 00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,551 They're here? 202 00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:05,152 Dick, I've been really happy for you 203 00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:06,787 over the last couple weeks, 204 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,256 over the Moon honestly, but you're my best friend. 205 00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:11,291 I am? For this situation, yes, 206 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,594 and I can't lie to my best friend. 207 00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:16,930 I was on the Googz doing some "I Feel Lucky" searches, 208 00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:19,733 and I stumbled across a pretty disturbing image. 209 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,636 I don't know. 210 00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:25,573 It's Becky, but this looks old. 211 00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:28,609 I'm not naive enough to think she never dated before me. 212 00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:33,113 Wait. Look at the guy holding the newspaper. 213 00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:34,514 "Two Days Ago"?! 214 00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:37,217 How could she?! 215 00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,626 Dick dumped me. 216 00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:46,827 He stomped on my heart 217 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,528 and wouldn't even tell me why. 218 00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:50,030 Do you think it was because I had to 219 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:52,332 stop sex once because I had a hair in my throat, 220 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,500 and when I finally got it out, 221 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,035 it was a whole eagle feather? 222 00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,905 [ Sobs ] 223 00:08:57,938 --> 00:08:59,773 Well, we did an underhanded thing, 224 00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:01,675 but I'd say it's pretty clear that life 225 00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:03,310 is going to go back to normal. 226 00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:06,680 I will never, ever get over this! 227 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,049 Oh, hey, Francine. 228 00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:11,351 I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay 229 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,186 after Becky's big breakup. 230 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:15,823 Oh, wasn't that so fun? She was devastated. 231 00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:17,725 What a great ending to her story. 232 00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,727 Whenever a character's story arc is over, 233 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,662 I vacuum seal their costume 234 00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,463 and store it in my character closet. 235 00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:24,965 One thing they don't tell you about these 236 00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,867 vacuum pouches is you can save a ton of money 237 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,869 by not buying the pump. 238 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,403 [ Inhales ] 239 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:33,707 One thing they don't tell you about these 240 00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:35,876 vacuum pouches is you can save a ton of money 241 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,144 by not buying the pump. 242 00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:40,580 [ Inhales ] 243 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,885 Well, I'm glad to see you're back to your old self. 244 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:48,188 How can Mr. Taffarelli not be an all-timer? 245 00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:50,390 He was so shy. 246 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,560 Good to have you back, Legman. 247 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,329 So I ran that hair we found at the scene of the crime. 248 00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,732 You know how we thought no man could kick that hard? 249 00:09:58,766 --> 00:09:59,900 We were right. 250 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,169 It was a kangaroo. 251 00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:04,371 You're a hell of a private... 252 00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:07,240 [ Sobbing ] Dick. 253 00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:10,944 Jeannie, I'm glad you're here 'cause last night, 254 00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:12,946 it hit me -- the perfect thing 255 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,148 for Nerfer's bachelorette party -- 256 00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:16,684 strippers! 257 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:19,720 Ooh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 258 00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:21,254 Are we talking full frontal? 259 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,422 Because I want to see some... 260 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:25,659 [ Sobbing ] Dick. 261 00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,696 We have fun. Don't we, Clippy? 262 00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:33,566 [ Grunting ] 263 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,135 Chargers are stupid. 264 00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:37,137 Raider Dave, get in here! 265 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,239 I'm not in the right head space. 266 00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,208 Just punch him in the balls for me. 267 00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:43,243 It's the area right under his... 268 00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:46,613 [ Sobs ] 269 00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,450 What are we doing at BDB's? 270 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,319 We only come here when there's a problem, 271 00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:53,653 and everything's fine. 272 00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,255 Roger, we need to talk. 273 00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:58,091 We think Becky's breakup with Dick is affecting you. 274 00:10:58,125 --> 00:10:59,492 Why would you think that? 275 00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:02,629 Because all of your characters are sad. 276 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,465 During our meeting, Jeannie Gold recommended a stripper 277 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:09,136 who only dances to Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car." 278 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,938 Jeff said Clip Clop cried. 279 00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,873 Now he thinks horses have human feelings 280 00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,742 and should be allowed to vote. 281 00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:18,111 [ Sniffles ] Becky was my most vulnerable persona. 282 00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:21,014 Her pain must be affecting my other characters. 283 00:11:21,048 --> 00:11:23,516 Oh, we would like to offer you our authentic 284 00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:25,685 Taste of Tuscany appetizer. 285 00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:28,588 Taste of Tuscany? Wait a second. 286 00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:31,391 Last year, my book club tried to force me to read 287 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:32,993 "Under the Tuscan Sun." 288 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,495 Luckily, I found out it was a movie just in time. 289 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:39,299 But it taught me a valuable lesson. 290 00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:42,035 If you're down, go to Tuscany, 291 00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:44,204 and you'll be magically fixed. 292 00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:46,840 Do you think Tuscany's magic can fix Becky? 293 00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:49,109 I do. Oh, yeah! 294 00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,044 -Oh, yeah! -Oh, yeah! 295 00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:52,512 -Oh, yeah! -Oh, yeah! 296 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:53,713 -Oh, yeah! -Oh, yeah! 297 00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:57,150 [ Italian music playing ] 298 00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:58,952 That house. 299 00:11:58,986 --> 00:12:00,754 Stop the bus. 300 00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:02,089 Stop the bus! 301 00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:09,396 Sad lady, I will teach you Italiana. 302 00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:12,232 Only then will you be able to stop the bus. 303 00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:15,969 ** 304 00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:35,856 [ Bird squawking ] 305 00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,024 [ Gasps ] 306 00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:46,599 [ Tires squeal ] 307 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,205 Good thing you learned Italian. 308 00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:58,979 ** 309 00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:01,548 Francine, wake up. Wake up! 310 00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:05,785 Last night, the most wondrous thing happened. 311 00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:07,554 I couldn't sleep, so I went into town, 312 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,422 and you remember that hunky single guy 313 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,059 who owns the Italian soda shop, Marioigi? 314 00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:13,760 No. 315 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,562 We've only been here for 12 hours. 316 00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:16,930 We fell in love! 317 00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,331 And we screwed! 318 00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:20,467 Bella, I love you! 319 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,701 I must go now. 320 00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:24,004 [ Moaning ] 321 00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:27,207 But then I realized I'm a strong, independent woman. 322 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,476 I don't need to be defined by a single man. 323 00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,244 -Ciao, bella. -Mi amore. 324 00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:32,913 -Principessa! -Mangia, mangia. 325 00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:34,414 -Mi amore! -Tutta bella! 326 00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:35,748 -Principessa! -Cara mia! 327 00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:37,150 -Ciao, bella! -Mangia, mangia, 328 00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,785 che ti fa bene! Mwah. 329 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,720 Did you sleep with all these... 330 00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:41,721 [ Horn beeps ] 331 00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:42,990 -Aye! -Oh! 332 00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:44,324 [ Horn beeping ] 333 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:46,559 [ All shouting in Italian ] 334 00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,361 You were right to bring me here. 335 00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:50,497 In Tuscany, I found the one thing 336 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,832 I was looking for -- me. 337 00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:55,602 I'm all better now. Let's cream out of here. 338 00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:58,105 [ Lasers firing ] 339 00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:00,941 Van Smash, how's it hanging?! 340 00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:03,043 To the left down my pants and up the other leg. 341 00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,245 Ha! If you speak true, 342 00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:08,848 then you must have the lengthiest of johnsons. 343 00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:11,084 Good to have you back, Van Smash. 344 00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:14,154 I'm glad you're here 345 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,623 because we've got another special guest, 346 00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:19,859 my new girl, Linda Vulnerabella. 347 00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:23,030 Black bra, see-through shirt, pure class. 348 00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:24,864 Chic, chic, chic. 349 00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:27,834 Like I always say, nobody who lives on a boat 350 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,636 can stay dry for long, 351 00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:32,639 and I mean that in two ways. [ Grunts ] 352 00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:34,041 How'd you two meet? 353 00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:37,377 We met [laughs] at the marina bait shop, 354 00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:38,711 and he took me to this bar called... 355 00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:41,348 Barnacles?! That was our bar! 356 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,051 I've never been to Barnacles with you, Van Smash. 357 00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,652 Yeah, Van Smash, 358 00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:48,521 what are you talking about, Van Smash? 359 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:49,990 Oh, yeah. I'm Van Smash. 360 00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,692 Um, Linda, what's your deal? 361 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,361 You like porn? You like Deadpool? 362 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,563 You like something else? Like all women, 363 00:14:56,596 --> 00:15:00,033 I enjoy the wit and wisdom of Chester Cheetah. 364 00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,402 Isn't she great? Mwah. 365 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:05,005 Did our time together mean nothing? [ Grunts ] 366 00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:07,074 Dick is always getting it in. Ah! 367 00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:09,176 I didn't realize you were such a womanizer! 368 00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:11,244 Ah! Womanizer? I hardly know her. 369 00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:13,380 Ah! You're a snake, Dick. 370 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,049 Ah! I'll show you a snake, my snake. 371 00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:18,918 Van Smash is hilarious. 372 00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:21,654 I had no idea he had a personality disorder. 373 00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:23,756 So funny! 374 00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:26,226 Sorry I had to whack you, little guy, 375 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,061 but hopefully you got some closure. 376 00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:29,729 Tomorrow, I'll take you to the laundromat 377 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,598 and let you ride around in the dryer. 378 00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,233 That always cheers you up. 379 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,835 Will you put a red sock in there with me? 380 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:37,504 Maybe I'll come out a little pink. 381 00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:38,938 No problem, buddy, 382 00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:40,440 but you're not going to turn pink. 383 00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:43,910 But maybe there's a tiny chance. 384 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,578 Maybe. Get some sleep. 385 00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,047 [ Smooches ] 386 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,284 [ Door closes ] 387 00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:52,652 Psych! 388 00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,321 I ain't going to sleep... 389 00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:57,924 until Dick pays for what he did. 390 00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:03,163 Sheesh, hope this hit man's better at shooting people 391 00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:04,631 than he is at being on time. 392 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:05,765 Oh, there you are. 393 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,600 Here it is. 394 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,136 I want him dead. 395 00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,671 Consider it done. 396 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:19,446 Back of the line, buddy. 397 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:20,647 I just need to check on him. 398 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:21,981 He kind of freaked out when he saw 399 00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:23,450 Dick with a new girl last night. 400 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:24,917 I don't think he's awake. 401 00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:26,653 I've been waiting an hour to update the Legman 402 00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,421 on the case of the unsolved mystery. 403 00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:29,789 Together: We're meeting Jeannie Gold 404 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,124 to sample pirate cakes. 405 00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:32,525 Something's wrong. 406 00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:35,395 I'm going in. Follow me if you dare. 407 00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,797 You came. You're braver than I thought. 408 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,599 Smith, thank God you're home. 409 00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:42,135 Last night, the world's most dangerous assassin 410 00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:45,305 landed in Langley. 411 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:49,142 He tried to go unnoticed, but he can't get by our boys. 412 00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:52,112 Our best guess is that he's been contracted to kill 413 00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:53,646 Mayor Garfield at his first annual 414 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,183 Mayor's Appreciation Parade. 415 00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:58,285 Want to know how we guessed it? 416 00:16:58,318 --> 00:16:59,786 More photos! 417 00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:02,222 [ Helicopter blades whirring ] 418 00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:03,523 I'll head there right away, sir. 419 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,158 No need. 420 00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:08,295 The mayor is safe because Dick is his head of security. 421 00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:11,298 I was just passing by on the way to steal lemons 422 00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,900 from the tops of all the farmer's trees. 423 00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:18,338 Okay, Miranda! It's lemon-snatching time! 424 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,973 I don't think Roger is planning on killing the mayor. 425 00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:22,342 He's planning on killing Dick. 426 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,443 Yeah, that was pretty obvious. 427 00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:24,811 That's what I would do. 428 00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:27,180 Well, maybe you will be surprised to learn 429 00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:28,915 that it's up to us to stop him. 430 00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,550 Again, totally expected. 431 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,119 Klaus already went downstairs to warm up the car. 432 00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:33,253 [ Cheering ] 433 00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:36,823 Everyone I ever loved is dead! 434 00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:43,530 ** 435 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,832 [ Tires squeal ] 436 00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:47,534 How the hell are we going to find Roger? 437 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,701 I have an idea. 438 00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:53,039 [ French accent ] What the hell did I do? 439 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,741 [ Cellphone rings ] 440 00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:55,975 [ Line ringing ] 441 00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:58,611 Hello, Mr. CIA. That's right. 442 00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:01,047 I know who you are, but you'll never find me. 443 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,682 Yes, I will. 444 00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:04,517 You shared your phone's location services with me 445 00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:07,420 that time you went roller blading on mushrooms. 446 00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:08,588 Damn it! 447 00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:09,589 Fly. 448 00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:11,224 Lead them to Atlanta. 449 00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,059 They'll totally believe I'm in Atlanta. 450 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,761 I've been dying to go. 451 00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:18,030 [ Door opens ] 452 00:18:18,064 --> 00:18:19,366 I'm in Atlanta. 453 00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:20,533 Roger, stop. 454 00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,369 Sorry, Mr. CIA. 455 00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:26,573 I was hired to finish job, and I always finish job. 456 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,874 You don't have to do this. 457 00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:30,109 We tricked Dick into dumping you. 458 00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:31,444 What? How? 459 00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,112 Klaus Photoshopped a photo 460 00:18:33,146 --> 00:18:34,481 of you cheating on him. 461 00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:35,715 We were annoyed at you for ditching us 462 00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,450 just so Becky could be with Dick. 463 00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:41,221 So we did something stupid, but Dick didn't do anything. 464 00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:43,089 Kill me instead! 465 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,457 No, no. Stop that. 466 00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:46,859 Knowing all this, it would seem silly to... 467 00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:48,127 Do it, Rogertilda! 468 00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:52,365 You dumbasses forgot one thing. 469 00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:55,034 Always check for a cage in the air. 470 00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:57,470 Welcome to Atlanta. 471 00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:01,140 Dick! 472 00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:02,909 You look trim. 473 00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:06,246 My secret, no bulletproof vest. 474 00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:09,316 Wait! I changed my mind. 475 00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:10,583 I don't want you to kill him. 476 00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:12,051 You can't change your mind. 477 00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:14,487 I have a strict "no-mind-changing" policy. 478 00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:15,488 But I love him! 479 00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:17,457 And I love my job. 480 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,891 Stop! 481 00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,294 You shouldn't have done that. 482 00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:22,795 You don't have to kill Dick. 483 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,096 Yes, I do. 484 00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:26,065 Every persona has a story to tell. 485 00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:28,601 But I don't want my story to end like this. 486 00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:30,303 Raider Dave! 487 00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:33,340 My story ends when I finish my job. 488 00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:40,280 [ Grunting ] 489 00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:41,981 Please! 490 00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:48,321 This ends now. 491 00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:54,461 No-o-o-o-o-o-o! 492 00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:55,628 [ Crowd gasping ] 493 00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:56,696 Becky! 494 00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:00,032 Becky, don't die. 495 00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:01,501 I love you. 496 00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:02,702 I'm so sorry. 497 00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:04,804 It's okay, Dick. 498 00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:07,006 This is how our story ends. 499 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,975 We'll always have Barnacles. 500 00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:09,976 No! 501 00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:11,378 No! 502 00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:14,046 Stay with me, Becky! 503 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,083 Just promise me one thing, Dick. 504 00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:19,452 Promise me you'll mourn me forever 505 00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:21,988 and never love anyone else. 506 00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:23,990 Uh, okay. 507 00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:26,559 And get a face tattoo of my face. 508 00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:28,661 That way, everyone will know you're taken. 509 00:20:28,695 --> 00:20:29,996 Shh. 510 00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:33,333 That's not a yes. 511 00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:34,834 I'm not dying until I hear a... 512 00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:36,703 [ Groans ] 513 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:41,240 [ Sobs ] 514 00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:44,677 Is anyone else thinking this was Roger's plan all along? 515 00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:46,178 Like, Dick was never in danger? 516 00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:47,914 Yeah. Roger is weird. 517 00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:49,816 What's shaking, blowholes? 518 00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:52,151 You guys want to go to my friend Brandon's funeral? 519 00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:54,053 Dude bit it in an ATV accident. 520 00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:55,522 They're getting a taco truck. 521 00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:57,023 There's going to be tons of chicks there. 522 00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:59,826 I'm down if Bayou Billy With The Heavy Balls is. 523 00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:02,161 Oh, yeah! 524 00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:04,397 Bye. Have a beautiful time!