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_
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First day of class. I'm back, baby!
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Ah! I see no one's discovered
my secret parking spot.
4
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Surf wheels!
5
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Hayley's back!
Did you see me see Hayley?!
6
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Sick trick, Hayley.
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Excuse me, dear.
You seem very comfortable here.
8
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Do you know where the
science trailer is?
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Freshmen.
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Come on. Roll with me.
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Name's Hayley. I'll show you the ropes.
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That's the first one.
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There are six more around campus.
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There's a lot of impromptu tug-of-war
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happening around here.
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Also kick the can.
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Pretty much any trash you
see lying around campus,
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we have a game for it.
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This is the dining
hall and computer lab.
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You should hear the fan in that Gateway.
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Try opening AltaVista and "Wolfenstein"
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at the same time.
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Blow your [BLEEP] eardrums out.
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Here's a gym.
25
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Team's getting ready
for a big game tonight.
26
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A foosball game?
27
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You play? You should try out for JV.
28
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No spinning, though. That's bitch play.
29
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Wow. You really know your stuff.
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Yeah, well, I love it here.
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And I plan to stay for a long,
long time.
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Hey, Hayley.
I thought I heard your wheels.
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One more credit to go,
and you are out of here, huh?
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What?! Th-That can't be right.
35
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I was going through school records
36
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and I found out you are one stamp away
37
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from graduating.
38
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But I don't want to graduate!
39
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And I don't want to
help my gross mom get
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in and out of her dumb wheelchair,
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but she paid for my house, so...
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You get what I'm saying, right?
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♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
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♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
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♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
46
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♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
47
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
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- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
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Aah!
50
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♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
51
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Roger, I need your help.
52
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Well, you've come to the right place.
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I'm Roger.
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Did you know Groff is
only a two-year school?
55
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I did know it was only two years,
56
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but I thought, legally,
they couldn't call it a school.
57
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They're gonna make me graduate!
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- And you don't want to leave.
- No!
59
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I am not ready for the real world...
Look at me.
60
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Ah! A Peter Pan situation.
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Well, you came to the right place.
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I'm Roger.
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Did I already say that? Doesn't matter.
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Anyhoo, give me 24 hours,
and I'll have your solution.
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Thanks. I knew
I could count on you, Roger.
66
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Looking for Roger? That's me.
67
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I'm Roger. Wait a second.
68
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Oh, I'm cleaning with gin.
69
00:02:55,149 --> 00:02:58,082
That means I've had
14 Pine-Sol martinis.
70
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And explains why my
diarrhea cleaned the toilet.
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I'm Roger.
72
00:03:07,894 --> 00:03:10,762
So, this is the room for rent.
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Obviously, it's got great natural light.
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And a lot of shared walls.
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Paper-thin.
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That's good, because I play cool music.
77
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Dad, what the hell?!
78
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This is that problem
tenant I told you about.
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Oh, hey, it's my little bookworm.
80
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About to graduate, spread her wings,
81
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and leave the nest.
82
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Dad, I'm not going anywhere.
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Actually, you are.
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Family rules clearly state,
"After college,
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"each child will forge out on their own
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"without financial or emotional support
87
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from the parents/guardians."
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The "emotional" part felt a little cold,
89
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but our lawyer at the time said
we need to protect ourselves.
90
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Nice! I could get used to this.
91
00:03:54,006 --> 00:03:56,574
Roger! You're trying to steal my room?
92
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Yeah. I need it.
93
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Made the mistake of
renting out the attic
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as a practice space for Rogu's ska band.
95
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They're terrible.
How do you screw up ska?
96
00:04:04,283 --> 00:04:06,048
- You're supposed to be helping me.
- Sorry.
97
00:04:06,150 --> 00:04:08,117
We got a drop-everything
kind of situation.
98
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This room hasn't been on
the market in 19 years,
99
00:04:10,322 --> 00:04:12,888
and the landlord doesn't have a friggin'
clue what it's worth.
100
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Plus, I'm buds
with the guy in the next unit.
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Make it happen, Rog!
102
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Whoa! Look at all these
hot-sauce packets.
103
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Del Taco Inferno!
104
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I always want to ask for it,
105
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but then I chicken out at the window.
106
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Take them. My car lease is up,
107
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and I got to get this thing cleaned out
108
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before I take it in.
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Mm... you've got a dent here.
110
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Returning it like this is
leaving money on the table.
111
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- Really?
- But...
112
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I could pop it out for you
right here in the garage.
113
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I used to be a little bit of an oil boy.
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A what?
115
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You know, a wrench monkey,
116
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a muffler humper, a tire charmer.
117
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A tailpipe Tony.
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- You mean a mechanic?
- Wuz dat?
119
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- Can you really fix the dent?
- Give me two days.
120
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Do you want me to do anything
about the interior smell?
121
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What smell?
122
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Okay.
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00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:06,072
_
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- I scheduled a 2:00.
- Hey, my number-one senior.
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Sit down.
126
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I have got such a good feeling
about you, Smith.
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You're gonna make it on the outside.
128
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You are destined for
the Groff Wall of Fame.
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The what?
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These are all the Groff alumni
131
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who became famous.
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This guy right here went on to be
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the most prolific serial killer
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in Virginia history.
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These two... his first victims.
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Oh, and this last one is
Linda Bloodworth-Thomason,
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the creator of TV's "Designing Women."
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She didn't go here.
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Actually, Cheryl,
I'd really like to avoid graduating.
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Totally understand.
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Between us,
it is hell on the other side.
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Oh, in fact,
I got to clock into my second job
143
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:51,516
at Yoshinoya Beef Bowl in 12 minutes.
144
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And if I graduate,
I'm gonna be homeless.
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There is one way to
stay here indefinitely,
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but nobody's ever pulled it off.
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I'll try anything.
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Fail your class over and over
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and then retake it forever.
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A forever class! Of course!
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Thank you.
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00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:12,704
Holy shit! I thought that was a poster!
153
00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:14,372
Oh, my God. Was that my ex?
154
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About yea high,
likes to show his entire gums?
155
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Can eat an entire apple in seconds? Ugh!
156
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You know what the sad part is?
157
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I'm probably gonna take him back.
158
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Hey, guess what.
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I'm gonna intentionally fail this class.
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Oh, we're friends?
161
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Can you drive me to the vet after this?
162
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My snake is sick.
I think I gave him an old mouse.
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We have to pick him up
from my stepdad's house.
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He lives in the woods.
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Excuse me. Could you keep it down?
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Some of us are trying to learn.
167
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Roger?! What are you doing here?
168
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It's Lacey Krinklehoel,
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and I'm here to make sure you graduate.
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This is about my room, isn't it?
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Sure is. Can you believe it?
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The valedictorian and star of
her high school's production
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of "Pirates of Penzance"
is here to help you graduate.
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You're lucky I couldn't go to Harvard
175
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because my mom got super-sick...
Don't ask.
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Now let's learn everything
there is to know about...
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00:07:08,926 --> 00:07:10,092
advanced theory?
178
00:07:10,194 --> 00:07:12,328
Well, sorry, but you can't help me...
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if I'm in my van, smokin' doobie smacks.
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Professor,
what if we had class outside today?
181
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Maybe in the parking lot,
next to Hayley's van?
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00:07:21,539 --> 00:07:24,507
Huh. Well, I would be closer
to my car when class ends.
183
00:07:24,609 --> 00:07:26,509
And who knows...
Maybe Ms. Smith will share
184
00:07:26,611 --> 00:07:29,646
those doobie smacks with
her favorite professor of...
185
00:07:29,748 --> 00:07:31,980
advanced theory?
186
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Lacey Krinklehoel?!
187
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Right? Such a good student.
188
00:07:39,228 --> 00:07:40,760
She worried about her grades so much,
189
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it gave her rickets.
190
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Look, I am failing this class,
191
00:07:43,899 --> 00:07:46,299
and there is nothing you or
your boring persona can do
192
00:07:46,402 --> 00:07:48,001
- to stop me.
- Boring?
193
00:07:48,103 --> 00:07:50,337
Does liking horses sound boring?
194
00:07:50,439 --> 00:07:52,239
Does reading "The Clan of the Cave Bear"
195
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:54,174
50 times sound boring?
196
00:07:54,276 --> 00:07:56,676
Does collecting sand from every vacation
197
00:07:56,778 --> 00:07:58,345
she goes on sound boring?
198
00:07:58,447 --> 00:07:59,546
Well, that one sounds boring.
199
00:07:59,648 --> 00:08:02,416
But not when you see the little jars.
200
00:08:02,518 --> 00:08:04,051
Then it takes you right back
201
00:08:04,153 --> 00:08:07,320
to that magical summer you went to...
202
00:08:07,423 --> 00:08:08,555
sand.
203
00:08:08,657 --> 00:08:09,689
Huh.
204
00:08:09,791 --> 00:08:11,024
Hey, babe?
205
00:08:11,126 --> 00:08:14,194
Aren't you going to be late for school?
206
00:08:14,296 --> 00:08:16,696
New plan... not going.
207
00:08:16,798 --> 00:08:17,897
Sure you are.
208
00:08:17,899 --> 00:08:19,165
I didn't want to wake you,
209
00:08:19,267 --> 00:08:20,934
but I didn't want you to miss class.
210
00:08:21,036 --> 00:08:23,102
Roger, get us down from here!
211
00:08:23,204 --> 00:08:25,137
Babe, could you keep it down?
212
00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:27,540
And you're hogging all the blankets.
213
00:08:30,645 --> 00:08:32,712
_
214
00:08:32,814 --> 00:08:35,715
My favorite team is the Bazooka Sharks.
215
00:08:35,817 --> 00:08:36,916
We pay in dollars.
216
00:08:37,018 --> 00:08:39,185
In Germany, they use marks.
217
00:08:39,287 --> 00:08:41,220
Pretty excited about my slam poem.
218
00:08:41,322 --> 00:08:43,189
- How's yours?
- Non-existent.
219
00:08:43,291 --> 00:08:45,391
Don't worry. Lacey's got you.
220
00:08:45,493 --> 00:08:46,725
What i... What is it?
221
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:49,561
Different trees have different barks.
222
00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:53,231
This poem is for Rosa Parks.
223
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,834
Ms. Smith, excellent work.
224
00:08:57,905 --> 00:09:00,739
- Damn it! How did you...
- I was president of the A.V. Club.
225
00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:03,374
I did all the special effects for
"Pirates of Penzance"
226
00:09:03,477 --> 00:09:05,143
in addition to starring in it.
227
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:06,979
The high-school paper declared it...
228
00:09:07,081 --> 00:09:09,681
"this year's musical."
229
00:09:12,086 --> 00:09:15,087
Hey, Lacey,
this midterm's worth 40% of our grade.
230
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:16,588
Does this look like an "A"?
231
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:19,290
It looks like an innocent horse's penis,
but...
232
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,126
hanging from a man.
233
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,361
You can't turn that in.
234
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:27,565
Professor, I was thinking,
what if this midterm
235
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:29,667
didn't count at all toward our grade?
236
00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:31,669
Huh. I like that.
237
00:09:31,771 --> 00:09:33,771
Shoot. But then what would count?
238
00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:36,107
The final... a speech that would count
239
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:38,009
for 100% of our grade.
240
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100%?
241
00:09:39,712 --> 00:09:41,613
That's what we're trying to get to.
242
00:09:41,714 --> 00:09:43,248
And what if we do it in teams,
243
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,416
but only one person has to present,
244
00:09:45,519 --> 00:09:47,084
and my partner is Hayley?
245
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:50,355
Everyone, throw your midterms away,
246
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:52,423
'cause the coolest teacher in school
247
00:09:52,526 --> 00:09:56,060
is doing a thing.
248
00:09:59,398 --> 00:10:01,398
Hey, Klaus, how's the dent looking?
249
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:02,799
What happened to my car?!
250
00:10:02,901 --> 00:10:05,969
You have to take it apart
to put it back together.
251
00:10:06,071 --> 00:10:07,137
It was a dent!
252
00:10:07,239 --> 00:10:08,605
Puh! The dent.
253
00:10:08,707 --> 00:10:10,474
I wish the dent was our only problem.
254
00:10:10,576 --> 00:10:11,975
Look at this air filter.
255
00:10:12,077 --> 00:10:13,143
That's a muffler.
256
00:10:13,245 --> 00:10:14,645
Okay, little lady.
257
00:10:14,746 --> 00:10:16,746
You listened to "Car Talk"
a couple times, then...
258
00:10:16,848 --> 00:10:19,216
Klaus, I've got to turn this lease in!
259
00:10:19,318 --> 00:10:20,750
Fine! Turn it in now.
260
00:10:20,852 --> 00:10:21,918
I can get you a bag.
261
00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:23,187
What?! No!
262
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,289
I need you to put this back together.
263
00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:26,490
Oh!
264
00:10:26,492 --> 00:10:28,091
So, you want me to do my job.
265
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:29,560
Oh, I'd love to.
266
00:10:29,662 --> 00:10:32,095
You're back and forth
like a windshield wiper.
267
00:10:32,197 --> 00:10:33,329
Hey, Klaus?
268
00:10:33,431 --> 00:10:34,830
Your "Babes of Pennzoil" calendar came.
269
00:10:34,932 --> 00:10:35,964
Oh, good, good.
270
00:10:36,067 --> 00:10:39,168
Hang it in the very wet
bathroom with no lock.
271
00:10:41,739 --> 00:10:43,506
For this speech tomorrow, this book says
272
00:10:43,608 --> 00:10:45,675
to start with a joke or anecdote.
273
00:10:45,776 --> 00:10:47,710
Maybe I'll tell a joke,
and if no one laughs,
274
00:10:47,812 --> 00:10:49,111
I'll say it was an anecdote.
275
00:10:49,214 --> 00:10:50,313
That's perfect.
276
00:10:51,100 --> 00:10:52,080
What's going on, Hayley?
277
00:10:52,083 --> 00:10:54,083
I thought you were trying
to fail this class.
278
00:10:54,185 --> 00:10:56,219
I can't, not with you in my way.
279
00:10:56,321 --> 00:10:57,620
You're gonna crush the speech tomorrow.
280
00:10:57,722 --> 00:10:59,054
You're an amazing orator.
281
00:10:59,156 --> 00:11:00,756
Well, I was selected by my peers
282
00:11:00,858 --> 00:11:02,692
to read the Emancipation Proclamation
283
00:11:02,793 --> 00:11:04,293
at Disney World in Orlando.
284
00:11:04,395 --> 00:11:05,928
Jafar came up to me afterwards
285
00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:08,731
and said I changed his
mind about a lot of things.
286
00:11:08,833 --> 00:11:10,099
I bet you did.
287
00:11:10,201 --> 00:11:11,900
Say, since this is my last night
288
00:11:12,002 --> 00:11:13,135
in community college,
289
00:11:13,237 --> 00:11:15,204
how about you take me
out to one last hurrah?
290
00:11:15,305 --> 00:11:17,139
Some people from class are
having a little get-together.
291
00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:18,373
Sounds good.
292
00:11:18,475 --> 00:11:19,708
I usually like to go to bed early,
293
00:11:19,810 --> 00:11:21,977
but I had three rotisserie
chickens for lunch,
294
00:11:22,079 --> 00:11:24,913
so I have a little extra
energy to burn off.
295
00:11:26,617 --> 00:11:27,983
Oh, cheese and rice, Hayley!
296
00:11:28,085 --> 00:11:31,419
There's alcohol on the premises.
What if the police come?
297
00:11:31,521 --> 00:11:33,255
That girl's standing on the bed.
298
00:11:33,357 --> 00:11:35,057
Talk about your life being over.
299
00:11:35,159 --> 00:11:37,059
Oh, my gosh. I had no idea.
300
00:11:37,161 --> 00:11:39,094
Let's get out of here, Lacey.
301
00:11:39,196 --> 00:11:41,429
Wait. Is that Ronnie over there?
302
00:11:41,531 --> 00:11:43,631
I didn't know he was gonna be here.
303
00:11:43,733 --> 00:11:45,800
Don't you have a huge crush on him?
304
00:11:45,902 --> 00:11:47,835
- You should go talk to him.
- Oh, God!
305
00:11:47,937 --> 00:11:49,937
I can feel my rickets flaring up.
306
00:11:50,039 --> 00:11:51,372
Sounds like nerves.
307
00:11:51,474 --> 00:11:54,441
You're gonna need something
to help you relax.
308
00:11:54,543 --> 00:11:56,744
Alcohol's good for that.
309
00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:58,579
I guess I could have one.
310
00:11:58,681 --> 00:12:01,515
To a chaste kiss with Ronnie.
311
00:12:01,617 --> 00:12:03,751
Mmm! That's not too bad.
312
00:12:03,853 --> 00:12:05,686
Makes my tummy feel confident.
313
00:12:05,789 --> 00:12:09,090
And you look beautiful. Have some more.
314
00:12:09,192 --> 00:12:12,459
Look at me go, Hayley!
I'm coming out of my shell.
315
00:12:12,561 --> 00:12:15,263
Maybe I'll even let Ronnie hold my hand.
316
00:12:15,364 --> 00:12:17,497
I sucked seven [BLEEP],
317
00:12:17,599 --> 00:12:20,566
and I didn't even get to Ronnie.
318
00:12:22,137 --> 00:12:24,204
So, did we pass?
319
00:12:24,306 --> 00:12:25,605
Well, let's see.
320
00:12:25,707 --> 00:12:27,373
Lacey mostly talked about a party
321
00:12:27,475 --> 00:12:28,809
I wasn't invited to.
322
00:12:28,911 --> 00:12:31,044
The seven [BLEEP] part
was engaging, though.
323
00:12:31,146 --> 00:12:32,979
How about this? F-plus.
324
00:12:33,081 --> 00:12:34,647
No!
325
00:12:34,749 --> 00:12:38,051
Now I'll never go to Harvard
and make my sick mother proud!
326
00:12:38,153 --> 00:12:41,221
She has the bubonic plague.
Thanks for asking, by the way.
327
00:12:41,323 --> 00:12:42,555
She was camping in New Mexico,
328
00:12:42,657 --> 00:12:44,925
and some squirrel
feces got in her mouth.
329
00:12:48,997 --> 00:12:50,330
What the hell?!
330
00:12:50,432 --> 00:12:51,997
Where's my car?
331
00:12:52,099 --> 00:12:54,266
Which one's yours? The yellow F-150?
332
00:12:54,369 --> 00:12:55,468
No, Klaus.
333
00:12:55,470 --> 00:12:56,636
You said two days.
334
00:12:56,738 --> 00:12:58,504
It's been a month.
335
00:12:58,606 --> 00:13:00,206
Look, I'm sorry, okay?
336
00:13:00,308 --> 00:13:01,808
I have a lot to do around here.
337
00:13:01,909 --> 00:13:04,544
I just finished making sure
the coffee is super-bitter,
338
00:13:04,646 --> 00:13:06,713
greased up all the Sports Illustrateds,
339
00:13:06,815 --> 00:13:10,149
and some jerk keeps lowering
the volume on "TMZ."
340
00:13:10,251 --> 00:13:12,284
Fine. You can have two more days.
341
00:13:12,387 --> 00:13:14,186
Two days. Ooh!
342
00:13:14,288 --> 00:13:17,223
That's when your Coleman
beer-can chicken roaster rack
343
00:13:17,325 --> 00:13:18,691
is supposed to arrive.
344
00:13:18,793 --> 00:13:20,760
Ugh! Too bad
your Good Grips salad spinner
345
00:13:20,862 --> 00:13:22,328
is back-ordered for another week.
346
00:13:22,430 --> 00:13:24,063
That could have been a cool combo
347
00:13:24,165 --> 00:13:25,665
for, like, a backyard party.
348
00:13:25,767 --> 00:13:28,500
Have you been spying
on my Amazon account?
349
00:13:28,602 --> 00:13:30,935
- Yes.
- Why?
350
00:13:31,037 --> 00:13:33,137
I think you have an exciting account.
351
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:34,840
Thank you.
352
00:13:54,123 --> 00:13:57,829
Listen up. We have
some unsavory news to share.
353
00:13:57,931 --> 00:13:59,463
I'm going to turn it over to Cheryl,
354
00:13:59,565 --> 00:14:02,300
my colleague here and
at Yoshinoya Beef Bowl.
355
00:14:02,402 --> 00:14:04,202
Thank you, my Beef Bowl brother.
356
00:14:04,304 --> 00:14:06,204
Okay. This is never easy.
357
00:14:06,306 --> 00:14:07,872
Tragically, last night,
358
00:14:07,974 --> 00:14:10,732
Lacey Krinklehoel took her own life.
359
00:14:12,245 --> 00:14:15,880
She jumped from the clock tower
after unnecessarily dragging
360
00:14:15,982 --> 00:14:18,116
a long wooden plank to the top.
361
00:14:18,218 --> 00:14:21,119
Apparently, she was, until the very end,
362
00:14:21,221 --> 00:14:23,754
so proud of her work in
her high-school production
363
00:14:23,856 --> 00:14:25,924
of "Pirates of Penzance."
364
00:14:26,026 --> 00:14:28,092
And one!
365
00:14:28,194 --> 00:14:30,161
Oh, please.
You guys don't know her like I do.
366
00:14:30,263 --> 00:14:31,729
She's gonna be fine.
367
00:14:31,831 --> 00:14:35,265
And so, in accordance with
Groff Community College by-laws,
368
00:14:35,367 --> 00:14:38,368
the partner of any student
who commits suicide
369
00:14:38,471 --> 00:14:40,971
is awarded an automatic "A."
370
00:14:41,073 --> 00:14:42,640
No!
371
00:14:42,742 --> 00:14:45,142
In lieu of official grief counseling,
372
00:14:45,244 --> 00:14:47,578
the school is partnering with Yoshinoya
373
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:49,914
to offer all grieving students coupons
374
00:14:50,015 --> 00:14:52,583
for brown rice at the white-rice price.
375
00:14:52,685 --> 00:14:54,184
Now, I'm gonna tell you up front,
376
00:14:54,286 --> 00:14:58,388
because we've had some issues,
it is a mail-in rebate.
377
00:14:58,491 --> 00:14:59,990
So, come on down to Yoshinoya
378
00:15:00,092 --> 00:15:03,060
so we can get to Yoshi-know each other.
379
00:15:07,049 --> 00:15:10,129
Here's an apartment
that's perfect for us.
380
00:15:10,231 --> 00:15:11,363
This is a photo of a cup.
381
00:15:11,465 --> 00:15:13,866
I'm thirsty.
382
00:15:13,968 --> 00:15:16,301
Oh, my God! I just heard about Lacey.
383
00:15:16,403 --> 00:15:17,837
That's crazy!
384
00:15:17,939 --> 00:15:19,571
I can't believe you killed her.
385
00:15:19,673 --> 00:15:21,607
I passed my class because of you.
386
00:15:21,709 --> 00:15:24,009
Oh, my God! The bylaws!
387
00:15:24,112 --> 00:15:27,213
I didn't even think about
Section 13A, Subset "G."
388
00:15:27,314 --> 00:15:29,181
But that would mean
you're gonna graduate.
389
00:15:29,283 --> 00:15:32,885
And I didn't hire these
shirtless movers for nothing!
390
00:15:32,987 --> 00:15:36,055
Let's see if my stud finder's working.
391
00:15:40,027 --> 00:15:41,627
Stud detected.
392
00:15:47,668 --> 00:15:50,001
Ah, the classic stud-finder bit.
393
00:15:50,103 --> 00:15:52,937
I know it's a dad joke,
but I still like it.
394
00:15:55,504 --> 00:15:56,575
It's been two days!
395
00:15:56,677 --> 00:15:58,176
Give me my damn car!
396
00:15:58,279 --> 00:15:59,544
- Which one is it?
- Klaus!
397
00:15:59,647 --> 00:16:01,380
I'm kidding. It's ready.
398
00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:02,947
I'll have my guy bring it around.
399
00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:04,650
Mijo!
400
00:16:05,046 --> 00:16:07,016
_
401
00:16:07,354 --> 00:16:10,244
_
402
00:16:10,245 --> 00:16:11,457
_
403
00:16:11,492 --> 00:16:14,546
_
404
00:16:14,561 --> 00:16:16,194
I know what's going on in my shop.
405
00:16:16,239 --> 00:16:17,303
_
406
00:16:17,863 --> 00:16:19,530
Did Steve learn Spanish?
407
00:16:19,632 --> 00:16:21,766
I think you're really
gonna like what we did.
408
00:16:24,103 --> 00:16:25,436
What is that noise?
409
00:16:25,538 --> 00:16:27,471
Whistle tips!
410
00:16:30,376 --> 00:16:31,442
Okay, pay attention.
411
00:16:31,544 --> 00:16:33,010
You've got an 8-ball stick shift now.
412
00:16:33,112 --> 00:16:34,144
Very cool.
413
00:16:34,146 --> 00:16:35,613
I know it was an automatic before.
414
00:16:35,715 --> 00:16:36,980
It's kind of a hybrid now.
415
00:16:37,082 --> 00:16:39,183
For gears 1 and 2, you have to shift,
416
00:16:39,285 --> 00:16:41,919
but, realistically,
how often do you use those gears?
417
00:16:42,021 --> 00:16:43,754
We installed a nitrous button.
418
00:16:43,856 --> 00:16:45,989
It's not connected to anything,
but it's there.
419
00:16:46,091 --> 00:16:47,692
This is a disaster, Klaus.
420
00:16:47,794 --> 00:16:49,092
Um, check again.
421
00:16:49,195 --> 00:16:52,095
I added a super-super- long antenna.
422
00:16:52,198 --> 00:16:54,898
It has incredible bounce.
Look how it catches the wind.
423
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,500
You don't even feel, Francine.
424
00:16:57,602 --> 00:16:59,903
_
425
00:17:00,005 --> 00:17:01,805
Tomorrow, my little girl receives
426
00:17:01,907 --> 00:17:03,640
her community-college diploma...
427
00:17:03,742 --> 00:17:05,475
Color-printed and laminated.
428
00:17:05,577 --> 00:17:06,710
To Hayley's diploma.
429
00:17:06,812 --> 00:17:08,946
It's just a stupid piece of paper.
430
00:17:09,048 --> 00:17:10,647
I've got a whole ream of paper.
431
00:17:10,749 --> 00:17:12,382
I can print whatever I want on it.
432
00:17:12,484 --> 00:17:13,583
You sure can.
433
00:17:13,685 --> 00:17:15,385
But every day is your day, honey.
434
00:17:15,487 --> 00:17:17,420
Today, we're celebrating the girl.
435
00:17:17,522 --> 00:17:18,822
- To Hayley!
- To my room!
436
00:17:18,924 --> 00:17:20,557
To my new room! Hip, hip...
437
00:17:20,659 --> 00:17:22,759
- Hooray!
- Opotamus!
438
00:17:22,862 --> 00:17:24,694
Oh, don't feel bad, Hayley.
439
00:17:24,796 --> 00:17:26,529
You didn't have a chance to beat Lacey.
440
00:17:26,631 --> 00:17:28,832
She was possibly my greatest creation.
441
00:17:28,933 --> 00:17:29,966
What?!
442
00:17:30,068 --> 00:17:32,736
She was the most boring,
uninspired persona
443
00:17:32,838 --> 00:17:34,003
you have ever had.
444
00:17:34,105 --> 00:17:35,137
Uninspired?!
445
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:36,272
She was flawless.
446
00:17:36,274 --> 00:17:37,440
She sucked.
447
00:17:37,542 --> 00:17:38,675
She was an angel.
448
00:17:38,777 --> 00:17:40,142
It's a tragedy she had to die
449
00:17:40,245 --> 00:17:41,845
just to get you out of your room.
450
00:17:41,946 --> 00:17:43,946
I guess that's the silver lining...
451
00:17:44,048 --> 00:17:45,047
Lacey's dead.
452
00:17:45,049 --> 00:17:46,549
You keep her name out of your mouth!
453
00:17:46,651 --> 00:17:49,151
Hmm. You're really sensitive about this.
454
00:17:49,254 --> 00:17:52,088
I'm sorry that I'm
sensitive about sacrificing
455
00:17:52,190 --> 00:17:54,524
such a brave and confident soul.
456
00:17:54,626 --> 00:17:57,260
I'm so upset,
I can't even eat my side salad.
457
00:17:57,362 --> 00:18:00,597
Look at this pale tomato
wedge I was so excited to eat.
458
00:18:00,699 --> 00:18:02,498
It's the color of uncooked salmon,
459
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:05,301
the most delicious color of all!
460
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:07,691
I'm gonna take this.
461
00:18:09,107 --> 00:18:10,373
Hmm.
462
00:18:10,474 --> 00:18:12,775
_
463
00:18:12,877 --> 00:18:14,777
Okeydokey, one more warm hand
464
00:18:14,879 --> 00:18:16,112
for your commencement speaker,
465
00:18:16,214 --> 00:18:19,916
Mr. Giggles and his goofy balloon show!
466
00:18:22,253 --> 00:18:23,819
I am sorry there wasn't enough time
467
00:18:23,922 --> 00:18:25,721
for him to make a hat for everybody.
468
00:18:25,823 --> 00:18:28,524
And now your student speaker,
469
00:18:28,626 --> 00:18:29,758
Hayley Smith.
470
00:18:34,534 --> 00:18:35,364
Thank you.
471
00:18:35,366 --> 00:18:38,500
This may surprise some of you,
but up until recently,
472
00:18:38,602 --> 00:18:40,469
I didn't even want to graduate.
473
00:18:40,571 --> 00:18:41,904
I was scared.
474
00:18:42,005 --> 00:18:44,506
But then I met someone
who changed all that,
475
00:18:44,608 --> 00:18:45,974
Lacey Krinklehoel.
476
00:18:46,076 --> 00:18:47,709
Sounds like quite the young woman.
477
00:18:47,812 --> 00:18:48,977
Heard her mother was sick.
478
00:18:49,079 --> 00:18:50,946
Lacey was the only person I knew
479
00:18:51,048 --> 00:18:54,115
who was more afraid and
insecure than I was.
480
00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:55,584
That doesn't sound right, exactly.
481
00:18:55,686 --> 00:18:59,421
Seeing how pathetic she
was made me feel braver
482
00:18:59,523 --> 00:19:00,789
and more confident.
483
00:19:00,891 --> 00:19:02,791
She lied to try and fit in.
484
00:19:02,893 --> 00:19:04,225
She lied about volunteering.
485
00:19:04,328 --> 00:19:07,262
She lied about her
field-hockey triumphs.
486
00:19:07,364 --> 00:19:09,530
She didn't lie about loving horses.
487
00:19:09,632 --> 00:19:13,768
She even lied about starring in
"Pirates of Penzance."
488
00:19:13,870 --> 00:19:17,072
She's entering libel terr...
t-territory now.
489
00:19:17,174 --> 00:19:19,307
But today, isn't about her.
490
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,977
In fact,
it will never be about her again,
491
00:19:22,079 --> 00:19:25,080
because she's as dead as she was boring.
492
00:19:25,182 --> 00:19:26,948
♪ Penzance! Penzance! ♪
493
00:19:27,050 --> 00:19:28,783
♪ We're the Pirates of Penzance! ♪
494
00:19:28,885 --> 00:19:30,718
♪ We got treasure Cannonballs ♪
495
00:19:30,820 --> 00:19:32,420
♪ There's a parrot, probably ♪
496
00:19:32,522 --> 00:19:34,755
♪ So hoist the sails
and anchors aweigh ♪
497
00:19:34,858 --> 00:19:36,624
♪ Kiss your mom, submarine ♪
498
00:19:36,726 --> 00:19:38,493
♪ We're the Pirates of Penzance ♪
499
00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:41,261
♪ A well-received play! ♪
500
00:19:41,364 --> 00:19:43,330
Lacey Krinklehoel alive?
501
00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:46,700
Change the transcripts!
Hayley Smith fails!
502
00:19:46,802 --> 00:19:48,502
Hayley stays!
503
00:19:53,976 --> 00:19:55,742
That was some shit, Hayley.
504
00:19:55,844 --> 00:19:58,678
- I warned you.
- Well, game respects game.
505
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:00,780
For what it's worth,
if you did graduate,
506
00:20:00,883 --> 00:20:02,849
I think you'd be just
fine on the outside.
507
00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:05,685
Maybe, but I hope
I never have to find out.
508
00:20:05,787 --> 00:20:07,021
Oh, I got to bounce.
509
00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,822
My character who gets
trapped in elevators
510
00:20:08,924 --> 00:20:10,624
needs to get food poisoning first.
511
00:20:10,726 --> 00:20:12,459
It really makes everyone I'm stuck with
512
00:20:12,561 --> 00:20:14,528
feel the panic.
513
00:20:29,477 --> 00:20:31,577
Is that a Decepticon sticker?
514
00:20:31,679 --> 00:20:32,845
- Klaus?
- Huh?
515
00:20:32,947 --> 00:20:33,979
Oh, yeah.
516
00:20:33,981 --> 00:20:36,215
Wow! Wow! Okay, then.
517
00:20:36,317 --> 00:20:38,518
I don't know what to say,
other than this car...
518
00:20:38,619 --> 00:20:41,154
rules!
519
00:20:41,256 --> 00:20:43,322
And this thing is nitrous-ready?
520
00:20:43,425 --> 00:20:45,491
Ready and waiting.
521
00:20:45,593 --> 00:20:47,393
Bye-bye, bad guys.
522
00:20:48,430 --> 00:20:49,862
This all looks great, ma'am.
523
00:20:49,964 --> 00:20:51,163
Only thing I have to charge you for
524
00:20:51,265 --> 00:20:53,098
is this dent down here in the corner.
525
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:54,199
Klaus!
526
00:20:54,201 --> 00:20:55,434
Oh, did your goldfish not
527
00:20:55,536 --> 00:20:58,236
do a good-enough job fixing your car?
528
00:20:58,338 --> 00:21:00,905
Bye! Have a great time!
529
00:21:02,355 --> 00:21:04,413
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
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