1 00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:08,312 [wind whistling] 2 00:00:16,059 --> 00:00:18,627 As the caretaker of Lanceton Fashion Plaza, 3 00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:20,455 I have loads of important duties. 4 00:00:20,455 --> 00:00:23,284 For example, every morning I flip these switches. 5 00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:24,763 I don't know what they do, but I flip 'em. 6 00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:25,982 [thud] 7 00:00:25,982 --> 00:00:27,853 Yeah, what are these? 8 00:00:27,853 --> 00:00:29,899 A big part of what I do 9 00:00:29,899 --> 00:00:31,640 is unlocking the door in the morning. 10 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:34,251 If I don't do that, I can't lock it at night. 11 00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:36,775 Which is a huge part of what I do. 12 00:00:36,775 --> 00:00:38,777 The mall's best days are behind her, 13 00:00:38,777 --> 00:00:41,563 but you should've seen this place in the heyday. 14 00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:44,261 It was filled with shoppers, horny teens, 15 00:00:44,261 --> 00:00:46,089 and the perverts that come with them. 16 00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:47,656 We still get some people. 17 00:00:47,656 --> 00:00:49,092 Those are my bridge players. 18 00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:50,702 A lively bunch, but I'm pretty sure 19 00:00:50,702 --> 00:00:52,269 the guy in the hat is dead. 20 00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:54,837 - [thud] - Oh! Never mind. He moved. 21 00:00:54,837 --> 00:00:58,362 In the heyday, this fountain was the centerpiece of the LFP. 22 00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:00,190 There was a water show synchronized 23 00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:02,540 to the Young Guns II soundtrack. 24 00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:04,368 People used to come from all over town 25 00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:06,153 to watch her gush and squirt. 26 00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:08,068 And when I say people, I mean perverts. 27 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,286 Lot's of 'em. 28 00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:11,332 This used to be Macy's. 29 00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:13,725 But we don't have an anchor store at the moment. 30 00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:15,423 The owner of the mall, Mr. Javitz, 31 00:01:15,423 --> 00:01:17,686 is away working on finding a new tenant. 32 00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:19,949 And he's got a pretty big fish on the line. 33 00:01:19,949 --> 00:01:21,559 It's a secret. 34 00:01:21,559 --> 00:01:23,953 [whispering] The secret belongs to Victoria. 35 00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:25,302 [normal voice] That's all I know. 36 00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:27,957 I'm hoping for a big ol' Talbot's. 37 00:01:27,957 --> 00:01:31,352 [American Dad! theme playing on speakers] 38 00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:32,831 [signs buzzing] 39 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:38,054 ♪ 40 00:01:38,054 --> 00:01:40,143 A lot of people ask me why I don't just quit. 41 00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:41,971 "Malls are dying," they say. 42 00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:43,581 But if Mr. Javitz hasn't given up, 43 00:01:43,581 --> 00:01:45,061 there's no way I can. 44 00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:47,585 He is the greatest man I've ever known. 45 00:01:47,585 --> 00:01:49,239 Kind, generous, 46 00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:50,980 and he knows basically everything about rugby. 47 00:01:50,980 --> 00:01:52,721 - [microphone thumps] - [muffled] What are you doing?! 48 00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:55,158 Yeah, this doesn't seem like it's gonna be a good movie. 49 00:01:55,158 --> 00:01:56,942 What's wrong? Am I not talking enough? 50 00:01:56,942 --> 00:01:59,031 We wanna make a documentary about something fun! 51 00:01:59,031 --> 00:02:00,424 [gasps] Like monster trucks! 52 00:02:00,424 --> 00:02:02,209 Vroom! Vroom! 53 00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:05,081 Yeah! Monster trucks! They're so loud and so big! 54 00:02:05,081 --> 00:02:07,475 - Vroom! Vroom! - Vroom-vroom! 55 00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:13,133 Why can't I go to the good mall and get a summer job there? 56 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,091 Because that's our mall, 57 00:02:15,091 --> 00:02:17,702 and we don't want to risk running into you. 58 00:02:17,702 --> 00:02:21,228 Don't take this the wrong way, but... you're kind of a nerd. 59 00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:23,273 What is the right way to take that? 60 00:02:23,273 --> 00:02:24,883 Not like that. 61 00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:27,147 Now if you'll excuse us, we have a very important 62 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,887 family meeting at Buca di Beppo 63 00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:31,716 to discuss the plan for our new food truck. 64 00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:33,240 Why can't I work on that? 65 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:34,632 Because it's our idea. 66 00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:35,851 You weren't there when we thought of it. 67 00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:37,548 I'll always remember it. 68 00:02:37,548 --> 00:02:40,769 You weren't there, and then, bam, it came to us-- 69 00:02:40,769 --> 00:02:42,901 fish sticks, but on a truck! 70 00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:45,339 Now all we need is the perfect food-truck name. 71 00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:46,731 I've got some ideas! 72 00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:48,255 No, you're not allowed to name it. 73 00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:50,170 It's gonna be some gross sex pun. 74 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,563 You gotta have a gross sex pun 75 00:02:52,563 --> 00:02:55,262 to rise to the top of the food-truck game! 76 00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:57,916 It gets attention and it makes the food taste better. 77 00:02:57,916 --> 00:02:59,788 There's no way it makes the food taste better. 78 00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:01,181 Uhp! Save it for the Beps! 79 00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:03,618 [tires screech] 80 00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:05,489 [sighs] 81 00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:07,361 - [silly horn honks] - STAN: The Beps is this way! 82 00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:12,279 Oh, Mr. Javitz, I'm starting to think 83 00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:14,455 we'll never get back to the heyday. 84 00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:17,762 I can't remember the last time we had any youth in here. 85 00:03:17,762 --> 00:03:20,722 And where there's no youth, there's no perverts, obviously. 86 00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,419 Holy youth-a-mole! 87 00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,465 A youth! 88 00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:27,294 The heyday is back, Mr. Javitz! 89 00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:30,166 Smells like an old fish tank in here. 90 00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:31,907 Young boy! Stop! 91 00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:33,256 Where you goin' with that smooth skin? 92 00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:34,779 I'm looking for a job, 93 00:03:34,779 --> 00:03:37,086 but it seems like there aren't any stores here? 94 00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:38,479 Well, why work for a store 95 00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:40,132 when you can work for the whole mall? 96 00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:44,224 Erastus Junipero Horton, mall caretaker. 97 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:47,662 I don't know if I want to work for you, Erastus. 98 00:03:47,662 --> 00:03:49,533 Hey! I don't know if I want to hire you! 99 00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:53,276 That's why we do the interview, you cocky S-O-B! 100 00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:56,279 No college degree, no high-school degree. 101 00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:58,020 And you don't have a résumé. 102 00:03:58,020 --> 00:04:00,022 I had to grab this paper from the printer 103 00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:01,328 just to give you a chance. 104 00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:03,068 And look at it. It's blank! 105 00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:04,809 Steve, do you even want to work here? 106 00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:06,202 - No! - Hmm. 107 00:04:06,202 --> 00:04:07,551 Interesting. And why is that? 108 00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:09,205 This place is awful! 109 00:04:09,205 --> 00:04:12,077 - I gotta have you! You're hired! - What? Why? 110 00:04:12,077 --> 00:04:14,471 I like that you weren't afraid to give me bad answers. 111 00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:15,951 Come on. I'll show you around. 112 00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:17,779 This is the food court. 113 00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:19,650 There's only one restaurant right now, 114 00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:21,826 but that should change when Mr. Javitz comes back. 115 00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:23,045 "Sloatmeal"? 116 00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:25,134 Yep. Slow oatmeal. 117 00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:27,310 If you're hungry, I hope you brought something from home 118 00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:28,746 because at Sloatmeal you have to order 119 00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:30,574 24 hours in advance. 120 00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:32,054 So it's not just a clever name. 121 00:04:32,054 --> 00:04:34,056 I'm not even sure it's that. 122 00:04:34,056 --> 00:04:36,058 With so many stores closing, 123 00:04:36,058 --> 00:04:38,321 we've got a lot of mannequins lying around. 124 00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:40,149 You find any loosies, you throw 'em in here. 125 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:46,242 Uh, Steve? Her dead, flesh-colored eyes are up here. 126 00:04:46,242 --> 00:04:49,071 Man, you are a lawsuit waitin' to happen. 127 00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:51,291 One of your main responsibilities: 128 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,031 watering the plants. 129 00:04:53,031 --> 00:04:55,120 - These look fake. - Oh, they are! 130 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,297 But Mr. Javitz likes for them to look wet. 131 00:04:57,297 --> 00:05:00,125 Roger, why do you bother with this place? 132 00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:02,171 Mr. Javitz is the first person 133 00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:04,956 to ever trust me with this much responsibility. 134 00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:07,219 And when a great man shines his light on you... 135 00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:09,265 Mmm-mmm-mmm! 136 00:05:09,265 --> 00:05:12,703 Like an ant catchin' some rays under a magnifying glass. 137 00:05:12,703 --> 00:05:14,618 All right. Enjoy your first day! 138 00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:18,361 Did I even agree to work here? 139 00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:20,537 I guess so. 140 00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:23,714 Steve! You hungry? We got extra oatmeal. 141 00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:25,499 Mmm-mmm! 142 00:05:25,499 --> 00:05:26,848 Tuttle, do you work here? 143 00:05:26,848 --> 00:05:29,372 No! I just come here to exercise. 144 00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:31,026 So I've gotten to know the crew. 145 00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:32,375 Hi. I'm Lafrantz. 146 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:35,770 I own and operate Suitfather Part Two. 147 00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:37,467 Why "Part Two"? 148 00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:40,470 Suitfather Part One used to be across the hall. 149 00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:42,037 In the heyday, this part of the mall 150 00:05:42,037 --> 00:05:44,561 was packed with discount suit stores. 151 00:05:44,561 --> 00:05:48,391 There was Suitfather Part One, Suitplantation, 152 00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:50,219 These Suits Were Made For Buying, 153 00:05:50,219 --> 00:05:52,787 Suitar Center, Suit Life of Zack & Cody, 154 00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:54,615 and Zoot Suit Buy-It. 155 00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:57,705 Now I'm the only one left. 156 00:05:57,705 --> 00:06:00,490 With everything closing, why don't you move somewhere else? 157 00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:03,145 I don't know. I guess I'm attached to this place. 158 00:06:03,145 --> 00:06:04,712 There's a lot of good people here. 159 00:06:04,712 --> 00:06:07,062 - Hello. - That's Shania. 160 00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:09,717 She runs Tender Hellos, 161 00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:12,284 a very specific greeting-card store. 162 00:06:13,938 --> 00:06:15,592 STEVE: That is specific. 163 00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:19,074 Steve! It's terrible! They're gonna demolish the mall! 164 00:06:19,074 --> 00:06:21,119 That seems like it could be the right move. 165 00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:24,340 Stop! There are people inside! 166 00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:26,386 Not that many people, but enough! 167 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:29,171 Relax! We're not gonna blow it up now. 168 00:06:29,171 --> 00:06:31,695 That's right! We love to blow stuff up. 169 00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:33,305 And we got so excited 170 00:06:33,305 --> 00:06:36,091 that we came here exactly one month early! 171 00:06:36,091 --> 00:06:37,875 Well, you can't blow up the mall 172 00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:39,486 without Mr. Javitz's permission! 173 00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:41,662 Oh, yes, we can! 174 00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:43,794 [gasps] Evil bankers! 175 00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:48,190 Mr. Javitz hasn't been making his mortgage payments. 176 00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:50,801 If you can't get the money by next month, 177 00:06:50,801 --> 00:06:55,545 we're going to demolish the mall and build condos! 178 00:06:55,545 --> 00:06:58,722 Condos? The worst of all residences! 179 00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,898 Steve, Mr. Javitz is gonna come through 180 00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:03,553 with that anchor store, but we gotta buy him some time. 181 00:07:03,553 --> 00:07:04,815 Okay. Fine. 182 00:07:04,815 --> 00:07:06,556 Oh, thank you! 183 00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:08,471 Check it out. Got your wallet. 184 00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:10,473 Let's see. What have we got here? 185 00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:12,867 Oh, my God! You have a condom? 186 00:07:12,867 --> 00:07:16,261 Oh, no! Oh, geez! 187 00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:18,089 How long has this been in here? 188 00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:19,874 Kid's got a rubber! Oh, my God! 189 00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:21,658 It's been in here so long, 190 00:07:21,658 --> 00:07:24,574 there's, like, a circle indented into the leather! 191 00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:28,360 Oh, that is so sad. That is so hilarious. 192 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,927 I'm gonna tell everybody. 193 00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:32,277 Anyway, here you go. Thanks again for helping me, Steve. 194 00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:34,105 I appreciate you so much. 195 00:07:34,236 --> 00:07:36,499 ♪ 196 00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:40,329 Okay. Stream of consciousness. Let the ideas flow. 197 00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:43,941 Oh! What if we let a stream flow through the mall? 198 00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:46,204 - Okay... - Fine. Something else. 199 00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:48,293 We're trying to get back to the heyday. 200 00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:50,382 The hey... day... 201 00:07:50,382 --> 00:07:52,384 Oh! What about a hay day? 202 00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:55,039 We give everyone who comes to the mall free hay! 203 00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:57,433 Maybe we're too bound by hay. 204 00:07:57,433 --> 00:08:00,523 Do you think we could maybe open it up to ideas beyond hay? 205 00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:02,482 What am I saying? Hay's our bread and butter! 206 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,875 [knock on door] 207 00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:06,660 What are they doing here? 208 00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:09,227 I thought maybe it would help to get some outside opinions. 209 00:08:09,227 --> 00:08:10,925 Sure. Sure. All right. 210 00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:13,623 I guess my one question is, if they have good ideas, 211 00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:16,539 wouldn't Mr. Javitz have left them in charge? 212 00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:19,673 Roger, when was the last time you talked to Mr. Javitz? 213 00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:23,241 Hmm. I would say... 9,000 sleeps? 214 00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:26,027 That's like... 25 years! 215 00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:28,943 Really? Wow! I'm so good at waiting! 216 00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:33,948 Why is no one is eating at our food truck? 217 00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:37,342 I don't get it. We've got plenty of fish, 218 00:08:37,342 --> 00:08:39,736 which felt like it was gonna be the biggest hurdle. 219 00:08:39,736 --> 00:08:43,044 It's the name! Please let me change the name! 220 00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:44,741 But your idea is so gross! 221 00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:47,570 [sighs] Fine. What have we got to lose? 222 00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:49,529 KLAUS: You won't regret this. 223 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,574 I need seven sticks-- five battered, 224 00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:53,097 two double-dipped-- on the fly! 225 00:08:53,097 --> 00:08:55,360 Look at all this cash! We're rich! 226 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,754 Hey, I saw the name of your truck, and I laughed so hard 227 00:08:57,754 --> 00:08:59,234 I just had to try your fish sticks! 228 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,411 [gasps] Daniel! You gotta get down here! 229 00:09:02,411 --> 00:09:06,763 The food is just okay, but the name? Oh, man! 230 00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:08,852 It's kind of funny. 231 00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:10,724 Wear something nice. 232 00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:13,378 ♪ 233 00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:16,294 So, how can we get people back in the mall? 234 00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:17,861 My daughter saved her rec center 235 00:09:17,861 --> 00:09:20,647 by having a dance competition. 236 00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:22,736 I don't wanna copy her exactly, so maybe... 237 00:09:22,736 --> 00:09:24,607 ski race? 238 00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:28,916 I think Erastus the caretaker is breeding wild dogs 239 00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:31,005 in the old Miller's Outpost location. 240 00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:33,529 That's, uh... not really an idea. 241 00:09:33,529 --> 00:09:35,270 No. No, it's not. 242 00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:39,187 "I wish there was something to eat besides oatmeal." 243 00:09:39,187 --> 00:09:41,493 You sell this card in your store? 244 00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:43,060 But that's it! 245 00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:44,932 Roger, I've got it! 246 00:09:44,932 --> 00:09:47,412 What is the beating heart of any mall? 247 00:09:47,412 --> 00:09:49,327 Mr. Javitz's indomitable spirit? 248 00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:52,896 No! The food court! The key is the food court! 249 00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:55,464 I don't know, Steve. Unless you mean a food court 250 00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:57,205 with, like, a big food judge! 251 00:09:57,205 --> 00:10:00,208 "I sentence you to free hay!" 252 00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:01,688 No, Roger! 253 00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:03,690 We're gonna have a food festival 254 00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:06,301 and fill the food court with food trucks. 255 00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:09,086 Dad just texted me that they have a whole fleet of them. 256 00:10:09,086 --> 00:10:10,697 They're doing really well, apparently. 257 00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:13,525 Well, I guess we could tack that onto the hay idea. 258 00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:14,744 - Okay. Go for it. - Yes! 259 00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:16,746 We're gonna save the mall! 260 00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:19,575 Also, Tuttle says you're breeding wild dogs here? 261 00:10:19,575 --> 00:10:23,492 If wild dogs are gonna be having sex, which they are, a lot, 262 00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:26,060 I would rather it be under my supervision, Steve. 263 00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:28,062 Don't bust my balls on this. 264 00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:34,416 ♪ 265 00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:38,550 ♪ Well, we've got a lot, a lot, a lot of hard work today ♪ 266 00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:41,510 ♪ We've got to rock at the government center ♪ 267 00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:44,687 ♪ And make the secretaries feel better ♪ 268 00:10:44,687 --> 00:10:47,864 ♪ When they put those stamps on the ledgers ♪ 269 00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:52,347 ♪ And they got a lot, a lot, a lot of great desks and chairs ♪ 270 00:10:52,347 --> 00:10:54,697 ♪ Uh-huh, at the government center ♪ 271 00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:58,179 ♪ We gotta make the secretaries feel better ♪ 272 00:10:58,179 --> 00:11:01,443 ♪ When they put those stamps on all those letters ♪ 273 00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:05,490 ♪ We've got to rock-a, rock-a, rock-a non-stop tonight ♪ 274 00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:07,667 ♪ Uh-huh, at the government center ♪ 275 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:11,627 ♪ Make the secretaries feel better ♪ 276 00:11:11,627 --> 00:11:15,631 ♪ When they put the stamps on the ledgers ♪ 277 00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:18,286 Gotta hand it to ya, Steve. 278 00:11:18,286 --> 00:11:20,375 You were dead wrong about the hay. 279 00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:23,421 People showed up for it. We have saved the mall! 280 00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:26,642 For now. But how long can we really keep this going? 281 00:11:26,642 --> 00:11:28,513 We only have to hold on until Mr. Javitz 282 00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:30,907 comes back with a tenant for the anchor store! 283 00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:33,997 But, Roger, people don't go to malls anymore. 284 00:11:33,997 --> 00:11:37,392 And, honestly, I don't think Mr. Javitz is coming back. 285 00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:39,873 Steve, there are things we don't joke about-- 286 00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:41,657 Mr. Javitz not coming back 287 00:11:41,657 --> 00:11:43,267 and the time I shit my pants 288 00:11:43,267 --> 00:11:45,313 playing racquetball with Judd Apatow. 289 00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:47,445 You need to face it, Roger! 290 00:11:47,445 --> 00:11:50,492 Mr. Javitz abandoned the mall, and he abandoned you! 291 00:11:50,492 --> 00:11:52,276 You don't know that! You don't know him! 292 00:11:52,276 --> 00:11:55,540 How could I? He's been gone for 25 years! 293 00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:58,065 Please stop saying "25 years"! 294 00:11:58,065 --> 00:12:00,720 [sobs wildly] 295 00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:02,983 Roger? 296 00:12:06,638 --> 00:12:08,205 [Roger sniffling] 297 00:12:08,205 --> 00:12:09,598 Roger? 298 00:12:09,598 --> 00:12:11,208 [whimpering] 299 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:14,385 Roger, I'm sorry. I know I was a little harsh. 300 00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:16,083 Here. 301 00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:22,219 I just worry that with the mall you're hanging on too tight. 302 00:12:22,219 --> 00:12:24,482 Maybe it's time to let go and admit 303 00:12:24,482 --> 00:12:26,615 that Mr. Javitz isn't gonna walk through that door. 304 00:12:26,615 --> 00:12:29,226 You're right, Steve. He isn't. 305 00:12:29,226 --> 00:12:30,750 Because he's gonna float through it! 306 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,795 And here he comes now! 307 00:12:32,795 --> 00:12:34,623 [haunting organ music plays] 308 00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:36,930 [Steve screaming] 309 00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:39,410 ROGER: Returning from the dark realm. 310 00:12:39,410 --> 00:12:42,762 Floats like a butterfly, floats like a bee. 311 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:46,200 It's... the J Man! Mr. Javitz! 312 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,202 And this is Steve. 313 00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:50,944 Steve, you're blowing it. 314 00:12:50,944 --> 00:12:52,989 Jesus. Call some girls or something. 315 00:12:53,381 --> 00:12:55,731 ♪ 316 00:12:55,731 --> 00:12:57,341 Wh--What's happening? 317 00:12:57,341 --> 00:12:59,474 Mr. Javitz is a warlock, Steve! 318 00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:02,085 This is why I was always calling him the bone man. 319 00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:03,826 You never called him that! 320 00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:06,133 Let's not play "who said bone man when." 321 00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:07,917 All I know is that years ago, 322 00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:10,964 I looked into Mr. Javitz's glowing red eyes. 323 00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:13,793 And I've been doing his heinous bidding ever since. 324 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:16,534 And I never looked back, unless I was bid to. 325 00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:18,885 It's simple, Steve! 326 00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:21,888 You see, the mall... 327 00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:23,933 is hungry. 328 00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:25,935 - Duh! - It is built 329 00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:31,158 on an ancient evil spring from which I draw my power! 330 00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:34,857 And whenever it gets hungry, every 25 years or so, 331 00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:37,120 the fountain awakens 332 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:40,384 and I help it feed on the living! 333 00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:43,126 W-What's in it for you? Eternal life? 334 00:13:43,126 --> 00:13:45,389 No, no. I already have that. 335 00:13:45,389 --> 00:13:47,957 I guess I just do it to be nice! 336 00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:50,960 So all the people who came to my food festival... 337 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,615 my family... they're gonna die? 338 00:13:53,615 --> 00:13:56,748 The food festival was your idea? 339 00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:58,402 So smart! 340 00:13:58,402 --> 00:14:01,710 You brought in so many souls! 341 00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,625 Let's not downplay the free hay. 342 00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:05,801 Steve, do you think 343 00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:08,935 you would ever want to maybe... 344 00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:11,894 look into my glowing red eyes 345 00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:14,984 and become bound to me forevermore? 346 00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:16,594 But you've already got me! 347 00:14:16,594 --> 00:14:18,683 Yes, but Steve is... 348 00:14:18,683 --> 00:14:20,337 what's the word... 349 00:14:20,337 --> 00:14:21,686 better? 350 00:14:22,687 --> 00:14:24,298 Go after him! 351 00:14:24,298 --> 00:14:25,908 Obviously, I'm gonna do this for you, 352 00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:28,737 but before I go, could I maybe just look into 353 00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:30,913 your glowing red eyes for like one second? 354 00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,915 Uhh... maybe later, dude. 355 00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:34,917 Totally get it. Totally get it. Keep on rockin'. 356 00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:37,877 "Keep on rockin'"? What-- He's a warlock! 357 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,661 That's the best you could come up with? 358 00:14:39,661 --> 00:14:41,054 You're losing him! 359 00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:43,795 Lafrantz! We gotta evacuate the mall! 360 00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:45,319 Everyone's gonna die! 361 00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:46,711 Whoa. Easy. 362 00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:48,757 Sounds like you met Mr. Javitz! 363 00:14:48,757 --> 00:14:51,629 Oh, no! Are you working with him, too? 364 00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:53,936 [laughs] No. Relax! 365 00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:55,590 When Mr. Javitz feeds the mall, 366 00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:59,159 anyone it consumes has their soul trapped here forever. 367 00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:02,162 I'm trapped here until my soul fades away 368 00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:04,947 and I become a mannequin, just like the others. 369 00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:06,862 The mannequins were people? 370 00:15:06,862 --> 00:15:09,038 Those of us who haven't turned into mannequins yet 371 00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:11,040 were trying to keep people away 372 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:14,000 by running terrible, terrible stores. 373 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,176 Is everyone in the mall a ghost? 374 00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:18,439 No, but we don't have time to go through that now. 375 00:15:18,439 --> 00:15:20,006 I'll tell you later. 376 00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:22,747 Listen. Shania and I have a plan to save everyone. 377 00:15:22,747 --> 00:15:24,488 - Hi. - [screams] 378 00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:27,013 Mr. Javitz draws his power from the fountain. 379 00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:29,232 So we'll have to destroy it. 380 00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:31,321 Fortunately, the mall is already wired with explosives 381 00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:32,844 from the demolitions crew. 382 00:15:32,844 --> 00:15:35,238 If we use those to destroy the fountain, 383 00:15:35,238 --> 00:15:37,588 the mall will never be able to eat again. 384 00:15:37,588 --> 00:15:40,548 I mean, I follow you, but if anyone 385 00:15:40,548 --> 00:15:43,464 was high in their dorm room trying to understand, 386 00:15:43,464 --> 00:15:46,597 they might want to splash some water on their face 387 00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:49,165 and do a little rewind. 388 00:15:49,165 --> 00:15:51,124 Let's do this! 389 00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:54,954 ♪ 390 00:16:01,395 --> 00:16:04,964 Oh, Mr. Javitz. Where did I lose you? 391 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,053 "You are here." 392 00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:09,664 That's right. And I always will be. 393 00:16:09,664 --> 00:16:12,101 ♪ 394 00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:14,886 ♪ Before he was here 395 00:16:14,886 --> 00:16:16,714 ♪ You were here 396 00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:19,239 ♪ And so was I 397 00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:21,893 ♪ To my surprise 398 00:16:21,893 --> 00:16:24,461 ♪ I was hypnotized 399 00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:27,987 ♪ By your glowing red eyes 400 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,467 ♪ You are here 401 00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:35,820 ♪ And so am I! 402 00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:39,085 Everyone run! There's an evil warlock! 403 00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:40,782 Nice try, buddy. 404 00:16:40,782 --> 00:16:43,611 You gotta wait your turn for Donut Whore. 405 00:16:43,611 --> 00:16:48,616 ♪ You believe you found something in Steve ♪ 406 00:16:48,616 --> 00:16:54,622 ♪ But he won't help you kill them all ♪ 407 00:16:54,622 --> 00:17:00,280 ♪ He won't help you feed the mall ♪ 408 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,804 ♪ You are here 409 00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:08,679 ♪ And so am I! 410 00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:11,117 ♪ 411 00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:13,032 The sprinklers aren't strong enough! 412 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,556 Through the old Baby Gap to safety! 413 00:17:15,556 --> 00:17:17,471 You know, a lot of my girlfriends ask me 414 00:17:17,471 --> 00:17:19,299 what I see in you, Mr. J., 415 00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:21,692 why I stick by you when you treat me like this. 416 00:17:21,692 --> 00:17:23,477 And I say, "Listen, girls. 417 00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:26,871 He's hypnotized me with his glowing red eyes!" 418 00:17:26,871 --> 00:17:29,483 ♪ You are here 419 00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:34,444 ♪ And so am I 420 00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:37,143 ♪ One look at Steve 421 00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:39,710 ♪ Made me believe 422 00:17:39,710 --> 00:17:45,107 ♪ He will help me kill them all ♪ 423 00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:49,503 ♪ He will help me feed the mall! ♪ 424 00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:50,939 [crowd shouting] 425 00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:53,420 ♪ He is here 426 00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,596 ♪ And so 427 00:17:55,596 --> 00:17:56,988 ♪ So am I! 428 00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:58,512 [cackles evilly] 429 00:17:58,512 --> 00:18:01,384 ♪ I should walk away 430 00:18:01,384 --> 00:18:04,039 ♪ I should let go 431 00:18:04,039 --> 00:18:10,132 ♪ I should admit that this is over ♪ 432 00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:13,004 ♪ But I don't know how 433 00:18:13,004 --> 00:18:17,922 ♪ And that's the theeeeeeme ♪ 434 00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:20,621 ♪ You are here 435 00:18:20,621 --> 00:18:23,189 ♪ And so 436 00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:28,411 ♪ Am I 437 00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:34,200 Awaken, my evil spring! 438 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,377 It is time for your feast! 439 00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:40,989 Also, I gotta tell you about this kid Steve I met. 440 00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:43,165 He's amazing! 441 00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:46,212 Wut da heck is dis? 442 00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:47,996 STEVE: They're all gone, Mr. Javitz! 443 00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:49,780 I saved them all! 444 00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:52,174 I told you he was amazing! 445 00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:54,524 Steve, are you sure 446 00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:58,746 you don't want to even glance into my glowing red eyes? 447 00:18:58,746 --> 00:19:00,791 He's not interested! 448 00:19:00,791 --> 00:19:03,142 Mr. Javitz, you took everything from me, 449 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:06,188 and now I'm taking everything from you. 450 00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:08,625 And that's perfectly suitable! 451 00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:11,759 Nooooo! 452 00:19:11,759 --> 00:19:14,153 [grunting] Or... 453 00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:16,851 Lafrantz! No! 454 00:19:16,851 --> 00:19:19,027 ROGER: Nooooooo! 455 00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:20,594 I never should've hired you! 456 00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:21,769 Aah! 457 00:19:21,769 --> 00:19:27,383 ♪ 458 00:19:27,383 --> 00:19:31,039 I can't lose you, Steve! 459 00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:33,172 Those glowing eyes. 460 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,391 They're so... red. 461 00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:39,787 MR. JAVITZ: At last you are mine! 462 00:19:39,787 --> 00:19:41,658 Are you frickin' kidding me? 463 00:19:41,658 --> 00:19:44,008 Aah! 464 00:19:44,008 --> 00:19:47,360 [screaming] 465 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:49,449 Do you think he'll be okay, Steve? 466 00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:51,538 I just want him to learn a lesson, you know? 467 00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:53,496 MR. JAVITZ: This fountain is the one thing 468 00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:56,804 that can destroy me forever! 469 00:19:56,804 --> 00:19:59,023 Do you think he heard me or did he say that randomly? 470 00:19:59,023 --> 00:20:00,634 He's so random. 471 00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:02,592 It's one of the things I like most about him. 472 00:20:02,592 --> 00:20:04,681 After his glowing red eyes, of course. 473 00:20:04,681 --> 00:20:05,943 [screams] 474 00:20:05,943 --> 00:20:07,554 [bubbling] 475 00:20:07,554 --> 00:20:09,556 [whoosh] 476 00:20:09,556 --> 00:20:12,254 ♪ 477 00:20:13,995 --> 00:20:16,215 All those years of loyal service, 478 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,608 and he still couldn't see me. 479 00:20:18,608 --> 00:20:21,611 You were right, Steve. I had to let go. 480 00:20:21,611 --> 00:20:24,179 - Steve? Are you listening to me? - [fingers snap] 481 00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:26,616 [electricity pulsating] 482 00:20:26,616 --> 00:20:29,489 Oh, man. Javitz got you good! 483 00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:31,621 I've been there, buddy. Enjoy the ride. 484 00:20:31,621 --> 00:20:33,362 It's rewarding as hell. 485 00:20:34,929 --> 00:20:36,757 Okay, Dadders, it's time to answer 486 00:20:36,757 --> 00:20:39,368 Steve's question about who was a ghost. 487 00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:41,457 Me and Shania? Ghosts! 488 00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:43,459 The guy who ran the Bazooka Sharks Socks Store? 489 00:20:43,459 --> 00:20:45,244 Not a ghost! 490 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,897 The lady who ran the oatmeal store? 491 00:20:46,897 --> 00:20:48,595 G-G-G-Ghost! 492 00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:52,076 The documentary crew? One ghost, one regular! 493 00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:56,690 Tuttle? You bet your ass he was a [bleep] ghost! 494 00:20:56,690 --> 00:20:58,257 Bye! Have a beautiful time!