1 00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:04,820 That's when it hit me 2 00:00:04,850 --> 00:00:06,850 like a ton of bricks... 3 00:00:06,890 --> 00:00:08,720 bricks might be hard, 4 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:11,070 but growin' up is harder. 5 00:00:11,110 --> 00:00:13,730 Like a super-hard brick. 6 00:00:13,770 --> 00:00:15,030 Thank you! 7 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:18,160 What's wrong with me? 8 00:00:18,210 --> 00:00:20,600 I should have put bricks in my story. 9 00:00:20,650 --> 00:00:22,130 Klaus, relax. 10 00:00:22,170 --> 00:00:24,260 Your story has nothing to do with bricks. 11 00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:26,090 - It's about a brick layer! - It is? 12 00:00:26,130 --> 00:00:29,870 Next on stage... Klaus Heisler! 13 00:00:37,270 --> 00:00:40,750 When I was 10, all I wanted to be 14 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:44,060 was a wall-building guy like my grandpa. 15 00:00:44,100 --> 00:00:46,760 He would stack these... 16 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:50,760 eh, you know, they... they go on each other, 17 00:00:50,810 --> 00:00:53,370 but never right on top? 18 00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:56,720 They'd be like this and this and then here and here... 19 00:00:56,770 --> 00:01:00,380 Why are you telling stories? 20 00:01:02,170 --> 00:01:04,820 Eh, this is a storytelling event. 21 00:01:04,860 --> 00:01:06,340 Are you Mother Goose? 22 00:01:06,390 --> 00:01:07,740 Okay, I'm going to continue. 23 00:01:07,780 --> 00:01:09,650 Continue boring everyone? 24 00:01:09,690 --> 00:01:11,960 Eh, no one's bored. 25 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,150 I'm actually pretty bored. 26 00:01:13,180 --> 00:01:15,090 Then get the fuck out! 27 00:01:15,130 --> 00:01:17,310 Sir, the bathrooms are located in the back. 28 00:01:17,350 --> 00:01:19,360 Why are you taking a dump on stage? 29 00:01:22,010 --> 00:01:24,060 Not bored anymore! 30 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,180 Nothing but junk mail. 31 00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:02,090 Letter from Francine's mom, biopsy results, 32 00:02:02,140 --> 00:02:03,840 cease and desist... it came! 33 00:02:05,230 --> 00:02:06,930 It came! It came! 34 00:02:06,970 --> 00:02:09,670 Francine, a reply from the Bazooka Sharks! 35 00:02:09,710 --> 00:02:11,710 Don't move! I'm headin' your way! 36 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:13,580 - Eee! - What's this now? 37 00:02:13,630 --> 00:02:17,590 Your father and I wrote a letter to Bazooka Sharks' management 38 00:02:17,630 --> 00:02:20,030 outlining our concerns and suggestions 39 00:02:20,070 --> 00:02:21,590 for the future of the franchise. 40 00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:24,200 Okay. Moment of truth. 41 00:02:24,250 --> 00:02:26,210 I love you, baby. 42 00:02:26,250 --> 00:02:27,950 "Dear Sharks fans, 43 00:02:27,990 --> 00:02:29,950 thank you for your interest in the team." 44 00:02:29,990 --> 00:02:32,210 Hell yeah! Great start. 45 00:02:32,260 --> 00:02:35,130 "We appreciate your passion and continued support, 46 00:02:35,170 --> 00:02:37,520 and hope for a better result next season." 47 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:38,700 Go on. 48 00:02:38,740 --> 00:02:42,180 That's... That's it. 49 00:02:57,020 --> 00:02:58,850 Are you guys okay? 50 00:02:58,890 --> 00:03:01,810 I know you can go a little cuckoo over your beloved Sharks. 51 00:03:03,420 --> 00:03:05,770 Okay. Good. 52 00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:08,120 Just... checking. 53 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:09,600 Good morning, everybody. 54 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,900 Well, look who it is... Mother Goose. 55 00:03:11,950 --> 00:03:13,640 Get your cocoa and blankies, everyone. 56 00:03:13,690 --> 00:03:15,300 It's story time. 57 00:03:15,340 --> 00:03:18,080 My blankie's in the dryer! 58 00:03:18,130 --> 00:03:20,260 Oh, you want a story? Here's one. 59 00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,480 It's about an insignificant grey douchebag 60 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:24,830 who ruins his friend's storytelling event. 61 00:03:24,870 --> 00:03:27,050 Roommate's storytelling event. 62 00:03:27,090 --> 00:03:29,310 Face it, Roger. You're just a hater. 63 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,620 You have no real talent. 64 00:03:31,660 --> 00:03:33,930 Sure, you know how to tear down, 65 00:03:33,970 --> 00:03:35,750 but you can't create. 66 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,450 I can create. 67 00:03:37,490 --> 00:03:38,710 My personas? 68 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,320 Masks. 69 00:03:40,370 --> 00:03:42,980 Costumes. 70 00:03:43,020 --> 00:03:46,240 You don't have the balls to put yourself out there like me, 71 00:03:46,290 --> 00:03:48,070 to risk ridicule contributing 72 00:03:48,110 --> 00:03:50,380 something meaningful to the world. 73 00:03:50,420 --> 00:03:52,340 This is a brutal takedown. 74 00:03:52,380 --> 00:03:55,030 Deep down, you are a coward. 75 00:03:58,080 --> 00:03:59,910 Wha... 76 00:03:59,950 --> 00:04:01,740 That's not... 77 00:04:01,780 --> 00:04:04,090 Guys? 78 00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:10,090 Room for one more? 79 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,490 This letter sucked. 80 00:04:17,530 --> 00:04:20,010 It didn't address a single one of our points. 81 00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,100 And we had a lot of good ones. 82 00:04:22,150 --> 00:04:24,320 It's like they're obsessed with the forward pass. 83 00:04:24,370 --> 00:04:26,020 Why? It's so risky. 84 00:04:26,060 --> 00:04:28,410 Whatever happened to establishing the run? 85 00:04:28,460 --> 00:04:29,810 To smashmouth football? 86 00:04:29,850 --> 00:04:32,240 To ground and pound, baby! 87 00:04:32,290 --> 00:04:34,330 I'll tell you what happened... analytics. 88 00:04:34,380 --> 00:04:35,420 Moneyball. 89 00:04:35,470 --> 00:04:36,900 Nerds. 90 00:04:36,940 --> 00:04:38,990 We don't need eggheads. 91 00:04:39,030 --> 00:04:40,770 We need leatherheads, Stan. 92 00:04:40,820 --> 00:04:42,430 I know that, my queen, 93 00:04:42,470 --> 00:04:44,340 but the bean counters runnin' the show don't. 94 00:04:44,390 --> 00:04:46,740 Well, maybe we need to make them understand. 95 00:04:46,780 --> 00:04:48,040 Ground and pound them. 96 00:04:48,090 --> 00:04:49,610 Oh, yeah! Let's smash 'em! 97 00:04:49,650 --> 00:04:51,870 Yeah! Kill 'em? 98 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,050 No. Smash their corporate offices. 99 00:04:54,090 --> 00:04:55,310 Okay! 100 00:04:55,350 --> 00:04:57,840 How? 101 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,190 My friend Nerfer's got an armor-plated bulldozer! 102 00:05:00,230 --> 00:05:01,360 - Oh... - Oh, yeah! 103 00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:09,980 It's been a while since we've done this, Klaus... 104 00:05:10,020 --> 00:05:12,330 watched TV together in total silence. 105 00:05:12,370 --> 00:05:13,680 It's nice. 106 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,550 Klaus, about yesterday... 107 00:05:15,590 --> 00:05:17,030 No, let me go first. 108 00:05:17,070 --> 00:05:19,120 You were a huge dick at my reading, 109 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:21,380 but I was very hard on you. 110 00:05:21,420 --> 00:05:23,380 - It's okay. - No, no, please. 111 00:05:23,430 --> 00:05:26,300 I owe you an apology. 112 00:05:26,340 --> 00:05:28,780 But I'm only going to give you the apologetic tone... 113 00:05:28,820 --> 00:05:30,870 because I'm not sorry. 114 00:05:30,910 --> 00:05:34,050 Thank you for the tone. It's more than I deserve. 115 00:05:34,090 --> 00:05:36,050 I thought about it, and you were right. 116 00:05:36,090 --> 00:05:38,400 You have the courage to put yourself out there 117 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,660 in a way I never do. 118 00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:42,840 - Here. - What is it? 119 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,530 It's me putting myself out there. 120 00:05:44,580 --> 00:05:45,750 Just open it. God! 121 00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,800 It's... beautiful. 122 00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:54,280 - Steve, look. - It is good. 123 00:05:54,330 --> 00:05:58,460 But is it better than being quiet and watching TV? 124 00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:00,290 I don't know. 125 00:06:05,420 --> 00:06:07,120 What's good, my man? 126 00:06:07,170 --> 00:06:09,340 Oh, say, where can we find the corporate offices? 127 00:06:09,390 --> 00:06:11,300 Do you want to do something bad to them? 128 00:06:11,340 --> 00:06:13,170 With your Killdozer? 129 00:06:13,210 --> 00:06:14,300 Once sec. 130 00:06:17,570 --> 00:06:18,570 - No? - In that case, 131 00:06:18,610 --> 00:06:20,000 here's the address. 132 00:06:22,220 --> 00:06:24,100 Their offices are in South Dakota. 133 00:06:24,140 --> 00:06:25,790 Oof. That's a schlep. 134 00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:28,270 - Big time. - You wanna call off the rampage? 135 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:31,410 Does this answer your question?! 136 00:06:31,450 --> 00:06:33,760 Killdozer rampage still on! 137 00:06:38,370 --> 00:06:40,850 Yeah! 138 00:06:43,290 --> 00:06:45,380 Roger? 139 00:06:45,420 --> 00:06:47,250 In the back! Through my secret door! 140 00:06:49,990 --> 00:06:52,170 What is this place? 141 00:06:52,210 --> 00:06:54,430 In the '40s, it was a button factory. 142 00:06:54,470 --> 00:06:56,650 Now? My art studio. 143 00:06:56,690 --> 00:06:58,780 You made this? 144 00:06:58,830 --> 00:07:01,480 I had no idea. You're an artist. 145 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,050 Well, I don't know about "artist." 146 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,480 I'm... I'm just dabblin'. 147 00:07:04,530 --> 00:07:06,090 - Goofin', really. - Goofin'? 148 00:07:06,140 --> 00:07:08,440 It's incredible. 149 00:07:08,490 --> 00:07:11,710 The weathered gills, the pain in the eyes. 150 00:07:11,750 --> 00:07:13,670 It's a window to my soul. 151 00:07:13,710 --> 00:07:15,760 That's what I was going for. 152 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:18,630 Is that a painting of me? 153 00:07:18,670 --> 00:07:20,720 They're all you, Klaus. 154 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:23,420 You are my muse. 155 00:07:23,460 --> 00:07:24,900 Oh, shit. 156 00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:29,790 - Family announcement! - Family announcement! 157 00:07:29,810 --> 00:07:31,380 - Where is everyone? - I don't know. 158 00:07:31,420 --> 00:07:33,820 Something about establishing the run. What's up? 159 00:07:33,860 --> 00:07:36,430 Roger's an artist, and I'm his muse! 160 00:07:36,470 --> 00:07:39,650 Oh. Mazel tov. 161 00:07:39,690 --> 00:07:43,610 Well, the important thing is the world needs to see your art. 162 00:07:43,650 --> 00:07:45,440 You're doing a gallery opening. 163 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:47,660 As if. 164 00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:49,790 Who'd be interested in my silly little scribbles? 165 00:07:49,830 --> 00:07:51,530 Prolly no one. 166 00:07:51,570 --> 00:07:53,970 I sold all my art! 167 00:07:54,010 --> 00:07:56,450 A toast to everyone who made 168 00:07:56,490 --> 00:07:59,100 my first gallery opening a success. 169 00:07:59,150 --> 00:08:01,150 Of course, Hovek... beautiful Hovek... 170 00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:03,410 for providing such a dynamic space. 171 00:08:03,460 --> 00:08:05,630 Carl, a man I met just moments ago... 172 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,200 Hello? 173 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:09,330 Aren't you gonna mention your muse? 174 00:08:09,370 --> 00:08:11,550 Klaus, zip it. Go back to the muse table. 175 00:08:11,590 --> 00:08:13,770 There's no muse table. 176 00:08:13,810 --> 00:08:15,900 What? But artists need to quaff wine 177 00:08:15,950 --> 00:08:17,300 and belly laugh together, 178 00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:19,730 far from the din of their simpering muses. 179 00:08:19,780 --> 00:08:21,910 - Have one set up. - Me? 180 00:08:21,950 --> 00:08:22,750 Just get it done! 181 00:08:24,390 --> 00:08:27,170 Look at him, sucking the marrow out of life. 182 00:08:27,220 --> 00:08:28,790 And I'm sitting here like a schmuck. 183 00:08:28,830 --> 00:08:30,310 Why would he treat me like this? 184 00:08:30,350 --> 00:08:33,660 Oh, listen to you. 185 00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:35,880 Isn't it enough to be a part of something artistic, 186 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:37,840 something meaningful? 187 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,620 You're right. 188 00:08:40,670 --> 00:08:42,190 I should be thanking Roger. 189 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,580 Hey! 190 00:08:43,630 --> 00:08:46,150 Why am I hearing the muse table? 191 00:08:46,190 --> 00:08:49,720 I'm trying to tell a ribald anecdote over here! 192 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,420 Sorry. Now, how far did I get? 193 00:08:51,460 --> 00:08:52,980 We got the priest, 194 00:08:53,030 --> 00:08:54,230 we got the urinating up and down the back, 195 00:08:54,250 --> 00:08:55,590 we got my great joke. 196 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:57,290 "Christening? More like pissening." 197 00:08:57,340 --> 00:08:59,120 Maybe that's it. 198 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:00,600 Maybe that's the whole thing. 199 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,690 Another home-run story in the books. 200 00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:08,390 We are rampagin'. 201 00:09:08,430 --> 00:09:12,220 Hayley, toss me another 5-Hour Energy. 202 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,180 My rage is dipping. 203 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,980 Maybe it would help if I read the letter again? 204 00:09:16,010 --> 00:09:18,620 - Yes. - Great idea. 205 00:09:18,660 --> 00:09:19,680 "Dear Sharks fans." 206 00:09:19,710 --> 00:09:21,660 Those motherfu... 207 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,670 We must rise and attack the day, my friend. 208 00:09:27,710 --> 00:09:29,980 The world wants our art. 209 00:09:30,020 --> 00:09:32,200 You're the dumbest person of all time. 210 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,420 What? We sold every painting. 211 00:09:34,460 --> 00:09:36,640 And now I have to come up with new paintings. 212 00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:38,720 Earth to tortured artist. 213 00:09:38,770 --> 00:09:42,420 It's your muse talking, ready to inspire. 214 00:09:42,470 --> 00:09:45,080 But not ready to cook me breakfast, apparently. 215 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,040 I have access to Fig Newtons. 216 00:09:48,730 --> 00:09:50,340 Fig Newtons are good. 217 00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,910 I forget that sometimes. 218 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,480 Well, you have a lot on your mind. 219 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,220 Eh, not really. But let's work. 220 00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,790 Sorry, I just need a sec. 221 00:09:59,830 --> 00:10:01,360 Hold that pose, though. It's perfect. 222 00:10:06,140 --> 00:10:07,730 What the hell? 223 00:10:09,580 --> 00:10:11,280 Had to run out and get some more Newtons. 224 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,370 BRB. Do not move. 225 00:10:13,410 --> 00:10:16,370 The life of a muse. 226 00:10:18,630 --> 00:10:20,290 This is fucking ridiculous. 227 00:10:20,330 --> 00:10:22,290 What do you think of this dance? 228 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,200 Ba-da. 229 00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:24,550 Ba-da-da-da-ba. 230 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,510 - Kick the salad. - Roger! 231 00:10:26,550 --> 00:10:28,120 What the hell are you doing here?! 232 00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,510 What am I doing here? 233 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:32,520 You kept me in that damn chair for six hours! 234 00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:35,220 Paramours, take five while I deal with this guy. 235 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:37,610 "This guy"? 236 00:10:37,650 --> 00:10:40,530 I'm your muse! Your inspiration! 237 00:10:40,570 --> 00:10:41,830 And what do you do? 238 00:10:41,870 --> 00:10:44,140 You abuse me, treat me like a dog. 239 00:10:44,180 --> 00:10:45,750 We were supposed to work, damn it! 240 00:10:45,790 --> 00:10:47,200 Is this what you want, Klaus?! 241 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,450 Is this what you want?! 242 00:10:50,490 --> 00:10:52,150 It is what I want. 243 00:10:52,190 --> 00:10:54,150 That's why I just gave you all the money. 244 00:10:54,190 --> 00:10:55,930 Stop yelling at me. 245 00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:57,930 Sorry! That's my fault. 246 00:10:57,980 --> 00:10:59,720 I made him mad back at the bistro. 247 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,460 Forget about the bistro. 248 00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:04,420 Let's take a beach stroll, maybe have a beefstro. 249 00:11:04,460 --> 00:11:06,200 That's what I call beef stroganoff. 250 00:11:08,770 --> 00:11:11,690 - Seagull. - Majestic birds. 251 00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:13,730 Not the most majestic, though, Klaus. 252 00:11:13,780 --> 00:11:15,340 I wasn't suggesting. 253 00:11:15,390 --> 00:11:17,820 It's fine. It's fine. Just... Just be careful. 254 00:11:17,870 --> 00:11:18,690 Eat your stroge. 255 00:11:20,910 --> 00:11:23,090 You changed my life, Roger. 256 00:11:23,130 --> 00:11:24,960 And you, mine, Klaus. 257 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,350 Your brutal takedown was the nudge I needed 258 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,360 to finally put myself out there. 259 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,230 Your paintings... they move people. 260 00:11:32,270 --> 00:11:33,580 Our paintings. 261 00:11:33,620 --> 00:11:35,190 Thank you. 262 00:11:35,230 --> 00:11:38,670 I'm finally a part of something meaningful. 263 00:11:38,710 --> 00:11:40,800 You saw the real me. 264 00:11:40,850 --> 00:11:42,540 That I did do. 265 00:11:42,590 --> 00:11:44,460 I guess I feel a little less lonely 266 00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:46,460 on this big orb they call Earth. 267 00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:48,330 Who calls it that? 268 00:11:48,380 --> 00:11:49,770 Everyone? 269 00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,860 I call it Gaia. 270 00:11:51,900 --> 00:11:55,560 But I'm a special person. An artist. 271 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:58,390 I was hoping we could also talk process. 272 00:11:58,430 --> 00:12:00,470 I was thinking maybe there's a way 273 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,170 for me to feel less like shit at the end of every day. 274 00:12:03,220 --> 00:12:06,130 There is, and that's actually why I brought you out here... 275 00:12:06,180 --> 00:12:08,220 to tell you you're fired. 276 00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:09,610 - You're fired. - What? 277 00:12:09,660 --> 00:12:11,700 - Why? - Let's go alphabetically. 278 00:12:11,750 --> 00:12:13,530 "A" is for albatross. 279 00:12:13,570 --> 00:12:15,190 You're an albatross around my neck. 280 00:12:15,230 --> 00:12:17,360 "B" is for bore. You bore me. 281 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:18,360 That's an easy one. 282 00:12:18,410 --> 00:12:20,190 "P" for puke-inducing, 283 00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:23,500 "Q" for quick-to-make-me-barf, "R" for rascal. 284 00:12:23,540 --> 00:12:25,650 Well, that's... that's the one thing I do like about you. 285 00:12:25,670 --> 00:12:27,150 You're kind of a rascal. 286 00:12:29,940 --> 00:12:31,590 You fired Klaus?! 287 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:32,810 Yeah, but not for reals. 288 00:12:32,860 --> 00:12:34,250 Just to break his heart. 289 00:12:34,290 --> 00:12:35,310 It's all part of my process. 290 00:12:35,340 --> 00:12:36,820 Your process? 291 00:12:36,860 --> 00:12:38,640 Yeah, I torture Klaus, crush his spirit, 292 00:12:38,690 --> 00:12:40,210 and then paint his sad face. 293 00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:41,600 Rinse, repeat. 294 00:12:41,650 --> 00:12:43,260 How long have you been doing this? 295 00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:45,130 Oh, gosh. Years? 296 00:12:45,170 --> 00:12:46,610 Probably since day one, yeah. 297 00:12:46,650 --> 00:12:49,480 You've been torturing me? 298 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,660 Ruining my life for paintings?! 299 00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:55,490 And sculpture and mixed media. 300 00:12:55,530 --> 00:12:57,230 Stop motion's on the horizon. 301 00:12:57,270 --> 00:12:58,710 Perhaps a line of puppets? 302 00:12:58,750 --> 00:13:00,490 Why would you do this? 303 00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:02,620 For my art, dummy! 304 00:13:02,670 --> 00:13:05,280 It comes only from pain... your pain. 305 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:07,190 I can't take this anymore. 306 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:10,540 I hope I never see you again! 307 00:13:12,110 --> 00:13:13,290 Wait, Klaus! 308 00:13:13,330 --> 00:13:15,110 Yes? 309 00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:18,770 That's gonna make an amazing puppet. 310 00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:26,210 Look, no one's saying me or my work has suffered 311 00:13:26,260 --> 00:13:28,560 from not having a muse, but the times, 312 00:13:28,610 --> 00:13:31,090 they are a-changing... Oswaldo, 313 00:13:31,130 --> 00:13:33,390 and they require an experienced muse. 314 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,050 I have never done this before. 315 00:13:35,090 --> 00:13:36,960 Go ahead and get naked, Oswaldo. 316 00:13:37,010 --> 00:13:39,140 Right here? In Coffee Bean? 317 00:13:39,180 --> 00:13:41,010 It's fine. I'm an artist. 318 00:13:43,450 --> 00:13:45,540 Unfortunately, I won't be able to pay you to start. 319 00:13:45,580 --> 00:13:47,100 Business is slow. 320 00:13:47,150 --> 00:13:49,020 You can thank my old muse for that. 321 00:13:49,060 --> 00:13:51,410 - What did he do? - Ruined my art. 322 00:13:51,460 --> 00:13:52,940 Destroyed my life. 323 00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:56,290 Toxic guy, Oswaldo. 324 00:13:56,330 --> 00:13:58,900 My only solace is knowing wherever he is now, 325 00:13:58,940 --> 00:14:01,250 he's miserable, too. 326 00:14:01,290 --> 00:14:04,640 Let's go, people! Get 'em while they're hot. 327 00:14:04,690 --> 00:14:06,690 Gluten-free for m'lady, 328 00:14:06,730 --> 00:14:10,470 and chocolate-chip for my man Brandon in the house! 329 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,350 Yes! 330 00:14:12,390 --> 00:14:14,910 Where did you even come from, Klaus Heisler? 331 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,000 Mwah! Hey, when I get home, 332 00:14:17,050 --> 00:14:18,610 we're gonna tackle that algebra. 333 00:14:18,660 --> 00:14:20,310 - Deal? - Deal. 334 00:14:23,310 --> 00:14:25,750 How we lookin' on that Tuscan Grilled Chicken, Shaneese? 335 00:14:25,790 --> 00:14:27,750 - It's close, boss. - Love it. 336 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,280 Are we having fun? 337 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:30,450 - Yes! - Yes! 338 00:14:30,490 --> 00:14:31,890 And remember... 339 00:14:31,930 --> 00:14:34,370 It's only paninis! 340 00:14:37,980 --> 00:14:40,370 Mother Goose? 341 00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:43,380 Roger? What are you doing here? 342 00:14:43,420 --> 00:14:45,160 Me? What about you? 343 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,470 Well, I work here, at Panera Bread. 344 00:14:47,510 --> 00:14:49,080 I'm actually the manager. 345 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:50,950 Still pursuing your storytelling? 346 00:14:50,990 --> 00:14:53,950 Nah. Between work and Denise and Brandon, 347 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,390 I don't have time. 348 00:14:55,430 --> 00:14:57,220 "Denise and Brandon"? 349 00:14:57,260 --> 00:14:58,780 Who am I talkin' to, Ward Cleaver? 350 00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:00,480 Right? 351 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:03,220 All I need now is a basset hound to bring me my slippers. 352 00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:07,490 Too funny. 353 00:15:07,530 --> 00:15:10,620 So, what are you up to these days? 354 00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,710 Still doin' my art thang, so that's been good. 355 00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:14,190 Really jammin' on that. 356 00:15:14,230 --> 00:15:15,840 Also doing a lot more heroin 357 00:15:15,890 --> 00:15:16,780 than when we were working together, 358 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,060 which has been nice. 359 00:15:19,110 --> 00:15:20,720 Well, I better get back in there. 360 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:22,680 Yeah, no, I should probably do this heroin. 361 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:25,200 - It was good bumping into you. - For sure, yeah. 362 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,070 Hey, if you ever get that muse itch, 363 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:28,510 swing by the studio. 364 00:15:28,550 --> 00:15:30,250 Yeah, I probably won't be by... 365 00:15:30,290 --> 00:15:31,990 Yeah, probably best. 366 00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:33,620 I don't want the studio to smell like a Panera. 367 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:34,690 Have a good life, Roger. 368 00:15:34,730 --> 00:15:35,990 Havin' one, my dude. 369 00:15:37,740 --> 00:15:39,390 Oh, it's spaghetti night 370 00:15:39,430 --> 00:15:41,480 And the feeling's right 371 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:44,090 Oh, it's spaghetti night, oh, what a night 372 00:15:45,090 --> 00:15:47,050 Klaus, I need you back! 373 00:15:47,090 --> 00:15:48,790 Is this your friend from the Dumpster? 374 00:15:48,830 --> 00:15:51,100 Brava, Denise. 375 00:15:51,140 --> 00:15:53,360 You've got it all figured out, don't ya? 376 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:56,540 Well, did you know I was gonna bring this plastic sword?! 377 00:15:58,970 --> 00:15:59,820 I'm calling the police. 378 00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:01,540 Pastor Mike did say 379 00:16:01,590 --> 00:16:05,020 to look for opportunities to bear witness. 380 00:16:05,070 --> 00:16:07,160 Roger, why don't you join us? 381 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,420 Oh. Oh, I bet you'd like that. 382 00:16:09,460 --> 00:16:11,200 You'd just love to see me choke 383 00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:13,290 on Denise's shitty meatballs. 384 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:14,770 This guy hates me. 385 00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:16,900 Not true. I want to thank you. 386 00:16:16,950 --> 00:16:18,730 You set me free. 387 00:16:18,780 --> 00:16:21,560 Oh, free to get your balls cut off by Denise here? 388 00:16:21,610 --> 00:16:25,520 I'm aware of you, Denise, just as you are of me. 389 00:16:25,570 --> 00:16:28,440 My whole life, I thought I was a miserable guy. 390 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:31,440 Worse, I thought I brought it all on myself. 391 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,970 Turns out, it was you. 392 00:16:34,010 --> 00:16:35,360 What's your point, Aesop? 393 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:37,190 Aesop tells fables, Denise. 394 00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:39,800 I never had a chance to be happy. 395 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:42,370 You were sabotaging me! 396 00:16:42,410 --> 00:16:45,850 Can we just cut the bull and get back to work, Klaus? 397 00:16:45,890 --> 00:16:48,890 Don't you see? I'm finally happy. 398 00:16:48,940 --> 00:16:50,290 What about "meaning"? 399 00:16:50,330 --> 00:16:52,240 This guy is so horny for meaning. 400 00:16:52,290 --> 00:16:56,070 I found meaning, with these two whackadoos, 401 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,820 and all the lives I touch at Panera. 402 00:16:58,860 --> 00:17:02,080 Enough! I can't stand to look at you one second more. 403 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:06,130 So, with my dignity intact, I will now take my leave. 404 00:17:06,170 --> 00:17:07,560 Forever! 405 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,260 Oh, God! Oh, no! 406 00:17:09,310 --> 00:17:12,090 Oh, I'm doing both kinds of bathroom! 407 00:17:12,130 --> 00:17:13,960 Denise, what kind of flooring we dealin' with? 408 00:17:14,010 --> 00:17:15,920 If it's linoleum, bring the hose in here. 409 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:18,100 In the meantime, gather anything absorbent... 410 00:17:18,140 --> 00:17:20,710 beach towels, bath towels, shop rags. 411 00:17:20,750 --> 00:17:23,930 Oh, if you have a shop, sawdust would be a godsend. 412 00:17:23,970 --> 00:17:26,500 That's perfect world. I could make cotton balls work. 413 00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:29,500 Now, we do need someone to take the lead on ventilation... 414 00:17:29,540 --> 00:17:31,720 opening doors, windows, gathering fans. 415 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,680 - I can do that. - Brandon. 416 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,030 Way to step up. 417 00:17:35,070 --> 00:17:36,680 Everybody look at Brandon. 418 00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:41,120 There it is! 419 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,770 Ramming speed! 420 00:17:50,430 --> 00:17:52,780 The Sharks won the Megabowl? 421 00:17:52,830 --> 00:17:55,260 Yeah. Hey, you're Stan Smith. 422 00:17:55,310 --> 00:17:56,870 May... maybe not. 423 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,050 You're famous here! 424 00:17:59,090 --> 00:18:00,450 We took another look at your letter 425 00:18:00,490 --> 00:18:02,450 and realized you were right. 426 00:18:02,490 --> 00:18:05,880 Smashmouth football was the key to our undefeated season. 427 00:18:05,930 --> 00:18:07,670 You listened to us? 428 00:18:07,710 --> 00:18:10,580 So rampage over? 429 00:18:10,630 --> 00:18:13,500 But no rampage. 430 00:18:13,540 --> 00:18:16,290 But Killdozer need to eat. 431 00:18:16,330 --> 00:18:18,030 Welp, I'll leave you to it, then. 432 00:18:18,070 --> 00:18:20,380 Go, Sharks! 433 00:18:20,420 --> 00:18:22,160 Go, Sharks. 434 00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:28,380 Honey. Check out Roger. 435 00:18:28,430 --> 00:18:29,880 You were skeptical when he reached out, 436 00:18:29,910 --> 00:18:31,690 but he looks like a new man. 437 00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:33,560 Thank you all for coming. 438 00:18:33,610 --> 00:18:36,480 First, I'd like to give a shout-out to my sponsor, Mark. 439 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:40,700 30 days sober thanks to that amazing human. 440 00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:43,270 I'd also like to acknowledge Klaus Heisler over there. 441 00:18:43,310 --> 00:18:46,450 Klaus was my muse, but I hurt him. 442 00:18:46,490 --> 00:18:49,540 I thought great art came only from pain, 443 00:18:49,580 --> 00:18:52,280 but beauty isn't born from misery alone. 444 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:55,190 There's also the wellspring of joy. 445 00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:57,020 You taught me that, Klaus. 446 00:18:57,060 --> 00:18:59,850 You continue to inspire me. 447 00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:01,030 Thank you. 448 00:19:04,550 --> 00:19:06,600 And now, art. 449 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,820 Feast your eyes on my greatest masterpiece. 450 00:19:09,860 --> 00:19:12,250 Spaghetti Night! 451 00:19:12,300 --> 00:19:13,560 Woof. 452 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:15,610 This one's a dog. 453 00:19:15,650 --> 00:19:17,910 Oh! Spaghetti Night! 454 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:19,740 Pretty awesome, right? 455 00:19:19,780 --> 00:19:21,570 The eyes. 456 00:19:21,610 --> 00:19:23,920 - They're dead. - They're meatballs! 457 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:27,530 I think it's cool because it's a statue of you... Dad. 458 00:19:27,570 --> 00:19:28,710 You're an imbecile, Brandon. 459 00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:30,580 Klaus! 460 00:19:30,620 --> 00:19:33,060 There's no depth, no pathos. 461 00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:34,970 It sucks! 462 00:19:35,020 --> 00:19:37,410 I'm not this corny-ass Mr. Rogers. 463 00:19:37,450 --> 00:19:40,630 Oh. That's a quarter for the swear jar, Klaus. 464 00:19:40,670 --> 00:19:42,630 Here's 50 cents. Go buy some new tits! 465 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:44,240 Excuse me?! 466 00:19:44,290 --> 00:19:46,590 You did this to me! We're finished! 467 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,420 Brandon, why did you even bring a football?! 468 00:19:48,460 --> 00:19:51,420 It's an art gallery! I hate you! 469 00:19:51,470 --> 00:19:55,170 I hate you! 470 00:19:55,210 --> 00:19:57,430 I hate myself! 471 00:19:59,870 --> 00:20:01,260 There he is! 472 00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:03,040 There's the Klaus I know and love! 473 00:20:03,090 --> 00:20:04,220 I knew the misery 474 00:20:04,260 --> 00:20:05,610 was still inside you! 475 00:20:05,660 --> 00:20:07,400 You obviously didn't know when 476 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,010 you squeezed out this turd. 477 00:20:09,050 --> 00:20:10,620 Oh, didn't I? 478 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:16,450 It's me. 479 00:20:16,490 --> 00:20:18,360 The real me. 480 00:20:18,410 --> 00:20:19,800 Thank you, Roger. 481 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:24,110 I am your muse, now and forever. 482 00:20:24,150 --> 00:20:26,500 Yes! We're back, old friend! 483 00:20:26,550 --> 00:20:28,240 But about that... we're not back. 484 00:20:28,290 --> 00:20:30,810 I've given up art to follow my true passion... 485 00:20:30,850 --> 00:20:31,860 doing heroin. 486 00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:34,250 We're back, old friend! 487 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:37,470 Denise? 488 00:20:37,510 --> 00:20:39,080 She headed out. 489 00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:41,910 Dad, this was a great idea. 490 00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:43,260 Well, it would have been a shame 491 00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:45,130 making the thousand-mile journey home 492 00:20:45,170 --> 00:20:46,650 without rampaging something. 493 00:20:46,700 --> 00:20:49,960 Feast, Killdozer! Feast! 494 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,140 Why? 495 00:20:54,180 --> 00:20:55,750 Then again, why not? 496 00:20:57,100 --> 00:20:58,400 Have a great night!