1
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:06,796
Damn, it feels good
to have the old boardwalk back.
2
00:00:06,797 --> 00:00:08,214
This place is awesome.
3
00:00:08,215 --> 00:00:11,426
I used to dominate this place
as a teenager.
4
00:00:11,427 --> 00:00:14,012
"Queen of the Boardwalk,"
I used to call me.
5
00:00:14,013 --> 00:00:16,890
You know, these places are terrible
for the coastal environment.
6
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:21,019
Plus, the last two boardwalks
literally washed away.
7
00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:22,687
Just seems like a big waste of money.
8
00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:26,107
And besides, all these boards
are a major splinter hazard
9
00:00:26,108 --> 00:00:30,361
for people, like me,
who exclusively wear open-toed shoes,
10
00:00:30,362 --> 00:00:32,363
a historically marginalized group.
11
00:00:32,364 --> 00:00:35,702
Whoa, check out that guy's package
jiggling like crazy.
12
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,706
Oh, yeah!
13
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:45,294
Um, welcome to the boardwalk.
14
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:50,214
{\an8}♪ Good morning, USA ♪
15
00:00:50,215 --> 00:00:53,885
{\an8}The Langley boardwalk's back,
featuring many old favorites,
16
00:00:53,886 --> 00:00:57,055
{\an8}like the Octocoaster and Fudge-mania.
17
00:00:57,056 --> 00:00:59,223
{\an8}But also many new favorites.
18
00:00:59,224 --> 00:01:02,727
Like a second Fudge-mania location
and Skimboardo's,
19
00:01:02,728 --> 00:01:05,813
{\an8}the exclusive new restaurant on the pier.
20
00:01:05,814 --> 00:01:08,900
{\an8}Let's go now to the new boardwalk's
confident architect.
21
00:01:08,901 --> 00:01:12,695
{\an8}Thank you for coming
to what I can say, without a doubt,
22
00:01:12,696 --> 00:01:18,577
{\an8}is Langley Falls'
sturdiest boardwalk ever!
23
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:23,581
{\an8}And to make certain,
we drove the support beams
24
00:01:23,582 --> 00:01:26,709
{\an8}two miles down into the Earth's core.
25
00:01:26,710 --> 00:01:29,214
{\an8}This baby ain't going nowhere.
26
00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:30,797
{\an8}Seems a little excessive.
27
00:01:30,798 --> 00:01:33,424
{\an8}Not to mention the mole people
that must've been displaced.
28
00:01:33,425 --> 00:01:34,509
{\an8}Shh!
29
00:01:34,510 --> 00:01:39,263
{\an8}And now,
to hit the ceremonial final spike,
30
00:01:39,264 --> 00:01:41,182
{\an8}opening us for business,
31
00:01:41,183 --> 00:01:44,435
{\an8}wrestling superstar,
and my personal friend,
32
00:01:44,436 --> 00:01:46,855
{\an8}Bret "the Hitman" Hart.
33
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,865
{\an8}- What was that rumble?
- Oh, I don't know, Hayley.
34
00:01:57,866 --> 00:02:03,246
{\an8}Maybe just Pro Wrestling Illustrated's
most hated wrestler of 1997
35
00:02:03,247 --> 00:02:06,334
{\an8}kicking off the best
goddamned summer ever.
36
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:10,461
{\an8}I'll catch up with you guys later.
I'm gonna hit up some Skee-Ball.
37
00:02:10,462 --> 00:02:12,588
{\an8}Back in the day, I was nasty.
38
00:02:12,589 --> 00:02:15,800
{\an8}Anyway, I want to see
if the old man's still got his touch.
39
00:02:15,801 --> 00:02:17,301
{\an8}Give me that, bitch.
40
00:02:17,302 --> 00:02:20,555
{\an8}We've got to get to Skimboardo's ASAP
if we want to get a table.
41
00:02:20,556 --> 00:02:21,639
{\an8}Rude.
42
00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:24,642
{\an8}- So, what are you--
- I'm gonna go apply for my dream job.
43
00:02:24,643 --> 00:02:26,811
{\an8}Working at the salt water taffy store.
44
00:02:26,812 --> 00:02:29,313
{\an8}Huh. I had no idea
that was your dream job.
45
00:02:29,314 --> 00:02:31,691
{\an8}Did you know taffy was my favorite food?
46
00:02:31,692 --> 00:02:32,942
{\an8}No.
47
00:02:32,943 --> 00:02:36,904
{\an8}And did you know stores
are my favorite places that sell things?
48
00:02:36,905 --> 00:02:39,991
{\an8}I... I never... No, I guess.
49
00:02:39,992 --> 00:02:41,993
{\an8}Then I understand your confusion.
50
00:02:41,994 --> 00:02:43,578
{\an8}Bye.
51
00:02:43,579 --> 00:02:45,329
{\an8}Actually, maybe I did know
52
00:02:45,330 --> 00:02:48,166
{\an8}stores are his favorite places
that sell things.
53
00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:51,796
{\an8}Anyway, I'm gonna get some Dippin' Dots.
I'll find you when I'm done.
54
00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:54,463
{\an8}Ugh...
55
00:02:54,464 --> 00:02:57,425
{\an8}Of course I pick today
to forget my Bow Biters.
56
00:02:57,426 --> 00:02:59,594
{\an8}I'm gonna be tying these puppies all day.
57
00:02:59,595 --> 00:03:01,345
{\an8}Hey, pal. Are you gonna
be here for a second?
58
00:03:01,346 --> 00:03:02,930
{\an8}Do you mind keeping an eye on my kid?
59
00:03:02,931 --> 00:03:05,602
- I was actually just tying my shoes.
- Great. Thanks.
60
00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:09,604
Yo.
61
00:03:09,605 --> 00:03:13,149
Made a sick itinerary of my old faves.
62
00:03:13,150 --> 00:03:15,193
Only playing the hits today.
63
00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:19,697
A full henna sleeve,
loitering outside the boogie board shop.
64
00:03:19,698 --> 00:03:22,950
And I think I'll start
with some boardwalk pizza.
65
00:03:22,951 --> 00:03:24,076
Okay. See ya.
66
00:03:24,077 --> 00:03:26,037
Oh, maybe I'll hang with you.
67
00:03:26,038 --> 00:03:28,497
Ooh, I don't know.
68
00:03:28,498 --> 00:03:31,250
I kind of wanted today to be fun.
69
00:03:31,251 --> 00:03:33,586
Wha... What? I'm fun.
70
00:03:33,587 --> 00:03:36,255
Girl, have you heard yourself
this morning?
71
00:03:36,256 --> 00:03:38,633
You're always looking for problems.
72
00:03:38,634 --> 00:03:41,344
And I've been waiting 20 years for this.
73
00:03:41,345 --> 00:03:44,263
Today, I'm Team Good Vibes only.
74
00:03:44,264 --> 00:03:47,975
Come on, Mom. Give me a chance.
I'll be positive. I promise.
75
00:03:47,976 --> 00:03:52,855
Oh, yeah? I've been thinking
about getting into fracking.
76
00:03:52,856 --> 00:03:55,735
Oh... tight.
77
00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:01,948
And, oh, boy, was my dad screaming.
78
00:04:01,949 --> 00:04:04,033
But my jaw had locked by that point,
79
00:04:04,034 --> 00:04:06,410
so I couldn't have let go
even if I wanted to.
80
00:04:06,411 --> 00:04:09,455
Enough. That story was fine for walking,
but we're here.
81
00:04:09,456 --> 00:04:12,124
This place is buzzing.
But I've got a plan.
82
00:04:12,125 --> 00:04:15,253
We're gonna tell them
we're dining here on business.
83
00:04:15,254 --> 00:04:19,340
Oh-ho-ho. Genius.
Business is so important.
84
00:04:19,341 --> 00:04:21,217
They'll have to respect that.
85
00:04:21,218 --> 00:04:22,468
Hi. Hello.
86
00:04:22,469 --> 00:04:26,514
My colleague and I
would like to dine here on business.
87
00:04:26,515 --> 00:04:28,182
Well, we're all booked up for months,
88
00:04:28,183 --> 00:04:31,102
but you're welcome to sit at the bar
and see if anything opens up.
89
00:04:31,103 --> 00:04:32,561
Oh.
90
00:04:32,562 --> 00:04:35,856
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
I hear what you're saying.
91
00:04:35,857 --> 00:04:39,402
And what's the status on that table a-now?
92
00:04:39,403 --> 00:04:43,408
The status is we're completely booked.
But you're welcome to wait at the bar.
93
00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,867
What the hell? The bar?
94
00:04:46,868 --> 00:04:49,578
What? Is the piss-soaked
bathroom floor already full?
95
00:04:49,579 --> 00:04:52,957
Well, we can't leave now.
We're already a hundo in.
96
00:04:52,958 --> 00:04:56,294
Fine. But I won't be showing
any bartenders my balls.
97
00:04:56,295 --> 00:04:58,548
This restaurant has lost that privilege.
98
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:02,300
Still unstoppable.
99
00:05:02,301 --> 00:05:06,222
This must be how Tom Brady felt
when he read the script for 80 for Brady.
100
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:13,354
Whoa, that ties my all-time best.
101
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:18,358
What the-- Someone really got 850?
102
00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:27,616
You're fine, Stan.
You're the best.
103
00:05:27,617 --> 00:05:31,996
Just slowly extract that little worm soul
with these nine balls made of--
104
00:05:31,997 --> 00:05:33,205
What even is this?
105
00:05:33,206 --> 00:05:34,665
It's brown like wood,
106
00:05:34,666 --> 00:05:37,168
but it's, like, heavy and light
at the same time.
107
00:05:37,169 --> 00:05:38,627
Hey, what are these balls made of?
108
00:05:38,628 --> 00:05:41,464
- Masonite.
- Masonite. That's great news.
109
00:05:41,465 --> 00:05:43,051
What the hell is Masonite?
110
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:46,929
Your dad's been gone a while.
111
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:49,388
I'm Steve. What's your name?
112
00:05:49,389 --> 00:05:51,682
- Noah.
- Cool.
113
00:05:51,683 --> 00:05:54,560
Like Noah's Ark. Classic tale.
114
00:05:54,561 --> 00:05:55,688
Very cool.
115
00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,231
- So, what are you into these days?
- Purple.
116
00:05:59,232 --> 00:06:00,691
Hmm. Yep.
117
00:06:00,692 --> 00:06:02,735
Can I tell you a secret?
118
00:06:02,736 --> 00:06:03,944
Of course.
119
00:06:03,945 --> 00:06:07,241
But full disclosure.
I do tell my friend Snot everything.
120
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:09,451
Poop.
121
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,916
Snot will actually love that.
122
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:19,168
I'm here to apply for my dream job.
123
00:06:19,169 --> 00:06:23,005
Well, you're in luck. We're short-staffed,
and you seem like a great guy.
124
00:06:23,006 --> 00:06:25,635
- Can you start right now?
- You bet I can.
125
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:29,387
Mm, beautiful, isn't she? But listen.
126
00:06:29,388 --> 00:06:32,598
You're gonna want to touch it.
Don't do it.
127
00:06:32,599 --> 00:06:38,312
♪ Even though it's so beautiful ♪
128
00:06:38,313 --> 00:06:39,482
Come on!
129
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:44,569
Here we go. A great apron for a great man.
130
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:49,075
Damn. Couldn't have
happened to a better guy.
131
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,744
You've got to learn
to fold it with one hand
132
00:06:53,745 --> 00:06:55,748
so you can hold your 40 in the other.
133
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,042
Mm.
134
00:07:00,043 --> 00:07:01,127
That was lucky.
135
00:07:01,128 --> 00:07:03,756
Your pizza was on the ground
and no seagulls tried to grab it.
136
00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:08,175
There actually aren't any seagulls.
That's... that's kind of weird, right?
137
00:07:08,176 --> 00:07:10,177
Jesus, Hayley.
138
00:07:10,178 --> 00:07:13,264
You really can't help
but look for problems, can you?
139
00:07:13,265 --> 00:07:15,724
No seagulls is a good thing.
140
00:07:15,725 --> 00:07:19,439
Look. I can toss my pizza on the ground,
walk away,
141
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:21,981
walk back,
142
00:07:21,982 --> 00:07:24,110
and it's still there, untouched.
143
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:30,072
A birdless boardwalk is the dream.
144
00:07:30,073 --> 00:07:32,450
Just accept something good is happening.
145
00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:34,326
Mm. Come on.
146
00:07:34,327 --> 00:07:36,873
Toss your pizza. See how good it feels.
147
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,207
Or can you not handle Team Good Vibes?
148
00:07:40,208 --> 00:07:43,045
'Course I can.
Does this answer your question?
149
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,924
- Oh.
- Wow. Bad.
150
00:07:48,925 --> 00:07:52,722
Nuh-uh! I can still eat it.
I like it sandy-style.
151
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:57,224
Did you see all those rats running inland?
152
00:07:57,225 --> 00:08:00,144
Well, yeah. And the seabirds
have clearly figured it out.
153
00:08:00,145 --> 00:08:02,354
- They're all gone.
- Animals are smart.
154
00:08:02,355 --> 00:08:03,939
They knew before we did.
155
00:08:03,940 --> 00:08:05,818
A tsunami is coming.
156
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,114
I wonder where
all them birds went, anyway.
157
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:16,077
It'd be foolish not to carbo-load
before my big hike.
158
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,830
You got this, Al.
159
00:08:19,831 --> 00:08:22,126
Don't panic. Don't panic.
160
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:24,754
Panic!
161
00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:35,095
Sorry. Excuse me.
162
00:08:35,096 --> 00:08:36,182
Hi.
163
00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:39,725
Did you just say a tsunami is coming?
164
00:08:39,726 --> 00:08:42,311
No. I haven't said a word in three hours.
165
00:08:42,312 --> 00:08:44,563
There we go. I'm back in the game.
166
00:08:44,564 --> 00:08:46,899
Apparently, when we put those extra deep,
167
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:50,611
extra safe pilings
two miles into the ground,
168
00:08:50,612 --> 00:08:52,446
we accidentally hit a fault line.
169
00:08:52,447 --> 00:08:56,075
That line runs out under the ocean,
where it triggered an earthquake,
170
00:08:56,076 --> 00:08:59,286
creating a tidal wave
that's heading right at us.
171
00:08:59,287 --> 00:09:03,165
Great, great. And, um, I shouldn't be
losing my shit because...
172
00:09:03,166 --> 00:09:07,545
This would only be a big deal
if it wasn't totally under control.
173
00:09:07,546 --> 00:09:09,964
I've assembled the beach's
hottest lifeguards,
174
00:09:09,965 --> 00:09:13,050
and we're finalizing a plan
to defuse the wave right now.
175
00:09:13,051 --> 00:09:16,428
So don't go telling everybody.
It'll just create a panic.
176
00:09:16,429 --> 00:09:17,555
A needless panic,
177
00:09:17,556 --> 00:09:21,642
because everything's
gonna be totally fine.
178
00:09:21,643 --> 00:09:23,727
Totally fine, you say?
179
00:09:23,728 --> 00:09:25,522
Totally fine.
180
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:30,067
Oh, hey, Mom. I'm loving this vibe.
181
00:09:30,068 --> 00:09:32,945
But, um, can I talk to you
about something I just saw real quick?
182
00:09:32,946 --> 00:09:36,323
This sounds like boardwalk gossip.
Great vibes.
183
00:09:36,324 --> 00:09:39,952
Hayley, thanks for making such an effort
to be cool today.
184
00:09:39,953 --> 00:09:41,328
I appreciate it.
185
00:09:41,329 --> 00:09:43,457
Anyway, what's the board goss?
186
00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:47,376
Everything's gonna be totally fine.
187
00:09:47,377 --> 00:09:49,253
Totally fine, you say?
188
00:09:49,254 --> 00:09:51,130
Totally fine.
189
00:09:51,131 --> 00:09:53,173
All right. I'm taking your word for it.
190
00:09:53,174 --> 00:09:55,217
I don't want to ruin
this moment with my mom.
191
00:09:55,218 --> 00:09:57,469
Wait. You didn't say
that last part before.
192
00:09:57,470 --> 00:09:59,430
Yeah. We're working through
some recent stuff.
193
00:09:59,431 --> 00:10:00,514
Gotcha.
194
00:10:00,515 --> 00:10:01,599
Come on!
195
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,351
I actually gotta go. Bye.
196
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:07,146
- Give me the goss.
- The gossip?
197
00:10:07,147 --> 00:10:12,276
Um, I, uh, just saw...
a bunch of hot lifeguards.
198
00:10:12,277 --> 00:10:15,321
Oh, my God. That is good gossip.
199
00:10:15,322 --> 00:10:19,577
Lifeguards are so hot.
200
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:23,288
Welcome to Team Good Vibes, Hayley.
201
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:29,126
I gave her 100 bucks.
How are we stuck at the bar?
202
00:10:29,127 --> 00:10:30,794
I want my four Jägerbombs
203
00:10:30,795 --> 00:10:33,964
sitting in a regular-sized chair
directly across from you.
204
00:10:33,965 --> 00:10:35,049
Like a gentleman.
205
00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:36,508
That's messed up, man.
206
00:10:36,509 --> 00:10:39,970
Memphis, you're famous.
Go demand a table and bring us with you.
207
00:10:39,971 --> 00:10:41,597
I'm sorry. I don't eat.
208
00:10:41,598 --> 00:10:43,140
- Use your celebrity.
- No.
209
00:10:43,141 --> 00:10:46,518
You're boning us, dude.
210
00:10:46,519 --> 00:10:48,397
Whoa. These drinks are not cheap.
211
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:51,190
Oh, forgot my credit card.
212
00:10:51,191 --> 00:10:53,442
- How much cash you got on you?
- Nada, dog.
213
00:10:53,443 --> 00:10:57,154
I figured you'd cover this since I paid
for the Sonicare head we both share.
214
00:10:57,155 --> 00:11:00,574
Hi there. Loving the bar. Beautiful space.
215
00:11:00,575 --> 00:11:03,243
Hey, can we get a partial refund
on that bribe?
216
00:11:03,244 --> 00:11:05,831
But we definitely do
still want the next table.
217
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:12,836
Roger, grab the tablecloth
and put it over the podium.
218
00:11:12,837 --> 00:11:14,380
We can eat here.
219
00:11:14,381 --> 00:11:17,383
I wouldn't call any of them
my girlfriend, per se,
220
00:11:17,384 --> 00:11:20,719
but... but all high potential situations,
you know.
221
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,556
Um, does that answer your question?
222
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:29,561
Are you hungry? We can't go far,
but there's a nacho stand right there.
223
00:11:29,562 --> 00:11:30,938
No way.
224
00:11:30,939 --> 00:11:34,608
My friend Tommy said nachos
are too spicy for me.
225
00:11:34,609 --> 00:11:36,443
And now I'm scared to try them.
226
00:11:36,444 --> 00:11:39,738
Aw, buddy, you'll be fine.
Don't listen to Tommy.
227
00:11:39,739 --> 00:11:44,035
Everyone knows he's a [bleep] sucking
mother [bleep] dip [bleep] stinky pants.
228
00:11:45,579 --> 00:11:48,288
I'll even take the first bite
just to make sure.
229
00:11:48,289 --> 00:11:51,125
Hmm... Okay.
230
00:11:51,126 --> 00:11:52,420
Attaboy.
231
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,796
I may also grab a pretzel.
232
00:11:55,797 --> 00:11:58,924
Or has Tommy been running
his mouth about those too?
233
00:11:58,925 --> 00:12:00,968
Noah? Noah?
234
00:12:00,969 --> 00:12:02,261
Noah?
235
00:12:02,262 --> 00:12:04,140
Noah!
236
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:07,977
Oh, thank God. There you are.
237
00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:10,438
Never do that to me again!
238
00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:13,482
I'm sorry. You just scared me.
239
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:15,693
Oh, thank God.
240
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:20,487
How am I getting worse?
241
00:12:20,488 --> 00:12:21,905
I'm never gonna catch him.
242
00:12:21,906 --> 00:12:23,159
I got to do something.
243
00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:25,161
Of course.
244
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,540
Well, looks like you win.
245
00:12:31,541 --> 00:12:33,292
Just wanted to say congra--
246
00:12:33,293 --> 00:12:34,420
What's this?
247
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:36,795
Oh, my God.
248
00:12:36,796 --> 00:12:39,131
Look what just fell out
of this kid's pocket.
249
00:12:39,132 --> 00:12:40,883
Schematics for 9/11.
250
00:12:40,884 --> 00:12:42,843
This kid helped plan 9/11.
251
00:12:42,844 --> 00:12:45,387
Uh, I wasn't alive for 9/11.
252
00:12:45,388 --> 00:12:47,264
You don't need to call
the cops or anything.
253
00:12:47,265 --> 00:12:48,682
I believe in second chances.
254
00:12:48,683 --> 00:12:51,477
But you do need to disqualify
all his scores.
255
00:12:51,478 --> 00:12:53,061
Sir, before I do anything,
256
00:12:53,062 --> 00:12:55,773
you're gonna have to explain to me
what 9/11 is.
257
00:12:55,774 --> 00:12:57,983
We're crushing this day, Hayles.
258
00:12:57,984 --> 00:13:01,987
After this, we'll head down to the beach,
blast some Eminem real loud,
259
00:13:01,988 --> 00:13:06,241
and smoke salvia right next to a family
with a bunch of little kids.
260
00:13:06,242 --> 00:13:09,579
Yeah. Sounds, um, perfect.
261
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:16,460
I, um, just remembered I left
my can of dip on the back of the crapper.
262
00:13:16,461 --> 00:13:17,713
Be right back.
263
00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:20,422
Oh, good.
264
00:13:20,423 --> 00:13:22,382
You actually do have a plan.
265
00:13:22,383 --> 00:13:23,801
We have the tightest plan.
266
00:13:23,802 --> 00:13:27,513
These backpacks have dynamite
left over from the boardwalk construction.
267
00:13:27,514 --> 00:13:31,558
We're gonna cruise out, drop it,
and trigger a retaliatory wave,
268
00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:34,937
resulting in zero net waves.
269
00:13:34,938 --> 00:13:36,563
Tsunami neutralized.
270
00:13:36,564 --> 00:13:39,858
And I'll be smoking these dudes
at mini golf by sunset.
271
00:13:39,859 --> 00:13:43,529
I'm, uh, not sure that's how water works.
272
00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:46,323
Well, this is the plan,
and we only got time for one.
273
00:13:46,324 --> 00:13:48,659
So how about some good vibes, lady?
274
00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:51,078
It'll work. Watch for yourself.
275
00:13:51,079 --> 00:13:53,290
Hot lifeguards, mount up!
276
00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:55,958
Everyone got your red things?
277
00:13:55,959 --> 00:13:58,379
All right. Let's go.
278
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:16,146
Help. Throw me your red thing.
279
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:21,193
- Good catch.
- Wrong red thing!
280
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,083
We're all screwed.
281
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:39,336
Hey. Do I have kettle corn in my teeth?
282
00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:42,923
Sweet. Thanks.
283
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:49,595
Just to be clear,
284
00:14:49,596 --> 00:14:53,307
you're gonna airbrush this
so I have a big old fat ass, right?
285
00:14:53,308 --> 00:14:54,391
Mom.
286
00:14:54,392 --> 00:14:58,478
What's with the face?
I thought you were being positive today.
287
00:14:58,479 --> 00:15:00,856
Oh, I'm positive. Real positive.
288
00:15:00,857 --> 00:15:02,232
That we're all [bleep].
289
00:15:02,233 --> 00:15:05,402
The entire boardwalk's
about to get wiped out by a tsunami.
290
00:15:05,403 --> 00:15:07,990
You see that huge-ass wave,
Team Good Vibes?
291
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,202
Dear God.
292
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,328
Run!
293
00:15:14,329 --> 00:15:16,121
Hey. You need to pay for these.
294
00:15:16,122 --> 00:15:18,665
This is why we should
get the money up front.
295
00:15:18,666 --> 00:15:21,253
I can't believe you got
assistant manager over me.
296
00:15:21,795 --> 00:15:24,671
Boss.
I didn't see you there.
297
00:15:24,672 --> 00:15:27,633
Run for your lives!
298
00:15:27,634 --> 00:15:29,762
Tsunami!
299
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:32,971
Ladies, you can relax.
300
00:15:32,972 --> 00:15:35,223
We can relax because we were wrong
about the tsunami?
301
00:15:35,224 --> 00:15:37,851
No, no, no, no. One's definitely coming.
302
00:15:37,852 --> 00:15:40,896
The super low tide is a dead giveaway.
303
00:15:40,897 --> 00:15:45,108
You can relax because
when the warning signs are this obvious,
304
00:15:45,109 --> 00:15:46,610
it's too late to get away.
305
00:15:46,611 --> 00:15:49,031
There's no outrunning it at this point.
306
00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:51,657
My advice?
307
00:15:51,658 --> 00:15:56,912
Use what little time you have left
saying goodbye to the ones you love.
308
00:15:56,913 --> 00:15:59,333
Am I one of those people?
309
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,506
Honey, we have horrible news.
310
00:16:07,507 --> 00:16:10,884
Ha! The day I've had,
you don't even know what horrible news is.
311
00:16:10,885 --> 00:16:13,011
A tsunami is about
to take out the boardwalk,
312
00:16:13,012 --> 00:16:14,596
and it's too late to get away.
313
00:16:14,597 --> 00:16:15,683
We're goners.
314
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:19,518
That'll short out these machines, right?
Wipe out all the scores?
315
00:16:19,519 --> 00:16:24,356
Yeah. I mean, it'll wipe out
everything and everyone on this boardwalk.
316
00:16:24,357 --> 00:16:27,818
Including that kid.
And we'd all die tied at zero.
317
00:16:27,819 --> 00:16:31,073
If it's God's will, it's God's will.
Who am I to question it?
318
00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:35,786
See you in purgatory, bitch ass.
319
00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:40,664
And we're all doomed.
320
00:16:40,665 --> 00:16:44,584
This isn't fair.
We should have so much more time together.
321
00:16:44,585 --> 00:16:46,586
I know, sweetie.
322
00:16:46,587 --> 00:16:49,089
It's not supposed
to happen this way.
323
00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:54,678
You're supposed to outlive me,
and sing Candle in the Wind at my funeral.
324
00:16:54,679 --> 00:16:56,473
You're not going out like this.
325
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,225
This is my will.
326
00:17:00,226 --> 00:17:02,102
Give it to whoever finds you.
327
00:17:02,103 --> 00:17:05,355
You get it all, son.
328
00:17:05,356 --> 00:17:08,360
Raising you today has been
the greatest honor of my life.
329
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:14,614
I'm sorry.
330
00:17:14,615 --> 00:17:17,284
I never should
have attacked you for being negative
331
00:17:17,285 --> 00:17:20,120
or asked you not to be yourself.
332
00:17:20,121 --> 00:17:23,290
Turns out you have
pretty good survival instincts.
333
00:17:23,291 --> 00:17:24,374
Thanks, Mom.
334
00:17:24,375 --> 00:17:27,711
It's just, my time
on the boardwalk 20 years ago
335
00:17:27,712 --> 00:17:30,338
was the best weekend of my life.
336
00:17:30,339 --> 00:17:33,884
Wait. This was all based on one weekend?
337
00:17:33,885 --> 00:17:37,679
Geez. Sorry I didn't live at the beach.
I'm not a starfish.
338
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:41,641
Anyway, maybe I need to be more selective
in calling out problems,
339
00:17:41,642 --> 00:17:43,185
but they do come along,
340
00:17:43,186 --> 00:17:46,271
and if you don't see them,
you can't find solutions.
341
00:17:46,272 --> 00:17:49,066
And we've got a big problem.
342
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:50,903
And zero solutions.
343
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,653
Babe? What happened?
344
00:17:53,654 --> 00:17:55,072
Actually, we don't have time.
345
00:17:55,073 --> 00:17:56,991
Tell me later
when we're drowning to death.
346
00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:00,787
Wow. This taffy won't budge.
347
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:11,006
This stuff's strong.
348
00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:16,176
Problem. Solution.
349
00:18:16,177 --> 00:18:19,721
Keep pulling. We're gonna stretch this
all the way down the boardwalk
350
00:18:19,722 --> 00:18:21,266
and make a delicious barrier.
351
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:24,142
This will take forever.
352
00:18:24,143 --> 00:18:27,229
Need a hand
from Pro Wrestling Illustrated's
353
00:18:27,230 --> 00:18:30,399
most inspirational wrestler of 1994?
354
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,744
Check out all those empty tables.
355
00:18:42,745 --> 00:18:45,916
Finally, we catch a break. Shall we?
356
00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:49,503
Ah. The promised land.
357
00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:53,338
- I feel so important.
- I'm sorry.
358
00:18:53,339 --> 00:18:55,882
We're actually
gonna be needing that table.
359
00:18:55,883 --> 00:18:57,217
What? Everyone left.
360
00:18:57,218 --> 00:18:59,302
And this place is about to be driftwood.
361
00:18:59,303 --> 00:19:02,722
Yeah, but we're expecting a big group
between now and then.
362
00:19:02,723 --> 00:19:06,977
So you're welcome to keep waiting
at the bar or run for your lives.
363
00:19:06,978 --> 00:19:09,062
Oh, you'd just love that, wouldn't you?
364
00:19:09,063 --> 00:19:11,148
You've been trying to shake us all day,
365
00:19:11,149 --> 00:19:13,567
but you must have us confused
for some suckers.
366
00:19:13,568 --> 00:19:16,403
So we'll be waiting out
the incoming tsunami at the bar.
367
00:19:16,404 --> 00:19:17,487
Thank you very much.
368
00:19:17,488 --> 00:19:20,951
And we will be checking back in with you
if either of us survive.
369
00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:27,122
I know you don't
want to hear this right now,
370
00:19:27,123 --> 00:19:28,834
but I did bring my wallet.
371
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:37,048
How sure are you this thing
will actually work, Hayley?
372
00:19:37,049 --> 00:19:39,928
Not at all.
But how about some good vibes, Mom?
373
00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,196
- It worked!
- Hallelujah!
374
00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:01,072
Oh, no. My Skee-Ball problem.
375
00:20:01,073 --> 00:20:04,534
Saving hundreds of lives?
Great vibes, Hayles.
376
00:20:04,535 --> 00:20:05,621
Thanks, Mom.
377
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:09,664
Noah, my baby. There you are.
378
00:20:09,665 --> 00:20:11,416
Thanks for keeping an eye on him.
379
00:20:11,417 --> 00:20:13,752
His dad forgot
he had softball this afternoon.
380
00:20:13,753 --> 00:20:15,921
High school softball. He watches it.
381
00:20:15,922 --> 00:20:17,923
What a day we had, Noah.
382
00:20:17,924 --> 00:20:20,508
But it's time to go back to your family.
383
00:20:20,509 --> 00:20:22,552
I'll always cherish our time together.
384
00:20:22,553 --> 00:20:24,556
Hey, creep. Stay away from my kid.
385
00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:28,016
You'll always be in my heart, Noah.
386
00:20:28,017 --> 00:20:29,770
Let's get the hell out of here.
387
00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:33,146
What about Jeff?
388
00:20:33,147 --> 00:20:35,274
Eh, seagulls are back.
They're on it.