1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:17,000
2
00:01:28,376 --> 00:01:29,621
- Hey, sexy.
- Hi.
3
00:01:29,621 --> 00:01:33,993
I love that dress.
4
00:01:34,028 --> 00:01:36,773
Of course you do, Lorenzo.
You made it.
5
00:01:37,771 --> 00:01:40,390
- Ah, there you are. Hi.
- Lena.
6
00:01:40,932 --> 00:01:43,186
- You've done it again.
- Well, it's all for you, Bradlee.
7
00:01:43,394 --> 00:01:44,492
Gotta mingle.
8
00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:46,482
Oh, the girls are by the pool.
9
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:51,237
Well, well, well, Lena. So, where's
this sexy boy toy of yours hiding?
10
00:01:51,405 --> 00:01:52,955
I didn't know you were
a football fan, Patrick.
11
00:01:52,955 --> 00:01:56,713
I've never watched a game. I'm just
a big fan of his old underwear ads.
12
00:01:57,162 --> 00:02:00,496
Well, he's probably just getting out of
the shower. Let me go hurry his ass up.
13
00:02:00,957 --> 00:02:02,356
- Hi.
- Hey, babe.
14
00:02:04,545 --> 00:02:07,921
Start of the fourth quarter, and Owens
will throw. He's got Brown wide open!
15
00:02:08,317 --> 00:02:10,636
You have got
to be kidding me!
16
00:02:10,761 --> 00:02:13,886
Honey, just let me finish the game,
I'll take you to the movies.
17
00:02:14,058 --> 00:02:15,634
Take me to the movies?
18
00:02:15,893 --> 00:02:19,105
Hello! There's a huge party
going on downstairs.
19
00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:21,411
Remember the catering trucks,
the valet parkers?
20
00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:23,585
Oh, shit, I forgot.
21
00:02:24,569 --> 00:02:26,447
I'll tell you what
you should forget about.
22
00:02:28,074 --> 00:02:29,076
Football.
23
00:02:29,284 --> 00:02:31,453
Because it's forgotten
all about you.
24
00:02:32,371 --> 00:02:35,125
Now, you're gonna put this outfit on
that I bought you,
25
00:02:35,291 --> 00:02:38,004
drag your drunken ass
downstairs
26
00:02:38,129 --> 00:02:42,133
and mingle with my clients
like a good boy.
27
00:02:42,675 --> 00:02:45,095
Who am I? Elton John?
I ain't wearing that shit.
28
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- Yes, you are.
- I'm not your trained monkey, honey.
29
00:02:48,599 --> 00:02:51,562
No. You're much more
expensive than that.
30
00:02:52,062 --> 00:02:53,314
But I tell you what.
31
00:02:53,522 --> 00:02:56,109
If you're not downstairs
in five minutes,
32
00:02:56,318 --> 00:02:58,237
I'm gonna throw you
out of my bed,
33
00:02:58,487 --> 00:03:01,406
out of my house
and out of my life.
34
00:03:01,573 --> 00:03:04,285
Then you're gonna have to
pay for your own bananas.
35
00:03:05,161 --> 00:03:08,540
I'm just so mad at you
because you're not wearing my gift.
36
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Gift?
37
00:03:11,878 --> 00:03:12,795
What gift?
38
00:03:13,004 --> 00:03:16,718
It's like a... I-love-you gift.
I left it in the closet for you.
39
00:03:17,385 --> 00:03:18,553
Really?
40
00:03:18,845 --> 00:03:20,697
- Paul, I'm so excited.
- Yeah.
41
00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,307
I can't believe
you did this.
42
00:03:22,515 --> 00:03:25,028
- Where'd you put it?
- In the back, on the right.
43
00:03:26,136 --> 00:03:27,939
Paul? Paul,
what are you doing?
44
00:03:28,065 --> 00:03:30,108
I think we need some
alone time, honey,
45
00:03:30,317 --> 00:03:33,029
so... I'm gonna go take a cruise
in your Bentley.
46
00:03:33,237 --> 00:03:36,408
Don't you dare take my car,
you drunken bastard!
47
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:39,454
- I own you!
- I love you.
48
00:04:00,103 --> 00:04:02,648
Somebody please open
this damn door! Patrick?
49
00:04:02,856 --> 00:04:05,067
- Lena?
- Patrick.
50
00:04:06,027 --> 00:04:07,278
What happened to you?
51
00:04:07,487 --> 00:04:10,282
He locked me in the closet
and left me to die.
52
00:04:10,491 --> 00:04:12,607
Oh, my God,
he is deranged!
53
00:04:12,607 --> 00:04:15,123
He thinks
he can mess with me.
54
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:16,249
911.
55
00:04:19,919 --> 00:04:23,674
Oh, man.
Here come the party poopers.
56
00:04:31,892 --> 00:04:35,355
Well, well, well. I'll be damned.
If it isn't Paul Crewe.
57
00:04:35,564 --> 00:04:38,191
So, what did I do wrong?
Was I driving poorly?
58
00:04:38,483 --> 00:04:40,736
Nope. Nope.
This car was reported stolen.
59
00:04:40,902 --> 00:04:44,198
No, no, no.
It's, uh, actually my girlfriend's car.
60
00:04:44,866 --> 00:04:46,135
Shit happens.
61
00:04:46,201 --> 00:04:49,164
Shit does happen. I mean,
look what happened to your ears.
62
00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:54,128
I gotta ask you something.
Does he get XM Radio with those?
63
00:04:54,879 --> 00:04:57,132
Actually, they get
a couple of channels.
64
00:04:59,761 --> 00:05:00,886
It's Paul Crewe.
65
00:05:01,053 --> 00:05:02,346
Another question, though.
66
00:05:02,554 --> 00:05:04,390
Santa Claus.
What's he like?
67
00:05:05,933 --> 00:05:08,437
Boy, I hate to arrest
a public figure like yourself,
68
00:05:08,604 --> 00:05:10,012
but, hell,
I don't think you got
69
00:05:10,012 --> 00:05:12,942
too many endorsement deals
to worry about now, do you?
70
00:05:13,151 --> 00:05:15,738
Now, listen here, Mr. Frodo.
Don't get short with me.
71
00:05:18,658 --> 00:05:20,786
That was good.
I mean, he's good.
72
00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:24,267
Man. I hope you got a lot of money
for that game you threw,
73
00:05:24,267 --> 00:05:26,849
cause that was the most pathetic
thing I ever saw.
74
00:05:26,849 --> 00:05:29,313
Now, step out of the vehicle,
Mr. Crewe.
75
00:05:29,348 --> 00:05:32,842
Uh, don't you think I should pull the car
over more? I could get sideswiped.
76
00:05:33,009 --> 00:05:34,834
You sound like you're
slurring your words a bit there, Paul.
77
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:35,823
You been drinking tonight?
78
00:05:35,823 --> 00:05:40,616
Absolutely not. Now, could you do me a
favor? Hold this beer while I back it up.
79
00:05:45,566 --> 00:05:49,920
Hey, you can finish that one.
I got five more. Take care, guys.
80
00:05:51,323 --> 00:05:53,325
We got a 3-94 in progress.
81
00:06:11,389 --> 00:06:13,057
Okay, remain calm.
82
00:06:13,266 --> 00:06:17,188
How you doin'? What's up?
What's up? What's up?
83
00:06:20,692 --> 00:06:24,280
What you are watching is live footage
of a vehicle, apparently stolen,
84
00:06:24,447 --> 00:06:25,865
being pursued by police.
85
00:06:26,073 --> 00:06:28,869
We're receiving word now
that the driver of that vehicle
86
00:06:29,077 --> 00:06:31,831
is former Pittsburgh football star
Paul Crewe.
87
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:33,499
Crewe,
you might remember,
88
00:06:33,708 --> 00:06:37,129
was the only man ever to be indicted
on federal racketeering charges
89
00:06:37,337 --> 00:06:39,631
for shaving points
in a professional football game,
90
00:06:39,841 --> 00:06:41,383
although it was never
fully proven.
91
00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:45,300
Yeah!
92
00:06:51,355 --> 00:06:53,524
- Yello.
- Do not get one more scratch
93
00:06:53,733 --> 00:06:56,110
on my car,
or I will slit your throat.
94
00:06:58,572 --> 00:07:00,240
See, that's our problem,
sweetie.
95
00:07:00,449 --> 00:07:02,910
You care about this car
more than you do us.
96
00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:05,747
And how'd you even know
there was a scratch on this baby?
97
00:07:05,872 --> 00:07:09,710
Because I am watching you on TV,
as is the whole country.
98
00:07:09,919 --> 00:07:11,629
Once again,
you are proving to everyone
99
00:07:11,837 --> 00:07:14,216
what a worthless piece of shit
you are.
100
00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:18,389
Well, I hope they like this.
101
00:07:38,454 --> 00:07:39,914
Hey, Lena!
102
00:07:40,081 --> 00:07:43,501
I think we should start
seeing other people!
103
00:07:46,170 --> 00:07:48,135
I think I'm in love.
104
00:07:50,260 --> 00:07:52,972
Good news, boys,
I didn't spill my beer.
105
00:07:53,764 --> 00:07:57,102
Without question, Crewe's five-year
federal probation for point-shaving
106
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,188
has been severely
violated tonight.
107
00:07:59,397 --> 00:08:02,649
The future of this once-great football
star looks very dark indeed.
108
00:08:24,677 --> 00:08:27,972
Long way from the big city,
huh, superstar?
109
00:08:30,267 --> 00:08:32,729
Staying with the times
around here, huh?
110
00:08:38,277 --> 00:08:40,488
Ain't she beau-ta-ful?
111
00:08:58,135 --> 00:08:59,929
Home sweet home, boy.
112
00:09:00,096 --> 00:09:01,383
Get on your feet.
113
00:09:05,309 --> 00:09:07,312
You're one lucky
son of a bitch, Crewe.
114
00:09:07,562 --> 00:09:09,481
- Is that right?
- That's right.
115
00:09:09,689 --> 00:09:11,665
See, the warden loves
his football.
116
00:09:12,068 --> 00:09:15,030
Fact, he was on the winning side
of your little thing.
117
00:09:15,239 --> 00:09:18,076
- Well, tell him congratulations.
- But I wasn't.
118
00:09:20,621 --> 00:09:21,872
Welcome to Allenville.
119
00:09:22,288 --> 00:09:24,917
Thank you, sergeant.
I'll take it from here.
120
00:09:27,796 --> 00:09:30,090
- Afternoon, inmate Crewe.
- Yeah.
121
00:09:30,298 --> 00:09:32,260
Come on.
Warden wants to see you.
122
00:09:32,844 --> 00:09:33,845
Let's do it.
123
00:09:34,262 --> 00:09:35,264
Move it.
124
00:09:57,666 --> 00:09:59,418
I used to play
a little college ball myself.
125
00:09:59,626 --> 00:10:01,504
Down at
the University of Miami.
126
00:10:01,671 --> 00:10:04,006
I bet a lot of your old teammates
are locked up in here.
127
00:10:04,214 --> 00:10:07,469
No inmates from my playing days.
Couple of guards, though.
128
00:10:07,677 --> 00:10:10,347
See, we got us a fine
prison-guard league down here.
129
00:10:11,515 --> 00:10:14,144
It's like a...
company softball team.
130
00:10:14,895 --> 00:10:16,438
Now, the warden...
131
00:10:17,608 --> 00:10:19,173
he's gonna ask you
to help out.
132
00:10:19,173 --> 00:10:21,070
Okay. With what?
133
00:10:27,243 --> 00:10:28,759
That wasn't nice.
134
00:10:31,373 --> 00:10:32,651
When the warden
asks you,
135
00:10:33,501 --> 00:10:36,472
- what are you gonna say?
- Yes?
136
00:10:45,723 --> 00:10:48,498
You're gonna tell him "no".
You got it?
137
00:10:48,770 --> 00:10:50,230
You're gonna tell
the warden
138
00:10:50,396 --> 00:10:53,609
that you want nothing to do
with his football fantasies.
139
00:10:54,568 --> 00:10:56,443
Not in my back yard.
140
00:10:57,864 --> 00:11:01,350
Because the warden
don't run this prison. I do.
141
00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:04,604
- You understand?
- Not entirely.
142
00:11:08,961 --> 00:11:13,061
Okay. I feel you, dog.
I feel you.
143
00:11:15,218 --> 00:11:17,633
Paul "Wrecking" Crewe.
144
00:11:17,747 --> 00:11:19,851
I don't get to say this
to my new guests very often,
145
00:11:20,059 --> 00:11:22,437
but it's an honor to have you
here at this institution.
146
00:11:22,645 --> 00:11:24,814
It's an honor to be
locked up here, sir.
147
00:11:26,094 --> 00:11:28,610
Oh, this is, uh,
Errol Dandridge.
148
00:11:30,154 --> 00:11:32,282
Colonel Sanders
been eating his own chicken.
149
00:11:32,841 --> 00:11:34,608
He's my political adviser.
150
00:11:34,608 --> 00:11:37,987
See, I've been approached
by several very influential people
151
00:11:37,987 --> 00:11:41,019
wondering if I'd be interested
in standing for governor.
152
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:45,745
They see the way I run this prison,
think maybe I should run this state.
153
00:11:46,078 --> 00:11:48,263
Only with less sodomy,
right?
154
00:11:53,641 --> 00:11:55,226
Hopefully none.
155
00:11:55,977 --> 00:11:56,895
Sorry.
156
00:11:58,898 --> 00:12:02,354
Now, there are two things we take very
seriously here in the state of Texas.
157
00:12:02,778 --> 00:12:05,533
Prison and football.
158
00:12:05,739 --> 00:12:07,245
We play
a little of the latter here.
159
00:12:07,245 --> 00:12:11,950
Uh, the warden is too modest to admit
that his team is rather good.
160
00:12:12,205 --> 00:12:13,581
But not good enough.
161
00:12:14,291 --> 00:12:16,881
Five years since
our last championship.
162
00:12:17,461 --> 00:12:18,413
Five years.
163
00:12:18,413 --> 00:12:21,785
Now, I've worked real hard,
pulled strings,
164
00:12:21,785 --> 00:12:24,444
called in quite a few favors
to get you here, Paul.
165
00:12:25,596 --> 00:12:27,021
Now, why would you go
and do that?
166
00:12:27,021 --> 00:12:30,803
Because I am convinced that
you can get us back on track.
167
00:12:33,231 --> 00:12:36,841
I haven't played football in I don't
know how long. I don't really want to.
168
00:12:37,444 --> 00:12:40,338
You wouldn't be playing, Paul.
Just... just consulting.
169
00:12:40,865 --> 00:12:43,369
Anyone who was once the MVP
of the National Football League
170
00:12:43,577 --> 00:12:45,898
must have a great deal
of expertise to offer.
171
00:12:46,538 --> 00:12:49,641
Captain, what would you say
to Mr. Crewe looking in,
172
00:12:49,641 --> 00:12:52,239
giving us the benefit
of his experience?
173
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:56,234
Oh, I think that's a real good idea, warden.
We can use all the help we can get.
174
00:12:57,072 --> 00:13:01,037
Well, then, it's all settled.
Whatcha say, Paul?
175
00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:05,248
I appreciate the offer,
but I'm gonna have to pass.
176
00:13:09,345 --> 00:13:11,572
Now, I can assure you
177
00:13:11,572 --> 00:13:16,262
that your time here will be a whole
lot easier if you just participate.
178
00:13:17,910 --> 00:13:21,416
I just wanna do my time
and go home. Nothing else.
179
00:13:24,710 --> 00:13:26,767
If you'll excuse us,
Mr. Crewe.
180
00:13:27,125 --> 00:13:28,882
Captain Knauer,
you can stay.
181
00:13:33,722 --> 00:13:35,121
Sit down!
182
00:13:37,602 --> 00:13:41,414
I used to love
your underwear commercials.
183
00:13:42,316 --> 00:13:43,464
Thank you very much.
184
00:13:43,464 --> 00:13:47,478
My ex-husband wore the
same brand of tighty whities.
185
00:13:49,156 --> 00:13:52,845
He didn't fill 'em out
quite as well as you, though.
186
00:13:53,287 --> 00:13:56,356
Special effects. Hollywood.
Not all me.
187
00:13:56,356 --> 00:13:59,790
Oh, I doubt that
very seriously.
188
00:14:00,004 --> 00:14:02,478
Well, then get him
enthusiastic, damn it!
189
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:04,809
Come on, get up.
190
00:14:05,051 --> 00:14:06,900
How'd it go in there?
We all set now?
191
00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:08,537
Oh, yeah,
we're real tight.
192
00:14:21,239 --> 00:14:24,243
Only the finest for you,
superstar.
193
00:14:28,956 --> 00:14:30,394
I was just playing.
194
00:14:36,173 --> 00:14:37,466
I ain't gonna forget you,
Crewe.
195
00:14:37,675 --> 00:14:39,433
Hey, yo, you owe me money
on that game, punk!
196
00:14:39,433 --> 00:14:40,918
Better watch yourself,
Mr. Football!
197
00:14:41,212 --> 00:14:42,579
Bitch!
198
00:14:49,147 --> 00:14:51,025
Yeah, you better run,
woman.
199
00:14:53,945 --> 00:14:55,005
Yo, football.
200
00:14:55,629 --> 00:14:57,018
Take a seat.
201
00:14:57,867 --> 00:14:58,730
Thanks.
202
00:14:58,730 --> 00:15:01,882
You know, I have never seen
one inmate just walk in here
203
00:15:01,882 --> 00:15:05,313
and be unanimously hated
by the entire population.
204
00:15:05,313 --> 00:15:07,655
- I ain't never seen it.
- How'd I get so lucky?
205
00:15:07,655 --> 00:15:09,544
Well, you could've robbed banks,
you could've sold crack,
206
00:15:09,544 --> 00:15:12,312
you could've stole your grandmama's
pension, and nobody would 'ave cared.
207
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:15,971
But shaving points off a football game?
Man, that's just un-American.
208
00:15:16,138 --> 00:15:17,921
- You play football?
- Me? Nah.
209
00:15:17,921 --> 00:15:21,315
I suck so bad, they used
to pick me after the white kids.
210
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:24,814
Used to be mad too. It's like "I can't
believe I picked a nigga that can't play."
211
00:15:24,953 --> 00:15:27,981
- Caretaker.
- Paul Crewe.
212
00:15:27,981 --> 00:15:30,575
Whatever your pleasure,
I can facilitate.
213
00:15:30,575 --> 00:15:33,886
You need weed, you need meth...
Hey, you need Prozac, I'm your man.
214
00:15:33,886 --> 00:15:36,162
I know how you white boys
always deal with that depression.
215
00:15:36,162 --> 00:15:38,340
I mean, me personally, I don't
understand what you white boys
216
00:15:38,340 --> 00:15:41,044
all depressed about.
Hey, you're white. Smile.
217
00:15:41,442 --> 00:15:44,919
And for a small fee,
I can even get you McDonald's.
218
00:15:44,919 --> 00:15:46,876
- Really?
- Yeah, that's right. Mickey D's.
219
00:15:46,876 --> 00:15:48,677
My man Cheeseburger Eddy
got the hookup.
220
00:15:48,677 --> 00:15:49,458
Cheeseburger Eddy?
221
00:15:49,822 --> 00:15:51,549
That's right.
We can get our McFlurry on.
222
00:15:51,549 --> 00:15:53,472
Enjoy it, fat man.
223
00:15:53,851 --> 00:15:55,780
What about the love
of a beautiful woman?
224
00:15:55,780 --> 00:15:57,162
Well, you're gonna have
to lower your standards
225
00:15:57,162 --> 00:16:00,131
on the beautiful part
and on the woman part.
226
00:16:00,735 --> 00:16:02,209
Hey.
227
00:16:02,946 --> 00:16:04,259
Let's just stick
with the cheeseburgers.
228
00:16:04,259 --> 00:16:07,675
Oh, they ugly now, but in eight months,
he gonna look like Beyoncé.
229
00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:08,717
No, thanks.
230
00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:10,617
Now, here's
the most important part.
231
00:16:11,048 --> 00:16:13,471
You can't let these guys scare you.
You can't let them punk you.
232
00:16:13,471 --> 00:16:16,362
Cause if you do that, you gonna
end up being somebody's bitch.
233
00:16:16,362 --> 00:16:19,388
Don't want that.
Thanks for the advice.
234
00:16:25,349 --> 00:16:27,639
Hey. Let me take that tray
out for you.
235
00:16:27,934 --> 00:16:28,932
I ain't done eating yet.
236
00:16:28,932 --> 00:16:31,001
Oh, you're not?
I'll give it back to you, then.
237
00:16:32,148 --> 00:16:33,650
You're dead!
238
00:16:42,911 --> 00:16:44,373
Hornet's Nest!
239
00:16:56,104 --> 00:16:58,170
- Everybody stay down.
- Stay quiet!
240
00:17:03,098 --> 00:17:04,635
Come on, Crewe,
get up.
241
00:17:05,606 --> 00:17:07,069
Get up, superstar.
242
00:17:07,983 --> 00:17:08,561
Yes, sir.
243
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:11,869
You think you can do anything
you want around here, don't you?
244
00:17:11,869 --> 00:17:14,781
Well, you are no different
than any other piece of shit
245
00:17:14,781 --> 00:17:16,657
that calls this place home.
246
00:17:16,750 --> 00:17:20,148
Really? These guys think
you're a dumb redneck too?
247
00:17:21,643 --> 00:17:23,664
Ooh, girl,
that's your new boo.
248
00:17:30,552 --> 00:17:32,681
You better cut that shit out.
It's gettin' old.
249
00:17:33,140 --> 00:17:36,705
- That's gonna cost you.
- Lookin' forward to it.
250
00:18:28,331 --> 00:18:30,100
Wake up,
Sleeping Beauty.
251
00:18:32,615 --> 00:18:33,945
Hey, superdick.
252
00:18:35,478 --> 00:18:39,027
Warden's wondering if your stay
in the hotbox has changed your mind.
253
00:18:39,436 --> 00:18:40,896
How long
have I been in here?
254
00:18:40,896 --> 00:18:43,926
One week.
Wanna go for two? Huh?
255
00:18:50,904 --> 00:18:52,874
How'd you find
these guys anyways?
256
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:54,164
Recruitment, boy.
257
00:18:54,447 --> 00:18:57,385
When college stars don't get drafted,
they need a place to go.
258
00:18:57,385 --> 00:19:00,486
A job, money, security...
259
00:19:00,486 --> 00:19:03,343
Who drank
all the damn Gatorade?!
260
00:19:04,209 --> 00:19:06,977
- Damn it!
- And apparently steroids?
261
00:19:07,433 --> 00:19:10,968
Look, seems like you got all the talent
you'd want. So why do you need me?
262
00:19:10,968 --> 00:19:12,719
Well, now, you might
find this hard to believe,
263
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:15,666
but there's some folks here in the prison
league don't care for me very much.
264
00:19:15,666 --> 00:19:18,700
- You, warden?
- Yeah, well, they thought it might be amusing
265
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:21,646
to schedule the defending
league champs as our first game.
266
00:19:21,779 --> 00:19:24,243
And me? Well, I thought
an old pro like yourself
267
00:19:24,243 --> 00:19:28,214
might have some training-camp tricks,
drills, insights to offer up.
268
00:19:28,214 --> 00:19:30,005
Give us the competitive edge.
269
00:19:30,342 --> 00:19:34,095
All right. Relatively simple.
You need a tune-up game.
270
00:19:34,095 --> 00:19:35,108
A tune-up game?
271
00:19:35,108 --> 00:19:38,078
Yeah. In college, we'd start every
season against the Appalachian State
272
00:19:38,078 --> 00:19:39,511
or some slack Division 2 team.
273
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:42,445
Kick the living shit out of them.
Get their confidence up.
274
00:19:44,368 --> 00:19:45,918
You know something,
Paul?
275
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:48,456
- You've just given me an inspiration.
- That's great. What?
276
00:19:48,456 --> 00:19:51,321
You're gonna assemble a team
to play the first game against us.
277
00:19:51,321 --> 00:19:55,099
And you, Mr. Crewe,
are gonna be the quarterback.
278
00:19:55,099 --> 00:19:56,331
I don't think so.
279
00:19:56,331 --> 00:19:57,734
Let me tell you something.
280
00:19:57,734 --> 00:20:00,996
In my prison, to get along,
you gotta go along.
281
00:20:00,996 --> 00:20:03,160
I just wanna do my three years
and be done.
282
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,965
Three years is before
you assaulted captain Knauer.
283
00:20:06,418 --> 00:20:10,301
Now, you could be with us
for a very long time, Mr. Crewe.
284
00:20:12,125 --> 00:20:13,512
Fine, I'll do it.
285
00:20:14,540 --> 00:20:15,963
Good choice.
286
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,898
But, uh, one condition,
though.
287
00:20:18,898 --> 00:20:22,069
Gotta promise me to keep
captain Knauer off my back.
288
00:20:22,069 --> 00:20:23,193
It's a deal.
289
00:20:23,193 --> 00:20:25,631
Now, you got four weeks
to assemble a team and train 'em.
290
00:20:25,631 --> 00:20:28,815
What, are we gonna have a half-hour
a day to practice with a Nerf ball?
291
00:20:28,815 --> 00:20:32,415
Oh, I'll make sure my boys allow you
sufficient freedom, within these walls,
292
00:20:32,415 --> 00:20:34,214
to get your team in shape.
293
00:20:36,649 --> 00:20:42,036
What's this?
Foot-ball tree-outs.
294
00:20:42,036 --> 00:20:43,175
What the hell is a "tree-out"?
295
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:44,906
"Try-out," you half a meatball.
296
00:20:45,282 --> 00:20:48,129
- Now, what's this football thing about, man?
- Crewe's gettin' a team together.
297
00:20:48,129 --> 00:20:50,432
- To play against who?
- The guards.
298
00:20:50,882 --> 00:20:54,474
Now, I don't know about y'all...
but I occasionally have the impulse
299
00:20:54,474 --> 00:20:57,371
to physically assault one of our
finer correctional officers.
300
00:20:57,371 --> 00:20:59,645
Yeah? Well, how the hell
we gonna get to do that?
301
00:20:59,645 --> 00:21:02,156
Just show up at the "tree-outs",
you big, dumb bitch.
302
00:21:03,932 --> 00:21:05,241
Do the girls get to play?
303
00:21:05,241 --> 00:21:08,068
Oh, we're playing footballs,
not... balls-balls.
304
00:21:08,243 --> 00:21:11,691
This is bullshit. Just another chance
for the guards to beat on us.
305
00:21:11,691 --> 00:21:14,884
Don't you idiots get it? We could get
a free shot at the guards.
306
00:21:15,202 --> 00:21:16,988
This is our turn.
We could beat up on 'em.
307
00:21:16,988 --> 00:21:18,527
We could kill them.
308
00:21:19,732 --> 00:21:20,646
Kill 'em.
309
00:21:26,688 --> 00:21:29,574
You know, MVP
sold his own teammates out.
310
00:21:30,314 --> 00:21:32,689
What do you think
he's gonna do to you, fools?
311
00:21:34,206 --> 00:21:37,260
And that's the truth.
With some cheese on it.
312
00:21:38,317 --> 00:21:40,302
There ain't no meat loaf
between these buns.
313
00:21:40,302 --> 00:21:42,719
Yo, man, that's my flier, man!
I worked hard on it!
314
00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:45,373
You see? He ran like a little bitch,
right? You saw that, right?
315
00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:48,770
Yo, team needs you.
Team needs you.
316
00:21:48,770 --> 00:21:51,546
You sh... Come to the tr...
Come to the tree-outs.
317
00:21:56,598 --> 00:21:59,214
Crappy field,
shit-ass equipment...
318
00:21:59,254 --> 00:22:02,523
Hey, man, at least we got some
world-class players over there.
319
00:22:04,847 --> 00:22:06,434
Forty-five.
320
00:22:07,266 --> 00:22:08,832
Forty-six.
321
00:22:10,144 --> 00:22:11,224
Forty-seven.
322
00:22:11,224 --> 00:22:12,906
He might make the team.
323
00:22:12,928 --> 00:22:15,102
Well, if we gotta cut 'im,
you're doin' it.
324
00:22:15,548 --> 00:22:17,257
Forty-nine.
325
00:22:17,925 --> 00:22:19,364
Fifty!
326
00:22:19,990 --> 00:22:21,116
- All right, man.
- Good job, man.
327
00:22:21,325 --> 00:22:23,477
Well, well, well.
You a football player?
328
00:22:23,688 --> 00:22:26,453
Oh, no. I never played
no football, mister.
329
00:22:26,453 --> 00:22:29,419
So, what happened? You read the flier,
thought it looked like some fun?
330
00:22:29,419 --> 00:22:31,606
- Oh, I can't read.
- Oh, don't worry.
331
00:22:31,606 --> 00:22:33,158
Reading's for rich people.
332
00:22:33,927 --> 00:22:37,456
Just so you know, we're putting together
a football team. Love you to join.
333
00:22:37,704 --> 00:22:39,789
Will you teach me
to football?
334
00:22:39,789 --> 00:22:41,794
Sure we'll teach you to football.
Won't we, Caretaker?
335
00:22:41,794 --> 00:22:44,353
Hey, I'll teach you anything.
Just don't eat me.
336
00:22:45,288 --> 00:22:46,538
Okay.
337
00:22:48,584 --> 00:22:50,757
Down, Shrek. Down!
338
00:22:51,559 --> 00:22:55,861
Okay. Bring it in. Whoever's
tryin' out for the team, wake up.
339
00:22:55,861 --> 00:22:57,696
Can you give a brother
a little hustle?
340
00:22:57,893 --> 00:22:59,172
Very good.
341
00:22:59,273 --> 00:23:02,074
For those of you who don't know
who I am, I'm Paul Crewe.
342
00:23:02,074 --> 00:23:05,857
I'm gonna be your coach,
your captain, your quarterback...
343
00:23:05,857 --> 00:23:08,253
Hey, you haven't played in years.
Why can't I be quarterback, huh?
344
00:23:08,253 --> 00:23:10,324
- You're right. Let's see what you got.
- All right.
345
00:23:10,501 --> 00:23:12,546
- Hit me, I'm open.
- Hike, hike! Hike!
346
00:23:12,982 --> 00:23:14,740
That's why.
Now, sit down and shut up.
347
00:23:14,740 --> 00:23:16,791
It slipped. I just ate popcorn.
348
00:23:16,870 --> 00:23:19,709
Question: Any of you gentlemen
ever play football before?
349
00:23:20,952 --> 00:23:23,044
- You did? Where?
- Kansas State.
350
00:23:23,044 --> 00:23:24,983
Are you shittin' me?
For coach Snyder?
351
00:23:24,983 --> 00:23:26,980
Ah, Kansas State Prison.
352
00:23:27,678 --> 00:23:31,148
Now, I hear they have
the softest mattresses out there.
353
00:23:31,148 --> 00:23:32,495
Yeah, they do.
They do.
354
00:23:32,495 --> 00:23:34,815
Not as soft as the ones
at West Texas Mental Institution.
355
00:23:34,815 --> 00:23:37,369
- Really?
- All right, let's finish this conversation later.
356
00:23:37,369 --> 00:23:40,185
For now, I wanna see
what you got out there.
357
00:23:40,185 --> 00:23:42,615
Uhh, we'll grade them
on a scale of one to ten.
358
00:23:42,615 --> 00:23:43,278
Yeah.
359
00:23:43,313 --> 00:23:44,974
Move it!
Hustle, hustle, hustle!
360
00:23:45,463 --> 00:23:48,439
Give these guys sixes.
Give these guys fives...
361
00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:50,792
Good, good.
Give them threes.
362
00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:52,214
Very nice!
363
00:23:53,542 --> 00:23:56,600
- Aren't we missin' somebody?
- Where is the Kansas State guy?
364
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:02,731
You assholes better not cut me!
I'm still on this team!
365
00:24:03,508 --> 00:24:06,276
- Negative two.
- All right, go with negative two.
366
00:24:06,681 --> 00:24:09,660
Hey! Somebody bring me
a Diet Coke!
367
00:24:09,660 --> 00:24:10,949
- Let's do this!
- That's it!
368
00:24:12,343 --> 00:24:13,389
Five.
369
00:24:14,535 --> 00:24:16,261
Good. Seven.
370
00:24:17,550 --> 00:24:19,477
Stupid tire!
You're a fricking tire!
371
00:24:19,477 --> 00:24:22,516
You think you're better than me?!
I'll kick your ass!
372
00:24:24,090 --> 00:24:24,957
Three.
373
00:24:26,859 --> 00:24:28,104
And a half?
374
00:24:28,309 --> 00:24:30,449
Yeah. That's better.
375
00:24:30,449 --> 00:24:31,786
Okay. Good.
376
00:24:33,279 --> 00:24:34,723
Yeah. Hit that bag, man.
377
00:24:35,129 --> 00:24:36,004
Four.
378
00:24:38,641 --> 00:24:40,117
- Five, I don't know.
- I go.
379
00:24:40,311 --> 00:24:41,759
Come on, Switowski!
380
00:24:43,822 --> 00:24:46,071
Daddy!
381
00:24:48,379 --> 00:24:49,244
Oh, man!
382
00:24:49,339 --> 00:24:50,868
- Look at that.
- He got it off the hinge.
383
00:24:50,868 --> 00:24:53,369
- I think that's a ten.
- Let's go with a ten.
384
00:24:53,369 --> 00:24:57,025
I'm sorry.
I brokeded your toy.
385
00:24:57,122 --> 00:25:00,195
No, that's a good thing. You should
have a victory hug with Caretaker.
386
00:25:00,195 --> 00:25:02,706
What? What you
talkin' about, man? Hey!
387
00:25:05,313 --> 00:25:06,493
Asshole!
388
00:25:07,949 --> 00:25:10,953
Okay, fellas, it's pretty simple.
You do a buttonhook.
389
00:25:10,953 --> 00:25:13,217
The rest of you guys block for me.
I'll take care of the rest.
390
00:25:13,217 --> 00:25:15,626
Okay? On "go". On "go".
391
00:25:15,791 --> 00:25:17,458
Ready? Break!
392
00:25:20,464 --> 00:25:22,107
We'll work on that.
393
00:25:22,169 --> 00:25:25,543
Okay, half speed on this one, guys.
Slow and easy.
394
00:25:25,679 --> 00:25:26,738
Ready?!
395
00:25:27,723 --> 00:25:28,610
Go!
396
00:25:35,895 --> 00:25:37,087
Stop it!
397
00:25:42,526 --> 00:25:46,592
Stop the violence!
Can't we all get along?
398
00:25:55,818 --> 00:25:57,932
- Hey, Paul.
- Unger.
399
00:25:57,932 --> 00:25:59,805
- Team's looking great.
- Oh, yeah.
400
00:25:59,805 --> 00:26:01,781
- So are you.
- Yep. Working on it.
401
00:26:01,781 --> 00:26:06,835
The blood of the guards is gonna flow
like the rivers of ancient Babylon.
402
00:26:06,835 --> 00:26:10,270
That's good news.
Unger, you're the man.
403
00:26:11,685 --> 00:26:15,459
Good job today. You're all startin'
to look really sharp out there. Yeah.
404
00:26:15,459 --> 00:26:16,997
See you tomorrow.
405
00:26:17,364 --> 00:26:19,772
- We're gonna suck.
- Yeah. No doubt about it.
406
00:26:33,913 --> 00:26:35,794
You look like
you could use a little help.
407
00:26:35,794 --> 00:26:40,149
No offense, my man,
but, uh, you're a little... seasoned.
408
00:26:40,149 --> 00:26:41,176
Seasoned?
409
00:26:41,176 --> 00:26:44,824
I'm not asking to play.
I'll coach. I'm Nate Scarborough.
410
00:26:44,824 --> 00:26:46,400
Nate Scarborough?
411
00:26:47,453 --> 00:26:49,836
The Heisman Trophy winner
from Oklahoma?
412
00:26:50,514 --> 00:26:53,482
The inmate
from cellblock D.
413
00:26:53,811 --> 00:26:56,753
But about a hundred years ago,
when I could run and gun,
414
00:26:57,356 --> 00:27:01,099
- yeah, I was a Sooner then.
- I heard you were dead.
415
00:27:01,269 --> 00:27:05,635
No, I ain't dead.
I've been right here, rotting.
416
00:27:05,889 --> 00:27:09,707
Waiting for a chance to get back
at those sadistic guards.
417
00:27:09,716 --> 00:27:12,403
Waiting. For this.
418
00:27:12,403 --> 00:27:13,939
Well, coach,
as you can see,
419
00:27:13,939 --> 00:27:16,483
we don't exactly have the cream
of the crop to work with here.
420
00:27:16,483 --> 00:27:18,754
Well, what are we gonna do?
How are we gonna find players?
421
00:27:18,978 --> 00:27:21,071
How'd they get you
to go to Florida State?
422
00:27:21,901 --> 00:27:23,616
They recruited me.
423
00:27:24,661 --> 00:27:26,552
I'll get the strippers.
424
00:27:29,324 --> 00:27:32,673
Well, now, Lindsay, this isn't
about credit or congratulations.
425
00:27:32,694 --> 00:27:35,703
This is about giving men
who've made mistakes in their lives
426
00:27:35,703 --> 00:27:37,956
an opportunity
to rise above themselves.
427
00:27:37,956 --> 00:27:40,379
To move beyond
the bars of containment.
428
00:27:41,231 --> 00:27:41,707
Say what?
429
00:27:42,916 --> 00:27:45,328
What I would do to you.
430
00:27:48,234 --> 00:27:49,367
Meow!
431
00:27:56,702 --> 00:27:58,773
Yeah.
Nice boot, skin man.
432
00:27:58,773 --> 00:28:01,018
Hey, Crewe, why does he get to be
the kicker? I was All-State, man.
433
00:28:01,018 --> 00:28:02,213
Let's see what you got.
434
00:28:03,162 --> 00:28:04,786
That's why,
you dumb-ass.
435
00:28:05,058 --> 00:28:06,597
Go do some laps.
436
00:28:06,728 --> 00:28:08,427
I heard you boys
needed to see me?
437
00:28:08,427 --> 00:28:10,512
Yeah. I want you
to meet Skitchy.
438
00:28:10,512 --> 00:28:13,307
Hey, dog.
Check that building over there.
439
00:28:13,391 --> 00:28:15,317
They keep all the records
in the basement.
440
00:28:15,317 --> 00:28:17,749
He's been here so long,
he knows where everything is.
441
00:28:17,749 --> 00:28:19,722
That ain't necessarily
a good thing, is it?
442
00:28:19,722 --> 00:28:23,527
I had a parole date in '86.
But I got in a tussle with a guard and, uh...
443
00:28:23,789 --> 00:28:25,352
One punch
and it went away.
444
00:28:25,352 --> 00:28:27,037
Twenty extra years
for one punch?
445
00:28:27,037 --> 00:28:29,429
Well, unfortunately for him,
the guard he punched
446
00:28:29,429 --> 00:28:31,370
just happens to be
the warden now.
447
00:28:31,370 --> 00:28:34,658
- Oh, shit. Warden Hazen?
- "Oh, shit" is right.
448
00:28:36,410 --> 00:28:38,281
Warden, fight in the yard.
Send backup.
449
00:28:39,354 --> 00:28:40,700
Right on time.
450
00:28:40,700 --> 00:28:42,822
- Let's do it.
- Let's do it.
451
00:28:47,343 --> 00:28:49,758
Ain't you guys glad you got
a black man for a friend?
452
00:28:49,758 --> 00:28:51,499
- Hell, yeah.
- Come on.
453
00:28:58,626 --> 00:29:01,135
Hazen has a rating system
for every con.
454
00:29:01,135 --> 00:29:02,629
What's three stars?
455
00:29:02,629 --> 00:29:07,039
The more prone to violence that the
inmate is, the more stars he gets.
456
00:29:07,039 --> 00:29:08,687
Five stars is the max.
457
00:29:08,687 --> 00:29:10,121
- I didn't know that.
- Yeah.
458
00:29:10,121 --> 00:29:12,602
Let's see how many
stars my maniacal ass got.
459
00:29:14,607 --> 00:29:15,602
Wow!
460
00:29:15,691 --> 00:29:19,346
Wha... Ha-ha-half a star? That's gotta be
a mistake. Check it again. Check it again.
461
00:29:19,346 --> 00:29:21,416
You're about as maniacal
as a boxful of kittens.
462
00:29:21,416 --> 00:29:22,490
Come on,
that's not funny, man.
463
00:29:22,490 --> 00:29:25,244
I'm-I'm gonna have to stab somebody
or somethin'. Get my rep up.
464
00:29:25,244 --> 00:29:28,842
Why don't we have a maniacal pillow
fight tonight? That could get it up some.
465
00:29:29,113 --> 00:29:31,434
Yeah. And we can sell it
to pay-per-view.
466
00:29:31,434 --> 00:29:34,009
Superstar versus Half-a-Star.
467
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:37,837
Why don't you shut up before I slit your
throat and watch the dust come out?
468
00:29:37,837 --> 00:29:39,807
Come on, guys,
we only got a couple minutes.
469
00:29:40,256 --> 00:29:41,310
How 'bout this guy?
470
00:29:41,310 --> 00:29:44,142
Damn, this fool got the chair
three times, ain't died yet.
471
00:29:44,142 --> 00:29:46,112
Well, we may not have
the most talented team,
472
00:29:46,112 --> 00:29:49,153
but we will definitely
have the meanest.
473
00:30:22,458 --> 00:30:25,158
- What's he doing that for?
- Cause he's a freak.
474
00:30:25,878 --> 00:30:29,036
Hey, Sasquatch!
Someone's here to see you!
475
00:30:29,036 --> 00:30:31,279
Not too smart on your part.
476
00:30:34,488 --> 00:30:35,500
Hey.
477
00:30:36,748 --> 00:30:38,906
How's the headbanging comin'?
478
00:30:41,070 --> 00:30:43,436
You're bleeding.
Just so you know.
479
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:48,019
People have told me that
you and I look a lot alike,
480
00:30:48,019 --> 00:30:50,208
so I wanted
to see for myself.
481
00:30:52,155 --> 00:30:53,991
I'm gonna take a piss.
482
00:30:54,622 --> 00:30:57,128
You scared him away,
dumbshit.
483
00:31:02,658 --> 00:31:05,541
You're kidding. Five-star Torres
likes The View?
484
00:31:05,737 --> 00:31:06,938
No, just Joy Behar.
485
00:31:06,938 --> 00:31:09,956
The good news is she can
breast-feed standing up. That's it.
486
00:31:12,043 --> 00:31:14,312
Where does she come up
with this shit?
487
00:31:15,561 --> 00:31:18,548
I'm a Star Jones man myself.
I love that big bitch.
488
00:31:18,974 --> 00:31:20,334
That was, like,
the furthest thing.
489
00:31:20,334 --> 00:31:22,716
Well, I-I got married
so young, so, I mean, I...
490
00:31:22,716 --> 00:31:24,821
they weren't pressuring me,
the society was pressuring me...
491
00:31:24,821 --> 00:31:26,316
Mr. Torres.
492
00:31:26,491 --> 00:31:28,918
Us convicts are startin' up
a football team.
493
00:31:28,918 --> 00:31:30,518
Not interested.
494
00:31:30,853 --> 00:31:32,512
We're playing the guards.
495
00:31:33,830 --> 00:31:37,126
- Walk away.
- Good idea.
496
00:31:37,806 --> 00:31:39,031
0 for 2.
497
00:31:40,092 --> 00:31:41,598
You're putting the pressure
on her right now.
498
00:31:41,675 --> 00:31:43,272
Show's over, amigo.
499
00:31:43,399 --> 00:31:46,556
I still got 15 minutes
of Joy Behar.
500
00:31:46,556 --> 00:31:50,744
Well, I'm cuttin' you short.
Back to your cell, asswipe.
501
00:31:51,187 --> 00:31:52,647
Hey, white boy.
502
00:31:54,848 --> 00:31:59,145
- Cherryhead gonna play?
- Yes, he is.
503
00:32:04,984 --> 00:32:06,587
Crewe, don't forget,
I'm gonna be open.
504
00:32:07,023 --> 00:32:08,894
Green 40! Hut!
505
00:32:14,224 --> 00:32:15,335
Damn!
506
00:32:17,226 --> 00:32:19,267
Brucie, Brucie!
You all right? You breathin'?
507
00:32:20,300 --> 00:32:23,482
I got a bird.
His name is Ronnie.
508
00:32:23,482 --> 00:32:26,124
Well, tell Ronnie you got
knocked the fuck out.
509
00:32:29,130 --> 00:32:33,276
Wow, no bullshit. Real football?
Against the guards?
510
00:32:33,276 --> 00:32:34,688
Full contact.
511
00:32:34,722 --> 00:32:36,729
Captain Knauer is
their quarterback?
512
00:32:37,675 --> 00:32:40,410
- Yep.
- So I get to... tackle him?
513
00:32:40,410 --> 00:32:43,831
Yeah. You can, uh, either tackle him or
hit him over the head with that hammer.
514
00:32:44,868 --> 00:32:47,556
I wanna hurt 'im.
Not kill 'im.
515
00:32:47,556 --> 00:32:49,655
Let's get out of here
before that thing bites somebody.
516
00:32:49,655 --> 00:32:52,955
All right. We'll see you
and your pet iguana at practice.
517
00:32:54,217 --> 00:32:55,517
Down, set!
518
00:32:58,762 --> 00:33:00,405
Hut! Hut!
519
00:33:03,723 --> 00:33:04,645
Hey!
520
00:33:05,996 --> 00:33:07,641
- Hit me.
- Get rid of it.
521
00:33:08,235 --> 00:33:09,556
Get rid of it!
522
00:33:11,486 --> 00:33:13,048
He didn't get rid of it.
523
00:33:14,931 --> 00:33:16,515
Sacked your ass.
524
00:33:17,234 --> 00:33:19,445
Somebody's gotta
get open, guys.
525
00:33:19,593 --> 00:33:21,153
You got hammered
by the hammer.
526
00:33:21,153 --> 00:33:24,399
I think I felt it on my leg.
We gotta get some speed, man.
527
00:33:24,399 --> 00:33:26,159
What'd you expect?
You got no brothers out there.
528
00:33:26,159 --> 00:33:27,926
What are you talking about?
We got Switowski.
529
00:33:28,906 --> 00:33:31,186
Switowski?
That's one brother.
530
00:33:31,186 --> 00:33:33,212
That's a lonely nigga.
This ain't hockey.
531
00:33:33,685 --> 00:33:35,984
You want some speed,
you know where to go.
532
00:33:43,888 --> 00:33:46,551
Hey, yo, check out
this fake Slim Shady, man.
533
00:33:47,699 --> 00:33:49,875
I knew
you couldn't resist my shit.
534
00:33:50,053 --> 00:33:52,330
I got the shakes
that'll make you quake.
535
00:33:52,330 --> 00:33:55,038
I got the fries
that'll cross your eyes.
536
00:33:55,038 --> 00:33:56,932
I got the burgers that'll...
537
00:33:59,558 --> 00:34:00,926
I just got burgers.
538
00:34:00,926 --> 00:34:02,475
I'm all right.
Thank you.
539
00:34:02,562 --> 00:34:06,620
Just, uh, wanted to talk to you fellas about
possibly joining the football team.
540
00:34:07,180 --> 00:34:08,835
The only game
we'd play with you...
541
00:34:08,835 --> 00:34:13,729
is Slap the Point-Shaving White Boy
Till He Cries Like a Baby-Back Bitch.
542
00:34:13,866 --> 00:34:17,825
Baby-back bitch, baby-back bitch
Baby-back bitch.
543
00:34:17,825 --> 00:34:20,210
- That's a big-ass robot.
- Yeah.
544
00:34:24,579 --> 00:34:26,188
You gonna
help me out here?
545
00:34:28,604 --> 00:34:30,287
Thank you, Half-a-Star.
546
00:34:30,739 --> 00:34:32,850
Just so you know,
we are playing the guards.
547
00:34:32,850 --> 00:34:35,512
That ain't a team.
That's just a bunch of dumb rednecks
548
00:34:35,512 --> 00:34:37,938
giving themselves excuses
to grab each other.
549
00:34:39,186 --> 00:34:41,489
This guy must be
quite the athlete, huh?
550
00:34:41,767 --> 00:34:45,235
You risk bringing your ass
in the jungle because you know I am.
551
00:34:45,235 --> 00:34:48,457
Yeah, so you'd beat me
in a game of one-on-one, right?
552
00:34:48,529 --> 00:34:51,795
- What?
- I think it's time for you to get steppin'.
553
00:34:51,795 --> 00:34:53,657
How's this, though?
One game.
554
00:34:53,893 --> 00:34:58,508
I beat you, you guys play for the team.
You beat me, I'll leave you alone.
555
00:34:58,959 --> 00:35:01,505
Take that.
Take that, Deac.
556
00:35:01,713 --> 00:35:02,929
This fool ain't nothing
but a thing, baby.
557
00:35:04,067 --> 00:35:06,774
- Ball, dog.
- Ball up!
558
00:35:06,963 --> 00:35:09,711
- Can Crewe play ball?
- He's a natural athlete.
559
00:35:09,711 --> 00:35:12,908
So is Greg Louganis, but I bet you
he'd get his ass whupped out here.
560
00:35:13,215 --> 00:35:16,215
- Game's 11. Call your own fouls.
- Okay.
561
00:35:17,524 --> 00:35:18,994
- Come on, come on.
- Give it to him, Deac!
562
00:35:23,896 --> 00:35:26,618
- Did I get you?
- No, that was clean.
563
00:35:26,873 --> 00:35:28,570
He'll be a'it.
Call his mama.
564
00:35:28,774 --> 00:35:31,192
- If I foul you, tell me, dog.
- Okay, baby.
565
00:35:35,071 --> 00:35:36,577
Take this f... Take this foul.
566
00:35:40,097 --> 00:35:41,952
What happened there?
I think it's my ball, right?
567
00:35:41,952 --> 00:35:42,782
All right.
568
00:35:43,161 --> 00:35:44,770
Get up! Get up, Deac!
569
00:35:45,345 --> 00:35:46,577
Come on, Paul!
570
00:35:46,577 --> 00:35:47,929
- Calm down.
- What?
571
00:35:47,929 --> 00:35:49,838
Now, don't stir-don't stir up
the brothers, now. Come on.
572
00:35:55,010 --> 00:35:55,872
Come on, Deacon!
573
00:36:00,246 --> 00:36:01,415
Did I get you, dog?
574
00:36:01,415 --> 00:36:04,157
Hell, no, baby.
That was clean. Good D.
575
00:36:04,330 --> 00:36:05,715
I thought
he didn't wanna get hurt.
576
00:36:05,951 --> 00:36:08,426
It ain't about getting hurt.
It's about pride.
577
00:36:08,426 --> 00:36:10,571
I bet you he's
pretty proud right now.
578
00:36:44,164 --> 00:36:47,226
It ain't easy being cheesy!
579
00:36:53,916 --> 00:36:55,788
Did I get you? Did I get you?
580
00:36:55,788 --> 00:36:58,273
- No, I think I'm okay, baby.
- I didn't get you, did I?
581
00:37:05,431 --> 00:37:06,957
That's traveling,
bitch.
582
00:37:17,215 --> 00:37:18,584
You keep comin', huh?
583
00:37:19,949 --> 00:37:22,472
Game point, baby.
How you want the game put up?
584
00:37:29,391 --> 00:37:30,362
Foul.
585
00:37:32,144 --> 00:37:34,408
That was a bullshit call!
586
00:37:37,179 --> 00:37:39,403
My court, my ball.
587
00:37:50,140 --> 00:37:52,688
A'it right, y'all.
Let Deac speak!
588
00:37:54,421 --> 00:37:56,348
Nice spanking
that ass, dog.
589
00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:00,029
- Now, get stepping.
- Hold up.
590
00:38:03,809 --> 00:38:07,012
- Y'all got a runnin' back?
- Not any good ones.
591
00:38:07,644 --> 00:38:09,227
No disrespect, Deac...
592
00:38:09,826 --> 00:38:11,826
but any man that can take
that kind of beatin' out here,
593
00:38:12,598 --> 00:38:14,936
I can't wait to see what
he can do in a contact sport.
594
00:38:15,403 --> 00:38:17,061
Shit, I'm in.
595
00:38:18,113 --> 00:38:22,230
Man, gimme that cheeseburger.
You acting like a real McAsshole.
596
00:38:22,230 --> 00:38:25,875
Cheeseburger, he wants to run
with the white boys, we will let 'im.
597
00:38:25,903 --> 00:38:27,209
Let's do this.
598
00:38:28,133 --> 00:38:29,348
Earl Megget.
599
00:38:29,348 --> 00:38:33,504
Well, we didn't get the whole chocolate
bar, but we got a Hershey's Kiss.
600
00:38:33,584 --> 00:38:34,862
I'll take it.
601
00:38:37,009 --> 00:38:39,075
Let's get this over with,
rookie, I'm starvin'.
602
00:38:39,213 --> 00:38:41,645
Fresh meat, boys!
Fresh meat!
603
00:38:42,011 --> 00:38:43,400
Down, set!
604
00:38:43,967 --> 00:38:45,887
Battle, you're a psycho!
605
00:38:46,075 --> 00:38:48,151
Tony, you're a fat shit! Hut!
606
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:57,441
Holy shit!
607
00:39:01,870 --> 00:39:02,937
Get 'im!
608
00:39:10,835 --> 00:39:13,703
Ran right out of your shoes, huh?
Hey, manager, don't you think
609
00:39:13,703 --> 00:39:16,353
we can get our new star running back
a decent pair of cleats?
610
00:39:16,353 --> 00:39:19,820
Yeah. I-I-I think I got a cousin
that drives a truck for Reebok.
611
00:39:19,820 --> 00:39:22,093
It's cool, man.
I never had shoes growing up noway.
612
00:39:22,093 --> 00:39:24,543
- I'll be a'it for now.
- Oh, okay.
613
00:39:24,543 --> 00:39:26,519
Get your country ass
back in the huddle.
614
00:39:26,519 --> 00:39:28,663
That boy got some slave feet,
you see that?
615
00:39:30,324 --> 00:39:32,481
Defense!
Huddle up over there!
616
00:39:32,481 --> 00:39:34,495
Paul. Paul!
617
00:39:34,495 --> 00:39:36,624
Hey, ladies.
How's it hangin'?
618
00:39:36,624 --> 00:39:39,001
- Tell 'im.
- I'm-a say somethin' to 'im.
619
00:39:39,001 --> 00:39:41,660
I just wanted to let you know
I am your biggest fan.
620
00:39:41,660 --> 00:39:45,968
And I will be cheering my jailhouse
boobies off for you at game day.
621
00:39:45,968 --> 00:39:48,384
- I appreciate that. Thank you.
- Paul.
622
00:39:49,736 --> 00:39:51,412
I appreciate you.
623
00:39:52,101 --> 00:39:54,259
Okay, thanks.
I'm glad to know that.
624
00:39:55,465 --> 00:39:57,207
Okay, are you done now? Huh?
625
00:39:57,384 --> 00:40:00,187
What's wrong with you? Jealous
cause I don't cheer for you anymore?
626
00:40:00,187 --> 00:40:02,219
I don't know what
you're talkin' about, freak show.
627
00:40:02,219 --> 00:40:03,814
Whatever, back freckles.
628
00:40:04,672 --> 00:40:06,839
Oh, yeah, back freckles.
She's making up shit now.
629
00:40:06,839 --> 00:40:08,176
I'm gonna get some water.
630
00:40:09,995 --> 00:40:12,174
That feature interview
worked better than I thought.
631
00:40:12,174 --> 00:40:14,603
I just got off the phone
with ESPN2.
632
00:40:14,603 --> 00:40:17,302
They want to televise
the football game.
633
00:40:17,302 --> 00:40:20,879
Guards, cons, Paul Crewe,
it's compelling stuff.
634
00:40:20,879 --> 00:40:24,201
- Lots of human interest. Cha-cha-cha.
- Don't do that in here.
635
00:40:25,925 --> 00:40:27,285
Television.
636
00:40:28,190 --> 00:40:30,795
Dandridge, do you think
that might help my visibility
637
00:40:30,795 --> 00:40:33,005
with the registered voters
of this fine state?
638
00:40:33,005 --> 00:40:34,083
Oh, yeah.
639
00:40:50,328 --> 00:40:51,899
The freak is back!
640
00:41:04,589 --> 00:41:06,255
Hey, hey. It's me again.
641
00:41:08,474 --> 00:41:10,801
You know, if I take this half down,
we could play together.
642
00:41:13,457 --> 00:41:15,616
I'm just gonna
take this half down.
643
00:41:18,571 --> 00:41:21,904
Don't worry. Don't worry.
I got another ball.
644
00:41:22,299 --> 00:41:24,918
It's okay.
You wanna serve?
645
00:41:26,945 --> 00:41:28,141
I'll serve.
646
00:41:33,823 --> 00:41:36,776
Really good news.
We started a football team.
647
00:41:36,776 --> 00:41:38,317
You like football?
648
00:41:38,317 --> 00:41:40,019
It's kinda like ping-pong.
649
00:41:40,019 --> 00:41:43,547
Only the ball's a little bigger
and egg-shaped, like my head.
650
00:41:44,497 --> 00:41:47,304
Just a joke. Stay calm.
651
00:41:47,304 --> 00:41:50,133
Give you a good chance
to... throw people on the ground,
652
00:41:50,133 --> 00:41:54,695
hurt them like... you used to when
you were a kid, 10 feet 6 inches ago.
653
00:41:56,624 --> 00:41:58,682
We'd be playing
the guards.
654
00:42:01,858 --> 00:42:04,545
I think Papajohn's
their safety.
655
00:42:21,408 --> 00:42:24,632
Turley, nobody gets to me.
We'll play more ping-pong later, okay?
656
00:42:27,325 --> 00:42:28,314
Hut!
657
00:42:33,579 --> 00:42:34,768
Effective.
658
00:42:35,390 --> 00:42:38,256
- All right.
- He brokeded my nose.
659
00:42:41,602 --> 00:42:43,163
I don't wanna play
no more.
660
00:42:43,163 --> 00:42:45,263
Hey, hey, hey. Switowski,
what are you talking about?
661
00:42:45,263 --> 00:42:47,019
This is football. Shit happens.
662
00:42:47,286 --> 00:42:50,019
Paul, he brokeded my nose.
663
00:42:50,019 --> 00:42:51,543
Okay. Stop cryin'.
664
00:42:52,159 --> 00:42:54,869
All right. We can fix this.
Here we go.
665
00:42:56,359 --> 00:42:57,973
Okay. Good, good.
666
00:42:59,034 --> 00:43:00,288
How's it look?
667
00:43:00,288 --> 00:43:03,771
How's it look? It looks... It looks like, uh...
It looks better than before.
668
00:43:04,370 --> 00:43:06,772
- Really?
- Yeah, it's straighter.
669
00:43:06,772 --> 00:43:09,722
More distinguished.
Kinda like a young Michael Jackson.
670
00:43:09,722 --> 00:43:11,860
I love little Michael.
671
00:43:12,227 --> 00:43:13,915
That's great. That's great.
672
00:43:15,079 --> 00:43:16,958
I think
he did it on purpose.
673
00:43:16,958 --> 00:43:18,429
No, he didn't.
674
00:43:20,749 --> 00:43:22,395
Okay, maybe he did.
675
00:43:22,395 --> 00:43:24,737
You gotta apologize to 'im.
Come on, Turley.
676
00:43:26,762 --> 00:43:28,286
Say you're sorry.
677
00:43:30,070 --> 00:43:32,032
Come on, say it.
678
00:43:35,224 --> 00:43:38,842
He said he's sorry.
I got him to say he's sorry.
679
00:43:38,842 --> 00:43:41,105
Yeah, yeah.
We're all impressed.
680
00:43:43,155 --> 00:43:45,373
Looking good, gentlemen.
Way to work hard.
681
00:43:45,393 --> 00:43:47,692
Good practice, Paul!
Me and the girls wanna show you
682
00:43:47,692 --> 00:43:49,525
- what we've been practising.
- Okay, hit me.
683
00:43:49,566 --> 00:43:50,099
- What we've been practicing.
- Okay, hit me.
684
00:43:50,713 --> 00:43:52,992
Come on, let's go.
One, two, three.
685
00:43:54,161 --> 00:43:56,253
Give... me... a...
686
00:43:56,253 --> 00:43:59,572
D, D, give me a I
I, I, give me a C
687
00:43:59,572 --> 00:44:00,881
C, give me a...
688
00:44:00,881 --> 00:44:04,152
All right, all right! I got it.
Just save it for the game.
689
00:44:04,152 --> 00:44:05,975
Don't act like you ain't
wanna see more, Brucie!
690
00:44:05,975 --> 00:44:08,232
- Yeah, you wish, pal.
- No, you wish I'd kiss you again,
691
00:44:08,232 --> 00:44:10,569
cause your breath
smell like eight cans of shark shit.
692
00:44:11,515 --> 00:44:13,006
I wouldn't touch her
with a 10-foot pole.
693
00:44:13,006 --> 00:44:14,806
- What's he talking about?
- He's a freak.
694
00:44:27,980 --> 00:44:29,793
Run, Forrest, run!
695
00:44:34,356 --> 00:44:36,503
That's how a white man
plays guitar.
696
00:44:40,220 --> 00:44:42,301
Captain, he said
he had some info.
697
00:44:42,301 --> 00:44:45,687
You guys have "Halo 2."
I didn't even think that was out yet.
698
00:44:46,441 --> 00:44:48,319
Focus.
Turn the music off!
699
00:44:48,319 --> 00:44:50,432
Yeah, captain.
You know them convicts?
700
00:44:50,432 --> 00:44:52,330
They're startin' to get
some serious players.
701
00:44:52,330 --> 00:44:55,662
But their biggest threat?
A running back. Megget.
702
00:44:55,662 --> 00:44:58,213
- He's good?
- He's fast.
703
00:44:58,213 --> 00:45:00,528
He's really, really fast.
704
00:45:00,528 --> 00:45:04,521
I mean, he's so fast,
he makes fast people look not fast.
705
00:45:04,521 --> 00:45:05,809
I got it, he's fast.
706
00:45:06,070 --> 00:45:09,154
Now, why don't you show us your speed
and get your pyro ass out of here.
707
00:45:09,830 --> 00:45:12,673
Yes, sir.
Here I go. I'm sorry.
708
00:45:24,284 --> 00:45:27,766
Any books
you'd recommend, inmate?
709
00:45:29,119 --> 00:45:30,382
No, sir.
710
00:45:32,039 --> 00:45:33,536
Not much of a reader.
711
00:45:33,757 --> 00:45:38,194
Oh, come on, now, maggot.
I've seen you in here reading before.
712
00:45:38,325 --> 00:45:40,779
You requested this detail.
Isn't that right?
713
00:45:44,037 --> 00:45:46,900
Nah. It's the quiet time
I like, sir.
714
00:45:47,926 --> 00:45:49,931
Maybe you'd like
to read this.
715
00:45:51,268 --> 00:45:53,594
What the hell kind of bullshit
book is that?
716
00:45:53,594 --> 00:45:55,854
It's historical. Sir.
717
00:45:55,854 --> 00:45:59,036
Now, why would he wanna read
a book about a four-eyed nigger?
718
00:46:02,881 --> 00:46:06,636
Does the N word
offend you... nigger?
719
00:46:07,782 --> 00:46:09,138
No, sir.
720
00:46:15,195 --> 00:46:17,462
Oops. Sorry about that.
721
00:46:18,181 --> 00:46:21,015
You mind fetching
these books for me, boy?
722
00:46:23,726 --> 00:46:25,027
No, sir.
723
00:46:25,059 --> 00:46:27,142
Just pick 'em up.
Put 'em on the table.
724
00:46:30,549 --> 00:46:31,852
There you go.
725
00:46:37,245 --> 00:46:39,365
You forgot one.
726
00:46:45,468 --> 00:46:47,406
Bet you'd like
to hit us, huh?
727
00:46:48,138 --> 00:46:50,637
Hit you, sir? Nah.
728
00:46:53,022 --> 00:46:54,719
Y'all my friends.
729
00:46:58,964 --> 00:47:00,420
Pick these up.
730
00:47:20,553 --> 00:47:21,440
Go!
731
00:47:22,771 --> 00:47:24,299
Hit me! I'm open!
I'm open!
732
00:47:28,655 --> 00:47:31,327
Come on! We got one week
before we play that game.
733
00:47:31,327 --> 00:47:32,678
We can't complete a pass yet.
734
00:47:32,678 --> 00:47:35,237
- Megget can't run the ball every play.
- I know, coach.
735
00:47:36,614 --> 00:47:38,354
What the hell
is he smiling at?
736
00:47:53,616 --> 00:47:55,475
This better be
on the up and up.
737
00:47:56,308 --> 00:47:59,033
- I guarantee it.
- Let's do this shit.
738
00:47:59,247 --> 00:48:01,012
There goes
the neighborhood.
739
00:48:06,536 --> 00:48:08,129
Now I'll never
get to play.
740
00:48:32,949 --> 00:48:36,462
Did you see that? Did you see that?
The Deac is here!
741
00:48:36,462 --> 00:48:37,691
Nice.
742
00:48:38,204 --> 00:48:39,789
Okay, we seal off here,
seal off here.
743
00:48:39,789 --> 00:48:40,732
- Cheeseburger.
- Yeah.
744
00:48:40,732 --> 00:48:42,944
You're just gonna
chip this guy...
745
00:48:59,898 --> 00:49:01,084
Ow, that stings.
746
00:49:01,084 --> 00:49:03,090
Nothing a Quarter Pounder
can't fix.
747
00:49:06,385 --> 00:49:07,157
Oh, with cheese on it?
748
00:49:07,157 --> 00:49:08,210
Hut!
749
00:49:32,570 --> 00:49:34,955
Man, that boy would catch a cold
in the desert. Here you go.
750
00:49:34,955 --> 00:49:36,908
- Everything's looking up.
- Yeah.
751
00:49:37,625 --> 00:49:40,123
Still got one more
pain in the ass to deal with.
752
00:49:49,891 --> 00:49:52,046
All right, boys, what do you say?
How about a little best ball?
753
00:49:52,046 --> 00:49:55,172
No, I hate that bullshit.
Everyone play their own damn ball.
754
00:49:55,352 --> 00:49:57,046
Shit, is that Paul Crewe?
755
00:49:57,046 --> 00:50:01,001
How do you like that, boys?
The MVP coming to kiss my ass.
756
00:50:01,428 --> 00:50:03,630
So, uh,
what's on your mind, Paul?
757
00:50:03,630 --> 00:50:05,702
Got a problem
with inmate Unger.
758
00:50:05,702 --> 00:50:09,743
- Oh? Is he on your little squad?
- I believe he's on your little squad.
759
00:50:09,929 --> 00:50:13,453
Mr. Crewe, would you mind
if we had a picture? Please?
760
00:50:13,489 --> 00:50:15,232
That's up to the warden.
761
00:50:15,422 --> 00:50:17,905
- Ah, damn it. All right.
- Rewound it. Did everything.
762
00:50:17,905 --> 00:50:20,306
- Flash is ready.
- You don't need a flash. It's daylight.
763
00:50:20,306 --> 00:50:22,660
Oh, my bad.
I just want a good picture.
764
00:50:22,934 --> 00:50:26,078
You know, I think you had sex
with my wife before I married her.
765
00:50:27,020 --> 00:50:29,080
- Sorry about that.
- Oh, hell, no.
766
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:32,193
If she's hot enough to have
a one-nighter with a pro football player,
767
00:50:32,193 --> 00:50:33,921
I must be doing all right.
768
00:50:34,252 --> 00:50:35,887
Okay, here we go.
769
00:50:36,494 --> 00:50:38,909
- Sergeant Engleheart?
- Yes, warden.
770
00:50:38,909 --> 00:50:40,894
Would you step out
of the picture, please?
771
00:50:41,110 --> 00:50:42,299
Yes, sir.
772
00:50:44,726 --> 00:50:46,928
- His wife has got the hottest ass.
- Great.
773
00:50:47,305 --> 00:50:48,880
Just cut to the chase,
shall we?
774
00:50:49,070 --> 00:50:51,677
You don't actually think you have
a chance of winning, now, do you?
775
00:50:52,022 --> 00:50:53,839
We're gonna get
our asses handed to us.
776
00:50:53,839 --> 00:50:57,835
I know it. You know it.
I just don't want my players to know it.
777
00:50:58,040 --> 00:50:59,336
Your players?
778
00:51:01,138 --> 00:51:03,820
Just when I thought
I had you all figured out.
779
00:51:03,820 --> 00:51:06,148
- What does that mean?
- In the time you've been here,
780
00:51:06,148 --> 00:51:08,102
you haven't made or received
one telephone call.
781
00:51:08,102 --> 00:51:10,558
You haven't opened so much
as a single shred of mail.
782
00:51:10,558 --> 00:51:12,788
Why do you give a damn
about those slimeballs?
783
00:51:12,788 --> 00:51:15,281
You never cared about
anybody in your entire life.
784
00:51:15,748 --> 00:51:18,129
Well, maybe I finally found
that sense of family
785
00:51:18,129 --> 00:51:20,478
I been yearning for
since I'm a baby.
786
00:51:20,478 --> 00:51:21,590
And gosh almighty,
787
00:51:21,590 --> 00:51:23,634
my new family and I
would sure appreciate it
788
00:51:23,634 --> 00:51:26,362
if you got Unger off the field.
You hear?
789
00:51:27,343 --> 00:51:30,211
- Sergeant Engleheart.
- Thank you.
790
00:51:30,827 --> 00:51:32,283
Oh, and as for
your request...
791
00:51:34,209 --> 00:51:36,880
you'll have my answer
soon enough.
792
00:51:49,144 --> 00:51:51,084
Did it rain last night?
793
00:51:51,084 --> 00:51:52,448
Not a drop.
794
00:51:56,791 --> 00:52:00,008
Son of a bitch.
All right, boys.
795
00:52:03,775 --> 00:52:06,899
The warden is tryin'
to break our spirit.
796
00:52:07,514 --> 00:52:09,458
He thinks we're gonna
skip practice today,
797
00:52:09,458 --> 00:52:12,263
wait for the field to dry,
make it up tomorrow...
798
00:52:12,263 --> 00:52:13,697
You know what?
Who gives a shit?
799
00:52:13,697 --> 00:52:16,511
Three days till game time.
We can handle it.
800
00:52:16,511 --> 00:52:18,009
But let me say this:
801
00:52:19,009 --> 00:52:22,497
That old man flooding this field
tells me somethin'.
802
00:52:23,563 --> 00:52:26,306
The guy is scared.
803
00:52:26,324 --> 00:52:30,749
Scared of you sick,
degenerate convicts.
804
00:52:30,749 --> 00:52:32,353
And you know what?
805
00:52:33,706 --> 00:52:35,002
He should be.
806
00:52:35,293 --> 00:52:37,536
Cause I got news
for you guys.
807
00:52:37,564 --> 00:52:39,259
We're gonna win
this thing.
808
00:52:40,184 --> 00:52:41,677
Did he say "win"?
809
00:52:42,104 --> 00:52:43,990
What's it gonna be,
boys?
810
00:52:45,301 --> 00:52:48,305
Do we go back to our cells,
call it a day?
811
00:52:48,723 --> 00:52:52,802
Or do we get ourselves ready
for the greatest ass-kicking fiesta
812
00:52:53,597 --> 00:52:56,071
in the history of football?
813
00:52:56,475 --> 00:52:58,750
I'll leave it
up to you guys.
814
00:53:17,586 --> 00:53:20,818
Hey. You're part
of the goddamn team.
815
00:53:20,818 --> 00:53:23,483
Get your point-shaving ass
in there.
816
00:53:24,027 --> 00:53:25,328
You got it.
817
00:54:09,629 --> 00:54:12,430
I guess that asshole Hazen
wants to play dirty.
818
00:54:12,610 --> 00:54:14,952
- We all convicts, right?
- Right.
819
00:54:15,654 --> 00:54:18,012
Maybe it's time
we started acting like it.
820
00:54:19,153 --> 00:54:20,379
Right here. Right here.
821
00:54:22,645 --> 00:54:23,714
Take it, Deac.
822
00:54:23,912 --> 00:54:26,665
Let's see which guards
have some broken bones.
823
00:54:45,563 --> 00:54:46,629
Yeah!
824
00:55:22,585 --> 00:55:23,873
Shoes, nigga!
825
00:55:34,314 --> 00:55:38,439
Check this out. These be brass
knuckles. They damn near old as me.
826
00:55:38,439 --> 00:55:39,269
Hut!
827
00:55:40,047 --> 00:55:43,124
That's perfect, Cheeseburger!
Never been better.
828
00:55:53,084 --> 00:55:54,438
Good ball. Good ball.
829
00:55:58,039 --> 00:55:59,162
Okay.
830
00:56:02,088 --> 00:56:03,969
- Who we gonna crush?
- The guards!
831
00:56:03,969 --> 00:56:05,823
- Who we gonna kill?
- The guards!
832
00:56:05,823 --> 00:56:07,951
- Who we gonna kiss?
- The guards!
833
00:56:08,307 --> 00:56:09,265
Gotcha.
834
00:56:18,899 --> 00:56:20,042
Lights out!
835
00:56:21,804 --> 00:56:23,341
Good night, ladies.
836
00:56:28,544 --> 00:56:31,202
- Yo, Crewe!
- Yes, Mr. Caretaker.
837
00:56:31,202 --> 00:56:34,752
Check your toilet. There should be
a little surprise in there for you.
838
00:56:34,752 --> 00:56:36,361
You took a shit
in my toilet?
839
00:56:36,403 --> 00:56:39,001
No, that's the surprise
I left in Brucie's toilet.
840
00:56:39,255 --> 00:56:41,436
- You got somethin' else.
- All right.
841
00:56:42,449 --> 00:56:44,185
Well, would you look at this.
842
00:56:44,185 --> 00:56:48,043
A bottle of Ketel One
and two glasses?
843
00:56:48,043 --> 00:56:49,553
Now, what
would I need two for?
844
00:56:49,553 --> 00:56:51,696
Just shut up
and pour me a drink, bitch.
845
00:56:51,696 --> 00:56:56,247
- Man... who taught you to be so cool?
- My mama.
846
00:56:56,247 --> 00:57:00,369
Now, when I get out of here, I don't
want you to get all Hollywood on us.
847
00:57:00,369 --> 00:57:01,947
I want you to meet 'er.
848
00:57:01,947 --> 00:57:05,046
Here, look at my girl.
She's your biggest fan.
849
00:57:06,813 --> 00:57:08,779
Your mom's beautiful.
850
00:57:09,533 --> 00:57:12,233
- And you, you are ugly.
- Thank you.
851
00:57:12,233 --> 00:57:13,590
Got it.
852
00:57:14,693 --> 00:57:16,531
Here's to, uh...
853
00:57:17,586 --> 00:57:20,408
the first friend I've had
in I don't know how long.
854
00:57:20,408 --> 00:57:22,801
Hey, I thought
I was your friend, Paul.
855
00:57:22,801 --> 00:57:27,097
You are, Switowski. Just... finish your
coloring book and go back to sleep.
856
00:57:27,097 --> 00:57:28,361
Okay.
857
00:57:28,361 --> 00:57:30,734
And here's to having one o' these
with you on the outside,
858
00:57:30,734 --> 00:57:33,382
sometime in the next
three to five years.
859
00:57:33,383 --> 00:57:34,710
Lachaim.
860
00:57:35,071 --> 00:57:37,097
- Yo, Crewe.
- Yes, sir.
861
00:57:37,097 --> 00:57:39,253
You being a ex-football player
and all,
862
00:57:39,253 --> 00:57:41,812
I'm sure you got a lot
of hot ass on the outside.
863
00:57:41,812 --> 00:57:44,688
Well, let's not forget I wasn't
the most popular guy out there.
864
00:57:44,688 --> 00:57:45,546
Don't give me that shit.
865
00:57:45,546 --> 00:57:48,204
O.J. chopped his wife's head off
and still got some ass.
866
00:57:49,133 --> 00:57:50,346
Yeah.
867
00:57:50,618 --> 00:57:53,452
My mama taught me not to kiss
and tell. Now, go to sleep.
868
00:57:53,452 --> 00:57:55,661
A'it. I got one more question
to ask you.
869
00:57:55,661 --> 00:57:57,294
Okay. What is it?
870
00:58:00,008 --> 00:58:01,673
Why'd you shave
those points?
871
00:58:04,496 --> 00:58:07,477
Didn't you read the papers?
I'm innocent.
872
00:58:07,477 --> 00:58:09,939
Yeah. Ain't we all?
873
00:58:12,317 --> 00:58:14,002
Yo, Crewe,
what would you say
874
00:58:14,002 --> 00:58:17,232
if I could get you film
from the guards' games last year?
875
00:58:17,232 --> 00:58:19,617
I would say that's incredible,
but how?
876
00:58:20,104 --> 00:58:21,736
Thanks, gentlemen.
877
00:58:21,736 --> 00:58:25,145
The warden will be done with him
in 15 minutes.
878
00:58:26,133 --> 00:58:28,830
- We can handle him.
- Yes, ma'am.
879
00:58:28,830 --> 00:58:30,554
Then you're gonna, ma'am.
880
00:58:35,102 --> 00:58:36,104
Nice job.
881
00:58:38,968 --> 00:58:42,596
I can't tell you how much this means
to me. Thank you, Lynette.
882
00:58:42,596 --> 00:58:44,854
Now Nate can study
all the guards' formations.
883
00:58:44,854 --> 00:58:47,989
Not so fast, sugar bear.
884
00:58:47,989 --> 00:58:49,978
You gotta earn 'em.
885
00:58:59,155 --> 00:59:00,895
We only got 15 minutes,
886
00:59:00,895 --> 00:59:04,914
but, sunshine, we're gonna
make 'em all count.
887
00:59:17,287 --> 00:59:19,402
- One more, please?
- Mm-hmm.
888
00:59:27,241 --> 00:59:28,390
Let's go.
889
00:59:36,004 --> 00:59:37,582
- Quiet down. Guys.
- Let's go.
890
00:59:37,582 --> 00:59:40,711
Before we watch the guards'
game film from last season,
891
00:59:40,711 --> 00:59:45,770
we have a special presentation
from our very own Mr. Paul Crewe.
892
00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:48,113
What are you
talking about?
893
00:59:50,304 --> 00:59:51,057
What's going on?
894
00:59:55,424 --> 00:59:57,802
Now I gotta
relive this shit?
895
01:00:13,060 --> 01:00:14,350
Yeah!
896
01:00:17,636 --> 01:00:20,210
You can say this,
my man's a team player!
897
01:00:22,362 --> 01:00:25,984
You know what they say. Once
you go gray, there ain't no other way!
898
01:00:26,646 --> 01:00:29,882
Hey, hey, hey. Brucie! Brucie!
I'm glad you think that's funny,
899
01:00:29,882 --> 01:00:31,691
because I got something
pretty funny to show you guys.
900
01:00:31,691 --> 01:00:33,665
Tony, hit it.
You're gonna like this.
901
01:00:41,341 --> 01:00:44,039
- What the hell is this?
- What? It's good. It keeps goin'.
902
01:00:44,678 --> 01:00:46,698
- Hi.
- Here I am.
903
01:00:47,208 --> 01:00:48,860
Turn this shit off.
Turn it off.
904
01:00:49,351 --> 01:00:50,218
No!
905
01:00:56,322 --> 01:00:58,709
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very funny.
Trick photography.
906
01:01:07,152 --> 01:01:08,920
Nothing happened.
Nothing happened. Nothing happened.
907
01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:10,869
I was showing a little
wrestling move. That's all.
908
01:01:11,013 --> 01:01:12,098
Knock it off!
909
01:01:12,491 --> 01:01:13,702
Knock it off!
910
01:01:14,438 --> 01:01:16,712
It's time we took a look
at what we came here to see
911
01:01:16,712 --> 01:01:18,490
before the guards come back.
912
01:01:19,940 --> 01:01:23,006
The first film is the guards' offense
against Texas Southern.
913
01:01:23,006 --> 01:01:26,249
Now, as you can see,
they're running a standard wishbone.
914
01:01:33,232 --> 01:01:36,056
So you're telling me that these animals
are watching our game films.
915
01:01:36,056 --> 01:01:37,907
- Is that right?
- Yes, sir, boss.
916
01:01:37,907 --> 01:01:39,599
They got all last season.
917
01:01:40,143 --> 01:01:42,985
Seems to me that we ought
to do something about this.
918
01:01:42,985 --> 01:01:44,527
W-w-what do you
want me to do?
919
01:01:44,527 --> 01:01:47,037
You're the criminal.
Be creative.
920
01:01:47,037 --> 01:01:49,452
But on game day,
if I so much as...
921
01:01:52,810 --> 01:01:54,058
What are you doin'?
922
01:01:55,664 --> 01:01:58,084
I don't know.
I've had hot flashes all shift,
923
01:01:58,084 --> 01:02:00,744
and... now my nipples
are killin' me.
924
01:02:00,996 --> 01:02:03,245
Why are we talking about
your nipples?
925
01:02:03,245 --> 01:02:05,844
We're-we're not. Just go do
what you're doin' there.
926
01:02:05,844 --> 01:02:06,791
Guys.
927
01:02:08,368 --> 01:02:11,316
I want Crewe finished.
928
01:02:11,316 --> 01:02:14,712
Yes, sir. You give me the inspiration,
sir. I got somethin' for 'im.
929
01:02:16,404 --> 01:02:17,458
Hut!
930
01:02:23,309 --> 01:02:24,246
Everybody!
931
01:02:26,140 --> 01:02:27,303
Huddle up!
932
01:02:31,089 --> 01:02:35,661
Every day we've been taking shit,
for a long time.
933
01:02:36,269 --> 01:02:41,330
Tomorrow, payback.
Now, think about that for a second.
934
01:03:24,284 --> 01:03:26,227
- What time is it?
- Game time!
935
01:03:26,227 --> 01:03:27,857
- What time is it?
- Game time!
936
01:03:27,857 --> 01:03:32,345
- What time is it?
- Game time!
937
01:03:34,659 --> 01:03:38,768
Tomorrow, 12 o'clock,
the bus leaves. Don't be late!
938
01:03:39,456 --> 01:03:41,119
Where the hell
is Caretaker?
939
01:03:43,032 --> 01:03:44,390
I don't know.
940
01:04:11,482 --> 01:04:13,764
A gift for you, Mr. Crewe.
941
01:04:15,766 --> 01:04:18,424
How does he listen
to that cracker shit?
942
01:06:41,086 --> 01:06:42,723
We're here deep in the heart
of toothless country,
943
01:06:42,723 --> 01:06:45,617
coming to you from a simple
Texas high school stadium
944
01:06:45,617 --> 01:06:47,792
that's been retrofitted
for the big event.
945
01:06:47,792 --> 01:06:50,324
Now, when my man Travis
tried to drag me out here, I said
946
01:06:50,324 --> 01:06:52,587
"What are you, brain-dead from
talking to too many Raider fans?
947
01:06:52,587 --> 01:06:54,017
It's not going to work."
948
01:06:54,017 --> 01:06:57,237
But the fact of the matter is,
this could shape up as an epic day.
949
01:06:57,237 --> 01:07:00,331
Hot-dog vendors, high-powered rifles,
I love the combination.
950
01:07:00,331 --> 01:07:02,561
And apparently
so do the fans.
951
01:07:05,911 --> 01:07:08,141
Hey, shitheads!
Listen up!
952
01:07:08,141 --> 01:07:10,118
Everybody on their feet
for the warden.
953
01:07:13,969 --> 01:07:16,600
Anthony, wow.
You can sit down.
954
01:07:17,222 --> 01:07:18,779
Thank God.
955
01:07:20,387 --> 01:07:23,378
Gentlemen, Texas marshals
have been kind enough
956
01:07:23,378 --> 01:07:26,245
to supply us with a dozen
of their finest sharpshooters.
957
01:07:27,236 --> 01:07:29,710
So for those of you thinking
of mingling with the civilians
958
01:07:30,528 --> 01:07:32,417
or trying to make
a break for it,
959
01:07:32,417 --> 01:07:34,121
you will be shot.
960
01:07:35,576 --> 01:07:37,176
In the head.
961
01:07:40,297 --> 01:07:43,333
Now, let's all go out there
and have some fun!
962
01:07:46,218 --> 01:07:48,870
Crewe!
I'll see you on the field!
963
01:07:51,688 --> 01:07:53,454
I think he's
in love with you.
964
01:07:54,153 --> 01:07:55,972
All right, listen up.
965
01:07:56,003 --> 01:08:00,280
I know it's hard to get psyched for
the game without Caretaker being here.
966
01:08:00,743 --> 01:08:03,525
But somehow that sick,
skinny bastard
967
01:08:03,525 --> 01:08:07,386
found a way to get us all fired up
from beyond the grave.
968
01:08:08,422 --> 01:08:10,918
Caretaker's last gift to us.
969
01:08:10,950 --> 01:08:13,646
Battle, I presume
this is yours.
970
01:08:15,481 --> 01:08:17,317
I still don't think
that's big enough.
971
01:08:19,639 --> 01:08:21,997
- That's it?
- No, that ain't it.
972
01:08:22,331 --> 01:08:25,436
Caretaker said he'd find us
some gear to wear.
973
01:08:28,790 --> 01:08:31,443
I think he found us
a name too.
974
01:08:36,304 --> 01:08:38,649
Mean Machine! Mean Machine!
Mean Machine! Mean Machine!
975
01:08:51,017 --> 01:08:55,349
Good afternoon and welcome to a
very special edition of ESPN football.
976
01:08:55,349 --> 01:08:58,356
As today, the semipro
Allenville Federal Prison guards
977
01:08:58,356 --> 01:09:01,434
will be taking on
the very prisoners they guard.
978
01:09:01,434 --> 01:09:04,638
And with this special game, folks,
comes a special broadcast,
979
01:09:04,638 --> 01:09:08,379
as I'm joined in the booth
by Baby Face Bob.
980
01:09:08,379 --> 01:09:10,226
Say hi to the folks, Bob-O.
981
01:09:11,587 --> 01:09:13,103
Chris, we went to a commercial.
982
01:09:13,255 --> 01:09:16,459
This, uh, this job, Bob,
it's a lot of give and take.
983
01:09:16,479 --> 01:09:19,451
So when I bring you in,
don't be afraid to talk to the folks.
984
01:09:21,337 --> 01:09:23,378
Unless you don't want to.
985
01:09:26,785 --> 01:09:28,486
And here come the cons,
986
01:09:28,486 --> 01:09:32,353
led by former NFL MVP quarterback,
Paul Crewe.
987
01:09:37,328 --> 01:09:40,081
Holy shit.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
988
01:09:40,081 --> 01:09:41,474
Well, hello. How are you?
989
01:09:41,474 --> 01:09:43,002
Back away from the girls!
990
01:09:43,386 --> 01:09:44,865
- Hey, now.
- Call me!
991
01:09:47,068 --> 01:09:48,765
What the hell
are you dressed up for?
992
01:09:48,765 --> 01:09:52,510
Hey, I didn't spend 14 years
in the joint just to watch this game.
993
01:09:52,603 --> 01:09:54,620
And there in the
high-security bleachers
994
01:09:54,620 --> 01:09:57,653
are the good-behavior cons,
along with their...
995
01:09:57,873 --> 01:09:59,546
cheerleaders?
996
01:10:00,004 --> 01:10:02,357
We're the mean machine
Don't mean to dis you
997
01:10:02,357 --> 01:10:04,400
We're gonna kick your ass
And then we'll kiss you
998
01:10:04,982 --> 01:10:07,806
Hey! Ho!
What?
999
01:10:10,505 --> 01:10:12,625
I didn't do it!
1000
01:10:23,532 --> 01:10:24,520
Come on, Batt!
1001
01:10:38,754 --> 01:10:40,060
- What's that?
- Did you see that?
1002
01:10:44,595 --> 01:10:45,518
Damn it!
1003
01:10:46,905 --> 01:10:50,591
Papajohn's at the 20, the 10.
And he will score.
1004
01:10:54,269 --> 01:10:56,323
Sweet dreams, bitch.
1005
01:10:56,877 --> 01:10:58,828
That's a 90-yard return
1006
01:10:58,828 --> 01:11:02,330
and I gotta tell you, the cons seem
more interested in hitting the guards
1007
01:11:02,330 --> 01:11:04,250
than tackling the ball carrier.
1008
01:11:04,540 --> 01:11:08,967
Hey, mom. Hey, dad.
Thanks for picking me up from school.
1009
01:11:10,197 --> 01:11:12,583
And here comes the big story
of the day.
1010
01:11:12,583 --> 01:11:15,048
Paul Crewe,
serving a three-year sentence,
1011
01:11:15,048 --> 01:11:18,631
hasn't played since he was banned
from the NFL six years ago.
1012
01:11:18,631 --> 01:11:20,789
Center, shift it!
Shift it!
1013
01:11:25,388 --> 01:11:26,719
Hey, Sasquatch!
1014
01:11:30,383 --> 01:11:31,120
Twenty, hut!
1015
01:11:31,120 --> 01:11:34,808
Crewe drops back to pass.
Turley's leaving him unprotected.
1016
01:11:35,525 --> 01:11:36,730
Fumble!
1017
01:11:43,319 --> 01:11:44,535
Goddamn it.
1018
01:11:44,535 --> 01:11:47,299
That's gonna be a personal foul
on the big guy.
1019
01:11:47,299 --> 01:11:50,148
And this is certainly inauspicious
start for the cons.
1020
01:11:50,148 --> 01:11:53,427
Come here! All right! You got 'im.
Now, protect me!
1021
01:11:53,760 --> 01:11:55,876
Let's go! Hold them!
1022
01:11:56,862 --> 01:12:01,102
And here comes Knauer and that
big offensive unit for the guards.
1023
01:12:06,723 --> 01:12:08,217
Back to your cell.
1024
01:12:09,694 --> 01:12:10,781
Hut! Hut!
1025
01:12:15,563 --> 01:12:19,160
Knauer has Potter wide open.
Touchdown, guards.
1026
01:12:20,736 --> 01:12:23,015
- Son of a bitch!
- And in the first 90 seconds,
1027
01:12:23,015 --> 01:12:25,310
the guards are up
by two touchdowns.
1028
01:12:25,310 --> 01:12:28,280
This one looks like
it could be over early.
1029
01:12:28,833 --> 01:12:29,877
Sorry.
1030
01:12:30,085 --> 01:12:33,018
What are we celebratin' for?!
It's 14-nothin'!
1031
01:12:33,018 --> 01:12:36,887
You guys wanna beat these assholes,
do it on the scoreboard!
1032
01:12:37,209 --> 01:12:40,840
Are you okay? Oh, God,
you're not hurt, are you?
1033
01:12:41,017 --> 01:12:42,757
Jesus, you sound
like my mother.
1034
01:12:42,757 --> 01:12:47,296
Listen, if you wanna cry,
you go ahead and cry. I'll cry with you.
1035
01:12:47,296 --> 01:12:50,250
Get off me! Get back out there
and kick some ass!
1036
01:12:50,250 --> 01:12:53,332
Why are you yelling at me?
All I did was care!
1037
01:12:54,996 --> 01:12:58,572
Look!
A broken leg will heal.
1038
01:12:58,823 --> 01:13:01,926
A loss to the Mean Machine
lasts forever.
1039
01:13:04,059 --> 01:13:05,465
Sorry, guys.
1040
01:13:05,474 --> 01:13:06,950
Yeah, yeah. Me too.
1041
01:13:08,431 --> 01:13:10,973
All right.
Now, let's get started!
1042
01:13:13,979 --> 01:13:15,629
Now, get the hell
out there! Let's go!
1043
01:13:28,522 --> 01:13:29,585
Way to go! Way to go!
1044
01:13:29,585 --> 01:13:32,511
Here's the first sign of life
from the cons.
1045
01:13:32,531 --> 01:13:36,500
Let's see if Paul "Motley" Crewe
can make something happen.
1046
01:13:36,500 --> 01:13:37,426
Hut!
1047
01:13:37,985 --> 01:13:41,538
On first down, Crewe will throw.
He's got Deacon wide open.
1048
01:13:43,198 --> 01:13:45,374
That's gotta be
pass interference.
1049
01:13:45,374 --> 01:13:47,538
But the ref is waving it off.
1050
01:13:47,538 --> 01:13:49,775
- What?!
- Oh, come on!
1051
01:13:49,775 --> 01:13:52,140
Come on, now. I'm in this hellhole
for less than that.
1052
01:13:52,140 --> 01:13:54,666
- Be a man and make a call.
- You're right.
1053
01:13:55,258 --> 01:13:57,847
Unsportsmanlike conduct!
Eighty-eight black!
1054
01:13:57,847 --> 01:13:58,627
What?!
1055
01:13:59,801 --> 01:14:00,811
Come on!
1056
01:14:02,785 --> 01:14:04,488
This is baby-back bullshit!
1057
01:14:04,488 --> 01:14:06,457
- Bullshit, D.
- Calm down. Let it go.
1058
01:14:06,520 --> 01:14:09,705
Let's call that one
a questionable call.
1059
01:14:09,705 --> 01:14:11,733
Blue 42, hut!
1060
01:14:13,298 --> 01:14:17,144
The give is to Megget. He spins
to the outside. Megget has room.
1061
01:14:18,787 --> 01:14:21,070
He's at the 35. The 40.
1062
01:14:21,431 --> 01:14:24,357
Oh! He's brought down hard,
by his facemask.
1063
01:14:24,357 --> 01:14:27,578
What? Oh, come on, man!
That was a facemask!
1064
01:14:27,578 --> 01:14:29,911
- You're not gonna call that?
- I saw a clean tackle, sir.
1065
01:14:29,911 --> 01:14:31,798
What you looking at?
Are you serious?
1066
01:14:31,798 --> 01:14:33,521
Tell it to the parole board,
criminal.
1067
01:14:34,429 --> 01:14:36,184
I mean, this is absurd.
1068
01:14:36,191 --> 01:14:38,477
We can't win with the refs
on the payroll!
1069
01:14:38,477 --> 01:14:41,812
Listen up. I got an idea
to end all this bullshit.
1070
01:14:41,812 --> 01:14:43,340
Come on, let's all stay up!
Come on!
1071
01:14:45,925 --> 01:14:47,052
Down, set!
1072
01:14:47,449 --> 01:14:50,014
- Red 58.
- Cover your man!
1073
01:14:50,506 --> 01:14:52,287
Red 58. Hut!
1074
01:15:03,326 --> 01:15:06,068
That one hurt
my marble sack.
1075
01:15:08,488 --> 01:15:09,191
All right!
1076
01:15:09,191 --> 01:15:10,878
- You all right?
- Yeah.
1077
01:15:10,878 --> 01:15:12,860
- What down is it?
- Fifth.
1078
01:15:12,860 --> 01:15:14,854
- No, no. It would be fourth down.
- Okay.
1079
01:15:19,069 --> 01:15:21,519
What do you think?
Should I go for the left nut this time?
1080
01:15:22,904 --> 01:15:24,306
Underneath! Let's go!
1081
01:15:24,420 --> 01:15:26,647
Ref, you gotta get in the game!
Right over here!
1082
01:15:26,647 --> 01:15:30,782
Well, I don't quite get this, but on fourth
and 22, the cons are gonna go for it.
1083
01:15:30,782 --> 01:15:31,994
Down, set!
1084
01:15:32,344 --> 01:15:36,098
Red 58.
Red 58. Hut!
1085
01:15:44,460 --> 01:15:46,966
You gotta always protect
the McNuggets.
1086
01:15:50,223 --> 01:15:53,108
How about from now on, you call
a fair game? How's that sound?
1087
01:15:53,262 --> 01:15:56,994
- Sounds good.
- Okay. Wet Willie.
1088
01:15:57,556 --> 01:15:58,809
Yeah, you like that.
1089
01:16:03,129 --> 01:16:04,605
And so the guards
will take over
1090
01:16:04,605 --> 01:16:07,961
after one of the strangest
offensive series I've ever seen.
1091
01:16:08,200 --> 01:16:11,446
Okay, boys. We know who doesn't
have any balls out there now.
1092
01:16:11,446 --> 01:16:14,053
Have we got any?
Have we got some balls?
1093
01:16:14,053 --> 01:16:17,346
- Yeah!
- All right! Let's go kick some ass!
1094
01:16:18,032 --> 01:16:20,098
Come on, Swit,
stand them up, baby.
1095
01:16:20,364 --> 01:16:24,185
White 50. White 50.
Hut, hut, hut!
1096
01:16:24,455 --> 01:16:27,225
Knauer, play action.
Here comes the blitz.
1097
01:16:28,911 --> 01:16:33,555
Ouch! Switowski is so big, it's like being
tackled by a Coke machine with legs.
1098
01:16:33,555 --> 01:16:35,201
This is fun!
1099
01:16:37,035 --> 01:16:40,518
- Nice to see you smiling, Bob.
- Thanks, Chris.
1100
01:16:42,348 --> 01:16:43,887
Green 90! Hut!
1101
01:16:44,167 --> 01:16:46,203
Third and 5,
and the give is to Megget.
1102
01:16:46,400 --> 01:16:49,065
He's to the 40,
where he'll come up short.
1103
01:16:49,065 --> 01:16:51,502
But look at Turley
push the pile.
1104
01:16:51,502 --> 01:16:53,159
And now Crewe.
1105
01:16:54,068 --> 01:16:55,844
And that's a first down!
1106
01:16:56,849 --> 01:17:00,324
And look out. Boy, somebody better
take control of this game soon,
1107
01:17:00,324 --> 01:17:02,668
or they're gonna need body bags
on the sidelines.
1108
01:17:02,668 --> 01:17:04,168
- Let's go, guys.
- Come on.
1109
01:17:04,168 --> 01:17:05,070
Start of the second quarter.
1110
01:17:05,070 --> 01:17:08,158
Cons still down by two touchdowns,
but they finally have some momentum.
1111
01:17:08,158 --> 01:17:08,776
Hut!
1112
01:17:11,815 --> 01:17:14,088
Crewe with a shovel pass
to Megget.
1113
01:17:14,772 --> 01:17:16,886
And Megget scrambles
for a first down.
1114
01:17:16,886 --> 01:17:19,246
Oh-ho-ho, you fooled me.
1115
01:17:19,246 --> 01:17:20,658
- I got you there, didn't I?
- You did.
1116
01:17:20,658 --> 01:17:23,567
You know what? Engleheart, you are
the best-looking guy on your team no kiddin'.
1117
01:17:23,567 --> 01:17:27,619
You know, Paul, in the midst of all this,
for you to say something like that is...
1118
01:17:29,079 --> 01:17:30,547
Come on, let's go.
Let's go, D.
1119
01:17:30,547 --> 01:17:32,468
First and 10
at the guards' 35.
1120
01:17:32,468 --> 01:17:35,449
Crewe dumps it over the middle
to Deacon Moss.
1121
01:17:35,822 --> 01:17:40,393
And he's hammered at the 17 for a
13-yard pickup, and that's a first down.
1122
01:17:41,322 --> 01:17:43,285
- Hut!
- Crewe, trying to get his team
1123
01:17:43,285 --> 01:17:44,678
on the scoreboard.
1124
01:17:45,183 --> 01:17:46,817
He will throw.
1125
01:17:48,977 --> 01:17:52,310
And it's caught by Deacon Moss
for a touchdown!
1126
01:17:53,039 --> 01:17:53,970
All right!
1127
01:17:53,974 --> 01:17:58,247
And so there'll be no shutout today,
as the cons are on the board.
1128
01:17:58,421 --> 01:18:01,402
Quit booing, people.
Both teams are trying very hard!
1129
01:18:02,038 --> 01:18:05,205
What the hell's wrong with you?
Stop acting like a damn cheerleader!
1130
01:18:05,205 --> 01:18:07,061
- Sportsmanship, try it.
- Shut up.
1131
01:18:10,795 --> 01:18:11,828
Damn.
1132
01:18:12,021 --> 01:18:15,500
2:11 left in the first half.
And Dunham is back in at fullback.
1133
01:18:15,500 --> 01:18:18,612
And he is a load,
at 6'2", 260.
1134
01:18:20,692 --> 01:18:22,833
Dunham, breaking tackles.
1135
01:18:22,833 --> 01:18:24,900
He refuses to go down.
1136
01:18:24,900 --> 01:18:28,350
But he finally does
after a 15-yard gain.
1137
01:18:30,221 --> 01:18:32,325
That's how a white man
runs a football.
1138
01:18:32,325 --> 01:18:35,319
If I was on D, I'd crack you square
in that egg-ass head o' yours.
1139
01:18:35,319 --> 01:18:38,093
Yeah, but you ain't on D.
Are you, bitch?
1140
01:18:39,599 --> 01:18:41,414
Switowski! Come 'ere.
1141
01:18:42,276 --> 01:18:44,380
Do you know what
he said to me in the library?
1142
01:18:47,858 --> 01:18:50,686
Yes. Him. Out.
1143
01:18:53,631 --> 01:18:56,534
D, D, defense
D, D, defense
1144
01:18:56,870 --> 01:18:59,134
The cons don't seem to have
an answer for Dunham,
1145
01:18:59,134 --> 01:19:02,239
who's averaging close to
12 yards a carry this half.
1146
01:19:04,042 --> 01:19:07,262
Green 67.
Green 67. Hut!
1147
01:19:11,178 --> 01:19:13,807
Oh, what a hit on Dunham
by Switowski.
1148
01:19:16,460 --> 01:19:18,632
I think
I made him shit himself.
1149
01:19:19,551 --> 01:19:21,347
I think he just shit himself.
1150
01:19:21,358 --> 01:19:23,814
I think he just shit himself.
1151
01:19:23,843 --> 01:19:26,955
Good Lord.
This guy shit himself bigtime.
1152
01:19:27,256 --> 01:19:30,396
See? I told you
I made him shit himself!
1153
01:19:31,279 --> 01:19:34,219
Yo! I'll make sure I send
them books to the hospital, pimp.
1154
01:19:34,219 --> 01:19:35,745
And some diapers.
1155
01:19:37,459 --> 01:19:39,794
Nineteen seconds.
We got a lot of ground to cover,
1156
01:19:39,794 --> 01:19:42,492
so... you bastards remember
that play we practised in the mud?
1157
01:19:42,492 --> 01:19:45,550
What are you talking about?
That was some schoolyard bullshit.
1158
01:19:45,550 --> 01:19:48,783
Yeah. Let's try some
schoolyard bullshit.
1159
01:19:50,309 --> 01:19:51,827
Come on, D, let's go.
1160
01:19:51,827 --> 01:19:56,568
Down, set! Green 88.
Green 88. Hut!
1161
01:19:56,568 --> 01:20:00,820
The clock starts to run. Crewe hands
the ball to Megget. It's a reverse.
1162
01:20:01,170 --> 01:20:03,277
Cheeseburger Eddy's got it.
1163
01:20:03,277 --> 01:20:04,412
Go, baby, go!
1164
01:20:05,581 --> 01:20:07,423
He laterals to Deacon.
1165
01:20:08,617 --> 01:20:10,008
Tackle 'im!
1166
01:20:11,134 --> 01:20:12,498
To Turley.
1167
01:20:12,498 --> 01:20:15,227
The clock is running.
To Brucie.
1168
01:20:15,227 --> 01:20:17,453
Shades of Cal-Stanford.
1169
01:20:17,453 --> 01:20:19,021
Back to Crewe.
1170
01:20:19,461 --> 01:20:21,152
He tosses to Megget.
1171
01:20:21,324 --> 01:20:22,695
Tackle 'im!
1172
01:20:26,170 --> 01:20:28,968
And look at
that little Megget run.
1173
01:20:28,968 --> 01:20:30,991
Three seconds left.
1174
01:20:31,786 --> 01:20:33,360
Yeah! Go!
1175
01:20:33,606 --> 01:20:39,531
He could... go... all... the... way.
Touchdown!
1176
01:20:44,491 --> 01:20:45,293
Did you see that?!
1177
01:20:45,293 --> 01:20:47,022
Do that sound again.
1178
01:20:48,712 --> 01:20:50,137
I like that.
1179
01:20:53,023 --> 01:20:55,063
And so,
on a miraculous play,
1180
01:20:55,063 --> 01:20:59,181
the cons end the first half
with the score: 14-all.
1181
01:21:03,972 --> 01:21:05,223
Bring it in.
1182
01:21:06,058 --> 01:21:09,622
Do you have any idea...
who's beating you out there?
1183
01:21:09,654 --> 01:21:11,792
This was supposed
to be a blowout,
1184
01:21:11,792 --> 01:21:15,286
and they're showing you up
in front of the whole nation.
1185
01:21:16,318 --> 01:21:18,034
The whole nation!
1186
01:21:18,034 --> 01:21:20,435
I like it when he's angry.
1187
01:21:22,804 --> 01:21:24,741
- I told you!
- Way to go, baby, way to go.
1188
01:21:31,081 --> 01:21:33,991
What in the hell do you think
you're doin' out there?
1189
01:21:33,991 --> 01:21:35,571
Playing football, sir.
1190
01:21:37,340 --> 01:21:39,520
I didn't say nothin'
about winnin'.
1191
01:21:39,520 --> 01:21:41,558
We're not winnin'.
Not yet.
1192
01:21:44,479 --> 01:21:47,051
You got yourself in quite
a predicament, Mr. Crewe.
1193
01:21:47,051 --> 01:21:49,476
- Is that right?
- You see, it's just come to my attention
1194
01:21:49,476 --> 01:21:51,411
that inmate Unger
has been taken into custody
1195
01:21:51,411 --> 01:21:53,526
for the murder of Caretaker.
1196
01:21:53,526 --> 01:21:55,808
- Good.
- Oh, yeah, it's good.
1197
01:21:56,077 --> 01:21:59,283
Only thing is, he claims
to have an accomplice.
1198
01:21:59,714 --> 01:22:01,599
Claims you knew
all about it.
1199
01:22:01,599 --> 01:22:04,813
Hell, he even says
you sent Caretaker to your cell.
1200
01:22:05,814 --> 01:22:07,357
Bullshit.
1201
01:22:07,357 --> 01:22:10,216
Captain Knauer says
he saw you planning it with Unger.
1202
01:22:11,548 --> 01:22:13,458
There's no way
that could hold up in court.
1203
01:22:13,458 --> 01:22:14,464
Court?
1204
01:22:16,189 --> 01:22:20,489
Hell, boy. In Allenville,
I'm the judge, I'm the jury,
1205
01:22:20,489 --> 01:22:24,872
and in your particular case,
I'm the executioner.
1206
01:22:25,492 --> 01:22:28,655
- What do you want?
- I want you to lose.
1207
01:22:28,655 --> 01:22:30,132
I can't do that.
1208
01:22:30,132 --> 01:22:32,919
Course you can. After all,
you've had plenty of practice.
1209
01:22:32,919 --> 01:22:36,569
But the men! It's more important
to them than it is to you.
1210
01:22:37,562 --> 01:22:39,605
Okay. Suit yourself.
1211
01:22:39,733 --> 01:22:43,586
Spend the next 25 years
of your useless life in prison.
1212
01:22:45,478 --> 01:22:47,207
All right, I'll do it.
1213
01:22:51,071 --> 01:22:54,742
But I don't want my guys hurt.
You get ahead, you coast. We clear?
1214
01:22:54,742 --> 01:22:57,651
Fine. Right after I get
a two-touchdown lead.
1215
01:22:58,973 --> 01:23:01,388
I tell you what bothers me
the most, warden.
1216
01:23:03,530 --> 01:23:05,760
That you're not gonna be
out there on that field with us,
1217
01:23:06,325 --> 01:23:08,695
gettin' what you got
comin' to you.
1218
01:23:11,161 --> 01:23:14,341
The only thing comin' to me
is victory.
1219
01:23:16,124 --> 01:23:20,370
Mean Machine.
It's cute.
1220
01:23:22,934 --> 01:23:25,034
- Let's go, boy!
- We can do it, baby!
1221
01:23:25,034 --> 01:23:25,942
Captain.
1222
01:23:27,176 --> 01:23:28,544
May I have a word?
1223
01:23:28,707 --> 01:23:30,882
Don't worry, warden,
we'll take care of business.
1224
01:23:31,226 --> 01:23:32,818
I already have.
1225
01:23:32,818 --> 01:23:35,718
What? We can win this
on our own.
1226
01:23:35,718 --> 01:23:39,777
Captain, a man in my position
doesn't leave things to chance.
1227
01:23:40,140 --> 01:23:43,450
Now, after you get a comfortable
three-touchdown lead,
1228
01:23:43,450 --> 01:23:46,450
I want you to inflict as much pain
as humanly possible.
1229
01:23:46,450 --> 01:23:48,290
Do not let up, you hear?
1230
01:23:48,912 --> 01:23:51,528
I want those cons to understand
who owns 'em.
1231
01:23:52,341 --> 01:23:55,011
- Do I make myself clear?
- Oh, yes, sir.
1232
01:23:55,948 --> 01:23:57,088
Good.
1233
01:23:57,686 --> 01:24:01,299
There's the kickoff, and we're
under way in the second half.
1234
01:24:06,582 --> 01:24:09,667
Megget is finally brought down
at the guards' 33,
1235
01:24:09,667 --> 01:24:11,376
where Paul Crewe
will take over.
1236
01:24:11,376 --> 01:24:13,437
And what a first half
he's had.
1237
01:24:13,437 --> 01:24:14,913
Here we go! Here we go!
1238
01:24:17,680 --> 01:24:18,868
Down, set!
1239
01:24:19,616 --> 01:24:21,458
Y 45. Hut!
1240
01:24:22,521 --> 01:24:24,624
On first and 10,
Crewe will pass.
1241
01:24:24,624 --> 01:24:26,697
He's got Deacon wide open.
1242
01:24:26,697 --> 01:24:27,915
Oh, incomplete.
1243
01:24:27,915 --> 01:24:29,406
It's okay.
Get your head up.
1244
01:24:30,006 --> 01:24:31,226
It's all right, man.
1245
01:24:32,606 --> 01:24:34,052
Come on, Paulie.
1246
01:24:34,078 --> 01:24:37,248
Second and 10 from the 33. Crewe's
looking for Deacon once again.
1247
01:24:37,248 --> 01:24:38,771
- He's open!
- He's open!
1248
01:24:40,149 --> 01:24:43,599
But overthrows it.
And it's picked off by Papajohn.
1249
01:24:43,837 --> 01:24:46,005
Look out! He might go.
1250
01:24:47,170 --> 01:24:48,945
Say goodbye.
1251
01:24:49,312 --> 01:24:50,701
Touchdown!
1252
01:24:52,340 --> 01:24:55,534
The first mistake
Crewe's made all day.
1253
01:24:58,696 --> 01:25:02,156
Short memory, baby.
We'll get it back. We'll get it back.
1254
01:25:02,419 --> 01:25:03,864
Defense, let's do this!
1255
01:25:05,160 --> 01:25:06,990
8:38 left
in the third quarter,
1256
01:25:06,990 --> 01:25:09,005
and Crewe has struggled
thus far in the second half.
1257
01:25:09,005 --> 01:25:09,720
Hut!
1258
01:25:10,589 --> 01:25:13,891
The pitch to Megget.
Oh, my! That ball is live!
1259
01:25:14,903 --> 01:25:16,350
It's picked up by Lambert.
1260
01:25:16,350 --> 01:25:20,017
He's at the 15, the 10,
and he will score!
1261
01:25:21,275 --> 01:25:23,036
Yeah! Touchdown! Yeah!
1262
01:25:23,036 --> 01:25:27,120
Crewe took a shot on that play
and he's getting up slowly.
1263
01:25:27,543 --> 01:25:30,517
Meanwhile, in the end zone, the guards
have something to celebrate,
1264
01:25:30,517 --> 01:25:33,279
as they find themselves up
by two touchdowns.
1265
01:25:33,279 --> 01:25:37,039
This is simply a different Paul Crewe
we're seeing here in the second half.
1266
01:25:37,039 --> 01:25:39,723
There's the old Paul Crewe
we love to write about.
1267
01:25:39,911 --> 01:25:41,410
What the hell are you
doin' out there?
1268
01:25:41,410 --> 01:25:42,645
I'm done.
1269
01:25:44,267 --> 01:25:46,312
I'm out. That's it.
1270
01:25:48,062 --> 01:25:49,928
- Where you hurtin'?
- My knee.
1271
01:25:49,928 --> 01:25:52,086
- Seems okay to me.
- Well, it ain't.
1272
01:25:54,443 --> 01:25:58,499
If Crewe can't go, I don't know how
deep these guys are at quarterback.
1273
01:26:00,185 --> 01:26:03,330
The guards will try to keep it away
from Megget, so they'll pooch kick.
1274
01:26:03,330 --> 01:26:04,570
Fair catch. Fair catch.
1275
01:26:04,570 --> 01:26:07,081
As Big Tony calls for
the fair catch.
1276
01:26:07,635 --> 01:26:11,229
Watch out. That was as late
a hit as I've ever seen.
1277
01:26:13,120 --> 01:26:16,485
And even some of the home crowd
not liking that one.
1278
01:26:16,988 --> 01:26:18,024
Hang in there, partner.
1279
01:26:18,024 --> 01:26:22,231
Can o' corn. Can o' corn,
and I'll be fine. Can o' corn.
1280
01:26:25,023 --> 01:26:27,303
Yeah, I'd have a hard time
looking at me too.
1281
01:26:27,469 --> 01:26:28,628
Brucie!
1282
01:26:28,868 --> 01:26:29,821
Yeah, coach.
1283
01:26:30,134 --> 01:26:33,419
You're the only one that knows
this offense, son. Now, do it.
1284
01:26:33,419 --> 01:26:36,081
Coming into the game,
replacing the injured Paul Crewe,
1285
01:26:36,081 --> 01:26:37,505
is number 1, Brucie.
1286
01:26:37,505 --> 01:26:39,681
All right, all right.
Crewe's playing like shit.
1287
01:26:39,681 --> 01:26:41,646
That's his problem.
I'm gonna bring us back.
1288
01:26:41,646 --> 01:26:44,467
Right, 32 Flex Dive Motion
on one. Ready!
1289
01:26:44,467 --> 01:26:45,102
Break!
1290
01:26:45,102 --> 01:26:48,055
Yeah. It's Brucie's
time to shine, baby.
1291
01:26:48,390 --> 01:26:50,977
Okay. Down, set. Hut!
1292
01:26:50,977 --> 01:26:54,660
There's the snap and the ball is
fumbled. And the guards recover.
1293
01:26:55,043 --> 01:26:56,983
I... knew I shouldn't
have had that popcorn.
1294
01:26:57,820 --> 01:27:01,267
The guards are in command here
as we move late into the third quarter.
1295
01:27:01,267 --> 01:27:02,536
Ninety-eight. Hut! Hut!
1296
01:27:03,774 --> 01:27:06,451
The give is to Potter.
Back to Knauer.
1297
01:27:06,451 --> 01:27:09,306
He's got a man open
deep downfield.
1298
01:27:09,306 --> 01:27:11,123
He'll throw
the flea-flicker!
1299
01:27:11,123 --> 01:27:14,098
And he's got it.
Touchdown, guards.
1300
01:27:14,128 --> 01:27:17,134
And this game is starting
to look like a blowout.
1301
01:27:19,072 --> 01:27:23,284
Hey, man, after all Caretaker did,
this is how you show him love?
1302
01:27:23,284 --> 01:27:24,743
Don't worry about it.
1303
01:27:24,743 --> 01:27:27,366
You haven't changed
one damn bit.
1304
01:27:31,363 --> 01:27:32,664
All right. Down, set!
1305
01:27:32,664 --> 01:27:34,430
Back in at quarterback
is Brucie,
1306
01:27:34,430 --> 01:27:36,823
who will try to find a handle
on the ball this time.
1307
01:27:38,102 --> 01:27:39,650
Throw it, Brucie!
1308
01:27:39,869 --> 01:27:40,982
Oh, shit!
1309
01:27:41,533 --> 01:27:42,716
And look out.
1310
01:27:46,586 --> 01:27:48,406
Ooh, what a shot he took!
1311
01:27:48,823 --> 01:27:50,782
How much more blood
do you want?
1312
01:27:53,467 --> 01:27:57,001
I think the cons are just about
out of options at quarterback.
1313
01:28:15,651 --> 01:28:17,680
Hey, Skitchy,
let me ask you something.
1314
01:28:18,480 --> 01:28:21,345
When you popped the warden,
was it worth it?
1315
01:28:21,345 --> 01:28:23,888
Was it worth spendin'
the rest of your life in here?
1316
01:28:24,123 --> 01:28:28,491
Was it worth it? It was worth
every goddamn second.
1317
01:28:35,557 --> 01:28:37,122
What the hell is he doin'?
1318
01:28:39,971 --> 01:28:43,470
Paul Crewe must be feeling better,
because... here he comes.
1319
01:28:43,909 --> 01:28:46,193
All right, I missed you guys,
so I'm back.
1320
01:28:46,229 --> 01:28:48,394
We got a lot of work to do.
Let's get it goin'.
1321
01:28:48,394 --> 01:28:51,142
Deuce right, 89.
Fly on two. Ready?
1322
01:28:53,321 --> 01:28:54,494
Break.
1323
01:28:55,821 --> 01:28:58,835
As we start the fourth quarter,
cons down by three touchdowns.
1324
01:28:58,835 --> 01:29:00,222
Wide left! Tight left!
1325
01:29:01,311 --> 01:29:03,725
Black 90. Hut! Hut!
1326
01:29:04,027 --> 01:29:06,601
Here comes the blitz,
and no one's blocking!
1327
01:29:06,805 --> 01:29:09,391
And Crewe will be sacked
for a big loss.
1328
01:29:10,085 --> 01:29:14,325
That looked like a message to Crewe
from his offensive line.
1329
01:29:15,727 --> 01:29:17,345
Did you see that, man?
They're quittin' on 'im.
1330
01:29:17,345 --> 01:29:19,343
Okay, baby.
Jailbreak Blitz. Ready?
1331
01:29:19,683 --> 01:29:21,951
We got that out of the way.
I deserved it.
1332
01:29:21,951 --> 01:29:24,645
- Now we gotta play some football.
- Switch it! Switch it!
1333
01:29:24,645 --> 01:29:26,622
Cons need to do something
to get back in this game.
1334
01:29:26,622 --> 01:29:28,070
And that's not it!
1335
01:29:29,290 --> 01:29:31,222
And Crewe is leveled!
1336
01:29:31,222 --> 01:29:33,535
I don't think he's gonna get up
from that one.
1337
01:29:33,535 --> 01:29:34,485
- Nice hit!
- Oh, yeah!
1338
01:29:36,772 --> 01:29:39,593
But he is. And I don't know how,
after that last hit.
1339
01:29:39,593 --> 01:29:40,531
All right, punt team!
1340
01:29:40,531 --> 01:29:43,022
Keep them off the field!
We're goin' for it.
1341
01:29:43,022 --> 01:29:45,438
Dumbshits are goin' for it!
Let's go! Let's go!
1342
01:29:45,468 --> 01:29:48,163
Come on back, if he wants to get
his ass kicked. Come on back.
1343
01:29:48,280 --> 01:29:49,934
This is unbelievable.
1344
01:29:49,934 --> 01:29:53,761
Fine. You guys don't wanna help me,
I'll do it on my own. On two.
1345
01:29:55,001 --> 01:29:55,973
Let's go, to the line.
1346
01:29:55,973 --> 01:29:56,939
On fourth and 20,
1347
01:29:56,939 --> 01:30:00,692
the cons are gonna go for it.
This could be the ball game right here.
1348
01:30:00,692 --> 01:30:02,711
Red 98. Hut! Hut!
1349
01:30:04,368 --> 01:30:07,878
Crewe dodges the blitz,
but he loses his helmet.
1350
01:30:10,645 --> 01:30:12,694
And he's not going down.
1351
01:30:17,871 --> 01:30:20,142
He's got the first down.
1352
01:30:20,142 --> 01:30:21,140
Time-out!
1353
01:30:22,459 --> 01:30:24,137
- Not bad.
- Not bad.
1354
01:30:30,833 --> 01:30:31,987
Huddle up.
1355
01:30:33,062 --> 01:30:34,043
Look.
1356
01:30:35,151 --> 01:30:38,818
I'm sure you already know this,
but I never said it out loud.
1357
01:30:39,816 --> 01:30:41,655
I did throw that game.
1358
01:30:42,945 --> 01:30:44,216
I did it.
1359
01:30:45,034 --> 01:30:47,674
I was in a bad way
with some worse people.
1360
01:30:48,350 --> 01:30:49,451
After I did it,
1361
01:30:49,840 --> 01:30:54,039
I felt so shitty I wish... wish
I would have just let them kill me instead.
1362
01:30:54,474 --> 01:30:58,636
Now... the warden wants to pin
Caretaker's murder on me
1363
01:30:58,843 --> 01:31:00,740
if I don't throw this game.
1364
01:31:02,534 --> 01:31:04,855
So it looks like I'm gonna get
to know you guys a lot better,
1365
01:31:04,855 --> 01:31:07,274
cause I ain't doin' that
twice in a lifetime.
1366
01:31:07,766 --> 01:31:10,959
We got a little time left.
We can still do this.
1367
01:31:10,959 --> 01:31:13,906
I'm beggin' ya.
Put your hands in here.
1368
01:31:23,542 --> 01:31:26,472
Okay. Thank you.
Now, who are we?
1369
01:31:26,472 --> 01:31:27,552
Mean Machine!
1370
01:31:27,552 --> 01:31:29,351
Come on, Mean Machine,
let's go!
1371
01:31:33,226 --> 01:31:34,707
That's great news.
1372
01:31:34,707 --> 01:31:37,477
All right.
We got ourselves a game.
1373
01:31:37,477 --> 01:31:39,052
Brown 65. Hut!
1374
01:31:39,052 --> 01:31:42,540
First and 10 from the 30.
Crewe finds Deacon open in the flat.
1375
01:31:45,066 --> 01:31:45,762
Hut!
1376
01:31:47,483 --> 01:31:50,618
The give is to Megget. And he fights
his way for a 9-yard gain.
1377
01:31:50,618 --> 01:31:52,422
One yard, baby.
One more yard.
1378
01:31:53,256 --> 01:31:54,613
Hut! Hut!
1379
01:31:54,613 --> 01:31:56,746
Crewe tries a sneak.
Or is it?
1380
01:31:56,746 --> 01:31:58,635
He flips it back to Megget.
1381
01:31:58,635 --> 01:32:01,670
Megget's got the first down
and more.
1382
01:32:08,803 --> 01:32:12,504
And Megget is down to the 4-yard
line, where it'll be first and goal.
1383
01:32:12,921 --> 01:32:13,629
Hut!
1384
01:32:14,388 --> 01:32:18,491
Crewe hands it to Turley.
And look at the big man go.
1385
01:32:18,522 --> 01:32:19,702
Tackle 'im!
1386
01:32:25,224 --> 01:32:26,564
Touchdown!
1387
01:32:27,278 --> 01:32:31,585
That was some rumbling, bumbling
stumbling right there.
1388
01:32:31,585 --> 01:32:33,297
And listen to the crowd
1389
01:32:33,297 --> 01:32:37,070
as this underdog con team
is startin' to win them over.
1390
01:32:44,677 --> 01:32:48,109
Third down and 6. Guards have
the ball on their own 29-yard line.
1391
01:32:48,109 --> 01:32:50,615
Knauer needs a first down
to put this game away.
1392
01:32:50,615 --> 01:32:54,294
White 50!
White 50!
1393
01:32:54,294 --> 01:32:56,513
And look at Battle
take off.
1394
01:32:57,519 --> 01:32:59,506
He knocks the ball loose!
1395
01:33:00,188 --> 01:33:04,180
There's a dogpile in the backfield.
The refs are trying to sort it out.
1396
01:33:06,538 --> 01:33:08,165
Ah, my arm!
1397
01:33:09,733 --> 01:33:11,584
The cons recover!
1398
01:33:11,951 --> 01:33:14,381
Yeah, we got the ball! We got the ball!
We got it! We got it!
1399
01:33:15,324 --> 01:33:20,118
With just over two minutes left to be
played, this has turned into a game.
1400
01:33:20,207 --> 01:33:23,479
Crewe will start in great
field position at the guards' 25.
1401
01:33:23,902 --> 01:33:27,519
And look at this formation.
The guards, they're confused.
1402
01:33:27,519 --> 01:33:28,861
Shift over! Move!
1403
01:33:28,861 --> 01:33:31,510
They're trying to call time-out,
but there's the snap.
1404
01:33:34,796 --> 01:33:38,697
Moss is behind a wall of cons. I
wouldn't wanna be in front of that thing.
1405
01:33:41,621 --> 01:33:43,253
And they'll score!
1406
01:33:47,576 --> 01:33:50,177
- Hey! Is that legal?
- Yeah, it is.
1407
01:33:50,177 --> 01:33:52,182
- Is that a touchdown?
- Yes, it is.
1408
01:33:52,182 --> 01:33:54,970
What is going on here? Shit!
1409
01:33:55,455 --> 01:33:59,260
And with the extra point,
the cons are down by just seven.
1410
01:34:05,529 --> 01:34:07,460
- Brucie!
- Yeah. Yeah, coach.
1411
01:34:08,476 --> 01:34:10,442
I want you to go out there
and kick off.
1412
01:34:10,442 --> 01:34:12,150
- I can do it.
- Kick off!
1413
01:34:12,792 --> 01:34:17,269
- Brucie can't kick worth a shit.
- I know. Recover the ball.
1414
01:34:17,868 --> 01:34:20,373
Jesus Christ, my Savior.
If you help me out with this one,
1415
01:34:20,373 --> 01:34:24,043
I promise to stop cheating on my wife
with black guys. Amen.
1416
01:34:24,043 --> 01:34:26,307
Back in the game is Brucie,
and he'll do the honors.
1417
01:34:26,307 --> 01:34:29,358
And it's a horrible kick.
But the ball is tipped!
1418
01:34:30,970 --> 01:34:32,849
And the cons
have come up with it!
1419
01:34:34,165 --> 01:34:36,578
- We got it! One time-out.
- Got it. Got it. Got it.
1420
01:34:36,578 --> 01:34:40,294
That's it, Brucie. Oh-go!
My bad. My bad. My bad. Come on.
1421
01:34:41,743 --> 01:34:42,920
Give me that.
1422
01:34:43,683 --> 01:34:44,597
Damn...
1423
01:34:46,219 --> 01:34:48,544
Well,
that felt unnecessary.
1424
01:34:48,544 --> 01:34:51,380
Cons have enough time
for one final drive.
1425
01:34:52,421 --> 01:34:54,885
Crewe drops back to pass.
He's under pressure.
1426
01:34:54,885 --> 01:34:56,429
- Watch the pass!
- He's looking for Deacon.
1427
01:34:56,987 --> 01:34:59,155
He gets the ball up,
but he's leveled.
1428
01:34:59,962 --> 01:35:02,907
And Deacon's got it for a first down,
but he stayed inbounds.
1429
01:35:02,907 --> 01:35:04,873
Tick, tick, tick.
The clock keeps running.
1430
01:35:04,873 --> 01:35:06,987
Clock's runnin'. Clock's still runnin'!
Clock's still runnin'!
1431
01:35:08,227 --> 01:35:09,210
On the ball!
1432
01:35:09,454 --> 01:35:11,258
Damn it!
Do something!
1433
01:35:11,312 --> 01:35:12,078
Hut!
1434
01:35:13,066 --> 01:35:16,291
Crewe. He's looking to throw.
Under pressure again.
1435
01:35:16,291 --> 01:35:19,078
Go! Get rid of it! Go! Go!
1436
01:35:19,078 --> 01:35:21,157
He pitches it to Megget.
He's got some room.
1437
01:35:21,157 --> 01:35:23,513
Here we go. Here we go.
Go, Megg! Go, Megget!
1438
01:35:23,513 --> 01:35:26,372
- Go, Megget!
- Get 'im!
1439
01:35:26,372 --> 01:35:29,090
He could go all... the... way!
1440
01:35:29,090 --> 01:35:30,481
But he won't!
1441
01:35:30,481 --> 01:35:31,562
Goddamn it!
1442
01:35:31,562 --> 01:35:34,012
And Megget is hit hard
at the 4, and he's hurt.
1443
01:35:34,605 --> 01:35:35,652
My knee, man!
1444
01:35:38,109 --> 01:35:40,517
You busted your knee for us,
we'll bust our ass for you.
1445
01:35:40,517 --> 01:35:42,702
Hey, coach,
I need a back!
1446
01:35:42,946 --> 01:35:44,107
Win this shit.
1447
01:35:46,104 --> 01:35:48,593
- I'm goin' in.
- Coach, you serious?
1448
01:35:49,050 --> 01:35:50,684
Yeah, I'm serious.
1449
01:35:51,068 --> 01:35:53,566
And look who's
coming into the game.
1450
01:35:54,176 --> 01:35:55,654
You can do it!
1451
01:35:55,654 --> 01:35:58,848
Get that old ass of yours
in the end zone!
1452
01:35:58,848 --> 01:36:01,851
We gotta win this thing!
Come on!
1453
01:36:03,356 --> 01:36:05,962
No, no, no, no.
Hey. Old man.
1454
01:36:05,962 --> 01:36:08,148
Absolutely not.
You're gonna get killed out here.
1455
01:36:08,148 --> 01:36:11,022
They've been tryin' that for years.
Don't worry, I got the perfect play.
1456
01:36:11,022 --> 01:36:13,369
- I ain't handin' you the ball.
- You don't have to.
1457
01:36:13,369 --> 01:36:17,336
Nate Scarborough, the former
Heisman Trophy winner from 1955,
1458
01:36:17,336 --> 01:36:18,314
is gonna play tailback,
1459
01:36:18,314 --> 01:36:21,318
but he's gotta be in there more
for moral support than anything.
1460
01:36:21,318 --> 01:36:23,685
Mean Machine. Mean Machine.
1461
01:36:23,685 --> 01:36:26,804
Mean Machine. Mean Machine.
1462
01:36:26,804 --> 01:36:30,912
Mean Machine, Mean Machine,
Mean Machine
1463
01:36:30,912 --> 01:36:32,520
Mean Machine!
1464
01:36:32,520 --> 01:36:34,919
Mean Machine!
Mean Machine!
1465
01:36:34,919 --> 01:36:37,161
Six seconds left on the clock.
Cons down by seven.
1466
01:36:37,161 --> 01:36:39,549
They must score on this play.
1467
01:36:41,664 --> 01:36:42,964
Don't let them through!
1468
01:36:44,437 --> 01:36:45,504
Down, set!
1469
01:36:46,568 --> 01:36:49,442
- Black 99!
- Come on, D!
1470
01:36:49,463 --> 01:36:52,520
Black 99! Hut! Hut!
1471
01:36:52,595 --> 01:36:54,916
The give is to
the big man, Turley.
1472
01:36:55,038 --> 01:36:58,285
He's stopped by Lambert
at the line for no gain.
1473
01:36:58,818 --> 01:37:00,204
No! Wait!
1474
01:37:01,431 --> 01:37:03,937
The ball's picked up
by Scarborough.
1475
01:37:06,918 --> 01:37:07,942
Come on!
1476
01:37:13,700 --> 01:37:15,370
Touchdown!
1477
01:37:23,259 --> 01:37:25,519
What an amazing comeback,
folks!
1478
01:37:25,519 --> 01:37:28,107
Taking a play from
the old Nebraska playbook.
1479
01:37:28,107 --> 01:37:29,280
The Fumblerooskie.
1480
01:37:29,280 --> 01:37:31,036
Easy. Easy.
1481
01:37:31,036 --> 01:37:35,640
- You still alive, old man?
- Never felt better in my life.
1482
01:37:35,640 --> 01:37:37,911
You're a sick bastard.
Come here.
1483
01:37:40,010 --> 01:37:44,282
And now the cons are a mere
extra point away from overtime.
1484
01:37:44,282 --> 01:37:45,736
Mean Machine!
1485
01:37:49,018 --> 01:37:52,484
Team vote: We go for the win?
We go for the tie?
1486
01:37:52,484 --> 01:37:54,984
Hell, guys, we're convicts.
We always go for it all.
1487
01:37:54,984 --> 01:37:55,584
Yeah.
1488
01:37:56,097 --> 01:37:59,944
Unfortunately, that's why
we're all in the joint.
1489
01:38:00,199 --> 01:38:01,594
What would Caretaker do?
1490
01:38:03,047 --> 01:38:04,720
Give me that blackboard.
1491
01:38:04,831 --> 01:38:06,103
Yeah, come on!
1492
01:38:06,612 --> 01:38:07,740
Come on.
1493
01:38:10,021 --> 01:38:12,724
- Are you serious?
- I don't know. That-that play is wack.
1494
01:38:12,807 --> 01:38:14,297
It's gonna work.
1495
01:38:15,146 --> 01:38:17,401
It's gonna work.
Let's go. On the ball.
1496
01:38:17,478 --> 01:38:18,597
Come on! Let's go!
1497
01:38:18,597 --> 01:38:20,588
Let's go, y'all! Let's go!
1498
01:38:20,800 --> 01:38:22,432
I think it's gonna work.
1499
01:38:27,722 --> 01:38:30,445
And wait a minute.
Crewe is coming back into the game.
1500
01:38:30,445 --> 01:38:32,792
The cons are gonna go
for the win.
1501
01:38:32,792 --> 01:38:34,132
They're goin' for it.
1502
01:38:34,874 --> 01:38:37,962
Crewe... trying to settle his team
into formation.
1503
01:38:37,962 --> 01:38:40,003
But there seems to be
a lot of confusion.
1504
01:38:40,003 --> 01:38:41,560
Come on! Run the play!
1505
01:38:41,560 --> 01:38:43,958
Turley! Turley. Over here.
1506
01:38:43,958 --> 01:38:46,989
Move your giant ass right here!
Right here.
1507
01:38:47,010 --> 01:38:48,776
Come on, baby.
Come on.
1508
01:38:50,027 --> 01:38:53,072
The play clock is still running.
Crewe better call a time-out.
1509
01:38:53,072 --> 01:38:54,040
Come on, Crewe!
1510
01:38:56,197 --> 01:38:57,790
They don't know
what we're doin'!
1511
01:38:57,790 --> 01:38:59,523
Run the play we set up.
1512
01:38:59,523 --> 01:39:02,188
I think you're still dizzy
from that hit!
1513
01:39:02,934 --> 01:39:04,866
The snap is to Deacon.
1514
01:39:05,072 --> 01:39:06,059
It's a trick.
1515
01:39:06,393 --> 01:39:08,601
He throws it to Crewe.
1516
01:39:31,092 --> 01:39:35,027
They did it! Unbelievable!
The cons win!
1517
01:39:47,783 --> 01:39:49,196
We win!
1518
01:39:49,196 --> 01:39:51,994
Group hug
in the shower tonight!
1519
01:39:53,758 --> 01:39:56,437
Or not. Or not.
1520
01:39:58,138 --> 01:39:59,494
Well, there you have it.
1521
01:39:59,494 --> 01:40:01,900
A bunch of ruthless criminals
have beaten
1522
01:40:01,900 --> 01:40:04,659
the men that uphold
our justice system.
1523
01:40:04,659 --> 01:40:08,104
Criminals are people too,Chris.
Now, give me your wallet.
1524
01:40:08,420 --> 01:40:11,072
- What?
- Ah, just kiddin'.
1525
01:40:15,287 --> 01:40:19,158
You got a lot of balls, Crewe.
You played a hell of a game.
1526
01:40:19,229 --> 01:40:22,858
And don't worry. I know you had
nothin' to do with Caretaker's murder.
1527
01:40:23,063 --> 01:40:27,134
- And I'll back that up.
- Thank you, baby.
1528
01:40:28,777 --> 01:40:31,190
Mean Machine!
Mean Machine!
1529
01:40:34,144 --> 01:40:38,326
You humiliated me. I can't believe
you couldn't even win a fixed game.
1530
01:40:41,147 --> 01:40:43,303
Now, where the hell
does he think he is goin'?
1531
01:40:46,684 --> 01:40:49,333
He's escapin'.
He's escapin'!
1532
01:40:49,368 --> 01:40:53,067
- Officer, shoot that man!
- But, sir, there's people.
1533
01:40:55,011 --> 01:40:56,244
Shoot 'im.
1534
01:40:57,203 --> 01:40:58,488
Crewe!
1535
01:40:58,844 --> 01:41:01,533
Captain, I order you
to shoot that prisoner.
1536
01:41:04,317 --> 01:41:07,526
- Shoot 'im! Fire!
- Crewe!
1537
01:41:07,937 --> 01:41:10,921
Damn it, I'm giving you
an order, captain!
1538
01:41:11,067 --> 01:41:13,825
- Crewe!
- Pull the trigger!
1539
01:41:32,362 --> 01:41:34,345
It's the game ball.
1540
01:41:41,230 --> 01:41:42,147
Hey.
1541
01:41:46,127 --> 01:41:48,530
Why don't you stick this
in your trophy case?
1542
01:41:51,055 --> 01:41:53,194
- You have a nice time, old man?
- Yeah.
1543
01:41:53,194 --> 01:41:56,052
Yeah? Okay.
So, what do we do now?
1544
01:41:56,052 --> 01:41:58,758
Well, the first thing is, we tell the
team where they're hiding Unger.
1545
01:41:58,758 --> 01:42:02,030
Oh, I can't wait to see
what Switowski does to him.
1546
01:42:08,604 --> 01:42:09,952
Great game, sir.
1547
01:42:12,832 --> 01:42:16,264
- That's a week in the hotbox!
- Who gives a shit?
1548
01:42:17,604 --> 01:42:19,952
"THE END"
1549
01:42:20,832 --> 01:42:59,264
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