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_
2
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Can you believe Dad makes us listen
3
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to his physical results every year?
4
00:00:06,750 --> 00:00:09,150
Can you believe I've
never had a physical?
5
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Okay, I have a critically
ill child to check on,
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so, Mr. Smith,
let's get this over with...
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- Play the intro music!
- I don't think that's necessary.
8
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Play the music, nerd!
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Before we hear what
amazing shape I'm in,
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I wanna thank all you Stanamaniacs
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for coming out in full force.
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Doc, tell 'em what papa's packin'.
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Well, you've put on 5 pounds
since last year.
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Bigger...
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is...
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better!
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You shrunk a quarter of an inch.
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So much man in such a tiny package!
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And your cholesterol is high.
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Are there no heights I can't reach?!
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Cholesterol is a serious issue.
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Forget cholesterol. We're losing them.
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Bring out the big guns.
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Um, it's looking like, down the line,
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your left knee is gonna
need to be replaced.
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Right knee carrying the
team to the finish line!
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Oh, I know.
Tell 'em if I have AIDS or not.
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You, uh, still don't have AIDS.
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Hear that, Francine?
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Doc's giving me a
prescription for raw doggin'!
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Yeah!
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♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
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♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
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♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
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♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
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- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
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Aah!
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♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
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I don't think this is
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the best place to eat for
someone with your cholesterol.
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Mmm.
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Dad, milk? Isn't that...
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Way ahead of you, Hayley.
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It's not milk. It's ranch dressing...
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from the Lazy Ranch River!
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Stan, the doctor gave you
this health journal
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to monitor your fitness
and eating habits.
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Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
50
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And you heard my stool sample results...
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Too hard to test.
52
00:02:07,971 --> 00:02:09,637
But you're getting older.
53
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You need to take care of yourself.
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We still have a lot of memories to make.
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Of course we do, honey.
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Now I'm gonna see how close
the ranch river gets me
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to the cheese cauldron.
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Sir, you need to wear goggles!
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That ranch is highly chlorinated!
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If he doesn't change his lifestyle,
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something terrible could happen.
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Sadly,
people are often set in their ways
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until something really rattles them,
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like a... like a near-death experience.
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So we just hope he has
a near-death experience?
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Hope? A near-death experience
is something I can guarantee.
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You know how E.T. could
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make a cute little
nightlight with his finger?
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Well, I slept with his puppeteer.
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However, that's unrelated to the fact
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that my species is 60% electricity.
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Why do you think my Umbros
are always so static-y?
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Anyway, I can use this...
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...to stop and restart Stan's heart.
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He'll think he had a heart attack.
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Just give him the little scare he needs.
Watch.
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Dead.
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Alive.
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Now go get me the recipe
for this tangy Thai sauce.
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I can't believe I missed the
college fair at school today.
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Isn't it a little early
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for you guys to be
worrying about all that?
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No way! I'm already behind!
84
00:03:20,343 --> 00:03:23,711
Look, Barry already signed his
letter of intent to Gonzaga.
85
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You know Coach Few's
gonna get the most out of him.
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Oh, man, if you knew
what I have in store for you,
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all your worries would melt away.
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You'd be swaddled tight,
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wrapped safely in my
freshly laundered plans...
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Klaus, what the [bleep]
are you talking about?
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00:03:41,364 --> 00:03:42,964
During my college years in Germany,
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I did a semester abroad
at Arizona State.
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I'll take you to see the campus,
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introduce you to some choice people.
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You'll be golden!
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I don't know.
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Isn't Arizona State a party school?
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How dare you?! ASU's got everything!
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It was ranked number one in
"Innovation."
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00:04:00,817 --> 00:04:02,850
- By who?
- By the rankers!
101
00:04:02,886 --> 00:04:05,253
It's also got a sick baseball team
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00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:09,524
and the only Chili's Too
that's not in an airport.
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Great. Now go get me the
recipe for the zesty ranch.
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I didn't know I'd want the zesty ranch
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when I sent you for the tangy Thai.
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I tried to text you.
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What's with all the coffee?
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After the amount of cheese
I consumed at Fuddruckers,
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it takes three pots' worth
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- just to get my system running again.
- Wow.
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Roger, this finger zapping
thing isn't gonna hurt, right?
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Not a bit.
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You said it wasn't gonna hurt!
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No, I said it wouldn't hurt me.
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You! Need! To listen! Girl!
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Well, you are a lucky man.
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You had a heart attack,
but you made a full recovery.
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Turn the music on for me.
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You are capable of turning on a boombox
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one foot away all by yourself.
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Do it... nerd.
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I owe you all an apology.
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Except you, nerd,
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But I should've listened to you guys.
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From here on out, it's more exercise,
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healthier eating, and better choices.
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And I choose... Doc, next track.
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...to be a lean, mean,
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muscle flexin' machine.
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Like a phoenix, I shall rise!
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Because to be the man,
you have to beat the man!
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Stan! Stan! Stan! Stan!
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Yeah! You did it!
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That chemistry lab was tight, huh?
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So much innovating going on there.
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Yeah, maybe. It was just kinda weird
137
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that no one knew how to
work any of the stuff.
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That's 'cause it's the latest stuff!
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I don't know about this place, Klaus.
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It says the library opens
"when Todd wakes up."
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00:05:59,536 --> 00:06:02,704
Hey, I think that's, like,
a frat or something.
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Should we go...
I don't know, check it out?
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Klaus!
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00:06:07,578 --> 00:06:10,345
- You know these guys?
- Everyone knows Klaus!
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One time, we didn't have
a band for Spring Fling,
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and at the total last second,
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Klaus got the Foo Fighters to play!
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And one time,
we were stuck in a Mexican prison,
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00:06:19,456 --> 00:06:21,790
and Klaus got the Foo
Fighters to break us out!
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And one time, my parents
died in a tragic car accident,
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and Klaus missed the funeral
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because he was at a
Foo Fighters concert!
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Ahh, I had some good times here at BGZ,
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or as we're known around campus,
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Beta Gizz!
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Beta Gizz!
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Steve, this is Nutbutter,
Nic, and Pube Face.
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All solid, solid bros.
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Hey, I'm gonna go show my buddy around.
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Sit on the ground, Steve.
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W-what?
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Sit your ass on the ground!
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This little bitch doesn't think
ASU's good enough for him.
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I-I'm sorry.
I don't even go to school here...
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Shut up, pledge!
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Now what game do you
turds want to play first?
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Milk Gallon Chug...
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or Hot Sauce Pee-Hole?
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- Milk Gal...
- Hot Sauce Pee-Hole it is!
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Wow, look at you, ready for a run.
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A regular, um, black guy from Kenya.
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Yep, and I can't wait
to write all about it
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- in my health journal.
- Hey, I could join you.
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There's actually nothing in this bowl.
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You know what? That...
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That looks important.
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Okay. Can you hit the lights?
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♪ La-la, la-la, la, la ♪
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Roger, I know
you gave me that heart attack.
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It wasn't my fault!
Francine made me...
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Roger, you almost killed me...
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I know, but...
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And I loved it! I wanna do it again!
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00:08:01,825 --> 00:08:03,892
Gotta say, Stan, this is why I love you.
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You always surprise me.
186
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Whenever I think you're gonna zig,
you do a reverse zig.
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Now let's get you dead, baby!
188
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...and that's the
reason why I want you...
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no, need you... to kill me again.
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00:08:18,673 --> 00:08:20,573
What? Sorry, I was just thinking about
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00:08:20,608 --> 00:08:23,042
what my top 20
"Mr. Belvedere" episodes are.
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00:08:23,078 --> 00:08:25,745
But then I realized I've never seen
"Mr. Belvedere."
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Was there an episode
where he gets snowed in?
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'Cause I would put that right up there.
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00:08:29,684 --> 00:08:32,051
And if there was a serious one
where he had a drug problem,
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I would consider that
episode very powerful,
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00:08:34,622 --> 00:08:37,290
- but not top 20.
- Roger!
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00:08:37,325 --> 00:08:40,993
When you stopped my heart,
everything went white.
199
00:08:41,029 --> 00:08:44,063
I woke up in what looked
like a Blockbuster Video.
200
00:08:44,099 --> 00:08:45,998
My first reaction was to kill myself
201
00:08:46,034 --> 00:08:47,834
because it wasn't a Hollywood Video.
202
00:08:47,869 --> 00:08:51,070
But then I realized I was already dead.
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00:08:51,106 --> 00:08:53,806
It turns out this video store
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00:08:53,842 --> 00:08:56,542
was my life flashing before my eyes.
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00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:58,611
- It was stocked with all my memories.
- _
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00:08:58,646 --> 00:09:00,135
They had everything,
207
00:09:00,136 --> 00:09:02,200
- from my first memory of my parents
- _
208
00:09:02,383 --> 00:09:04,884
to hot new releases like you killing me.
209
00:09:07,655 --> 00:09:10,790
Suddenly,
I wasn't just watching the memory...
210
00:09:10,825 --> 00:09:12,492
...I was reliving it,
211
00:09:12,527 --> 00:09:14,594
feeling what it was
like to be young again.
212
00:09:14,629 --> 00:09:16,129
My bad knee didn't hurt.
213
00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:18,064
Aah!
214
00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,829
The extra weight I gained was gone.
215
00:09:20,034 --> 00:09:21,801
And though it wasn't
relevant to the memory,
216
00:09:21,836 --> 00:09:24,337
I had that extra confidence
that comes from knowing
217
00:09:24,372 --> 00:09:26,239
you can get hard all the way to the tip.
218
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,143
I could go back
219
00:09:30,144 --> 00:09:31,720
- to any of my favorite memories...
- _
220
00:09:33,348 --> 00:09:34,914
...and eat all my favorite meals
221
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:37,517
without worrying about
any of the consequences.
222
00:09:37,552 --> 00:09:39,919
I got to feel like the guy I used to be.
223
00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:43,055
All the reminders that I'm
getting old just disappeared,
224
00:09:43,091 --> 00:09:44,490
right up until you revived me.
225
00:09:44,526 --> 00:09:45,691
I have to do it again.
226
00:09:45,727 --> 00:09:47,493
Well, the first taste was free.
227
00:09:47,529 --> 00:09:49,095
Next one's gonna cost you.
228
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,663
I'll give you anything. Money...
229
00:09:51,430 --> 00:09:53,366
I just want a laugh.
230
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,610
Good start.
231
00:10:07,749 --> 00:10:09,895
Aah! Stan, help me!
232
00:10:12,419 --> 00:10:13,419
_
233
00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:17,904
_
234
00:10:20,551 --> 00:10:22,461
Order of chili fries, horsey-style.
235
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:26,766
Uh, I believe I ordered all the fixings.
236
00:10:28,803 --> 00:10:31,564
Come on, boy! Eat faster! Eat faster!
237
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:35,875
Someone order a pizza?
238
00:10:35,910 --> 00:10:39,045
I got an extra large sausage.
239
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:40,513
Mmm. Mmm.
240
00:10:40,548 --> 00:10:43,349
Is anyone cool with that
girl Megan from Kappa?
241
00:10:43,384 --> 00:10:45,692
- I know her.
- Hook it up, bro.
242
00:10:46,888 --> 00:10:50,356
Pledges completed their
butt chug challenge.
243
00:10:50,391 --> 00:10:52,124
Gonna recycle the keg.
244
00:10:57,565 --> 00:11:00,066
Hey, has anyone noticed
we're watching gay porn?
245
00:11:00,101 --> 00:11:02,101
Maybe
it's only gay at the beginning!
246
00:11:02,136 --> 00:11:04,070
I say we keep watching!
247
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:08,608
This is a place of learning.
248
00:11:08,643 --> 00:11:11,580
How could every building close at
"Beer thirty"?!
249
00:11:11,580 --> 00:11:12,779
_
250
00:11:14,331 --> 00:11:16,582
Oh, thank God! You gotta help me!
251
00:11:16,618 --> 00:11:18,784
I was kidnapped and
held against my will!
252
00:11:18,820 --> 00:11:20,586
Well, you're lucky you ran into me.
253
00:11:20,622 --> 00:11:22,355
I'm not just a security guard.
254
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,223
I'm also the dean of the university.
255
00:11:24,259 --> 00:11:26,792
Plus, I sell loose cigarettes
for a dollar a pop.
256
00:11:26,828 --> 00:11:28,561
I've got an emergency down here.
257
00:11:28,596 --> 00:11:31,530
And tell them it was
those monsters at BGZ!
258
00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:33,766
False alarm.
259
00:11:35,203 --> 00:11:37,570
- Beta Gizz!
- Aah!
260
00:11:40,008 --> 00:11:43,175
I'm so proud of your progress, honey.
261
00:11:43,211 --> 00:11:44,577
Thought I'd treat you
262
00:11:44,612 --> 00:11:47,246
to the healthiest restaurant in town.
263
00:11:47,282 --> 00:11:49,115
Yay.
264
00:11:51,319 --> 00:11:54,120
You keep taking care of yourself,
and we'll be able
265
00:11:54,155 --> 00:11:57,390
to have dinners like
these for years to come.
266
00:11:57,425 --> 00:12:00,559
I, uh... gotta... go check on the car.
267
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,695
Got Bazooka Sharks stickers
all over that thing,
268
00:12:02,730 --> 00:12:04,830
and we're clearly in Cyber Mole country.
269
00:12:04,866 --> 00:12:06,599
Cyber Moles!
270
00:12:06,634 --> 00:12:08,401
Come on, Roger. Pick up.
271
00:12:10,204 --> 00:12:11,504
- Roger?
- Stan!
272
00:12:11,539 --> 00:12:13,572
- What are you doing here?
- Uh, working. You?
273
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:15,074
I'm freaking out.
274
00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:17,543
This cannot be what the
rest of my life is like.
275
00:12:17,578 --> 00:12:19,345
I just need a quick little
trip to the afterlife,
276
00:12:19,380 --> 00:12:21,881
maybe visit a memory with
a stuffed-crust pizza.
277
00:12:21,916 --> 00:12:25,318
- What do you say?
- Fine, I guess I can squeeze you in.
278
00:12:25,353 --> 00:12:27,219
That's some glory hole humor for ya.
279
00:12:27,255 --> 00:12:30,556
My jokes are what people show up for.
The BJs are shit.
280
00:12:31,926 --> 00:12:35,227
Oh, I went ahead
and ordered some appetizers.
281
00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:36,862
Enjoy.
282
00:12:36,898 --> 00:12:39,765
I, uh... I am just now realizing
283
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:42,368
I saw Mark McGwire
flossing in the restroom.
284
00:12:42,403 --> 00:12:44,303
I-I gotta thank him for all the homers.
285
00:12:44,339 --> 00:12:45,604
Just one more time!
286
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:46,906
And leave me under a little longer.
287
00:12:46,941 --> 00:12:48,541
Let me really stretch my legs in there.
288
00:12:48,576 --> 00:12:50,142
I can't do that.
289
00:12:50,178 --> 00:12:52,411
After five or six minutes,
you'll really die. Forever.
290
00:12:52,447 --> 00:12:54,380
Fine! Whatever! Just give Daddy a taste!
291
00:12:54,766 --> 00:12:55,881
Okay, but this is it.
292
00:12:55,917 --> 00:12:57,817
You're so addicted to the afterlife
293
00:12:57,852 --> 00:13:00,086
that you're missing out on real life.
294
00:13:00,121 --> 00:13:01,487
I-I'm not some battery.
295
00:13:01,522 --> 00:13:03,022
I'm made of flesh and blood...
296
00:13:03,057 --> 00:13:05,057
and alkaline and manganese oxide.
297
00:13:05,093 --> 00:13:06,192
But I have feelings!
298
00:13:06,227 --> 00:13:07,960
I'm just a normal guy with feelings,
299
00:13:07,995 --> 00:13:11,197
who can power most
non-Samsung mobile devices.
300
00:13:13,868 --> 00:13:17,036
Holy crap,
I just got a retweet from Toshi.
301
00:13:19,273 --> 00:13:22,541
Roger was right. It was crazy
to keep asking him to kill me...
302
00:13:22,577 --> 00:13:25,711
when I can just do it myself.
303
00:13:29,617 --> 00:13:32,351
Hmm, a good scientist
would test this first.
304
00:13:32,387 --> 00:13:35,654
But if I was a good scientist,
then I'd also be a nerd.
305
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:39,291
And I've made my stance
on nerds very clear.
306
00:13:48,903 --> 00:13:52,805
I'm sure Stan wouldn't mind if
I took a peek at his progress.
307
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,884
Stan hasn't changed at all!
308
00:14:04,919 --> 00:14:07,653
But he did nail my mannerisms.
309
00:14:08,956 --> 00:14:10,990
Stan! Oh, no!
310
00:14:11,025 --> 00:14:12,558
Stan, please!
311
00:14:16,464 --> 00:14:19,165
Whoa! Oh, my god! Guys!
312
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:22,568
Stan and Francine worked out so hard,
they fell asleep!
313
00:14:22,603 --> 00:14:23,936
Shut up and get those Fantas!
314
00:14:23,971 --> 00:14:25,137
I don't want a history lesson!
315
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:30,109
Okay, but I'm telling you,
it's super adorable.
316
00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:34,548
Ugh, that was terrible.
317
00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:40,120
If I could play multiple
characters like Eddie Murphy,
318
00:14:40,156 --> 00:14:42,389
they'd all be watching
"Norbit" together.
319
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:50,197
Where am I? Is that a Shamrock Shake?
320
00:14:50,232 --> 00:14:51,398
Why, yes, it is.
321
00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:53,567
But it's not even close
to St. Paddy's Day.
322
00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:55,702
Oh, my God. I know where I am.
323
00:14:55,738 --> 00:14:56,937
I'm in Ireland!
324
00:14:56,972 --> 00:14:58,772
Um... you're in heaven.
325
00:14:58,807 --> 00:14:59,698
Yeah, right, buddy.
326
00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:02,109
If this were really heaven,
I'd have a Shamrock...
327
00:15:02,144 --> 00:15:03,543
...shake!
328
00:15:03,979 --> 00:15:05,946
But that means I actually died.
329
00:15:06,419 --> 00:15:08,715
Why didn't the
revival paddles fall on me?
330
00:15:08,751 --> 00:15:10,250
Because they fell on me!
331
00:15:10,286 --> 00:15:12,252
I can't believe you killed us both!
332
00:15:12,288 --> 00:15:13,854
Well, technically, you killed us
333
00:15:13,889 --> 00:15:15,556
- when you got in the way of my...
- Stan.
334
00:15:15,591 --> 00:15:16,481
Okay, all right.
335
00:15:16,481 --> 00:15:18,292
We could sit here all day, arguing about
336
00:15:18,327 --> 00:15:20,594
whose homemade death machine killed who.
337
00:15:20,629 --> 00:15:22,162
Or we could look at the bright side.
338
00:15:22,198 --> 00:15:23,864
We can do anything we want here!
339
00:15:23,899 --> 00:15:25,499
Bam! My bum knee is fixed.
340
00:15:25,534 --> 00:15:26,967
Bam! Ten-pack!
341
00:15:27,002 --> 00:15:29,570
Bam! I have a tail. Hell, yeah!
342
00:15:30,923 --> 00:15:32,306
Don't you get it?
343
00:15:32,341 --> 00:15:35,075
We're never gonna see our kids grow up!
344
00:15:35,110 --> 00:15:37,377
We can make our own versions
of Hayley and Steve.
345
00:15:37,413 --> 00:15:40,113
But that Hayley doesn't
even have a mouth.
346
00:15:40,149 --> 00:15:44,184
And that's not even Steve.
It's Turtle from "Entourage."
347
00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:46,853
- Yeah! Heaven!
- I just don't get it.
348
00:15:46,889 --> 00:15:49,323
What was so horrible about your life
349
00:15:49,358 --> 00:15:51,425
that you wanted to kill yourself?
350
00:15:51,460 --> 00:15:55,062
I wasn't trying to kill myself.
I was escaping into my memories.
351
00:15:55,097 --> 00:15:57,097
When I heard about my poor health,
352
00:15:57,132 --> 00:15:58,832
I-I know I played it cool,
353
00:15:58,867 --> 00:16:01,001
but I wasn't as cool
as I was playing it,
354
00:16:01,036 --> 00:16:02,536
which was super cool.
355
00:16:02,571 --> 00:16:04,504
But beneath that Joe Camel cool
356
00:16:04,540 --> 00:16:06,340
was a Marlboro coward,
357
00:16:06,375 --> 00:16:09,676
terrified of the long,
slow decline of my body.
358
00:16:09,712 --> 00:16:11,945
Oh, Stan, I hear you.
359
00:16:11,981 --> 00:16:14,915
And I thank you for
sharing that with me.
360
00:16:14,950 --> 00:16:18,785
But the thing is...
you killed us, you idiot!
361
00:16:18,821 --> 00:16:22,689
We still had a lifetime of
memories to make on Earth,
362
00:16:22,725 --> 00:16:24,658
and you stole those from me!
363
00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:26,360
So as far as I'm concerned,
364
00:16:26,395 --> 00:16:29,563
you can spend the rest
of eternity by yourself!
365
00:16:29,598 --> 00:16:32,099
Francine, wait!
Give Turtle-Steve a chance.
366
00:16:32,134 --> 00:16:33,767
He's just like Steve,
367
00:16:33,802 --> 00:16:37,271
except he'll drive us anywhere
and he's always on ass patrol.
368
00:16:42,021 --> 00:16:43,343
Just doesn't taste the same
369
00:16:43,379 --> 00:16:46,847
without Francine begging
me to stop for my own good.
370
00:16:46,882 --> 00:16:48,248
Excuse me, do you know
371
00:16:48,284 --> 00:16:50,484
if there's any way to get back to Earth?
372
00:16:50,519 --> 00:16:53,654
Um, if you're looking to escape
the afterlife, I'd ask in hell.
373
00:16:53,689 --> 00:16:56,223
People are always trying to
get out of that craphole.
374
00:16:56,258 --> 00:16:58,592
Great. Thank you!
Sorry, one last question.
375
00:16:58,627 --> 00:17:01,328
If you're in heaven,
why do you have to work as a waitress?
376
00:17:01,363 --> 00:17:04,197
Oh, no. I'm a slave.
377
00:17:11,507 --> 00:17:14,608
Hey, demon, is this obstacle
course the way back to Earth?
378
00:17:14,643 --> 00:17:16,910
Nah, that's the way
out of hell into heaven.
379
00:17:16,945 --> 00:17:19,112
Stepping to the starting line,
380
00:17:19,148 --> 00:17:21,581
Adolf Hitler!
381
00:17:21,617 --> 00:17:25,185
Adolf is best remembered for
his work in World War II,
382
00:17:25,220 --> 00:17:28,388
and his legacy lives on
in Macklemore's haircut.
383
00:17:28,424 --> 00:17:32,059
He'll be making his 453rd attempt
384
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:34,428
at getting through the course tonight.
385
00:17:34,463 --> 00:17:36,029
And he's off!
386
00:17:36,065 --> 00:17:38,899
Powering through the
quintuple steps with ease!
387
00:17:38,934 --> 00:17:41,868
No trouble with the rolling log!
388
00:17:43,038 --> 00:17:45,939
Ooh! He tried to rush the salmon ladder,
389
00:17:45,974 --> 00:17:47,808
and it looks like...
390
00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:51,311
No one ever makes it.
391
00:17:51,347 --> 00:17:53,847
But it's nice just to...
get out of the house!
392
00:17:53,882 --> 00:17:56,983
There's gotta be a way to get
me and Francine back to Earth.
393
00:17:57,019 --> 00:18:00,454
Yo, wings!
Back to heaven with you, you tourist.
394
00:18:00,489 --> 00:18:02,789
Think, Stan!
What do I know about the devil?
395
00:18:02,825 --> 00:18:05,892
♪ Devil with a moo mess,
moo mess, moo mess ♪
396
00:18:05,928 --> 00:18:07,828
♪ Devil-mmm-mmm, moo mess-ma ♪
397
00:18:07,863 --> 00:18:11,098
That's it! He's always makin' deals.
398
00:18:12,101 --> 00:18:14,034
Hey, you're a bettin' man, right?
399
00:18:14,069 --> 00:18:15,435
How 'bout this for a deal?
400
00:18:15,471 --> 00:18:17,137
You send my wife and me back to Earth
401
00:18:17,172 --> 00:18:18,839
to live out the rest of our lives.
402
00:18:18,874 --> 00:18:21,875
And... yawn. What's in it for me?
403
00:18:21,910 --> 00:18:24,511
Next time I die, I won't go to heaven.
404
00:18:24,546 --> 00:18:25,979
You get my soul.
405
00:18:26,014 --> 00:18:28,315
So you're willing to give up heaven
406
00:18:28,350 --> 00:18:31,985
for a few more miserable years on Earth?
407
00:18:32,020 --> 00:18:34,254
Yes, because
all the heaven I've ever needed
408
00:18:34,289 --> 00:18:36,790
was being with Francine and my kids.
409
00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:39,826
Oh, wow, Stan. I had no idea...
410
00:18:39,862 --> 00:18:42,162
that you were such a bitch!
411
00:18:42,197 --> 00:18:44,364
Fine, you got a deal.
412
00:18:45,367 --> 00:18:47,300
Oh, and when you get back to Earth,
413
00:18:47,336 --> 00:18:49,536
tell Rachael Ray to [bleep] off.
414
00:18:49,571 --> 00:18:51,037
She'll know what she did.
415
00:18:51,073 --> 00:18:53,407
That is not how you
treat another person!
416
00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:58,750
I can't believe they're dead!
417
00:19:00,349 --> 00:19:02,849
Now I'm just as broken
up about this as you are,
418
00:19:02,885 --> 00:19:05,519
but we can't ignore the facts...
It's pretty chilly out,
419
00:19:05,554 --> 00:19:07,587
and neither of us knows
how to work the thermostat.
420
00:19:07,623 --> 00:19:10,023
Our only option is to
slice open the bodies
421
00:19:10,058 --> 00:19:11,925
so we can huddle inside them for warmth.
422
00:19:13,189 --> 00:19:14,127
Let's do it.
423
00:19:14,163 --> 00:19:16,663
I refuse to sleep in socks.
424
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,434
Stan, we're alive!
425
00:19:20,469 --> 00:19:21,802
Oh, thank God!
426
00:19:21,837 --> 00:19:23,470
What... happened?
427
00:19:23,505 --> 00:19:26,773
I guess someone realized we
needed more time here together.
428
00:19:26,809 --> 00:19:28,175
And this time around,
429
00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:30,844
I'm gonna make it last
as long as possible.
430
00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:33,713
'Cause then I'm going to hell.
431
00:19:33,749 --> 00:19:35,182
What's with the knife?
432
00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:37,517
You shouldn't have to
be a goddamn electrician
433
00:19:37,553 --> 00:19:38,885
to live in this house!
434
00:19:41,256 --> 00:19:43,990
Oh, is it cookie time already?
435
00:19:44,026 --> 00:19:46,726
Circle up, boys. We have a game to play.
436
00:19:46,762 --> 00:19:49,062
No, Steve, you're late for graduation!
437
00:19:49,097 --> 00:19:50,797
From pledging?
438
00:19:50,833 --> 00:19:52,466
No, from ASU!
439
00:19:52,501 --> 00:19:54,868
Come on, it's about to start!
440
00:19:54,903 --> 00:19:56,937
How?! I was only here for a week.
441
00:19:56,972 --> 00:19:59,673
Remember when you asked a
question in the science lab?
442
00:19:59,708 --> 00:20:02,742
That was the minimum
requirement to graduate!
443
00:20:02,778 --> 00:20:04,344
Now hurry up!
444
00:20:04,379 --> 00:20:07,814
Oh, and get a speech ready.
You're also valedictorian!
445
00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:15,206
_
446
00:20:15,241 --> 00:20:18,314
_
447
00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:22,511
_
448
00:20:22,612 --> 00:20:24,507
_
449
00:20:25,296 --> 00:20:27,117
_
450
00:20:27,218 --> 00:20:29,429
_
451
00:20:29,430 --> 00:20:31,630
_
452
00:20:31,740 --> 00:20:33,607
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
453
00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:39,946
Stan, ready for a jog?
454
00:20:39,982 --> 00:20:41,147
Yep! Just one minute.
455
00:20:41,183 --> 00:20:42,449
Stan, I love that
456
00:20:42,484 --> 00:20:44,484
you're beasting it on the salmon ladder,
457
00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:46,887
but there's no shame in starting basic.
458
00:20:46,922 --> 00:20:49,990
I know. I just think this will
be very beneficial long-term.
459
00:20:51,226 --> 00:20:53,159
I need to live forever.
460
00:20:53,195 --> 00:20:54,797
That's the spirit!