1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,169 [♪ eerie music playing] 2 00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:07,466 [♪ eerie music increases in tempo] 3 00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:10,636 [page rustles] 4 00:00:13,889 --> 00:00:14,890 {\an8}[page rustles] 5 00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,064 {\an8}[Roger] And as we lay our brother to rest, 6 00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:23,982 we remember the man he was. 7 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:27,486 A proud Martian, raised in the Northern Lowlands. 8 00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:29,988 His parents named him "Daryl". I think? 9 00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:31,865 {\an8}He might have actually told me "Carol". 10 00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:33,450 {\an8}Or maybe even "Daryl". 11 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,202 {\an8}Bottom line, I didn't know him well. 12 00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:37,454 {\an8}But because he was our only congregant, 13 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:40,582 {\an8}I tried to engage with him, but he was so low energy. 14 00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:42,417 {\an8}One time, I made boozy popsicles 15 00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,419 {\an8}from the sacramental wine. Fun, right? 16 00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:47,339 {\an8}Well, he took one, but just one, and he nursed it. 17 00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:48,632 {\an8}I had seven, eight. 18 00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:50,551 {\an8}Anyway, let us say amen. 19 00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,222 {\an8}Sorry about the shallow grave, bud. 20 00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,975 {\an8}This Mars gravity sucks for burying stuff. 21 00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,102 {\an8}- [page rustles] - [footsteps tapping] 22 00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:02,437 {\an8}- Refill the wafers. - [rattling] 23 00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:06,275 Charge up the holy water. 24 00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:07,609 [drips] 25 00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:09,861 Now, that's a high meniscus. 26 00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:10,946 Pretty high. 27 00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:13,532 I'm sure you have seen higher, my Lord. 28 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:16,868 Zero foot traffic, and yet the dust keeps comin'. 29 00:01:16,952 --> 00:01:18,453 {\an8}I'm a total pyro, 30 00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:19,746 {\an8}so this is fun for me. 31 00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:21,582 {\an8}[wind howling] 32 00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:27,087 {\an8}What do you say, Lord? 33 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:28,714 {\an8}- Showtime? - [page rustles] 34 00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,799 {\an8}[♪ plays Gustav Merkel's "Prelude in A, Op. 156 nr 10"] 35 00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:33,385 {\an8}♪ Neh, neh, neh ♪ 36 00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:37,180 {\an8}♪ Neh, ne, ne, ♪ 37 00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,016 {\an8}♪ Ne... ♪ 38 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,018 {\an8}♪ And God destroyed the Earth ♪ 39 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,020 {\an8}♪ So he could bring us to Mars ♪ 40 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,939 {\an8}♪ He saved one-sixteenth of the human race ♪ 41 00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:48,400 {\an8}♪ And taught us how to fly cars ♪ 42 00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:50,152 {\an8}Thank you, Lord, 43 00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:53,030 {\an8}for blessing me with another day on this barren planet. 44 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,449 {\an8}I also thank you for all the tedious cleaning, 45 00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:57,034 {\an8}which you leave totally to me. 46 00:01:57,117 --> 00:02:00,245 {\an8}Then there's the Mars dust, which, like you, great Lord, 47 00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:02,581 {\an8}is present all the time, everywhere, 48 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:05,876 {\an8}and in everything. In every orifice of my body. 49 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:06,960 {\an8}Thank you. 50 00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:09,463 {\an8}But, Lord, what I really want is a flock. 51 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,006 {\an8}It's feeling like flock time. 52 00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:12,090 {\an8}Or start slow, 53 00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:14,301 {\an8}send me one soul to save. Or ten. 54 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,428 {\an8}Look, I'mma-- I'm not gonna tell you how to do your job. 55 00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:18,597 Okay, that's it. Amen. 56 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,265 [♪ eerie music playing] 57 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,101 [rattling] 58 00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:24,436 [drips] 59 00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:25,812 [duster scratching] 60 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:30,734 [wind howling] 61 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,944 What do you say, Lord? [gasps] 62 00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:35,697 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God! 63 00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,532 A soul to save! 64 00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:38,867 And I'm ready! 65 00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:41,495 Ready and waiting! Do I have time to pee? 66 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:44,956 Hello? Anybody here? 67 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,124 [toilet flushing] 68 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,002 Sorry, I thought I just had to pee, 69 00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:50,962 but God is bountiful. 70 00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,631 I'm Father Roger, by the way. 71 00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:53,799 Put 'er there. 72 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,635 - [kisses] - Oh. That's nice. 73 00:02:56,718 --> 00:03:00,263 Father Roger, I've been wandering a long time. 74 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,140 I'm just so very tired. 75 00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:03,558 Okay, well, that sack looks heavy, 76 00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:04,685 maybe put that down? 77 00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:05,852 No, it's not that. 78 00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:08,063 Have you tried resting? Sleeping at night, 79 00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:09,690 so you have energy during the day? 80 00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:12,025 [sighs] I'm tired in a spiritual sense. 81 00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:14,611 Oh, okay, then I'm your man! 82 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,613 I've never felt at peace. 83 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:19,116 I think because I never embraced the Lord. 84 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,201 But I feel ready to walk his path. 85 00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:22,786 Yay! 86 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,496 Okay, first off, yay. 87 00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:27,040 Secondly, your wandering days are over. 88 00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:30,502 Now, you're riding shotgun with me and G-O-D. 89 00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:32,462 Oh, that sounds nice. 90 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,131 But, Father, can I ask, 91 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,924 where's the rest of your congregation? 92 00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:37,008 Oh, they're comin'. 93 00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:38,844 Just taking a little longer than I thought. 94 00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:42,139 After they terraformed Mars, this town was about to boom, 95 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,057 but then, it just... it just didn't. 96 00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,308 Maybe 'cause of the dust? 97 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,935 Which I love. [coughing] 98 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,311 You... You get used to it. 99 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,729 [continues coughing] 100 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:52,816 Lousy... [coughs] ...dust ruining my life. [clears throat] 101 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:53,984 Anyway, welcome. 102 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,485 I don't mind the dust, actually. 103 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,864 [coughing] Oh, then you're gonna love dust season. 104 00:03:58,947 --> 00:03:59,948 I've learned to love it. 105 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:02,159 Besides, I don't have the space bucks to go anywhere. 106 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,493 You know how that goes. 107 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,829 Nice boots. Tecovas? 108 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:06,913 Space Tecovas. 109 00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,457 So, what do you say? 110 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:09,833 Me, you and the Lord, 111 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,793 we build this congregation together? 112 00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:14,212 Well, I say, let's do it! 113 00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:16,089 [both coughing] 114 00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:18,884 That's just a taste of what's to come. 115 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:22,846 [snoring] 116 00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:27,350 Lord, I know I often use this time to power cry. 117 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,186 But today, I wanna thank you. 118 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,021 I asked for a soul to save, 119 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,647 and that's what you sent me. 120 00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,317 [Scheming Roger] Are you sure about that? 121 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,610 Oh, not you again. 122 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:37,778 Just... Just hear me out. 123 00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:40,280 Maybe the Lord hasn't sent you a soul to save. 124 00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,532 Maybe he sent you an opportunity. 125 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,493 I'm not listening. Go on. 126 00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:45,786 The man's rich. 127 00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:46,870 Those boots! 128 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,663 Plus, the sack he won't put down. 129 00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:50,457 I did notice the sack. 130 00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:51,583 What do you think's in there? 131 00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:53,418 Money. Our ticket out of here. 132 00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,295 I can't rob him, I'm a priest! 133 00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:56,463 To no one! 134 00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:58,673 Think about it, we could leave Mars, 135 00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:02,219 go to a big city with lots of souls to save. A flock. 136 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,471 I'm so ready for a flock. 137 00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:05,722 So, what you're saying is, 138 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,641 we would sneak in, grab the sack, 139 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:09,476 and be gone before he even woke up? 140 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:10,852 [floorboard creaking] 141 00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:12,938 I didn't hear anything. 142 00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:14,898 Get him! 143 00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,484 - [Roger and Lewis groaning] - [objects clattering] 144 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:18,652 [thudding] 145 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,196 [grunts] 146 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,739 [thuds] 147 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,033 Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. 148 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,994 This crucifix is so jagged, 149 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:29,579 there should be a warning label. 150 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:32,374 [sighs] I feel so bad. 151 00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,376 But this sack isn't gonna look in itself! 152 00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,753 - Release the jewels! - [clatters] 153 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,256 What? Shoe polish? 154 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,549 And some book? 155 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:43,552 [reading] 156 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:46,847 Ugh, I've read this. 157 00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:51,351 And, as we lay our brother to rest, 158 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,395 we remember the man he was. 159 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:56,356 A liar who acted all rich when he was not. 160 00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:58,191 And then, something happened to him. 161 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,151 Amen. 162 00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:03,196 What can I say, Lord? I'm sorry, I made a mistake. 163 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,615 But everyone makes mistakes sometimes, right? 164 00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:08,159 I guess now that I look at it, 165 00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:11,162 I have probably made a flock's worth of mistakes. 166 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,373 But that was the old me. 167 00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:15,834 The new me is finally ready to do it right. 168 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:19,087 But I need your help, Lord. I'm asking you one last time, 169 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:22,299 please send me a soul to save! 170 00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:27,596 [reader] Oh, he killed 'em all. That's pretty cool. 171 00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:33,226 - [reader] Well, what's next? - [page rustles] 172 00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:34,603 [♪ eerie music playing] 173 00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:42,402 {\an8}[low-frequency pulsing] 174 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,657 {\an8}[mechanical whirring] 175 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,413 [elevator clanging] 176 00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,377 [♪ suspenseful music plays] 177 00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:01,379 [rocks trickling] 178 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:02,756 - [whip snapping] - [yelps] 179 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,007 Hurry up, maggots! 180 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,467 The collection train is here! 181 00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:08,803 Get those earth materials in your gravel bins! 182 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:12,932 Rocks! 183 00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:14,017 Stones! 184 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,518 - Metals! - Gems! 185 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:16,895 [singing] ♪ Whatever we find ♪ 186 00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,730 [both] ♪ We hands to thems ♪ 187 00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:21,483 Guys, look what I found! 188 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,109 Oh, man. 189 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:26,196 Maybe I'll retire there when I pay off my debt to the company. 190 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:29,032 You'll never pay off your debt to the company. 191 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,617 None of us will. 192 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,994 [beeping, dings] 193 00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:34,412 I just did! 194 00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:39,167 I came here as a baby, but my life is about to begin! 195 00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:40,669 Ow! 196 00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:42,087 Oh. 197 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,881 - [whip snapping] - Dying is against the rules. 198 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:46,716 - [whip snapping] - And what's this? 199 00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:49,344 - Worthless trash. - [crackling] 200 00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:52,555 William, you know you're to turn any materials 201 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:55,975 you find over to the company immediately, William. 202 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,936 - Yes, but-- - Don't worry, 203 00:07:58,019 --> 00:08:00,105 you'll receive a fair trial. 204 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:01,314 [electrical whirring] 205 00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:03,817 And the trial has concluded, you've been sentenced to death. 206 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,403 I respect the court's decision. 207 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,570 [whip snapping] 208 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:10,115 [low-frequency pulsing] 209 00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:13,493 [Klaus] The company thanks you for your years of dedicated service. 210 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:16,329 And on a personal note, I'd just like to say, 211 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,415 yackety yack, don't come back! 212 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,582 [gems jingling] 213 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:21,751 My gems! 214 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,795 And he stole gems? 215 00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:25,922 The punishment was too lenient. 216 00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:28,800 What do you say, Jeffy? 217 00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:30,510 How about a song for the boys? 218 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,595 I don't feel like singin', Al. 219 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,306 Our lives mean nothing to these people. 220 00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:36,433 [shatters] 221 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:40,019 Wait. I might have found something. 222 00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:43,732 [clicks] 223 00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,692 What is it? 224 00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:48,778 Never mind that, just turn it in. 225 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,405 You saw what happened to Billy. 226 00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,115 A kaleidoscope, maybe? 227 00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,117 [scoffs] "Kaleidoscope." 228 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,494 It's clearly an audio device. 229 00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:57,662 Hello? 230 00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,289 Oh, duh! 231 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,541 It's a gag reflex trainer. 232 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,043 [muffled] See? 233 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,961 What's this thing do? 234 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,046 - [gunshot] - Oh! 235 00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:07,714 What was that? 236 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,966 [sputtering] Maybe it was your whip? 237 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,468 Don't talk about my whip! 238 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,844 - [whip snapping] - Ow! 239 00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,387 And don't eyeball my whip! 240 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:15,472 - [whip snapping] - Ah! 241 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,682 - [whip snapping] - Ah! I was just admiring it! 242 00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,851 Coveting my whip is a sin. Two more! 243 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,603 - [whip snapping] - [yelping] 244 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,898 [robotic footsteps receding] 245 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,901 I think this is an old-timey weapon. 246 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,486 We could use it to escape! 247 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,946 Are you nuts? They'd kill us if we got caught. 248 00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:34,157 They're gonna kill us anyway, Al. 249 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,618 We could use this thing to get past the fish, 250 00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:38,620 then slip onto the collection train. 251 00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,789 We don't even know where the train goes! 252 00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,832 Anywhere but here. 253 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:43,917 Just think about it. 254 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,502 [robotic footsteps approaching] 255 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,795 - [Klaus] Hi-yah! - [whip snaps] 256 00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,880 That's a karate-flavored whip-step. 257 00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,256 I invented that. 258 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,342 [low-frequency pulsing] 259 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,386 [snoring, mimics whip snapping] 260 00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:02,310 [♪ eerie music playing] 261 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,482 - [♪ eerie music swells, stops] - [page rustles] 262 00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,820 Good morning, Jeffrey. 263 00:10:11,903 --> 00:10:13,196 Another beautiful day 264 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:16,825 spent together on Earth Fragment 151822. 265 00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:19,494 I dreamed of the beach last night, Al. 266 00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,121 I have to get out of here. 267 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,206 Okay. 268 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:24,624 Then I'm coming, too. 269 00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:26,543 Wait. Really? 270 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,670 Well, yeah, you're my best friend. 271 00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,171 Let's find this beach. 272 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:33,133 Start that shrimp business we've been talking about. 273 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,176 TuttleJeff Shrimp. 274 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,345 Wow, this is great! 275 00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,722 But did I... Did we... 276 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:42,433 I'm sorry, I don't remember the shrimp thing. 277 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:43,810 Maybe I just thought it. 278 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,186 Anyway, what's the plan? 279 00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,271 [page rustles] 280 00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:49,357 [elevator whirring, thuds] 281 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,068 [♪ eerie music plays] 282 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,112 - [whip snapping] - Hurry up, you maggots! 283 00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:55,655 The collection train is here! 284 00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,492 What are you maggots doing? 285 00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:01,911 - We're escaping! - Yeah! 286 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,955 This is a weapon! 287 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,915 - Like a mini whip? - No! 288 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,543 Like an old-timey space blaster. 289 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:09,919 We'll shoot you with it! 290 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,421 I'm skeptical. 291 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:12,922 - [mechanical whirring] - [gun fires] 292 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,048 [Dick] Ow! 293 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,508 Come on! 294 00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:17,093 Sorry, Dick! 295 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,511 Okay, I believe you. 296 00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:20,305 [whip tightens] 297 00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:24,267 What kind of sicko ties a fish up with his own beloved whip? 298 00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:27,187 {\an8}[Jeff] Quick! The train! 299 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:30,648 [low-frequency pulsing] 300 00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,319 [whip snapping] 301 00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:35,570 [screaming] 302 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:38,615 Big mistake using my own whip against me. 303 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,491 It motivated me like crazy! 304 00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,202 [mechanical whirring] 305 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,079 Unwhip my friend! 306 00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:47,665 You're not gonna shoot. 307 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,253 [laughs wickedly] 308 00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:53,880 - [water trickling] - Nice try, maggot! 309 00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:56,299 Wait! Why is my water draining? [gasps] 310 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,509 [whirring] 311 00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:01,346 [coughing, gasping] 312 00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:02,972 My only regret... 313 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,766 is not whipping you 314 00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:07,352 even more constantly. 315 00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:08,603 [power draining] 316 00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:11,147 You did it, Jeff, we're free! 317 00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:13,066 [Jeff] Sorry, Al. 318 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:16,653 When I fired this thing, it launched me into space. 319 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,446 Well, fire it the other way! 320 00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:20,114 Fire your way back to me! 321 00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:22,617 - [gun clicks] - It's empty! 322 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:24,077 Grab hold! 323 00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:25,662 Hold on! 324 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,413 - I'm comin' to get ya! - No! 325 00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:30,250 If you step off that train, you're dead. 326 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:33,419 We were gonna find that beach together. 327 00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:37,257 I know. But, hey, don't feel bad for me. 328 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,133 I made it out of the mines! 329 00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:41,678 What about TuttleJeff Shrimp Company? 330 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,721 Promise me you won't do it. 331 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:46,432 Oh. Did you not like the idea? 332 00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:49,727 There are a lot of challenges in that business. 333 00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:51,562 - [static hissing] - Sourcing the shrimp. 334 00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:54,190 - [static hissing] - Fostering brand partnerships. 335 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,525 - [static hissing] - I mean, 336 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,986 do we even know there are oceans left? 337 00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,195 [static hissing] 338 00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:01,531 He's afraid of success. 339 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:02,949 [static hissing] 340 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:06,577 [Jeff] But I would have loved working with you... 341 00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:07,829 friend. 342 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,289 [rising electric hum] 343 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,924 [reader] Hmm, seems like something happened to Earth? 344 00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:24,846 [page rustles] 345 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,222 [♪ suspenseful music playing] 346 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:28,641 {\an8}[page rustles] 347 00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:31,477 {\an8}[♪ music continues] 348 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,398 {\an8}[electrical buzzing] 349 00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:51,289 [conveyor belt whirring] 350 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,207 [cutlery clattering] 351 00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,127 [squeaks] 352 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,211 [page rustles] 353 00:13:57,295 --> 00:14:00,006 Breakfast service was a most honorable effort. 354 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,675 Your lab-grown eggs were a triumph, daughter. 355 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,510 And what of my potato croquette? 356 00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:08,222 Good. But I believe a creamier interior is yet possible, son. 357 00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:11,184 Father, I've been thinking, 358 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,603 maybe it is time for me to grow a child. 359 00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:16,522 You believe you're ready 360 00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:19,525 to take a baby out of the genetic recombinator, daughter? 361 00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:22,028 Indeed, it feels like it were just yesterday 362 00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:25,865 that Mrs. Smith and I were taking you out of the genetic recombinator. 363 00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:27,033 I will think on it. 364 00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,993 - I feel-- - I said I will think on it! 365 00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:30,203 Now, lunch service. 366 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,370 Mrs. Smith? 367 00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:35,416 A summer corn salad, followed by a corn salmon escabeche 368 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:39,420 with blue corn tortillas, and a duet of corn desserts. 369 00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,714 We've got a lot of corn right now. 370 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,549 We've just gotta... 371 00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:45,301 put a dent in this corn. 372 00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:48,221 There is the matter of the corn cutter and creamer tool. 373 00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:49,931 - What matter? - It's broken. 374 00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:52,934 The creaming edge is badly warped and must be replaced. 375 00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,560 You'll check the spare parts drawer. 376 00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:57,271 Or perhaps, we could ask for a new tool? 377 00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:59,816 You could go... upstairs? 378 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,317 - [all gasping] - Upstairs? 379 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,611 We do not go upstairs, son. 380 00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:05,530 You say that, but why not? 381 00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,490 - [chair scraping] - Because it is not protocol! 382 00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,450 {\an8}I've never done it, my father never did it, 383 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:10,910 {\an8}his father never did it! 384 00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:13,412 We do not call on the Upstairs. 385 00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:14,622 "The Upstairs." 386 00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:16,165 - [bangs] - Have they ever even thanked us 387 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,542 for what we do down here? 388 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,335 I do not know the Upstairs! 389 00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,003 And you will not know the Upstairs! 390 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,089 It is by design that we do not know them, 391 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,715 and that they do not know us. 392 00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,635 [mechanical door beeps, whirs] 393 00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:30,096 [scoffs] "Go upstairs." 394 00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:31,764 For a simple repair? 395 00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,641 The boy just doesn't love protocol, 396 00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:37,019 which makes no sense, because loving protocol is protocol. 397 00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:40,523 [clicking] 398 00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:41,607 [straining] 399 00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:43,943 [Stan] Ow! 400 00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:45,153 [mechanical door beeps, whirs] 401 00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:47,488 Although I've made great progress on the repair, 402 00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:49,282 the corn cutter and creamer tool 403 00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:51,033 will not be ready for lunch service. 404 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,661 We must make do with the paring knives for now. 405 00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,038 [mechanical door beeps, whirs] 406 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,749 - [chair scraping] - Paring knife to cream corn. 407 00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:01,252 Give me strength, Space Jesus. 408 00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:03,337 - [page rustles] - Okay. 409 00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:06,632 One gram too much parsley, but also okay. 410 00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:09,719 [gasps] Unseparated corn kernels? 411 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,512 Have we standards here, or no? 412 00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,848 If I just had the proper tools, Father! 413 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:16,726 We'll speak of this later when I'm not trembling with rage. 414 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,019 [page rustles] 415 00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:19,645 [mechanical door beeps, whirs] 416 00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:22,190 Yes, I know, lunch service was a disaster. 417 00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:26,027 About that, Mr. Smith, I was consulting the protocol manual. 418 00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:27,987 Ah, the protocol manual. 419 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:33,284 {\an8}Yes, and according to Article 14, rule 3-22-P, 420 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:36,495 {\an8}"The Downstairs can go upstairs 421 00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:38,289 {\an8}in cases of emergency." 422 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:42,793 {\an8}So, you will travel upstairs then and request a new tool? 423 00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:45,963 Mrs. Smith, can we speak informally for a moment? 424 00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:47,465 - Certainly. - I'm scared. 425 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:48,841 I've never gone upstairs! 426 00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,176 I do not know their ways! 427 00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:51,844 What if I make a fool of myself? 428 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:54,305 Oh, you could never do that, Mr. Smith. 429 00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:55,723 You are Mr. Smith. 430 00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:58,267 What if... What if they're mean to me? 431 00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,769 No, I cannot go. 432 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:00,978 Now, please leave me, 433 00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:02,897 I have dinner service bearing down on me. 434 00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:04,899 [mechanical door beeps, whirs] 435 00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:07,318 Oh, come on. 436 00:17:10,655 --> 00:17:12,490 [Stan] Guide me, Fathers. 437 00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:14,659 [mechanical door beeps, whirs] 438 00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:18,037 I will be traveling upstairs. 439 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,121 Yes! 440 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,290 You must dress appropriately for the occasion. 441 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,793 - [bow swishes] - I hope this is still the style. 442 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:27,672 An anniversary bow is always in fashion, Mr. Smith. 443 00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:28,965 [elevator door whirring] 444 00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:35,972 The Protocol Manual. 445 00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:41,269 Thank the gods for Mrs. Smith. 446 00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:43,104 [elevator dings] 447 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:47,316 The Downstairs requests permission to enter. 448 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,652 [sputtering] By the power 449 00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:54,240 {\an8}of Article 14, rule 3-22-P. 450 00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:56,659 [♪ Nat King Cole "El Bodeguero" playing] 451 00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:00,746 Hello? 452 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,123 Article 14? 453 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:09,839 [♪ song grows louder] 454 00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:11,465 [book thuds] 455 00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,185 - [song ends] - [low-frequency pulsing] 456 00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:28,232 [beeps] 457 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:29,317 [electronic chime] 458 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,945 Captain Jean Luc Bullock Memari of the S.S. Deucalion speaking. 459 00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:37,366 We're in year 284 of our 500-year journey to colonize New Earth. 460 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,702 That's over a century ago. 461 00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:42,496 But our mission has zero chance of success. 462 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:45,041 I guess a "scientist" made a mistake. 463 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,752 And New Earth is actually an uninhabitable sphere 464 00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:49,378 of superheated gas. 465 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,255 And the closest habitable planet 466 00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:53,299 is well beyond our fuel reserves. 467 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:56,385 It's hopeless. So we've made a difficult decision. 468 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,347 We're gonna kill ourselves, yeah! 469 00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:01,057 [slurping, burps] 470 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,933 - [can crunching] - Yeah! 471 00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:04,977 We are gonna kill ourselves. 472 00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:07,313 Trust me, we tried to make a go of it. 473 00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:10,441 Orgy after interminable orgy. 474 00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,985 But with the knowledge that we were heading nowhere, 475 00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:15,279 with no future, no prospects, 476 00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:18,491 no purpose... Well, it got old fast. 477 00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,534 The meals were particularly monotonous. 478 00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:21,786 Monotonous? 479 00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:24,330 [Captain Memari] So here's to the bash to end all bashes. 480 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:27,124 [man] Cap, you're missing the cyanide conga line! 481 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:28,542 [electronic chime] 482 00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,753 [bleep] 483 00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:34,215 - [electrical whirring] - [woman over PA] Lunch service complete. 484 00:19:40,054 --> 00:19:41,222 [elevator dings] 485 00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,017 What did they say, Father? 486 00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:49,105 They're all... 487 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,690 Yes? 488 00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:53,818 They thanked us! 489 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:55,444 - [all sighing] - Thank the gods. 490 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,780 And said what we do down here 491 00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:59,865 is critical to the mission. 492 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:02,284 And that our meals are not monotonous. 493 00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,203 Not monotonous. 494 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:05,663 Well, that's nice. 495 00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:09,041 And what of the corn cutter and creamer tool, Mr. Smith? 496 00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:11,711 Oh, the tool. They didn't give me one. 497 00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:14,296 They hated the corn, they want it purged from the garden. 498 00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:16,382 I shall go upstairs and apologize. 499 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:17,925 No! No. 500 00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:21,137 They... They said our interpretation of the protocol manual 501 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,139 - was too liberal. - Oh, dear. 502 00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:26,100 They've forbidden us from going upstairs ever again. 503 00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:30,020 But they did give us a gift to thank us for our years of service. 504 00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:34,191 It's a device that produces pleasing sounds. 505 00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:36,861 They suggested we might enjoy it while we cook. 506 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:40,156 Speaking of, dinner service is in two hours. Let's get to it! 507 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,741 [♪ Nat King Cole "El Bodeguero" playing] 508 00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:44,201 These sounds really do help me work. 509 00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:46,120 Thank you, Upstairs. 510 00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:49,373 [baby crying] 511 00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,171 [♪ song fades] 512 00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:05,473 {\an8}[reader] Pretty good stories, pretty interesting. 513 00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:10,436 {\an8}Oh, a hovercraft, that's good. 514 00:21:12,563 --> 00:21:13,647 {\an8}Good money is good. 515 00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:18,068 {\an8}Ohhh, now that's good! 516 00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:20,279 {\an8}I'd like to put that on my belly button. 517 00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:21,697 {\an8}[dialing on phone] 518 00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:24,784 {\an8}[line ringing] 519 00:21:27,578 --> 00:21:31,624 {\an8}Hello? I'm calling about the Vibratile Massage Device?