1 00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:06,754 Is the new stove coming today? Is it Stove Day? 2 00:00:06,755 --> 00:00:08,798 Merry Stove Day, Jeff. 3 00:00:08,799 --> 00:00:11,467 And we're not getting just any old stove. 4 00:00:11,468 --> 00:00:15,972 Le Bon Chaud is the fanciest French stove money can buy. 5 00:00:15,973 --> 00:00:17,348 Ooh-la-la. 6 00:00:17,349 --> 00:00:21,102 You've heard of Emily in Paris, but have you heard of Steve in an apron? 7 00:00:21,103 --> 00:00:23,521 {\an8}Did someone order a new stove? 8 00:00:23,522 --> 00:00:26,274 {\an8}That cheap piece of crap's not Le Bon Chaud. 9 00:00:26,275 --> 00:00:29,110 {\an8}That European stove you wanted was way overpriced. 10 00:00:29,111 --> 00:00:30,403 {\an8}What the hell, Dad? 11 00:00:30,404 --> 00:00:32,822 {\an8}I invited Nerfer over to make scrambled eggs. 12 00:00:32,823 --> 00:00:34,658 {\an8}I'm gonna look like a damn fool. 13 00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:38,204 Does anyone else hear a loud hiss? 14 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:42,498 Obviously just a stove snake. Calm down. 15 00:00:42,499 --> 00:00:44,334 Huh. That hose shouldn't be there. 16 00:00:57,390 --> 00:01:00,308 Hey, Candace. Yep, Stan bought another appliance. 17 00:01:00,309 --> 00:01:03,437 Better send the big ambulance. It's the whole family this time. 18 00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:09,275 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 19 00:01:09,276 --> 00:01:12,862 ♪ I got a feeling That it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 20 00:01:12,863 --> 00:01:15,615 ♪ The sun in the sky Has a smile on his face ♪ 21 00:01:15,616 --> 00:01:19,370 ♪ And he's shining a salute To the American race ♪ 22 00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:25,333 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 23 00:01:25,334 --> 00:01:27,752 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 24 00:01:27,753 --> 00:01:28,838 Ah! 25 00:01:30,673 --> 00:01:33,467 {\an8}♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 26 00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:37,845 {\an8}You are all very lucky. 27 00:01:37,846 --> 00:01:40,556 {\an8}I have never in my entire career as a doctor 28 00:01:40,557 --> 00:01:43,017 {\an8}seen a family this severely deprived of oxygen. 29 00:01:43,018 --> 00:01:46,270 {\an8}First day being a doctor, so I've been saying stuff like that a lot. 30 00:01:46,271 --> 00:01:48,650 {\an8}Okay, Smiths, time for your diagnosis. 31 00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:52,319 {\an8}You're all going to... live! 32 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:56,364 {\an8}Wow. We almost died. 33 00:01:56,365 --> 00:01:58,866 {\an8}Yeah, it really puts things in perspective. 34 00:01:58,867 --> 00:02:01,702 {\an8}We need to start living our lives to the fullest 35 00:02:01,703 --> 00:02:04,247 {\an8}and do all the things that we've been putting off. 36 00:02:04,248 --> 00:02:07,917 {\an8}I've always wanted to try the Tiny Tacos from Jack in the Box. 37 00:02:07,918 --> 00:02:10,253 {\an8}And you know what? I'm gonna go for it. 38 00:02:10,254 --> 00:02:13,339 {\an8}I'm finally gonna start wearing low-rise jeans, 39 00:02:13,340 --> 00:02:15,925 {\an8}even though Barry says I don't have the ass for it. 40 00:02:15,926 --> 00:02:18,928 {\an8}My whole life, I've had a dream. 41 00:02:18,929 --> 00:02:23,307 It has captivated my imagination, and enthralled me, 42 00:02:23,308 --> 00:02:25,812 but it has also frightened me. 43 00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:30,064 Everest, the highest peak on Earth. 44 00:02:30,065 --> 00:02:33,359 The ultimate test of human will. 45 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,444 Many have died trying. 46 00:02:35,445 --> 00:02:40,158 But those who reach the summit have achieved true greatness. 47 00:02:40,159 --> 00:02:43,744 {\an8}As mountaineer Sir Edmund Hillary said, 48 00:02:43,745 --> 00:02:47,542 {\an8}"It's not the mountain we conquer but ourselves." 49 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,501 {\an8}Hmm. Mine sounds stupid now. 50 00:02:50,502 --> 00:02:52,670 {\an8}- I wanna do Mom's thing. - Yeah, me too. 51 00:02:52,671 --> 00:02:54,380 {\an8}I want to get super high. 52 00:02:54,381 --> 00:02:57,217 {\an8}This family is going to conquer Mount Everest. 53 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:03,140 {\an8}In that case, I'd better write you a prescription for adventure. 54 00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:08,186 {\an8}Isn't it wonderful how things work out? 55 00:03:08,187 --> 00:03:09,478 {\an8}You need to book a trip, 56 00:03:09,479 --> 00:03:13,316 {\an8}and it's the grand opening of my travel agency. 57 00:03:13,317 --> 00:03:17,111 {\an8}Can I offer you a water, coffee, maybe a glass of champagne? 58 00:03:17,112 --> 00:03:18,821 {\an8}Lovely. I'll take all three. 59 00:03:18,822 --> 00:03:21,490 {\an8}You called my bluff. I don't have any of those beverages. 60 00:03:21,491 --> 00:03:25,494 {\an8}But what I can offer you is the trip of a lifetime. 61 00:03:25,495 --> 00:03:26,746 {\an8}I've done my research, 62 00:03:26,747 --> 00:03:29,957 {\an8}and here's what an Everest climb package costs. 63 00:03:29,958 --> 00:03:32,460 {\an8}Wow. That's a lot. But I could work some overtime 64 00:03:32,461 --> 00:03:34,712 {\an8}and maybe look into starting an OnlyFans account. 65 00:03:34,713 --> 00:03:36,631 Obviously, just tasteful solo stuff. 66 00:03:36,632 --> 00:03:39,342 That's the per person charge. 67 00:03:39,343 --> 00:03:41,802 This is the whole enchilada. 68 00:03:41,803 --> 00:03:44,347 That enchilada is too many tamales. 69 00:03:44,348 --> 00:03:46,807 Don't panic. Klaus has an alternative. 70 00:03:46,808 --> 00:03:48,517 Oh, thank goodness. What is it? 71 00:03:48,518 --> 00:03:51,687 Zorbing. Sport of the future. 72 00:03:51,688 --> 00:03:52,772 Klaus, focus. 73 00:03:52,773 --> 00:03:55,942 Maybe there's a more affordable mountain we could climb. 74 00:03:55,943 --> 00:03:59,445 This Mount Chimborazo is really cheap. 75 00:03:59,446 --> 00:04:00,988 Not sure I can recommend-- 76 00:04:00,989 --> 00:04:02,698 Chimborazo it is. 77 00:04:02,699 --> 00:04:06,911 Oh-ho! It says here that because of the equatorial bulge, 78 00:04:06,912 --> 00:04:11,540 the summit of Chimborazo is actually the closest point on Earth to the sun. 79 00:04:11,541 --> 00:04:13,876 Of course, the equatorial bulge. 80 00:04:13,877 --> 00:04:16,504 That's super, because I'm an OG bulge boy. 81 00:04:16,505 --> 00:04:18,756 Ride or die. Bulge boys, mount up. 82 00:04:18,757 --> 00:04:22,303 And I ain't exactly complaining about the proximity to the sun. 83 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:29,225 Why are we flying on Air Ecuador? 84 00:04:29,226 --> 00:04:31,811 Air Ecuador doesn't only fly to Ecuador, 85 00:04:31,812 --> 00:04:34,563 like how Southwest doesn't only fly to the southwest. 86 00:04:34,564 --> 00:04:37,568 And Virgin Air doesn't just fly to your bedroom. Boom! 87 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:41,028 I'm not feeling my look today. 88 00:04:41,029 --> 00:04:44,115 You ever walk out of the house and realize you look like an idiot? 89 00:04:44,116 --> 00:04:45,910 I mean, this guy knows how I feel. 90 00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:50,621 You still haven't told the family they're not going to Everest? 91 00:04:50,622 --> 00:04:53,833 I'm waiting for the perfect moment. I'm thinking right at the summit. 92 00:04:53,834 --> 00:04:55,084 Well, good luck with that. 93 00:04:55,085 --> 00:04:58,379 I'm gonna go hit on divorcées in the glass-walled smoking section 94 00:04:58,380 --> 00:05:00,300 that looks like a futuristic prison. 95 00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,385 Well, I somehow made it even worse. 96 00:05:04,386 --> 00:05:05,720 I am pumped for this. 97 00:05:05,721 --> 00:05:08,681 I mean, it's Everest. Nothing else can compare. 98 00:05:08,682 --> 00:05:11,183 Technically, everything can be compared. 99 00:05:11,184 --> 00:05:13,102 That's how comparing works. 100 00:05:13,103 --> 00:05:16,397 Have you noticed that Dad's acting a little weird? Watch this. 101 00:05:16,398 --> 00:05:18,983 I sure am excited to climb Everest. 102 00:05:18,984 --> 00:05:20,651 It's cool to be up really high. 103 00:05:20,652 --> 00:05:23,904 But it's more important, at least to me, to be close to the sun. 104 00:05:23,905 --> 00:05:26,282 Dad, why do you keep talking about the sun? 105 00:05:26,283 --> 00:05:28,701 I'm not doing that. Hey, switching subjects. 106 00:05:28,702 --> 00:05:31,954 Did you know that one million Earths would fit inside the sun? 107 00:05:31,955 --> 00:05:34,415 Stan, what the hell is going on? 108 00:05:34,416 --> 00:05:36,668 - We're going to Everest, right? - Klaus. 109 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:43,049 Well, I was gonna wait for the summit, but you ruined my surprise. 110 00:05:43,050 --> 00:05:46,094 We are going to Mount Chimborazo. 111 00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:49,347 And the crowd goes wild. 112 00:05:49,348 --> 00:05:52,850 Stan, I wanted to go to Everest. 113 00:05:52,851 --> 00:05:55,936 I wanted to stand on the highest point. 114 00:05:55,937 --> 00:05:59,440 If you talk about the sun one more time, I will cut your tongue out. 115 00:05:59,441 --> 00:06:04,195 We almost died and vowed to live life to the fullest, 116 00:06:04,196 --> 00:06:07,740 and you bring us to Mount Chin-beard-rat-turd. 117 00:06:07,741 --> 00:06:10,117 Was it the money, you damn cheapskate? 118 00:06:10,118 --> 00:06:11,869 - Dad, I hate you. - You're so annoying. 119 00:06:11,870 --> 00:06:12,953 How dare you? 120 00:06:12,954 --> 00:06:16,999 All I wanted was to get my family close to the sun on a budget. 121 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,502 - Oh, come on. - I don't understand why they're so mad. 122 00:06:19,503 --> 00:06:23,548 I almost suspect they're unfamiliar with the equatorial bulge. 123 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:31,138 We should probably hit the sack. Gotta get up early for our big climb. 124 00:06:31,139 --> 00:06:34,350 We are not climbing that dinky little mountain. 125 00:06:34,351 --> 00:06:37,395 Come on, kids. Let's go get drunk. Khole Phep. 126 00:06:37,396 --> 00:06:39,647 That's "Bye, Felicia" in Sherpa. 127 00:06:39,648 --> 00:06:41,274 Which I learned for nothing! 128 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,405 Everyone is being so mean to me about Chimborazo. 129 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,864 Stan, we can still turn this trip around. 130 00:06:48,865 --> 00:06:52,787 I took it upon myself to book you all a 5:00 a.m. Zorb. 131 00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:57,666 Someone has forgotten what Zorbing is. 132 00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,628 What's with this music? 133 00:07:02,629 --> 00:07:05,840 Would it kill this dude to play some Alice In Chains? 134 00:07:05,841 --> 00:07:10,261 Another round of drinks for our foreign visitors, 135 00:07:10,262 --> 00:07:14,473 and I also made little paintings of each of you. 136 00:07:14,474 --> 00:07:16,892 A souvenir of your trip. 137 00:07:16,893 --> 00:07:19,937 My God. How do we get rid of this dingleberry? 138 00:07:19,938 --> 00:07:22,398 I don't know. He's kind of got a cool style. 139 00:07:22,399 --> 00:07:26,360 If you need anything else, don't hesitate to call my name. 140 00:07:26,361 --> 00:07:27,655 Vicente. 141 00:07:29,073 --> 00:07:31,657 Are we really gonna climb this lame-ass mountain? 142 00:07:31,658 --> 00:07:35,703 Oh, no. You cannot climb Chimborazo this time of year. 143 00:07:35,704 --> 00:07:39,790 Very dangerous. Certain death. 144 00:07:39,791 --> 00:07:43,627 Stan, did you know this mountain was a death trap? 145 00:07:43,628 --> 00:07:46,797 Stan's gone. A few hours ago, he up and left, mumbling, 146 00:07:46,798 --> 00:07:50,552 "Screw the family. I'm gonna climb Chimborazo on my own." 147 00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:57,725 We must go after your father and find him before he meets his death on the mountain. 148 00:07:57,726 --> 00:08:01,604 Prepare yourself for the climb. We leave at dawn. 149 00:08:01,605 --> 00:08:03,105 Let's just leave now. 150 00:08:03,106 --> 00:08:06,025 I hate going to bed then having to get up all groggy. 151 00:08:06,026 --> 00:08:07,276 - Yeah. - Yeah, I totally agree. 152 00:08:07,277 --> 00:08:10,404 - Uh-huh. - No, we leave at dawn. 153 00:08:10,405 --> 00:08:14,492 Dawn is when you leave to climb a mountain, Jeff. 154 00:08:14,493 --> 00:08:17,288 Vicente knows my name! 155 00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:22,708 Ow! 156 00:08:22,709 --> 00:08:26,212 Hey, Vicente, are you getting a lot of rocks in your sandals? 157 00:08:26,213 --> 00:08:28,130 Ugh. Yeah, me neither. 158 00:08:28,131 --> 00:08:32,801 I'm so annoyed your dumb father is climbing this stump of a mountain. 159 00:08:32,802 --> 00:08:36,348 You know, technically, because of the equatorial bulge-- 160 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,523 Hey, I'm thirsty. Did anybody bring any water? 161 00:08:45,524 --> 00:08:49,777 Not to worry. Chimborazo has many treats for travelers. 162 00:08:49,778 --> 00:08:54,909 But watch out, because sometimes the travelers become the treats. 163 00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:57,576 Whoa. 164 00:08:57,577 --> 00:08:59,914 - Can I keep this knife? - No. 165 00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:05,543 Eh. I prefer grapefruit LaCroix. 166 00:09:05,544 --> 00:09:08,254 Because of the volcanic activity below 167 00:09:08,255 --> 00:09:11,465 and the grapefruit orchard above, this stream... 168 00:09:11,466 --> 00:09:13,509 Tastes just like grapefruit LaCroix! 169 00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:15,930 Call me when you have a Sierra Mist river. 170 00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:19,265 Chimborazo, she is a dangerous slut. 171 00:09:19,266 --> 00:09:21,016 Jeff, watch out. 172 00:09:21,017 --> 00:09:23,686 Sorry. I thought that tree behind you was a monster. 173 00:09:23,687 --> 00:09:25,145 Can I have this knife? 174 00:09:25,146 --> 00:09:28,192 No, man. It's not, like, free knife day. 175 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:32,319 I recently guided an artist from Pixar up the mountain. 176 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:35,992 He was thinking of setting the next Pixar movie on Chimborazo. 177 00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:39,535 About a country alpaca that moves down the mountains 178 00:09:39,536 --> 00:09:43,038 and gets bullied by a bunch of mean city alpacas. 179 00:09:43,039 --> 00:09:47,670 Alpaca pillow to that movie, because it sounds like a snooze. 180 00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:57,303 Hello, Esmeralda. Klaus Heissler. 181 00:09:57,304 --> 00:10:02,099 I need to cancel all seven of the Zorb sessions that I booked. 182 00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:03,475 I'm sorry. 183 00:10:03,476 --> 00:10:06,770 You booked our non-refundable Zorb experiences. 184 00:10:06,771 --> 00:10:08,480 I can offer you a credit. 185 00:10:08,481 --> 00:10:10,899 You could use it for a helicopter tour, or-- 186 00:10:10,900 --> 00:10:14,111 Look, hon, you're not dealing with some tourist schmuck. 187 00:10:14,112 --> 00:10:17,323 {\an8}- I'm a travel agent. - You seem like a tourist schmuck. 188 00:10:17,324 --> 00:10:19,325 I just told you I wasn't one of those. 189 00:10:19,326 --> 00:10:21,910 Okay, that's it. Let's settle this like adults. 190 00:10:21,911 --> 00:10:24,079 Adults inside Zorbs. 191 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,332 I challenge you to a Zorb fight. 192 00:10:26,333 --> 00:10:28,000 I accept. 193 00:10:28,001 --> 00:10:30,794 But only because I feel like humiliating a fish today. 194 00:10:30,795 --> 00:10:32,254 Joke's on you. 195 00:10:32,255 --> 00:10:36,677 Being humiliated by a beautiful woman is a huge turn-on for me. 196 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:41,221 Well, sure. This view is a little magnificent, I guess. 197 00:10:41,222 --> 00:10:43,307 Yeah, and I have to say, 198 00:10:43,308 --> 00:10:46,852 I didn't mind that meadow back there that smelled like fresh waffles. 199 00:10:46,853 --> 00:10:48,395 Family meeting right now. 200 00:10:48,396 --> 00:10:51,899 I know what's happening. You're starting to have a good time. 201 00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:53,400 Well, knock it off. 202 00:10:53,401 --> 00:10:55,486 Climbing Everest was the dream, 203 00:10:55,487 --> 00:10:58,781 and yet your father brought us to Chimbo-Crapo. 204 00:10:58,782 --> 00:11:01,116 Right. Dad always does stuff like this, 205 00:11:01,117 --> 00:11:03,869 and we start having fun and let him off the hook, 206 00:11:03,870 --> 00:11:05,579 but not this time, capisce? 207 00:11:05,580 --> 00:11:08,666 Ooh, I could go for a capisce right now. 208 00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:11,335 Hungry? The mountain, she provides. 209 00:11:11,336 --> 00:11:13,671 This whole mountain is edible. 210 00:11:13,672 --> 00:11:14,755 Mmm. 211 00:11:14,756 --> 00:11:16,466 No. That's just dirt. 212 00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:22,763 How is it? Bad, right? 213 00:11:22,764 --> 00:11:24,056 Yeah... 214 00:11:24,057 --> 00:11:27,226 unless you're into perfectly cooked and seasoned meat 215 00:11:27,227 --> 00:11:28,729 that melts in your mouth. 216 00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:33,899 Oh, a cute little monkey. 217 00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:36,360 I think it looks like Richard Nixon. 218 00:11:36,361 --> 00:11:39,029 You're right. And probably just as big a liar. 219 00:11:39,030 --> 00:11:41,826 I'll bet he wants to take us off the gold standard too. 220 00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:45,994 That was just a little joke nobody got. 221 00:11:45,995 --> 00:11:48,124 Mm, I love you. 222 00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:55,754 Fear not. 223 00:11:55,755 --> 00:11:59,883 The mountain, she will provide us shelter from the passing storm. 224 00:11:59,884 --> 00:12:02,052 Oh, yes. Mother Mountain. 225 00:12:02,053 --> 00:12:05,097 She will nestle us in the cleavage of her rock-hard tits. 226 00:12:05,098 --> 00:12:06,932 Ahh! 227 00:12:06,933 --> 00:12:09,395 Chimborazo, she is a dangerous slut. 228 00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:17,025 Where are we? 229 00:12:17,026 --> 00:12:18,902 Inside a crystal geode 230 00:12:18,903 --> 00:12:22,197 that has grown within the mountain for eons. 231 00:12:22,198 --> 00:12:25,492 Some call this the heart of Chimborazo. 232 00:12:25,493 --> 00:12:29,580 I have to admit, I feel a little... good. 233 00:12:29,581 --> 00:12:32,958 It is believed that these crystals have healing powers. 234 00:12:32,959 --> 00:12:36,128 It's how I've managed to stay in such good shape 235 00:12:36,129 --> 00:12:38,632 even though I am 97 years old. 236 00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:42,885 Okay. I can't fight it anymore. 237 00:12:42,886 --> 00:12:45,220 I'm having a wonderful time! 238 00:12:45,221 --> 00:12:48,140 Oh, my God. Thank you. I love this mountain. 239 00:12:48,141 --> 00:12:49,767 But when we find your father, 240 00:12:49,768 --> 00:12:52,352 we can't tell him that we enjoyed ourselves, okay? 241 00:12:52,353 --> 00:12:54,438 I'm still very mad at him. 242 00:12:54,439 --> 00:12:56,565 I mean, pretty mad. 243 00:12:56,566 --> 00:12:57,733 I think. 244 00:12:57,734 --> 00:12:58,901 I don't know. 245 00:12:58,902 --> 00:13:02,279 I feel so amazing in this [bleep] cave. 246 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:05,616 Come. The rain has passed. We must go. 247 00:13:05,617 --> 00:13:08,076 Too long in here, you turn into a baby. 248 00:13:08,077 --> 00:13:09,703 Dad! 249 00:13:09,704 --> 00:13:12,956 Look who decided to climb the crappy mountain that no one likes 250 00:13:12,957 --> 00:13:14,875 to find the dad that everyone hates. 251 00:13:14,876 --> 00:13:16,001 You're alive! 252 00:13:16,002 --> 00:13:17,586 But you look terrible. 253 00:13:17,587 --> 00:13:19,087 This mountain is hell. 254 00:13:19,088 --> 00:13:21,799 I crossed a river of sulfur, bramble fields, 255 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,550 and there were so many spiders. 256 00:13:23,551 --> 00:13:30,140 Sounds like you traveled through El Valle Azufre de Arañas y Zarzas. 257 00:13:30,141 --> 00:13:32,643 The Sulfurous Brambly Valley of Spiders. 258 00:13:32,644 --> 00:13:34,895 Oh, I see you made a friend. That's fun. 259 00:13:34,896 --> 00:13:37,314 I met a pack of wolves that stole my shoes. 260 00:13:37,315 --> 00:13:40,359 Stan, I'm sorry that you had a tough time. 261 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:42,319 But that doesn't change the fact-- 262 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:45,113 No! I will not stand for this. 263 00:13:45,114 --> 00:13:48,075 I must defend the honor of this broken man. 264 00:13:48,076 --> 00:13:51,620 Everyone can tell he is a simple working man 265 00:13:51,621 --> 00:13:53,372 that makes very little money. 266 00:13:53,373 --> 00:13:54,456 I mean, I do all right. 267 00:13:54,457 --> 00:13:58,877 He tries his best to provide his family with fun, affordable vacation, 268 00:13:58,878 --> 00:14:00,587 and what do you people do? 269 00:14:00,588 --> 00:14:03,632 You complain about everything! 270 00:14:03,633 --> 00:14:05,008 Yeah. 271 00:14:05,009 --> 00:14:06,927 Oh, man, I spit on my sandals. 272 00:14:06,928 --> 00:14:09,263 Oh, I can't lie. 273 00:14:09,264 --> 00:14:12,891 The truth is, we've had a wonderful time. 274 00:14:12,892 --> 00:14:14,893 We love Chimborazo. 275 00:14:14,894 --> 00:14:17,229 I've secretly treasured every moment. 276 00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:19,815 And I love this monkey! 277 00:14:19,816 --> 00:14:23,151 I can't wait to tell everyone I know about this place. 278 00:14:23,152 --> 00:14:26,697 Oh, yeah. Everybody is gonna hear about this mountain. 279 00:14:26,698 --> 00:14:30,659 As soon as I have service, I'm gonna blow Instagram up. Click. 280 00:14:30,660 --> 00:14:32,411 That's not a click. 281 00:14:32,412 --> 00:14:34,538 This is a click. 282 00:14:34,539 --> 00:14:36,582 I'm partial to clacks myself. 283 00:14:36,583 --> 00:14:38,125 Enough! 284 00:14:38,126 --> 00:14:40,043 Vicente, what are you doing? 285 00:14:40,044 --> 00:14:42,087 I am doing my job. 286 00:14:42,088 --> 00:14:44,464 My real job. 287 00:14:44,465 --> 00:14:49,428 You see, I am not actually a sexy waiter or a super-hot mountain guide. 288 00:14:49,429 --> 00:14:53,725 I am the protector of Chimborazo. 289 00:14:55,477 --> 00:15:00,689 And as the protector of Chimborazo, I must kill you all. 290 00:15:00,690 --> 00:15:03,525 Because I took a dump in that crystal cave? 291 00:15:03,526 --> 00:15:04,693 You did what? 292 00:15:04,694 --> 00:15:10,032 I must kill you to keep this sacred place from being ruined like Everest has been. 293 00:15:10,033 --> 00:15:12,826 I won't let it be flooded with stupid tourists. 294 00:15:12,827 --> 00:15:17,998 And thus, your family cannot live to tell the tale of Chimborazo. 295 00:15:17,999 --> 00:15:20,500 As we say in Ecuador... 296 00:15:20,501 --> 00:15:22,004 "Sowwy." 297 00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:29,384 Ugh, secret protector of the mountain? 298 00:15:29,385 --> 00:15:31,511 Boring. I've lost all interest. 299 00:15:31,512 --> 00:15:33,597 I was hoping his secret was something impressive, 300 00:15:33,598 --> 00:15:34,848 like he could blow himself. 301 00:15:34,849 --> 00:15:36,433 Where are you taking us, Vicente? 302 00:15:36,434 --> 00:15:39,436 To El Culo del Diablo que Pica. 303 00:15:39,437 --> 00:15:41,855 The Devil's Itchy Butthole. 304 00:15:41,856 --> 00:15:44,733 Where I'm going to throw you into a pit of hot magma. 305 00:15:44,734 --> 00:15:47,277 We never would have told anybody about this place 306 00:15:47,278 --> 00:15:49,321 until you made us fall in love with it! 307 00:15:49,322 --> 00:15:51,323 I always end up doing this. 308 00:15:51,324 --> 00:15:55,077 I feel compelled to show people the beauty of Chimborazo, 309 00:15:55,078 --> 00:15:57,496 and then I feel compelled to kill them. 310 00:15:57,497 --> 00:15:58,914 Dad, do something. 311 00:15:58,915 --> 00:16:00,999 Oh, I thought I couldn't do anything right. 312 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:04,586 But now that you want me to save your lives, I'm Mr. Popularity. 313 00:16:04,587 --> 00:16:06,173 Well, okay. 314 00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:09,883 So weak. 315 00:16:09,884 --> 00:16:13,889 Maybe from the... many dozens of spider bites. 316 00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:20,228 Sure, sure. I know three of these are nipples, but it's still a lot. 317 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,363 Ai! 318 00:16:31,364 --> 00:16:33,407 Phew. Okay. 319 00:16:33,408 --> 00:16:36,368 I know we're supposed to be fighting, but that was-- 320 00:16:36,369 --> 00:16:37,869 Amazing. 321 00:16:37,870 --> 00:16:39,997 Where'd you learn to Zorb like that? 322 00:16:39,998 --> 00:16:42,916 Every night, I have the same dream. 323 00:16:42,917 --> 00:16:45,627 And in the dream, I am Zorbing. 324 00:16:45,628 --> 00:16:46,753 Same. 325 00:16:46,754 --> 00:16:51,299 I never thought I'd find someone that loves Zorbs as much as I do. 326 00:16:51,300 --> 00:16:54,178 I never thought I'd meet such a cute fish. 327 00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:57,639 I'm kissing! 328 00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:00,892 I can't wait for you to meet my family when they get back with Vicente. 329 00:17:00,893 --> 00:17:03,187 They're with Vicente? Oh, no! 330 00:17:08,485 --> 00:17:11,403 The Devil's Itchy Butthole. 331 00:17:11,404 --> 00:17:14,239 A suitable end for those who would threaten 332 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:17,617 the pristine beauty of Chimborazo. 333 00:17:17,618 --> 00:17:21,498 But we aren't. I swear. We would never-- 334 00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:23,457 My bad. 335 00:17:23,458 --> 00:17:26,793 Dad's useless. So we need to do something about Vicente. 336 00:17:26,794 --> 00:17:31,465 One thing I've noticed about Vicente, he is very horny for this mountain. 337 00:17:31,466 --> 00:17:34,718 We can use his love of the mountain against him. 338 00:17:34,719 --> 00:17:37,804 Yeah. We'll trick him into showing us more and more of the mountain 339 00:17:37,805 --> 00:17:39,264 until we have a chance to escape. 340 00:17:39,265 --> 00:17:43,518 All right, Vicente, you might as well just go ahead and throw us in. 341 00:17:43,519 --> 00:17:47,272 We've seen all there is to see on old Chimborazo. 342 00:17:47,273 --> 00:17:49,900 Oh! Far from it. 343 00:17:49,901 --> 00:17:52,652 She's barely pulled up her dress for you. 344 00:17:52,653 --> 00:17:55,697 You're saying there's more to this beautiful mountain? 345 00:17:55,698 --> 00:17:59,785 Ah! I know I should just throw you in the magma. 346 00:17:59,786 --> 00:18:00,870 But... 347 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,798 - Whoa. - It's incredible! 348 00:18:12,799 --> 00:18:17,803 These creatures are found only here, near the top of Chimborazo. 349 00:18:17,804 --> 00:18:22,142 You are one of the few outsiders to ever see them. 350 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:24,893 Wow. Cool bird. 351 00:18:24,894 --> 00:18:28,396 We call that one Feather Bent Squawkadelic. 352 00:18:28,397 --> 00:18:29,815 Wow. Cool name. 353 00:18:29,816 --> 00:18:34,736 This sleeve of enchanted E.L. Fudges has got me feeling right as rain. 354 00:18:34,737 --> 00:18:39,574 I know he wants to kill us, but I kind of agree with Vicente. 355 00:18:39,575 --> 00:18:42,536 It would be terrible if tourists ruined this mountain. 356 00:18:42,537 --> 00:18:44,955 Yeah, this place is special. 357 00:18:44,956 --> 00:18:48,375 Well, well, well. Chimborazo, eh? 358 00:18:48,376 --> 00:18:50,335 Not such a bad idea after all. 359 00:18:50,336 --> 00:18:53,880 Three cheers for Stan, father of the year. 360 00:18:53,881 --> 00:18:55,842 Squawk, squawk, squawk! 361 00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:04,975 She really is quite the mountain. 362 00:19:04,976 --> 00:19:06,643 She sure is. 363 00:19:06,644 --> 00:19:09,813 Wait a minute. I just remembered. We're about to get murdered. 364 00:19:09,814 --> 00:19:12,817 It's always something. You can never just enjoy the moment. 365 00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:23,495 Pixar is back to make their alpaca movie. 366 00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:26,371 This ends now. 367 00:19:26,372 --> 00:19:29,207 - Why don't you use your gun? - That's not a gun. 368 00:19:29,208 --> 00:19:34,298 It is another amazing creature found only on Chimborazo. 369 00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:42,262 This mountain is too important. 370 00:19:42,263 --> 00:19:44,598 We must join Vicente and fight for it. 371 00:19:44,599 --> 00:19:46,266 For Chimborazo! 372 00:19:46,267 --> 00:19:49,227 Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! 373 00:19:49,228 --> 00:19:51,355 Let's beat up some nerds! 374 00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:03,576 Next time you'll think twice before you mess with Pixar. 375 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:13,335 - Is that-- - Guys, I met someone! 376 00:20:13,336 --> 00:20:14,461 I'm in love! 377 00:20:14,462 --> 00:20:16,254 Abuelo! 378 00:20:16,255 --> 00:20:19,050 Esmeralda, Pixar is back. 379 00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,146 - Yeah. - Suck it, Pixar! 380 00:20:33,147 --> 00:20:35,106 I misjudged this family. 381 00:20:35,107 --> 00:20:37,734 You are pure of heart and spirit. 382 00:20:37,735 --> 00:20:39,653 {\an8}You love this mountain as I do. 383 00:20:39,654 --> 00:20:45,492 {\an8}I name you all henceforth: fellow protectors of Chimborazo. 384 00:20:45,493 --> 00:20:48,703 {\an8}- Thank you, Vicente. - Do we actually have to do anything? 385 00:20:48,704 --> 00:20:50,705 {\an8}With that Pixar movie shelved, 386 00:20:50,706 --> 00:20:53,876 {\an8}Chimborazo shall remain a secret forever.