1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:17,000 2 00:01:28,376 --> 00:01:29,621 - Hey, sexy. - Hi. 3 00:01:29,621 --> 00:01:33,993 I love that dress. 4 00:01:34,028 --> 00:01:36,773 Of course you do, Lorenzo. You made it. 5 00:01:37,771 --> 00:01:40,390 - Ah, there you are. Hi. - Lena. 6 00:01:40,932 --> 00:01:43,186 - You've done it again. - Well, it's all for you, Bradlee. 7 00:01:43,394 --> 00:01:44,492 Gotta mingle. 8 00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:46,482 Oh, the girls are by the pool. 9 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:51,237 Well, well, well, Lena. So, where's this sexy boy toy of yours hiding? 10 00:01:51,405 --> 00:01:52,955 I didn't know you were a football fan, Patrick. 11 00:01:52,955 --> 00:01:56,713 I've never watched a game. I'm just a big fan of his old underwear ads. 12 00:01:57,162 --> 00:02:00,496 Well, he's probably just getting out of the shower. Let me go hurry his ass up. 13 00:02:00,957 --> 00:02:02,356 - Hi. - Hey, babe. 14 00:02:04,545 --> 00:02:07,921 Start of the fourth quarter, and Owens will throw. He's got Brown wide open! 15 00:02:08,317 --> 00:02:10,636 You have got to be kidding me! 16 00:02:10,761 --> 00:02:13,886 Honey, just let me finish the game, I'll take you to the movies. 17 00:02:14,058 --> 00:02:15,634 Take me to the movies? 18 00:02:15,893 --> 00:02:19,105 Hello! There's a huge party going on downstairs. 19 00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:21,411 Remember the catering trucks, the valet parkers? 20 00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:23,585 Oh, shit, I forgot. 21 00:02:24,569 --> 00:02:26,447 I'll tell you what you should forget about. 22 00:02:28,074 --> 00:02:29,076 Football. 23 00:02:29,284 --> 00:02:31,453 Because it's forgotten all about you. 24 00:02:32,371 --> 00:02:35,125 Now, you're gonna put this outfit on that I bought you, 25 00:02:35,291 --> 00:02:38,004 drag your drunken ass downstairs 26 00:02:38,129 --> 00:02:42,133 and mingle with my clients like a good boy. 27 00:02:42,675 --> 00:02:45,095 Who am I? Elton John? I ain't wearing that shit. 28 00:02:45,304 --> 00:02:48,391 - Yes, you are. - I'm not your trained monkey, honey. 29 00:02:48,599 --> 00:02:51,562 No. You're much more expensive than that. 30 00:02:52,062 --> 00:02:53,314 But I tell you what. 31 00:02:53,522 --> 00:02:56,109 If you're not downstairs in five minutes, 32 00:02:56,318 --> 00:02:58,237 I'm gonna throw you out of my bed, 33 00:02:58,487 --> 00:03:01,406 out of my house and out of my life. 34 00:03:01,573 --> 00:03:04,285 Then you're gonna have to pay for your own bananas. 35 00:03:05,161 --> 00:03:08,540 I'm just so mad at you because you're not wearing my gift. 36 00:03:10,125 --> 00:03:11,336 Gift? 37 00:03:11,878 --> 00:03:12,795 What gift? 38 00:03:13,004 --> 00:03:16,718 It's like a... I-love-you gift. I left it in the closet for you. 39 00:03:17,385 --> 00:03:18,553 Really? 40 00:03:18,845 --> 00:03:20,697 - Paul, I'm so excited. - Yeah. 41 00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,307 I can't believe you did this. 42 00:03:22,515 --> 00:03:25,028 - Where'd you put it? - In the back, on the right. 43 00:03:26,136 --> 00:03:27,939 Paul? Paul, what are you doing? 44 00:03:28,065 --> 00:03:30,108 I think we need some alone time, honey, 45 00:03:30,317 --> 00:03:33,029 so... I'm gonna go take a cruise in your Bentley. 46 00:03:33,237 --> 00:03:36,408 Don't you dare take my car, you drunken bastard! 47 00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:39,454 - I own you! - I love you. 48 00:04:00,103 --> 00:04:02,648 Somebody please open this damn door! Patrick? 49 00:04:02,856 --> 00:04:05,067 - Lena? - Patrick. 50 00:04:06,027 --> 00:04:07,278 What happened to you? 51 00:04:07,487 --> 00:04:10,282 He locked me in the closet and left me to die. 52 00:04:10,491 --> 00:04:12,607 Oh, my God, he is deranged! 53 00:04:12,607 --> 00:04:15,123 He thinks he can mess with me. 54 00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:16,249 911. 55 00:04:19,919 --> 00:04:23,674 Oh, man. Here come the party poopers. 56 00:04:31,892 --> 00:04:35,355 Well, well, well. I'll be damned. If it isn't Paul Crewe. 57 00:04:35,564 --> 00:04:38,191 So, what did I do wrong? Was I driving poorly? 58 00:04:38,483 --> 00:04:40,736 Nope. Nope. This car was reported stolen. 59 00:04:40,902 --> 00:04:44,198 No, no, no. It's, uh, actually my girlfriend's car. 60 00:04:44,866 --> 00:04:46,135 Shit happens. 61 00:04:46,201 --> 00:04:49,164 Shit does happen. I mean, look what happened to your ears. 62 00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:54,128 I gotta ask you something. Does he get XM Radio with those? 63 00:04:54,879 --> 00:04:57,132 Actually, they get a couple of channels. 64 00:04:59,761 --> 00:05:00,886 It's Paul Crewe. 65 00:05:01,053 --> 00:05:02,346 Another question, though. 66 00:05:02,554 --> 00:05:04,390 Santa Claus. What's he like? 67 00:05:05,933 --> 00:05:08,437 Boy, I hate to arrest a public figure like yourself, 68 00:05:08,604 --> 00:05:10,012 but, hell, I don't think you got 69 00:05:10,012 --> 00:05:12,942 too many endorsement deals to worry about now, do you? 70 00:05:13,151 --> 00:05:15,738 Now, listen here, Mr. Frodo. Don't get short with me. 71 00:05:18,658 --> 00:05:20,786 That was good. I mean, he's good. 72 00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:24,267 Man. I hope you got a lot of money for that game you threw, 73 00:05:24,267 --> 00:05:26,849 cause that was the most pathetic thing I ever saw. 74 00:05:26,849 --> 00:05:29,313 Now, step out of the vehicle, Mr. Crewe. 75 00:05:29,348 --> 00:05:32,842 Uh, don't you think I should pull the car over more? I could get sideswiped. 76 00:05:33,009 --> 00:05:34,834 You sound like you're slurring your words a bit there, Paul. 77 00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:35,823 You been drinking tonight? 78 00:05:35,823 --> 00:05:40,616 Absolutely not. Now, could you do me a favor? Hold this beer while I back it up. 79 00:05:45,566 --> 00:05:49,920 Hey, you can finish that one. I got five more. Take care, guys. 80 00:05:51,323 --> 00:05:53,325 We got a 3-94 in progress. 81 00:06:11,389 --> 00:06:13,057 Okay, remain calm. 82 00:06:13,266 --> 00:06:17,188 How you doin'? What's up? What's up? What's up? 83 00:06:20,692 --> 00:06:24,280 What you are watching is live footage of a vehicle, apparently stolen, 84 00:06:24,447 --> 00:06:25,865 being pursued by police. 85 00:06:26,073 --> 00:06:28,869 We're receiving word now that the driver of that vehicle 86 00:06:29,077 --> 00:06:31,831 is former Pittsburgh football star Paul Crewe. 87 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:33,499 Crewe, you might remember, 88 00:06:33,708 --> 00:06:37,129 was the only man ever to be indicted on federal racketeering charges 89 00:06:37,337 --> 00:06:39,631 for shaving points in a professional football game, 90 00:06:39,841 --> 00:06:41,383 although it was never fully proven. 91 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:45,300 Yeah! 92 00:06:51,355 --> 00:06:53,524 - Yello. - Do not get one more scratch 93 00:06:53,733 --> 00:06:56,110 on my car, or I will slit your throat. 94 00:06:58,572 --> 00:07:00,240 See, that's our problem, sweetie. 95 00:07:00,449 --> 00:07:02,910 You care about this car more than you do us. 96 00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:05,747 And how'd you even know there was a scratch on this baby? 97 00:07:05,872 --> 00:07:09,710 Because I am watching you on TV, as is the whole country. 98 00:07:09,919 --> 00:07:11,629 Once again, you are proving to everyone 99 00:07:11,837 --> 00:07:14,216 what a worthless piece of shit you are. 100 00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:18,389 Well, I hope they like this. 101 00:07:38,454 --> 00:07:39,914 Hey, Lena! 102 00:07:40,081 --> 00:07:43,501 I think we should start seeing other people! 103 00:07:46,170 --> 00:07:48,135 I think I'm in love. 104 00:07:50,260 --> 00:07:52,972 Good news, boys, I didn't spill my beer. 105 00:07:53,764 --> 00:07:57,102 Without question, Crewe's five-year federal probation for point-shaving 106 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,188 has been severely violated tonight. 107 00:07:59,397 --> 00:08:02,649 The future of this once-great football star looks very dark indeed. 108 00:08:24,677 --> 00:08:27,972 Long way from the big city, huh, superstar? 109 00:08:30,267 --> 00:08:32,729 Staying with the times around here, huh? 110 00:08:38,277 --> 00:08:40,488 Ain't she beau-ta-ful? 111 00:08:58,135 --> 00:08:59,929 Home sweet home, boy. 112 00:09:00,096 --> 00:09:01,383 Get on your feet. 113 00:09:05,309 --> 00:09:07,312 You're one lucky son of a bitch, Crewe. 114 00:09:07,562 --> 00:09:09,481 - Is that right? - That's right. 115 00:09:09,689 --> 00:09:11,665 See, the warden loves his football. 116 00:09:12,068 --> 00:09:15,030 Fact, he was on the winning side of your little thing. 117 00:09:15,239 --> 00:09:18,076 - Well, tell him congratulations. - But I wasn't. 118 00:09:20,621 --> 00:09:21,872 Welcome to Allenville. 119 00:09:22,288 --> 00:09:24,917 Thank you, sergeant. I'll take it from here. 120 00:09:27,796 --> 00:09:30,090 - Afternoon, inmate Crewe. - Yeah. 121 00:09:30,298 --> 00:09:32,260 Come on. Warden wants to see you. 122 00:09:32,844 --> 00:09:33,845 Let's do it. 123 00:09:34,262 --> 00:09:35,264 Move it. 124 00:09:57,666 --> 00:09:59,418 I used to play a little college ball myself. 125 00:09:59,626 --> 00:10:01,504 Down at the University of Miami. 126 00:10:01,671 --> 00:10:04,006 I bet a lot of your old teammates are locked up in here. 127 00:10:04,214 --> 00:10:07,469 No inmates from my playing days. Couple of guards, though. 128 00:10:07,677 --> 00:10:10,347 See, we got us a fine prison-guard league down here. 129 00:10:11,515 --> 00:10:14,144 It's like a... company softball team. 130 00:10:14,895 --> 00:10:16,438 Now, the warden... 131 00:10:17,608 --> 00:10:19,173 he's gonna ask you to help out. 132 00:10:19,173 --> 00:10:21,070 Okay. With what? 133 00:10:27,243 --> 00:10:28,759 That wasn't nice. 134 00:10:31,373 --> 00:10:32,651 When the warden asks you, 135 00:10:33,501 --> 00:10:36,472 - what are you gonna say? - Yes? 136 00:10:45,723 --> 00:10:48,498 You're gonna tell him "no". You got it? 137 00:10:48,770 --> 00:10:50,230 You're gonna tell the warden 138 00:10:50,396 --> 00:10:53,609 that you want nothing to do with his football fantasies. 139 00:10:54,568 --> 00:10:56,443 Not in my back yard. 140 00:10:57,864 --> 00:11:01,350 Because the warden don't run this prison. I do. 141 00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:04,604 - You understand? - Not entirely. 142 00:11:08,961 --> 00:11:13,061 Okay. I feel you, dog. I feel you. 143 00:11:15,218 --> 00:11:17,633 Paul "Wrecking" Crewe. 144 00:11:17,747 --> 00:11:19,851 I don't get to say this to my new guests very often, 145 00:11:20,059 --> 00:11:22,437 but it's an honor to have you here at this institution. 146 00:11:22,645 --> 00:11:24,814 It's an honor to be locked up here, sir. 147 00:11:26,094 --> 00:11:28,610 Oh, this is, uh, Errol Dandridge. 148 00:11:30,154 --> 00:11:32,282 Colonel Sanders been eating his own chicken. 149 00:11:32,841 --> 00:11:34,608 He's my political adviser. 150 00:11:34,608 --> 00:11:37,987 See, I've been approached by several very influential people 151 00:11:37,987 --> 00:11:41,019 wondering if I'd be interested in standing for governor. 152 00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:45,745 They see the way I run this prison, think maybe I should run this state. 153 00:11:46,078 --> 00:11:48,263 Only with less sodomy, right? 154 00:11:53,641 --> 00:11:55,226 Hopefully none. 155 00:11:55,977 --> 00:11:56,895 Sorry. 156 00:11:58,898 --> 00:12:02,354 Now, there are two things we take very seriously here in the state of Texas. 157 00:12:02,778 --> 00:12:05,533 Prison and football. 158 00:12:05,739 --> 00:12:07,245 We play a little of the latter here. 159 00:12:07,245 --> 00:12:11,950 Uh, the warden is too modest to admit that his team is rather good. 160 00:12:12,205 --> 00:12:13,581 But not good enough. 161 00:12:14,291 --> 00:12:16,881 Five years since our last championship. 162 00:12:17,461 --> 00:12:18,413 Five years. 163 00:12:18,413 --> 00:12:21,785 Now, I've worked real hard, pulled strings, 164 00:12:21,785 --> 00:12:24,444 called in quite a few favors to get you here, Paul. 165 00:12:25,596 --> 00:12:27,021 Now, why would you go and do that? 166 00:12:27,021 --> 00:12:30,803 Because I am convinced that you can get us back on track. 167 00:12:33,231 --> 00:12:36,841 I haven't played football in I don't know how long. I don't really want to. 168 00:12:37,444 --> 00:12:40,338 You wouldn't be playing, Paul. Just... just consulting. 169 00:12:40,865 --> 00:12:43,369 Anyone who was once the MVP of the National Football League 170 00:12:43,577 --> 00:12:45,898 must have a great deal of expertise to offer. 171 00:12:46,538 --> 00:12:49,641 Captain, what would you say to Mr. Crewe looking in, 172 00:12:49,641 --> 00:12:52,239 giving us the benefit of his experience? 173 00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:56,234 Oh, I think that's a real good idea, warden. We can use all the help we can get. 174 00:12:57,072 --> 00:13:01,037 Well, then, it's all settled. Whatcha say, Paul? 175 00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:05,248 I appreciate the offer, but I'm gonna have to pass. 176 00:13:09,345 --> 00:13:11,572 Now, I can assure you 177 00:13:11,572 --> 00:13:16,262 that your time here will be a whole lot easier if you just participate. 178 00:13:17,910 --> 00:13:21,416 I just wanna do my time and go home. Nothing else. 179 00:13:24,710 --> 00:13:26,767 If you'll excuse us, Mr. Crewe. 180 00:13:27,125 --> 00:13:28,882 Captain Knauer, you can stay. 181 00:13:33,722 --> 00:13:35,121 Sit down! 182 00:13:37,602 --> 00:13:41,414 I used to love your underwear commercials. 183 00:13:42,316 --> 00:13:43,464 Thank you very much. 184 00:13:43,464 --> 00:13:47,478 My ex-husband wore the same brand of tighty whities. 185 00:13:49,156 --> 00:13:52,845 He didn't fill 'em out quite as well as you, though. 186 00:13:53,287 --> 00:13:56,356 Special effects. Hollywood. Not all me. 187 00:13:56,356 --> 00:13:59,790 Oh, I doubt that very seriously. 188 00:14:00,004 --> 00:14:02,478 Well, then get him enthusiastic, damn it! 189 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:04,809 Come on, get up. 190 00:14:05,051 --> 00:14:06,900 How'd it go in there? We all set now? 191 00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:08,537 Oh, yeah, we're real tight. 192 00:14:21,239 --> 00:14:24,243 Only the finest for you, superstar. 193 00:14:28,956 --> 00:14:30,394 I was just playing. 194 00:14:36,173 --> 00:14:37,466 I ain't gonna forget you, Crewe. 195 00:14:37,675 --> 00:14:39,433 Hey, yo, you owe me money on that game, punk! 196 00:14:39,433 --> 00:14:40,918 Better watch yourself, Mr. Football! 197 00:14:41,212 --> 00:14:42,579 Bitch! 198 00:14:49,147 --> 00:14:51,025 Yeah, you better run, woman. 199 00:14:53,945 --> 00:14:55,005 Yo, football. 200 00:14:55,629 --> 00:14:57,018 Take a seat. 201 00:14:57,867 --> 00:14:58,730 Thanks. 202 00:14:58,730 --> 00:15:01,882 You know, I have never seen one inmate just walk in here 203 00:15:01,882 --> 00:15:05,313 and be unanimously hated by the entire population. 204 00:15:05,313 --> 00:15:07,655 - I ain't never seen it. - How'd I get so lucky? 205 00:15:07,655 --> 00:15:09,544 Well, you could've robbed banks, you could've sold crack, 206 00:15:09,544 --> 00:15:12,312 you could've stole your grandmama's pension, and nobody would 'ave cared. 207 00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:15,971 But shaving points off a football game? Man, that's just un-American. 208 00:15:16,138 --> 00:15:17,921 - You play football? - Me? Nah. 209 00:15:17,921 --> 00:15:21,315 I suck so bad, they used to pick me after the white kids. 210 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:24,814 Used to be mad too. It's like "I can't believe I picked a nigga that can't play." 211 00:15:24,953 --> 00:15:27,981 - Caretaker. - Paul Crewe. 212 00:15:27,981 --> 00:15:30,575 Whatever your pleasure, I can facilitate. 213 00:15:30,575 --> 00:15:33,886 You need weed, you need meth... Hey, you need Prozac, I'm your man. 214 00:15:33,886 --> 00:15:36,162 I know how you white boys always deal with that depression. 215 00:15:36,162 --> 00:15:38,340 I mean, me personally, I don't understand what you white boys 216 00:15:38,340 --> 00:15:41,044 all depressed about. Hey, you're white. Smile. 217 00:15:41,442 --> 00:15:44,919 And for a small fee, I can even get you McDonald's. 218 00:15:44,919 --> 00:15:46,876 - Really? - Yeah, that's right. Mickey D's. 219 00:15:46,876 --> 00:15:48,677 My man Cheeseburger Eddy got the hookup. 220 00:15:48,677 --> 00:15:49,458 Cheeseburger Eddy? 221 00:15:49,822 --> 00:15:51,549 That's right. We can get our McFlurry on. 222 00:15:51,549 --> 00:15:53,472 Enjoy it, fat man. 223 00:15:53,851 --> 00:15:55,780 What about the love of a beautiful woman? 224 00:15:55,780 --> 00:15:57,162 Well, you're gonna have to lower your standards 225 00:15:57,162 --> 00:16:00,131 on the beautiful part and on the woman part. 226 00:16:00,735 --> 00:16:02,209 Hey. 227 00:16:02,946 --> 00:16:04,259 Let's just stick with the cheeseburgers. 228 00:16:04,259 --> 00:16:07,675 Oh, they ugly now, but in eight months, he gonna look like Beyoncé. 229 00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:08,717 No, thanks. 230 00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:10,617 Now, here's the most important part. 231 00:16:11,048 --> 00:16:13,471 You can't let these guys scare you. You can't let them punk you. 232 00:16:13,471 --> 00:16:16,362 Cause if you do that, you gonna end up being somebody's bitch. 233 00:16:16,362 --> 00:16:19,388 Don't want that. Thanks for the advice. 234 00:16:25,349 --> 00:16:27,639 Hey. Let me take that tray out for you. 235 00:16:27,934 --> 00:16:28,932 I ain't done eating yet. 236 00:16:28,932 --> 00:16:31,001 Oh, you're not? I'll give it back to you, then. 237 00:16:32,148 --> 00:16:33,650 You're dead! 238 00:16:42,911 --> 00:16:44,373 Hornet's Nest! 239 00:16:56,104 --> 00:16:58,170 - Everybody stay down. - Stay quiet! 240 00:17:03,098 --> 00:17:04,635 Come on, Crewe, get up. 241 00:17:05,606 --> 00:17:07,069 Get up, superstar. 242 00:17:07,983 --> 00:17:08,561 Yes, sir. 243 00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:11,869 You think you can do anything you want around here, don't you? 244 00:17:11,869 --> 00:17:14,781 Well, you are no different than any other piece of shit 245 00:17:14,781 --> 00:17:16,657 that calls this place home. 246 00:17:16,750 --> 00:17:20,148 Really? These guys think you're a dumb redneck too? 247 00:17:21,643 --> 00:17:23,664 Ooh, girl, that's your new boo. 248 00:17:30,552 --> 00:17:32,681 You better cut that shit out. It's gettin' old. 249 00:17:33,140 --> 00:17:36,705 - That's gonna cost you. - Lookin' forward to it. 250 00:18:28,331 --> 00:18:30,100 Wake up, Sleeping Beauty. 251 00:18:32,615 --> 00:18:33,945 Hey, superdick. 252 00:18:35,478 --> 00:18:39,027 Warden's wondering if your stay in the hotbox has changed your mind. 253 00:18:39,436 --> 00:18:40,896 How long have I been in here? 254 00:18:40,896 --> 00:18:43,926 One week. Wanna go for two? Huh? 255 00:18:50,904 --> 00:18:52,874 How'd you find these guys anyways? 256 00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:54,164 Recruitment, boy. 257 00:18:54,447 --> 00:18:57,385 When college stars don't get drafted, they need a place to go. 258 00:18:57,385 --> 00:19:00,486 A job, money, security... 259 00:19:00,486 --> 00:19:03,343 Who drank all the damn Gatorade?! 260 00:19:04,209 --> 00:19:06,977 - Damn it! - And apparently steroids? 261 00:19:07,433 --> 00:19:10,968 Look, seems like you got all the talent you'd want. So why do you need me? 262 00:19:10,968 --> 00:19:12,719 Well, now, you might find this hard to believe, 263 00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:15,666 but there's some folks here in the prison league don't care for me very much. 264 00:19:15,666 --> 00:19:18,700 - You, warden? - Yeah, well, they thought it might be amusing 265 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:21,646 to schedule the defending league champs as our first game. 266 00:19:21,779 --> 00:19:24,243 And me? Well, I thought an old pro like yourself 267 00:19:24,243 --> 00:19:28,214 might have some training-camp tricks, drills, insights to offer up. 268 00:19:28,214 --> 00:19:30,005 Give us the competitive edge. 269 00:19:30,342 --> 00:19:34,095 All right. Relatively simple. You need a tune-up game. 270 00:19:34,095 --> 00:19:35,108 A tune-up game? 271 00:19:35,108 --> 00:19:38,078 Yeah. In college, we'd start every season against the Appalachian State 272 00:19:38,078 --> 00:19:39,511 or some slack Division 2 team. 273 00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:42,445 Kick the living shit out of them. Get their confidence up. 274 00:19:44,368 --> 00:19:45,918 You know something, Paul? 275 00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:48,456 - You've just given me an inspiration. - That's great. What? 276 00:19:48,456 --> 00:19:51,321 You're gonna assemble a team to play the first game against us. 277 00:19:51,321 --> 00:19:55,099 And you, Mr. Crewe, are gonna be the quarterback. 278 00:19:55,099 --> 00:19:56,331 I don't think so. 279 00:19:56,331 --> 00:19:57,734 Let me tell you something. 280 00:19:57,734 --> 00:20:00,996 In my prison, to get along, you gotta go along. 281 00:20:00,996 --> 00:20:03,160 I just wanna do my three years and be done. 282 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,965 Three years is before you assaulted captain Knauer. 283 00:20:06,418 --> 00:20:10,301 Now, you could be with us for a very long time, Mr. Crewe. 284 00:20:12,125 --> 00:20:13,512 Fine, I'll do it. 285 00:20:14,540 --> 00:20:15,963 Good choice. 286 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,898 But, uh, one condition, though. 287 00:20:18,898 --> 00:20:22,069 Gotta promise me to keep captain Knauer off my back. 288 00:20:22,069 --> 00:20:23,193 It's a deal. 289 00:20:23,193 --> 00:20:25,631 Now, you got four weeks to assemble a team and train 'em. 290 00:20:25,631 --> 00:20:28,815 What, are we gonna have a half-hour a day to practice with a Nerf ball? 291 00:20:28,815 --> 00:20:32,415 Oh, I'll make sure my boys allow you sufficient freedom, within these walls, 292 00:20:32,415 --> 00:20:34,214 to get your team in shape. 293 00:20:36,649 --> 00:20:42,036 What's this? Foot-ball tree-outs. 294 00:20:42,036 --> 00:20:43,175 What the hell is a "tree-out"? 295 00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:44,906 "Try-out," you half a meatball. 296 00:20:45,282 --> 00:20:48,129 - Now, what's this football thing about, man? - Crewe's gettin' a team together. 297 00:20:48,129 --> 00:20:50,432 - To play against who? - The guards. 298 00:20:50,882 --> 00:20:54,474 Now, I don't know about y'all... but I occasionally have the impulse 299 00:20:54,474 --> 00:20:57,371 to physically assault one of our finer correctional officers. 300 00:20:57,371 --> 00:20:59,645 Yeah? Well, how the hell we gonna get to do that? 301 00:20:59,645 --> 00:21:02,156 Just show up at the "tree-outs", you big, dumb bitch. 302 00:21:03,932 --> 00:21:05,241 Do the girls get to play? 303 00:21:05,241 --> 00:21:08,068 Oh, we're playing footballs, not... balls-balls. 304 00:21:08,243 --> 00:21:11,691 This is bullshit. Just another chance for the guards to beat on us. 305 00:21:11,691 --> 00:21:14,884 Don't you idiots get it? We could get a free shot at the guards. 306 00:21:15,202 --> 00:21:16,988 This is our turn. We could beat up on 'em. 307 00:21:16,988 --> 00:21:18,527 We could kill them. 308 00:21:19,732 --> 00:21:20,646 Kill 'em. 309 00:21:26,688 --> 00:21:29,574 You know, MVP sold his own teammates out. 310 00:21:30,314 --> 00:21:32,689 What do you think he's gonna do to you, fools? 311 00:21:34,206 --> 00:21:37,260 And that's the truth. With some cheese on it. 312 00:21:38,317 --> 00:21:40,302 There ain't no meat loaf between these buns. 313 00:21:40,302 --> 00:21:42,719 Yo, man, that's my flier, man! I worked hard on it! 314 00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:45,373 You see? He ran like a little bitch, right? You saw that, right? 315 00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:48,770 Yo, team needs you. Team needs you. 316 00:21:48,770 --> 00:21:51,546 You sh... Come to the tr... Come to the tree-outs. 317 00:21:56,598 --> 00:21:59,214 Crappy field, shit-ass equipment... 318 00:21:59,254 --> 00:22:02,523 Hey, man, at least we got some world-class players over there. 319 00:22:04,847 --> 00:22:06,434 Forty-five. 320 00:22:07,266 --> 00:22:08,832 Forty-six. 321 00:22:10,144 --> 00:22:11,224 Forty-seven. 322 00:22:11,224 --> 00:22:12,906 He might make the team. 323 00:22:12,928 --> 00:22:15,102 Well, if we gotta cut 'im, you're doin' it. 324 00:22:15,548 --> 00:22:17,257 Forty-nine. 325 00:22:17,925 --> 00:22:19,364 Fifty! 326 00:22:19,990 --> 00:22:21,116 - All right, man. - Good job, man. 327 00:22:21,325 --> 00:22:23,477 Well, well, well. You a football player? 328 00:22:23,688 --> 00:22:26,453 Oh, no. I never played no football, mister. 329 00:22:26,453 --> 00:22:29,419 So, what happened? You read the flier, thought it looked like some fun? 330 00:22:29,419 --> 00:22:31,606 - Oh, I can't read. - Oh, don't worry. 331 00:22:31,606 --> 00:22:33,158 Reading's for rich people. 332 00:22:33,927 --> 00:22:37,456 Just so you know, we're putting together a football team. Love you to join. 333 00:22:37,704 --> 00:22:39,789 Will you teach me to football? 334 00:22:39,789 --> 00:22:41,794 Sure we'll teach you to football. Won't we, Caretaker? 335 00:22:41,794 --> 00:22:44,353 Hey, I'll teach you anything. Just don't eat me. 336 00:22:45,288 --> 00:22:46,538 Okay. 337 00:22:48,584 --> 00:22:50,757 Down, Shrek. Down! 338 00:22:51,559 --> 00:22:55,861 Okay. Bring it in. Whoever's tryin' out for the team, wake up. 339 00:22:55,861 --> 00:22:57,696 Can you give a brother a little hustle? 340 00:22:57,893 --> 00:22:59,172 Very good. 341 00:22:59,273 --> 00:23:02,074 For those of you who don't know who I am, I'm Paul Crewe. 342 00:23:02,074 --> 00:23:05,857 I'm gonna be your coach, your captain, your quarterback... 343 00:23:05,857 --> 00:23:08,253 Hey, you haven't played in years. Why can't I be quarterback, huh? 344 00:23:08,253 --> 00:23:10,324 - You're right. Let's see what you got. - All right. 345 00:23:10,501 --> 00:23:12,546 - Hit me, I'm open. - Hike, hike! Hike! 346 00:23:12,982 --> 00:23:14,740 That's why. Now, sit down and shut up. 347 00:23:14,740 --> 00:23:16,791 It slipped. I just ate popcorn. 348 00:23:16,870 --> 00:23:19,709 Question: Any of you gentlemen ever play football before? 349 00:23:20,952 --> 00:23:23,044 - You did? Where? - Kansas State. 350 00:23:23,044 --> 00:23:24,983 Are you shittin' me? For coach Snyder? 351 00:23:24,983 --> 00:23:26,980 Ah, Kansas State Prison. 352 00:23:27,678 --> 00:23:31,148 Now, I hear they have the softest mattresses out there. 353 00:23:31,148 --> 00:23:32,495 Yeah, they do. They do. 354 00:23:32,495 --> 00:23:34,815 Not as soft as the ones at West Texas Mental Institution. 355 00:23:34,815 --> 00:23:37,369 - Really? - All right, let's finish this conversation later. 356 00:23:37,369 --> 00:23:40,185 For now, I wanna see what you got out there. 357 00:23:40,185 --> 00:23:42,615 Uhh, we'll grade them on a scale of one to ten. 358 00:23:42,615 --> 00:23:43,278 Yeah. 359 00:23:43,313 --> 00:23:44,974 Move it! Hustle, hustle, hustle! 360 00:23:45,463 --> 00:23:48,439 Give these guys sixes. Give these guys fives... 361 00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:50,792 Good, good. Give them threes. 362 00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:52,214 Very nice! 363 00:23:53,542 --> 00:23:56,600 - Aren't we missin' somebody? - Where is the Kansas State guy? 364 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:02,731 You assholes better not cut me! I'm still on this team! 365 00:24:03,508 --> 00:24:06,276 - Negative two. - All right, go with negative two. 366 00:24:06,681 --> 00:24:09,660 Hey! Somebody bring me a Diet Coke! 367 00:24:09,660 --> 00:24:10,949 - Let's do this! - That's it! 368 00:24:12,343 --> 00:24:13,389 Five. 369 00:24:14,535 --> 00:24:16,261 Good. Seven. 370 00:24:17,550 --> 00:24:19,477 Stupid tire! You're a fricking tire! 371 00:24:19,477 --> 00:24:22,516 You think you're better than me?! I'll kick your ass! 372 00:24:24,090 --> 00:24:24,957 Three. 373 00:24:26,859 --> 00:24:28,104 And a half? 374 00:24:28,309 --> 00:24:30,449 Yeah. That's better. 375 00:24:30,449 --> 00:24:31,786 Okay. Good. 376 00:24:33,279 --> 00:24:34,723 Yeah. Hit that bag, man. 377 00:24:35,129 --> 00:24:36,004 Four. 378 00:24:38,641 --> 00:24:40,117 - Five, I don't know. - I go. 379 00:24:40,311 --> 00:24:41,759 Come on, Switowski! 380 00:24:43,822 --> 00:24:46,071 Daddy! 381 00:24:48,379 --> 00:24:49,244 Oh, man! 382 00:24:49,339 --> 00:24:50,868 - Look at that. - He got it off the hinge. 383 00:24:50,868 --> 00:24:53,369 - I think that's a ten. - Let's go with a ten. 384 00:24:53,369 --> 00:24:57,025 I'm sorry. I brokeded your toy. 385 00:24:57,122 --> 00:25:00,195 No, that's a good thing. You should have a victory hug with Caretaker. 386 00:25:00,195 --> 00:25:02,706 What? What you talkin' about, man? Hey! 387 00:25:05,313 --> 00:25:06,493 Asshole! 388 00:25:07,949 --> 00:25:10,953 Okay, fellas, it's pretty simple. You do a buttonhook. 389 00:25:10,953 --> 00:25:13,217 The rest of you guys block for me. I'll take care of the rest. 390 00:25:13,217 --> 00:25:15,626 Okay? On "go". On "go". 391 00:25:15,791 --> 00:25:17,458 Ready? Break! 392 00:25:20,464 --> 00:25:22,107 We'll work on that. 393 00:25:22,169 --> 00:25:25,543 Okay, half speed on this one, guys. Slow and easy. 394 00:25:25,679 --> 00:25:26,738 Ready?! 395 00:25:27,723 --> 00:25:28,610 Go! 396 00:25:35,895 --> 00:25:37,087 Stop it! 397 00:25:42,526 --> 00:25:46,592 Stop the violence! Can't we all get along? 398 00:25:55,818 --> 00:25:57,932 - Hey, Paul. - Unger. 399 00:25:57,932 --> 00:25:59,805 - Team's looking great. - Oh, yeah. 400 00:25:59,805 --> 00:26:01,781 - So are you. - Yep. Working on it. 401 00:26:01,781 --> 00:26:06,835 The blood of the guards is gonna flow like the rivers of ancient Babylon. 402 00:26:06,835 --> 00:26:10,270 That's good news. Unger, you're the man. 403 00:26:11,685 --> 00:26:15,459 Good job today. You're all startin' to look really sharp out there. Yeah. 404 00:26:15,459 --> 00:26:16,997 See you tomorrow. 405 00:26:17,364 --> 00:26:19,772 - We're gonna suck. - Yeah. No doubt about it. 406 00:26:33,913 --> 00:26:35,794 You look like you could use a little help. 407 00:26:35,794 --> 00:26:40,149 No offense, my man, but, uh, you're a little... seasoned. 408 00:26:40,149 --> 00:26:41,176 Seasoned? 409 00:26:41,176 --> 00:26:44,824 I'm not asking to play. I'll coach. I'm Nate Scarborough. 410 00:26:44,824 --> 00:26:46,400 Nate Scarborough? 411 00:26:47,453 --> 00:26:49,836 The Heisman Trophy winner from Oklahoma? 412 00:26:50,514 --> 00:26:53,482 The inmate from cellblock D. 413 00:26:53,811 --> 00:26:56,753 But about a hundred years ago, when I could run and gun, 414 00:26:57,356 --> 00:27:01,099 - yeah, I was a Sooner then. - I heard you were dead. 415 00:27:01,269 --> 00:27:05,635 No, I ain't dead. I've been right here, rotting. 416 00:27:05,889 --> 00:27:09,707 Waiting for a chance to get back at those sadistic guards. 417 00:27:09,716 --> 00:27:12,403 Waiting. For this. 418 00:27:12,403 --> 00:27:13,939 Well, coach, as you can see, 419 00:27:13,939 --> 00:27:16,483 we don't exactly have the cream of the crop to work with here. 420 00:27:16,483 --> 00:27:18,754 Well, what are we gonna do? How are we gonna find players? 421 00:27:18,978 --> 00:27:21,071 How'd they get you to go to Florida State? 422 00:27:21,901 --> 00:27:23,616 They recruited me. 423 00:27:24,661 --> 00:27:26,552 I'll get the strippers. 424 00:27:29,324 --> 00:27:32,673 Well, now, Lindsay, this isn't about credit or congratulations. 425 00:27:32,694 --> 00:27:35,703 This is about giving men who've made mistakes in their lives 426 00:27:35,703 --> 00:27:37,956 an opportunity to rise above themselves. 427 00:27:37,956 --> 00:27:40,379 To move beyond the bars of containment. 428 00:27:41,231 --> 00:27:41,707 Say what? 429 00:27:42,916 --> 00:27:45,328 What I would do to you. 430 00:27:48,234 --> 00:27:49,367 Meow! 431 00:27:56,702 --> 00:27:58,773 Yeah. Nice boot, skin man. 432 00:27:58,773 --> 00:28:01,018 Hey, Crewe, why does he get to be the kicker? I was All-State, man. 433 00:28:01,018 --> 00:28:02,213 Let's see what you got. 434 00:28:03,162 --> 00:28:04,786 That's why, you dumb-ass. 435 00:28:05,058 --> 00:28:06,597 Go do some laps. 436 00:28:06,728 --> 00:28:08,427 I heard you boys needed to see me? 437 00:28:08,427 --> 00:28:10,512 Yeah. I want you to meet Skitchy. 438 00:28:10,512 --> 00:28:13,307 Hey, dog. Check that building over there. 439 00:28:13,391 --> 00:28:15,317 They keep all the records in the basement. 440 00:28:15,317 --> 00:28:17,749 He's been here so long, he knows where everything is. 441 00:28:17,749 --> 00:28:19,722 That ain't necessarily a good thing, is it? 442 00:28:19,722 --> 00:28:23,527 I had a parole date in '86. But I got in a tussle with a guard and, uh... 443 00:28:23,789 --> 00:28:25,352 One punch and it went away. 444 00:28:25,352 --> 00:28:27,037 Twenty extra years for one punch? 445 00:28:27,037 --> 00:28:29,429 Well, unfortunately for him, the guard he punched 446 00:28:29,429 --> 00:28:31,370 just happens to be the warden now. 447 00:28:31,370 --> 00:28:34,658 - Oh, shit. Warden Hazen? - "Oh, shit" is right. 448 00:28:36,410 --> 00:28:38,281 Warden, fight in the yard. Send backup. 449 00:28:39,354 --> 00:28:40,700 Right on time. 450 00:28:40,700 --> 00:28:42,822 - Let's do it. - Let's do it. 451 00:28:47,343 --> 00:28:49,758 Ain't you guys glad you got a black man for a friend? 452 00:28:49,758 --> 00:28:51,499 - Hell, yeah. - Come on. 453 00:28:58,626 --> 00:29:01,135 Hazen has a rating system for every con. 454 00:29:01,135 --> 00:29:02,629 What's three stars? 455 00:29:02,629 --> 00:29:07,039 The more prone to violence that the inmate is, the more stars he gets. 456 00:29:07,039 --> 00:29:08,687 Five stars is the max. 457 00:29:08,687 --> 00:29:10,121 - I didn't know that. - Yeah. 458 00:29:10,121 --> 00:29:12,602 Let's see how many stars my maniacal ass got. 459 00:29:14,607 --> 00:29:15,602 Wow! 460 00:29:15,691 --> 00:29:19,346 Wha... Ha-ha-half a star? That's gotta be a mistake. Check it again. Check it again. 461 00:29:19,346 --> 00:29:21,416 You're about as maniacal as a boxful of kittens. 462 00:29:21,416 --> 00:29:22,490 Come on, that's not funny, man. 463 00:29:22,490 --> 00:29:25,244 I'm-I'm gonna have to stab somebody or somethin'. Get my rep up. 464 00:29:25,244 --> 00:29:28,842 Why don't we have a maniacal pillow fight tonight? That could get it up some. 465 00:29:29,113 --> 00:29:31,434 Yeah. And we can sell it to pay-per-view. 466 00:29:31,434 --> 00:29:34,009 Superstar versus Half-a-Star. 467 00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:37,837 Why don't you shut up before I slit your throat and watch the dust come out? 468 00:29:37,837 --> 00:29:39,807 Come on, guys, we only got a couple minutes. 469 00:29:40,256 --> 00:29:41,310 How 'bout this guy? 470 00:29:41,310 --> 00:29:44,142 Damn, this fool got the chair three times, ain't died yet. 471 00:29:44,142 --> 00:29:46,112 Well, we may not have the most talented team, 472 00:29:46,112 --> 00:29:49,153 but we will definitely have the meanest. 473 00:30:22,458 --> 00:30:25,158 - What's he doing that for? - Cause he's a freak. 474 00:30:25,878 --> 00:30:29,036 Hey, Sasquatch! Someone's here to see you! 475 00:30:29,036 --> 00:30:31,279 Not too smart on your part. 476 00:30:34,488 --> 00:30:35,500 Hey. 477 00:30:36,748 --> 00:30:38,906 How's the headbanging comin'? 478 00:30:41,070 --> 00:30:43,436 You're bleeding. Just so you know. 479 00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:48,019 People have told me that you and I look a lot alike, 480 00:30:48,019 --> 00:30:50,208 so I wanted to see for myself. 481 00:30:52,155 --> 00:30:53,991 I'm gonna take a piss. 482 00:30:54,622 --> 00:30:57,128 You scared him away, dumbshit. 483 00:31:02,658 --> 00:31:05,541 You're kidding. Five-star Torres likes The View? 484 00:31:05,737 --> 00:31:06,938 No, just Joy Behar. 485 00:31:06,938 --> 00:31:09,956 The good news is she can breast-feed standing up. That's it. 486 00:31:12,043 --> 00:31:14,312 Where does she come up with this shit? 487 00:31:15,561 --> 00:31:18,548 I'm a Star Jones man myself. I love that big bitch. 488 00:31:18,974 --> 00:31:20,334 That was, like, the furthest thing. 489 00:31:20,334 --> 00:31:22,716 Well, I-I got married so young, so, I mean, I... 490 00:31:22,716 --> 00:31:24,821 they weren't pressuring me, the society was pressuring me... 491 00:31:24,821 --> 00:31:26,316 Mr. Torres. 492 00:31:26,491 --> 00:31:28,918 Us convicts are startin' up a football team. 493 00:31:28,918 --> 00:31:30,518 Not interested. 494 00:31:30,853 --> 00:31:32,512 We're playing the guards. 495 00:31:33,830 --> 00:31:37,126 - Walk away. - Good idea. 496 00:31:37,806 --> 00:31:39,031 0 for 2. 497 00:31:40,092 --> 00:31:41,598 You're putting the pressure on her right now. 498 00:31:41,675 --> 00:31:43,272 Show's over, amigo. 499 00:31:43,399 --> 00:31:46,556 I still got 15 minutes of Joy Behar. 500 00:31:46,556 --> 00:31:50,744 Well, I'm cuttin' you short. Back to your cell, asswipe. 501 00:31:51,187 --> 00:31:52,647 Hey, white boy. 502 00:31:54,848 --> 00:31:59,145 - Cherryhead gonna play? - Yes, he is. 503 00:32:04,984 --> 00:32:06,587 Crewe, don't forget, I'm gonna be open. 504 00:32:07,023 --> 00:32:08,894 Green 40! Hut! 505 00:32:14,224 --> 00:32:15,335 Damn! 506 00:32:17,226 --> 00:32:19,267 Brucie, Brucie! You all right? You breathin'? 507 00:32:20,300 --> 00:32:23,482 I got a bird. His name is Ronnie. 508 00:32:23,482 --> 00:32:26,124 Well, tell Ronnie you got knocked the fuck out. 509 00:32:29,130 --> 00:32:33,276 Wow, no bullshit. Real football? Against the guards? 510 00:32:33,276 --> 00:32:34,688 Full contact. 511 00:32:34,722 --> 00:32:36,729 Captain Knauer is their quarterback? 512 00:32:37,675 --> 00:32:40,410 - Yep. - So I get to... tackle him? 513 00:32:40,410 --> 00:32:43,831 Yeah. You can, uh, either tackle him or hit him over the head with that hammer. 514 00:32:44,868 --> 00:32:47,556 I wanna hurt 'im. Not kill 'im. 515 00:32:47,556 --> 00:32:49,655 Let's get out of here before that thing bites somebody. 516 00:32:49,655 --> 00:32:52,955 All right. We'll see you and your pet iguana at practice. 517 00:32:54,217 --> 00:32:55,517 Down, set! 518 00:32:58,762 --> 00:33:00,405 Hut! Hut! 519 00:33:03,723 --> 00:33:04,645 Hey! 520 00:33:05,996 --> 00:33:07,641 - Hit me. - Get rid of it. 521 00:33:08,235 --> 00:33:09,556 Get rid of it! 522 00:33:11,486 --> 00:33:13,048 He didn't get rid of it. 523 00:33:14,931 --> 00:33:16,515 Sacked your ass. 524 00:33:17,234 --> 00:33:19,445 Somebody's gotta get open, guys. 525 00:33:19,593 --> 00:33:21,153 You got hammered by the hammer. 526 00:33:21,153 --> 00:33:24,399 I think I felt it on my leg. We gotta get some speed, man. 527 00:33:24,399 --> 00:33:26,159 What'd you expect? You got no brothers out there. 528 00:33:26,159 --> 00:33:27,926 What are you talking about? We got Switowski. 529 00:33:28,906 --> 00:33:31,186 Switowski? That's one brother. 530 00:33:31,186 --> 00:33:33,212 That's a lonely nigga. This ain't hockey. 531 00:33:33,685 --> 00:33:35,984 You want some speed, you know where to go. 532 00:33:43,888 --> 00:33:46,551 Hey, yo, check out this fake Slim Shady, man. 533 00:33:47,699 --> 00:33:49,875 I knew you couldn't resist my shit. 534 00:33:50,053 --> 00:33:52,330 I got the shakes that'll make you quake. 535 00:33:52,330 --> 00:33:55,038 I got the fries that'll cross your eyes. 536 00:33:55,038 --> 00:33:56,932 I got the burgers that'll... 537 00:33:59,558 --> 00:34:00,926 I just got burgers. 538 00:34:00,926 --> 00:34:02,475 I'm all right. Thank you. 539 00:34:02,562 --> 00:34:06,620 Just, uh, wanted to talk to you fellas about possibly joining the football team. 540 00:34:07,180 --> 00:34:08,835 The only game we'd play with you... 541 00:34:08,835 --> 00:34:13,729 is Slap the Point-Shaving White Boy Till He Cries Like a Baby-Back Bitch. 542 00:34:13,866 --> 00:34:17,825 Baby-back bitch, baby-back bitch Baby-back bitch. 543 00:34:17,825 --> 00:34:20,210 - That's a big-ass robot. - Yeah. 544 00:34:24,579 --> 00:34:26,188 You gonna help me out here? 545 00:34:28,604 --> 00:34:30,287 Thank you, Half-a-Star. 546 00:34:30,739 --> 00:34:32,850 Just so you know, we are playing the guards. 547 00:34:32,850 --> 00:34:35,512 That ain't a team. That's just a bunch of dumb rednecks 548 00:34:35,512 --> 00:34:37,938 giving themselves excuses to grab each other. 549 00:34:39,186 --> 00:34:41,489 This guy must be quite the athlete, huh? 550 00:34:41,767 --> 00:34:45,235 You risk bringing your ass in the jungle because you know I am. 551 00:34:45,235 --> 00:34:48,457 Yeah, so you'd beat me in a game of one-on-one, right? 552 00:34:48,529 --> 00:34:51,795 - What? - I think it's time for you to get steppin'. 553 00:34:51,795 --> 00:34:53,657 How's this, though? One game. 554 00:34:53,893 --> 00:34:58,508 I beat you, you guys play for the team. You beat me, I'll leave you alone. 555 00:34:58,959 --> 00:35:01,505 Take that. Take that, Deac. 556 00:35:01,713 --> 00:35:02,929 This fool ain't nothing but a thing, baby. 557 00:35:04,067 --> 00:35:06,774 - Ball, dog. - Ball up! 558 00:35:06,963 --> 00:35:09,711 - Can Crewe play ball? - He's a natural athlete. 559 00:35:09,711 --> 00:35:12,908 So is Greg Louganis, but I bet you he'd get his ass whupped out here. 560 00:35:13,215 --> 00:35:16,215 - Game's 11. Call your own fouls. - Okay. 561 00:35:17,524 --> 00:35:18,994 - Come on, come on. - Give it to him, Deac! 562 00:35:23,896 --> 00:35:26,618 - Did I get you? - No, that was clean. 563 00:35:26,873 --> 00:35:28,570 He'll be a'it. Call his mama. 564 00:35:28,774 --> 00:35:31,192 - If I foul you, tell me, dog. - Okay, baby. 565 00:35:35,071 --> 00:35:36,577 Take this f... Take this foul. 566 00:35:40,097 --> 00:35:41,952 What happened there? I think it's my ball, right? 567 00:35:41,952 --> 00:35:42,782 All right. 568 00:35:43,161 --> 00:35:44,770 Get up! Get up, Deac! 569 00:35:45,345 --> 00:35:46,577 Come on, Paul! 570 00:35:46,577 --> 00:35:47,929 - Calm down. - What? 571 00:35:47,929 --> 00:35:49,838 Now, don't stir-don't stir up the brothers, now. Come on. 572 00:35:55,010 --> 00:35:55,872 Come on, Deacon! 573 00:36:00,246 --> 00:36:01,415 Did I get you, dog? 574 00:36:01,415 --> 00:36:04,157 Hell, no, baby. That was clean. Good D. 575 00:36:04,330 --> 00:36:05,715 I thought he didn't wanna get hurt. 576 00:36:05,951 --> 00:36:08,426 It ain't about getting hurt. It's about pride. 577 00:36:08,426 --> 00:36:10,571 I bet you he's pretty proud right now. 578 00:36:44,164 --> 00:36:47,226 It ain't easy being cheesy! 579 00:36:53,916 --> 00:36:55,788 Did I get you? Did I get you? 580 00:36:55,788 --> 00:36:58,273 - No, I think I'm okay, baby. - I didn't get you, did I? 581 00:37:05,431 --> 00:37:06,957 That's traveling, bitch. 582 00:37:17,215 --> 00:37:18,584 You keep comin', huh? 583 00:37:19,949 --> 00:37:22,472 Game point, baby. How you want the game put up? 584 00:37:29,391 --> 00:37:30,362 Foul. 585 00:37:32,144 --> 00:37:34,408 That was a bullshit call! 586 00:37:37,179 --> 00:37:39,403 My court, my ball. 587 00:37:50,140 --> 00:37:52,688 A'it right, y'all. Let Deac speak! 588 00:37:54,421 --> 00:37:56,348 Nice spanking that ass, dog. 589 00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:00,029 - Now, get stepping. - Hold up. 590 00:38:03,809 --> 00:38:07,012 - Y'all got a runnin' back? - Not any good ones. 591 00:38:07,644 --> 00:38:09,227 No disrespect, Deac... 592 00:38:09,826 --> 00:38:11,826 but any man that can take that kind of beatin' out here, 593 00:38:12,598 --> 00:38:14,936 I can't wait to see what he can do in a contact sport. 594 00:38:15,403 --> 00:38:17,061 Shit, I'm in. 595 00:38:18,113 --> 00:38:22,230 Man, gimme that cheeseburger. You acting like a real McAsshole. 596 00:38:22,230 --> 00:38:25,875 Cheeseburger, he wants to run with the white boys, we will let 'im. 597 00:38:25,903 --> 00:38:27,209 Let's do this. 598 00:38:28,133 --> 00:38:29,348 Earl Megget. 599 00:38:29,348 --> 00:38:33,504 Well, we didn't get the whole chocolate bar, but we got a Hershey's Kiss. 600 00:38:33,584 --> 00:38:34,862 I'll take it. 601 00:38:37,009 --> 00:38:39,075 Let's get this over with, rookie, I'm starvin'. 602 00:38:39,213 --> 00:38:41,645 Fresh meat, boys! Fresh meat! 603 00:38:42,011 --> 00:38:43,400 Down, set! 604 00:38:43,967 --> 00:38:45,887 Battle, you're a psycho! 605 00:38:46,075 --> 00:38:48,151 Tony, you're a fat shit! Hut! 606 00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:57,441 Holy shit! 607 00:39:01,870 --> 00:39:02,937 Get 'im! 608 00:39:10,835 --> 00:39:13,703 Ran right out of your shoes, huh? Hey, manager, don't you think 609 00:39:13,703 --> 00:39:16,353 we can get our new star running back a decent pair of cleats? 610 00:39:16,353 --> 00:39:19,820 Yeah. I-I-I think I got a cousin that drives a truck for Reebok. 611 00:39:19,820 --> 00:39:22,093 It's cool, man. I never had shoes growing up noway. 612 00:39:22,093 --> 00:39:24,543 - I'll be a'it for now. - Oh, okay. 613 00:39:24,543 --> 00:39:26,519 Get your country ass back in the huddle. 614 00:39:26,519 --> 00:39:28,663 That boy got some slave feet, you see that? 615 00:39:30,324 --> 00:39:32,481 Defense! Huddle up over there! 616 00:39:32,481 --> 00:39:34,495 Paul. Paul! 617 00:39:34,495 --> 00:39:36,624 Hey, ladies. How's it hangin'? 618 00:39:36,624 --> 00:39:39,001 - Tell 'im. - I'm-a say somethin' to 'im. 619 00:39:39,001 --> 00:39:41,660 I just wanted to let you know I am your biggest fan. 620 00:39:41,660 --> 00:39:45,968 And I will be cheering my jailhouse boobies off for you at game day. 621 00:39:45,968 --> 00:39:48,384 - I appreciate that. Thank you. - Paul. 622 00:39:49,736 --> 00:39:51,412 I appreciate you. 623 00:39:52,101 --> 00:39:54,259 Okay, thanks. I'm glad to know that. 624 00:39:55,465 --> 00:39:57,207 Okay, are you done now? Huh? 625 00:39:57,384 --> 00:40:00,187 What's wrong with you? Jealous cause I don't cheer for you anymore? 626 00:40:00,187 --> 00:40:02,219 I don't know what you're talkin' about, freak show. 627 00:40:02,219 --> 00:40:03,814 Whatever, back freckles. 628 00:40:04,672 --> 00:40:06,839 Oh, yeah, back freckles. She's making up shit now. 629 00:40:06,839 --> 00:40:08,176 I'm gonna get some water. 630 00:40:09,995 --> 00:40:12,174 That feature interview worked better than I thought. 631 00:40:12,174 --> 00:40:14,603 I just got off the phone with ESPN2. 632 00:40:14,603 --> 00:40:17,302 They want to televise the football game. 633 00:40:17,302 --> 00:40:20,879 Guards, cons, Paul Crewe, it's compelling stuff. 634 00:40:20,879 --> 00:40:24,201 - Lots of human interest. Cha-cha-cha. - Don't do that in here. 635 00:40:25,925 --> 00:40:27,285 Television. 636 00:40:28,190 --> 00:40:30,795 Dandridge, do you think that might help my visibility 637 00:40:30,795 --> 00:40:33,005 with the registered voters of this fine state? 638 00:40:33,005 --> 00:40:34,083 Oh, yeah. 639 00:40:50,328 --> 00:40:51,899 The freak is back! 640 00:41:04,589 --> 00:41:06,255 Hey, hey. It's me again. 641 00:41:08,474 --> 00:41:10,801 You know, if I take this half down, we could play together. 642 00:41:13,457 --> 00:41:15,616 I'm just gonna take this half down. 643 00:41:18,571 --> 00:41:21,904 Don't worry. Don't worry. I got another ball. 644 00:41:22,299 --> 00:41:24,918 It's okay. You wanna serve? 645 00:41:26,945 --> 00:41:28,141 I'll serve. 646 00:41:33,823 --> 00:41:36,776 Really good news. We started a football team. 647 00:41:36,776 --> 00:41:38,317 You like football? 648 00:41:38,317 --> 00:41:40,019 It's kinda like ping-pong. 649 00:41:40,019 --> 00:41:43,547 Only the ball's a little bigger and egg-shaped, like my head. 650 00:41:44,497 --> 00:41:47,304 Just a joke. Stay calm. 651 00:41:47,304 --> 00:41:50,133 Give you a good chance to... throw people on the ground, 652 00:41:50,133 --> 00:41:54,695 hurt them like... you used to when you were a kid, 10 feet 6 inches ago. 653 00:41:56,624 --> 00:41:58,682 We'd be playing the guards. 654 00:42:01,858 --> 00:42:04,545 I think Papajohn's their safety. 655 00:42:21,408 --> 00:42:24,632 Turley, nobody gets to me. We'll play more ping-pong later, okay? 656 00:42:27,325 --> 00:42:28,314 Hut! 657 00:42:33,579 --> 00:42:34,768 Effective. 658 00:42:35,390 --> 00:42:38,256 - All right. - He brokeded my nose. 659 00:42:41,602 --> 00:42:43,163 I don't wanna play no more. 660 00:42:43,163 --> 00:42:45,263 Hey, hey, hey. Switowski, what are you talking about? 661 00:42:45,263 --> 00:42:47,019 This is football. Shit happens. 662 00:42:47,286 --> 00:42:50,019 Paul, he brokeded my nose. 663 00:42:50,019 --> 00:42:51,543 Okay. Stop cryin'. 664 00:42:52,159 --> 00:42:54,869 All right. We can fix this. Here we go. 665 00:42:56,359 --> 00:42:57,973 Okay. Good, good. 666 00:42:59,034 --> 00:43:00,288 How's it look? 667 00:43:00,288 --> 00:43:03,771 How's it look? It looks... It looks like, uh... It looks better than before. 668 00:43:04,370 --> 00:43:06,772 - Really? - Yeah, it's straighter. 669 00:43:06,772 --> 00:43:09,722 More distinguished. Kinda like a young Michael Jackson. 670 00:43:09,722 --> 00:43:11,860 I love little Michael. 671 00:43:12,227 --> 00:43:13,915 That's great. That's great. 672 00:43:15,079 --> 00:43:16,958 I think he did it on purpose. 673 00:43:16,958 --> 00:43:18,429 No, he didn't. 674 00:43:20,749 --> 00:43:22,395 Okay, maybe he did. 675 00:43:22,395 --> 00:43:24,737 You gotta apologize to 'im. Come on, Turley. 676 00:43:26,762 --> 00:43:28,286 Say you're sorry. 677 00:43:30,070 --> 00:43:32,032 Come on, say it. 678 00:43:35,224 --> 00:43:38,842 He said he's sorry. I got him to say he's sorry. 679 00:43:38,842 --> 00:43:41,105 Yeah, yeah. We're all impressed. 680 00:43:43,155 --> 00:43:45,373 Looking good, gentlemen. Way to work hard. 681 00:43:45,393 --> 00:43:47,692 Good practice, Paul! Me and the girls wanna show you 682 00:43:47,692 --> 00:43:49,525 - what we've been practising. - Okay, hit me. 683 00:43:49,566 --> 00:43:50,099 - What we've been practicing. - Okay, hit me. 684 00:43:50,713 --> 00:43:52,992 Come on, let's go. One, two, three. 685 00:43:54,161 --> 00:43:56,253 Give... me... a... 686 00:43:56,253 --> 00:43:59,572 D, D, give me a I I, I, give me a C 687 00:43:59,572 --> 00:44:00,881 C, give me a... 688 00:44:00,881 --> 00:44:04,152 All right, all right! I got it. Just save it for the game. 689 00:44:04,152 --> 00:44:05,975 Don't act like you ain't wanna see more, Brucie! 690 00:44:05,975 --> 00:44:08,232 - Yeah, you wish, pal. - No, you wish I'd kiss you again, 691 00:44:08,232 --> 00:44:10,569 cause your breath smell like eight cans of shark shit. 692 00:44:11,515 --> 00:44:13,006 I wouldn't touch her with a 10-foot pole. 693 00:44:13,006 --> 00:44:14,806 - What's he talking about? - He's a freak. 694 00:44:27,980 --> 00:44:29,793 Run, Forrest, run! 695 00:44:34,356 --> 00:44:36,503 That's how a white man plays guitar. 696 00:44:40,220 --> 00:44:42,301 Captain, he said he had some info. 697 00:44:42,301 --> 00:44:45,687 You guys have "Halo 2." I didn't even think that was out yet. 698 00:44:46,441 --> 00:44:48,319 Focus. Turn the music off! 699 00:44:48,319 --> 00:44:50,432 Yeah, captain. You know them convicts? 700 00:44:50,432 --> 00:44:52,330 They're startin' to get some serious players. 701 00:44:52,330 --> 00:44:55,662 But their biggest threat? A running back. Megget. 702 00:44:55,662 --> 00:44:58,213 - He's good? - He's fast. 703 00:44:58,213 --> 00:45:00,528 He's really, really fast. 704 00:45:00,528 --> 00:45:04,521 I mean, he's so fast, he makes fast people look not fast. 705 00:45:04,521 --> 00:45:05,809 I got it, he's fast. 706 00:45:06,070 --> 00:45:09,154 Now, why don't you show us your speed and get your pyro ass out of here. 707 00:45:09,830 --> 00:45:12,673 Yes, sir. Here I go. I'm sorry. 708 00:45:24,284 --> 00:45:27,766 Any books you'd recommend, inmate? 709 00:45:29,119 --> 00:45:30,382 No, sir. 710 00:45:32,039 --> 00:45:33,536 Not much of a reader. 711 00:45:33,757 --> 00:45:38,194 Oh, come on, now, maggot. I've seen you in here reading before. 712 00:45:38,325 --> 00:45:40,779 You requested this detail. Isn't that right? 713 00:45:44,037 --> 00:45:46,900 Nah. It's the quiet time I like, sir. 714 00:45:47,926 --> 00:45:49,931 Maybe you'd like to read this. 715 00:45:51,268 --> 00:45:53,594 What the hell kind of bullshit book is that? 716 00:45:53,594 --> 00:45:55,854 It's historical. Sir. 717 00:45:55,854 --> 00:45:59,036 Now, why would he wanna read a book about a four-eyed nigger? 718 00:46:02,881 --> 00:46:06,636 Does the N word offend you... nigger? 719 00:46:07,782 --> 00:46:09,138 No, sir. 720 00:46:15,195 --> 00:46:17,462 Oops. Sorry about that. 721 00:46:18,181 --> 00:46:21,015 You mind fetching these books for me, boy? 722 00:46:23,726 --> 00:46:25,027 No, sir. 723 00:46:25,059 --> 00:46:27,142 Just pick 'em up. Put 'em on the table. 724 00:46:30,549 --> 00:46:31,852 There you go. 725 00:46:37,245 --> 00:46:39,365 You forgot one. 726 00:46:45,468 --> 00:46:47,406 Bet you'd like to hit us, huh? 727 00:46:48,138 --> 00:46:50,637 Hit you, sir? Nah. 728 00:46:53,022 --> 00:46:54,719 Y'all my friends. 729 00:46:58,964 --> 00:47:00,420 Pick these up. 730 00:47:20,553 --> 00:47:21,440 Go! 731 00:47:22,771 --> 00:47:24,299 Hit me! I'm open! I'm open! 732 00:47:28,655 --> 00:47:31,327 Come on! We got one week before we play that game. 733 00:47:31,327 --> 00:47:32,678 We can't complete a pass yet. 734 00:47:32,678 --> 00:47:35,237 - Megget can't run the ball every play. - I know, coach. 735 00:47:36,614 --> 00:47:38,354 What the hell is he smiling at? 736 00:47:53,616 --> 00:47:55,475 This better be on the up and up. 737 00:47:56,308 --> 00:47:59,033 - I guarantee it. - Let's do this shit. 738 00:47:59,247 --> 00:48:01,012 There goes the neighborhood. 739 00:48:06,536 --> 00:48:08,129 Now I'll never get to play. 740 00:48:32,949 --> 00:48:36,462 Did you see that? Did you see that? The Deac is here! 741 00:48:36,462 --> 00:48:37,691 Nice. 742 00:48:38,204 --> 00:48:39,789 Okay, we seal off here, seal off here. 743 00:48:39,789 --> 00:48:40,732 - Cheeseburger. - Yeah. 744 00:48:40,732 --> 00:48:42,944 You're just gonna chip this guy... 745 00:48:59,898 --> 00:49:01,084 Ow, that stings. 746 00:49:01,084 --> 00:49:03,090 Nothing a Quarter Pounder can't fix. 747 00:49:06,385 --> 00:49:07,157 Oh, with cheese on it? 748 00:49:07,157 --> 00:49:08,210 Hut! 749 00:49:32,570 --> 00:49:34,955 Man, that boy would catch a cold in the desert. Here you go. 750 00:49:34,955 --> 00:49:36,908 - Everything's looking up. - Yeah. 751 00:49:37,625 --> 00:49:40,123 Still got one more pain in the ass to deal with. 752 00:49:49,891 --> 00:49:52,046 All right, boys, what do you say? How about a little best ball? 753 00:49:52,046 --> 00:49:55,172 No, I hate that bullshit. Everyone play their own damn ball. 754 00:49:55,352 --> 00:49:57,046 Shit, is that Paul Crewe? 755 00:49:57,046 --> 00:50:01,001 How do you like that, boys? The MVP coming to kiss my ass. 756 00:50:01,428 --> 00:50:03,630 So, uh, what's on your mind, Paul? 757 00:50:03,630 --> 00:50:05,702 Got a problem with inmate Unger. 758 00:50:05,702 --> 00:50:09,743 - Oh? Is he on your little squad? - I believe he's on your little squad. 759 00:50:09,929 --> 00:50:13,453 Mr. Crewe, would you mind if we had a picture? Please? 760 00:50:13,489 --> 00:50:15,232 That's up to the warden. 761 00:50:15,422 --> 00:50:17,905 - Ah, damn it. All right. - Rewound it. Did everything. 762 00:50:17,905 --> 00:50:20,306 - Flash is ready. - You don't need a flash. It's daylight. 763 00:50:20,306 --> 00:50:22,660 Oh, my bad. I just want a good picture. 764 00:50:22,934 --> 00:50:26,078 You know, I think you had sex with my wife before I married her. 765 00:50:27,020 --> 00:50:29,080 - Sorry about that. - Oh, hell, no. 766 00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:32,193 If she's hot enough to have a one-nighter with a pro football player, 767 00:50:32,193 --> 00:50:33,921 I must be doing all right. 768 00:50:34,252 --> 00:50:35,887 Okay, here we go. 769 00:50:36,494 --> 00:50:38,909 - Sergeant Engleheart? - Yes, warden. 770 00:50:38,909 --> 00:50:40,894 Would you step out of the picture, please? 771 00:50:41,110 --> 00:50:42,299 Yes, sir. 772 00:50:44,726 --> 00:50:46,928 - His wife has got the hottest ass. - Great. 773 00:50:47,305 --> 00:50:48,880 Just cut to the chase, shall we? 774 00:50:49,070 --> 00:50:51,677 You don't actually think you have a chance of winning, now, do you? 775 00:50:52,022 --> 00:50:53,839 We're gonna get our asses handed to us. 776 00:50:53,839 --> 00:50:57,835 I know it. You know it. I just don't want my players to know it. 777 00:50:58,040 --> 00:50:59,336 Your players? 778 00:51:01,138 --> 00:51:03,820 Just when I thought I had you all figured out. 779 00:51:03,820 --> 00:51:06,148 - What does that mean? - In the time you've been here, 780 00:51:06,148 --> 00:51:08,102 you haven't made or received one telephone call. 781 00:51:08,102 --> 00:51:10,558 You haven't opened so much as a single shred of mail. 782 00:51:10,558 --> 00:51:12,788 Why do you give a damn about those slimeballs? 783 00:51:12,788 --> 00:51:15,281 You never cared about anybody in your entire life. 784 00:51:15,748 --> 00:51:18,129 Well, maybe I finally found that sense of family 785 00:51:18,129 --> 00:51:20,478 I been yearning for since I'm a baby. 786 00:51:20,478 --> 00:51:21,590 And gosh almighty, 787 00:51:21,590 --> 00:51:23,634 my new family and I would sure appreciate it 788 00:51:23,634 --> 00:51:26,362 if you got Unger off the field. You hear? 789 00:51:27,343 --> 00:51:30,211 - Sergeant Engleheart. - Thank you. 790 00:51:30,827 --> 00:51:32,283 Oh, and as for your request... 791 00:51:34,209 --> 00:51:36,880 you'll have my answer soon enough. 792 00:51:49,144 --> 00:51:51,084 Did it rain last night? 793 00:51:51,084 --> 00:51:52,448 Not a drop. 794 00:51:56,791 --> 00:52:00,008 Son of a bitch. All right, boys. 795 00:52:03,775 --> 00:52:06,899 The warden is tryin' to break our spirit. 796 00:52:07,514 --> 00:52:09,458 He thinks we're gonna skip practice today, 797 00:52:09,458 --> 00:52:12,263 wait for the field to dry, make it up tomorrow... 798 00:52:12,263 --> 00:52:13,697 You know what? Who gives a shit? 799 00:52:13,697 --> 00:52:16,511 Three days till game time. We can handle it. 800 00:52:16,511 --> 00:52:18,009 But let me say this: 801 00:52:19,009 --> 00:52:22,497 That old man flooding this field tells me somethin'. 802 00:52:23,563 --> 00:52:26,306 The guy is scared. 803 00:52:26,324 --> 00:52:30,749 Scared of you sick, degenerate convicts. 804 00:52:30,749 --> 00:52:32,353 And you know what? 805 00:52:33,706 --> 00:52:35,002 He should be. 806 00:52:35,293 --> 00:52:37,536 Cause I got news for you guys. 807 00:52:37,564 --> 00:52:39,259 We're gonna win this thing. 808 00:52:40,184 --> 00:52:41,677 Did he say "win"? 809 00:52:42,104 --> 00:52:43,990 What's it gonna be, boys? 810 00:52:45,301 --> 00:52:48,305 Do we go back to our cells, call it a day? 811 00:52:48,723 --> 00:52:52,802 Or do we get ourselves ready for the greatest ass-kicking fiesta 812 00:52:53,597 --> 00:52:56,071 in the history of football? 813 00:52:56,475 --> 00:52:58,750 I'll leave it up to you guys. 814 00:53:17,586 --> 00:53:20,818 Hey. You're part of the goddamn team. 815 00:53:20,818 --> 00:53:23,483 Get your point-shaving ass in there. 816 00:53:24,027 --> 00:53:25,328 You got it. 817 00:54:09,629 --> 00:54:12,430 I guess that asshole Hazen wants to play dirty. 818 00:54:12,610 --> 00:54:14,952 - We all convicts, right? - Right. 819 00:54:15,654 --> 00:54:18,012 Maybe it's time we started acting like it. 820 00:54:19,153 --> 00:54:20,379 Right here. Right here. 821 00:54:22,645 --> 00:54:23,714 Take it, Deac. 822 00:54:23,912 --> 00:54:26,665 Let's see which guards have some broken bones. 823 00:54:45,563 --> 00:54:46,629 Yeah! 824 00:55:22,585 --> 00:55:23,873 Shoes, nigga! 825 00:55:34,314 --> 00:55:38,439 Check this out. These be brass knuckles. They damn near old as me. 826 00:55:38,439 --> 00:55:39,269 Hut! 827 00:55:40,047 --> 00:55:43,124 That's perfect, Cheeseburger! Never been better. 828 00:55:53,084 --> 00:55:54,438 Good ball. Good ball. 829 00:55:58,039 --> 00:55:59,162 Okay. 830 00:56:02,088 --> 00:56:03,969 - Who we gonna crush? - The guards! 831 00:56:03,969 --> 00:56:05,823 - Who we gonna kill? - The guards! 832 00:56:05,823 --> 00:56:07,951 - Who we gonna kiss? - The guards! 833 00:56:08,307 --> 00:56:09,265 Gotcha. 834 00:56:18,899 --> 00:56:20,042 Lights out! 835 00:56:21,804 --> 00:56:23,341 Good night, ladies. 836 00:56:28,544 --> 00:56:31,202 - Yo, Crewe! - Yes, Mr. Caretaker. 837 00:56:31,202 --> 00:56:34,752 Check your toilet. There should be a little surprise in there for you. 838 00:56:34,752 --> 00:56:36,361 You took a shit in my toilet? 839 00:56:36,403 --> 00:56:39,001 No, that's the surprise I left in Brucie's toilet. 840 00:56:39,255 --> 00:56:41,436 - You got somethin' else. - All right. 841 00:56:42,449 --> 00:56:44,185 Well, would you look at this. 842 00:56:44,185 --> 00:56:48,043 A bottle of Ketel One and two glasses? 843 00:56:48,043 --> 00:56:49,553 Now, what would I need two for? 844 00:56:49,553 --> 00:56:51,696 Just shut up and pour me a drink, bitch. 845 00:56:51,696 --> 00:56:56,247 - Man... who taught you to be so cool? - My mama. 846 00:56:56,247 --> 00:57:00,369 Now, when I get out of here, I don't want you to get all Hollywood on us. 847 00:57:00,369 --> 00:57:01,947 I want you to meet 'er. 848 00:57:01,947 --> 00:57:05,046 Here, look at my girl. She's your biggest fan. 849 00:57:06,813 --> 00:57:08,779 Your mom's beautiful. 850 00:57:09,533 --> 00:57:12,233 - And you, you are ugly. - Thank you. 851 00:57:12,233 --> 00:57:13,590 Got it. 852 00:57:14,693 --> 00:57:16,531 Here's to, uh... 853 00:57:17,586 --> 00:57:20,408 the first friend I've had in I don't know how long. 854 00:57:20,408 --> 00:57:22,801 Hey, I thought I was your friend, Paul. 855 00:57:22,801 --> 00:57:27,097 You are, Switowski. Just... finish your coloring book and go back to sleep. 856 00:57:27,097 --> 00:57:28,361 Okay. 857 00:57:28,361 --> 00:57:30,734 And here's to having one o' these with you on the outside, 858 00:57:30,734 --> 00:57:33,382 sometime in the next three to five years. 859 00:57:33,383 --> 00:57:34,710 Lachaim. 860 00:57:35,071 --> 00:57:37,097 - Yo, Crewe. - Yes, sir. 861 00:57:37,097 --> 00:57:39,253 You being a ex-football player and all, 862 00:57:39,253 --> 00:57:41,812 I'm sure you got a lot of hot ass on the outside. 863 00:57:41,812 --> 00:57:44,688 Well, let's not forget I wasn't the most popular guy out there. 864 00:57:44,688 --> 00:57:45,546 Don't give me that shit. 865 00:57:45,546 --> 00:57:48,204 O.J. chopped his wife's head off and still got some ass. 866 00:57:49,133 --> 00:57:50,346 Yeah. 867 00:57:50,618 --> 00:57:53,452 My mama taught me not to kiss and tell. Now, go to sleep. 868 00:57:53,452 --> 00:57:55,661 A'it. I got one more question to ask you. 869 00:57:55,661 --> 00:57:57,294 Okay. What is it? 870 00:58:00,008 --> 00:58:01,673 Why'd you shave those points? 871 00:58:04,496 --> 00:58:07,477 Didn't you read the papers? I'm innocent. 872 00:58:07,477 --> 00:58:09,939 Yeah. Ain't we all? 873 00:58:12,317 --> 00:58:14,002 Yo, Crewe, what would you say 874 00:58:14,002 --> 00:58:17,232 if I could get you film from the guards' games last year? 875 00:58:17,232 --> 00:58:19,617 I would say that's incredible, but how? 876 00:58:20,104 --> 00:58:21,736 Thanks, gentlemen. 877 00:58:21,736 --> 00:58:25,145 The warden will be done with him in 15 minutes. 878 00:58:26,133 --> 00:58:28,830 - We can handle him. - Yes, ma'am. 879 00:58:28,830 --> 00:58:30,554 Then you're gonna, ma'am. 880 00:58:35,102 --> 00:58:36,104 Nice job. 881 00:58:38,968 --> 00:58:42,596 I can't tell you how much this means to me. Thank you, Lynette. 882 00:58:42,596 --> 00:58:44,854 Now Nate can study all the guards' formations. 883 00:58:44,854 --> 00:58:47,989 Not so fast, sugar bear. 884 00:58:47,989 --> 00:58:49,978 You gotta earn 'em. 885 00:58:59,155 --> 00:59:00,895 We only got 15 minutes, 886 00:59:00,895 --> 00:59:04,914 but, sunshine, we're gonna make 'em all count. 887 00:59:17,287 --> 00:59:19,402 - One more, please? - Mm-hmm. 888 00:59:27,241 --> 00:59:28,390 Let's go. 889 00:59:36,004 --> 00:59:37,582 - Quiet down. Guys. - Let's go. 890 00:59:37,582 --> 00:59:40,711 Before we watch the guards' game film from last season, 891 00:59:40,711 --> 00:59:45,770 we have a special presentation from our very own Mr. Paul Crewe. 892 00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:48,113 What are you talking about? 893 00:59:50,304 --> 00:59:51,057 What's going on? 894 00:59:55,424 --> 00:59:57,802 Now I gotta relive this shit? 895 01:00:13,060 --> 01:00:14,350 Yeah! 896 01:00:17,636 --> 01:00:20,210 You can say this, my man's a team player! 897 01:00:22,362 --> 01:00:25,984 You know what they say. Once you go gray, there ain't no other way! 898 01:00:26,646 --> 01:00:29,882 Hey, hey, hey. Brucie! Brucie! I'm glad you think that's funny, 899 01:00:29,882 --> 01:00:31,691 because I got something pretty funny to show you guys. 900 01:00:31,691 --> 01:00:33,665 Tony, hit it. You're gonna like this. 901 01:00:41,341 --> 01:00:44,039 - What the hell is this? - What? It's good. It keeps goin'. 902 01:00:44,678 --> 01:00:46,698 - Hi. - Here I am. 903 01:00:47,208 --> 01:00:48,860 Turn this shit off. Turn it off. 904 01:00:49,351 --> 01:00:50,218 No! 905 01:00:56,322 --> 01:00:58,709 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very funny. Trick photography. 906 01:01:07,152 --> 01:01:08,920 Nothing happened. Nothing happened. Nothing happened. 907 01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:10,869 I was showing a little wrestling move. That's all. 908 01:01:11,013 --> 01:01:12,098 Knock it off! 909 01:01:12,491 --> 01:01:13,702 Knock it off! 910 01:01:14,438 --> 01:01:16,712 It's time we took a look at what we came here to see 911 01:01:16,712 --> 01:01:18,490 before the guards come back. 912 01:01:19,940 --> 01:01:23,006 The first film is the guards' offense against Texas Southern. 913 01:01:23,006 --> 01:01:26,249 Now, as you can see, they're running a standard wishbone. 914 01:01:33,232 --> 01:01:36,056 So you're telling me that these animals are watching our game films. 915 01:01:36,056 --> 01:01:37,907 - Is that right? - Yes, sir, boss. 916 01:01:37,907 --> 01:01:39,599 They got all last season. 917 01:01:40,143 --> 01:01:42,985 Seems to me that we ought to do something about this. 918 01:01:42,985 --> 01:01:44,527 W-w-what do you want me to do? 919 01:01:44,527 --> 01:01:47,037 You're the criminal. Be creative. 920 01:01:47,037 --> 01:01:49,452 But on game day, if I so much as... 921 01:01:52,810 --> 01:01:54,058 What are you doin'? 922 01:01:55,664 --> 01:01:58,084 I don't know. I've had hot flashes all shift, 923 01:01:58,084 --> 01:02:00,744 and... now my nipples are killin' me. 924 01:02:00,996 --> 01:02:03,245 Why are we talking about your nipples? 925 01:02:03,245 --> 01:02:05,844 We're-we're not. Just go do what you're doin' there. 926 01:02:05,844 --> 01:02:06,791 Guys. 927 01:02:08,368 --> 01:02:11,316 I want Crewe finished. 928 01:02:11,316 --> 01:02:14,712 Yes, sir. You give me the inspiration, sir. I got somethin' for 'im. 929 01:02:16,404 --> 01:02:17,458 Hut! 930 01:02:23,309 --> 01:02:24,246 Everybody! 931 01:02:26,140 --> 01:02:27,303 Huddle up! 932 01:02:31,089 --> 01:02:35,661 Every day we've been taking shit, for a long time. 933 01:02:36,269 --> 01:02:41,330 Tomorrow, payback. Now, think about that for a second. 934 01:03:24,284 --> 01:03:26,227 - What time is it? - Game time! 935 01:03:26,227 --> 01:03:27,857 - What time is it? - Game time! 936 01:03:27,857 --> 01:03:32,345 - What time is it? - Game time! 937 01:03:34,659 --> 01:03:38,768 Tomorrow, 12 o'clock, the bus leaves. Don't be late! 938 01:03:39,456 --> 01:03:41,119 Where the hell is Caretaker? 939 01:03:43,032 --> 01:03:44,390 I don't know. 940 01:04:11,482 --> 01:04:13,764 A gift for you, Mr. Crewe. 941 01:04:15,766 --> 01:04:18,424 How does he listen to that cracker shit? 942 01:06:41,086 --> 01:06:42,723 We're here deep in the heart of toothless country, 943 01:06:42,723 --> 01:06:45,617 coming to you from a simple Texas high school stadium 944 01:06:45,617 --> 01:06:47,792 that's been retrofitted for the big event. 945 01:06:47,792 --> 01:06:50,324 Now, when my man Travis tried to drag me out here, I said 946 01:06:50,324 --> 01:06:52,587 "What are you, brain-dead from talking to too many Raider fans? 947 01:06:52,587 --> 01:06:54,017 It's not going to work." 948 01:06:54,017 --> 01:06:57,237 But the fact of the matter is, this could shape up as an epic day. 949 01:06:57,237 --> 01:07:00,331 Hot-dog vendors, high-powered rifles, I love the combination. 950 01:07:00,331 --> 01:07:02,561 And apparently so do the fans. 951 01:07:05,911 --> 01:07:08,141 Hey, shitheads! Listen up! 952 01:07:08,141 --> 01:07:10,118 Everybody on their feet for the warden. 953 01:07:13,969 --> 01:07:16,600 Anthony, wow. You can sit down. 954 01:07:17,222 --> 01:07:18,779 Thank God. 955 01:07:20,387 --> 01:07:23,378 Gentlemen, Texas marshals have been kind enough 956 01:07:23,378 --> 01:07:26,245 to supply us with a dozen of their finest sharpshooters. 957 01:07:27,236 --> 01:07:29,710 So for those of you thinking of mingling with the civilians 958 01:07:30,528 --> 01:07:32,417 or trying to make a break for it, 959 01:07:32,417 --> 01:07:34,121 you will be shot. 960 01:07:35,576 --> 01:07:37,176 In the head. 961 01:07:40,297 --> 01:07:43,333 Now, let's all go out there and have some fun! 962 01:07:46,218 --> 01:07:48,870 Crewe! I'll see you on the field! 963 01:07:51,688 --> 01:07:53,454 I think he's in love with you. 964 01:07:54,153 --> 01:07:55,972 All right, listen up. 965 01:07:56,003 --> 01:08:00,280 I know it's hard to get psyched for the game without Caretaker being here. 966 01:08:00,743 --> 01:08:03,525 But somehow that sick, skinny bastard 967 01:08:03,525 --> 01:08:07,386 found a way to get us all fired up from beyond the grave. 968 01:08:08,422 --> 01:08:10,918 Caretaker's last gift to us. 969 01:08:10,950 --> 01:08:13,646 Battle, I presume this is yours. 970 01:08:15,481 --> 01:08:17,317 I still don't think that's big enough. 971 01:08:19,639 --> 01:08:21,997 - That's it? - No, that ain't it. 972 01:08:22,331 --> 01:08:25,436 Caretaker said he'd find us some gear to wear. 973 01:08:28,790 --> 01:08:31,443 I think he found us a name too. 974 01:08:36,304 --> 01:08:38,649 Mean Machine! Mean Machine! Mean Machine! Mean Machine! 975 01:08:51,017 --> 01:08:55,349 Good afternoon and welcome to a very special edition of ESPN football. 976 01:08:55,349 --> 01:08:58,356 As today, the semipro Allenville Federal Prison guards 977 01:08:58,356 --> 01:09:01,434 will be taking on the very prisoners they guard. 978 01:09:01,434 --> 01:09:04,638 And with this special game, folks, comes a special broadcast, 979 01:09:04,638 --> 01:09:08,379 as I'm joined in the booth by Baby Face Bob. 980 01:09:08,379 --> 01:09:10,226 Say hi to the folks, Bob-O. 981 01:09:11,587 --> 01:09:13,103 Chris, we went to a commercial. 982 01:09:13,255 --> 01:09:16,459 This, uh, this job, Bob, it's a lot of give and take. 983 01:09:16,479 --> 01:09:19,451 So when I bring you in, don't be afraid to talk to the folks. 984 01:09:21,337 --> 01:09:23,378 Unless you don't want to. 985 01:09:26,785 --> 01:09:28,486 And here come the cons, 986 01:09:28,486 --> 01:09:32,353 led by former NFL MVP quarterback, Paul Crewe. 987 01:09:37,328 --> 01:09:40,081 Holy shit. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 988 01:09:40,081 --> 01:09:41,474 Well, hello. How are you? 989 01:09:41,474 --> 01:09:43,002 Back away from the girls! 990 01:09:43,386 --> 01:09:44,865 - Hey, now. - Call me! 991 01:09:47,068 --> 01:09:48,765 What the hell are you dressed up for? 992 01:09:48,765 --> 01:09:52,510 Hey, I didn't spend 14 years in the joint just to watch this game. 993 01:09:52,603 --> 01:09:54,620 And there in the high-security bleachers 994 01:09:54,620 --> 01:09:57,653 are the good-behavior cons, along with their... 995 01:09:57,873 --> 01:09:59,546 cheerleaders? 996 01:10:00,004 --> 01:10:02,357 We're the mean machine Don't mean to dis you 997 01:10:02,357 --> 01:10:04,400 We're gonna kick your ass And then we'll kiss you 998 01:10:04,982 --> 01:10:07,806 Hey! Ho! What? 999 01:10:10,505 --> 01:10:12,625 I didn't do it! 1000 01:10:23,532 --> 01:10:24,520 Come on, Batt! 1001 01:10:38,754 --> 01:10:40,060 - What's that? - Did you see that? 1002 01:10:44,595 --> 01:10:45,518 Damn it! 1003 01:10:46,905 --> 01:10:50,591 Papajohn's at the 20, the 10. And he will score. 1004 01:10:54,269 --> 01:10:56,323 Sweet dreams, bitch. 1005 01:10:56,877 --> 01:10:58,828 That's a 90-yard return 1006 01:10:58,828 --> 01:11:02,330 and I gotta tell you, the cons seem more interested in hitting the guards 1007 01:11:02,330 --> 01:11:04,250 than tackling the ball carrier. 1008 01:11:04,540 --> 01:11:08,967 Hey, mom. Hey, dad. Thanks for picking me up from school. 1009 01:11:10,197 --> 01:11:12,583 And here comes the big story of the day. 1010 01:11:12,583 --> 01:11:15,048 Paul Crewe, serving a three-year sentence, 1011 01:11:15,048 --> 01:11:18,631 hasn't played since he was banned from the NFL six years ago. 1012 01:11:18,631 --> 01:11:20,789 Center, shift it! Shift it! 1013 01:11:25,388 --> 01:11:26,719 Hey, Sasquatch! 1014 01:11:30,383 --> 01:11:31,120 Twenty, hut! 1015 01:11:31,120 --> 01:11:34,808 Crewe drops back to pass. Turley's leaving him unprotected. 1016 01:11:35,525 --> 01:11:36,730 Fumble! 1017 01:11:43,319 --> 01:11:44,535 Goddamn it. 1018 01:11:44,535 --> 01:11:47,299 That's gonna be a personal foul on the big guy. 1019 01:11:47,299 --> 01:11:50,148 And this is certainly inauspicious start for the cons. 1020 01:11:50,148 --> 01:11:53,427 Come here! All right! You got 'im. Now, protect me! 1021 01:11:53,760 --> 01:11:55,876 Let's go! Hold them! 1022 01:11:56,862 --> 01:12:01,102 And here comes Knauer and that big offensive unit for the guards. 1023 01:12:06,723 --> 01:12:08,217 Back to your cell. 1024 01:12:09,694 --> 01:12:10,781 Hut! Hut! 1025 01:12:15,563 --> 01:12:19,160 Knauer has Potter wide open. Touchdown, guards. 1026 01:12:20,736 --> 01:12:23,015 - Son of a bitch! - And in the first 90 seconds, 1027 01:12:23,015 --> 01:12:25,310 the guards are up by two touchdowns. 1028 01:12:25,310 --> 01:12:28,280 This one looks like it could be over early. 1029 01:12:28,833 --> 01:12:29,877 Sorry. 1030 01:12:30,085 --> 01:12:33,018 What are we celebratin' for?! It's 14-nothin'! 1031 01:12:33,018 --> 01:12:36,887 You guys wanna beat these assholes, do it on the scoreboard! 1032 01:12:37,209 --> 01:12:40,840 Are you okay? Oh, God, you're not hurt, are you? 1033 01:12:41,017 --> 01:12:42,757 Jesus, you sound like my mother. 1034 01:12:42,757 --> 01:12:47,296 Listen, if you wanna cry, you go ahead and cry. I'll cry with you. 1035 01:12:47,296 --> 01:12:50,250 Get off me! Get back out there and kick some ass! 1036 01:12:50,250 --> 01:12:53,332 Why are you yelling at me? All I did was care! 1037 01:12:54,996 --> 01:12:58,572 Look! A broken leg will heal. 1038 01:12:58,823 --> 01:13:01,926 A loss to the Mean Machine lasts forever. 1039 01:13:04,059 --> 01:13:05,465 Sorry, guys. 1040 01:13:05,474 --> 01:13:06,950 Yeah, yeah. Me too. 1041 01:13:08,431 --> 01:13:10,973 All right. Now, let's get started! 1042 01:13:13,979 --> 01:13:15,629 Now, get the hell out there! Let's go! 1043 01:13:28,522 --> 01:13:29,585 Way to go! Way to go! 1044 01:13:29,585 --> 01:13:32,511 Here's the first sign of life from the cons. 1045 01:13:32,531 --> 01:13:36,500 Let's see if Paul "Motley" Crewe can make something happen. 1046 01:13:36,500 --> 01:13:37,426 Hut! 1047 01:13:37,985 --> 01:13:41,538 On first down, Crewe will throw. He's got Deacon wide open. 1048 01:13:43,198 --> 01:13:45,374 That's gotta be pass interference. 1049 01:13:45,374 --> 01:13:47,538 But the ref is waving it off. 1050 01:13:47,538 --> 01:13:49,775 - What?! - Oh, come on! 1051 01:13:49,775 --> 01:13:52,140 Come on, now. I'm in this hellhole for less than that. 1052 01:13:52,140 --> 01:13:54,666 - Be a man and make a call. - You're right. 1053 01:13:55,258 --> 01:13:57,847 Unsportsmanlike conduct! Eighty-eight black! 1054 01:13:57,847 --> 01:13:58,627 What?! 1055 01:13:59,801 --> 01:14:00,811 Come on! 1056 01:14:02,785 --> 01:14:04,488 This is baby-back bullshit! 1057 01:14:04,488 --> 01:14:06,457 - Bullshit, D. - Calm down. Let it go. 1058 01:14:06,520 --> 01:14:09,705 Let's call that one a questionable call. 1059 01:14:09,705 --> 01:14:11,733 Blue 42, hut! 1060 01:14:13,298 --> 01:14:17,144 The give is to Megget. He spins to the outside. Megget has room. 1061 01:14:18,787 --> 01:14:21,070 He's at the 35. The 40. 1062 01:14:21,431 --> 01:14:24,357 Oh! He's brought down hard, by his facemask. 1063 01:14:24,357 --> 01:14:27,578 What? Oh, come on, man! That was a facemask! 1064 01:14:27,578 --> 01:14:29,911 - You're not gonna call that? - I saw a clean tackle, sir. 1065 01:14:29,911 --> 01:14:31,798 What you looking at? Are you serious? 1066 01:14:31,798 --> 01:14:33,521 Tell it to the parole board, criminal. 1067 01:14:34,429 --> 01:14:36,184 I mean, this is absurd. 1068 01:14:36,191 --> 01:14:38,477 We can't win with the refs on the payroll! 1069 01:14:38,477 --> 01:14:41,812 Listen up. I got an idea to end all this bullshit. 1070 01:14:41,812 --> 01:14:43,340 Come on, let's all stay up! Come on! 1071 01:14:45,925 --> 01:14:47,052 Down, set! 1072 01:14:47,449 --> 01:14:50,014 - Red 58. - Cover your man! 1073 01:14:50,506 --> 01:14:52,287 Red 58. Hut! 1074 01:15:03,326 --> 01:15:06,068 That one hurt my marble sack. 1075 01:15:08,488 --> 01:15:09,191 All right! 1076 01:15:09,191 --> 01:15:10,878 - You all right? - Yeah. 1077 01:15:10,878 --> 01:15:12,860 - What down is it? - Fifth. 1078 01:15:12,860 --> 01:15:14,854 - No, no. It would be fourth down. - Okay. 1079 01:15:19,069 --> 01:15:21,519 What do you think? Should I go for the left nut this time? 1080 01:15:22,904 --> 01:15:24,306 Underneath! Let's go! 1081 01:15:24,420 --> 01:15:26,647 Ref, you gotta get in the game! Right over here! 1082 01:15:26,647 --> 01:15:30,782 Well, I don't quite get this, but on fourth and 22, the cons are gonna go for it. 1083 01:15:30,782 --> 01:15:31,994 Down, set! 1084 01:15:32,344 --> 01:15:36,098 Red 58. Red 58. Hut! 1085 01:15:44,460 --> 01:15:46,966 You gotta always protect the McNuggets. 1086 01:15:50,223 --> 01:15:53,108 How about from now on, you call a fair game? How's that sound? 1087 01:15:53,262 --> 01:15:56,994 - Sounds good. - Okay. Wet Willie. 1088 01:15:57,556 --> 01:15:58,809 Yeah, you like that. 1089 01:16:03,129 --> 01:16:04,605 And so the guards will take over 1090 01:16:04,605 --> 01:16:07,961 after one of the strangest offensive series I've ever seen. 1091 01:16:08,200 --> 01:16:11,446 Okay, boys. We know who doesn't have any balls out there now. 1092 01:16:11,446 --> 01:16:14,053 Have we got any? Have we got some balls? 1093 01:16:14,053 --> 01:16:17,346 - Yeah! - All right! Let's go kick some ass! 1094 01:16:18,032 --> 01:16:20,098 Come on, Swit, stand them up, baby. 1095 01:16:20,364 --> 01:16:24,185 White 50. White 50. Hut, hut, hut! 1096 01:16:24,455 --> 01:16:27,225 Knauer, play action. Here comes the blitz. 1097 01:16:28,911 --> 01:16:33,555 Ouch! Switowski is so big, it's like being tackled by a Coke machine with legs. 1098 01:16:33,555 --> 01:16:35,201 This is fun! 1099 01:16:37,035 --> 01:16:40,518 - Nice to see you smiling, Bob. - Thanks, Chris. 1100 01:16:42,348 --> 01:16:43,887 Green 90! Hut! 1101 01:16:44,167 --> 01:16:46,203 Third and 5, and the give is to Megget. 1102 01:16:46,400 --> 01:16:49,065 He's to the 40, where he'll come up short. 1103 01:16:49,065 --> 01:16:51,502 But look at Turley push the pile. 1104 01:16:51,502 --> 01:16:53,159 And now Crewe. 1105 01:16:54,068 --> 01:16:55,844 And that's a first down! 1106 01:16:56,849 --> 01:17:00,324 And look out. Boy, somebody better take control of this game soon, 1107 01:17:00,324 --> 01:17:02,668 or they're gonna need body bags on the sidelines. 1108 01:17:02,668 --> 01:17:04,168 - Let's go, guys. - Come on. 1109 01:17:04,168 --> 01:17:05,070 Start of the second quarter. 1110 01:17:05,070 --> 01:17:08,158 Cons still down by two touchdowns, but they finally have some momentum. 1111 01:17:08,158 --> 01:17:08,776 Hut! 1112 01:17:11,815 --> 01:17:14,088 Crewe with a shovel pass to Megget. 1113 01:17:14,772 --> 01:17:16,886 And Megget scrambles for a first down. 1114 01:17:16,886 --> 01:17:19,246 Oh-ho-ho, you fooled me. 1115 01:17:19,246 --> 01:17:20,658 - I got you there, didn't I? - You did. 1116 01:17:20,658 --> 01:17:23,567 You know what? Engleheart, you are the best-looking guy on your team no kiddin'. 1117 01:17:23,567 --> 01:17:27,619 You know, Paul, in the midst of all this, for you to say something like that is... 1118 01:17:29,079 --> 01:17:30,547 Come on, let's go. Let's go, D. 1119 01:17:30,547 --> 01:17:32,468 First and 10 at the guards' 35. 1120 01:17:32,468 --> 01:17:35,449 Crewe dumps it over the middle to Deacon Moss. 1121 01:17:35,822 --> 01:17:40,393 And he's hammered at the 17 for a 13-yard pickup, and that's a first down. 1122 01:17:41,322 --> 01:17:43,285 - Hut! - Crewe, trying to get his team 1123 01:17:43,285 --> 01:17:44,678 on the scoreboard. 1124 01:17:45,183 --> 01:17:46,817 He will throw. 1125 01:17:48,977 --> 01:17:52,310 And it's caught by Deacon Moss for a touchdown! 1126 01:17:53,039 --> 01:17:53,970 All right! 1127 01:17:53,974 --> 01:17:58,247 And so there'll be no shutout today, as the cons are on the board. 1128 01:17:58,421 --> 01:18:01,402 Quit booing, people. Both teams are trying very hard! 1129 01:18:02,038 --> 01:18:05,205 What the hell's wrong with you? Stop acting like a damn cheerleader! 1130 01:18:05,205 --> 01:18:07,061 - Sportsmanship, try it. - Shut up. 1131 01:18:10,795 --> 01:18:11,828 Damn. 1132 01:18:12,021 --> 01:18:15,500 2:11 left in the first half. And Dunham is back in at fullback. 1133 01:18:15,500 --> 01:18:18,612 And he is a load, at 6'2", 260. 1134 01:18:20,692 --> 01:18:22,833 Dunham, breaking tackles. 1135 01:18:22,833 --> 01:18:24,900 He refuses to go down. 1136 01:18:24,900 --> 01:18:28,350 But he finally does after a 15-yard gain. 1137 01:18:30,221 --> 01:18:32,325 That's how a white man runs a football. 1138 01:18:32,325 --> 01:18:35,319 If I was on D, I'd crack you square in that egg-ass head o' yours. 1139 01:18:35,319 --> 01:18:38,093 Yeah, but you ain't on D. Are you, bitch? 1140 01:18:39,599 --> 01:18:41,414 Switowski! Come 'ere. 1141 01:18:42,276 --> 01:18:44,380 Do you know what he said to me in the library? 1142 01:18:47,858 --> 01:18:50,686 Yes. Him. Out. 1143 01:18:53,631 --> 01:18:56,534 D, D, defense D, D, defense 1144 01:18:56,870 --> 01:18:59,134 The cons don't seem to have an answer for Dunham, 1145 01:18:59,134 --> 01:19:02,239 who's averaging close to 12 yards a carry this half. 1146 01:19:04,042 --> 01:19:07,262 Green 67. Green 67. Hut! 1147 01:19:11,178 --> 01:19:13,807 Oh, what a hit on Dunham by Switowski. 1148 01:19:16,460 --> 01:19:18,632 I think I made him shit himself. 1149 01:19:19,551 --> 01:19:21,347 I think he just shit himself. 1150 01:19:21,358 --> 01:19:23,814 I think he just shit himself. 1151 01:19:23,843 --> 01:19:26,955 Good Lord. This guy shit himself bigtime. 1152 01:19:27,256 --> 01:19:30,396 See? I told you I made him shit himself! 1153 01:19:31,279 --> 01:19:34,219 Yo! I'll make sure I send them books to the hospital, pimp. 1154 01:19:34,219 --> 01:19:35,745 And some diapers. 1155 01:19:37,459 --> 01:19:39,794 Nineteen seconds. We got a lot of ground to cover, 1156 01:19:39,794 --> 01:19:42,492 so... you bastards remember that play we practised in the mud? 1157 01:19:42,492 --> 01:19:45,550 What are you talking about? That was some schoolyard bullshit. 1158 01:19:45,550 --> 01:19:48,783 Yeah. Let's try some schoolyard bullshit. 1159 01:19:50,309 --> 01:19:51,827 Come on, D, let's go. 1160 01:19:51,827 --> 01:19:56,568 Down, set! Green 88. Green 88. Hut! 1161 01:19:56,568 --> 01:20:00,820 The clock starts to run. Crewe hands the ball to Megget. It's a reverse. 1162 01:20:01,170 --> 01:20:03,277 Cheeseburger Eddy's got it. 1163 01:20:03,277 --> 01:20:04,412 Go, baby, go! 1164 01:20:05,581 --> 01:20:07,423 He laterals to Deacon. 1165 01:20:08,617 --> 01:20:10,008 Tackle 'im! 1166 01:20:11,134 --> 01:20:12,498 To Turley. 1167 01:20:12,498 --> 01:20:15,227 The clock is running. To Brucie. 1168 01:20:15,227 --> 01:20:17,453 Shades of Cal-Stanford. 1169 01:20:17,453 --> 01:20:19,021 Back to Crewe. 1170 01:20:19,461 --> 01:20:21,152 He tosses to Megget. 1171 01:20:21,324 --> 01:20:22,695 Tackle 'im! 1172 01:20:26,170 --> 01:20:28,968 And look at that little Megget run. 1173 01:20:28,968 --> 01:20:30,991 Three seconds left. 1174 01:20:31,786 --> 01:20:33,360 Yeah! Go! 1175 01:20:33,606 --> 01:20:39,531 He could... go... all... the... way. Touchdown! 1176 01:20:44,491 --> 01:20:45,293 Did you see that?! 1177 01:20:45,293 --> 01:20:47,022 Do that sound again. 1178 01:20:48,712 --> 01:20:50,137 I like that. 1179 01:20:53,023 --> 01:20:55,063 And so, on a miraculous play, 1180 01:20:55,063 --> 01:20:59,181 the cons end the first half with the score: 14-all. 1181 01:21:03,972 --> 01:21:05,223 Bring it in. 1182 01:21:06,058 --> 01:21:09,622 Do you have any idea... who's beating you out there? 1183 01:21:09,654 --> 01:21:11,792 This was supposed to be a blowout, 1184 01:21:11,792 --> 01:21:15,286 and they're showing you up in front of the whole nation. 1185 01:21:16,318 --> 01:21:18,034 The whole nation! 1186 01:21:18,034 --> 01:21:20,435 I like it when he's angry. 1187 01:21:22,804 --> 01:21:24,741 - I told you! - Way to go, baby, way to go. 1188 01:21:31,081 --> 01:21:33,991 What in the hell do you think you're doin' out there? 1189 01:21:33,991 --> 01:21:35,571 Playing football, sir. 1190 01:21:37,340 --> 01:21:39,520 I didn't say nothin' about winnin'. 1191 01:21:39,520 --> 01:21:41,558 We're not winnin'. Not yet. 1192 01:21:44,479 --> 01:21:47,051 You got yourself in quite a predicament, Mr. Crewe. 1193 01:21:47,051 --> 01:21:49,476 - Is that right? - You see, it's just come to my attention 1194 01:21:49,476 --> 01:21:51,411 that inmate Unger has been taken into custody 1195 01:21:51,411 --> 01:21:53,526 for the murder of Caretaker. 1196 01:21:53,526 --> 01:21:55,808 - Good. - Oh, yeah, it's good. 1197 01:21:56,077 --> 01:21:59,283 Only thing is, he claims to have an accomplice. 1198 01:21:59,714 --> 01:22:01,599 Claims you knew all about it. 1199 01:22:01,599 --> 01:22:04,813 Hell, he even says you sent Caretaker to your cell. 1200 01:22:05,814 --> 01:22:07,357 Bullshit. 1201 01:22:07,357 --> 01:22:10,216 Captain Knauer says he saw you planning it with Unger. 1202 01:22:11,548 --> 01:22:13,458 There's no way that could hold up in court. 1203 01:22:13,458 --> 01:22:14,464 Court? 1204 01:22:16,189 --> 01:22:20,489 Hell, boy. In Allenville, I'm the judge, I'm the jury, 1205 01:22:20,489 --> 01:22:24,872 and in your particular case, I'm the executioner. 1206 01:22:25,492 --> 01:22:28,655 - What do you want? - I want you to lose. 1207 01:22:28,655 --> 01:22:30,132 I can't do that. 1208 01:22:30,132 --> 01:22:32,919 Course you can. After all, you've had plenty of practice. 1209 01:22:32,919 --> 01:22:36,569 But the men! It's more important to them than it is to you. 1210 01:22:37,562 --> 01:22:39,605 Okay. Suit yourself. 1211 01:22:39,733 --> 01:22:43,586 Spend the next 25 years of your useless life in prison. 1212 01:22:45,478 --> 01:22:47,207 All right, I'll do it. 1213 01:22:51,071 --> 01:22:54,742 But I don't want my guys hurt. You get ahead, you coast. We clear? 1214 01:22:54,742 --> 01:22:57,651 Fine. Right after I get a two-touchdown lead. 1215 01:22:58,973 --> 01:23:01,388 I tell you what bothers me the most, warden. 1216 01:23:03,530 --> 01:23:05,760 That you're not gonna be out there on that field with us, 1217 01:23:06,325 --> 01:23:08,695 gettin' what you got comin' to you. 1218 01:23:11,161 --> 01:23:14,341 The only thing comin' to me is victory. 1219 01:23:16,124 --> 01:23:20,370 Mean Machine. It's cute. 1220 01:23:22,934 --> 01:23:25,034 - Let's go, boy! - We can do it, baby! 1221 01:23:25,034 --> 01:23:25,942 Captain. 1222 01:23:27,176 --> 01:23:28,544 May I have a word? 1223 01:23:28,707 --> 01:23:30,882 Don't worry, warden, we'll take care of business. 1224 01:23:31,226 --> 01:23:32,818 I already have. 1225 01:23:32,818 --> 01:23:35,718 What? We can win this on our own. 1226 01:23:35,718 --> 01:23:39,777 Captain, a man in my position doesn't leave things to chance. 1227 01:23:40,140 --> 01:23:43,450 Now, after you get a comfortable three-touchdown lead, 1228 01:23:43,450 --> 01:23:46,450 I want you to inflict as much pain as humanly possible. 1229 01:23:46,450 --> 01:23:48,290 Do not let up, you hear? 1230 01:23:48,912 --> 01:23:51,528 I want those cons to understand who owns 'em. 1231 01:23:52,341 --> 01:23:55,011 - Do I make myself clear? - Oh, yes, sir. 1232 01:23:55,948 --> 01:23:57,088 Good. 1233 01:23:57,686 --> 01:24:01,299 There's the kickoff, and we're under way in the second half. 1234 01:24:06,582 --> 01:24:09,667 Megget is finally brought down at the guards' 33, 1235 01:24:09,667 --> 01:24:11,376 where Paul Crewe will take over. 1236 01:24:11,376 --> 01:24:13,437 And what a first half he's had. 1237 01:24:13,437 --> 01:24:14,913 Here we go! Here we go! 1238 01:24:17,680 --> 01:24:18,868 Down, set! 1239 01:24:19,616 --> 01:24:21,458 Y 45. Hut! 1240 01:24:22,521 --> 01:24:24,624 On first and 10, Crewe will pass. 1241 01:24:24,624 --> 01:24:26,697 He's got Deacon wide open. 1242 01:24:26,697 --> 01:24:27,915 Oh, incomplete. 1243 01:24:27,915 --> 01:24:29,406 It's okay. Get your head up. 1244 01:24:30,006 --> 01:24:31,226 It's all right, man. 1245 01:24:32,606 --> 01:24:34,052 Come on, Paulie. 1246 01:24:34,078 --> 01:24:37,248 Second and 10 from the 33. Crewe's looking for Deacon once again. 1247 01:24:37,248 --> 01:24:38,771 - He's open! - He's open! 1248 01:24:40,149 --> 01:24:43,599 But overthrows it. And it's picked off by Papajohn. 1249 01:24:43,837 --> 01:24:46,005 Look out! He might go. 1250 01:24:47,170 --> 01:24:48,945 Say goodbye. 1251 01:24:49,312 --> 01:24:50,701 Touchdown! 1252 01:24:52,340 --> 01:24:55,534 The first mistake Crewe's made all day. 1253 01:24:58,696 --> 01:25:02,156 Short memory, baby. We'll get it back. We'll get it back. 1254 01:25:02,419 --> 01:25:03,864 Defense, let's do this! 1255 01:25:05,160 --> 01:25:06,990 8:38 left in the third quarter, 1256 01:25:06,990 --> 01:25:09,005 and Crewe has struggled thus far in the second half. 1257 01:25:09,005 --> 01:25:09,720 Hut! 1258 01:25:10,589 --> 01:25:13,891 The pitch to Megget. Oh, my! That ball is live! 1259 01:25:14,903 --> 01:25:16,350 It's picked up by Lambert. 1260 01:25:16,350 --> 01:25:20,017 He's at the 15, the 10, and he will score! 1261 01:25:21,275 --> 01:25:23,036 Yeah! Touchdown! Yeah! 1262 01:25:23,036 --> 01:25:27,120 Crewe took a shot on that play and he's getting up slowly. 1263 01:25:27,543 --> 01:25:30,517 Meanwhile, in the end zone, the guards have something to celebrate, 1264 01:25:30,517 --> 01:25:33,279 as they find themselves up by two touchdowns. 1265 01:25:33,279 --> 01:25:37,039 This is simply a different Paul Crewe we're seeing here in the second half. 1266 01:25:37,039 --> 01:25:39,723 There's the old Paul Crewe we love to write about. 1267 01:25:39,911 --> 01:25:41,410 What the hell are you doin' out there? 1268 01:25:41,410 --> 01:25:42,645 I'm done. 1269 01:25:44,267 --> 01:25:46,312 I'm out. That's it. 1270 01:25:48,062 --> 01:25:49,928 - Where you hurtin'? - My knee. 1271 01:25:49,928 --> 01:25:52,086 - Seems okay to me. - Well, it ain't. 1272 01:25:54,443 --> 01:25:58,499 If Crewe can't go, I don't know how deep these guys are at quarterback. 1273 01:26:00,185 --> 01:26:03,330 The guards will try to keep it away from Megget, so they'll pooch kick. 1274 01:26:03,330 --> 01:26:04,570 Fair catch. Fair catch. 1275 01:26:04,570 --> 01:26:07,081 As Big Tony calls for the fair catch. 1276 01:26:07,635 --> 01:26:11,229 Watch out. That was as late a hit as I've ever seen. 1277 01:26:13,120 --> 01:26:16,485 And even some of the home crowd not liking that one. 1278 01:26:16,988 --> 01:26:18,024 Hang in there, partner. 1279 01:26:18,024 --> 01:26:22,231 Can o' corn. Can o' corn, and I'll be fine. Can o' corn. 1280 01:26:25,023 --> 01:26:27,303 Yeah, I'd have a hard time looking at me too. 1281 01:26:27,469 --> 01:26:28,628 Brucie! 1282 01:26:28,868 --> 01:26:29,821 Yeah, coach. 1283 01:26:30,134 --> 01:26:33,419 You're the only one that knows this offense, son. Now, do it. 1284 01:26:33,419 --> 01:26:36,081 Coming into the game, replacing the injured Paul Crewe, 1285 01:26:36,081 --> 01:26:37,505 is number 1, Brucie. 1286 01:26:37,505 --> 01:26:39,681 All right, all right. Crewe's playing like shit. 1287 01:26:39,681 --> 01:26:41,646 That's his problem. I'm gonna bring us back. 1288 01:26:41,646 --> 01:26:44,467 Right, 32 Flex Dive Motion on one. Ready! 1289 01:26:44,467 --> 01:26:45,102 Break! 1290 01:26:45,102 --> 01:26:48,055 Yeah. It's Brucie's time to shine, baby. 1291 01:26:48,390 --> 01:26:50,977 Okay. Down, set. Hut! 1292 01:26:50,977 --> 01:26:54,660 There's the snap and the ball is fumbled. And the guards recover. 1293 01:26:55,043 --> 01:26:56,983 I... knew I shouldn't have had that popcorn. 1294 01:26:57,820 --> 01:27:01,267 The guards are in command here as we move late into the third quarter. 1295 01:27:01,267 --> 01:27:02,536 Ninety-eight. Hut! Hut! 1296 01:27:03,774 --> 01:27:06,451 The give is to Potter. Back to Knauer. 1297 01:27:06,451 --> 01:27:09,306 He's got a man open deep downfield. 1298 01:27:09,306 --> 01:27:11,123 He'll throw the flea-flicker! 1299 01:27:11,123 --> 01:27:14,098 And he's got it. Touchdown, guards. 1300 01:27:14,128 --> 01:27:17,134 And this game is starting to look like a blowout. 1301 01:27:19,072 --> 01:27:23,284 Hey, man, after all Caretaker did, this is how you show him love? 1302 01:27:23,284 --> 01:27:24,743 Don't worry about it. 1303 01:27:24,743 --> 01:27:27,366 You haven't changed one damn bit. 1304 01:27:31,363 --> 01:27:32,664 All right. Down, set! 1305 01:27:32,664 --> 01:27:34,430 Back in at quarterback is Brucie, 1306 01:27:34,430 --> 01:27:36,823 who will try to find a handle on the ball this time. 1307 01:27:38,102 --> 01:27:39,650 Throw it, Brucie! 1308 01:27:39,869 --> 01:27:40,982 Oh, shit! 1309 01:27:41,533 --> 01:27:42,716 And look out. 1310 01:27:46,586 --> 01:27:48,406 Ooh, what a shot he took! 1311 01:27:48,823 --> 01:27:50,782 How much more blood do you want? 1312 01:27:53,467 --> 01:27:57,001 I think the cons are just about out of options at quarterback. 1313 01:28:15,651 --> 01:28:17,680 Hey, Skitchy, let me ask you something. 1314 01:28:18,480 --> 01:28:21,345 When you popped the warden, was it worth it? 1315 01:28:21,345 --> 01:28:23,888 Was it worth spendin' the rest of your life in here? 1316 01:28:24,123 --> 01:28:28,491 Was it worth it? It was worth every goddamn second. 1317 01:28:35,557 --> 01:28:37,122 What the hell is he doin'? 1318 01:28:39,971 --> 01:28:43,470 Paul Crewe must be feeling better, because... here he comes. 1319 01:28:43,909 --> 01:28:46,193 All right, I missed you guys, so I'm back. 1320 01:28:46,229 --> 01:28:48,394 We got a lot of work to do. Let's get it goin'. 1321 01:28:48,394 --> 01:28:51,142 Deuce right, 89. Fly on two. Ready? 1322 01:28:53,321 --> 01:28:54,494 Break. 1323 01:28:55,821 --> 01:28:58,835 As we start the fourth quarter, cons down by three touchdowns. 1324 01:28:58,835 --> 01:29:00,222 Wide left! Tight left! 1325 01:29:01,311 --> 01:29:03,725 Black 90. Hut! Hut! 1326 01:29:04,027 --> 01:29:06,601 Here comes the blitz, and no one's blocking! 1327 01:29:06,805 --> 01:29:09,391 And Crewe will be sacked for a big loss. 1328 01:29:10,085 --> 01:29:14,325 That looked like a message to Crewe from his offensive line. 1329 01:29:15,727 --> 01:29:17,345 Did you see that, man? They're quittin' on 'im. 1330 01:29:17,345 --> 01:29:19,343 Okay, baby. Jailbreak Blitz. Ready? 1331 01:29:19,683 --> 01:29:21,951 We got that out of the way. I deserved it. 1332 01:29:21,951 --> 01:29:24,645 - Now we gotta play some football. - Switch it! Switch it! 1333 01:29:24,645 --> 01:29:26,622 Cons need to do something to get back in this game. 1334 01:29:26,622 --> 01:29:28,070 And that's not it! 1335 01:29:29,290 --> 01:29:31,222 And Crewe is leveled! 1336 01:29:31,222 --> 01:29:33,535 I don't think he's gonna get up from that one. 1337 01:29:33,535 --> 01:29:34,485 - Nice hit! - Oh, yeah! 1338 01:29:36,772 --> 01:29:39,593 But he is. And I don't know how, after that last hit. 1339 01:29:39,593 --> 01:29:40,531 All right, punt team! 1340 01:29:40,531 --> 01:29:43,022 Keep them off the field! We're goin' for it. 1341 01:29:43,022 --> 01:29:45,438 Dumbshits are goin' for it! Let's go! Let's go! 1342 01:29:45,468 --> 01:29:48,163 Come on back, if he wants to get his ass kicked. Come on back. 1343 01:29:48,280 --> 01:29:49,934 This is unbelievable. 1344 01:29:49,934 --> 01:29:53,761 Fine. You guys don't wanna help me, I'll do it on my own. On two. 1345 01:29:55,001 --> 01:29:55,973 Let's go, to the line. 1346 01:29:55,973 --> 01:29:56,939 On fourth and 20, 1347 01:29:56,939 --> 01:30:00,692 the cons are gonna go for it. This could be the ball game right here. 1348 01:30:00,692 --> 01:30:02,711 Red 98. Hut! Hut! 1349 01:30:04,368 --> 01:30:07,878 Crewe dodges the blitz, but he loses his helmet. 1350 01:30:10,645 --> 01:30:12,694 And he's not going down. 1351 01:30:17,871 --> 01:30:20,142 He's got the first down. 1352 01:30:20,142 --> 01:30:21,140 Time-out! 1353 01:30:22,459 --> 01:30:24,137 - Not bad. - Not bad. 1354 01:30:30,833 --> 01:30:31,987 Huddle up. 1355 01:30:33,062 --> 01:30:34,043 Look. 1356 01:30:35,151 --> 01:30:38,818 I'm sure you already know this, but I never said it out loud. 1357 01:30:39,816 --> 01:30:41,655 I did throw that game. 1358 01:30:42,945 --> 01:30:44,216 I did it. 1359 01:30:45,034 --> 01:30:47,674 I was in a bad way with some worse people. 1360 01:30:48,350 --> 01:30:49,451 After I did it, 1361 01:30:49,840 --> 01:30:54,039 I felt so shitty I wish... wish I would have just let them kill me instead. 1362 01:30:54,474 --> 01:30:58,636 Now... the warden wants to pin Caretaker's murder on me 1363 01:30:58,843 --> 01:31:00,740 if I don't throw this game. 1364 01:31:02,534 --> 01:31:04,855 So it looks like I'm gonna get to know you guys a lot better, 1365 01:31:04,855 --> 01:31:07,274 cause I ain't doin' that twice in a lifetime. 1366 01:31:07,766 --> 01:31:10,959 We got a little time left. We can still do this. 1367 01:31:10,959 --> 01:31:13,906 I'm beggin' ya. Put your hands in here. 1368 01:31:23,542 --> 01:31:26,472 Okay. Thank you. Now, who are we? 1369 01:31:26,472 --> 01:31:27,552 Mean Machine! 1370 01:31:27,552 --> 01:31:29,351 Come on, Mean Machine, let's go! 1371 01:31:33,226 --> 01:31:34,707 That's great news. 1372 01:31:34,707 --> 01:31:37,477 All right. We got ourselves a game. 1373 01:31:37,477 --> 01:31:39,052 Brown 65. Hut! 1374 01:31:39,052 --> 01:31:42,540 First and 10 from the 30. Crewe finds Deacon open in the flat. 1375 01:31:45,066 --> 01:31:45,762 Hut! 1376 01:31:47,483 --> 01:31:50,618 The give is to Megget. And he fights his way for a 9-yard gain. 1377 01:31:50,618 --> 01:31:52,422 One yard, baby. One more yard. 1378 01:31:53,256 --> 01:31:54,613 Hut! Hut! 1379 01:31:54,613 --> 01:31:56,746 Crewe tries a sneak. Or is it? 1380 01:31:56,746 --> 01:31:58,635 He flips it back to Megget. 1381 01:31:58,635 --> 01:32:01,670 Megget's got the first down and more. 1382 01:32:08,803 --> 01:32:12,504 And Megget is down to the 4-yard line, where it'll be first and goal. 1383 01:32:12,921 --> 01:32:13,629 Hut! 1384 01:32:14,388 --> 01:32:18,491 Crewe hands it to Turley. And look at the big man go. 1385 01:32:18,522 --> 01:32:19,702 Tackle 'im! 1386 01:32:25,224 --> 01:32:26,564 Touchdown! 1387 01:32:27,278 --> 01:32:31,585 That was some rumbling, bumbling stumbling right there. 1388 01:32:31,585 --> 01:32:33,297 And listen to the crowd 1389 01:32:33,297 --> 01:32:37,070 as this underdog con team is startin' to win them over. 1390 01:32:44,677 --> 01:32:48,109 Third down and 6. Guards have the ball on their own 29-yard line. 1391 01:32:48,109 --> 01:32:50,615 Knauer needs a first down to put this game away. 1392 01:32:50,615 --> 01:32:54,294 White 50! White 50! 1393 01:32:54,294 --> 01:32:56,513 And look at Battle take off. 1394 01:32:57,519 --> 01:32:59,506 He knocks the ball loose! 1395 01:33:00,188 --> 01:33:04,180 There's a dogpile in the backfield. The refs are trying to sort it out. 1396 01:33:06,538 --> 01:33:08,165 Ah, my arm! 1397 01:33:09,733 --> 01:33:11,584 The cons recover! 1398 01:33:11,951 --> 01:33:14,381 Yeah, we got the ball! We got the ball! We got it! We got it! 1399 01:33:15,324 --> 01:33:20,118 With just over two minutes left to be played, this has turned into a game. 1400 01:33:20,207 --> 01:33:23,479 Crewe will start in great field position at the guards' 25. 1401 01:33:23,902 --> 01:33:27,519 And look at this formation. The guards, they're confused. 1402 01:33:27,519 --> 01:33:28,861 Shift over! Move! 1403 01:33:28,861 --> 01:33:31,510 They're trying to call time-out, but there's the snap. 1404 01:33:34,796 --> 01:33:38,697 Moss is behind a wall of cons. I wouldn't wanna be in front of that thing. 1405 01:33:41,621 --> 01:33:43,253 And they'll score! 1406 01:33:47,576 --> 01:33:50,177 - Hey! Is that legal? - Yeah, it is. 1407 01:33:50,177 --> 01:33:52,182 - Is that a touchdown? - Yes, it is. 1408 01:33:52,182 --> 01:33:54,970 What is going on here? Shit! 1409 01:33:55,455 --> 01:33:59,260 And with the extra point, the cons are down by just seven. 1410 01:34:05,529 --> 01:34:07,460 - Brucie! - Yeah. Yeah, coach. 1411 01:34:08,476 --> 01:34:10,442 I want you to go out there and kick off. 1412 01:34:10,442 --> 01:34:12,150 - I can do it. - Kick off! 1413 01:34:12,792 --> 01:34:17,269 - Brucie can't kick worth a shit. - I know. Recover the ball. 1414 01:34:17,868 --> 01:34:20,373 Jesus Christ, my Savior. If you help me out with this one, 1415 01:34:20,373 --> 01:34:24,043 I promise to stop cheating on my wife with black guys. Amen. 1416 01:34:24,043 --> 01:34:26,307 Back in the game is Brucie, and he'll do the honors. 1417 01:34:26,307 --> 01:34:29,358 And it's a horrible kick. But the ball is tipped! 1418 01:34:30,970 --> 01:34:32,849 And the cons have come up with it! 1419 01:34:34,165 --> 01:34:36,578 - We got it! One time-out. - Got it. Got it. Got it. 1420 01:34:36,578 --> 01:34:40,294 That's it, Brucie. Oh-go! My bad. My bad. My bad. Come on. 1421 01:34:41,743 --> 01:34:42,920 Give me that. 1422 01:34:43,683 --> 01:34:44,597 Damn... 1423 01:34:46,219 --> 01:34:48,544 Well, that felt unnecessary. 1424 01:34:48,544 --> 01:34:51,380 Cons have enough time for one final drive. 1425 01:34:52,421 --> 01:34:54,885 Crewe drops back to pass. He's under pressure. 1426 01:34:54,885 --> 01:34:56,429 - Watch the pass! - He's looking for Deacon. 1427 01:34:56,987 --> 01:34:59,155 He gets the ball up, but he's leveled. 1428 01:34:59,962 --> 01:35:02,907 And Deacon's got it for a first down, but he stayed inbounds. 1429 01:35:02,907 --> 01:35:04,873 Tick, tick, tick. The clock keeps running. 1430 01:35:04,873 --> 01:35:06,987 Clock's runnin'. Clock's still runnin'! Clock's still runnin'! 1431 01:35:08,227 --> 01:35:09,210 On the ball! 1432 01:35:09,454 --> 01:35:11,258 Damn it! Do something! 1433 01:35:11,312 --> 01:35:12,078 Hut! 1434 01:35:13,066 --> 01:35:16,291 Crewe. He's looking to throw. Under pressure again. 1435 01:35:16,291 --> 01:35:19,078 Go! Get rid of it! Go! Go! 1436 01:35:19,078 --> 01:35:21,157 He pitches it to Megget. He's got some room. 1437 01:35:21,157 --> 01:35:23,513 Here we go. Here we go. Go, Megg! Go, Megget! 1438 01:35:23,513 --> 01:35:26,372 - Go, Megget! - Get 'im! 1439 01:35:26,372 --> 01:35:29,090 He could go all... the... way! 1440 01:35:29,090 --> 01:35:30,481 But he won't! 1441 01:35:30,481 --> 01:35:31,562 Goddamn it! 1442 01:35:31,562 --> 01:35:34,012 And Megget is hit hard at the 4, and he's hurt. 1443 01:35:34,605 --> 01:35:35,652 My knee, man! 1444 01:35:38,109 --> 01:35:40,517 You busted your knee for us, we'll bust our ass for you. 1445 01:35:40,517 --> 01:35:42,702 Hey, coach, I need a back! 1446 01:35:42,946 --> 01:35:44,107 Win this shit. 1447 01:35:46,104 --> 01:35:48,593 - I'm goin' in. - Coach, you serious? 1448 01:35:49,050 --> 01:35:50,684 Yeah, I'm serious. 1449 01:35:51,068 --> 01:35:53,566 And look who's coming into the game. 1450 01:35:54,176 --> 01:35:55,654 You can do it! 1451 01:35:55,654 --> 01:35:58,848 Get that old ass of yours in the end zone! 1452 01:35:58,848 --> 01:36:01,851 We gotta win this thing! Come on! 1453 01:36:03,356 --> 01:36:05,962 No, no, no, no. Hey. Old man. 1454 01:36:05,962 --> 01:36:08,148 Absolutely not. You're gonna get killed out here. 1455 01:36:08,148 --> 01:36:11,022 They've been tryin' that for years. Don't worry, I got the perfect play. 1456 01:36:11,022 --> 01:36:13,369 - I ain't handin' you the ball. - You don't have to. 1457 01:36:13,369 --> 01:36:17,336 Nate Scarborough, the former Heisman Trophy winner from 1955, 1458 01:36:17,336 --> 01:36:18,314 is gonna play tailback, 1459 01:36:18,314 --> 01:36:21,318 but he's gotta be in there more for moral support than anything. 1460 01:36:21,318 --> 01:36:23,685 Mean Machine. Mean Machine. 1461 01:36:23,685 --> 01:36:26,804 Mean Machine. Mean Machine. 1462 01:36:26,804 --> 01:36:30,912 Mean Machine, Mean Machine, Mean Machine 1463 01:36:30,912 --> 01:36:32,520 Mean Machine! 1464 01:36:32,520 --> 01:36:34,919 Mean Machine! Mean Machine! 1465 01:36:34,919 --> 01:36:37,161 Six seconds left on the clock. Cons down by seven. 1466 01:36:37,161 --> 01:36:39,549 They must score on this play. 1467 01:36:41,664 --> 01:36:42,964 Don't let them through! 1468 01:36:44,437 --> 01:36:45,504 Down, set! 1469 01:36:46,568 --> 01:36:49,442 - Black 99! - Come on, D! 1470 01:36:49,463 --> 01:36:52,520 Black 99! Hut! Hut! 1471 01:36:52,595 --> 01:36:54,916 The give is to the big man, Turley. 1472 01:36:55,038 --> 01:36:58,285 He's stopped by Lambert at the line for no gain. 1473 01:36:58,818 --> 01:37:00,204 No! Wait! 1474 01:37:01,431 --> 01:37:03,937 The ball's picked up by Scarborough. 1475 01:37:06,918 --> 01:37:07,942 Come on! 1476 01:37:13,700 --> 01:37:15,370 Touchdown! 1477 01:37:23,259 --> 01:37:25,519 What an amazing comeback, folks! 1478 01:37:25,519 --> 01:37:28,107 Taking a play from the old Nebraska playbook. 1479 01:37:28,107 --> 01:37:29,280 The Fumblerooskie. 1480 01:37:29,280 --> 01:37:31,036 Easy. Easy. 1481 01:37:31,036 --> 01:37:35,640 - You still alive, old man? - Never felt better in my life. 1482 01:37:35,640 --> 01:37:37,911 You're a sick bastard. Come here. 1483 01:37:40,010 --> 01:37:44,282 And now the cons are a mere extra point away from overtime. 1484 01:37:44,282 --> 01:37:45,736 Mean Machine! 1485 01:37:49,018 --> 01:37:52,484 Team vote: We go for the win? We go for the tie? 1486 01:37:52,484 --> 01:37:54,984 Hell, guys, we're convicts. We always go for it all. 1487 01:37:54,984 --> 01:37:55,584 Yeah. 1488 01:37:56,097 --> 01:37:59,944 Unfortunately, that's why we're all in the joint. 1489 01:38:00,199 --> 01:38:01,594 What would Caretaker do? 1490 01:38:03,047 --> 01:38:04,720 Give me that blackboard. 1491 01:38:04,831 --> 01:38:06,103 Yeah, come on! 1492 01:38:06,612 --> 01:38:07,740 Come on. 1493 01:38:10,021 --> 01:38:12,724 - Are you serious? - I don't know. That-that play is wack. 1494 01:38:12,807 --> 01:38:14,297 It's gonna work. 1495 01:38:15,146 --> 01:38:17,401 It's gonna work. Let's go. On the ball. 1496 01:38:17,478 --> 01:38:18,597 Come on! Let's go! 1497 01:38:18,597 --> 01:38:20,588 Let's go, y'all! Let's go! 1498 01:38:20,800 --> 01:38:22,432 I think it's gonna work. 1499 01:38:27,722 --> 01:38:30,445 And wait a minute. Crewe is coming back into the game. 1500 01:38:30,445 --> 01:38:32,792 The cons are gonna go for the win. 1501 01:38:32,792 --> 01:38:34,132 They're goin' for it. 1502 01:38:34,874 --> 01:38:37,962 Crewe... trying to settle his team into formation. 1503 01:38:37,962 --> 01:38:40,003 But there seems to be a lot of confusion. 1504 01:38:40,003 --> 01:38:41,560 Come on! Run the play! 1505 01:38:41,560 --> 01:38:43,958 Turley! Turley. Over here. 1506 01:38:43,958 --> 01:38:46,989 Move your giant ass right here! Right here. 1507 01:38:47,010 --> 01:38:48,776 Come on, baby. Come on. 1508 01:38:50,027 --> 01:38:53,072 The play clock is still running. Crewe better call a time-out. 1509 01:38:53,072 --> 01:38:54,040 Come on, Crewe! 1510 01:38:56,197 --> 01:38:57,790 They don't know what we're doin'! 1511 01:38:57,790 --> 01:38:59,523 Run the play we set up. 1512 01:38:59,523 --> 01:39:02,188 I think you're still dizzy from that hit! 1513 01:39:02,934 --> 01:39:04,866 The snap is to Deacon. 1514 01:39:05,072 --> 01:39:06,059 It's a trick. 1515 01:39:06,393 --> 01:39:08,601 He throws it to Crewe. 1516 01:39:31,092 --> 01:39:35,027 They did it! Unbelievable! The cons win! 1517 01:39:47,783 --> 01:39:49,196 We win! 1518 01:39:49,196 --> 01:39:51,994 Group hug in the shower tonight! 1519 01:39:53,758 --> 01:39:56,437 Or not. Or not. 1520 01:39:58,138 --> 01:39:59,494 Well, there you have it. 1521 01:39:59,494 --> 01:40:01,900 A bunch of ruthless criminals have beaten 1522 01:40:01,900 --> 01:40:04,659 the men that uphold our justice system. 1523 01:40:04,659 --> 01:40:08,104 Criminals are people too,Chris. Now, give me your wallet. 1524 01:40:08,420 --> 01:40:11,072 - What? - Ah, just kiddin'. 1525 01:40:15,287 --> 01:40:19,158 You got a lot of balls, Crewe. You played a hell of a game. 1526 01:40:19,229 --> 01:40:22,858 And don't worry. I know you had nothin' to do with Caretaker's murder. 1527 01:40:23,063 --> 01:40:27,134 - And I'll back that up. - Thank you, baby. 1528 01:40:28,777 --> 01:40:31,190 Mean Machine! Mean Machine! 1529 01:40:34,144 --> 01:40:38,326 You humiliated me. I can't believe you couldn't even win a fixed game. 1530 01:40:41,147 --> 01:40:43,303 Now, where the hell does he think he is goin'? 1531 01:40:46,684 --> 01:40:49,333 He's escapin'. He's escapin'! 1532 01:40:49,368 --> 01:40:53,067 - Officer, shoot that man! - But, sir, there's people. 1533 01:40:55,011 --> 01:40:56,244 Shoot 'im. 1534 01:40:57,203 --> 01:40:58,488 Crewe! 1535 01:40:58,844 --> 01:41:01,533 Captain, I order you to shoot that prisoner. 1536 01:41:04,317 --> 01:41:07,526 - Shoot 'im! Fire! - Crewe! 1537 01:41:07,937 --> 01:41:10,921 Damn it, I'm giving you an order, captain! 1538 01:41:11,067 --> 01:41:13,825 - Crewe! - Pull the trigger! 1539 01:41:32,362 --> 01:41:34,345 It's the game ball. 1540 01:41:41,230 --> 01:41:42,147 Hey. 1541 01:41:46,127 --> 01:41:48,530 Why don't you stick this in your trophy case? 1542 01:41:51,055 --> 01:41:53,194 - You have a nice time, old man? - Yeah. 1543 01:41:53,194 --> 01:41:56,052 Yeah? Okay. So, what do we do now? 1544 01:41:56,052 --> 01:41:58,758 Well, the first thing is, we tell the team where they're hiding Unger. 1545 01:41:58,758 --> 01:42:02,030 Oh, I can't wait to see what Switowski does to him. 1546 01:42:08,604 --> 01:42:09,952 Great game, sir. 1547 01:42:12,832 --> 01:42:16,264 - That's a week in the hotbox! - Who gives a shit? 1548 01:42:17,604 --> 01:42:19,952 "THE END" 1549 01:42:20,832 --> 01:42:30,264