[instrumental music]
[sighs]
Hmm. Pizza.
Sounds like a plan.
(male #1 over phone) 'Lee n' Cavalo's.'
Hi. I'd like a veggie pizza. I have a coupon.
'For a free soda.'
'We'll be there in 30 seconds, or your pizza is a free.'
Don't you mean 30 minutes--
[hangs up]
[doorbell rings]
'Pizza delivery!'
Joker.
[grunting]
Here's your pizza!
And, as promised, the soda is free.
Ungh. Umm..
[dramatic music]
[theme music]
[music continues]
♪ The Batman ♪♪
[singing in foreign language]
(male #1) The costume worn onstage
by the first-ever Pagliacci.
Worth its weight in gold thread
would you not say, Mr. Wayne?
Professor Strange, right?
Hugo Strange.
Call me Bruce.
Oh, congratulations, by the way.
'Chief of psychiatry at Arkham.'
Ah, my promotion. Yes. Yes.
Thank you. Thank you.
But I'm equally excited about my project
with your Wayne industries.
I'm afraid I'm not quite up to speed on the particulars.
Oh, it's a revolutionary device
which will truly open doors
to the criminally insane mind.
A subject which I find endlessly fascinating, Bruce.
[Joker laughing]
Oh, my.
- It's the Joker! - Let's get out of here!
[laughing]
Just what I've always wanted.
Fancy pants.
[laughing]
An escaped patient on the loose?
- Doc? - I'm a tad embarrassed, Bruce.
Bruce?
Well, what a coin-ki-dink.
I've been wanting to discuss the Arkham diet with you.
Too many nuts!
Aah!
Fascinating.
Like watching two sides of the same coin.
I never pegged you for an opera buff, Joker.
As any opera buff will tell you
it ain't over till the fat lady sings.
Or, in this case
my lovely diva Detective Yin.
Yin, do you read me?
Detective Yin.
[Batwave beeping]
[clock ticking]
Where am I?
What?
Joker, let me out!
'Joker? Joker! Let me out of here!'
Talk, Joker.
Well, you see, I've always wanted to stage my own opera.
All I needed was the right suit and a leading lady.
'You look like you could really hit the low notes.'
Wanna sing backup?
Where is she?
Somewhere in a box, set to spring free in eight hours
with a really big pop.
That is, unless you let me waltz out of here.
I don't negotiate with psychos.
As I tried to explain, Chief Rojas
Joker will never voluntarily divulge
Detective Yin's whereabouts, never.
At least, not in time to save her.
Ooh, headshrinker in the house.
So what do you suggest, professor?
I have developed a device that allows its user
to tap directly into a patient's mind
'like a two-way radio transmission.'
You gotta be kidding me.
Hardly.
The technology is untested
and therefore risky.
But I am willing to volunteer.
And what makes you so sure Joker will be willing to cooperate?
Another voice in my head?
The more the merrier!
If clown-boy likes it, I don't.
What alternative do we have
to save Detective Yin?
Ugh.
Set it up.
Sir?
It's the Wayne industries prototype of Strange's device.
Fully operational, I take it?
Professor Strange may mean well
but I think the Batman's had more field experience with Joker.
We use Batwave to jack into Arkham server
where we can piggyback Strange's frequency.
And enter Joker's crazed cranium
where you shall somehow uncover Yin's location.
Somehow.
If I may say, sir, this is positively daft.
You could be risking your own sanity.
[computer beeps]
(Batman) System's ready.
You may begin.
[electricity crackling]
Proceed.
I already have, professor.
Well, then you've done something wrong.
I'll check it myself.
Well, this isn't my machine.
[laughing]
Welcome to my head. Ha ha ha ha ha!
[laughing]
It works! I'm inside your mind!
That's right, egghead.
And if you think you can find
where I'm hiding Detective Yin
step right up and explore the insanity!
Three shows nightly!
Joker's childhood
the inevitable key to his mental state.
'Little boy! Come here!'
'I have questions to ask of you.'
He didn't even ask about Yin-in-the-box.
What's with that?
I've captured the frequency, Master Bruce.
Send me in.
[sighs]
[Joker laughing]
Gotham?
[Joker laughing]
'Joker's Gotham.'
Egad! A Batman in my belfry!
Where are you keeping Yin?
Howling at the moon, eh?
I thought I was the crazy one.
Tell me where she is, Joker.
Or I'll see to it you never leave Arkham.
Make yourself at home, Batty.
Just watch out for the loose screws.
(Joker) You better bolt!
(female #1) Help! Help!
- Psych! - What ma said!
Enough mind games, Joker.
Tell me where you have Yin hidden now!
[high voice] I'll never talk.
[mumbling]
- 'Ha ha ha ha ha!' - 'Ha ha ha ha!'
(Batman) Joker won't consciously talk.
I need to ply his subconscious mind for clues, but where?
[Joker laughing]
Joker's idea factory?
"Y" for Yin?
Unh!
Ooh!
[Joker laughing]
(male #2) No, "Y" for yucks.
Let me guess. You're looking for the detective.
You're..
The only shadow of his former self
left in this crazy place.
It's my day job.
What I really want is to make people laugh.
Where is she?
That's top-secret.
You don't know what he'd do to me.
Her life depends on it.
[sighs] Wrong department.
You want current schemes, around the corner to your--
(Joker) 'Now what did we discuss about giving away family secrets?'
Aah!
Water's warm, Batman!
Dive in!
[laughing]
(Batman) '"Current schemes."'
[Joker laughing]
(Joker) 'Better hurry, Batman.'
'Yin's running out of time.'
[clock ticking]
And how did you cope with this lack of attention
from your parents?
The Batman?
How did you manage to get here?
I'm the only one with the means of..
I'm searching for Detective Yin
like yourself.
You're putting yourself at great risk.
Clearly, you possess a deep-rooted need to rescue.
Focus, professor.
Yin's running out of time.
A very strong need.
'Could it stem from a past trauma'
'perhaps someone you once failed to rescue?'
(Joker) 'This is an outrage!'
In my head, I'm the headliner!
I demand to be center stage
so analyze this!
'So you're a shrink.'
'Tell me, why do I cross the road?'
(Joker) 'It's showtime!'
Joker said he wanted to stage his own opera.
[Joker singing opera]
[laughing]
'Oh, Batman, help me! Help me!'
I'm trapped, but I don't know where
and my time's running out.
[deep voice] Duh..
I'm comin', Yinnie!
[explosion]
(Joker) 'Ow! That's gotta hurt!'
[all Jokers laughing]
Your need to rescue is so dominant, Batman
that, uh, failure is bound to make you cuckoo.
Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
[all Jokers laughing]
Enough, Joker! Where's Yin?
[all Jokers laughing]
I said, "Where's Yin?"
[laughter stops]
You're dancing in a hornets' nest, fella.
How many Jokers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Wouldn't know.
They're too busy loosening Batman's screws!
[all Jokers laughing]
Ah..
[laughing]
(Yin) Save me, Batman.
[all Jokers laughing]
[laughing]
His brainwave activity
is growing frenetic.
[laughing]
Oh, dear.
'He's going mad.'
[laughing]
[beeping]
Master Bruce.
'Master Bruce!'
Master Bruce, please snap out of it.
You must come out of there at once!
I won't fail!
[grunts]
(Joker) 'There's no point in resisting, Batman.'
In my brain
I pull the strings.
You may control your mind, Joker
but I won't let you control mine!
Tell me where you're keeping her.
Nope! I'm not singin'!
Can't make me.
I'll make you sing
if I have to turn your mind inside out!
If you really want to get inside my head, Batman
I'll take you so far in
you'll never find your way out.
(Yin) 'Batman, is that you?'
Detective Yin.
Why didn't you save me, Batman?
[Joker laughing] Welcome to my world.
[breathing heavily]
You're finally where you belong.
Arkham!
[laughing]
[breathing heavily]
A pity you went through all that trouble
to get here, Batman
because now you're in deep
and there's no way out.
(Batman) Strange referred to this
as a two-way transmission.
Just need to find..
...the way out.
Huh?
[Joker screams]
Aah!
It's over?
I hate abrupt endings.
Was she there?
Yes, she certainly was.
[gasps]
No. It can't be!
Thank you, professor.
I understand you saved my life.
No! You couldn't have found her!
I did not sing!
No, not consciously
but while your mind was preoccupied with the Batman
I was able to glean the truth
from your subconscious.
All you did was sing.
All those sad clowns, the arias.
You had opera on the brain.
Well, duh!
You pulled Yin out from under the Gotham symphony hall stage,
didn't you?
Wait a minute.
(all) Thanks for that.
What?
Where are we?
In my mind.
[bats screeching]
Aah!
Master Bruce?
Are you of sound mind?
I know where he's keeping Yin.
[alarm dings]
(Joker) 'It's showtime!'
'10...'
Somebody, please..
'8...7...6...'
'5...'
'4...'
'3...'
'2...'
Aah!
So what took you?
It's been a crazy night.
[Joker sobbing]
(Strange) 'The tears of a clown.'
The rage behind the mirror.
Tonight, I merely glimpsed
Joker's peculiar form of madness.
So many more roads to cross
'before I can get to...'
'...the other side.'
[theme music]
♪♪ The Batman ♪♪