1
00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:05,672
How about this Jamaican resort?
2
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:10,343
We can escape the chilly Langley winter
at a heavily guarded man-made beach.
3
00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:13,054
Or we could check out Willie Nelson's
museum in Nashville.
4
00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:15,348
Dude loves weed and headbands.
5
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:19,436
I've heard your input,
and I propose we do none of those things.
6
00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:22,397
You could have just had me move that.
7
00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:25,900
The Smith clan
shall vacation in Rustic Pines.
8
00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:30,488
The quaint ski town?
9
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:32,991
Where I used to go as a kid?
10
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:36,077
I know that look
on everyone's face, Mr. S.
11
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:37,162
They're about to yell,
12
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:40,498
"Jeff, nobody has any freaking idea
what you're talking about!"
13
00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:41,583
Picture it.
14
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:44,502
We'll wake up with the sun,
ski through peaceful woods.
15
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,254
A mountain breeze in our hair.
16
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:52,010
Then we'll retire to a tiny log cabin
with no water or electricity
17
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,888
and poop in an outhouse like God intended.
18
00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:58,850
Honey, thumbs up on the fun ski stuff,
19
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:01,936
but thumbs down
on the pooping like an animal.
20
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:03,188
How about a nice hotel?
21
00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:07,025
Vacations aren't about fancy-pants hotels
with robot toilets.
22
00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:08,902
They're about getting away from it all.
23
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,487
I'll give it a try, Stan.
24
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,655
Go with the flow,
that's what I always say.
25
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:15,950
I guess, but this "go"
seems like it flows somewhere shitty.
26
00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:19,370
Your father has a different idea of fun
27
00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:21,206
because his family grew up...
28
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,875
I don't want to say poor,
29
00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:26,836
but with less money
than a family needs to not be poor.
30
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,047
Poor? I don't think so.
31
00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:32,258
In fact, my Pops even bought me
a fake ID at age six,
32
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:33,760
so I could sell my blood.
33
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,637
In conclusion, not poor.
34
00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,931
What are you guys up to?
Never mind. Don't care.
35
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:42,685
I'm turning my alcove into a home office
and it's gonna be sick!
36
00:01:43,561 --> 00:01:47,065
But seriously, what are you guys up to?
Can I do it, too? Please!
37
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,194
So, maybe then?
38
00:01:55,031 --> 00:01:57,200
Good morning, USA
39
00:01:57,909 --> 00:02:00,954
I got a feeling
That it's gonna be a wonderful day
40
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:04,165
The sun in the sky
Has a smile on his face
41
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:08,002
And he's shining a salute
To the American race
42
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:13,883
Oh, boy, it's swell to say
43
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,261
Good morning, USA
44
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:17,387
Ah!
45
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:22,058
{\an8}Good morning, USA
46
00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:31,151
{\an8}Anyone see it all around here?
47
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:34,487
{\an8}The answer is no
because we officially got away from that.
48
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:38,283
{\an8}Get a lung full
of this fresh mountain air.
49
00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:40,952
{\an8}Huh, that actually is kind of nice.
50
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:42,036
{\an8}I don't know.
51
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,581
{\an8}It all just smells like
squirrel farts to me.
52
00:02:47,041 --> 00:02:49,127
{\an8}And if that's not enough nature for you,
53
00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:51,671
{\an8}the forecast
calls for an epic powder dump.
54
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:53,339
{\an8}A skier's paradise.
55
00:02:56,342 --> 00:03:00,555
{\an8}Prepare for total relaxation
in three, two...
56
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:04,767
{\an8}That was relaxing.
57
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:05,894
{\an8}I don't get it.
58
00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:08,938
{\an8}There's never traffic heading into
this little nothing of a town.
59
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,858
{\an8}Someone must have hit a moose
or froze to death in their car,
60
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,484
{\an8}or something else picturesque.
61
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:17,822
{\an8}Welcome to heaven.
62
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:21,409
{\an8}When I was a kid, we had a game
to see who could touch that sign first.
63
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:23,036
{\an8}And we're all playing it right now!
64
00:03:24,078 --> 00:03:25,371
{\an8}I win.
65
00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:29,500
{\an8}"Log cabin sign condos"?
66
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,086
{\an8}Awesome! Bet it has a pool.
67
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:35,340
{\an8}Bet it has one of those little pools
with super-hot water.
68
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:36,591
{\an8}You mean a hot tub?
69
00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:39,510
{\an8}Maybe. But, you know,
where you go like this...
70
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:42,639
{\an8}A soup bowl?
71
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:44,182
{\an8}No, that's hot tub, Mom.
72
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:46,351
{\an8}He always ends up with
some kind of GI issue.
73
00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:48,478
{\an8}This place is terrible now.
74
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,563
{\an8}Stan, my dude, relax.
75
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:53,399
{\an8}You're not poor anymore.
You've earned a trip like this.
76
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:54,984
{\an8}We were never poor, you idiot!
77
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,653
{\an8}Ow, idiot, huh?
78
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:58,571
{\an8}Would an idiot... Aah!
79
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:00,573
I said, would an idiot... Aah!
80
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,534
Never mind. I've ruined my quick comeback.
81
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:12,418
We've been in this line so long,
I've named all the butts in front of us.
82
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:15,964
Droopy, Lumpy, Kind of Hot, Mean Pumpkin
83
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:18,466
and the loud mouth of the group,
Fart Butt.
84
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:21,386
Please tell me I'm either Kind of Hot
or Mean Pumpkin.
85
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,137
Come on. Be honest with yourself.
86
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,516
That chairlift line is moving just fine.
87
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,393
Oh, hey, guys, I found you.
88
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:31,479
Ew, Stan, what are those
"fashion don'ts" on your feet?
89
00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:33,690
My dad had these custom-made for me
90
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:36,651
from our neighbor's
very expensive fence material.
91
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:39,320
What's going on with your line?
Nobody's even wearing skis.
92
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:42,657
Don't need 'em.
My crew is all about après-ski.
93
00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:44,909
The party scene after skiing.
94
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:48,162
Except we also do it before skiing,
and instead of skiing.
95
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:50,331
We're heading up
to a sick mountaintop club.
96
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:52,000
I got you all express passes.
97
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:56,254
Nobody wants your party passes.
We're here to ski and name butts.
98
00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:58,339
And we're all out of butts.
99
00:04:58,423 --> 00:04:59,424
I'll take a pass.
100
00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:01,759
Oh, great. Fart Butt gets to go up.
101
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:05,221
So, Fart Butt,
is that short for Fartholomew Buttons?
102
00:05:07,765 --> 00:05:09,851
The ultimate home office.
103
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,270
{\an8}Pens to sign important documents.
104
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:14,480
{\an8}Paper clips
to clip those documents together.
105
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:18,318
{\an8}And, of course, a big-ass landline phone.
106
00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:21,779
{\an8}No dial tone?
107
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:25,325
{\an8}Time to call tech support
and unleash hell!
108
00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:30,955
Telestar support. Sarah speaking.
109
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,332
Hey, Sarah.
110
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:35,043
Your shitty company
sold me a defective phone.
111
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,587
I am so sorry about that, sugar.
112
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:40,131
And here I was upset about the rain.
113
00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:43,259
Well, it's not your fault, Sarah.
114
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,595
And rain does kind of suck.
115
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,805
Sorry I got so mad.
116
00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:50,016
It's okay. I understand.
117
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:53,644
You understand me?
118
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:54,854
Sure.
119
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,773
This must be frustrating.
120
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:57,857
It is.
121
00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,276
Wow, you really get me.
122
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:04,697
So, what are you up to tonight, Sarah?
123
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:06,908
I'm sorry, I didn't catch that.
124
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:09,702
Oh, let me take you off speaker.
125
00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:13,581
Sarah! Come back to me!
126
00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:15,541
Telestar support. Mindy speaking.
127
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,043
Put Sarah back on!
128
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:19,170
I'm sorry, sir. There's no Sarah here.
129
00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:22,882
You see, Telestar has agents
located all over the country.
130
00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:26,594
Sarah!
131
00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:33,476
I like to après-après
132
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,979
Don't drink it. Spray it.
133
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,940
That's how you après-ski.
134
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:41,609
I'm such a good skier!
135
00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:44,570
MC Avalanche in the house!
136
00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:57,875
Okay, gang. Time for our first
and last run of the day.
137
00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:59,210
So, let's make the best of...
138
00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:02,672
Woo-hoo! Hey!
139
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:04,424
Damn it! These morons are everywhere.
140
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,508
Here, Stan.
141
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:08,761
The traditional peace offering
of my people. Join us.
142
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,515
I pity you, Roger.
143
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:16,394
Everyone in this family, but you,
is content to enjoy the wonders of nature.
144
00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:17,854
Stan, get over here!
145
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:21,524
The bartender lady will spray beer
right in your face!
146
00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:24,235
I'm invoking vacation veto power.
147
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,320
Everyone get down here
and back in your skis.
148
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,165
Sorry, y'all.
149
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:41,878
Scratchin' ain't so easy
with m-m-m-mittens!
150
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:48,009
Dad, this trip sucks a fat hog.
151
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,803
Climbing garbage to get our skis?
152
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,472
Can we just go home?
153
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,390
Hey, I'm doing this for you guys.
154
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:57,685
I thought we could get away
and find a little quiet solitude.
155
00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:02,648
And beautiful views.
156
00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:07,403
And a mountain breeze.
157
00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:13,409
You read my mind, Steve.
158
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,161
The rustic family ski trip
159
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:18,206
we've all been craving is right here
at the dump!
160
00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:33,804
Cold penis!
161
00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:37,266
Steve, the dump
won't be a safe place to ski
162
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,352
until you clear the household appliances.
163
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:42,563
Sorry, I was busy getting
this used condom out of my hair.
164
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:43,940
A valid excuse.
165
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,650
Honey, how's the bunny slope coming?
166
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:47,902
I think I've found some medical waste.
167
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:49,362
That's the spirit.
168
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,656
My turn. Wee!
169
00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:58,329
Whoa, cabin three.
170
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:02,250
These must be the logs from
the torn-down cabins I used to stay in.
171
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,417
That's nice, Stan.
172
00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:08,297
So, the kids and I have been talking,
and maybe it's time we...
173
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,049
Are you crying?
174
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:12,802
It's just...
175
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,762
I want to thank you
for letting me give you
176
00:09:14,762 --> 00:09:16,722
the vacation I've always wanted to.
177
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,057
I love you guys.
178
00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:20,434
- Sorry. You were saying?
- Um...
179
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:25,690
I was saying we should stay here
and keep trashing it up.
180
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:26,816
Great idea!
181
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:29,026
Let's all reconstruct cabin three.
182
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,903
You know who else built a cabin?
183
00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,530
Abraham Lincoln.
184
00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:35,199
He also got shot in the head,
but not everyone gets that lucky.
185
00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:36,742
{\an8}(OVER PHONE) Mr. Heissler,
186
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:39,161
{\an8}I'm the highest-ranking
support manager at Telestar,
187
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:44,292
{\an8}and I'm not able to bring you Sarah
even if you do tweet my personal info
188
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:47,086
{\an8}to your millions of rabid followers.
189
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,505
{\an8}Send a company-wide email to every Sarah
190
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:52,717
{\an8}and tell them the man of their dreams
is searching for them!
191
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:56,220
{\an8}Sir, I'm sorry you can't figure out
how to use your telephone
192
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:58,723
{\an8}and fell in love with a woman
who tried to help you,
193
00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:00,516
{\an8}but I'm hanging up now.
194
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:05,896
What are you doing here?
195
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:08,733
Sometimes I miss Steve
when he's on vacation,
196
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,319
so, I just come over and live here.
197
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,030
I'm going a little crazy myself.
198
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:17,158
Yesterday, I made a love connection
with a tech support babe,
199
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:20,077
but we got disconnected
and I can't find her.
200
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:23,039
Klaus, this is your lucky day.
201
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:27,501
Years of looking for my deadbeat dad
made me an expert tracker.
202
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:29,378
Tell me about your call.
203
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:32,423
Well, I was mad about my phone
204
00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:35,009
- and she was upset it was raining...
- Stop.
205
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:38,054
It only rained in
nine American cities yesterday.
206
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,513
You put on a pot of coffee,
207
00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:42,141
I'll scrub my search history
from Steve's computer.
208
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:43,601
We've got a girl to find.
209
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:47,980
Guys, I've been thinking.
Spraying champagne is played out.
210
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,440
It's time to innovate.
211
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:57,448
Hah! Look at those losers
skiing on trash at the dump.
212
00:11:04,288 --> 00:11:07,667
Oh, no. Stan is ruining their vacation.
I have to save them.
213
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:11,003
I'm innovating, too!
Who wants a champagne enema?
214
00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:14,173
A little later.
I have to save them a little later.
215
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,640
Guess who christened the outhouse?
216
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,767
It was me. I destroyed it.
217
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:27,436
Everything's destroyed here, Dad.
It's a dump.
218
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,482
The powder dump begins.
219
00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:35,194
Tomorrow, we shall ski upon
pillows of fairy dust.
220
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:39,031
We'll need plenty of rest.
So, it's time for everyone to go to sleep.
221
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:41,992
But it's so early. Nobody's tired.
222
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:45,663
Don't worry. I found a gasoline-soaked rag
we can all share.
223
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,540
I'll use it first, and when I pass out,
224
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,875
you can remove it from my face,
so I don't die.
225
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:52,878
Then the next person will take it,
pass out and so forth
226
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,338
in a round-robin system.
227
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:56,799
But what about the last person?
228
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:04,432
A big snowball?
229
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,434
Wait. There's something in here.
230
00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:11,021
"Dearest Smiths,
231
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:14,734
"I bring news of a better life
just a few hundred feet above you,
232
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,069
"where the champagne flows like wine
233
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,822
"and the wine also flows like wine.
234
00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:23,993
"There's a lot of booze up here
is what I'm saying, and I have a plan."
235
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,666
Did you get
my big snowball note about the plan?
236
00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:35,921
The rain rules out
everything west of the Mississippi
237
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:39,300
and Telestar has no offices
north of Philadelphia.
238
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,385
You said Sarah called you "sugar"?
239
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:42,803
In a Southern accent.
240
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:45,431
The sweet kind, not the swamp person kind.
241
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:48,184
What else? I need details, damn it!
242
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:50,102
{\an8}She was super into me,
243
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,855
{\an8}practically trying to bang me
over the phone.
244
00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:54,774
{\an8}No made-up details.
245
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,192
{\an8}Sorry. You didn't specify.
246
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,278
I heard a train whistle.
247
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:03,949
That's an Amtrak Viewliner 3850.
248
00:13:04,658 --> 00:13:09,747
Says here only one left in circulation,
runs daily from D.C. to Blacksburg.
249
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:14,668
And at the time you called Sarah,
it was cruisin' right through Roanoke.
250
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,798
{\an8}My true love works in Roanoke.
251
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,259
{\an8}They've got the best Jersey Mike's.
It's a match made in heaven.
252
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,229
Whoa, we're getting dusted pretty good.
253
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:34,855
I should make sure they can breathe.
254
00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:39,235
This isn't Steve at all.
255
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,402
It's a snow Steve.
256
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,071
A Steve-man?
257
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,155
A Steve-snow?
258
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:45,908
Hayley? Jeff?
259
00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:51,080
Francine, the kids snuck out
and replaced themselves with snow kids.
260
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:53,624
Kid-men? Snow-Snows?
261
00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:55,125
We've gotta find them.
262
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:13,519
One, two, three, Shot Ski!
263
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:18,023
You've all betrayed me.
264
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:21,360
{\an8}My plan worked!
Stan's ready to join the fun!
265
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,779
{\an8}I don't know. He's kinda got murder-face.
266
00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:28,033
Roger I get,
but the rest of you are blood relatives.
267
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,119
Well, technically,
only Steve and Hayley are,
268
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,037
but Francine and me do it all the time
269
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:33,956
and Jeff and I became blood brothers
270
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:36,292
after we found that dead body
by the train tracks.
271
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,631
Sorry we left you, Dad. It's just...
272
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,133
How do I say this?
273
00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:47,052
Your trip sucks
and après-ski is way more fun.
274
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:48,387
That's exactly how you say it.
275
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:52,433
We tried to be nice, honey,
but just because you grew up poor
276
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:54,977
and had to pretend
to like terrible vacations
277
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,604
doesn't mean we have to.
278
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,939
For the last time, we weren't poor!
279
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:01,984
We all shared one fork
to save time doing dishes!
280
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:05,654
And I don't need any of you!
I can do a family trip all by myself!
281
00:15:07,656 --> 00:15:08,991
Whoa, it's coming down heavy.
282
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:11,827
I can't see the trail.
283
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:15,164
Oh, God, I've lost my way.
I'm going to die out here!
284
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:19,460
Wait. There's a light.
I am saved. Lord, you saved me!
285
00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:23,213
What?
286
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:33,557
Who needs a loving family
to enjoy things with?
287
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:39,897
Those fools have no idea
what they're missing.
288
00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:41,649
Wee!
289
00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:43,400
Yeah!
290
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:45,945
Yes! Me!
291
00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:47,655
Whoa!
292
00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:50,366
Wake up, party people!
293
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:54,995
MC Avalanche is cooking up
fat beats and salty meats
294
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:58,499
for your boozy, brunchy, pleasure!
295
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,336
Mimosa time, bitches!
296
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:04,171
Poor Stan.
297
00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:07,132
Will you ever find
what you've been looking for?
298
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:09,677
This is exactly
what I've been looking for.
299
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,513
Yee-haw!
300
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:18,852
Oh, God! Oh, God!
301
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:23,399
I'm doing it!
I'm outrunning the avalanche!
302
00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:30,030
Stan got buried by an avalanche
at the dump!
303
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:33,200
M-m-m-mittens!
304
00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:36,245
Oh, my God!
305
00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:41,417
Après-ski crew, I call on you
to help us find our missing friend.
306
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:49,800
- Nah.
- Nah?
307
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,802
Yeah. Nah. We want to keep partying.
308
00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:00,519
This is the address.
309
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:01,979
You sure you want to do this?
310
00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:04,064
I'm good at figuring out where people are,
311
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:07,234
but not so good at figuring out
where they are emotionally.
312
00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:10,446
If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
313
00:17:24,793 --> 00:17:28,172
I guess it wasn't meant to be.
314
00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:55,115
I guess it wasn't meant to be.
315
00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:07,461
Not much air left.
316
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:11,173
Must take smallest breaths possible.
317
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,342
Because running out of air,
318
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:17,137
let's just say, isn't the best outcome
319
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:19,223
for old Stan Smith.
320
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:26,563
This ski trip sucks.
Why doesn't our cabin have any heat?
321
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:29,983
Because we're getting away from it all.
That's why!
322
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,278
Can't we go to the regular zoo?
323
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:35,864
This is better than the regular zoo.
324
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,200
The animals are in their natural habitat.
325
00:18:41,411 --> 00:18:43,705
Stan, go check
if there's anything left in that.
326
00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:50,295
This cruise sucks.
Why can't we leave our room?
327
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:53,507
Because it's not a real cruise, Stan!
328
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:55,425
We're very, very poor.
329
00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:58,220
How the hell does this imbecile
not get it by now?
330
00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:04,309
My childhood family trips actually sucked.
331
00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:09,439
And there's a chance we were kind of poor.
332
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:18,323
Stop après-skiing
and help me find my papa!
333
00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:24,079
Hey, gang. You guys love partying.
We want to search.
334
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:27,833
What if we combine the two
and do a search party?
335
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,424
Search party!
336
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:40,053
Yeah! I'm going to be a hero!
337
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:49,021
Après-squad, fan out and find Stan!
338
00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:51,857
Party!
339
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,026
Woo! Yeah!
340
00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:56,069
Let's find Dan!
341
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,200
Oh, Stan.
342
00:20:01,783 --> 00:20:04,328
You only wanted us to have a fun trip.
343
00:20:06,121 --> 00:20:08,790
Look! Dad's crappy old wooden ski!
344
00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:18,342
Breathe, Dad!
Breathe your stupid fresh mountain air!
345
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:22,596
- Yeah!
- Woo!
346
00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:24,431
- Life!
- Thanks, guys.
347
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:27,976
You know, while I was trapped in there,
348
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,895
I had a lot of time to hallucinate.
349
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:32,648
I've been forcing
this crappy trip on all of you.
350
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,399
I'm a failure as a parent.
351
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:35,525
I wouldn't say that.
352
00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:38,528
{\an8}Sure, they only had fun
because you drove them away,
353
00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:42,491
{\an8}but you still gave them a better vacation
than you had growing up.
354
00:20:42,991 --> 00:20:44,368
{\an8}I did, didn't I?
355
00:20:45,118 --> 00:20:48,580
{\an8}I broke the vicious cycle
of having to take crappy vacations.
356
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:52,125
{\an8}Let's après-ski!
357
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:54,044
{\an8}Hit it, MC Avalanche!
358
00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:57,339
{\an8}I don't think he's able to.
359
00:20:57,714 --> 00:21:01,051
{\an8}Oh. Well, then, maybe call an ambulance!