[crowd cheering on TV]
- Coming through, sir. - Take a load off, Alfred.
Jolly good, then.
[static]
Oh, dear.
I trust Master Bruce did pay the cable bill.
Good evening, Gotham!
Joker.
It's me, your most underrated entertainer.
(Joker on TV) 'Oh, how I've tried to make you all laugh'
but I'm not feelin' the love, people.
Every time I bring my brand of funny to Gotham
the only sound I hear is..
[crickets creaking]
But who can blame you?
You're all glued to your idiot boxes.
'And since the media chooses to focus'
'on the tragic side of my crime career..'
...it seems some hilarious counterprograming is in order.
So stay tuned for my brand-new sitcom..
'..Me And The Mayor!'
What happens when you team the crazy crime clown
with Gotham's very own Mayor Grange?
Can't miss comedy, folks.
And it premieres tonight on my very own private network
JTV
just as soon as I abduct my co-star.
[laughing]
Shall I tape it for you, sir?
[bats squawking]
[theme music]
[music continues]
♪ The Batman ♪♪
[bats squawking]
screech
[siren wailing]
[groans] Next time Joker decides to target the mayor
I'll drive.
Sorry, partner
but Cash Tankinson always drives.
Does Cash Tankinson always wear sunglasses at night
and speak in third person? Just curious.
[laughs]
Yeah, chief warned me you'd resent the new guy, so..
I'm your first since what's-his-name, huh?
Bennett. His name was Ethan Bennett.
A real shame Joker went and turned him into clay-face
but Cash Tankinson don't melt so easy.
I'm the last partner you'll ever need, Yin.
[Batwave beeps]
I somehow doubt that.
vroom
[sirens wailing]
What kind of nut announces his crimes
before he commits them?
Joker has to be kidding
if he thinks he could get past Gotham PD.
Joker's not kidding, mayor.
[laughing] H-h-he's joking!
What's wrong with you?
He's joking.
[laughs]
[all gasping]
- Joker? - 'It's The Joker!'
[groans]
[laughs]
[gasps]
[groans]
Get ready for your close-up, Mr. Mayor.
[door opens]
On the floor, clown boy!
Cash Tankinson's kickin' butt and takin' names!
[laughs]
(Joker) 'Stop! Ha-ha, stop!'
[laughing] Such classic dialogue!
What deadpan delivery!
'You are hee-haw-larious!'
'Ever consider acting? You're good.'
Clown boy, you're goin'..
[groans]
...down.
[groans]
My card. We'll do lunch.
[groans]
[muffled groaning]
[Joker laughs]
[groans]
Thank you, Punch.
screech
Judy, chop-chop.
Joker and The Batman.
Sweet.
[engine revving]
Tankinson!
Tankinson, wait up! Oh!
[train chugging]
thud
The Batman?
My biggest fan.
Punch, run this out to him, please.
bam
vroom
Judy, I think this is our turn.
screech
Hm, might have a better chance losing him
in something sportier.
screech
Happy trails, sparky!
[laughs]
crash
vroom
screech
Say hello to Cash Tankinson..
...the detective who finally arrests The Batman.
- Look, the mayor's in-- - Hey, I didn't vote for him.
I can't let the two new men in my life meet like this.
screech
[car door opens]
Nice work, Yin.
Just whose back do you got, anyway?
You ditched me!
I always watch my partner's back.
[bats squawking]
vroom
- 'Sir.' - Anything good on the tube?
The Gators are trailing miserably.
(Batman on Batwave) 'So are we, but I have the feeling'
'Joker's about to announce his next move.'
[Joker laughing on TV]
Quite astute you are, sir.
"Me And The Mayor" is about to premiere.
Help! Someone help me! Please!
[laughing]
Oh, why the long face, Mairzy Doats?
Let me go, you maniac!
[laughs]
Don't you fret, I have just the thing
to turn your frown upside down.
No. Stop!
[stammering] I-I have a family.
[laughing]
[Joker laughing on TV]
Why is Joker engaging in this ghastly business?
It isn't just for the laughs.
Ahh, I know that look.
You have another get-rich-quick scheme
don't you?
Bank robbery? That's crazy!
So crazy it might just work.
You're right again, sir.
[tape rewinding]
Joker is shooting on location
at Main Street Bank.
screech
Oh, Punch!
Hey, the mayor and I are gonna rob the old bank.
Wanna come?
[glass shattering]
[bats squawking]
Now, didn't we all learn an important lesson today?
That's right.
With a positive attitude
and a smile maybe, just maybe
we can all get along!
Tune in to JTV tomorrow night
for a new series and a new co-star
Detective Shades!
[instrumental music]
thud
Bring it on, clown boy!
You mess with the bull, you'll get the horns.
If you let this get personal
it will impair your ability to do your job.
Hey, come on, Yin, doesn't some part of you
wanna slap that grin off of Joker's face?
At least for Burnett?
Bennett.
I'm not losing another partner to this madman.
As your senior officer
I'm ordering you into a police safe house.
What? Police protection?
Cash can take care of Cash.
Fine, then Cash will take care of Cash
off-duty and out of sight
'until we bring Joker down!'
Well, good luck handlin' that lunatic all by yourself.
And since Cash doesn't think you can..
...Cash will.
[crickets creaking]
(Bruce) Chasing down Joker's hit-and-run camera crew
isn't getting Mayor Grange back any quicker
but if the crime clown's pirating a broadcast signal
maybe we can trace it to its source.
And if we can pre-empt JTV
we have a chance of drawing Joker out.
[static]
Speak of the devil.
The frequency's locked on. Tracing it.
[static]
[instrumental music]
And the lummox would be..
Yin's new partner.
He's been set up and he doesn't even know it.
Tankinson?
Oh! I told you to stay away from Joker.
Tankinson, get out of there, it's a trap!
I tracked clownie here.
He's mine.
(Yin) If you've found Joker, it's only because he wanted you to.
'He's broadcasting you live, right now!'
I'm on TV?
Well, I hope clownie's out for some Cash
'cause it's payday, baby.
[Joker laughing]
Freeze!
[gasps] Suave sleuthing there, Shades
but just who do you think's filming you?
Oh, no.
[bats squawking]
Any trace, sir?
(Bruce) 'I may not need it.'
I know where they are.
[instrumental music]
Good evening and welcome.
We're here to raise money
for a very special cause.
Saving Detective Shades' life!
You see, Gotham, if you can't pony up
one million dollars in donations to me..
...the detective's toast.
So what say we open our hearts
'and our checkbooks'
'for our dear friend here?'
[telephone ringing]
We just received $50
from Grandma Shades.
She says
"Please don't harm my grandson
I beg you."
Human compassion at its finest.
Okay, time to roll those numbers!
Oh! Looks like a lost cause.
Maybe it's best we just put this pup down.
What-what are you doin'? No!
Stop, stop. No! No!
[laughing]
thud
(Alfred) 'Sir.'
All frequencies running to and from
the six active television transmitters
here in Gotham have been traced
but there wasn't a pirate frequency among them.
Active?
Then maybe Joker's using an oldie but goodie.
Of course.
'The abandoned Gotham Radio King Tower.'
Now, why would you want to pull the plug on JTV
when we've been such a ratings smash?
[groans]
Gotham's been riveted to their sets
but once again, no one's laughing!
Maybe it's you, Joker. Maybe you're just not funny.
[gasps] It's the viewing public who doesn't have a sense of humor
but I have just the thing to make 'em laugh
die laughing, in fact!
Lights!
'Dispensers of Joker gas'
scattered throughout the city
and through the beauty of wireless
they've been set to empty their chuckle-inducing contents
during the course of my next transmission.
And with the city dying of laughter
it'll be yours to plunder.
[laughs] You betcha, Batsie!
I was going to activate them during a ratings stunt
'when I write these two tired characters off the show.'
[Joker laughing]
[groans]
But now, what could make
more compelling TV than..
...Joker versus The Batman?
poof
[static]
[Joker laughing on TV]
[all gasping]
(Joker on TV) 'Tonight on The Joker..'
'...will Batman defeat our charismatic star'
'in time to save the hostages?'
'Will Joker finally take control of Gotham once and for all?'
'To find out, stay tuned.'
Same Joker crime
same Joker channel!
[laughing]
poof
[Joker laughing]
Don't worry, I promise a fair fight.
[groans]
And by fair, I mean, totally stacked in my favor.
Come on, Batsie, smile for the camera!
Ew!
If he stops the signal, he'll stop the gas!
Don't let him reach the top of the tower!
I have one partner down and one who might need backup.
poof
[all laughing]
[people laughing]
Ah, music to my ears.
Just a few more deep breaths, Gotham.
[gasps]
[electricity crackling]
[static]
[laughing]
[stammering] I don't, I don't get it.
[coughs] Oh.
What happened?
[laughing] What was so funny?
Ooh, he can't win! This is my show!
Guess I'll have to settle with being the sore loser.
Sorry, but JTV's cutting all ties
with you two has-beens.
thud
[groans]
Joker, you've been canceled.
So have they.
[rope creaking]
snap
[grunting]
No! Ugh!
Appreciate the backup.
[siren wailing]
Speaking of, I'm not the only cop
who followed your television exploits.
(man on TV) 'While Gotham citizens are recovering tonight'
after minor exposure to Joker gas
the rescued hostages, Mayor Grange
and Detective Cash Tankinson are listed in good condition
thanks to an antidote believed to be left behind by The Batman.
I hate TV. Oh!
[groans]
[door shuts]
Detective Ellen Yin recommends
refraining from excessive chitchat
if Cash wants to be back on the street anytime soon.
About that, Yin
it, uh, doesn't look like
we'll be workin' together anymore.
I, uh
requested a transfer to a desk job
need a break from the action.
Really? Probably just as well.
'I prefer a strong, silent partner.'
[instrumental music]
[theme music]
♪♪ The Batman ♪♪