1
00:00:03,873 --> 00:00:05,396
Hayley.
Hayley, wake up.
2
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,007
It's a horrible
family emergency!
3
00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:08,530
What?!
God what?!
4
00:00:08,573 --> 00:00:11,011
The emergency is your life
isn't going anywhere,
5
00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,403
so we're going to
get you some drive.
6
00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:14,188
We're going for a drive?
7
00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:15,319
In a car?
8
00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:17,321
No,
we're going for a walk.
9
00:00:17,365 --> 00:00:20,020
In our bodies.
10
00:00:20,063 --> 00:00:22,022
As you know, every day
I leap out of bed
11
00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:23,675
and fly into my slippers.
12
00:00:23,719 --> 00:00:25,242
Of course,
your "leap of faith."
13
00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:27,157
It shakes the whole house.
14
00:00:27,201 --> 00:00:30,334
But what you don't know is
every morning before my leap,
15
00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:33,076
I take a brisk walk around
Langley's historic
16
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,209
Gaslamp District
to get the blood up
17
00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:36,862
and the laziness down.
18
00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:39,082
You go on this walk
and then get back in bed?
19
00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:41,215
This healthy routine
gives me the drive
20
00:00:41,258 --> 00:00:43,173
I need to have
a successful career.
21
00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:44,696
I want that for you, too.
22
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:47,569
But I already have
a successful career at SubHub.
23
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:49,875
They even trust me enough
to let me have a key.
24
00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:51,051
A key to where?
25
00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:52,704
The bathroom.
26
00:00:52,748 --> 00:00:54,358
Just as I feared.
27
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:56,099
The room so awful
it's where we hide
28
00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:57,535
our disgusting toilets.
29
00:00:57,579 --> 00:00:59,624
Hayley,
SubHub is not a career.
30
00:00:59,668 --> 00:01:02,627
It's a dead-end.
But I'm showing you a way out,
31
00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:04,281
complete with breakfast
at a little place
32
00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:05,543
I like to call...
33
00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:07,241
Johnny Fifties!
34
00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:10,374
I remember this place!
35
00:01:10,418 --> 00:01:11,767
We used to come here
all the time.
36
00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:13,073
Johnny, my man!
37
00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:14,291
Gimme a piece of toast,
38
00:01:14,335 --> 00:01:16,206
and mash up
these peas for me.
39
00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:19,209
But only if you promise
not to charge me for the peas.
40
00:01:19,253 --> 00:01:20,602
They're my property, Johnny.
41
00:01:20,645 --> 00:01:24,388
I won't pay for what's
already mine, Johnny.
42
00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:27,217
Again, Stan,
my name is Sal.
43
00:01:27,261 --> 00:01:28,914
The restaurant
is Johnny Fif--
44
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:30,133
Ooh, I'll have
a shortstack of pan--
45
00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:31,787
No, the food is terrible.
46
00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:34,746
You just come to soak up
that authentic 1990s-style
47
00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:36,400
'50s atmosphere.
48
00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:39,229
Stan, I've got some bad news.
We're closing.
49
00:01:39,273 --> 00:01:41,144
Closing?!
How could this be?!
50
00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:45,105
Well, people just don't care
about 1950s nostalgia anymore.
51
00:01:45,148 --> 00:01:47,977
Or maybe we'd have survived if,
I dunno, every day
52
00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:50,022
you bought something
more expensive than toast.
53
00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:51,589
Johnny, 86 the toast.
54
00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:53,025
You can't expect
people to eat
55
00:01:53,069 --> 00:01:54,984
after getting terrible
news like that!
56
00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:57,117
♪
57
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,857
STAN: No! No!
Stop the music!
58
00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:00,946
Not today,
big brass band!
59
00:02:00,990 --> 00:02:02,252
Shut up!
Shut up!
60
00:02:02,296 --> 00:02:04,428
You okay up there,
Mr. Smith?
61
00:02:04,472 --> 00:02:06,430
Johnny Fifties
is going under.
62
00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:08,954
It's bad news,
or to put it in terms
63
00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:11,131
you'll understand,
bad music.
64
00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:13,045
Well,
if you love the place so much,
65
00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:14,656
maybe you could
give them a loan?
66
00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:16,962
I just don't know where
I'd find the money.
67
00:02:17,006 --> 00:02:19,051
Anyway, you and the boys
take the rest of the week off,
68
00:02:19,095 --> 00:02:21,271
fully paid of course.
69
00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:23,882
Well it's official, gang.
70
00:02:23,926 --> 00:02:25,971
I have Hep C.
71
00:02:26,015 --> 00:02:28,452
I think it's time for some
major lifestyle changes --
72
00:02:28,496 --> 00:02:30,193
Red alert!
Family emergency!
73
00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:31,673
What?!
God what?!
74
00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:33,979
I'm too upset to say
what the emergency is.
75
00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:35,851
I must carve it.
76
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,899
J...
77
00:02:40,943 --> 00:02:42,901
O...
78
00:02:42,945 --> 00:02:45,295
Oh, it's about Johnny Fifties closing.
79
00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:46,992
I heard him tell
the Bandleader.
80
00:02:47,036 --> 00:02:49,517
Oh, yeah,
Johnny Fifties!
81
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:51,345
Their food sucks.
82
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,216
And no Shock Top.
83
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:54,913
STAN: Okay, my fingers hurt.
84
00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:56,524
It's Johnny Fifties.
85
00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:58,482
I cannot let
this restaurant close.
86
00:02:58,526 --> 00:03:00,092
- Why?
- Well, for one thing,
87
00:03:00,136 --> 00:03:01,659
it's part
of my morning routine.
88
00:03:01,703 --> 00:03:03,183
But also, let's be honest.
89
00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:05,185
I'm a '50s kind of guy.
90
00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:06,838
Exhibit A -- My suit.
91
00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:10,494
Oh, yeah,
your suit is sort of '50s.
92
00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:12,844
For a '50s guy like me,
letting Johnny Fifties
93
00:03:12,888 --> 00:03:15,412
close would be like admitting
the '50s were over.
94
00:03:15,456 --> 00:03:17,849
TOGETHER:
But the '50s are over!
95
00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:20,374
Don't you get it?!
If you're truly nostalgic,
96
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:22,027
nothing is ever over!
97
00:03:22,071 --> 00:03:23,899
As someone who was alive
back then
98
00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:27,119
with a Wolfman Jack-type
radio DJ persona
99
00:03:27,163 --> 00:03:30,253
and a number-one doo wop hit,
I think Stan's onto something.
100
00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:31,863
Look around this house, guys.
101
00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:33,213
Not a lot of love
for the '50s.
102
00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:35,040
He's right.
No Jell-O molds.
103
00:03:35,084 --> 00:03:36,520
No hula hoops!
104
00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:40,611
Plus, you're not watching
TV while you eat!
105
00:03:40,655 --> 00:03:43,440
And even if you were,
Happy Days is never on!
106
00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:45,137
Uhp, there it is,
but it's a bad one,
107
00:03:45,181 --> 00:03:46,443
doesn't count --
too much Potsie.
108
00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:48,097
That's it!
If I'm going to
109
00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:49,272
save the restaurant --
110
00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:50,708
You have to improve
the food?
111
00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:53,407
I need to get people to love
the '50s again!
112
00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:55,931
There's no time to lose!
113
00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:59,282
Did you know glory holes were
much, much larger in the '50s?
114
00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:01,284
One time me and both
Everly Brothers
115
00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:02,546
stuck our junk
in one together
116
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:03,982
all at the same time.
117
00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:05,288
And you know who was
on the other side?
118
00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:06,898
The Big Bopper.
119
00:04:06,942 --> 00:04:08,596
At least that's what it felt
like, I never saw him.
120
00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:09,901
[all scream]
121
00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:12,513
What? Never seen
a successful person before?
122
00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:15,559
Is this supposed to be
like Dad's
123
00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:17,169
"leap of faith"
out of bed?
124
00:04:17,213 --> 00:04:19,563
It's a natural expression
of drive.
125
00:04:19,607 --> 00:04:21,478
The Regional Manager's
coming to SubHub today
126
00:04:21,522 --> 00:04:23,959
and I am gonna show him,
and Dad,
127
00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:26,004
that I've got
what it takes to get ahead.
128
00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:30,400
Mr. S throws our food
on the ground
129
00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:32,402
and she jumps
all over the table?
130
00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:34,752
Someone's gotta say it.
131
00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:37,799
They made a mockery
of breakfast.
132
00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:42,717
As your regional manager,
I'm here
133
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,633
because by now, most of you
have seen the leaked documents
134
00:04:45,676 --> 00:04:47,765
referring to your positions
as "dead-end jobs."
135
00:04:47,809 --> 00:04:49,289
Uh, what documents?
136
00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:50,855
It doesn't matter.
137
00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:54,294
The point here is
your jobs are not dead-ends.
138
00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:55,425
Yes,
dead-ender in the back.
139
00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:56,948
So are we allowed to drink
140
00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:58,298
the Oranginas or what?
141
00:04:58,341 --> 00:04:59,777
Give me a promotion!
142
00:04:59,821 --> 00:05:01,344
I've got the keys
to success!
143
00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:04,216
Or should I say
the bathroom?
144
00:05:04,260 --> 00:05:07,307
Pee pee? Poo pee?
What's your pleasure?
145
00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:08,960
Tell me what you need,
what SubHub needs,
146
00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:10,484
and I am on it.
147
00:05:10,527 --> 00:05:13,138
Well, we would like
to open a new location
148
00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:15,227
in the hugely-desirable-
nearly-impossible-to-find-
149
00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:17,360
an-open-space-in
Gaslamp District.
150
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:20,363
[gasps]
I know just the place.
151
00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:25,150
Johnny Fifties is closing
and SubHub can take its place!
152
00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:26,630
Great idea!
153
00:05:26,674 --> 00:05:27,805
You're promoted!
154
00:05:27,849 --> 00:05:29,633
The rest of you --
demoted!
155
00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:32,462
You live here now
and get paid in pepperoni.
156
00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:34,029
According to math,
157
00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:36,510
Johnny Fifties can stay afloat
for eight weeks.
158
00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:38,163
And we're gonna need
every minute of it
159
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:40,165
to get people
to love the '50s again.
160
00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:41,993
'Cause you really have to
love the '50s
161
00:05:42,037 --> 00:05:44,822
to stomach your signature
nauseating burgers.
162
00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:46,171
I mean you no disrespect, Johnny.
163
00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:47,651
My name is Sal.
164
00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:50,567
I call it
"Operation '50s Heat Up:
165
00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:54,049
Get 'Em Interested In The '50s
And Save Johnny Fifties!"
166
00:05:54,092 --> 00:05:57,400
What if we call it
"Operation '50s Fever?"
167
00:05:57,444 --> 00:06:00,403
Horrible idea.
Klaus, you're going to Milwaukee
168
00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:02,274
to get the statue
of Arthur Fonzarelli,
169
00:06:02,318 --> 00:06:04,233
aka The Bronze Fonz.
170
00:06:04,276 --> 00:06:05,495
I need it! Go now!
171
00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:06,888
[scoffs]
172
00:06:06,931 --> 00:06:08,846
[door closes]
173
00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:10,500
I don't really need
the Fonz statue.
174
00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:11,936
We just can't have
Klaus around
175
00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,503
sloshing his bowl water
all over
176
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,070
everyone's classic cars.
177
00:06:15,113 --> 00:06:17,377
Everyone will have
classic cars?
178
00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:19,074
And more!
Here's some concept art
179
00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:21,119
I had made to inspire us.
180
00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:24,732
Cruisin' cars, lawn darts,
asbestos chunks,
181
00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:28,388
Johnny Fifties bursting with
hungry Fonzie impersonators.
182
00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:31,739
Stan, you seem to be leaning
pretty heavily on Fonzie.
183
00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:34,916
Um, people also like,
I don't know, Elvis?
184
00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:37,527
Oh, you mean Singing Fonzie.
Good idea!
185
00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:39,703
I always wanted to be
like Marilyn Monroe
186
00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:41,923
and have an air vent
blow my dress up!
187
00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:43,925
You'll do it!
And Roger, you do your old
188
00:06:43,968 --> 00:06:45,883
Wolfman Jack DJ persona.
189
00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:48,320
That persona
was unforgettable.
190
00:06:48,364 --> 00:06:50,453
What was his name again?
Wolfman Puck?
191
00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:51,715
No, that's not it.
Don't worry,
192
00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:52,977
it'll come
to me on the air.
193
00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:54,457
Jeff, you're a beatnik,
194
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:57,417
and Steve, you can be a nerd
or "square."
195
00:06:57,460 --> 00:07:00,115
Easy.
True to the time period,
196
00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:02,770
I'll put tape on my glasses
to make them appear broken --
197
00:07:02,813 --> 00:07:04,467
STAN: No need!
198
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,774
Just like James Dean,
I pulled my punch
199
00:07:06,817 --> 00:07:08,166
so I only hurt
the glasses.
200
00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:09,429
No you didn't!
201
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:11,822
Hayley,
you can be Spudnik.
202
00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:14,085
He was a very famous potato.
203
00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:17,611
Dad, you won't believe this.
Your walk gave me drive.
204
00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:21,484
And that drive got me a job
as manager of a new SubHub
205
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:23,573
opening where Johnny Fifties
used to be!
206
00:07:23,617 --> 00:07:26,315
But Johnny Fifties is where
Johnny Fifties used to be.
207
00:07:26,358 --> 00:07:28,273
Not for long.
After I told them
208
00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:31,276
it was closing,
SubHub sweet-talked the landlord
209
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,670
into taking over
the lease in two days!
210
00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:36,456
But two days isn't nearly
enough time for my plan!
211
00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:37,935
Aren't you happy for me?
212
00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:39,937
Happy?
You betrayed me.
213
00:07:39,981 --> 00:07:42,287
You're trying to destroy
a place I love.
214
00:07:42,331 --> 00:07:43,767
So, you don't like it
when I don't have drive,
215
00:07:43,811 --> 00:07:45,943
and you don't like
when I do have drive.
216
00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:47,292
What even is this?
217
00:07:47,336 --> 00:07:49,599
"Operation '50s Fever"?
218
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:51,296
My original idea.
Klaus was never here.
219
00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:53,516
Blueprints for
a leather jacket?
220
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:56,345
A list of places
for Beaver to leave it?
221
00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:59,479
- This plan is so stupid.
- [gasps]
222
00:07:59,522 --> 00:08:01,785
Thank God I commissioned
concept art
223
00:08:01,829 --> 00:08:04,135
for every possible betrayal.
224
00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:07,312
This is exactly how I feel,
right down to my giant ass!
225
00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:08,836
I can't let her
do this to me.
226
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:10,185
New plan!
227
00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:12,492
Oh, good, that one
was kinda stupid --
228
00:08:12,535 --> 00:08:14,494
The old plan, faster!
229
00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:17,975
We'll do "Operation '50s Fever"
in 48 hours!
230
00:08:18,019 --> 00:08:20,630
Why have I pinned my hopes
on this fool?
231
00:08:20,674 --> 00:08:23,503
Would a fool get concept art
of himself
232
00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:25,896
dressed as a court jester
pleading with the king
233
00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:27,811
not to cut his head off
for not having enough bells
234
00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:29,334
on his jester hat?
235
00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:31,859
I'm a goner!
Welp, lesson learned.
236
00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:33,513
Shoulda had more bells.
237
00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:36,124
Big Daddy Stan
needs Langley to catch
238
00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:38,300
a baaad case of '50s Fever
239
00:08:38,343 --> 00:08:40,041
or else Hayley
will be proven right
240
00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:42,347
that Stan's plan
to save Johnny Fifties
241
00:08:42,391 --> 00:08:45,176
is a stupid, stuuuupid plan.
242
00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:47,091
You heard it from me,
uh...
243
00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:48,440
what's my name again?
244
00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:50,138
The '50s was so long ago.
245
00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:52,793
Wolfboy... George?
246
00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:55,056
Did I mention Hayley thinks
Stan's plan is stupid?
247
00:08:56,753 --> 00:09:00,061
Gah! I feel betrayed
by Hayley all over again!
248
00:09:00,104 --> 00:09:01,802
- And by you!
- Why me?!
249
00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:03,717
Because you're here
talking my ear off
250
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,370
when you should be
buying extra food
251
00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:07,677
for when I ignite
'50s Fever!
252
00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:10,637
But Stan,
I'm bankrupt --
253
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,943
You don't say
you're "bankrupt," Daddy-O.
254
00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:14,510
You say you're
"on the skids."
255
00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:18,427
I like your plan.
256
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:21,169
And I love not
wearing seatbelts.
257
00:09:21,212 --> 00:09:22,257
Aah!
258
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:24,302
The CIA's Cuban Operations
259
00:09:24,346 --> 00:09:26,914
really came through with these
classic cars on short notice.
260
00:09:26,957 --> 00:09:28,742
Paging Mr. Bega,
261
00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:31,571
can you say
"Mambo Number '50s"?
262
00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:32,963
[laughs]
263
00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:34,356
[gags, coughs]
264
00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:35,879
Plenty more where
that came from.
265
00:09:35,923 --> 00:09:37,402
Like a greaser,
I've got goodies
266
00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:39,143
rolled up all over my body.
267
00:09:39,187 --> 00:09:40,362
Pack of raisins.
268
00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:42,451
Box of Goobers
in my waistband.
269
00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:46,934
FRANCINE: Aah!
270
00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:50,328
Where are
all the contestants?!
271
00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:52,504
You had one simple job, Steve.
272
00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:54,855
To gather 500 to 600 professional
273
00:09:54,898 --> 00:09:57,205
Fonzie impersonators
on an hour's notice.
274
00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:59,207
How was I supposed
to get the word out?
275
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:00,774
You won't let me use
my computer!
276
00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:02,384
Before there was e-mail,
277
00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:04,778
there was just plain
tell-e-grams.
278
00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:08,042
And we attached them to the
infamously dangerous lawn darts.
279
00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:11,480
Infamously
dangerously fun.
280
00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:12,786
[dart impacts, man screams]
281
00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:15,092
Have faith, son.
Trends always start with
282
00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:17,791
one single brave
cool guy.
283
00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:20,010
But this time it's not
James Dean.
284
00:10:20,054 --> 00:10:21,838
It's James Me--
285
00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:24,101
[gagging]
286
00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:25,799
Enough of these faulty
toothpicks!
287
00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:29,629
It's time to show Hayley
just how wrong she is.
288
00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:30,673
Okay, one more try.
289
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:32,501
[gagging]
290
00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:35,896
♪
291
00:10:35,939 --> 00:10:37,593
Oh, Marilyn!
292
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,900
Time to walk
over that normal vent!
293
00:10:40,944 --> 00:10:43,164
I'm in a hurry!
Outta my way!
294
00:10:43,207 --> 00:10:45,949
Whoa, the air's so hot!
295
00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:47,037
My genitals!
296
00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:48,865
Aaaaaaagh!
297
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,218
Hey, let's play chicken!
298
00:10:55,698 --> 00:10:57,395
Whoa!
299
00:10:57,439 --> 00:10:59,833
Someone shred that guy
and slather him
300
00:10:59,876 --> 00:11:01,225
in hot mayonnaise
and marshmallows,
301
00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:02,792
because he's a chicken,
302
00:11:02,836 --> 00:11:04,968
and that's my recipe
for Chicken Ambrosia.
303
00:11:08,842 --> 00:11:11,932
Here's one that never fails
to spark '50s Fever --
304
00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:14,412
passing a milkshake
between cars.
305
00:11:15,022 --> 00:11:16,327
I can't reach you!
306
00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:18,112
I like bongos!
307
00:11:20,505 --> 00:11:21,724
Too thick!
308
00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,595
The way it used to be!
309
00:11:23,639 --> 00:11:24,771
Aah!
310
00:11:24,814 --> 00:11:26,120
[crash, horn blaring]
311
00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:31,342
Ribs broken by
steering column...
312
00:11:31,386 --> 00:11:33,388
the way it used to be.
313
00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:36,696
HAYLEY: Yes!
314
00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:39,089
Yay!
315
00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:41,222
With '50s Fever
failing to catch,
316
00:11:41,265 --> 00:11:44,051
it looks like SubHub's
new location is all
317
00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:46,836
but a certainty,
which means...
318
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,446
I'm really
gonna be a manager!
319
00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:50,405
With a manager's salary.
320
00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:53,190
And a manager's mansion.
321
00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:56,324
HAYLEY: Who is this
concept artist everyone's using?
322
00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:59,631
None of this would be possible
without you.
323
00:11:59,675 --> 00:12:01,851
- [flames bursting]
- My rod is too hot!
324
00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:03,592
And the Goobers in my pants
melted!
325
00:12:03,635 --> 00:12:05,594
[laughter]
326
00:12:05,637 --> 00:12:07,074
Yeah.
327
00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:09,163
None of this would be possible
without me.
328
00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:11,731
You feel bad for a man
who doesn't want his daughter
329
00:12:11,774 --> 00:12:13,036
to live in a mansion?
330
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,472
The best type of house?!
331
00:12:14,516 --> 00:12:17,345
It's all Hayley's fault!
332
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:19,651
I should've known
she'd mess up having drive
333
00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:22,785
like she has everything
else in her life.
334
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,482
That's it.
335
00:12:24,526 --> 00:12:27,137
You're live
on the air with...
336
00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:28,356
some kinda wolf...
337
00:12:28,399 --> 00:12:29,879
Dad,
I know you're listening,
338
00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:31,359
and I want you to know
339
00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:33,578
I'm with people who appreciate
my drive
340
00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:35,929
so much
I'm getting a mansion.
341
00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:37,800
ROGER: Wow. For our listeners
who don't know,
342
00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:40,063
that's the best type of
house.
343
00:12:40,107 --> 00:12:42,805
HAYLEY: So just give up now
and stop embarrassing yourself!
344
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:44,024
[cellphone rings]
345
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:45,895
- [wolf howls]
- Another caller!
346
00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:47,244
This isn't over, Hayley.
347
00:12:47,288 --> 00:12:49,029
The fever is catching.
348
00:12:49,072 --> 00:12:50,726
WOMAN:
It's the loser '50s guy!
349
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,815
He's cheating
and using a cellphone!
350
00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:55,209
Loser?
Maybe free asbestos
351
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:56,514
will change your mind!
352
00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:59,039
The miracle molecule
of the '50s!
353
00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:00,997
- WOMAN: Ugh!
- And, uh...
354
00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:03,826
it's only gonna get more
feverish when people see,
355
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:04,958
uh...
356
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:08,918
...a James Dean type like me
357
00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:12,313
in a classic teenage knife fight
up at the old observatory!
358
00:13:12,356 --> 00:13:14,750
DJ, play a song
of betrayal.
359
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,753
I wanna dedicate it
to my daughter.
360
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:21,017
♪ Betrayal
is a terrible thing♪
361
00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:23,498
♪ The pain can last so long♪
362
00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:26,370
♪ Oh, the devil's gonna poke
you in your giant ass♪
363
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:29,896
♪ And your daughter's
gonna cheer him on♪
364
00:13:29,939 --> 00:13:32,768
[tires screech]
365
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,465
Watch out, teens!
366
00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:38,034
This rebel's gonna cause you
to love the '50s!
367
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:39,470
[teens gasp]
368
00:13:39,514 --> 00:13:40,907
- [screaming]
- Oh, my God!
369
00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:42,604
You stabbed me!
370
00:13:42,647 --> 00:13:44,475
It's just a nick!
Please like this
371
00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:46,129
so I can prove
my daughter wrong!
372
00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:47,739
Please, I beg you!
373
00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:48,958
I'm not crazy!
374
00:13:49,002 --> 00:13:51,004
I just really love
a restaurant.
375
00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:52,875
[sobbing]
376
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:55,051
That's him! The Bowzer
from Sha Na Na lookalike
377
00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:56,661
who pooped his pants!
378
00:13:56,705 --> 00:13:59,229
James Dean... Goobers.
379
00:13:59,273 --> 00:14:01,188
Yeah,
that's what they all say.
380
00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:03,886
We've got a warrant for your
arrest and plenty of witnesses.
381
00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:07,629
♪
382
00:14:07,672 --> 00:14:10,937
Before you arrest me,
I just want to say
383
00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:12,982
none of that stuff
I did was wrong
384
00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:15,289
in the '50s.
You could get away with
385
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:17,857
all kinds of
crazy stuff because...
386
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:20,816
♪ We didn't know
that was bad yet♪
387
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,513
♪ We didn't know
that could kill ya♪
388
00:14:25,038 --> 00:14:27,736
♪ Turn back the page
to an innocent age♪
389
00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:30,173
♪ We didn't know it was wrong♪
390
00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:32,175
You threw a lawn dart
in my skull!
391
00:14:32,219 --> 00:14:33,698
♪ We didn't know
it was wrong!♪
392
00:14:33,742 --> 00:14:35,091
You stabbed my son!
393
00:14:35,135 --> 00:14:36,353
♪ We didn't know,
we didn't know♪
394
00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:38,051
You threw asbestos
in my face!
395
00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:39,530
♪ Now you're insulated,
dude♪
396
00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:40,923
My genitals!
397
00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:42,533
♪ Wow, you're Howdy Doody
smooth♪
398
00:14:42,577 --> 00:14:45,319
♪ Turn back the page
to an innocent age♪
399
00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:47,843
♪ We didn't know
it was wrong♪
400
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,366
But what if someone
gets hurt?
401
00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:51,020
The nurses all wear
funny hats!
402
00:14:51,064 --> 00:14:53,893
What about the rampant sexism
and racism?
403
00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:55,329
It was wrong then
and it is wrong now
404
00:14:55,372 --> 00:14:56,852
and in our new '50s,
it isn't allowed!
405
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:57,940
[all cheering]
406
00:14:57,984 --> 00:14:59,507
The Fonzies came!
407
00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:02,727
- ♪ Ay♪
- ♪ Ay♪
408
00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:05,556
♪ We're Fonzies
and we're here to say♪
409
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,559
- ♪ Ay♪
- ♪ Ay♪
410
00:15:08,603 --> 00:15:11,867
♪ '50s fever's
here to stay♪
411
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:15,044
I get it! The '50s were about
willful ignorance!
412
00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:16,698
Now you're razzin'
my berries!
413
00:15:16,741 --> 00:15:18,918
So I don't have to
go to school?
414
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:20,397
♪ That was the opposite
of cool♪
415
00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:21,964
And I can litter
on the ground?
416
00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:23,096
♪ I call it nature's
lost and found♪
417
00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:24,880
And I can eat trans fats?
418
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,055
♪ Some say that's where
the flavor's at♪
419
00:15:26,099 --> 00:15:27,665
So I can stab my son?
420
00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:29,232
♪ It's just a nick,
and yes, it's fun!♪
421
00:15:29,276 --> 00:15:30,755
So I can drink and drive?
422
00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:32,105
♪ Fonzie did it
all the time♪
423
00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:33,715
ALL: Ay!
424
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:36,196
♪ Turn back the page
to an innocent age♪
425
00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:38,720
♪ We didn't know
it was wrong♪
426
00:15:38,763 --> 00:15:40,765
[crowd cheering]
427
00:15:40,809 --> 00:15:43,768
Now that you've ignited
'50s Fever, what's next, Stan?
428
00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:46,293
Going to Johnny Fifties,
saving it at long last?
429
00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:49,992
Too soon.
430
00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:51,951
These people aren't
hungry enough yet to choke down
431
00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,039
that wretched slop.
432
00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:54,823
Everyone, to the Sock Hop!
433
00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:56,564
It's over, Hayley.
434
00:15:56,607 --> 00:15:58,609
Everyone can't have
'50s Fever.
435
00:15:58,653 --> 00:16:00,916
My god,
it's happening in here!
436
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,963
Wail on that black forest ham,
big daddy!
437
00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:05,094
["Tequila" playing]
438
00:16:05,138 --> 00:16:07,140
Welp, we're throwing
in the towel.
439
00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:10,099
SubHub Corporate is as quick to
give up as we are to celebrate.
440
00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:11,971
Why would he do this
to me?
441
00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:14,451
He wanted me
to have drive.
442
00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:15,626
Wait...
443
00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:17,106
drive...
444
00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:20,457
Time to fight '50s
with '50s.
445
00:16:20,501 --> 00:16:26,681
♪
446
00:16:26,724 --> 00:16:28,857
FRANCINE: Aah!
447
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:31,077
Now that you've danced
yourselves ravenous
448
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:34,297
and would eat trash
like wild boars, let's go...
449
00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:35,820
save Johnny Fift--
450
00:16:35,864 --> 00:16:38,475
I challenge you
to a drag race!
451
00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:39,520
[audience gasps]
452
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:41,043
If I win the race,
453
00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:44,133
SubHub takes over
Johnny Fifties.
454
00:16:44,177 --> 00:16:45,787
Ha!
Why would I accept that
455
00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:47,528
when I already have
everything I want?
456
00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:51,358
Because --
'50s Honor demands it.
457
00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:55,144
[audience chanting
"'50s Honor!"]
458
00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:56,319
Okay! Okay!
459
00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:58,321
'50s Honor,
which I've just heard of,
460
00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:00,367
is everything to me!
461
00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:02,543
- Let's drag!
- [audience cheering]
462
00:17:02,891 --> 00:17:06,677
Everyone's finally tuning
into me, Dogboy Chuck,
463
00:17:06,721 --> 00:17:09,854
as we all wonder
who will win the big drag race.
464
00:17:09,898 --> 00:17:11,334
It's Stan vs. Hayley,
465
00:17:11,378 --> 00:17:13,423
Johnny Fifties vs. SubHub,
466
00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:14,772
past vs. future,
467
00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:17,645
today's glory holes
vs. giant '50s
468
00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:19,255
Looney Tunes sized
glory holes
469
00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:20,996
where you can just wave
at the guy or the gal
470
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,041
on the other side.
471
00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:25,131
[engines starting]
472
00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:27,568
Hayley, before I win,
473
00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:29,570
I should finally be
honest with you.
474
00:17:29,613 --> 00:17:31,746
I wish Fonzie
was my daughter.
475
00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:33,269
You're sick, Dad.
476
00:17:33,313 --> 00:17:36,185
And Fonzie is really more
of a '70s icon!
477
00:17:36,229 --> 00:17:38,100
Fonzie, Chachi, Potsie, Richie,
Fonzie, Chachi, Potsie, Richie!
478
00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:43,062
Don't!
These cars are death traps!
479
00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:44,280
Don't worry, Steve.
480
00:17:44,324 --> 00:17:46,108
I've had my mechanics
working all night.
481
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:47,849
Show 'em, boys!
482
00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:49,546
TOGETHER: Ay!
483
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:51,679
Safe enough for ya,
Steve?
484
00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:55,465
And I'm DJ Apeman Snack,
the voice of a generation
485
00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:57,250
and the face of a genera--
486
00:17:57,293 --> 00:17:59,469
damn it, you can't see
my face on the radio.
487
00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:01,123
I'll text you all a picture
of my face
488
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:02,907
using AMBER Alert technology.
489
00:18:02,951 --> 00:18:04,387
Look at it even
if you're driving.
490
00:18:06,389 --> 00:18:08,304
Sorry if my dick is also
in the picture.
491
00:18:08,348 --> 00:18:09,871
Don't let that
shock you off the road.
492
00:18:09,914 --> 00:18:12,482
And take off those seatbelts,
it's the '50s!
493
00:18:12,526 --> 00:18:14,615
Vietnam's around the corner
and it's gonna git ya!
494
00:18:18,706 --> 00:18:21,317
And now the song
you've all been waiting for,
495
00:18:21,361 --> 00:18:24,668
my very own number-one hit
from 1958,
496
00:18:24,712 --> 00:18:26,714
"Drag Race Angels"!
497
00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:30,021
This one's dedicated
to Stan and Hayley.
498
00:18:30,065 --> 00:18:33,199
♪ Drag race angels♪
499
00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:36,724
♪ A father who's mean♪
500
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:39,074
♪ Drag race angels♪
501
00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:43,470
♪ A daughter who dreams♪
502
00:18:43,513 --> 00:18:45,472
Wait a second,
I know this song.
503
00:18:45,515 --> 00:18:47,256
It was our song!
504
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:53,523
♪ Remember when Hayley♪
505
00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:57,179
♪ Was just a little girl?♪
506
00:18:57,223 --> 00:19:00,487
♪ You'd eat at Johnny Fifties♪
507
00:19:00,530 --> 00:19:02,837
♪ And drink a Malt
with two straws♪
508
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,056
♪ You love these memories♪
509
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,711
♪ Not the '50s,
you crazy drag race angel♪
510
00:19:07,755 --> 00:19:10,671
Wow.
This song really takes me back.
511
00:19:10,714 --> 00:19:13,717
And a lot of the lyrics
make more sense now than ever.
512
00:19:13,761 --> 00:19:16,242
I loved Johnny Fifties
because of the time
513
00:19:16,285 --> 00:19:18,026
I spent there with Hayley.
514
00:19:18,069 --> 00:19:19,897
But I can spend time
with her now!
515
00:19:19,941 --> 00:19:22,378
Must kill Dad!
516
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:24,467
Eesh.
Or maybe I can't.
517
00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:26,774
Man, how would Fonzie
fix this?
518
00:19:28,079 --> 00:19:29,646
Ay!
519
00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:33,868
Nay!
520
00:19:33,911 --> 00:19:40,744
♪
521
00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:42,833
The Bronze Fonz, Stan!
522
00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:44,531
I took some '50s-style benzos
523
00:19:44,574 --> 00:19:46,924
and drove to Milwaukee
and back in one day!
524
00:19:46,968 --> 00:19:51,233
♪
525
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:53,496
Johnny Fifties is saved!
526
00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:04,246
Oh, my God!
Dad, are you okay?
527
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:05,987
Oh, Hayley, forgive me.
528
00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:08,772
I haven't been James Dean
or James Me.
529
00:20:08,816 --> 00:20:11,297
I've been plain old
James Mean.
530
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:13,516
Dad, you -- you might have
brain damage.
531
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,779
One of your pupils
is so big.
532
00:20:15,823 --> 00:20:18,869
That's because I'm looking
at someone I love so big.
533
00:20:18,913 --> 00:20:21,307
Hayley, I want you to know
I support you
534
00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:23,309
wherever your drive
takes you next,
535
00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:24,962
SubHub or no SubHub.
536
00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:28,575
The toothpicks are back!
537
00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:32,100
I'm gonna drive you
to the hospital.
538
00:20:32,143 --> 00:20:34,276
I spy
with my little eye --
539
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,756
a table!
540
00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:38,628
Aww, it's our table!
541
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:41,240
ROGER:♪ Table angels♪
542
00:20:43,764 --> 00:20:45,331
♪ They love each other now♪
543
00:20:45,374 --> 00:20:49,552
♪ Don't worry about Sal♪
544
00:20:49,596 --> 00:20:51,728
♪ He sells Chicken Ambrosia,
wow♪
545
00:20:51,772 --> 00:20:52,947
♪ He's a billionaire♪
546
00:20:52,990 --> 00:20:56,603
♪ Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa♪
547
00:20:56,646 --> 00:20:57,778
Bye-bye! See you soon!