1 00:00:03,525 --> 00:00:05,831 Roger, how are the ice-skating lesson going? 2 00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,268 Harder than I thought. 3 00:00:07,311 --> 00:00:09,183 I didn't realize I'd be teaching them. 4 00:00:09,226 --> 00:00:11,620 [ Air horn blares] 5 00:00:11,663 --> 00:00:15,624 You douche-B's ready for my big bachelor party weekend? 6 00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:18,322 Klaus, bachelor parties are for men who are getting married. 7 00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:20,286 You're not a man, and you're not getting married. 8 00:00:20,324 --> 00:00:22,283 Case closed. Guilty of being wrong. 9 00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:24,502 Your sentencing will be Monday at 9:00 a.m. 10 00:00:24,546 --> 00:00:26,200 But that's when I'm getting married! 11 00:00:26,243 --> 00:00:28,332 Married to your work? 12 00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:29,725 No, no, that can't be it. 13 00:00:29,768 --> 00:00:31,770 To my girlfriend, Shoshanna. 14 00:00:31,814 --> 00:00:34,208 Shoe Hannah? The old woman in the park 15 00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:36,210 who sells shoes out of a baby stroller? 16 00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:37,254 Shoshanna! 17 00:00:37,298 --> 00:00:39,082 She used to live in Steve's room. 18 00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:41,084 She smoked cigarettes on his bed. 19 00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:42,216 Ohh! 20 00:00:42,259 --> 00:00:44,087 You mean Francine! 21 00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:45,480 Seriously, guys? 22 00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:47,743 I've been talking about it all year! 23 00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:50,354 I asked Shoshanna to marry me. 24 00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:52,313 She choked a little bit on her Kahlúa, 25 00:00:52,356 --> 00:00:54,097 and she said she'll think about it! 26 00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:56,926 Shoshanna said yes! 27 00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:59,276 Well, she said, "Yeah, I guess," but it still counts. 28 00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:01,539 She backed out! 29 00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:03,846 She's back in! 30 00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:06,762 She backed out! 31 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,809 She's back in! I'm getting married next week! 32 00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:13,029 I think I'm gonna take ice-skating lessons. 33 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,204 Good for you! Way to go! 34 00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:15,814 That's amazing! Good luck! 35 00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:16,815 Married? 36 00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:18,165 I'm getting married! 37 00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:19,601 To your work? 38 00:01:19,644 --> 00:01:21,168 No, no, that can't be it. 39 00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:24,823 The wedding is Monday at 9:00 a.m., 40 00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:27,478 and the bachelor party is this weekend. 41 00:01:27,522 --> 00:01:29,219 You guys have to come. 42 00:01:29,263 --> 00:01:30,960 According to an article I read, 43 00:01:31,003 --> 00:01:33,286 if you don't have anyone else with you on your bachelor party, 44 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:34,355 it's sad. 45 00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:35,704 Hmm. 46 00:01:35,747 --> 00:01:37,203 I really don't want to hang out with Klaus. 47 00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:38,185 Me, neither. 48 00:01:38,228 --> 00:01:40,187 I suppose the bachelor party 49 00:01:40,230 --> 00:01:42,319 is the most sacred of men's parties. 50 00:01:42,363 --> 00:01:46,323 To deny it would be to deny God, the most sacred bachelor of all. 51 00:01:46,367 --> 00:01:47,368 Sounds like fun! 52 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:48,630 No kids allowed. 53 00:01:48,673 --> 00:01:50,980 Just Stan, Roger, and Jeff. 54 00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,373 Wow! I'm Jeff! 55 00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:55,158 Hayley, since the men are going away, 56 00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:57,769 you and I should have a fun girls' weekend! 57 00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,293 Let's get a stripper. 58 00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:00,424 Mom! 59 00:02:00,468 --> 00:02:01,860 Yes! 60 00:02:01,904 --> 00:02:04,254 Hmm. I guess this could bean opportunity 61 00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:06,865 to learn about the complicated world of sex workers. 62 00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:08,650 No kids allowed, Steve. 63 00:02:08,693 --> 00:02:10,347 So, I have to spend the whole weekend 64 00:02:10,391 --> 00:02:13,089 not hanging outwith either of my parents? 65 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:16,310 I hate my liiiife! 66 00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:21,228 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. 67 00:02:21,271 --> 00:02:25,319 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 68 00:02:25,362 --> 00:02:28,191 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 69 00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:32,674 ♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪ 70 00:02:34,502 --> 00:02:38,070 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say 71 00:02:38,114 --> 00:02:40,334 ♪ Good -- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. 72 00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:41,422 Aah! 73 00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:46,296 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. 74 00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,646 ♪♪ 75 00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:51,432 2010 Sebring convertible. 76 00:02:51,475 --> 00:02:53,260 It's on the secret menu at Hertz. 77 00:02:53,303 --> 00:02:55,131 Remind me why we're going to West Virginia 78 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,654 for your party, Klaus. 79 00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:59,614 Because it's home to the world's largest sycamore tree. 80 00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:01,268 My boy Scooter got a blow job there, 81 00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:03,661 and I'm gonna put his ashes under it. 82 00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:06,360 Now, guys, I downloaded 83 00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:09,014 "Joe Rogan's Ultimate Bachelor Party Checklist." 84 00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:10,625 Let's check every box. 85 00:03:10,668 --> 00:03:14,455 First item -- "Make a joke about the bride." 86 00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:16,500 Stan, make a joke about Shoshanna. 87 00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:17,240 Who's Shoshanna? 88 00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:19,460 Ohh! Good one, Stan! 89 00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:21,113 Okay, what's next? 90 00:03:21,157 --> 00:03:23,377 "Talk about your favorite thing." 91 00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:26,423 I like long eyelashes on babies. 92 00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:28,251 Mine's the Instant Pot. 93 00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:31,298 Shosh and I are doing so many easy, healthy meals 94 00:03:31,341 --> 00:03:32,342 in our Instant Pot. 95 00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:33,387 Wait a second. 96 00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:36,390 Klaus, have you met someone? 97 00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:38,740 ♪♪ 98 00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:42,483 Any second now, Rick Rod from Rod Hard Entertainment 99 00:03:42,526 --> 00:03:44,963 is gonna walk through that front door! 100 00:03:45,007 --> 00:03:48,837 Every time I look at his picture, I get so hot, hot, hot! 101 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:49,881 Mm-mmm! 102 00:03:49,925 --> 00:03:51,840 Now, this is a man. 103 00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:52,971 Can I see a man? 104 00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:54,538 Get outta here! 105 00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:57,280 I'm trying to get hot with my daughter, not my son! 106 00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:58,934 [ Doorbell rings ]He's here! 107 00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:06,637 Hello, ladies. 108 00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:08,509 You're disappointed. I can tell. 109 00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:11,076 I can read people like other people can read a book. 110 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,643 You don't look like your picture. 111 00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:15,342 I know! That guy is so hot! 112 00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:19,998 No, no, no, no! 113 00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:23,088 The batteries -- Mm! The batteries are dead. 114 00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,394 It's okay. 115 00:04:24,438 --> 00:04:26,875 Ahh, calm otter floating in a river. 116 00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:28,442 Where do you keep your "D" batteries? 117 00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:30,008 We don't have any "D" batteries. 118 00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:32,707 You don't have a single "D" battery 119 00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:36,101 in this castle, Your Majesty? 120 00:04:36,145 --> 00:04:37,233 Sorry, we don't have -- 121 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,366 Enough! If I can't dance 122 00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:40,889 to Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative," 123 00:04:40,932 --> 00:04:43,935 then I can't get you ladies slippin' and slidin'. 124 00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:45,720 Stay put. I'm going for batteries. 125 00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:48,157 That's okay. You don't have to come back. 126 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:49,463 We can still pay you. 127 00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:51,465 Yeah, no offense, but your energy 128 00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:52,988 makes me feel very unsafe. 129 00:04:53,031 --> 00:04:54,946 Rick Rod don't leave women high, 130 00:04:54,990 --> 00:04:57,384 and he especially don't leave 'em dry! 131 00:04:57,427 --> 00:04:59,386 Gross. Again, unsafe. 132 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,958 I can't believe we've been "bro-coded" 133 00:05:07,002 --> 00:05:08,351 into a weekend with Klaus. 134 00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:10,005 I told you we shouldn't have come. 135 00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:11,136 Yeah! 136 00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,529 Klaus is... 137 00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:14,270 frustrating! 138 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,272 Jeff, you're a secondary member of the group. 139 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,206 You don't have to have a strong opinion about this. 140 00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:19,231 Oh, good. 141 00:05:19,275 --> 00:05:20,407 Klaus: Check it out! 142 00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:22,147 I got us matching T-shirts 143 00:05:22,191 --> 00:05:24,062 that say "Klaus's Boyz"! 144 00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:27,370 I thought this would never happen, 145 00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:29,285 but the era of replacing an "S" 146 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,593 with a "Z" to make a word cool is over. 147 00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:35,900 Sorry, sleeping people, you sound like snakes now. 148 00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,948 I've always found whiskey-tasting pretentious. 149 00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:42,646 What, am I supposed to just drink this with no Diet Coke? 150 00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:44,605 Why does this bottle have a warning label? 151 00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:46,215 Cool Luann: This whiskey's 400 proof. 152 00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:48,435 If it comes anywhere near a flame, 153 00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:50,480 it'll explode everything. 154 00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:52,264 Whooooa! Whooooa! Whooooa! Whooooa! 155 00:05:52,308 --> 00:05:54,112 Okay, now, go ahead, take a sip of your whiskeys 156 00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:55,659 and shout out any notes you taste. 157 00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:56,660 I taste grapes! 158 00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:59,533 After you tried it. 159 00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:00,751 Edamame! No. 160 00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:01,796 And cocoa.No. 161 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:02,840 Egg.No. 162 00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:04,407 Lime. Rice? No. No. 163 00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:05,452 Mustard.No. 164 00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:06,583 My tongue must be broken 165 00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:08,542 from all the making out I've been doing. 166 00:06:08,585 --> 00:06:10,413 No.You haven't tried yours. 167 00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,763 [ Groans ] 168 00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:14,330 That's good. 169 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,462 And familiar. 170 00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:17,420 When I was a boy, my father said 171 00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:20,554 the juiciest part of the fig tree was the trunk. 172 00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:23,513 So I bit into it and broke all eight of my teeth. 173 00:06:23,557 --> 00:06:24,906 This tastes like baby teeth! 174 00:06:24,949 --> 00:06:26,560 Good palate! 175 00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:28,300 I'm very proud of you! 176 00:06:28,344 --> 00:06:31,216 This gal's really invested in Stan. 177 00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,088 And now that you're dangerously drunk, 178 00:06:33,131 --> 00:06:35,307 it's time for axe throwing. 179 00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:37,571 Axe throwing is the new Big Jenga. 180 00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:41,662 The rules are simple --pick one up and throw it. 181 00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:43,141 Axe throwing is on the checklist! 182 00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:45,274 Do we need an axe-throwing lesson? 183 00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:48,059 Only if you're a [bleep] nerd. 184 00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:55,719 ♪♪ 185 00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:57,504 Klaus picked this place? 186 00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:59,027 This is actually delicious! 187 00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:00,071 Guys! Guys! 188 00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:02,334 Guys! Check out my trick! 189 00:07:02,378 --> 00:07:03,901 Man: Oww! Damn it! 190 00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:05,512 Still a pretty good throw. 191 00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:07,470 But I was trying to do a cartwheel. 192 00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:09,124 These are ribs! 193 00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:12,693 We're having a great time, and it's all because of Klaus! 194 00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:14,869 I smoke my meat for 48 hours 195 00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:17,045 to achieve this texture and flavor. 196 00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:18,525 48 hours?! 197 00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:22,529 Me and Shoshanna's Instant Pot could do this in 10 minutes. 198 00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:24,487 Could it do it in nine minutes? 199 00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:25,836 I don't think so. 200 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,273 Could it do it in eight minutes? 201 00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:30,711 I see where this is going, so I'm going to say yes. 202 00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:33,496 Could it do it in seven minutes? 203 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,629 ♪♪ 204 00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:37,587 Come on, six! Six, six, six. 205 00:07:37,631 --> 00:07:38,893 Sign of the devil! 206 00:07:38,936 --> 00:07:41,112 Hear my prayer, Satan, and bring me a six! 207 00:07:42,374 --> 00:07:43,419 - Six! - Yeah! 208 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,640 All: Satan! Satan! Satan! 209 00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:48,163 Well, this has been a great weekend, 210 00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:49,991 but I'm afraid it's time to wrap it up. 211 00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:51,906 Klaus has to be at the church at 9:00 tomorrow, 212 00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:54,996 and it's our duty as his boyz to get him there on time. 213 00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:57,564 I wish this night didn't have to end. 214 00:07:57,607 --> 00:07:58,913 One more round, then we go? 215 00:07:58,956 --> 00:08:00,915 Let's do it. 216 00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:07,312 Look, Stan, I have weighted dice. 217 00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:09,097 What? Why? We're already winning! 218 00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:10,968 Come on, seven! 219 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:13,754 White dice?! 220 00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:15,799 You boys are cheatin'! 221 00:08:15,843 --> 00:08:17,758 Get 'em! [ Grunts ] 222 00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:20,195 ♪♪ 223 00:08:20,238 --> 00:08:21,588 Why did you do that? 224 00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:23,894 Fighting is on the checklist, bro. 225 00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:25,200 Cool! Mark it off! 226 00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:26,680 [ Taser crackling ] 227 00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:29,421 If the waitress comes back with my Bud Ice, 228 00:08:29,465 --> 00:08:32,555 please have her tuck it into my underpants. 229 00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,949 [ Thud ] 230 00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:36,428 [ Taser crackling ] 231 00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:44,132 [ All groaning ] 232 00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:47,396 Looks like little fish stick and his peas are waking up. 233 00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:49,485 We're not peas. We're boyz. 234 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,573 Klaus's Boyz! 235 00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:51,748 We are a tribe! 236 00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:53,054 We are a tribe! 237 00:08:53,097 --> 00:08:54,664 Jeff! Let us out. 238 00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:56,250 We have a wedding to get to in the morning. 239 00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:58,842 And I have a wedding to go to right now. 240 00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:00,757 Tough Teddy, will you marry me? 241 00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:01,976 Immediately? 242 00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:04,848 Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! 243 00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:08,983 It's 3:00 a.m. now and a five-hour drive to Langley, 244 00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:10,245 so we gotta move. 245 00:09:10,288 --> 00:09:11,594 Jeff, what are you doing? 246 00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:14,858 I'm in a cage, and that makes me sad, 247 00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:19,515 so I'm drowning my sorrows in 400-proof whiskey. 248 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,647 That's it! 249 00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:22,050 Roger, I assume you have a lighter. 250 00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:23,606 I do! Somewhere on me. 251 00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,782 That very hip lady at the whiskey tasting 252 00:09:25,826 --> 00:09:28,872 said if this alcohol comes near a flame, it... 253 00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:30,744 [ Explosion ] 254 00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:38,447 Stan, the casino exploded before I could lend you my lighter. 255 00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:39,840 I can't believe we're all alive! 256 00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:40,797 [ All gasp ] 257 00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:42,016 What? What is it? 258 00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:43,104 Am I hurt? 259 00:09:44,932 --> 00:09:45,759 Yes. 260 00:09:45,802 --> 00:09:46,802 [ Whistle blowing ] 261 00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:51,765 Look out! He's calling the Von Trapp children! 262 00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:54,898 [ Dogs barking, growling ] 263 00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:55,856 Oh, that makes more sense. 264 00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:57,118 Run! 265 00:09:57,161 --> 00:09:59,686 ♪♪ 266 00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:02,906 [ Pounding on door ] 267 00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:06,301 Ready to get hor-nay? 268 00:10:06,344 --> 00:10:08,433 It's the middle of the night. 269 00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:09,933 It took me a while to find a Walgreens 270 00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:11,480 that would let me in without a shirt. 271 00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:12,916 Can I come in? No. 272 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,136 You're just like Walgreens! 273 00:10:15,179 --> 00:10:16,441 Hey, everybody! 274 00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:18,922 This house ordered a stripper! 275 00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:19,836 - What? - Oh, my! 276 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,229 Man: At the Smiths? 277 00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:23,144 Fine! Come in. Come in. 278 00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:24,928 I was just kidding! 279 00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:25,929 Oh, it's a joke. 280 00:10:25,973 --> 00:10:28,845 - Oh, okay. - That's pretty funny. 281 00:10:28,889 --> 00:10:30,542 Who are you? 282 00:10:30,586 --> 00:10:32,588 It's my weekend with my 300-pound son, Mason. 283 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,285 He was getting restless in the car, 284 00:10:34,329 --> 00:10:36,070 so I told him to go in through the back. 285 00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:39,247 Now, to turn you on! 286 00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:40,727 [ Button clicking ] 287 00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:43,817 Oh, no! No, no, no, no! 288 00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:47,342 It wasn't the batteries. It was the box itself. 289 00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:48,822 I'm spiraling! 290 00:10:48,865 --> 00:10:50,127 Don't spiral! 291 00:10:50,171 --> 00:10:51,955 I think it's super hot 292 00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:54,131 that you dragged your boombox all the way to Walgreens 293 00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:56,307 and didn't test the batteries before you left. 294 00:10:56,351 --> 00:10:58,092 No, you don't think it's hot! 295 00:10:58,135 --> 00:11:00,181 I'm a failure! 296 00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:01,965 Can I have two red wines? 297 00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:04,968 No! You and Mason need to leave! 298 00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:06,753 Okay, I'm leaving. 299 00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:08,798 Come on, Mason. 300 00:11:08,842 --> 00:11:09,973 Stair fake-out! 301 00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:12,715 [ Footsteps, door opens, slams ] 302 00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:16,153 Steve: Mom! That stripper's in my room! 303 00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:18,547 Now he's opening a vent! 304 00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:19,896 He's in the walls! 305 00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:22,203 He does that sometimes when he's insecure. 306 00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:23,857 Which is basically all the time. 307 00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:26,337 I can't understand why he went into this industry. 308 00:11:26,381 --> 00:11:28,775 He passed the bar on the first try. 309 00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:31,995 Rick Rod: I'm not hiding this body under some judge's robe! 310 00:11:32,039 --> 00:11:34,650 [ Dogs barking ] 311 00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:37,305 Oh, no! 312 00:11:37,348 --> 00:11:39,829 Why did we do this to the car? 313 00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:42,614 The barbecue place! 314 00:11:42,658 --> 00:11:45,008 The meat will throw the dogs off our scent. 315 00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:48,969 ♪♪ 316 00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,797 Stan: Throw all the food at the dogs! 317 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,886 Roger: I'm gonna knock over this whole meat smoker! 318 00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:54,931 [ Straining ][ Crash ] 319 00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:57,368 God, Stan, I could have done it alone! 320 00:11:57,412 --> 00:11:59,109 Jeff: It's working! Thank you, Stan. 321 00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:00,937 I couldn't have done it alone. 322 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,681 All: Klaus's Boyz! 323 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,204 Look what I got while I was in there. 324 00:12:07,248 --> 00:12:09,598 Super-long sausage rope. 325 00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:12,035 Klaus, you idiot! 326 00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:14,385 That sausage leads all the way to the dogs! 327 00:12:14,429 --> 00:12:15,647 [ Laughs ] 328 00:12:15,691 --> 00:12:17,606 Classic Klaus. 329 00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:19,173 [ Sniffing ] 330 00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:21,044 [ Growling ] 331 00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:24,831 ♪♪ 332 00:12:24,874 --> 00:12:25,962 [ Dogs barking ] 333 00:12:26,006 --> 00:12:28,008 Try the cars. It's our only hope. 334 00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:31,011 ♪♪ 335 00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:32,882 [ Door handle rattles ] 336 00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:35,276 You trying to steal my truck? 337 00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:36,973 You seem like a reasonable man. 338 00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:41,456 That I am. 339 00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:43,632 The casino sicked their dogs on us. 340 00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:47,070 We need a car to get our friend to his wedding on time. 341 00:12:47,114 --> 00:12:48,637 You're a bachelor party? 342 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,247 Well, why didn't you say so? 343 00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:52,684 Take my truck! 344 00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:54,948 And hurry. 345 00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:56,863 Here come the dogs! 346 00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:58,038 Good luck! 347 00:12:58,081 --> 00:13:00,605 Love conquers all! Aaah! 348 00:13:00,649 --> 00:13:02,999 Just enough time to get you to your wedding. 349 00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:04,871 Perfect! We'll make it! 350 00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:06,524 Shoot, let me see those keys. 351 00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:08,091 [ Keys jingle ] 352 00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:09,614 Whoops. 353 00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:12,443 Mr. Klaus, are you livin' la vida loco? 354 00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:15,229 Hold on. I need to do a little flashback math. 355 00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:20,234 The white dice plus the sausage rope minus the keys equals... 356 00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:21,757 You're sabotaging us! 357 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,324 Ooh! Aaah! 358 00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:25,239 I have cold feet. 359 00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:27,067 I'm scared to get married. 360 00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:28,111 Crazy Coolidge: Oh, no! 361 00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:31,114 They're chewing up my Air Jordans! 362 00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:32,333 No, don't be scared! 363 00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:33,987 Zendaya is perfect for you! 364 00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:36,424 I worry I'm not good enough. 365 00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,861 You guys didn't even want to spend the weekend with me. 366 00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:40,254 Is she really gonna want 367 00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:42,473 to spend the rest of her life with me? 368 00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:45,912 They're working their way up my Ed Hardy jeans! 369 00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:47,043 [ Fabric tearing ] 370 00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:49,219 Klaus, we shouldn't have said that. 371 00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:52,005 If you're as good a husband as you are a friend, 372 00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:53,876 she is one lucky lady. 373 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,051 Thanks, Stan. 374 00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:57,140 [ Fabric tearing ]Yep, you guessed it! 375 00:13:57,184 --> 00:14:00,578 My Tommy Hilfiger shirt was next! 376 00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:01,904 Now, let's get you to your wedding. 377 00:14:01,928 --> 00:14:03,886 What about the keys? 378 00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:08,717 Nother set under my Louis Vuitton floor mats! 379 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,110 Aah! 380 00:14:12,590 --> 00:14:14,288 We're gonna make it. 381 00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:16,309 We just have to stop at the dry cleaners to get our suits. 382 00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:19,249 And maybe the drugstore for some Neosporin? 383 00:14:19,293 --> 00:14:20,381 Is someone hurt? 384 00:14:20,424 --> 00:14:22,252 I can't hear so well on this side. 385 00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:23,601 Don't get old. 386 00:14:23,645 --> 00:14:25,125 How 'bout some tunes for the road? 387 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:29,912 ♪ Everybody's talking all this stuff about me ♪ 388 00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:32,959 [ Thinking ] Where do I know that dog from? 389 00:14:33,002 --> 00:14:35,135 Is he from a TV show? 390 00:14:35,178 --> 00:14:36,527 From a movie? 391 00:14:36,571 --> 00:14:38,965 Aaaaahhh, the dog followed us! 392 00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:41,924 Oh! From the chasing us earlier! 393 00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:43,404 We're almost to the cleaners. 394 00:14:43,447 --> 00:14:45,580 We can't get out if the dog is there. 395 00:14:45,623 --> 00:14:46,623 [ Engine revs ] 396 00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:50,280 We need to open the tailgate without stopping the truck. 397 00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:51,542 I'm on it![ Handle cranking ] 398 00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:53,196 ♪ They say I'm nasty ♪ 399 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:56,983 [ Dog barking ]♪ But I don't give a damn ♪ 400 00:14:57,026 --> 00:14:58,985 ♪ Gettin' girls is how I live♪Hit the gas! 401 00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:00,223 [ Tires screech, dog whimpers ] 402 00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:03,076 ♪ Some ask me questions ♪ 403 00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:05,078 ♪ Why am I so real?♪[ Grunting ] 404 00:15:05,121 --> 00:15:06,993 ♪ But they don't understand me ♪ 405 00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:08,995 ♪ Or really don't know the deal ♪ 406 00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:10,363 [ Tires screech ]♪ About a brother ♪ 407 00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:12,607 Aaaaah! 408 00:15:16,872 --> 00:15:18,134 I got our suits! 409 00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:20,397 If we can, I'd love to grab a quick shower 410 00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:22,095 before I throw this baby on. 411 00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:25,794 Is it hot or cold water that gets glass out of your face? 412 00:15:25,837 --> 00:15:27,448 You know what? I'll just push it in. 413 00:15:27,491 --> 00:15:30,103 [ Bell tolling ] 414 00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:31,800 I can't believe the love of my life 415 00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:35,151 is right through these doors waiting to marry me. 416 00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:38,198 I don't know how to thank you guys for getting me here. 417 00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:39,112 Rabies shot. 418 00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:40,461 We're your boyz, Klaus. 419 00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:42,115 You don't have to thank us. 420 00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:45,074 Now, get in there and nail that interview or whatever! 421 00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:47,947 [ Slow organ music playing, people crying ] 422 00:15:50,253 --> 00:15:51,646 Oh, no! 423 00:15:51,689 --> 00:15:55,041 They must've killed Shoshanna because we're late! 424 00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:04,224 Klaus, where's your wedding? 425 00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:06,443 There was never gonna be a wedding. 426 00:16:06,487 --> 00:16:10,012 Shoshanna dumped me six months ago. 427 00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:11,709 You lied about getting married? 428 00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:13,494 Just to have a bachelor party? 429 00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:16,018 No. Just to have friends. 430 00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:18,040 How am I supposed to trick you into hanging out with me 431 00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:19,500 if I don't lie? 432 00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:23,069 But now that I've come clean, can we go out for ice cream? 433 00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:26,246 It is my birthday. 434 00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:28,074 [ Whispering ] Shhhh! This is a librari... 435 00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:29,249 No, it's not, it's a church. 436 00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:31,642 ...ian's funeral. 437 00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:32,861 A librarian died. 438 00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:34,645 Show some respect and be quiet! 439 00:16:34,689 --> 00:16:36,972 [ Whispering ] A lot of people don't know this about Sheila, 440 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,649 but she loved books. 441 00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:40,651 [ Quiet laughter ] 442 00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:43,089 You can't quiet the bachelor boyz! 443 00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:44,481 We're not boyz, Klaus. 444 00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:47,180 We'll never be boyz with a "Z" again. 445 00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:49,138 Let's go. 446 00:16:49,182 --> 00:16:50,879 [ Dog barking ] 447 00:16:50,922 --> 00:16:53,360 [ Whispering ] Noooooooo! 448 00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:57,059 [ Thudding ] 449 00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,495 Hey, kid. 450 00:16:58,539 --> 00:17:00,454 How do we get your dad to come out of the walls? 451 00:17:00,497 --> 00:17:02,543 You gotta challenge him to a dance-off. 452 00:17:02,586 --> 00:17:03,986 Can I get a few minutes to stretch? 453 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,154 Hayley, please. 454 00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:06,460 Steve, go get your fireman hat. 455 00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:09,332 Yay! Weeoo weeoo! 456 00:17:09,376 --> 00:17:11,900 Actually my dad has a stripper rival. 457 00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:13,293 His brother Todd Rod. 458 00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:14,990 If you get my uncle here, 459 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,253 my dad will have to come out for the dance-off. 460 00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:22,128 Anybody need a hose? 461 00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:26,349 We should have trusted our instincts 462 00:17:26,393 --> 00:17:27,698 about a weekend with Klaus. 463 00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:29,483 I feel so duped! 464 00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:31,485 Compliments of the orange gentleman. 465 00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:35,532 Why are there four milks? 466 00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:37,491 He was hoping he could join you. 467 00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:39,580 And that you would pay for the milks. 468 00:17:40,842 --> 00:17:42,496 No. 469 00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:47,936 They're gonna cook him! 470 00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:49,285 And I'm gonna try him. 471 00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:51,679 No, Jeff, he's just working off the milks. 472 00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:53,985 [ Shouting ] 473 00:17:54,029 --> 00:17:57,380 ♪♪ 474 00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:59,165 It's a damn cartoon! 475 00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:00,557 I can't look at this anymore! 476 00:18:00,601 --> 00:18:02,124 I hate cartoons. 477 00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:04,518 They'll do anything for a laugh. 478 00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:07,738 ♪♪ 479 00:18:07,782 --> 00:18:10,176 Ugh! I'll cover the bill. 480 00:18:12,743 --> 00:18:15,181 Thanks, guys. What's up? 481 00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:17,139 What's up is you're a liar, Klaus. 482 00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:18,749 Well, I'm done lying! 483 00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:20,708 Please, let me back in the group! 484 00:18:20,751 --> 00:18:22,971 I only have one week to live! 485 00:18:23,014 --> 00:18:24,277 [ All scoff ]Wait! 486 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,409 You want to hear the truth? 487 00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:28,542 I didn't invent solar panels. 488 00:18:28,585 --> 00:18:32,415 My favorite flavor isn't saffron, it's mayonnaise. 489 00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:34,939 I wish there was mayonnaise gum. 490 00:18:34,983 --> 00:18:38,421 I didn't write the Sublime song "Santeria." 491 00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:40,249 Sublime did. 492 00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:43,165 When I see a child's bike unattended, I steal it. 493 00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:45,994 I still don't know who Barack Obama is. 494 00:18:46,037 --> 00:18:48,214 It's okay, Klaus. Just stop. 495 00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:50,303 You can't go through life lying to people. 496 00:18:50,346 --> 00:18:52,174 I know! 497 00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:54,568 I wasn't lying about loving the Instant Pot! 498 00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:57,223 But Shoshanna got to keep it in the breakup. 499 00:18:57,266 --> 00:19:00,051 I'll never see it again. 500 00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:01,792 Check this guy out, lyin' again. 501 00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:03,403 Jeff and Roger, no! 502 00:19:03,446 --> 00:19:05,753 You're gonna see that Instant Pot again. 503 00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,972 'Cause your boyz are gonna get it back. 504 00:19:08,016 --> 00:19:10,888 [ Gasps ] You're my boyz again? 505 00:19:10,932 --> 00:19:12,455 With a "Z," my dude. 506 00:19:12,499 --> 00:19:13,891 [ Water gushing, man screaming ] 507 00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:16,329 ♪♪ 508 00:19:16,372 --> 00:19:18,722 Powerful stream. 509 00:19:21,464 --> 00:19:24,250 You guys have one song to show us your best moves. 510 00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:26,426 We choose the winner, then you leave forever. 511 00:19:26,469 --> 00:19:28,689 We need music. 512 00:19:28,732 --> 00:19:32,301 Dance now, or I'll shoot you with my husband's guns. 513 00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:37,437 ♪ Everybody's talking... what about ♪♪ Everybody's talking[grunts] stuff ♪ 514 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,047 ♪ Why don't -- Move over. 515 00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:42,355 Left-foot stutter step.♪ Live... why don't... 516 00:19:42,398 --> 00:19:44,357 In my way! Mm-hmm, yeah. 517 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,097 ♪ Why don't people just... Ooh! 518 00:19:46,141 --> 00:19:47,292 ♪ Made my... Hurts, don't it? Tell your friends. 519 00:19:47,316 --> 00:19:49,100 ♪ Chillin' Unh! 520 00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:51,364 ♪ They say I'm nasty Yeah, oh, you can't touch. 521 00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:54,323 ♪ Why don't they [Mumbles] ♪ They say I'm crazy 522 00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:57,457 [ Mumbles ] 523 00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,023 ♪ Tell me why 524 00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:00,286 Prerogative! Prerogative! 525 00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:02,505 Ugh, my prostate. 526 00:20:02,549 --> 00:20:04,464 Honestly, Rick was better. 527 00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:06,466 Yeah, watching Rick compared to Todd 528 00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:09,077 did give me a brief tingle in my downtown tinsel town. 529 00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:10,480 I have to agree with my colleagues. 530 00:20:10,513 --> 00:20:13,255 Yes! Up yours, Todd! 531 00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:14,952 That'll be eight dollars, ma'am. 532 00:20:14,996 --> 00:20:17,041 What? You got two dancers. 533 00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:18,695 I had to charge you double. 534 00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:20,871 [ Knock on door ] 535 00:20:20,915 --> 00:20:23,134 Klaus, what are you doing here? 536 00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:27,443 Shoshanna, what we had was too beautiful to just throw away. 537 00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:29,315 I've been thinking the same thing. 538 00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:30,272 Wait, really? 539 00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:32,622 Yes, I miss you. 540 00:20:32,666 --> 00:20:34,189 Guys, abort! 541 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,451 I love you, Shoshanna! 542 00:20:35,495 --> 00:20:37,192 The wedding is back on! 543 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,411 [ Glass shatters ] 544 00:20:38,454 --> 00:20:40,674 I got it, Klaus! I got the Instant Pot. 545 00:20:40,717 --> 00:20:42,023 [ Tires screech ] 546 00:20:43,416 --> 00:20:46,680 You only came to get the Instant Pot? 547 00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:48,899 Screw you, Klaus! 548 00:20:48,943 --> 00:20:51,337 Don't ever contact me again! 549 00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:52,947 No doi, he hates you. 550 00:20:52,990 --> 00:20:54,557 Klaus: No, now they're the liars! 551 00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:56,298 [ Tires screech ] 552 00:20:56,342 --> 00:20:57,343 Together: Klaus's Boyz! 553 00:20:57,386 --> 00:21:02,522 Klaus: Shoshanna! 554 00:21:02,565 --> 00:21:04,175 Bye-bye! See you soon!