1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,421
[♪ upbeat music playing]
2
00:00:03,421 --> 00:00:06,674
Damn, it feels good
to have the old
boardwalk back.
3
00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:08,092
This place is awesome.
4
00:00:08,092 --> 00:00:11,303
I used to
dominate this place
as a teenager.
5
00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:13,889
"Queen of the Boardwalk,"
I used to call me.
6
00:00:13,889 --> 00:00:16,767
You know, these places
are terrible for the
coastal environment.
7
00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,018
[all groan]
8
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,562
Plus, the last two boardwalks
9
00:00:19,562 --> 00:00:20,896
literally washed away.
10
00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:22,565
Just seems like
a big waste of money.
11
00:00:22,565 --> 00:00:25,985
{\an8}And besides, all these boards
are a major splinter hazard
12
00:00:25,985 --> 00:00:27,737
{\an8}for people, like me,
13
00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:30,239
{\an8}who exclusively wear
open-toed shoes,
14
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,241
{\an8}a historically
marginalized group.
15
00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:35,578
Whoa, check out
that guy's package
jiggling like crazy.
16
00:00:38,581 --> 00:00:40,583
- Oh, yeah!
- [all cheering]
17
00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:42,418
[wolf-whistling]
18
00:00:42,418 --> 00:00:45,171
Um, welcome to the boardwalk.
19
00:00:45,171 --> 00:00:47,089
{\an8}[♪ theme song playing]
20
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:50,092
{\an8}♪ Good morning, USA ♪
21
00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:53,763
{\an8}The Langley boardwalk's back,
featuring many old favorites,
22
00:00:53,763 --> 00:00:55,306
{\an8}like the Octocoaster
23
00:00:55,306 --> 00:00:56,932
{\an8}and Fudge-mania.
24
00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:59,101
{\an8}But also many new favorites.
25
00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:01,020
{\an8}Like a second
Fudge-mania location
26
00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:02,605
{\an8}and Skimboardo's,
27
00:01:02,605 --> 00:01:05,691
{\an8}the exclusive new
restaurant on the pier.
28
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:08,778
{\an8}Let's go now to
the new boardwalk's
confident architect.
29
00:01:08,778 --> 00:01:12,573
{\an8}Thank you for coming
to what I can say,
without a doubt,
30
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,492
{\an8}is Langley Falls'
31
00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:18,454
{\an8}sturdiest boardwalk ever!
32
00:01:18,454 --> 00:01:20,456
{\an8}[all cheering]
33
00:01:20,456 --> 00:01:21,707
{\an8}And to make certain,
34
00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,459
{\an8}we drove the support beams
35
00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:26,587
{\an8}two miles down into
the Earth's core.
36
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:29,715
{\an8}This baby ain't going nowhere.
37
00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:31,759
{\an8}Seems a little excessive.
Not to mention
38
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:34,386
{\an8}- the mole people that
must've been displaced.
- Shh!
39
00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:36,639
{\an8}And now, to hit
40
00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:39,141
{\an8}the ceremonial final spike,
41
00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:40,810
{\an8}opening us for business,
42
00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:42,561
{\an8}wrestling superstar,
43
00:01:42,561 --> 00:01:44,313
{\an8}and my personal friend,
44
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:46,732
{\an8}Bret "the Hitman" Hart.
45
00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:50,069
{\an8}[♪ rock music playing]
46
00:01:50,069 --> 00:01:51,737
{\an8}[all cheering]
47
00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:55,241
{\an8}[loud rumbling]
48
00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:57,743
{\an8}- What was that rumble?
- Oh, I don't know, Hayley.
49
00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:59,912
{\an8}Maybe just
Pro Wrestling Illustrated's
50
00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:03,123
{\an8}most hated wrestler of 1997
51
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:06,210
{\an8}kicking off the best
goddamned summer ever.
52
00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:08,879
{\an8}I'll catch up with
you guys later.
53
00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:10,339
{\an8}I'm gonna hit up
some Skee-Ball.
54
00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:12,466
{\an8}Back in the day, I was nasty.
55
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:15,678
{\an8}Anyway, I want to
see if the old man's
still got his touch.
56
00:02:15,678 --> 00:02:17,221
{\an8}Give me that, bitch.
57
00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:19,306
{\an8}We've got to get
to Skimboardo's ASAP
58
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,517
{\an8}- if we want to
get a table.
- Rude.
59
00:02:21,517 --> 00:02:24,520
{\an8}- So, what are you--
- I'm gonna go apply
for my dream job.
60
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,689
{\an8}Working at
the salt water
taffy store.
61
00:02:26,689 --> 00:02:29,191
{\an8}Huh. I had no idea
that was your dream job.
62
00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:31,569
{\an8}Did you know taffy
was my favorite food?
63
00:02:31,569 --> 00:02:32,820
{\an8}No.
64
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,446
{\an8}And did you know stores
65
00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:36,782
{\an8}are my favorite places
that sell things?
66
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:39,869
{\an8}I... I never... No, I guess.
67
00:02:39,869 --> 00:02:41,871
{\an8}Then I understand
your confusion.
68
00:02:41,871 --> 00:02:43,455
{\an8}Bye.
69
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:45,207
{\an8}Actually, maybe I did know
70
00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:48,043
{\an8}stores are
his favorite places
that sell things.
71
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:50,170
{\an8}Anyway, I'm gonna get
some Dippin' Dots.
72
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,672
{\an8}I'll find you when I'm done.
73
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:54,466
{\an8}Ugh...
74
00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:57,303
{\an8}Of course I pick today
to forget my Bow Biters.
75
00:02:57,303 --> 00:02:59,430
{\an8}I'm gonna be tying
these puppies all day.
76
00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:01,223
{\an8}Hey, pal. Are you gonna
be here for a second?
77
00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:02,808
{\an8}Do you mind keeping
an eye on my kid?
78
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:05,477
- I was actually just
tying my shoes.
- Great. Thanks.
79
00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:09,481
Yo.
80
00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:13,027
Made a sick itinerary
of my old faves.
81
00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:15,070
Only playing the hits today.
82
00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:16,906
A full henna sleeve,
83
00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:19,575
loitering outside
the boogie board shop.
84
00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:22,828
And I think I'll start
with some boardwalk pizza.
85
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:23,954
Okay. See ya.
86
00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:25,915
Oh, maybe I'll hang with you.
87
00:03:25,915 --> 00:03:28,375
Ooh, I don't know.
88
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,128
I kind of wanted
today to be fun.
89
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,464
Wha... What? I'm fun.
90
00:03:33,464 --> 00:03:36,133
Girl, have you
heard yourself
this morning?
91
00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:38,510
You're always
looking for problems.
92
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:41,221
And I've been waiting
20 years for this.
93
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,141
Today, I'm Team
Good Vibes only.
94
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,976
Come on, Mom.
Give me a chance.
95
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,853
I'll be positive. I promise.
96
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:52,733
Oh, yeah? I've been thinking
about getting into fracking.
97
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:55,611
Oh... tight.
98
00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:59,990
And, oh, boy,
was my dad screaming.
99
00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:02,076
But my jaw had
locked by that point,
100
00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:04,453
so I couldn't have let go
even if I wanted to.
101
00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:07,498
Enough. That story was fine
for walking, but we're here.
102
00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:10,167
This place is buzzing.
But I've got a plan.
103
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:13,295
We're gonna tell them
we're dining here on business.
104
00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:15,506
Oh-ho-ho. Genius.
105
00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:17,383
Business is so important.
106
00:04:17,383 --> 00:04:19,259
They'll have to respect that.
107
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,803
Hi. Hello.
108
00:04:20,803 --> 00:04:24,556
My colleague and I
would like to dine
here on business.
109
00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:26,350
Well, we're all
booked up for months,
110
00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:29,144
but you're welcome to
sit at the bar and see
if anything opens up.
111
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:30,604
Oh.
112
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,481
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
113
00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:33,899
I hear what you're saying.
114
00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:37,444
And what's the status
on that table a-now?
115
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,405
The status is we're
completely booked.
116
00:04:39,405 --> 00:04:41,448
But you're welcome
to wait at the bar.
117
00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:44,910
What the hell? The bar?
118
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:47,621
What? Is the piss-soaked
bathroom floor already full?
119
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,039
Well, we can't leave now.
120
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:51,000
We're already a hundo in.
121
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,336
Fine. But I won't be showing
any bartenders my balls.
122
00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:56,588
This restaurant has
lost that privilege.
123
00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:00,342
- [bell dings]
- Still unstoppable.
124
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:02,011
This must be
how Tom Brady felt
125
00:05:02,011 --> 00:05:04,263
when he read the script
for 80 for Brady.
126
00:05:07,683 --> 00:05:08,684
[bell dings]
127
00:05:08,684 --> 00:05:11,937
Whoa, that ties
my all-time best.
128
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,188
[♪ dramatic note plays]
129
00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:14,356
What the--
130
00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:16,400
Someone really got 850?
131
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:17,901
[slurping drink]
132
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:23,824
[gulps]
133
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,659
You're fine, Stan.
You're the best.
134
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,037
Just slowly extract
that little worm soul
135
00:05:28,037 --> 00:05:30,039
with these nine
balls made of--
136
00:05:30,039 --> 00:05:31,248
What even is this?
137
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,708
It's brown like wood,
138
00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:35,169
but it's, like,
heavy and light
at the same time.
139
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:36,670
Hey, what are
these balls made of?
140
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,005
- Masonite.
- Masonite.
141
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,506
That's great news.
142
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,091
What the hell is Masonite?
143
00:05:43,469 --> 00:05:44,970
Your dad's been gone a while.
144
00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,431
I'm Steve. What's your name?
145
00:05:47,431 --> 00:05:49,725
- Noah.
- Cool.
146
00:05:49,725 --> 00:05:52,603
Like Noah's Ark. Classic tale.
147
00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:54,646
Very cool.
148
00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:57,274
- So, what are you
into these days?
- Purple.
149
00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:58,734
Hmm. Yep.
150
00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:00,778
Can I tell you a secret?
151
00:06:00,778 --> 00:06:03,113
Of course.
But full disclosure.
152
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:05,282
I do tell my friend
Snot everything.
153
00:06:06,492 --> 00:06:07,493
Poop.
154
00:06:07,493 --> 00:06:09,495
[giggling]
155
00:06:09,495 --> 00:06:11,121
[sighs]
156
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,956
Snot will actually love that.
157
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:17,211
I'm here to apply
for my dream job.
158
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:19,379
Well, you're in luck.
We're short-staffed,
159
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,048
and you seem like a great guy.
160
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,341
Can you start right now?
161
00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:24,468
You bet I can.
162
00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:27,429
Mm, beautiful,
isn't she?
But listen.
163
00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:30,641
You're gonna want
to touch it.
Don't do it.
164
00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:36,355
♪ Even though
it's so beautiful ♪
165
00:06:36,355 --> 00:06:37,523
Come on!
166
00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:40,484
Here we go.
167
00:06:40,484 --> 00:06:42,611
A great apron for a great man.
168
00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:43,862
[muffled shouting]
169
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:47,116
Damn. Couldn't have
happened to a better guy.
170
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,787
You've got to learn
to fold it with one hand
171
00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:53,789
so you can hold
your 40 in the other.
172
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,252
Mm.
173
00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,295
That was lucky.
Your pizza was
on the ground
174
00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:02,673
and no seagulls
tried to grab it.
175
00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:04,466
There actually
aren't any seagulls.
176
00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:06,218
That's... that's
kind of weird, right?
177
00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:08,220
Jesus, Hayley.
178
00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:11,306
You really can't help
but look for problems,
can you?
179
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:13,767
No seagulls is a good thing.
180
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:17,479
Look. I can toss my pizza
on the ground, walk away,
181
00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:20,023
walk back,
182
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:22,151
and it's still there, untouched.
183
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:28,115
A birdless boardwalk
is the dream.
184
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:30,492
Just accept something
good is happening.
185
00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:32,369
Mm. Come on.
186
00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:33,662
Toss your pizza.
187
00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:35,414
See how good it feels.
188
00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:38,250
Or can you not handle
Team Good Vibes?
189
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:39,376
'Course I can.
190
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,086
Does this answer
your question?
191
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:45,883
- Oh.
- Wow.
192
00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:46,967
Bad.
193
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:49,094
Nuh-uh! I can still eat it.
194
00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:50,762
I like it sandy-style.
195
00:07:53,182 --> 00:07:55,267
Did you see all those
rats running inland?
196
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:58,187
Well, yeah. And the seabirds
have clearly figured it out.
197
00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:00,397
- They're all gone.
- Animals are smart.
198
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:02,065
They knew before we did.
199
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,859
{\an8}A tsunami is coming.
200
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,155
I wonder where
all them birds
went, anyway.
201
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:14,119
It'd be foolish
not to carbo-load
before my big hike.
202
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:16,079
[gulls squawk softly]
203
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:17,873
You got this, Al.
204
00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:20,167
Don't panic. Don't panic.
205
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,337
Panic!
206
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:24,671
[gulls squawking loudly]
207
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:27,090
[Al screaming]
208
00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:29,551
[♪ ominous music playing]
209
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,094
Sorry. Excuse me.
210
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:32,179
Hi.
211
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:35,724
Did you just say
a tsunami is coming?
212
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:38,310
No. I haven't said
a word in three hours.
213
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,562
There we go.
I'm back in the game.
214
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,898
Apparently, when we put
those extra deep,
215
00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:46,610
extra safe pilings
two miles into the ground,
216
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,445
we accidentally
hit a fault line.
217
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:50,280
That line runs out
under the ocean,
218
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,074
where it triggered
an earthquake,
219
00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:55,285
creating a tidal wave
that's heading right at us.
220
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:56,703
Great, great.
221
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:59,164
And, um, I shouldn't
be losing my shit
because...
222
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:00,999
This would only be a big deal
223
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:03,543
if it wasn't totally
under control.
224
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,963
I've assembled the beach's
hottest lifeguards,
225
00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:09,049
and we're finalizing a plan
to defuse the wave right now.
226
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,676
So don't go telling everybody.
227
00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:12,427
It'll just create a panic.
228
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:13,637
A needless panic,
229
00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:17,641
because everything's
gonna be totally fine.
230
00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:19,726
Totally fine, you say?
231
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,520
Totally fine.
232
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:22,688
[lifeguards laughing]
233
00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:24,773
Oh, hey, Mom.
234
00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:26,525
I'm loving this vibe.
235
00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:28,944
But, um, can I talk
to you about something
I just saw real quick?
236
00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:32,322
This sounds like
boardwalk gossip.
Great vibes.
237
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:35,951
Hayley, thanks for
making such an effort
to be cool today.
238
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:37,327
I appreciate it.
239
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:39,955
Anyway, what's the board goss?
240
00:09:39,955 --> 00:09:43,375
Everything's gonna
be totally fine.
241
00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:45,252
Totally fine, you say?
242
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,129
Totally fine.
243
00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:49,131
All right. I'm taking
your word for it.
244
00:09:49,131 --> 00:09:51,216
I don't want to ruin
this moment with my mom.
245
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:53,468
Wait. You didn't say
that last part before.
246
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:55,429
Yeah. We're working
through some recent stuff.
247
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:56,513
Gotcha.
248
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:57,597
[Francine] Come on!
249
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,349
I actually gotta go. Bye.
250
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:00,434
[Francine clapping]
251
00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:02,019
Give me the goss.
252
00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:03,145
The gossip?
253
00:10:03,145 --> 00:10:06,481
Um, I, uh, just saw...
254
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:08,275
a bunch of hot lifeguards.
255
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,359
Oh, my God.
256
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:11,320
That is good gossip.
257
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:16,491
Lifeguards are so hot.
258
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:19,286
Welcome to Team
Good Vibes, Hayley.
259
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,455
[♪ jaunty music playing]
260
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:23,623
I gave her 100 bucks.
261
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,125
How are we stuck at the bar?
262
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,752
I want my four Jagerbombs
263
00:10:26,752 --> 00:10:28,420
sitting in a
regular-sized chair
264
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:29,963
directly across from you.
265
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,048
Like a gentleman.
266
00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:32,507
That's messed up, man.
267
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:33,884
Memphis, you're famous.
268
00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:35,969
Go demand a table
and bring us with you.
269
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,596
I'm sorry. I don't eat.
270
00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:39,139
- Use your celebrity.
- No.
271
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:42,517
[groans] You're
boning us, dude.
272
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,394
Whoa. These drinks
are not cheap.
273
00:10:45,604 --> 00:10:47,189
Oh, forgot my credit card.
274
00:10:47,189 --> 00:10:49,441
- How much cash
you got on you?
- Nada, dog.
275
00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:50,859
I figured you'd cover this
276
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:53,153
since I paid for
the Sonicare head
we both share.
277
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,322
Hi there. Loving the bar.
278
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:56,698
Beautiful space.
279
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:59,242
Hey, can we
get a partial refund
on that bribe?
280
00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:01,828
But we definitely do
still want the next table.
281
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,835
Roger, grab the tablecloth
and put it over the podium.
282
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,379
We can eat here.
283
00:11:10,379 --> 00:11:13,382
I wouldn't call any of them
my girlfriend, per se,
284
00:11:13,382 --> 00:11:16,718
but... but all high potential
situations, you know.
285
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:18,553
Um, does that
answer your question?
286
00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:23,517
Are you hungry?
We can't go far,
287
00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:25,560
but there's a nacho
stand right there.
288
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:26,937
No way.
289
00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:30,607
My friend Tommy
said nachos are
too spicy for me.
290
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,442
And now I'm scared
to try them.
291
00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,277
Aw, buddy, you'll be fine.
292
00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:35,737
Don't listen to Tommy.
293
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:37,656
Everyone knows he's
a [bleep] sucking
294
00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:40,033
mother [bleep] dip
[bleep] stinky pants.
295
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,576
[giggling]
296
00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:44,287
I'll even
take the first bite
just to make sure.
297
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:47,124
Hmm... Okay.
298
00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:48,417
Attaboy.
299
00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:51,795
I may also grab a pretzel.
300
00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:54,923
Or has Tommy been running
his mouth about those too?
301
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:56,967
Noah? Noah?
302
00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,260
Noah?
303
00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:00,137
Noah!
304
00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:02,889
[sighs] Oh, thank God.
305
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:03,974
There you are.
306
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:06,435
Never do that to me again!
307
00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:09,479
I'm sorry. You just scared me.
308
00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:11,690
Oh, thank God.
309
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:14,818
[bell dings]
310
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,486
How am I getting worse?
311
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:17,904
I'm never gonna catch him.
312
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,156
I got to do something.
313
00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:21,158
Of course.
314
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,539
Well, looks like you win.
315
00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:29,291
Just wanted to say congra--
316
00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:30,417
What's this?
317
00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:32,794
Oh, my God.
318
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:35,130
Look what just fell out
of this kid's pocket.
319
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:36,882
Schematics for 9/11.
320
00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:38,842
This kid helped plan 9/11.
321
00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:41,386
Uh, I wasn't alive for 9/11.
322
00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:43,263
You don't need to call
the cops or anything.
323
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,681
I believe in second chances.
324
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:47,476
But you do need
to disqualify
all his scores.
325
00:12:47,476 --> 00:12:49,060
Sir, before I do anything,
326
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:51,771
you're gonna have to
explain to me what 9/11 is.
327
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,982
We're crushing
this day, Hayles.
328
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:56,067
After this, we'll head
down to the beach,
329
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,986
blast some Eminem real loud,
330
00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,362
and smoke salvia
331
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:02,240
right next to a family
with a bunch of little kids.
332
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,577
Yeah. Sounds, um, perfect.
333
00:13:05,577 --> 00:13:07,704
[rats squeaking]
334
00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:11,249
I, um, just remembered
I left my can of dip
335
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:13,710
on the back
of the crapper.
Be right back.
336
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:16,421
Oh, good.
337
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,381
You actually do have a plan.
338
00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:19,799
We have the tightest plan.
339
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,343
These backpacks have dynamite
340
00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:23,512
left over from the
boardwalk construction.
341
00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:27,557
We're gonna cruise out,
drop it, and trigger
a retaliatory wave,
342
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:30,936
resulting in zero net waves.
343
00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:32,562
Tsunami neutralized.
344
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:35,857
And I'll be
smoking these dudes
at mini golf by sunset.
345
00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:39,528
I'm, uh, not sure
that's how water works.
346
00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:40,779
Well, this is the plan,
347
00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:42,322
and we only got time for one.
348
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,658
So how about some
good vibes, lady?
349
00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:45,825
It'll work.
350
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,077
Watch for yourself.
351
00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:49,287
Hot lifeguards, mount up!
352
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:51,957
Everyone got your red things?
353
00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:54,376
- All right. Let's go.
- [all talking excitedly]
354
00:13:55,961 --> 00:13:58,129
[♪ upbeat rock music playing]
355
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,143
Help. Throw me your red thing.
356
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:17,190
- Good catch.
- Wrong red thing!
357
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:22,821
[whimpers]
358
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:25,031
[bubbling]
359
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,080
We're all screwed.
360
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,292
Hey. Do I have
kettle corn
in my teeth?
361
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:38,920
Sweet. Thanks.
362
00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:42,132
[camera shutter clicks]
363
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:43,508
Just to be clear,
364
00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:44,968
you're gonna airbrush this
365
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:47,220
so I have a big old
fat ass, right?
366
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,305
Mom.
367
00:14:48,305 --> 00:14:49,931
What's with the face?
368
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:52,392
I thought you were
being positive today.
369
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,769
Oh, I'm positive.
Real positive.
370
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:56,313
That we're all [bleep].
371
00:14:56,313 --> 00:14:59,316
The entire boardwalk's about
to get wiped out by a tsunami.
372
00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:01,901
You see
that huge-ass wave,
Team Good Vibes?
373
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,114
{\an8}Dear God.
374
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,241
Run!
375
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,035
Hey. You need to
pay for these.
376
00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:12,579
This is why we should
get the money up front.
377
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:15,624
I can't believe you got
assistant manager over me.
378
00:15:15,624 --> 00:15:18,585
[chuckles nervously] Boss.
I didn't see you there.
379
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,546
- [laughter]
- Run for your lives!
380
00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:24,466
Tsunami!
381
00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:26,885
[slurring] Ladies,
you can relax.
382
00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:29,137
We can relax
because we were wrong
about the tsunami?
383
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,305
No, no, no, no.
384
00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:31,765
One's definitely coming.
385
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:34,809
The super low tide
is a dead giveaway.
386
00:15:34,809 --> 00:15:39,022
You can relax because
when the warning signs
are this obvious,
387
00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,523
it's too late to get away.
388
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:42,942
There's no outrunning
it at this point.
389
00:15:44,319 --> 00:15:45,570
My advice?
390
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,697
Use what little
time you have left
391
00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:50,825
saying goodbye to
the ones you love.
392
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:53,244
Am I one of those people?
393
00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:01,419
Honey, we have horrible news.
394
00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:04,798
Ha! The day I've had,
you don't even know
what horrible news is.
395
00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:06,925
A tsunami is about
to take out the boardwalk,
396
00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:08,510
and it's too late to get away.
397
00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:10,178
We're goners.
398
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:13,431
That'll short out
these machines, right?
Wipe out all the scores?
399
00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:15,934
Yeah. I mean, it'll wipe out
400
00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:18,269
everything and everyone
on this boardwalk.
401
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,562
Including that kid.
402
00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:21,731
And we'd all die tied at zero.
403
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,650
If it's God's will,
it's God's will.
404
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:24,984
Who am I to question it?
405
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,698
See you in purgatory,
bitch ass.
406
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:34,536
And we're all doomed.
407
00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:36,287
[gasps] This isn't fair.
408
00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:38,498
We should have
so much more
time together.
409
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,500
I know, sweetie.
410
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,002
[sobbing]
It's not supposed
to happen this way.
411
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,422
You're supposed to outlive me,
412
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:48,591
and sing
Candle in the Wind
at my funeral.
413
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:50,385
You're not
going out like this.
414
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:54,139
This is my will.
415
00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:56,015
Give it to whoever finds you.
416
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:59,269
You get it all, son.
417
00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:02,272
Raising you today has been
the greatest honor of my life.
418
00:17:07,318 --> 00:17:08,695
I'm sorry.
419
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:11,197
I never should
have attacked you
for being negative
420
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:14,033
or asked you
not to be yourself.
421
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:17,203
Turns out
you have pretty good
survival instincts.
422
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,580
Thanks, Mom.
423
00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:21,624
It's just, my time
on the boardwalk
20 years ago
424
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:24,252
was the best
weekend of my life.
425
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:27,797
Wait. This was all
based on one weekend?
426
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:31,593
Geez. Sorry I didn't
live at the beach.
I'm not a starfish.
427
00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:35,555
Anyway, maybe I need
to be more selective
in calling out problems,
428
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,098
but they do come along,
429
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:40,185
and if you don't see them,
you can't find solutions.
430
00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:42,979
And we've got a big problem.
431
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:45,231
And zero solutions.
432
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,567
- [muffled shouting]
- Babe? What happened?
433
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,985
Actually, we don't have time.
434
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:50,904
Tell me later when
we're drowning to death.
435
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,614
[grunting]
436
00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:54,699
Wow. This taffy won't budge.
437
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:56,201
[muffled shouting]
438
00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:57,452
[all grunting]
439
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:04,918
This stuff's strong.
440
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:10,089
Problem. Solution.
441
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,008
Keep pulling.
We're gonna
stretch this
442
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:15,053
all the way down the boardwalk
and make a delicious barrier.
443
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:18,056
This will take forever.
444
00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:21,142
Need a hand from
Pro Wrestling Illustrated's
445
00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:24,312
most inspirational
wrestler of 1994?
446
00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:25,730
[grunting]
447
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,816
[♪ upbeat rock music playing]
448
00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:31,486
[people screaming]
449
00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:36,658
Check out all
those empty tables.
450
00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:39,828
Finally, we catch
a break. Shall we?
451
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:44,290
Ah. The promised land.
452
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:47,252
- I feel so important.
- I'm sorry.
453
00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:49,796
We're actually gonna
be needing that table.
454
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:51,130
What? Everyone left.
455
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,174
And this place is
about to be driftwood.
456
00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:56,636
Yeah, but we're
expecting a big group
between now and then.
457
00:18:56,636 --> 00:19:00,890
So you're welcome
to keep waiting at the bar
or run for your lives.
458
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,976
Oh, you'd just love that,
wouldn't you?
459
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:04,769
You've been trying
to shake us all day,
460
00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:07,480
but you must have us
confused for some suckers.
461
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,275
So we'll be waiting
out the incoming
tsunami at the bar.
462
00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:11,901
Thank you very much.
463
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:14,863
And we will be
checking back in with you
if either of us survive.
464
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:18,825
I know you don't
465
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:21,035
want to hear this right now,
466
00:19:21,035 --> 00:19:22,745
but I did bring my wallet.
467
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,962
How sure are you
this thing will
actually work, Hayley?
468
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:33,840
Not at all.
But how about some
good vibes, Mom?
469
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:37,010
[♪ dramatic music playing]
470
00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:53,109
- It worked!
- Hallelujah!
471
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:54,986
Oh, no. My Skee-Ball problem.
472
00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:57,030
Saving hundreds of lives?
473
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,448
Great vibes, Hayles.
474
00:19:58,448 --> 00:19:59,532
Thanks, Mom.
475
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:03,578
Noah, my baby. There you are.
476
00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:05,330
Thanks for keeping
an eye on him.
477
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:07,624
His dad forgot
he had softball
this afternoon.
478
00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:09,834
High school softball.
He watches it.
479
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:11,836
What a day we had, Noah.
480
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:14,422
But it's time to go
back to your family.
481
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:16,466
I'll always cherish
our time together.
482
00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:18,468
Hey, creep.
Stay away
from my kid.
483
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,930
You'll always be
in my heart, Noah.
484
00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:23,681
Let's get the hell
out of here.
485
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,143
[Francine] What about Jeff?
486
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:29,187
[Hayley] Eh,
seagulls are back.
They're on it.
487
00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:31,481
[muffled shouting]
488
00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:33,566
{\an8}[♪ ominous music playing]
489
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,026
{\an8}[♪ violin music playing]
490
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,241
[speaking
French]
491
00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:55,004
{\an8}[♪ ominous music playing]