1
00:00:24,051 --> 00:00:26,025
Synchro: mpm
2
00:00:33,862 --> 00:00:35,203
{pos(192,220)}- 53 Glock 9 mm?
- Check.
3
00:00:35,328 --> 00:00:36,550
{pos(192,220)}- Kevlar vest?
- Check.
4
00:00:36,675 --> 00:00:38,493
{pos(192,180)}before you wreck yourself?
5
00:00:38,618 --> 00:00:39,951
{pos(192,180)}- Check.
- Oh, Stan.
6
00:00:40,076 --> 00:00:42,447
{pos(192,220)}I hate it when you go
on these dangerous missions.
7
00:00:42,655 --> 00:00:45,257
{pos(192,180)}Honey, it's just a two-day
surveillance job.
8
00:00:45,382 --> 00:00:47,909
{pos(192,220)}Trust me, I'll be back in time
for Valentine's Day,
9
00:00:48,034 --> 00:00:50,336
{pos(192,220)}when I'll take you out
for a disappointing set-menu dinner
10
00:00:50,461 --> 00:00:52,100
{pos(192,220)}at the Macaroni Grill.
11
00:00:55,740 --> 00:00:59,172
{pos(192,220)}For a meeting between wealthy arms
dealers, this sure is boring.
12
00:00:59,297 --> 00:01:01,239
{pos(192,220)}Thought they'd at least
have a band...
13
00:01:01,364 --> 00:01:02,431
{pos(192,220)}or juggling...
14
00:01:02,915 --> 00:01:04,164
{pos(192,180)}Juggling is amazing.
15
00:01:04,289 --> 00:01:06,189
{pos(192,180)}Yeah, this is a snooze-fest.
16
00:01:06,596 --> 00:01:09,593
{pos(192,220)}I should be rolling in the sheets
with Lana from accounting right now.
17
00:01:09,718 --> 00:01:11,696
{pos(192,220)}Lana?
I thought she was a lesbian.
18
00:01:12,953 --> 00:01:13,906
She was.
19
00:01:14,337 --> 00:01:17,393
{pos(192,220)}Jim, your ability with the ladies
never ceases to amaze me.
20
00:01:17,518 --> 00:01:19,389
{pos(192,220)}What can I say?
I love women.
21
00:01:19,514 --> 00:01:23,165
{pos(192,220)}This might make me sound like a wuss,
but I get off when they get off.
22
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,129
{pos(192,220)}- Come on!
- I mean it.
23
00:01:25,254 --> 00:01:27,625
{pos(192,220)}That's why I took that class
on sexual energy.
24
00:01:27,750 --> 00:01:31,309
Now I can make a woman quiver
just by looking at her the right way.
25
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:33,718
Which way?
First boobs, then face, then butt?
26
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:35,627
No, I mean... Wait.
27
00:01:36,113 --> 00:01:37,388
{pos(192,220)}Something's happening.
28
00:01:38,235 --> 00:01:39,761
The guards are on the move.
29
00:01:41,415 --> 00:01:42,565
But to where?
30
00:01:47,719 --> 00:01:49,654
{You guys wanna buy some speaker?}
31
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:54,613
Now back to Tex 'n' Mex.
32
00:01:57,890 --> 00:02:00,321
Thanks to some good
detective work by me,
33
00:02:00,446 --> 00:02:03,648
and to a lesser extent,
my partner Mexican Joey,
34
00:02:03,773 --> 00:02:06,667
the bikini thief is finally
headed to jail.
35
00:02:06,792 --> 00:02:09,174
I guess that only leaves one mystery.
36
00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:11,556
Who ate my sopapia?
37
00:02:13,214 --> 00:02:14,738
Tex 'n' Mex did it again.
38
00:02:14,863 --> 00:02:17,563
Nothing more satisfying
than solving a case.
39
00:02:17,732 --> 00:02:20,228
Has anyone seen my Shuffle?
I can't find it anywhere.
40
00:02:20,353 --> 00:02:23,939
A treasured item gone missing.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
41
00:02:24,064 --> 00:02:25,895
This sounds like a case for...
42
00:02:26,234 --> 00:02:27,893
Wheels and the Legman!
43
00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:51,617
You know, Wheels and the Legman,
the detective duo we created.
44
00:02:51,742 --> 00:02:53,741
I'm Wheels, and Roger's the Legman.
45
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:57,357
We've been looking for a case,
but now it appears that case...
46
00:02:57,643 --> 00:02:58,695
found us.
47
00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:05,719
Stop that! Look, if you see my Shuffle,
let me know.
48
00:03:05,844 --> 00:03:08,594
There is, madam,
the small matter of our fee.
49
00:03:08,719 --> 00:03:10,756
$20 a day, plus expenses.
50
00:03:11,077 --> 00:03:13,083
Or that half{ a turkey} sandwich
you left in the fridge.
51
00:03:13,208 --> 00:03:14,944
- That's Dad's.
- We have a deal then.
52
00:03:35,420 --> 00:03:36,990
Why so sad, Mrs. Smith?
53
00:03:37,115 --> 00:03:39,716
It's me, Scott, from Langley Flag
and Boot Cleaning.
54
00:03:40,453 --> 00:03:42,733
Say hi to your husband.
He's my best customer.
55
00:03:45,031 --> 00:03:46,131
Stan's boss!
56
00:03:46,567 --> 00:03:48,848
Francine, I have bad news.
57
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:55,576
My car broke down two blocks from here
and it's just off warranty.
58
00:03:55,701 --> 00:03:56,986
That's the bad news?
59
00:03:57,263 --> 00:03:59,196
Well, actually, there's more.
60
00:03:59,321 --> 00:04:00,656
Father Carrington?
61
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:07,329
Mrs. Smith, there's no easy way to say
this, so I'm just going to be direct.
62
00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:08,289
Dear God!
63
00:04:08,458 --> 00:04:11,052
I was caught having sex with a man
and I'm being excommunicated.
64
00:04:11,177 --> 00:04:12,167
What about Stan?
65
00:04:12,816 --> 00:04:16,466
Nope. I don't believe Stan has had sex
with Father Carrington.
66
00:04:16,851 --> 00:04:20,885
Also, we lost communications
with Stan 12 hours ago.
67
00:04:22,636 --> 00:04:24,881
I'm trained for this.
Step aside, please.
68
00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:27,991
There, there.
69
00:04:32,892 --> 00:04:34,357
We're gonna die!
70
00:04:34,703 --> 00:04:36,450
I just know it!
I just really do!
71
00:04:36,575 --> 00:04:39,053
Stay cool, Stan.
We've been trained for this.
72
00:04:39,178 --> 00:04:41,356
I know! But I forget!
73
00:04:43,522 --> 00:04:45,200
There's gotta be a way out of here.
74
00:04:45,435 --> 00:04:46,735
You're relieved.
75
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:50,331
I think our luck just changed.
76
00:05:25,965 --> 00:05:26,965
Halt!
77
00:05:27,417 --> 00:05:28,517
Don't shoot.
78
00:05:49,623 --> 00:05:50,623
Just go.
79
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:57,697
All right, Wheels. This is the last
place Hayley saw her Shuffle.
80
00:05:57,822 --> 00:06:00,451
Search her dresser for clues.
I'll take the closet.
81
00:06:01,189 --> 00:06:03,825
- Careful!
- Sorry. I'm a little rusty{ using the chair}.
82
00:06:13,663 --> 00:06:15,790
- Just use your legs!
- We can't break character!
83
00:06:15,915 --> 00:06:18,655
- For crying out loud!
- No, no!
84
00:06:19,036 --> 00:06:21,046
I did it.
Look!
85
00:06:23,178 --> 00:06:25,604
A butt-print on Hayley's bedspread,
86
00:06:25,729 --> 00:06:27,585
way too big to be Hayley's.
87
00:06:27,710 --> 00:06:30,581
There are only two people
who could leave a print that big.
88
00:06:32,564 --> 00:06:34,935
Well, it's not Travolta.
So it's gotta be Barry.
89
00:06:38,629 --> 00:06:41,572
Mama, Stan went on a mission
90
00:06:41,697 --> 00:06:44,391
and he's been missing for five days...
91
00:06:45,894 --> 00:06:48,178
What's that in the background?
92
00:06:48,303 --> 00:06:49,862
You're at a movie?
93
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:53,091
Well, go in the lobby!
You're being rude!
94
00:07:02,413 --> 00:07:04,339
I thought I'd never see you again!
95
00:07:04,464 --> 00:07:05,773
There, there, Francine.
96
00:07:05,898 --> 00:07:07,511
I promised I'd be home in time
97
00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:10,033
to take you out for
a romantic Valentine's dinner.
98
00:07:11,368 --> 00:07:13,753
If I smell at all like sex,
it's because of Jim.
99
00:07:14,402 --> 00:07:18,411
I was on his heels as he porked
our way through 200 miles of jungle.
100
00:07:18,817 --> 00:07:20,439
His hips never stopped moving.
101
00:07:20,564 --> 00:07:21,811
It was magnificent.
102
00:07:22,857 --> 00:07:25,657
- You're... crushing me.
- It's almost over.
103
00:07:29,423 --> 00:07:32,104
Sorry I didn't have time to get you
a Valentine's Day present.
104
00:07:32,229 --> 00:07:35,289
Just having you home safe
is the only present I need.
105
00:07:36,474 --> 00:07:38,096
You know I'll always come back.
106
00:07:38,221 --> 00:07:39,221
I know,
107
00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:42,132
but sometimes
I think about if you didn't.
108
00:07:42,369 --> 00:07:43,462
And you know what?
109
00:07:43,651 --> 00:07:47,247
I think that would be it
for the romantic part of my life.
110
00:07:47,521 --> 00:07:49,208
And that would be fine,
111
00:07:49,333 --> 00:07:52,216
because I would have known
my soul mate,
112
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:54,116
my one true love.
113
00:07:54,652 --> 00:07:57,052
That's more than most people ever get.
114
00:07:57,285 --> 00:07:58,924
And the memory of our love
115
00:07:59,049 --> 00:08:03,027
would be enough to sustain me
for the rest of my days alone.
116
00:08:03,618 --> 00:08:04,944
How about you?
117
00:08:05,283 --> 00:08:06,869
What would you do if I died?
118
00:08:06,994 --> 00:08:09,194
I'd marry Meg Penner,
my backup wife.
119
00:08:16,350 --> 00:08:17,350
Meg Penner?
120
00:08:17,848 --> 00:08:19,198
Wait, Dr. Penner?
121
00:08:19,345 --> 00:08:20,374
Our dentist?!
122
00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:23,338
Exactly, that's who I would marry next.
She's my backup.
123
00:08:23,463 --> 00:08:25,833
Like that extra pair of underwear
I keep in the car...
124
00:08:25,958 --> 00:08:27,297
just in case.
125
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:30,676
You already know who you want
to marry after I'm dead?
126
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:31,824
{It's }Nothing formal.
127
00:08:31,949 --> 00:08:34,647
Meg and I were talking
during one of my routine cleanings.
128
00:08:34,772 --> 00:08:37,073
The subject came up, and we decided
that if our spouses die,
129
00:08:37,198 --> 00:08:38,725
we'll marry each other.
130
00:08:39,096 --> 00:08:41,995
Wait, Dr. Penner knows about this?
131
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,054
Francine, listen to yourself.
132
00:08:44,179 --> 00:08:46,533
How crazy would it be to plan
a backup marriage
133
00:08:46,658 --> 00:08:48,516
without alerting the backup bride?
134
00:08:48,797 --> 00:08:50,546
That would just be weird.
135
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,786
- Are you in love with Meg Penner?
- What?
136
00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:57,545
No, no, I'm not in love with her.
137
00:08:57,670 --> 00:08:59,560
- Are you sleeping with her?!
- Of course not!
138
00:08:59,685 --> 00:09:02,089
Then why are you making
all these plans with her?
139
00:09:02,214 --> 00:09:05,119
Oh, baby, baby, you must have misheard
me or misunderstood me.
140
00:09:05,244 --> 00:09:06,704
It was probably my fault.
141
00:09:07,933 --> 00:09:10,748
None of this happens
until you are dead.
142
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:20,200
Stan, I want you to break off this
crazy arrangement with Dr. Penner.
143
00:09:20,517 --> 00:09:24,313
I'm not dead, and I don't like you
arranging my replacement as if I were!
144
00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:26,299
No. You're making
a big deal out of nothing.
145
00:09:26,424 --> 00:09:27,774
It's not nothing.
146
00:09:27,922 --> 00:09:29,622
Not to a woman at least.
147
00:09:29,856 --> 00:09:33,049
You think Dr. Penner's approaching this
as casually as you are?
148
00:09:33,174 --> 00:09:34,909
Probably.
She's pretty casual.
149
00:09:35,034 --> 00:09:36,949
She wears Crocs around the office.
150
00:09:37,655 --> 00:09:40,424
Look, Francine, they say men
who are happily married
151
00:09:40,549 --> 00:09:42,460
usually get remarried right away.
152
00:09:42,585 --> 00:09:45,385
So, this is actually
a huge compliment to you.
153
00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:47,827
There's your Valentine's Day
present.
154
00:09:47,952 --> 00:09:50,102
Your present is that observation.
155
00:09:55,252 --> 00:09:58,118
We know you were in the victim's room
on the day in question, Barry.
156
00:09:58,243 --> 00:10:00,503
This is the room
where I sleep in my house!
157
00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:01,934
Don't get smart with me!
158
00:10:02,204 --> 00:10:04,177
You wanna do this the hard way,
that's fine.
159
00:10:04,302 --> 00:10:05,646
I invented the hard way!
160
00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:08,245
- What do you think you're doing?
- I'm playing bad cop.
161
00:10:08,370 --> 00:10:11,104
- You know, good cop/bad cop?
- Yeah, but I'm the bad cop.
162
00:10:11,229 --> 00:10:12,912
Roger, I'm the one in a wheelchair.
163
00:10:13,037 --> 00:10:15,134
I'm bitter about my fate
and constantly in pain
164
00:10:15,259 --> 00:10:17,717
from the one-eyed serial killer's
bullet lodged in my spine.
165
00:10:17,842 --> 00:10:18,793
I'm bad cop.
166
00:10:18,918 --> 00:10:21,686
No, no, your accident humbled you
167
00:10:21,811 --> 00:10:23,773
and made you grateful
for every day you're alive.
168
00:10:23,898 --> 00:10:25,516
- You're good cop.
- I'm bad cop!
169
00:10:25,641 --> 00:10:29,073
You don't have the guts! I can
bad cop better than you in my sleep.
170
00:10:32,162 --> 00:10:35,315
You wanna go to jail, double-stuff?
Oh, the boys'll love you in there.
171
00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,990
They won't leave
one fat fold unviolated.
172
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:42,676
Still won't talk?
Maybe I'll reach out to a buddy of mine.
173
00:10:42,801 --> 00:10:44,237
Dirty Cop owes me a favor.
174
00:10:44,362 --> 00:10:47,126
In two hours, I can have
a dead baby stuffed with heroin
175
00:10:47,251 --> 00:10:50,866
planted in your mom's car.
Is that what you want, wide load?!
176
00:10:52,466 --> 00:10:54,970
- Put out your hands.
- I made heavy pants!
177
00:10:55,095 --> 00:10:56,895
I said put out your hands!
178
00:10:57,020 --> 00:10:59,179
You got real pretty hands, fat boy.
179
00:11:00,239 --> 00:11:01,987
Now I'm gonna make you eat 'em!
180
00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:04,331
God, Roger!
181
00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:06,639
All right, all right,
you can be bad cop.
182
00:11:06,764 --> 00:11:08,573
Thank you. That's all I wanted to hear.
183
00:11:08,698 --> 00:11:11,132
I confess!
I went in Hayley's room.
184
00:11:11,257 --> 00:11:13,584
I like to put her toothbrush
in my mouth.
185
00:11:13,709 --> 00:11:16,550
It tastes like mint,
and sometimes I find food.
186
00:11:16,762 --> 00:11:18,385
But what about Hayley's Shuffle?
187
00:11:18,807 --> 00:11:21,590
I don't know. I was just eating
toothbrush corn.
188
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,307
Then the fish scared me away.
189
00:11:28,681 --> 00:11:29,896
Looking good!
190
00:11:30,352 --> 00:11:31,452
Doesn't she?
191
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:34,428
- Jim! Wait, what are you doing here?
- Didn't I tell you?
192
00:11:34,553 --> 00:11:36,403
Can you get my back, J-dog?
193
00:11:36,716 --> 00:11:38,113
Jim's my backup husband.
194
00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:39,825
- What?!
- I'm honored.
195
00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:42,080
I mean, be sleeping
with your wife someday.
196
00:11:42,205 --> 00:11:44,438
That makes us, like,
brothers or something.
197
00:11:44,563 --> 00:11:48,165
- Would you excuse us for a minute, Jim?
- Sure, I'll just go do my tai-chi.
198
00:11:50,819 --> 00:11:52,294
I see what you're doing here,
199
00:11:52,419 --> 00:11:55,547
but I never laid around the pool
having Meg Penner rub lotion on me.
200
00:11:55,747 --> 00:11:58,782
No, you just laid around her office
for the last ten years,
201
00:11:58,907 --> 00:12:00,870
letting her fingers in your mouth.
202
00:12:01,125 --> 00:12:03,263
I'm just making up for lost time.
203
00:12:09,081 --> 00:12:10,781
I know why you're upset.
204
00:12:11,079 --> 00:12:13,673
Baby, none of this
happens till you're dead.
205
00:12:14,282 --> 00:12:16,735
Oh, God! Jim,
your niece's piano recital!
206
00:12:17,735 --> 00:12:19,785
Grab the cupcakes and let's go!
207
00:12:26,511 --> 00:12:29,861
Damn! Did you see what homeboy
was packing in his Speedo?
208
00:12:30,135 --> 00:12:31,703
I mean, I can't relax.
209
00:12:31,828 --> 00:12:34,085
I'm in an inner tube, in a pool,
210
00:12:34,210 --> 00:12:36,434
with a drink and I can't get right.
211
00:12:36,559 --> 00:12:38,308
Reginald, what are you doing here?
212
00:12:38,433 --> 00:12:40,683
I just got back from a CIA mission.
213
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:43,676
'Cause, you know,
sometimes I be on missions.
214
00:12:43,922 --> 00:12:46,419
Sometimes I just be
hanging out here at the house.
215
00:12:46,544 --> 00:12:47,890
But more importantly,
216
00:12:48,015 --> 00:12:51,672
what's up with Prince Walnuts
rubbing lotion on your wife?
217
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:53,733
You better handle your business.
218
00:12:53,858 --> 00:12:56,339
Yeah, I guess I got to break up
with Meg Penner tomorrow.
219
00:12:57,030 --> 00:12:58,711
It's probably for the best.
220
00:12:58,836 --> 00:13:00,957
Man, I hate ending relationships.
221
00:13:01,082 --> 00:13:03,086
It took me six months
to fire the gardener
222
00:13:03,211 --> 00:13:06,015
after I found out he was taking pictures
of Steve while he was asleep.
223
00:13:06,140 --> 00:13:07,884
You know, I didn't hear a word you said.
224
00:13:08,009 --> 00:13:11,003
I'm still thinking
about Johnny Snowglobes over there.
225
00:13:11,128 --> 00:13:13,228
I mean, is that even attractive?
226
00:13:13,690 --> 00:13:17,613
Like, is it something you advertise,
or something you just keep to yourself?
227
00:13:20,873 --> 00:13:22,843
For the last time,
I wasn't in Hayley's room.
228
00:13:23,046 --> 00:13:26,471
I was here, reading a great new article
about hip dysplasia.
229
00:13:26,685 --> 00:13:28,000
Barry says different,
230
00:13:28,125 --> 00:13:30,952
which means, something
about your story seems...
231
00:13:31,534 --> 00:13:32,391
fishy.
232
00:13:32,516 --> 00:13:33,967
- What was that?
- A wisecrack.
233
00:13:34,092 --> 00:13:35,713
- I'm cracking wise.
- No way!
234
00:13:35,838 --> 00:13:38,365
You can't be bad cop
and do the wisecracks.
235
00:13:38,490 --> 00:13:40,026
I'm doing the wisecracks!
236
00:13:40,890 --> 00:13:44,701
Klaus, you're going to face
the scales of Lady Justice.
237
00:13:44,826 --> 00:13:47,071
We know you're gill-ty.
238
00:13:47,196 --> 00:13:50,317
Like it or not, fish,
you're on the hook for this one.
239
00:13:50,442 --> 00:13:53,336
Your days of crime are H2 over!
240
00:13:53,461 --> 00:13:55,743
- That doesn't even make sense!
- Fish live in water!
241
00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:56,918
Enough!
242
00:13:57,303 --> 00:13:59,838
I confess.
Just, please, no more puns.
243
00:14:00,084 --> 00:14:01,236
I knew he was lying!
244
00:14:01,361 --> 00:14:04,050
There hasn't been a good article
on hip dysplasia in years.
245
00:14:04,295 --> 00:14:06,102
Look, I did go into Hayley's room.
246
00:14:06,227 --> 00:14:09,222
I use her toothbrush to scrape algae
from the inside of my bowl.
247
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,416
But I didn't steal anything.
248
00:14:12,830 --> 00:14:13,977
Is that a red hair?
249
00:14:14,234 --> 00:14:17,375
Ja. I've been tangled in it
since I was in Hayley's room.
250
00:14:18,645 --> 00:14:19,893
We found our next clue.
251
00:14:20,018 --> 00:14:23,344
Looks like this case
is getting a little hairy.
252
00:14:24,622 --> 00:14:26,053
You proud of that?
253
00:14:26,178 --> 00:14:28,366
You proud of that sentence
you just said?
254
00:14:32,684 --> 00:14:34,775
What are you doing here?
You have an appointment?
255
00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:37,544
No, but you're about
to have a disappointment.
256
00:14:37,818 --> 00:14:40,712
Meg, I've got to break things off.
You can't be my backup wife.
257
00:14:40,986 --> 00:14:42,420
What? That?
258
00:14:42,545 --> 00:14:45,425
For heaven's sakes, I thought
that was some kind of a joke.
259
00:14:45,807 --> 00:14:48,094
And the ego goes into defense mode.
260
00:14:50,220 --> 00:14:52,217
Amazing how the human brain
works, isn't it?
261
00:14:53,511 --> 00:14:54,851
She keeps saying my name.
262
00:14:55,486 --> 00:14:56,648
You got it bad, Meg.
263
00:14:56,773 --> 00:14:59,022
You just need to turn around
and walk away.
264
00:14:59,244 --> 00:15:00,524
But this is my office.
265
00:15:00,861 --> 00:15:02,887
Good, good, throw yourself
into your work.
266
00:15:03,012 --> 00:15:05,257
Now, listen, I'm going to leave,
but...
267
00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:06,895
these little love notes?
268
00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:08,756
Meg, no more of these.
269
00:15:09,005 --> 00:15:12,118
That's an appointment card.
I send them to all my patients.
270
00:15:16,303 --> 00:15:18,860
Now I know it won't be easy,
but try to forget about me.
271
00:15:18,985 --> 00:15:21,234
Do something nice for yourself.
Get a massage.
272
00:15:21,359 --> 00:15:23,409
Go have salad with the girls...
273
00:15:23,853 --> 00:15:27,223
But if you just can't stop thinking
about this gorgeous mug...
274
00:15:27,348 --> 00:15:28,954
Well, maybe this will help.
275
00:15:32,089 --> 00:15:33,098
You're welcome!
276
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:38,877
So, since I went ahead and broke up
with my backup wife,
277
00:15:39,002 --> 00:15:40,388
you don't need to carry on
278
00:15:40,513 --> 00:15:43,135
with Francine's little backup
husband revenge thing!
279
00:15:43,260 --> 00:15:46,210
You mean, just pretend
like this never happened?
280
00:15:46,443 --> 00:15:49,447
- Right!
- That's a big emotional negatory!
281
00:15:49,689 --> 00:15:51,938
- I'm sorry?
- No can do!
282
00:15:52,364 --> 00:15:54,282
I'm in love with your wife!
283
00:15:54,679 --> 00:15:55,504
What?!
284
00:15:55,629 --> 00:15:58,048
She's sexy! She's funny!
285
00:15:58,173 --> 00:15:59,773
My niece loves her...!
286
00:16:00,670 --> 00:16:03,041
My niece is very important to me!
287
00:16:03,306 --> 00:16:05,964
Jim, I'm sorry,
but she's a happily married...
288
00:16:09,077 --> 00:16:10,396
Not anymore!
289
00:16:11,708 --> 00:16:12,656
What the fuck!
290
00:16:16,741 --> 00:16:19,017
You lost your damn mind, Jim?
291
00:16:19,142 --> 00:16:20,342
That was Stan!
292
00:16:20,637 --> 00:16:22,187
You just killed Stan!
293
00:16:25,365 --> 00:16:27,003
All right.
What's done is done.
294
00:16:27,128 --> 00:16:28,438
Can't change it now.
295
00:16:28,563 --> 00:16:30,557
Reggie's just got to keep moving.
296
00:16:36,987 --> 00:16:40,597
And so, on behalf of the Guinness Book
of World Records,
297
00:16:40,722 --> 00:16:42,997
I, Lady Carolyn Gilbert-Lawson,
298
00:16:43,122 --> 00:16:47,134
congratulate Achmed Asadi
for making the world's biggest falafel.
299
00:16:54,284 --> 00:16:55,555
You're a fraud, Asadi!
300
00:16:55,894 --> 00:16:57,994
I just wanted to impress Zamira!
301
00:16:58,152 --> 00:16:59,726
She is so beautiful!
302
00:17:07,742 --> 00:17:10,620
Hey, lady, is that your hot air balloon?
I need a ride back to the States.
303
00:17:10,745 --> 00:17:14,532
I'm sorry, but that balloon
is for official Guinness business only.
304
00:17:14,866 --> 00:17:16,553
What if I told you
we'd set the record
305
00:17:16,678 --> 00:17:19,079
for "Most Spontaneous Cross Atlantic
Hot Air Balloon Trip"?
306
00:17:19,389 --> 00:17:21,159
I'm sorry, sir, I can't...
307
00:17:21,284 --> 00:17:23,152
What if I told you
I'm about to set the record
308
00:17:23,277 --> 00:17:25,575
for shooting a woman in the face
the most times in a row?
309
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:28,314
Alejandro, fire up the balloon!
310
00:17:34,524 --> 00:17:37,579
Hayley, we worked all day,
and we finally figured everything out.
311
00:17:37,704 --> 00:17:39,527
- Really?
- Yeah, I'm good cop,
312
00:17:39,652 --> 00:17:40,823
{pos(192,230)}and Roger's bad cop.
313
00:17:40,948 --> 00:17:42,265
{pos(192,230)}I make the wisecracks,
314
00:17:42,390 --> 00:17:45,129
{pos(192,230)}but Roger can be sarcastic,
as long as it's not too schticky.
315
00:17:45,254 --> 00:17:47,997
{pos(192,230)}I get to have the troubled past,
but Steve always gets the girl.
316
00:17:48,122 --> 00:17:50,837
Unless she's a bad guy,
in which case, Roger gets her,
317
00:17:50,962 --> 00:17:53,884
so she can betray him, leading to
a gunfight on the roof of an opera{ house}.
318
00:17:54,009 --> 00:17:55,448
- Or a theater.
- Or a theater.
319
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:58,237
What the hell are you talking about?
Where's my Shuffle?
320
00:17:58,362 --> 00:18:00,686
- Your what now?
- That was the whole point of this.
321
00:18:00,811 --> 00:18:03,707
You were supposed to find
my iPod Shuffle, rember?
322
00:18:03,972 --> 00:18:05,596
Is that what a Shuffle is?
323
00:18:05,721 --> 00:18:08,342
- I did not realize. Yeah, I took that.
- What?
324
00:18:08,467 --> 00:18:12,078
I was in {Hayley's }her room, using her toothbrush
to scrub the bird poo out of my red wig.
325
00:18:12,203 --> 00:18:14,503
What? Oh, God, I'm going to be sick.
326
00:18:14,892 --> 00:18:16,892
Can I finish my story, please?
327
00:18:17,017 --> 00:18:18,922
Anyway, I took your iPod
from the dresser
328
00:18:19,047 --> 00:18:20,714
for a variety of complex reasons,
329
00:18:20,839 --> 00:18:22,809
the most important of which
was that it was shiny.
330
00:18:23,415 --> 00:18:25,786
I erased all your music
and filled it with ABBA.
331
00:18:25,911 --> 00:18:27,872
Don't really care for them,
but I did it anyway.
332
00:18:27,997 --> 00:18:30,992
So that explains the red hair
we found in Klaus's bowl.
333
00:18:31,117 --> 00:18:33,902
I guess it wasn't just
a red hair-ing!
334
00:18:34,027 --> 00:18:35,321
Nice pun work, Wheels.
335
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:36,608
Thanks, Legman.
336
00:18:36,733 --> 00:18:38,667
The puns are there in the marble.
337
00:18:38,792 --> 00:18:41,850
- I just have to chisel them out.
- Free them from the marble.
338
00:18:43,942 --> 00:18:44,998
You need something?
339
00:18:48,848 --> 00:18:51,474
Thanks.
Why do you travel like this, Alejandro?
340
00:18:51,599 --> 00:18:52,839
I'll tell you why, Stan.
341
00:18:54,349 --> 00:18:57,619
Will you put me in the record book
as the happiest man alive
342
00:18:57,744 --> 00:19:01,040
by becoming Mrs. Lady Carolyn
Gilbert Lawson-Rojas?
343
00:19:01,382 --> 00:19:02,443
Yes, Alejandro!
344
00:19:02,568 --> 00:19:04,068
A million times yes!
345
00:19:12,654 --> 00:19:13,469
You!
346
00:19:29,344 --> 00:19:30,960
Francine, help!
347
00:19:31,891 --> 00:19:34,547
I'm dealing with
a little problem of my own.
348
00:19:37,070 --> 00:19:39,258
- What are you doing?
- We're going to be together.
349
00:19:39,383 --> 00:19:40,804
Like we planned.
350
00:19:42,187 --> 00:19:43,890
No, we broke up, remember?
351
00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:45,525
I know. No, I know.
352
00:19:45,650 --> 00:19:47,931
Look, I really tried
to play it cool, but...
353
00:19:48,056 --> 00:19:50,206
But the truth is, you were right.
354
00:19:50,552 --> 00:19:51,552
I love you.
355
00:19:51,740 --> 00:19:54,359
And my heart has a cavity
that only you can fill!
356
00:19:55,170 --> 00:19:56,419
That is clever...
357
00:19:56,544 --> 00:19:58,261
and super-crazy.
358
00:20:00,974 --> 00:20:03,024
Stan, this is all my fault.
359
00:20:05,216 --> 00:20:08,786
I was jealous,
so I tried to make you jealous.
360
00:20:10,458 --> 00:20:12,654
No, it's my fault.
361
00:20:12,811 --> 00:20:15,207
There's a lot of things
you should make backup plans for,
362
00:20:15,332 --> 00:20:17,324
but love isn't one of them.
363
00:20:18,554 --> 00:20:20,436
Stan, that's beautiful.
364
00:20:29,277 --> 00:20:30,103
My tooth!
365
00:20:30,380 --> 00:20:31,855
I can put a crown on for you.
366
00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:33,734
I'm not going to you anymore.
367
00:20:33,859 --> 00:20:35,775
Good luck getting
your x-rays back, bitch!
368
00:20:40,310 --> 00:20:42,657
Nobody shoots my backup husband.
369
00:20:43,477 --> 00:20:46,077
Meg, you saved my life!
I love you!
370
00:20:56,611 --> 00:20:57,737
Just, just...
371
00:20:59,129 --> 00:21:01,502
- Did we just find another case?
- Are you kidding me?
372
00:21:01,627 --> 00:21:02,747
This is gruesome.
373
00:21:02,872 --> 00:21:04,810
This is like a cable crime.
We're network.
374
00:21:04,935 --> 00:21:07,242
- Yeah, no one dies on our show.
- Right.
375
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:09,928
Let's face it:
On our darkest day, we're Scooby-Doo.
376
00:21:10,053 --> 00:21:11,356
Maybe Quincy.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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