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00:00:00,867 --> 00:00:03,268
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
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00:00:03,270 --> 00:00:07,005
[ Glass shatters ]
Another Oktoberfest
in the books.
3
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,540
Now how're we
getting home?
4
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:11,676
Steve doesn't have a license,
I'm hammered, Francine's wasted,
5
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and Hayley's
way too drunk to drive.
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How can you tell?
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00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:20,084
Because when you abuse alcohol,
I like you more as a person.
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00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:21,019
I can drive!
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00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,487
I stayed sober all night
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00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:24,656
just so I could be
the designated driver.
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00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,892
What --
What about Jeff?
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00:00:27,894 --> 00:00:29,762
He can't, remember?
13
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He shattered his legs
in the beer stein race.
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Oh, God!
My legs!
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Gross!
Get out of here!
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00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,436
Come on, Stan!
Throw me the keys!
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00:00:38,438 --> 00:00:40,172
Absolutely not.
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What's the problem?
I already texted Klaus.
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He'll get us
home safe.
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00:00:44,911 --> 00:00:48,046
You guys want Klaus to drive
instead of me?
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Heck yeah we [Burping] doooo.
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[ Clanging ]
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Klaus in the house!
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More like Klaus in the truck!
[ Laughs ]
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00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,723
Hop in!
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Will you please take me
to the ER?
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00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:03,796
No way.
I'm not wasting my buzz
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00:01:03,798 --> 00:01:06,598
sitting around
an emergmancy rohm.
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00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,067
But the hospital's
on the way home!
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I could've skipped the hospital
just as well as Klaus!
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[ Screams ]
Oh, please.
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Legs heal, but there's
no greater pain
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than staying sober
all night for nothing.
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♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
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00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:29,822
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
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♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
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♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
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♪ Good -- ♪
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
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Aah!
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♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
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I can't believe none of you
would let me drive last night.
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I was so upset
I had to journal about it,
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and that's when I realized
none of you
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have gotten in a car with me
for the past six months!
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Why not?
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Okay,
I'm just gonna say it.
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00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:07,392
You're the worst driver
in the world.
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00:02:07,394 --> 00:02:08,727
Hayley, please.
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00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:10,729
You know how much I love
pointing out Roger's flaws,
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00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,731
but it's best we leave
this to a professional.
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That's why I scheduled
an appointment
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00:02:14,601 --> 00:02:15,934
with our insurance adjustor.
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You think I need
my insurance adjusted?
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Well, I think you need
your attitude adjusted!
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[ Sobbing ]
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Together: Insurance adjustor
Heinrich Brown?!
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00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:32,751
Please, come in.
I'll make some room for you.
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[ Crash ]
Jeff: Oh, God! My arms!
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Thank you, Stan.
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I'm here to explain the reasons
Uncle Roger is a threat
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to everything I hold dear
as an insurance adjustor.
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To do so, I'll be using a form
of street poetry
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00:02:45,099 --> 00:02:47,365
colloquially known
as "rap."
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[ Rap music plays ]
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[ Rapping ]
♪ Get up, unh, unh ♪
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00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,504
♪ My name is Heinrich Brown
and I'm here to say ♪
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♪ Uncle Roger drives
in a terrible way ♪
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♪ Behind the wheel,
he's negligent ♪
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I'm sorry, I just...can't.
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[ Record scratches ]
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00:03:03,718 --> 00:03:05,784
This hardened exterior
is a lie.
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I only pretend to be tough
because working in insurance
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00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:10,255
requires a lot of machismo.
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00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:12,324
But I need to be honest
with myself.
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I don't want to rap.
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I want to...
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♪ Sing ♪
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[ R&B music plays ]
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Uncle Roger, frankly,
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00:03:22,136 --> 00:03:26,471
there should be a hall of fame
for all your accidents.
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00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:30,742
I heard they were building one
and you drove right through it.
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00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:33,812
I guess the only thing left
to say is...
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Alright, here we go!
Full singing!
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♪ Roger, you know ♪
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♪ That you don't belong
on the road ♪
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♪ But you can't let go ♪
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00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:51,163
♪ It's so apropos ♪
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♪ That we're increasing ♪
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00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:55,768
♪ Your deductible ♪
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00:03:55,770 --> 00:03:58,303
I told you I saw a bunch
of people in the basement.
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00:03:58,305 --> 00:04:00,238
I still
don't believe you.
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00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:05,644
♪ No, you don't belong
on the road ♪
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00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:10,382
♪ But you can't let go ♪
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♪ Every single day ♪
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♪ You cause Stan to crash ♪
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♪ Into a flagpoooooole ♪
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♪ Oh, he is crashing ♪
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00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:26,799
♪ He's going down, down, down ♪
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00:04:26,801 --> 00:04:30,535
♪ Roger, you know that you
don't belong on the road ♪
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00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:34,406
♪ Somehow he walks away
every time ♪
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♪ But you can't let go ♪
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This song hurts my feelings,
which sucks,
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00:04:40,815 --> 00:04:42,881
because its already
stuck in my head.
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What a fabulous concert.
Is this free?
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00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,553
It feels free
because it's bundled
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00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:50,222
with your insurance plan.
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00:04:50,224 --> 00:04:52,358
Free! Free! Free!
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00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,828
♪♪
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Roger: Dear Journal,
I hope I can trust you
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00:04:58,232 --> 00:05:01,233
in the way no one trusts me,
which is a lot!
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00:05:01,235 --> 00:05:04,369
I'm still upset no one in this
family will let me drive.
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00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:06,905
Roger, I know this is
a great chance for a joke,
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00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,640
but I want to get
straight to it --
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00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:11,844
I'm willing to give you
driving lessons.
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00:05:11,846 --> 00:05:12,977
Hmm.
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00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,247
I guess I'd get to drive
your sick truck.
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00:05:15,249 --> 00:05:18,717
Yes. But you have to be
extremely careful.
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My truck is a highly specific
shade of orange
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00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,922
that's been proven
to cause epileptic seizures,
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00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:26,191
so they don't make
parts for it anymore.
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00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:28,660
If you're going to earn
the family's trust back,
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00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,795
you're going to have to show
them you can focus
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00:05:30,797 --> 00:05:32,330
while you're driving --
Hey, look!
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A sign!
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He's still allowed
to adopt?!
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[ Laughs ]
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Roger,
goddammit, watch the road!
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I can laugh
and watch the --
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[ Gasps ]
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Whee!
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00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:47,746
You crashed my perfect truck
into that hideous Tesla!
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Hmm...Tesla...
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00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:51,483
You better have good insurance,
pal.
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00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:53,285
Oh, God,
the orange of your truck
136
00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:55,153
is so highly
spec--
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[ Sputtering ]
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00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:00,559
Tesla...
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00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,294
Tesla...
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00:06:02,296 --> 00:06:04,696
♪♪
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00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:07,299
Roger, why did you invite us
to SoSo's?
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00:06:07,301 --> 00:06:08,967
Yeah,
this place sucks.
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00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:12,771
It smells like cheap marinara
and unpaid child support.
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00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,439
And the food...
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it tastes...
146
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I wanna say...
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bad?
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00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:20,178
Okay, you guys need to stop
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00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,446
shitting on SoSo's.
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00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,181
Alright? This is a perfectly
fine restaurant
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00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:24,449
for families on a budget.
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00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:25,784
Then why don't you
eat some?
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00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:28,052
What?! No!
I don't wanna die!
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Speaking of not dying,
I am finally willing to accept
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00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,125
that none of you
want me to drive.
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Thank you, Roger.
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00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:36,194
We appreciate you respecting
our wishes.
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00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:37,862
Sorry,
you didn't let me finish.
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00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:39,864
I'm willing to accept
that none of you
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00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:42,735
want me to drive
on Earth!
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00:06:44,338 --> 00:06:47,006
[ Engine humming ]
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00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:50,275
[ Screams ]
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[ All gasp ]
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[ Screaming ]
165
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:08,761
Wow! I've heard
about five-star dining,
166
00:07:08,763 --> 00:07:10,228
but this is ridiculous!
167
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:13,098
Looks like at SoSo's,
it's not just the savings
168
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,767
that are
out of this world!
169
00:07:14,769 --> 00:07:16,501
No, no, I should take
this seriously.
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00:07:16,503 --> 00:07:20,572
After all, there's a certain
gravity to this situation!
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We have fun.
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00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,480
Roger, what the hell
is going on?!
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00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:29,682
That's a fair question.
174
00:07:29,684 --> 00:07:32,685
See, SoSo's Pizzas
are alien spaceships
175
00:07:32,687 --> 00:07:33,952
placed throughout America
176
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,487
in preparation
for The Reckoning,
177
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:39,091
which is when an obscure
alien race will destroy humanity
178
00:07:39,093 --> 00:07:41,460
if they ever stop
making "Law & Order: SVU."
179
00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:44,763
[ Dramatic sting ]
180
00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:47,632
Everyone and their grandma
knows about The Reckoning.
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00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:51,103
We wanna know what's going on
with us being in space!
182
00:07:51,105 --> 00:07:53,772
Well, earlier, through
no fault of my own,
183
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:56,108
I crashed Klaus's truck
into a Tesla.
184
00:07:56,110 --> 00:07:59,177
That's when I remembered
Tesla put a car in space.
185
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:01,714
And now that's where we are.
Space!
186
00:08:01,716 --> 00:08:03,181
But why?!
187
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:05,918
Because driving in space
is way harder
188
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,185
than driving on land.
189
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:09,654
Up here,
even the slightest mistake
190
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:10,723
will get us all killed.
191
00:08:10,725 --> 00:08:12,190
So if I can do this,
192
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:14,192
you'll have no choice
but to trust me
193
00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:15,594
behind the wheel of a car.
194
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:18,730
That's your plan to get us
to trust you?!
195
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:19,932
Yup.
It was this
196
00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:21,800
or completely
changing my personality
197
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:24,403
and earning it over
the next 5 to 10 years.
198
00:08:24,405 --> 00:08:27,740
So you can see how space
makes a lot more sense for me.
199
00:08:27,742 --> 00:08:32,677
♪♪
200
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,414
I've got news!
The local SoSo's Pizza
201
00:08:35,416 --> 00:08:37,149
was obliterated
in what people
202
00:08:37,151 --> 00:08:38,683
who might not even
have been there
203
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:41,419
are calling
a freak gas explosion.
204
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:42,354
No!
205
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:46,091
My babe and babe-in-laws
were at that SoSo's!
206
00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:48,093
[ Wailing ]
207
00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:50,829
You lost your wife,
I lost my truck.
208
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,564
Could today
get any worse?
209
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:55,500
Hey, fish!
I heard about your dead family
210
00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:58,303
and totaled car.
I'm sorry you're feeling down,
211
00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:00,172
but your premiums
are going up!
212
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:04,143
[ Both sobbing ]
213
00:09:06,180 --> 00:09:08,246
Okay,
gonna keep it real simple.
214
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:11,850
Just a few quick maneuvers,
then it's right back to Earth.
215
00:09:13,454 --> 00:09:15,154
[ Beeping ]
216
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:22,527
Ta-dah!
217
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:24,496
Watch out! Tesla!
218
00:09:27,468 --> 00:09:29,868
Did you just get
into a car accident...
219
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:31,536
in space?
220
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:33,605
And is it just me,
221
00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:35,207
or are we drifting
further and further
222
00:09:35,209 --> 00:09:37,142
from our sweet Mother Gaia?
223
00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:41,213
Not to worry,
this is a perfect excuse
224
00:09:41,215 --> 00:09:43,215
to show off
my most impressive
225
00:09:43,217 --> 00:09:45,350
and unnecessary
space maneuver.
226
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:48,286
It's called
a Planetary Slingshot,
227
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:50,622
and it's when--
You use
the gravitational pull
228
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:53,625
of a planet to accelerate,
or "slingshot",
229
00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:56,294
your spacecraft
towards your destination.
230
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:57,696
The math checks out.
231
00:09:57,698 --> 00:10:01,033
FYI, you absolutely
cannot look at the sun.
232
00:10:01,035 --> 00:10:03,368
Looking directly into the sun
at this proximity
233
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:05,103
causes Sun Madness.
234
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,771
Francine?
That's right.
235
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,373
And once you go Sun Mad,
236
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:12,244
you'll become so infatuated
by that big ball of gas
237
00:10:12,246 --> 00:10:15,247
that you'll do anything
to burn up inside her.
238
00:10:15,249 --> 00:10:17,549
Including foreplay.
239
00:10:22,523 --> 00:10:24,122
Take us home, Venus!
240
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,324
[ All screaming ]
241
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:28,393
Screwed the pooch
on that one.
242
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:30,595
But if at first
you don't succeed!
243
00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:32,531
Come onnnnn, Mercury!
244
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:35,634
[ All screaming ]
245
00:10:36,270 --> 00:10:37,870
Welp, third time's
the charm.
246
00:10:37,872 --> 00:10:41,005
But there's only two planets
between Earth and the sun!
247
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:42,340
Nuh-uh!
What about that one?
248
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:44,743
Stan:
That's no planet.
249
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:47,279
It's a pepperoni!
250
00:10:47,281 --> 00:10:50,148
Bad.
So bad.
251
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:53,552
No big deal. I can turn around
and fly home without a problem.
252
00:10:53,554 --> 00:10:55,420
[ Chiming ]
With one problem.
253
00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:56,955
We're running low
on fuel.
254
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:58,557
But we can still get back,
right?
255
00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:00,492
Oh, please let me
do the math.
256
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:03,027
It's like I'm living
in my own word problem.
257
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:05,898
Let's see...
ship of this size...
258
00:11:05,900 --> 00:11:07,900
account for
the distance...
259
00:11:07,902 --> 00:11:09,301
Good news, family!
260
00:11:09,303 --> 00:11:10,703
If we continue
at this speed,
261
00:11:10,705 --> 00:11:13,972
we should have enough fuel
to get home in...
262
00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:15,908
seven years?!
263
00:11:15,910 --> 00:11:16,909
What the hell, Roger?
264
00:11:16,911 --> 00:11:18,510
Your driving
has ruined our lives!
265
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:20,445
All you've proven
is that we were right
266
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:21,780
not to trust you
behind the wheel.
267
00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:24,316
Maybe we shouldn't
trust you at all.
268
00:11:24,318 --> 00:11:27,119
Fine! I'm gonna go journal,
and you better believe
269
00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:29,254
this next entry
will be scathing!
270
00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,990
[ Sobbing ]
271
00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:33,525
Jeff: Oh, God.
272
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:36,661
I would do anything
to not feel this sad.
273
00:11:36,663 --> 00:11:41,066
Well, research shows,
and I don't want to do this,
274
00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:42,935
but when two
grief-stricken adults
275
00:11:42,937 --> 00:11:45,403
lose everything
but each other,
276
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:48,340
they heal their pain
through boinking.
277
00:11:48,342 --> 00:11:53,011
That's just science, ergo
my scientific term "boinking"
278
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:57,349
instead of,
you know, sex.
279
00:11:57,351 --> 00:12:00,619
Uh...No offense,
Mr. Klaus,
280
00:12:00,621 --> 00:12:03,555
but I really don't wanna
get on the train
281
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,223
to Boinksville
with you.
282
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,425
Me neither.
283
00:12:06,427 --> 00:12:09,428
Let's hold out
as long as we can.
284
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:16,234
I spy with my little eye
something that is --
285
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,970
I know!
Is it a star?!
286
00:12:17,972 --> 00:12:19,904
This is gonna be
a long seven years.
287
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:23,842
It's like a star,
but it's more like a pizzeria
288
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:25,778
and it's headed
straight toward us.
289
00:12:25,780 --> 00:12:34,319
♪♪
290
00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:35,720
Roger: It's docking.
291
00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:40,159
Someone, or some thing,
is trying to come aboard.
292
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:43,395
[ Hissing ]
293
00:12:43,397 --> 00:12:46,031
[ Beeping, buzzer ]
294
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:51,736
Hey, gang!
It's me, Roger!
295
00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:53,405
No, I'm Roger.
296
00:12:53,407 --> 00:12:54,673
We're both Roger!
297
00:12:54,675 --> 00:12:57,209
Only difference is...
I'm from the future.
298
00:12:57,211 --> 00:12:58,610
[ All gasp ]
299
00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:01,946
And my space tan makes me
a teensy bit sexier.
300
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,115
[ Gasps ]
301
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:09,721
So you're me,
but from the future?
302
00:13:09,723 --> 00:13:12,458
Aww. Hard to believe
I was ever that naive.
303
00:13:12,460 --> 00:13:14,660
But yes, you little cherub,
I am.
304
00:13:14,662 --> 00:13:16,128
How far
into the future?
305
00:13:16,130 --> 00:13:19,264
Three. Whole. Days.
306
00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:22,534
That's not far,
but still unusual.
307
00:13:22,536 --> 00:13:23,802
How did you travel
back to us?
308
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,871
I popped through
a little wormhole.
309
00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:26,804
That's impossible.
310
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,406
If you suck at driving
it is.
311
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:30,075
Ha!
He got you, Roger!
312
00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:32,678
Hey, um...
Where's the future us?
313
00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:35,481
They died
a couple days ago.
314
00:13:35,483 --> 00:13:37,015
I'm still a little sad
about it.
315
00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:39,151
Aw, that's terrible.
Please let us know --
316
00:13:39,153 --> 00:13:40,686
Wait a minute!
Do you mean us?
317
00:13:40,688 --> 00:13:43,088
That's what I came back
to warn you about.
318
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,622
If you stick
with your plan
319
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:47,225
to get back to Earth
the slow way, you die.
320
00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:48,426
[ Both gasp ]
Both: Eep!
321
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:50,562
Your only chance
of getting home
322
00:13:50,564 --> 00:13:52,630
is to slingshot the sun.
323
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,900
Slingshotting?
Sounds promising.
324
00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:56,702
You're just gonna
trust this guy?
325
00:13:56,704 --> 00:13:59,371
Look, young blood, you're
the one who got us in this mess.
326
00:13:59,373 --> 00:14:01,106
I'm trying
to get us out of it.
327
00:14:01,108 --> 00:14:02,374
That settles it.
328
00:14:02,376 --> 00:14:04,710
Future Roger's gonna
slingshot us around the sun.
329
00:14:04,712 --> 00:14:07,713
Great!
I like Future Roger.
330
00:14:07,715 --> 00:14:09,381
He's got
a weathered look
331
00:14:09,383 --> 00:14:12,650
that gives me
"wise cowboy" vibes.
332
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:14,720
Mighty kind of you,
little lady.
333
00:14:14,722 --> 00:14:16,855
It feels great
to have everyone's trust.
334
00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:18,724
You'll just have to
trust me on that.
335
00:14:18,726 --> 00:14:20,392
Want your diary,
buddy?
336
00:14:20,394 --> 00:14:22,594
It's not a diary,
it's a journal!
337
00:14:22,596 --> 00:14:24,262
Like an explorer has!
338
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,331
I'm exploring
my inner thoughts!
339
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,467
[ Sobbing ] Ah!
340
00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:36,408
Wait a second, this entry
is dated three days from now.
341
00:14:36,410 --> 00:14:38,410
This is Future Me's journal!
342
00:14:38,412 --> 00:14:41,413
Future Roger: Dear Journal,
some good news for a change.
343
00:14:41,415 --> 00:14:44,416
I've fallen in love, and you'll
never guess who with!
344
00:14:44,418 --> 00:14:49,020
Her name is The Sun,
and I long to die inside her.
345
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:52,891
Alas, my family
doesn't understand my love.
346
00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:54,826
By the time we settled
our differences,
347
00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:56,362
we'd been flying in circles
so long
348
00:14:56,364 --> 00:14:59,898
that the ship was
almost completely out of fuel.
349
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,833
But if my calculations
are correct,
350
00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:05,237
I should have just enough fuel
to get to a nearby wormhole
351
00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:06,838
and travel back in time.
352
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,307
Then, I'll be able to take
the Past Smiths' ship
353
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:11,377
and fly us all
right into the sun!
354
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:14,580
Holy crap!
355
00:15:14,582 --> 00:15:16,982
Future Me's gone
totally Sun Mad!
356
00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:20,419
And now the only one
who can stop me is Now Me!
357
00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:24,522
Soon, my sweet.
358
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:26,658
Soon.
359
00:15:26,660 --> 00:15:29,061
Hey, there, whippersnapper.
Whatcha been up to?
360
00:15:29,063 --> 00:15:30,262
Oh, nothing.
361
00:15:30,264 --> 00:15:33,065
Just catching up
on some light reading.
362
00:15:33,067 --> 00:15:34,399
My journal!
363
00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:37,202
I suppose that means you know
the sun and I are lovers.
364
00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:38,470
That ol' flooze?
365
00:15:38,472 --> 00:15:40,738
Buddy of mine raw dogged her
in Cancún.
366
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:42,808
Said he caught a wicked
case of melanoma.
367
00:15:42,810 --> 00:15:44,610
Oh, sure.
Slut shame the sun.
368
00:15:44,612 --> 00:15:46,011
Real mature.
369
00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:48,013
And so what?
We all have a past.
370
00:15:48,015 --> 00:15:49,214
Oh, a past?
371
00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:51,149
Is that why she still
wakes up every morning
372
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:53,285
and gives it
to an entire hemisphere?
373
00:15:53,287 --> 00:15:55,287
[ Gasps ]
Take that back!
374
00:15:55,289 --> 00:15:56,288
[ Both grunting ]
375
00:15:56,290 --> 00:15:57,222
Aah!
376
00:15:57,224 --> 00:15:59,491
[ Beeping, buzzer ]
377
00:16:02,896 --> 00:16:05,464
Oh, shitballs.
378
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:08,366
Rogers!
What's going on here?
379
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:10,768
Oh, Stan,
it was awful!
380
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:12,237
I was preparing
for our slingshot
381
00:16:12,239 --> 00:16:15,707
when he detached my ship
and threw my journal into space!
382
00:16:15,709 --> 00:16:17,242
Roger, how could you?
383
00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:19,645
You know how important
that journal is to yourself.
384
00:16:19,647 --> 00:16:21,913
It was him!
He's trying to kill us!
385
00:16:21,915 --> 00:16:24,516
He has Sun Madness!
You gotta believe me!
386
00:16:24,518 --> 00:16:25,583
No, I don't.
387
00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:27,118
If I couldn't
trust you before,
388
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,787
there's certainly no reason
for me to trust you now.
389
00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:32,390
Come on, Future Roger.
Let's get you out of here.
390
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:33,591
It's all a ruse!
391
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:34,926
He's selfish
and manipulative
392
00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:36,928
and he cares more
about getting what he wants
393
00:16:36,930 --> 00:16:40,866
than he does about this family's
safety and -- ohhhhhh.
394
00:16:40,868 --> 00:16:43,735
This is what it's like
for the family all the time.
395
00:16:43,737 --> 00:16:45,403
I get it now.
396
00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:48,674
Wow, when will I
stop growing?
397
00:16:55,349 --> 00:16:56,348
Roger.
398
00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:58,216
Roger.
399
00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:00,953
I took the liberty
of upgrading your seatbelts.
400
00:17:03,557 --> 00:17:06,291
Good looking out.
We can always count on you.
401
00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:07,826
Now that you're restrained,
402
00:17:07,828 --> 00:17:10,162
I should probably mention
that I have Sun Madness.
403
00:17:10,964 --> 00:17:12,964
Completely addicted
to the sun.
404
00:17:12,966 --> 00:17:15,433
But don't worry, I'm working
through a twelve-step program,
405
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:18,036
and the first step is admitting
I have a problem.
406
00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:18,970
The second step?
407
00:17:18,972 --> 00:17:21,639
Flying directly
into the sun!
408
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:23,042
[ Laughs evilly ]
409
00:17:25,846 --> 00:17:27,112
Why isn't it working?
410
00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:29,181
I knew you'd try
something like this,
411
00:17:29,183 --> 00:17:32,050
which is why I sabotaged
your accelerator.
412
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:35,320
It's also why I rewired
the emergency eject button
413
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:37,255
to be over here.
414
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:39,024
Goodbye, Roger.
415
00:17:39,860 --> 00:17:41,793
I'm three days older
than you.
416
00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:43,595
You think I didn't
see this coming?
417
00:17:43,597 --> 00:17:45,331
I knew you'd try
to sabotage me,
418
00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:48,867
which is why I put
the real eject button over here!
419
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:52,270
You must be getting slow
in your old age,
420
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:55,073
because I knew you'd know
that I'd deceive you,
421
00:17:55,075 --> 00:17:57,876
which is why I put
the real eject button over here!
422
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:02,147
You didn't think I'd know
you knew I knew you'd know?
423
00:18:02,149 --> 00:18:04,583
The real eject button
is over here!
424
00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:08,887
Would you kill
each other already?!
425
00:18:08,889 --> 00:18:10,688
You're a worthy
opponent,
426
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,690
but there's one thing
you didn't count on.
427
00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:13,759
The truth!
428
00:18:13,761 --> 00:18:15,693
That's right,
this whole time
429
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,896
the real emergency
eject button has been...
430
00:18:17,898 --> 00:18:20,265
the emergency
eject button!
431
00:18:21,569 --> 00:18:24,369
Well played,
but it's not over yet.
432
00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:27,840
Good luck trying to push
a button without any hands!
433
00:18:29,443 --> 00:18:30,909
[ Gasps ]
434
00:18:30,911 --> 00:18:34,312
You jagoffs got confused
by the temporal paradox.
435
00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:38,250
You're future him, so when
you cut off your hands --
436
00:18:38,252 --> 00:18:40,652
I'm only cutting off
my own hands!
437
00:18:40,654 --> 00:18:43,989
Which gives me
the upper hand.
438
00:18:45,593 --> 00:18:48,894
Aaaaah!
439
00:18:50,598 --> 00:18:52,064
Joke's on you.
440
00:18:52,066 --> 00:18:56,001
I'm headed right into
the fiery arms of my beloved!
441
00:18:56,003 --> 00:18:58,203
Aah!
442
00:18:58,205 --> 00:18:59,404
Noooooo!
443
00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:01,673
I'm stuck in perfect orbit!
444
00:19:01,675 --> 00:19:03,875
But if I can't be inside you,
445
00:19:03,877 --> 00:19:07,212
at least I can pleasure myself
to your presence.
446
00:19:07,214 --> 00:19:09,681
Oh, God!
No hands!
447
00:19:09,683 --> 00:19:13,752
Roger, you saved us
from yourself.
448
00:19:13,754 --> 00:19:16,622
Maybe, but if I want you
to trust me,
449
00:19:16,624 --> 00:19:18,023
I have to be honest
with you.
450
00:19:18,025 --> 00:19:21,593
And the big truth is,
I can't drive.
451
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:23,996
[ Creaking ]
452
00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:29,968
We've entered the sun's
gravitational field!
453
00:19:29,970 --> 00:19:32,638
Our only way out is to
pull off a slingshot!
454
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:34,106
What do you say,
Roger?
455
00:19:34,108 --> 00:19:36,975
Can we trust you with our lives
twice in one hour?
456
00:19:36,977 --> 00:19:37,843
I don't know...
457
00:19:37,845 --> 00:19:39,577
You can do this,
Roger!
458
00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:41,246
We believe
in you!
459
00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:43,515
Personally I think this family's
a little too quick to forgive.
460
00:19:43,517 --> 00:19:44,916
You're right.
461
00:19:44,918 --> 00:19:48,119
With your trust behind me,
I can do anything.
462
00:19:48,121 --> 00:19:50,922
♪♪
463
00:19:50,924 --> 00:19:53,058
[ Engine whirring ]
464
00:19:53,060 --> 00:19:57,863
♪♪
465
00:19:57,865 --> 00:20:00,866
It's so hot!
We're too close!
466
00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:02,267
Wait for it...
467
00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:04,402
She's falling apart!
468
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:05,971
Almost there...
469
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:11,209
[ All screaming ]
470
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:12,644
Now!
471
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:18,816
Whee!
472
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,418
Francine:
Great job, Roger!
473
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:21,553
Hayley: You did it!
474
00:20:21,555 --> 00:20:22,888
Steve: What a slingshot!
475
00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:25,691
Does this mean I'm driving
to Oktoberfest next year?
476
00:20:25,693 --> 00:20:27,025
Stan:
Only if you don't drink.
477
00:20:27,027 --> 00:20:28,227
Ech.
Never mind.
478
00:20:29,897 --> 00:20:33,765
I'm still sad
my whole family's dead.
479
00:20:33,767 --> 00:20:36,101
I'm still sad
about my truck.
480
00:20:36,103 --> 00:20:37,302
I give in!
481
00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:39,571
Me too!
482
00:20:39,573 --> 00:20:41,106
Let's heal! Let's heal!
483
00:20:41,108 --> 00:20:44,376
♪ Oh, he's grieving ♪
484
00:20:44,378 --> 00:20:46,178
♪ Grieving ♪
485
00:20:46,180 --> 00:20:48,580
♪ On that right now
train to Boinksville ♪
486
00:20:48,582 --> 00:20:52,518
♪ Grieving on that right now
train to Boinksville ♪
487
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:54,186
♪ Splooge splooge! ♪
488
00:20:54,188 --> 00:20:56,088
Get back
in the basement!
489
00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:00,359
Bye!
Have a beautiful time!