1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,419 (盛大重新開幕) 2 00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:06,797 天啊,重回經典木棧道心情真好 3 00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:08,215 這裡好棒 4 00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:11,427 我年輕的時候,這裡就是我的地盤 5 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:14,096 「木棧道女王」,我自封稱號 6 00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:17,058 其實這種地方對沿岸環境是有害的 7 00:00:18,226 --> 00:00:20,936 而且,之前的兩個木棧道 都是被海水沖刷走的 8 00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:22,688 感覺根本只是把錢丟進海水裡 9 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:26,108 再加上這些木板的木刺很容易刺傷人 10 00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:30,362 尤其是對我這種人來說 我們只穿開趾式鞋款 11 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,364 我們是一群被社會邊緣化的族群 12 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:35,702 看看他下面的一大包,晃啊晃不停 13 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,247 - 上啊! - 好耶! 14 00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:41,583 秀給大家看! 15 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,128 歡迎來到木棧道 16 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:50,215 {\an8}早安,美國 17 00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:53,886 {\an8}蘭利木棧道重回小鎮 帶來許多經典人氣品項 18 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:57,056 {\an8}像是八爪雲霄飛車和巧克力軟糖攤販 19 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,974 {\an8}但還有更多新創的熱門據點 20 00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:02,728 {\an8}像是第二家巧克力軟糖攤販 和淺灘衝浪之家 21 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,814 {\an8}這是碼頭新開的僅此一家餐廳 22 00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:08,901 {\an8}接下來交給本次負責新木棧道 充滿自信的建築師 23 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:12,696 {\an8}謝謝各位前來 我可以無庸置疑向各位保證 24 00:01:12,697 --> 00:01:14,615 {\an8}這是蘭利福爾斯 25 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:18,161 {\an8}有史以來最堅固的木棧道! 26 00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:21,830 {\an8}而且為了萬無一失 27 00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:26,710 {\an8}我們的地基柱深入地心3.2公里深 28 00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:29,214 {\an8}絕對穩當,哪裡都去不了 29 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:31,215 {\an8}感覺做得有點過火了吧 30 00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:33,968 {\an8}更別說街友一定都被驅離了 31 00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:39,264 {\an8}現在讓我們錘進象徵性的最後一根鋼釘 32 00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:40,933 {\an8}正式開幕 33 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:44,436 {\an8}有請摔角巨星,同時也是我個人好友 34 00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:46,856 {\an8}人稱「殺手」布雷特哈特 35 00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:51,861 {\an8}好耶! 36 00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:57,700 {\an8}- 那個轟隆隆的聲音是什麼? - 海莉,我不知道 37 00:01:57,867 --> 00:02:02,831 {\an8}可能只是《職業摔角畫報》 1997年最具惡名的摔角手 38 00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:06,292 {\an8}一鎚讓我們開始最美好的夏天吧 39 00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:10,462 {\an8}我晚點跟你們會合 我得去打幾輪滾球機 40 00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:12,506 {\an8}我以前可是叱咤風雲 41 00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:15,301 {\an8}看看這把老骨頭還有沒有以前的手感 42 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:17,344 {\an8}賤貨,拿來 43 00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:20,556 {\an8}我們得趕快去淺灘衝浪之家 看能不能搶到桌位 44 00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:21,640 {\an8}沒禮貌 45 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:24,643 {\an8}- 那你... - 我要去應徵我的夢想工作 46 00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:26,812 {\an8}去鹹水太妃糖專賣店工作 47 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,314 {\an8}我完全不知道那是你的夢想工作 48 00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:31,692 {\an8}你知道太妃糖是我最愛的食物嗎? 49 00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:32,943 {\an8}不知道 50 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:36,905 {\an8}那我最喜歡有賣東西的場所 就是店舖,你知道嗎? 51 00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:39,992 {\an8}我從沒...我不知道 52 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,996 {\an8}那我懂你的困惑點了,再會 53 00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:47,792 {\an8}其實,我應該確實知道 他最喜歡有賣東西的場所就是店舖 54 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:51,796 {\an8}好吧,我要去吃點點糖冰淇淋 吃完再去找妳們 55 00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:57,426 {\an8}我竟然挑今天忘了鞋帶夾 56 00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,219 {\an8}得花上整天綁這個小東西 57 00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:01,138 {\an8}老兄,你會在這裡坐一下嗎? 58 00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:02,764 {\an8}可以幫我看一下孩子嗎? 59 00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:05,602 - 其實我只是要綁鞋帶 - 很好,感謝 60 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:13,150 我把以前最愛做的事 列成超讚的必做清單 61 00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:15,194 今天只去推薦行程踩點 62 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:19,698 全手臂彩繪,在衝浪板店前閒晃 63 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:22,951 而且我要先從木棧道的披薩開始 64 00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:25,538 - 就這樣,晚點見 - 不然我跟妳一起 65 00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:28,249 不好吧 66 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,834 我希望今天是有趣的一天 67 00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:33,587 什麼?我很有趣啊 68 00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:36,298 小妞,妳有聽到自己早上講的話嗎? 69 00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:38,634 妳總是雞蛋裡挑骨頭 70 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:41,386 我等這天等了二十年 71 00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:44,264 今天,我只想跟正能量的人一起 72 00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:47,976 拜託啦,媽,再給我一次機會 我會很正面,我保證 73 00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:52,857 是嗎?我在想要參與水力壓裂工程 74 00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:55,944 讚喔 75 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,949 天啊,我的父親在尖叫 76 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,034 但當時我的下巴卡住了 77 00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:06,411 就算我想要放開也辦不到 78 00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:09,581 夠了,邊走邊聽這故事還行 但我們已經到了 79 00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:12,125 這裡也排隊排太長了 不怕,我有個計畫 80 00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:15,129 我們得告訴他們 我們是出差來這裡用餐的 81 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:19,341 天才,工作聽起來就很重要 82 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:21,219 他們一定要特別關照 83 00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:26,515 妳好,我同事和我是出差來這裡用餐的 84 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,183 我們都訂滿了,最快要等幾個月後 85 00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:31,104 但歡迎在吧台等,看有沒有空桌 86 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,400 好,沒問題,我懂妳意思 87 00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:39,403 現在桌位的狀況呢? 88 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:43,324 狀況一樣是我們已經完全訂滿 但歡迎在吧台等 89 00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,868 搞什麼鬼?吧台? 90 00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:49,579 什麼?這裡就像是 泡在小便裡的廁所,竟然已經滿了? 91 00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:52,958 我們現在不能轉身就走 我們已經花了一百元 92 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:56,295 很好,但我不會亮蛋蛋給酒保看的 93 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,548 這間餐廳已經失去這份特權 94 00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,301 還是無人能擋 95 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:06,222 這一定跟湯姆布雷迪 讀《80奔赴布萊迪》的劇本時感受一樣 96 00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:13,354 馬上達到我歷年最佳紀錄 97 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,151 什麼...有人竟然拿到850分? 98 00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:27,451 沒事的,史坦,你是最棒的 99 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:31,497 只要緩慢地釋放出小蟲精神 用這九顆材質為... 100 00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,290 這是什麼做的? 101 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:37,127 這是像木頭般的褐色 但同時又重,但也很輕 102 00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,628 這些球的材質是什麼? 103 00:05:38,629 --> 00:05:41,132 - 美森奈纖維板 - 美森奈纖維板,學到了 104 00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:43,051 什麼是美森奈纖維板? 105 00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:47,138 你爸去了好一陣子 106 00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:49,389 我叫史蒂夫,你的名字是? 107 00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:51,351 - 諾亞 - 很好 108 00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:54,145 像諾亞方舟,經典的故事 109 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:55,688 很不錯 110 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,192 - 那你最近對什麼有興趣? - 紫色 111 00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:02,736 - 好 - 我可以跟你說個祕密嗎? 112 00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:07,241 當然,但先跟你老實說 我會跟我朋友隆斯丁分享一切 113 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:09,619 大便啦 114 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,665 老實說,隆斯丁應該會很喜歡 115 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,708 (黃金歲月太妃糖) 116 00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:19,169 我是來應徵我的夢想工作 117 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:23,006 你很幸運,我們剛好缺人 你看起來人也不錯 118 00:06:23,007 --> 00:06:25,635 - 你可以馬上開工嗎? - 當然沒問題 119 00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,637 真美妙,對吧? 120 00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:32,350 但聽好,你會想要碰它,但不要這麼做 121 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:39,482 來吧 122 00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:44,570 這給你,優秀的人配上優秀的圍裙 123 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:48,616 糟糕,也太不巧了 124 00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,745 妳得學會單手對折 125 00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,748 這樣另一隻手才能拿麥芽啤酒 126 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:01,002 真幸運 127 00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:03,631 妳的披薩掉在地上,沒有海鷗來叼走 128 00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:08,176 事實上沒看到半隻海鷗 有點詭異對吧? 129 00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:10,178 天啊,海莉 130 00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:13,265 妳真的受不了一刻不找碴,對吧? 131 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,725 沒有海鷗是好事 132 00:07:15,726 --> 00:07:19,647 妳看,我可以把披薩丟在地板上,走開 133 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:24,235 走回來,然後披薩還是在地上完好無缺 134 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:29,532 沒有鳥類的木棧道堪稱完美 135 00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:32,452 好事發生,只要接受就可以 136 00:07:33,661 --> 00:07:36,873 快啊,把披薩丟地上 感受一下那種快感 137 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,208 還是說妳做不到正向思考? 138 00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,712 我當然可以,看這樣如何? 139 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,925 好樣的 140 00:07:48,926 --> 00:07:52,722 我還是可以吃掉,我喜歡細沙口味 141 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,267 你們有看到所有老鼠都往內陸跑了嗎? 142 00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:59,895 對,而且海鳥們也都發現了 143 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,355 - 牠們都走了 - 動物很聰明的 144 00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:05,818 牠們比我們提前察覺,海嘯就要來了 145 00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:10,114 我忍不住想那群鳥去哪了 146 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:15,995 在大長征健行前 必須爆吃一頓碳水化合物 147 00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:22,126 奧爾,你可以的,不要慌,別慌 148 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:24,754 救命! 149 00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:36,015 抱歉,不好意思,哈囉 150 00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:39,726 你們剛是說海嘯要來了? 151 00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:42,063 不是,我三個小時內一句話都沒說 152 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,564 就是這樣,我又重回小圈圈 153 00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:46,900 顯然是因為我們設置特別深 154 00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:50,612 特別安全的基柱 深入地底3.2公里時 155 00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,447 我們意外錘到斷層 156 00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:56,076 那個斷層一路延伸至海洋底部 因而導致地震 157 00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:58,704 引起海嘯,現在直撲我們而來 158 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:03,166 好,很好,我應該不需要驚慌,因為... 159 00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:07,546 只有在我們無法掌控局面時 這才會是大災難 160 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,631 我集結了海灘上最火辣的救生員 161 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:13,051 我們正在討論出平息巨浪的最終計畫 162 00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:16,347 請不要散佈消息,否則只會讓人群恐慌 163 00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:21,435 恐慌是沒必要的 因為一切問題都會迎刃而解 164 00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:25,523 - 一切會迎刃而解? - 一切會迎刃而解 165 00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:30,360 媽,妳看起來玩得很開心 166 00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:32,946 但可以跟妳講我剛聽到的事嗎? 一下下就好 167 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:36,324 聽起來就像是木棧道的八卦,我喜歡 168 00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:39,953 海莉,謝謝妳今天這麼努力配合 169 00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:43,457 真心感謝,說吧,聽到什麼八卦? 170 00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:47,377 一切問題都會迎刃而解 171 00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:51,131 - 一切會迎刃而解? - 一切會迎刃而解 172 00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:53,300 好吧,我就信你這次 173 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,218 我不想毀了跟我媽共度的時光 174 00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:57,470 等一下,妳剛剛沒講到這件事 175 00:09:57,471 --> 00:09:59,431 對,我們有些狀況要解決 176 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,390 了解 177 00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:01,516 快點 178 00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:03,519 我得走了,再見 179 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,023 - 快跟我說八卦 - 八卦? 180 00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,900 我剛看到... 181 00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,360 一群性感火辣的救生員 182 00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:15,322 天啊,這八卦好有料 183 00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:19,577 救生員有夠性感 184 00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:22,955 海莉,歡迎加入正能量圈圈 185 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:29,127 都給了她100元 我們怎麼會還卡在酒吧? 186 00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:32,422 我要跟你面對面,坐在正常大小的座位 187 00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:34,132 享用四份野格炸彈酒 188 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,509 - 就像個紳士一樣 - 老兄,聽起來很糟 189 00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:39,971 曼非斯,你是名人 去要張桌子,然後帶我們一起入座 190 00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,598 抱歉,我不吃東西 191 00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:42,933 - 用你的名人光環 - 不 192 00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:46,519 兄弟,你搞我們啊 193 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,397 這些酒可不便宜 194 00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:51,191 忘了帶信用卡 195 00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,443 - 你身上有多少現金? - 半毛都沒有 196 00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:56,822 我想你應該會請這攤 畢竟我付了我們共用的音波牙刷頭 197 00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,575 嗨,酒吧很不錯,空間很愜意 198 00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:03,244 妳可以退還 之前塞給妳的一部分小費嗎? 199 00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:05,831 但我們當然還是要等下一個位子 200 00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:12,837 羅傑,拿條餐桌布,蓋住帶位臺 201 00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:13,798 我們就有桌子用餐了 202 00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:17,759 我自己是不會稱呼她們任何人 為我的女朋友 203 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,179 但每個人都很有機會 204 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,431 有回答到你的問題嗎? 205 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:29,563 你餓嗎?我們不能走太遠 但這裡剛好有個玉米片攤販 206 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:30,563 (玉米片小店) 207 00:11:30,564 --> 00:11:34,609 不行,我朋友湯米說 玉米片太辣我吃不下 208 00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,444 我現在連試一口都怕 209 00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:39,739 小弟,沒事的,不要聽湯米亂說 210 00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:44,036 大家都知道他是個 還在吸母乳又尿床的臭屁孩 211 00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:48,290 我可以吃第一口,幫你確定一下 212 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,420 - 好 - 這就對了 213 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,797 我還想點個椒鹽卷餅 214 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,592 還是湯米對椒鹽卷餅也有意見? 215 00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:00,970 諾亞?諾亞? 216 00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:04,140 諾亞?諾亞! 217 00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:07,977 感謝老天,你在這裡 218 00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:10,438 不准你再這樣對我 219 00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:13,482 抱歉,我只是被你嚇到了 220 00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:15,693 感謝老天 221 00:12:19,196 --> 00:12:21,906 我怎麼越打越爛? 這樣我絕對追不上他的 222 00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:23,159 我得想點辦法 223 00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:25,160 想到了 224 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:26,078 (故障) 225 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:33,334 看起來是你贏,我只想說... 226 00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:34,336 這是什麼? 227 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:36,796 天啊 228 00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:39,132 快看,這小鬼口袋裡剛掉出來這個 229 00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:42,845 911事件的配置圖 這小鬼是911事件的幫凶 230 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,388 911發生時我還沒出生 231 00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:47,265 不需要報警或採取什麼行動 232 00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:48,683 我相信人都會悔改 233 00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:51,478 但你必須取消他所有分數 234 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:53,062 先生,在我採取任何行動前 235 00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:55,774 請先跟我解釋911事件是什麼 236 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,984 海莉,我們徹底玩翻了 237 00:12:57,985 --> 00:13:01,988 在這之後,我們要下去海灘 大唱特唱阿姆的歌 238 00:13:01,989 --> 00:13:06,242 在帶著一票小孩的家庭旁邊 狂抽鼠尾草煙 239 00:13:06,243 --> 00:13:09,121 好,聽起來真棒 240 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:16,544 我剛想起來我把沾醬忘在廁所後面 241 00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:17,505 馬上回來 242 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:22,467 很好,你們確實有計畫 243 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:23,802 我們的計畫很周全 244 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:27,514 這些背包裡裝著 木棧道建商留下來的炸藥 245 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:31,559 我們要出海,丟下炸藥,引發回擊海浪 246 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,938 這樣就可以抵消海浪了 247 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,564 海嘯警報解除 248 00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:39,859 等到日落我會在迷你高爾夫球場 跟這些傢伙玩耍 249 00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:43,614 我不太確定海水是這種運作方式 250 00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:46,282 反正這就是計畫 我們只有時間想出一個計畫 251 00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:49,828 小姐,來點正能量吧?計畫會成功的 252 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:53,290 妳自己看,性感救生員,上裝備 253 00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:57,460 - 大家都有紅色東西嗎? - 很好,出發 254 00:13:57,461 --> 00:13:59,839 來吧各位,讓我們拯救世界吧! 255 00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:16,146 救命,把你的紅色東西丟過來 256 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:21,193 - 接得好 - 不是這個紅色東西 257 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,083 我們都死定了 258 00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:39,295 我牙縫裡卡了玉米粒嗎? 259 00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:42,923 很好,謝了 260 00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:49,596 先說清楚 261 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:52,933 你會後製修圖,幫我修出蜜桃翹臀吧? 262 00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:56,103 - 媽 - 怎麼這個表情? 263 00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:58,479 我們說好妳今天都要正能量 264 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:02,233 我很正向,非常確定,我們全都要... 265 00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:05,403 整個木棧道就要被海嘯沖走了 266 00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,990 妳有看到那道無比巨浪嗎? 還要繼續維持正能量嗎? 267 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,202 老天爺啊 268 00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:14,412 快跑! 269 00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:16,123 別跑,妳得付錢 270 00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:18,791 這就是為什麼我們必須先收錢 271 00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:21,378 真不敢相信 你竟然比我先得到副理的職位 272 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,465 老闆,我沒看到你站在這 273 00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:27,634 想活命就快逃啊! 274 00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:29,762 有海嘯! 275 00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:32,972 女士們,請放鬆 276 00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:35,224 我們可以放輕鬆嗎? 因為海嘯是假警報? 277 00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:37,852 不,不...肯定是有的 278 00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:40,898 超淺潮汐就是鐵錚錚的線索 279 00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:45,109 妳們可以放輕鬆 因為等到警訊如此明顯時 280 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:46,611 要跑已經太遲了 281 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,989 這種時候,根本逃不了 282 00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:51,658 要問我的建議? 283 00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:56,246 善用僅有的最後一點時間 好好跟妳愛的人道別 284 00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:59,333 我是其中之一嗎? 285 00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,633 親愛的,大事不妙 286 00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,885 我今天過得超不順 妳根本不懂什麼才是不妙 287 00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:12,971 海嘯就要摧毀木棧道 288 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,597 現在要逃已經來不及了 289 00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:15,683 我們完蛋了 290 00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:19,519 那會摧毀這些機器吧? 把所有分數清除? 291 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:24,232 對,它會摧毀木棧道上 一切事物和所有人 292 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:27,819 包含那個孩子 那我們就會打成平手一起死 293 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:31,073 如果這是上帝的旨意,就照做吧 我沒資格質疑 294 00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:35,786 我們煉獄見吧,混蛋 295 00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:40,624 我們全都死定了 296 00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:44,585 這不公平,我們應該要有更多時間相處 297 00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:46,213 我知道,甜心 298 00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:49,090 不該發生這種事的 299 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:51,176 你應該要活得比我久 300 00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:54,304 然後在我的葬禮獻唱《風中殘燭》 301 00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:56,473 我不會讓你就這樣犧牲 302 00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:02,145 這是我的遺願,看誰找到你就交給誰 303 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,898 孩子,你好棒 304 00:17:05,482 --> 00:17:08,360 今天帶著你長大 是我這輩子最驕傲的事 305 00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:14,615 對不起 306 00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:17,285 我真不該數落妳的負面思考 307 00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:19,705 或要妳成為不像自己的樣子 308 00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:23,374 現在看來妳的生存本能很強 309 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:24,292 謝了,媽 310 00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:27,712 只是因為二十年前 我在木棧道上的回憶 311 00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:30,339 是我這輩子最美好的週末 312 00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:33,885 等一下,這些都是一個週末的事? 313 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:37,680 天啊,抱歉我又不住在海邊 我不是海星 314 00:17:37,681 --> 00:17:41,642 但也許我在提出問題的時候 應該先篩選過 315 00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:43,186 但它們確實存在 316 00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,939 如果妳看不到那些問題 就找不到解決方法 317 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,068 現在我們有個大問題 318 00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:50,903 但卻沒有解決方法 319 00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:55,073 寶貝,發生什麼事?算了,我們沒時間 320 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,242 等我們慢慢被淹死時再跟我說 321 00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:00,788 這個太妃糖動都不動 322 00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:11,006 這東西很堅固 323 00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:16,177 問題,解法 324 00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:19,305 繼續拉,我們要把這東西拉長 包圍整個木棧道 325 00:18:19,306 --> 00:18:20,891 做成一座可口的防護牆 326 00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:24,143 這要搞到什麼時候? 327 00:18:24,144 --> 00:18:27,230 需要《職業摔角畫報》1994年 328 00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:30,400 最有影響力的摔角手幫忙嗎? 329 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,745 看看這些空桌 330 00:18:42,746 --> 00:18:45,916 好運終於來了,來吧 331 00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,503 幸福的國度 332 00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:53,006 - 我覺得自己好重要 - 抱歉 333 00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,883 其實我們需要這張桌子 334 00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:59,262 - 什麼?大家都走了 - 這個地方很快就要成為漂流木 335 00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:02,723 對,但在那之前我們有組多人訂位 336 00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:06,978 所以歡迎繼續在酒吧候位,或逃跑 337 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,063 妳就是故意這樣,對吧? 338 00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:10,857 妳一整天都在找我們麻煩 339 00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:13,568 但妳一定是把我們 錯認成其他愚蠢的客人 340 00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:16,362 我們會在酒吧等即將襲來的海嘯 341 00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:17,488 非常感謝 342 00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:20,951 要是我們有人生還 我們會回來確認桌位的 343 00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:26,582 我知道你現在不想聽這個 344 00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:28,834 但我其實有帶錢包 345 00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:37,049 海莉,妳有多肯定這東西有效? 346 00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:39,928 完全沒把握,可以正面思考嗎?老媽 347 00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,488 - 成功了! - 謝天謝地! 348 00:19:59,489 --> 00:20:01,074 不,我的滾球地獄 349 00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:04,660 海莉,妳救了數百人,做得好 350 00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:05,579 謝謝,媽 351 00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:09,790 諾亞,我的小寶貝,找到你了 352 00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:11,375 謝謝你幫忙看著他 353 00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:13,711 他爸忘記今天下午有壘球賽 354 00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:15,922 高中壘球,他固定要收看 355 00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:20,219 諾亞,今天真是難忘的一天 是時候跟你的家人團聚 356 00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:24,556 - 我永遠都會珍惜我們相處的時光 - 怪胎,離我的孩子遠點 357 00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:29,519 諾亞,我永遠都會記得你 我們快離開這鬼地方 358 00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:35,025 - 那傑夫呢? - 海鷗回來了,交給牠們 359 00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:44,034 (一週後,法國海岸) 360 00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:49,206 救救我們,可頌麵糰! 361 00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:02,177 {\an8}字幕翻譯: Yu Feng Chang