1 00:00:00,834 --> 00:00:02,136 PREVIOUSLY ON "BOSTON LEGAL"... 2 00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:04,172 I HAVE AN 80% CHANCE OF GETTING ALZHEIMER'S? 3 00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:07,908 HAVE YOU BEEN FEELING OTHER SYMPTOMS LATELY? 4 00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:10,144 SOMETIMES I FEEL A LITTLE FOGGY. 5 00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:13,714 I DON'T SEEM TO ALWAYS GET THINGS. WE ALL KNOW IT, WE LAUGH IT OFF, 6 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:15,849 WE SAY, "ISN'T THE MAD COW CUTE?" 7 00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:18,052 AT WHAT POINT DO WE ALL ADMIT THE MAN NEEDS HELP? 8 00:00:18,086 --> 00:00:21,422 THE FIRM IS GOING BROKE? WE MAY HAVE TO SHUT OUR DOORS. 9 00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:22,990 DID I KNOW THIS AND FORGET? 10 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,892 YOU'VE BEEN ALMOST LIKE A BIG SISTER TO ME. 11 00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:27,395 IF YOU KNEW THIS CRAZY CATHERINE PIPER... 12 00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:30,030 DO YOU THINK THEY CONSIDERED ME SANE? 13 00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:32,866 IF ONLY THEY COULD KNOW YOU LIKE I DO. 14 00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:37,738 *** 15 00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:41,409 (elevator bell dings) 16 00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:45,579 (indistinct conversations) 17 00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:51,185 UH... 18 00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:54,888 (indistinct conversations continue) 19 00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:57,024 HELLO, DEAR. 20 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,559 MAY I HELP YOU? 21 00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:01,061 YEAH, I'M LOOKING FOR A LAWYER. 22 00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:03,464 UH, YES, I SUSPECTED AS MUCH. 23 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:04,865 YOU'RE IN A LAW FIRM. 24 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,467 UH, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, DEAR? 25 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:09,570 WELL, I, UH, I GOT INTO HARVARD, AND THEN-- 26 00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:13,541 A PRETTY LITTLE THING LIKE YOU? (laughs) OH, PLEASE. 27 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,743 WHO'D WE DO, SWEETHEART? 28 00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:17,611 THEN THEY RESCINDED MY ADMISSION, 29 00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:19,713 AND NOW I WOULD LIKE TO SUE THEM. 30 00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:21,749 (laughs) OF COURSE YOU WOULD. 31 00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:25,286 UM, KATIE, BE A DEAR AND HELP THIS YOUNG LADY. 32 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:27,321 UH, KATIE WILL HELP YOU, DEAR. 33 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,659 WHY DON'T WE GO TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM? 34 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:34,094 OKAY. 35 00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:35,496 HELLO. 36 00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:36,397 (gasps) 37 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,832 WHO ARE YOU? 38 00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:42,136 UH, I'M CATHERINE, HONEY. D-- (clears throat) WHO ARE YOU? 39 00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:44,972 CARL SACK. MAY I HELP YOU? 40 00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:47,841 I DOUBT IT. UH, YOU STRIKE ME AS PUSHY. 41 00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,743 MAY I ASK, 42 00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:53,347 AND I THINK I MAY, BEING, UH, A SENIOR PARTNER, 43 00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:55,749 JUST WH-WHAT... WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 44 00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,985 I WORK HERE, DEAR. 45 00:01:58,018 --> 00:01:59,620 YOU WORK HERE? 46 00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:01,755 YES, DEAR. WHO HIRED YOU? 47 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:05,593 SHIRLEY SCHMIDT DID, DEAR. SHE'S MY OLDER SISTER. 48 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:08,496 I THINK IF SHIRLEY SCHMIDT HAD HIRED YOU, 49 00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:11,965 SHE WOULD'VE TOLD ME. REALLY? DOES SHE TELL YOU EVERYTHING? 50 00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:14,635 DID SHE TELL YOU SHE WENT TO CABO FOR THE WEEK? 51 00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:16,003 SHE DID, 52 00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:18,872 AND SHE LEFT ME A CONTACT NUMBER... (keypad beeping) 53 00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:21,542 IF YOU CAN IMAGINE. WELL, THAT'S LOVELY. 54 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:22,810 (Kevin Edelman's "Pimps N' Trixx" ringtone playing) 55 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,812 DID SHE TELL YOU HER CALLS 56 00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:27,548 WERE BEING FORWARDED TO HER YOUNGER SISTER? 57 00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:30,651 HELLO. WHO'S CALLING, PLEASE? 58 00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:33,621 IS IT THE PUSHY MAN? 59 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:37,090 *** 60 00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:42,930 BOOM. 61 00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:49,703 (makes popping noise) 62 00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:04,685 OKAY, DENNY, 63 00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:07,187 I WANT YOU TO COUNT BACKWARDS BY SEVENS FROM A HUNDRED. 64 00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:08,889 Why? 65 00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:10,224 It's just a test. 66 00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:11,659 (scoffs) 67 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,160 100. 68 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,662 93. 69 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,064 Uh, 86. 70 00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,066 81. 71 00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:20,501 75. 72 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,703 4--4, I meant to say. 73 00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:25,373 4. UH, 1984, 74 00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:26,740 like the Orwell-- 75 00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:28,342 74. 76 00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:30,010 WHO THE HELL WROTE THAT? 77 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,746 No, no, you were down to 74 not 84. 78 00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:34,682 W-WHATEVER. 79 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,049 Continue, please. 80 00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:37,685 74. 81 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,119 67. 82 00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:41,555 HELL OF A YEAR--'67. THE SOX WON THE PENNANT. 83 00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:44,124 Jimmy Lonborg pitched a 2-hitter second game, 84 00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:47,795 and Yaz plunked two out. Hell of a game. 85 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:50,130 WHO PITCHED THE FIRST GAME OF THAT WORLD SERIES? 86 00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:53,301 Jose Santiago against, uh, Bob Gibson. 87 00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:55,603 Gibson pitched, uh, three times, won the series. 88 00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:58,739 WHO'S THE BEST PITCHER FOR THE SOX THIS YEAR? 89 00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:01,875 UM... 90 00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:03,977 Uh, uh... 91 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:07,615 Don't tell me. Uh... uh... Josh Pecker. 92 00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:10,651 Hell of a pitcher, Pecker. (laughs) 93 00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:12,753 Who's the best hitter? 94 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:16,790 UH, THAT'S, UH, THAT BLACK GUY-- UH, THE, UM-- 95 00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:18,659 ORTIZ. DAVID ORTIZ. 96 00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:21,829 He's half Black, half Mexican, half Dominican. 97 00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,997 Who's the president of the United States? 98 00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:26,434 BARACK OBAMA. 99 00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:30,738 He's half Hawaiian, half Kenyan half Black and half, 100 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,740 UH, HALLE BERRY. 101 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,442 (man) IT HAS PROGRESSED. 102 00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:36,444 LAST YEAR, WE WERE AT STAGE 3, 103 00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:38,912 WHICH IS BASICALLY MILD COGNITIVE DECLINE. 104 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:42,350 NOW IT'S MORE LIKE STAGE 4, WHICH IS MODERATE. 105 00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:44,785 TALK TO ME LIKE I'M IN THE ROOM, WOULD YOU? 106 00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:46,286 I AM. 107 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,288 YOU REMEMBER YESTERDAY VERY WELL, 108 00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:51,925 BUT FORMING NEW MEMORIES IS OBVIOUSLY MORE DIFFICULT. 109 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,462 CUT TO THE PUNCH LINE. 110 00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:57,030 YOU'RE IN THE EARLY STAGES OF ALZHEIMER'S. 111 00:04:57,064 --> 00:05:00,601 WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT PRECURSOR'S ANYMORE. 112 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,203 IT'S HERE. 113 00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:10,544 *** 114 00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:26,627 *** 115 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,128 ACADEMIC DOPING? 116 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,197 YEAH. YOU FIND A FRIEND WITH A PRESCRIPTION 117 00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:33,333 FOR RITALIN OR ADDERALL, AND YOU POP SOME PILLS 118 00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:36,704 TO HELP STUDY AND STAY FOCUSED THE DAY OF THE S.A.T. 119 00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,672 AND YOU DID THIS? YEAH. IT'S NOT ILLEGAL. 120 00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:41,208 AND HOW'D YOU DO ON THE S.A.T.? 121 00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:42,876 I GOT A PERFECT SCORE. 122 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,745 AND I WAS ACCEPTED TO HARVARD... 123 00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:46,747 (chuckles) WHICH IS FAIRLY NEWSWORTHY 124 00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:49,750 GIVEN I WENT TO YOUR AVERAGE SMALL-TOWN PUBLIC SCHOOL. 125 00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:52,586 I DID AN INTERVIEW WITH THE LOCAL PAPER... 126 00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:54,588 WHERE I WAS QUOTED AS SAYING 127 00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:57,858 RITALIN WAS A GODSEND WHEN IT CAME TO TEST TAKING. 128 00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,893 AND THAT SPARKED A WHOLE DEBATE IN THE COMMENTS SECTION-- 129 00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:02,029 IS IT ETHICAL, IS IT NOT-- 130 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:04,832 AND THE BOSTON PAPERS PICKED IT UP, 131 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,700 AND SUDDENLY I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS CONTROVERSY 132 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,702 THAT HARVARD WANTS NO PART OF, 133 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,571 SO THEY RESCIND MY OFFER OF ADMISSION. (purrs and makes popping sound) 134 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,840 WELL, I BELIEVE TAKING A CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE 135 00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,576 WITHOUT A PRESCRIPTION ACTUALLY IS ILLEGAL. 136 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:16,844 NO, IT'S A STUDY AID, 137 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:19,747 JUST ONE STEP ABOVE POTENT COFFEE. 138 00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:22,683 SO WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE US TO DO? 139 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,585 GET ME REINSTATED AT HARVARD. 140 00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:27,421 I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO DESERVE THIS. 141 00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:29,457 I MEAN, THEY'RE SINGLING ME OUT, 142 00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:32,760 AND NOW NO SCHOOL WILL TAKE ME. WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS WITH ALL THIS? 143 00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:34,928 BEYOND DEVASTATED. 144 00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:38,131 IT WAS THEIR DREAM TO SEE THEIR LITTLE GIRL GO TO HARVARD. 145 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,572 I HAVE TO FIX THIS. 146 00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:47,875 I SCREWED IT UP... 147 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,644 AND I HAVE TO FIX THIS. 148 00:06:50,678 --> 00:06:53,847 *** 149 00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:59,653 WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT MY DESK? 150 00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:02,490 OH. OH. I-I WAS JUST STRAIGHTENING UP. 151 00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:04,291 THAT'S WHAT ASSISTANTS DO. 152 00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:05,926 YOU'RE NOT MY ASSISTANT. 153 00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:07,595 YES, I AM, DEAR. 154 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:10,731 NO, I HAVE AN AS-- WHERE IS SHE? 155 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,466 OH, FRANCINE? MM. 156 00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,902 I FIRED HER. YOU-- 157 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,971 TOO PRETTY, TOO YOUNG-- SHE'S A DISTRACTION. ALL RIGHT, I'M CALLING SECURITY. 158 00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:20,240 LOOK, HONEY, YOU SURE YOU WANT TO MAKE TROUBLE 159 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,409 FOR SHIRLEY'S SISTER? 160 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,578 I MEAN, AFTER ALL-- YOUR NAME IS CATHERINE PIPER. 161 00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:26,980 YOU WERE FIRED FOR, AMONG OTHER THINGS, BEING PSYCHOTIC. 162 00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:29,650 I ALSO HAVE CANCER, DEAR. 163 00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:35,188 THERE. IT'S OUT. 164 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:38,492 I AM DESPERATE FOR A DISTRACTION, 165 00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:41,762 ANYTHING TO OCCUPY MYSELF WHILE... 166 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,865 I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T COME HERE TO INDULGE... 167 00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:47,267 YOU HAVE CANCER? 168 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,703 NOT REALLY, BUT I COULD GET SOME IF YOU'D LIKE. 169 00:07:49,737 --> 00:07:51,705 OH, 9-1-1. 170 00:07:51,739 --> 00:07:54,341 LOOK, IF I COULD JUST WORK HERE ON A TEMPORARY-- 171 00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:57,010 ("Theme to 'The Practice'" ringtone plays) OH, SORRY. 172 00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:58,512 (beep) 173 00:07:58,546 --> 00:08:01,181 9-1-1. 174 00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:03,483 WHAT'S THE EMERGENCY? 175 00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:05,352 HOW DID... 176 00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:07,287 (slams down receiver) 177 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,824 *** 178 00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,528 I'M AFRAID THEY SAID NO. 179 00:08:14,562 --> 00:08:16,730 BUT... 180 00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:18,732 DID YOU POINT OUT 181 00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:21,134 I DIDN'T ACTUALLY VIOLATE ANY POLICY OR-- 182 00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,537 THEY'RE CITING HONESTY, MORAL CHARACTER. 183 00:08:23,571 --> 00:08:25,873 UH, EVERYBODY'S DOING IT. 184 00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:28,709 I REALIZE THAT, BUT-- BUT YOU WENT PUBLIC, MARGIE. 185 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:31,078 WE CAN TAKE IT TO COURT, 186 00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,881 BUT I WOULDN'T EXPECT TO BE SUCCESSFUL. 187 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:36,016 OH, WE--WE HAVE TO TRY. 188 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:38,819 I HAVE GEARED MY WHOLE LIFE TOWARD GOING TO HARVARD. 189 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,688 I JUST... (sighs) 190 00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:42,690 I NEED TO TRY. 191 00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:45,726 PLEASE. 192 00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:49,563 I DON'T KNOW, JERRY. 193 00:08:49,597 --> 00:08:52,399 YOU SAY SHE DIDN'T HAVE A PRESCRIPTION. ALL THE KIDS ARE DOING THIS, ALAN-- 194 00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,735 GETTING IT WITHOUT PRESCRIPTIONS. WELL, THAT'S NOT MUCH OF AN ARGUMENT. 195 00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:57,738 AH. YOU COULD ARGUE THAT RESCINDING HER ADMISSION IS ARBITRARY 196 00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:00,373 SINCE THEY HAVE NO OFFICIAL POLICY. 197 00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:03,577 OH, ALAN. UM, HEY, JERRY. 198 00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:05,713 ALAN, THERE'S A DRUG-- 199 00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:08,548 IT'S CALLED, UH, DIMEBOLIN, SOMETHING LIKE THAT-- 200 00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:11,451 AND I WANT IT. MY DOCTOR WON'T GIVE IT TO ME. 201 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,587 IT'S FROM RUSSIA. IT STEMS OFF ALZHEIMER'S. 202 00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:15,889 DENNY, SLOW DOWN. I CAN'T AT THE MOMENT. 203 00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:17,958 I'VE TAKEN A LITTLE TOO MUCH ADDERALL. ADDERALL? 204 00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:20,060 SEE? THAT'S WHAT MARGIE TAKES, THAT AND RITALIN. 205 00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:21,895 RITALIN. I LOVE RITALIN. 206 00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:24,865 DENNY, WHAT DID WE AGREE ON REGARDING YOUR MEDICINES? 207 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:27,601 I WOULD BE IN CHARGE. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, BUT I'M THE ONE WITH THE ALZHEIMER'S. 208 00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:30,938 I'LL TAKE WHAT I WANT, AND RIGHT NOW, I WANT DIMEBOLIN. 209 00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:33,506 AND YOU'VE GOTTA HELP ME GET IT. 210 00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:45,452 YOU OKAY, JERRY? 211 00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:48,221 ACADEMIC DOPING... 212 00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:50,090 IT HAS SUCH A STIGMA TO IT. 213 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:53,560 WHAT ABOUT EMOTIONAL DOPING? 214 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,162 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 215 00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,766 THAT'S WHAT I DO-- EMOTIONAL DOPING. 216 00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:02,069 I TAKE MY LITTLE HELPERS TO... 217 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:05,272 DO YOU THINK IT REFLECTS POORLY 218 00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,474 ON MY MORAL CHARACTER? NO. 219 00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:09,643 WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? 220 00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:11,945 WELL, YOUR MEDICATION IS PRESCRIBED FOR ONE THING. 221 00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:14,014 MOSTLY. 222 00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:16,650 AND SECOND, YOU HAVE A SPECIFIC, DIAGNOSED CONDITION, JERRY-- 223 00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:18,251 ASPERGER'S SYNDROME. 224 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:20,921 THREE YEARS AGO, YOU COULDN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT. 225 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,923 I TAKE PILLS THAT AFFECT MY BRAIN 226 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,458 TO HELP ME PERFORM BETTER. 227 00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:27,360 JERRY, I'M THE FIRST ONE TO SAY 228 00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:28,628 WE HAVE AN OVERMEDICATED SOCIETY. 229 00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:30,630 WE'VE GOT 3 YEAR OLDS ON ANTIPSYCHOTICS. 230 00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:33,266 PEOPLE WHO DON'T EVEN HAVE HIGH CHOLESTEROL TAKE STATINS. 231 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,703 PEOPLE TAKE SLEEP AIDS WHEN MAYBE THEY SHOULD JUST 232 00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:37,637 READ A BOOK OR MASTURBATE. 233 00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:39,539 I-IT'S OUT OF CONTROL. 234 00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:42,442 BUT THAT'S NOT TO SAY THAT MANY DRUGS DON'T DO A LOT OF GOOD. 235 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,712 THEY SAVE LIVES. 236 00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:47,514 PEOPLE NEED DRUGS LIKE INSULIN OR BLOOD PRESSURE MEDICINE 237 00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:49,516 TO SIMPLY MAINTAIN THEIR HEALTH. 238 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:53,954 AND DRUGS HELP SOME PEOPLE TO LIVE NORMAL, PRODUCTIVE LIVES 239 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,389 WHO MIGHT OTHERWISE NOT. 240 00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:59,392 YOU FALL INTO THAT CATEGORY. 241 00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:02,495 POPPING PILLS TO... (scoffs) GET BETTER S.A.T. SCORES-- 242 00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:06,867 THAT'S... SOMETHING DIFFERENT. 243 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:10,738 *** 244 00:11:15,943 --> 00:11:17,310 (elevator bell dings) 245 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:20,447 *** 246 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:44,371 YOU ARE NOT WORKING HERE, CATHERINE. 247 00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,073 THAT MUCH HAS BEEN DECIDED. 248 00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:48,942 WELL, THEN WHAT ARE WE DOING IN YOUR OFFICE, 249 00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:50,343 BEHIND CLOSED DOORS... 250 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:53,080 WHERE YOU COULD SEXUALLY RAVAGE ME 251 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:56,049 WITH NO WITNESSES TO SAY IT DIDN'T HAPPEN? 252 00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:59,953 WE'RE HERE BECAUSE I'M TOLD YOU'RE A FRIEND OF ALAN'S. 253 00:11:59,987 --> 00:12:02,756 AND AS A COURTESY TO HIM AND YOU, 254 00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:04,724 I THOUGHT I WOULD AT LEAST GIVE YOU 255 00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:08,361 AN OPPORTUNITY TO EXPLAIN WHY YOU'RE DOING THIS. 256 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,731 I'M DOING IT BECAUSE I'M OLD 257 00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:13,867 AND I'M BORED. 258 00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:17,104 ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD. 259 00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,139 IT'S NOT LIKE I COULD GO SKIING 260 00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,942 OR--OR MOUNTAIN CLIMBING OR... 261 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:27,647 HONESTLY, A-ASSUMING I WERE QUALIFIED TO BE YOUR ASSISTANT, 262 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:31,251 UH, WOULD YOU EMPLOY SOMEBODY MY AGE? 263 00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:32,786 PROBABLY NOT. 264 00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:36,656 I DIDN'T THINK SO. 265 00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:39,326 I GOT THAT ON TAPE, DEAR. 266 00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:42,662 NOW I CAN SUE YOU FOR AGE DISCRIMINATION. 267 00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:45,833 BEST YOU KEEP ME ON, AVOID THE CONTROVERSY. 268 00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:47,868 GET OUT, CATHERINE. 269 00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:59,146 *** 270 00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:01,348 I DIDN'T CHEAT. I TOOK MEDICINE 271 00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:03,984 TO HELP MY BRAIN FUNCTION AT ITS HIGHEST LEVEL. 272 00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,619 YOU DIDN'T HAVE A PRESCRIPTION FOR THE MEDICATION. 273 00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:09,990 A DOZEN FACULTY MEMBERS AT CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY 274 00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:11,992 ADMIT TO TAKING UNPRESCRIBED ADDERALL 275 00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:14,327 TO IMPROVE THEIR OWN ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE, 276 00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:16,663 BUT NOBODY'S EXPELLING THEM. 277 00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:19,799 THEY'RE CLAIMING IT SHOWS POOR MORAL CHARACTER. AND I REJECT THAT. 278 00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:21,034 HELICOPTER PILOTS 279 00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:23,636 TAKE PRESCRIPTION STIMULANTS TO STAY ALERT. 280 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:24,838 MEDICAL INTERNS 281 00:13:24,872 --> 00:13:28,508 TAKE DRUGS FOR NARCOLEPSY SO THAT THEY CAN WORK ALL NIGHT. 282 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:31,644 SHOULD WE INDICT ALL OF THEM AS WELL? 283 00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:33,646 ALL THEY'VE DONE IS USE A PHARMACOLOGICAL TOOL 284 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,483 SO THAT THEY COULD DO THEIR WORK MORE EFFECTIVELY. CERTAINLY YOU'RE AWARE 285 00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:38,718 THAT HARVARD HAS EXTREMELY HIGH STANDARDS. OF COURSE. 286 00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:41,221 JOHN F. KENNEDY WAS A GRADUATE. AS WAS THE UNABOMBER. 287 00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:43,323 F.D.R. HITLER'S FOREIGN PRESS SECRETARY. 288 00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:46,193 NUMEROUS LITERARY FIGURES-- EMERSON, THOREAU-- 289 00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:47,961 AND THE CARDINAL ARCHBISHOP 290 00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:50,130 WHO SHIELDED CHILD MOLESTERS FROM PROSECUTION. 291 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,531 FOR FACULTY, 292 00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:54,501 YOU HAD TIMOTHY LEARY AND HIS L.S.D. EXPERIMENTS-- 293 00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:57,637 MS. COGGINS, DO YOU WANT TO GO TO HARVARD OR NOT? 294 00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,507 (sighs) YEAH, I DO... 295 00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:02,375 DESPERATELY. 296 00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:05,845 MY POINT IS... HARVARD'S NOT PERFECT, 297 00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:07,747 BUT NEITHER AM I. 298 00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:11,684 BUT AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY, I ENDEAVOR TO BE 299 00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:14,521 THE BEST POSSIBLE VERSION OF MYSELF. 300 00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:17,057 AND THAT'S ALL I WAS DOING BY TAKING RITALIN. 301 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:21,361 *** 302 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:28,101 THE EARLY TRIALS HAVE BEEN ENCOURAGING. 303 00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:30,503 IT'S IN THE STAGE 3 TRIALS NOW. I WANT IT. 304 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:33,273 WELL, YOU CAN'T HAVE IT. WHY NOT? 305 00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:35,408 BECAUSE IT'S NOT F.D.A. APPROVED. 306 00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,544 THIS DRUG IS A LONG WAY-- I DON'T CARE. 307 00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,779 MR. CRANE, I'M NOT ALLOWED TO PRESCRIBE THIS MEDICATION. 308 00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:42,782 AND EVEN IF I WERE AND DID, YOU STILL COULDN'T GET IT 309 00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:45,852 SINCE IT HASN'T BEEN-- HOW LONG BEFORE IT'S AVAILABLE TO THE PUBLIC? 310 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,355 MY GUESS IS AT LEAST TWO YEARS, PROBABLY THREE. 311 00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,857 THE F.D.A. HASN'T EVEN ANALYZED THE DATA OF THE TRIALS-- 312 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,560 I-I'LL--I'LL BE DEAD IN THREE YEARS. WHERE'S THE DRUG? WHO'S GOT IT? 313 00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:55,428 WELL, PFIZER JUST BOUGHT THE RIGHTS, 314 00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:58,565 BUT NOBODY CAN JUST SAY, "OKAY, I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU." 315 00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:00,567 IT WOULD BE ILLEGAL TO DO SO 316 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,602 UNLESS YOU GET YOURSELF ENROLLED IN A CLINICAL TRIAL, 317 00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:05,638 BUT I THINK IT'S FULLY BOOKED. 318 00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:07,574 *** 319 00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:09,209 LET'S BE FAIR. 320 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:11,578 IT'S NOT JUST THE S.A.T. THAT GETS A PERSON ADMITTED. 321 00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:13,246 OF COURSE NOT. 322 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:16,249 MARGIE, IN FACT, IS ALSO A NATIONAL MERIT FINALIST, 323 00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:18,818 CAPTAIN OF HER SWIM TEAM, CLASS VALEDICTORIAN. 324 00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:20,387 WE GET APPLICATIONS 325 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,389 FROM THOUSANDS OF NATIONAL MERIT FINALISTS, 326 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:25,092 THOUSANDS OF CAPTAINS AND THOUSANDS OF VALEDICTORIANS. 327 00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,560 BUT THIS ONE, YOU OFFERED ADMISSION. 328 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:30,897 YES, UNTIL SHE ADMITTED SHE HAD USED BRAIN ENHANCEMENT DRUGS. 329 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,000 AS DO THOUSANDS OF OTHER STUDENTS. 330 00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:35,635 DO YOU HAVE A WAY TO WEED ALL OF THEM 331 00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:37,937 OUT OF YOUR APPLICANT POOL? NO. 332 00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:40,273 AND THERE'S ACTUALLY NO POLICY AT HARVARD 333 00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:42,909 EXPLICITLY FORBIDDING WHAT YOU TERM "ACADEMIC DOPING," 334 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,178 IS THERE? I THINK IN FUTURE-- 335 00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:47,647 SO YOU INTEND TO ENFORCE FUTURE RULES AGAINST HER. 336 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,249 DO YOU THINK THAT'S FAIR? 337 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,584 WE CONSIDER HER ACTIONS TO BE IMMORAL, 338 00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:52,952 AND WE RESERVE OUR RIGHT 339 00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:55,488 TO MAKE OUR ADMISSIONS DECISIONS ACCORDINGLY. 340 00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,696 I'VE DECIDED NOT TO SUE YOU. 341 00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:05,632 HOW SWEET. 342 00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:07,467 LISTEN, TH-THAT PART 343 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,669 ABOUT ME BEING DESPERATE FOR A DISTRACTION, 344 00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:11,104 THAT WAS TRUE. 345 00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:13,540 IT ISN'T FAIR, CARL. 346 00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:15,508 I HAVE MY HEALTH 347 00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:17,977 A-AND MY MIND IS AS SHARP AS--AS... 348 00:16:18,011 --> 00:16:19,512 (stammers) 349 00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:22,015 WELL, YOU PEOPLE COME UP WITH ALL THIS MEDICINE 350 00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:24,351 TO--TO--TO KEEP US ALIVE, 351 00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,486 EVEN THRIVE, 352 00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,888 AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH US. 353 00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:31,891 I WAS THINKING... IF I WERE TO COME UP 354 00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:34,494 WITH SOMETHING I COULD SUE FOR, 355 00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:35,728 SOMETHING LEGITIMATE, 356 00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:37,964 AND IT COULD MAKE THE FIRM MONEY-- 357 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:41,068 UH... I SUPPOSE 358 00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:44,671 IF YOU HAD A LEGITIMATE CAUSE OF ACTION, 359 00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:47,374 THEN WE WOULD-- 360 00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,476 DRUGS. 361 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,711 UH, OKAY, THEY MAKE THEM TOO EXPENSIVE, 362 00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:53,980 WHILE IN CANADA, YOU CAN-- NO. 363 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,482 INFLATION. 364 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:58,017 UH, OUR SOCIAL SECURITY PAYMENTS 365 00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:00,087 DON'T KEEP PACE-- NO. 366 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:05,692 OH. LOOK, SOME JOBS STILL HAVE A MANDATORY RETIREMENT AGE. 367 00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:07,327 NO. 368 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:10,663 (sighs) THESE ARE ALL LEGITIMATE. 369 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:13,200 CATHERINE, YOU HAVE TO HAVE STANDING. 370 00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:16,069 IT HAS TO DIRECTLY IMPACT YOU, 371 00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:18,838 HARM YOU. 372 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,341 LOOK HOW INSENSITIVE YOU'RE BEING. 373 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,443 TH-THIS IS EXACTLY THE PROBLEM. 374 00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:26,246 WE'RE JUST SHOVED ASIDE AS A NUISANCE. 375 00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:29,249 I CAN'T EVEN WATCH TELEVISION SHOWS, FOR GOD SAKE, 376 00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:32,519 BECAUSE THE NETWORKS CONSIDER ME IRRELEVANT. 377 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:35,522 YOU'D THINK THEY DON'T PROGRAM FOR ANYBODY OVER 50. 378 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,590 IS IT ANY WONDER 379 00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:40,127 I'M OUT KNOCKING OVER CONVENIENCE STORES? 380 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:43,596 YOU ACTUALLY MAY HAVE SOMETHING THERE. 381 00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:45,565 THE NETWORKS-- 382 00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:49,536 THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO SERVE THE PUBLIC. 383 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:52,905 OKAY, CATHERINE... 384 00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:54,774 WE'LL TAKE THAT CASE. 385 00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:56,709 REALLY? 386 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:59,246 I'M OVER 50 MYSELF... 387 00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:02,615 AND I WANT SOMETHING TO WATCH. 388 00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:05,452 *** 389 00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,428 HOW WE DOING? 390 00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:17,497 FINE. 391 00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:20,500 AHH. 392 00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:23,102 I GOT A HEARING BEFORE JUDGE PEYTON TOMORROW. 393 00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:25,638 WE'LL TAKE OUR BEST SHOT. 394 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:31,110 SHIRLEY'S AT THE FAT FARM. YOU HEAR? 395 00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:32,845 WHY? SHE'S NOT FAT. 396 00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:34,614 YOU KNOW BRIDES. 397 00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:37,984 THEY LIKE TO GET ALL SKINNY BEFORE THE WEDDING. 398 00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:42,822 IT'S ALL ABOUT HOW THEY LOOK IN THEIR DRESS. 399 00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:45,692 AH. 400 00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:52,299 YOU KNOW THE BEST PART OF HAVING, UH... MAD COW? 401 00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:55,001 SOMETIMES... 402 00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:58,605 NOT OFTEN... 403 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:01,674 I THINK WE'RE STILL TOGETHER. 404 00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:08,415 AS DELUSIONS GO, IT'S ONE OF THE BETTER ONES. 405 00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:21,428 YOU GONNA BE OKAY, DENNY, ATTENDING HER WEDDING? 406 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:25,665 YEAH. WELL... 407 00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:28,401 WHAT I'M NOT OKAY WITH IS... 408 00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:30,403 SITTING ON MY ASS WHILE MY BRAIN ROTS. 409 00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:34,341 I HAVE A BIG PROBLEM WITH THAT, THOUGH. 410 00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:37,444 WE GO BEFORE JUDGE PEYTON IN THE MORNING. 411 00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:42,382 YEAH, YOU TOLD ME. 412 00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:45,552 *** 413 00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:56,095 YOU GONNA STAY HERE ALL NIGHT, JERRY? IT'S NOT EVEN CLEAR 414 00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:59,599 THOSE DRUGS GAVE HER ALL THAT MUCH OF AN ADVANTAGE. 415 00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:02,369 SHE SCORED 99th PERCENTILE ON THE PRACTICE TEST, 416 00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:04,904 WHICH SHE TOOK WITHOUT THE DRUGS. JERRY, SHE CHEATED. LET'S NOT KID OURSELVES. 417 00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:06,906 MOST KIDS GET A BIGGER ADVANTAGE 418 00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,908 BY TAKING THE S.A.T. PREP PROGRAM. 419 00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:11,778 THEY ACTUALLY CAN BOOST SCORES BY 150 POINTS. THOSE PROGRAMS ARE LEGITIMATE. 420 00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:14,781 AND NOT AFFORDABLE TO KIDS LIKE MARGIE. LET'S FACE IT, KATIE. 421 00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:17,684 THE RICH HAVE SUCH A LEG UP IN THIS COLLEGE RACKET. 422 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,786 ACCORDING TO ONE CHANCELLOR, IN IVY LEAGUE SCHOOLS, 423 00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:23,523 POOR APPLICANTS REALLY ONLY GET A SHOT AT 40% OF THE SLOTS. 424 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,625 THE REST ARE RESERVED FOR FAMILIES OF PRIVILEGE. 425 00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:28,461 BUT, JERRY, YOU CANNOT BE A FAN OF ACADEMIC DOPING. 426 00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:30,897 I'M JUST SAYING... 427 00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:33,300 LIFE ISN'T AN EVEN PLAYING FIELD, 428 00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:36,869 AND FOR THOSE WHO ARE... 429 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,871 WEAKER THAN... 430 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,773 MEANING YOU? 431 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:45,812 JERRY, YOU'RE NOT WEAKER THAN. YOU HAVE ASPERGER'S. 432 00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:48,748 YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW AFRAID I AM 433 00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:50,983 TO LEAVE MY APARTMENT. 434 00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:52,385 EVERY DAY... 435 00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:55,322 EVERY MORNING, 436 00:20:55,355 --> 00:20:59,559 I ACTUALLY WONDER, WILL I GET OUT THE DOOR OR NOT? 437 00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:02,495 IT SEEMS YOU WIN THAT BATTLE EVERY DAY. 438 00:21:02,529 --> 00:21:05,598 YEAH... ON DRUGS. 439 00:21:05,632 --> 00:21:09,602 *** 440 00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:16,443 YOU CAN'T SUE THE NETWORKS. 441 00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:19,512 THE AIRWAVES, JUDGE, ARE A PUBLIC TRUST, AT LEAST AS FAR 442 00:21:19,546 --> 00:21:22,482 AS THE BROADCAST NETWORKS ARE CONCERNED. 443 00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:24,651 THAT'S WHY THEY'RE REGULATED. IT'S STILL A BUSINESS. 444 00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:26,586 I MEAN, BUNGEE JUMPING MIGHT BE REGULATED. 445 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,688 ARE YOU SAYING THAT THOSE OUTFITS 446 00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:31,791 WOULD HAVE A DUTY TO SERVICE THE ELDERLY? NO, THAT WOULD BE UNREASONABLE. 447 00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:35,161 BUT TO REQUIRE A BROADCASTER TO PROGRAM FOR EVERYBODY ISN'T. MR. SUCK. 448 00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:36,295 SACK. 449 00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:38,531 YOUR HONOR, THERE MAY HAVE BEEN A TIME 450 00:21:38,565 --> 00:21:40,433 WHEN IT MADE PRACTICAL BUSINESS SENSE TO EXCLUDE THE OLD, 451 00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:42,635 BUT NOT TODAY. 452 00:21:42,669 --> 00:21:46,305 AMERICANS OVER 50 MAKE UP THE FASTEST GROWING MARKET. IT'S ABOUT MONEY, NOT HOW MANY-- 453 00:21:46,339 --> 00:21:48,808 REALLY? GEE. I WOULD'VE NEVER GUESSED THAT. 454 00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:50,943 THE BABY BOOMERS, NOW ALL OVER 50, 455 00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:53,346 EARN $2 TRILLION IN ANNUAL INCOME. 456 00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:56,849 THAT'S TRILLION. MADISON AVENUE IS AFTER THE DISCRETIONARY SPENDER. 457 00:21:56,883 --> 00:22:00,286 YES, AND PEOPLE OVER 50 ACCOUNT FOR HALF OF THAT, TOO. 458 00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:02,722 CHOOSE YOUR STATISTIC. GO AHEAD. I'VE GOT YOU. 459 00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:05,858 WE'VE GOT MORE MONEY. WE SPEND MORE MONEY. 460 00:22:05,892 --> 00:22:08,995 WE WATCH MORE TELEVISION, GO TO MORE MOVIES. 461 00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:11,230 WE BUY MORE CDs THAN YOUNG PEOPLE DO, 462 00:22:11,263 --> 00:22:14,667 AND YET WE'RE THE FOCUS OF LESS THAN 10% OF THE ADVERTISING. 463 00:22:14,701 --> 00:22:17,404 ALL THE NETWORKS WANT TO DO IS SKEW YOUNGER. 464 00:22:17,437 --> 00:22:19,672 KID SHOWS FOR KIDS. 465 00:22:19,706 --> 00:22:21,173 YOU KNOW, THE ONLY SHOW 466 00:22:21,207 --> 00:22:23,976 UNAFRAID TO HAVE ITS STARS OVER 50 IS "B"-- 467 00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:26,979 GEE, I CAN'T SAY IT. IT WOULD, UM, BREAK THE WALL. 468 00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:29,749 OH, MR. SUCK. IT'S STILL SACK. 469 00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:32,051 I CAN'T TELL THE NETWORKS WHAT SHOWS TO MAKE. 470 00:22:32,084 --> 00:22:34,654 NO, BUT YOU CAN ORDER THEM NOT TO DISCRIMINATE. 471 00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:37,990 WHAT THEY'RE DOING INTENTIONALLY EXCLUDES A CLASS OF SOCIETY. 472 00:22:38,024 --> 00:22:40,159 THAT'S BIGOTRY. 473 00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:43,229 YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO TURN ON OUR DAMN TELEVISIONS 474 00:22:43,262 --> 00:22:44,330 AND SEE SOMETHING 475 00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:47,366 OTHER THAN REALITY SHOWS AIMED AT FOURTH GRADERS, 476 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,068 GAMES SHOWS AIMED AT THOSE 477 00:22:49,101 --> 00:22:51,170 SLIGHTLY SMARTER THAN FIFTH GRADERS 478 00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:53,339 AND SCRIPTED SHOWS 479 00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:55,842 WITH DIM-WITTED, SEX-CRAZED 20-SOMETHINGS 480 00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:57,844 RUNNING AROUND IN SUITS OR DOCTOR SCRUBS. 481 00:22:57,877 --> 00:23:00,713 OLD PEOPLE, THE ONES WITH INTELLIGENCE, 482 00:23:00,747 --> 00:23:02,582 DON'T WANT TO WATCH THAT CRAP. WE'RE FED UP! 483 00:23:02,615 --> 00:23:06,185 YOU KNOW, THE NETWORKS MIGHT THINK WE'RE DEAD, BUT WE'RE NOT. 484 00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:09,456 WE'RE VERY MUCH ALIVE WITH WORKING BRAINS. 485 00:23:09,489 --> 00:23:12,358 GIVE US SOMETHING TO WATCH, DAMN IT! 486 00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:15,728 *** 487 00:23:19,599 --> 00:23:21,167 YOU READY, DENNY? 488 00:23:26,506 --> 00:23:28,274 DENNY? 489 00:23:35,515 --> 00:23:37,550 WHAT'S WRONG? 490 00:23:37,584 --> 00:23:39,819 I MUST HAVE NODDED OFF. 491 00:23:39,852 --> 00:23:42,822 I WAS... 492 00:23:42,855 --> 00:23:45,424 DREAMING ABOUT SHIRLEY. 493 00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:48,928 WE WERE ON A BENCH. 494 00:23:48,961 --> 00:23:52,031 SHE ASKED ME TO MARRY HER. 495 00:23:54,300 --> 00:23:56,636 WHAT A DREAM. 496 00:24:00,339 --> 00:24:03,275 WERE MY EYES CLOSED WHEN YOU CAME IN? 497 00:24:04,711 --> 00:24:06,613 YEAH. 498 00:24:08,681 --> 00:24:10,583 YOU MUST HAVE NODDED OFF. 499 00:24:10,617 --> 00:24:13,452 YOU READY? 500 00:24:13,486 --> 00:24:15,321 WE'RE DUE IN COURT. 501 00:24:17,724 --> 00:24:21,327 *** 502 00:24:31,337 --> 00:24:33,439 MR. SHORE, THE SUPREME COURT 503 00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:35,441 ALREADY RULED ON THIS VERY ISSUE. 504 00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:36,643 NO, THEY DIDN'T, JUDGE. 505 00:24:36,676 --> 00:24:39,278 THE SUPREME COURT, IN FACT, REFUSED TO RULE ON IT. 506 00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:41,380 THEY COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO EVEN HEAR THE CASE. 507 00:24:41,413 --> 00:24:43,282 I'M SURE IF ONE OF THEIR FRIENDS WERE DYING, 508 00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:45,718 WE WOULD'VE HAD A DIFFERENT RESULT. OH, COME ON. 509 00:24:45,752 --> 00:24:49,121 WHY CAN'T MR. CRANE TAKE THE DRUG AND SIMPLY ASSUME 510 00:24:49,155 --> 00:24:51,223 ALL THE INHERENT RISKS IF HE SO CHOOSES? 511 00:24:51,257 --> 00:24:53,225 BECAUSE WE DON'T LET PEOPLE TAKE DRUGS 512 00:24:53,259 --> 00:24:55,895 WHILE THEY'RE STILL IN THE INVESTIGATIVE STAGE, 513 00:24:55,928 --> 00:24:57,296 AND WITH GOOD REASON. 514 00:24:57,329 --> 00:25:00,399 THINK OF THE POTENTIAL FOR ABUSE. POTENTIAL FOR ABUSE? 515 00:25:00,432 --> 00:25:02,401 WHAT'S THE DOWNSIDE? HE COULD DIE? 516 00:25:02,434 --> 00:25:06,205 HE'S DOING THAT ANYWAY. NO, HE ISN'T. HE COULD LIVE A LONG TIME WITH ALZHEIMER'S. 517 00:25:06,238 --> 00:25:09,508 WHICH COULD BE WORSE. AND IT'S POSSIBLE THE DISEASE COULD TAKE YEARS TO PROGRESS. 518 00:25:09,542 --> 00:25:12,478 HE COULD HAVE MANY HEALTHY YEARS WHILE WE-- 519 00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:14,480 THERE ARE ALL KINDS OF POSSIBILITIES AND CHOICES. 520 00:25:14,513 --> 00:25:16,683 WHY CAN'T THEY BELONG TO THE PATIENT? 521 00:25:16,716 --> 00:25:18,384 THERE IS STILL SO MUCH 522 00:25:18,417 --> 00:25:20,553 THAT IS STILL SO UNKNOWN ABOUT DIMEBOLIN THAT-- 523 00:25:20,587 --> 00:25:23,155 YES, AND WE'LL ASSUME ALL OF THE RISKS. DO I EVER GET TO SPEAK? 524 00:25:23,189 --> 00:25:25,324 I'D PREFER YOU DIDN'T. WE'RE WASTING PRECIOUS TIME. 525 00:25:25,357 --> 00:25:27,326 MR. SHORE, I AM A SUPERIOR COURT JUDGE. 526 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,597 I HAVE TO TAKE MY CUES FROM THE APPELLATE COURT. 527 00:25:30,630 --> 00:25:32,599 ON THIS ISSUE, THE LAW IS CLEAR. 528 00:25:32,632 --> 00:25:35,902 A PATIENT, EVEN A DYING PATIENT, 529 00:25:35,935 --> 00:25:40,272 HAS NO CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO EXPERIMENTAL TREATMENT. (scoffs) 530 00:25:40,306 --> 00:25:43,042 NOW DO I AGREE WITH THAT PRECEDENT? NO, NOT REALLY. 531 00:25:43,075 --> 00:25:45,544 SO THIS IS WHAT I WILL DO-- I'LL CERTIFY IT 532 00:25:45,578 --> 00:25:48,547 TO THE MASSACHUSETTS SUPREME COURT. 533 00:25:48,581 --> 00:25:50,783 MAYBE THEY CAN FIND THE AUTHORITY 534 00:25:50,817 --> 00:25:52,785 TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT. 535 00:25:52,819 --> 00:25:55,121 WE ARE ADJOURNED. 536 00:25:57,624 --> 00:25:59,525 SO NOW WHAT? 537 00:25:59,558 --> 00:26:01,628 WE GO TO THE STATE SUPREME COURT. 538 00:26:01,661 --> 00:26:03,129 THERE'S NINE OF THEM. 539 00:26:03,162 --> 00:26:05,632 LET'S HOPE THAT AT LEAST ONE HAS A RELATIVE 540 00:26:05,665 --> 00:26:08,134 WHO HAS AN INCURABLE DISEASE. 541 00:26:08,167 --> 00:26:11,838 *** 542 00:26:17,610 --> 00:26:20,613 WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME A PRETTY LADY SAT NEXT TO YOU 543 00:26:20,647 --> 00:26:22,749 AND SUCKED ON YOUR EAR LOBE? 544 00:26:22,782 --> 00:26:25,618 AND DON'T COUNT THE NUMBER OF TIMES 545 00:26:25,652 --> 00:26:28,420 YOU HAD TO PAY FOR IT. 546 00:26:28,454 --> 00:26:29,989 HOW DARE YOU? 547 00:26:30,022 --> 00:26:31,490 I'M EATING MY LUNCH. 548 00:26:31,523 --> 00:26:35,494 OH, COME ON, SWEETHEART. THROW AN OLD LADY A BONE. 549 00:26:35,527 --> 00:26:37,463 YOU ARE.... 550 00:26:37,496 --> 00:26:39,498 A SHOCKING WOMAN! 551 00:26:39,531 --> 00:26:43,069 LOOK, JUDGE, I KNOW THIS IS--IS EX PARTE 552 00:26:43,102 --> 00:26:45,404 OR SOME--WHATEVER, UH, UH, 553 00:26:45,437 --> 00:26:49,441 SOME LATIN TERM THAT MEANS I CAN'T GUM YOUR BODY PARTS. 554 00:26:49,475 --> 00:26:53,846 BUT WHY DON'T YOU JUST GIVE ME SOMETHING GOOD TO WATCH ON TV? 555 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,448 I MEAN, THE AIRWAVES ARE A PUBLIC TRUST. AM I RIGHT? 556 00:26:56,482 --> 00:26:58,284 UH, CATHERINE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 557 00:26:58,317 --> 00:27:00,920 SHE'S TRYING TO SUCK ON MY EAR. 558 00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:02,655 THAT'S WHAT SHE'S DOING. 559 00:27:02,689 --> 00:27:05,758 OUTRAGEOUS! CATHERINE, GO INSIDE THE COURTHOUSE. 560 00:27:05,792 --> 00:27:08,728 I'LL MEET YOU THERE. NOW. 561 00:27:10,629 --> 00:27:11,998 EH... 562 00:27:14,566 --> 00:27:16,102 (scoffs) 563 00:27:16,135 --> 00:27:17,970 AHEM. I APOLOGIZE, JUDGE. 564 00:27:18,004 --> 00:27:19,471 YOU ASK ME, 565 00:27:19,505 --> 00:27:21,841 YOUR CLIENT ALREADY WATCHES TOO MUCH TELEVISION. 566 00:27:21,874 --> 00:27:23,542 AH. AND THAT SMUTTY MOUTH. 567 00:27:23,575 --> 00:27:25,878 SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX. 568 00:27:25,912 --> 00:27:27,880 THAT WHAT YOU WATCH? 569 00:27:27,914 --> 00:27:29,615 SILENCE! 570 00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:32,551 (chuckles) UH, WELL, YOU KNOW, JUDGE, 571 00:27:32,584 --> 00:27:35,287 IN ADDITION TO THERE BEING LITTLE FOR US TO WATCH, 572 00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:37,389 MOST OF IT STINKS, 573 00:27:37,423 --> 00:27:39,391 AND IT'S PARTLY THIS THING'S FAULT. 574 00:27:39,425 --> 00:27:40,993 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 575 00:27:41,027 --> 00:27:43,863 WELL, A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE ON IT WHILE THEY'RE WATCHING. 576 00:27:43,896 --> 00:27:46,632 THEY NO LONGER GIVE TELEVISION THEIR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION. 577 00:27:46,665 --> 00:27:48,000 WE'RE EITHER ON THE PHONE 578 00:27:48,034 --> 00:27:50,636 OR WE'RE TEXTING OR ON THE INTERNET. 579 00:27:50,669 --> 00:27:52,504 SO THE PRODUCERS, THEY DUMB DOWN THE PLOTS, 580 00:27:52,538 --> 00:27:56,408 MAKE IT EASIER TO KEEP UP WITH WHILE THEIR VIEWERS MULTITASK. 581 00:27:56,442 --> 00:27:59,145 REALLY? KIDS NOWADAYS 582 00:27:59,178 --> 00:28:01,380 WATCH AN AVERAGE OF THREE HOURS OF TELEVISION A DAY. 583 00:28:01,413 --> 00:28:03,482 THAT'S WHILE BEING DISTRACTED. 584 00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:06,585 PEOPLE OVER 55, WE WATCH 6 HOURS A DAY. 585 00:28:06,618 --> 00:28:08,354 AND WE REALLY WATCH. 586 00:28:08,387 --> 00:28:10,723 SO WHY AREN'T THEY PROGRAMMING FOR US? 587 00:28:10,757 --> 00:28:13,726 YOU KNOW, COME ON, DO THESE IDIOTS A FAVOR, JUDGE. 588 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:17,229 SEND THESE NETWORK BOZOS A CLUE. BE A LEADER. 589 00:28:17,263 --> 00:28:19,365 AND WE CAN'T WAIT FOR CONGRESS AFTER ALL, 590 00:28:19,398 --> 00:28:22,568 BECAUSE, WELL, THEY'RE BOZOS, TOO. 591 00:28:22,601 --> 00:28:25,738 *** 592 00:28:30,943 --> 00:28:33,279 THESE ARE THEIR MINDS THEY'RE MESSING WITH. 593 00:28:33,312 --> 00:28:35,181 WE DON'T EVEN KNOW THE LONG-TERM DAMAGE. 594 00:28:35,214 --> 00:28:36,949 NOW OBVIOUSLY, 595 00:28:36,983 --> 00:28:40,052 SHORT OF REQUIRING URINALYSIS AT THE S.A.T.s, 596 00:28:40,086 --> 00:28:42,521 WE CAN'T MONITOR WHO IS OR ISN'T USING, 597 00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:45,057 BUT WE CAN TAKE A STAND AGAINST THE ONES 598 00:28:45,091 --> 00:28:46,558 WHO ARE BRAZEN ABOUT IT, 599 00:28:46,592 --> 00:28:49,628 WHO DEFEND IT AS ACCEPTABLE AND FAIR. 600 00:28:49,661 --> 00:28:52,731 SIMPLY PUT, WHAT MARGIE COGGINS DID 601 00:28:52,765 --> 00:28:54,300 WAS DECIDEDLY UNFAIR. 602 00:28:54,333 --> 00:28:56,969 IT'S CHEATING. 603 00:28:57,003 --> 00:28:59,906 NOT IN KEEPING WITH THE IDEALS OF HARVARD. 604 00:28:59,939 --> 00:29:02,441 (Jerry) I GOT INTO HARVARD. 605 00:29:02,474 --> 00:29:03,810 MOST DON'T. 606 00:29:03,843 --> 00:29:05,878 HARVARD REJECTS OVER 90% OF ITS APPLICANTS. 607 00:29:05,912 --> 00:29:08,881 THAT'S 90% OF THE BEST HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS. 608 00:29:08,915 --> 00:29:11,918 THE REST DON'T EVEN BOTHER APPLYING. 609 00:29:11,951 --> 00:29:13,419 THE PROBLEM IS, 610 00:29:13,452 --> 00:29:16,923 EVERY PARENT WANTS THEIR KID TO GO TO HARVARD. 611 00:29:16,956 --> 00:29:19,591 PARENTS PUSH, NUDGE. SOME KICK. 612 00:29:19,625 --> 00:29:22,461 LOOK AT THE CLIMATE WE'VE CREATED. 613 00:29:22,494 --> 00:29:24,430 80% OF HONORS 614 00:29:24,463 --> 00:29:27,133 AND ADVANCE-PLACEMENT STUDENTS CHEAT, 615 00:29:27,166 --> 00:29:30,336 NOT ONCE OR TWICE, BUT ON A REGULAR BASIS. 616 00:29:30,369 --> 00:29:33,239 SHE DIDN'T. SHE DIDN'T GET THE TEST ANSWERS AHEAD OF TIME. 617 00:29:33,272 --> 00:29:36,175 SHE DIDN'T COPY HER NEIGHBOR'S PAPER. 618 00:29:36,208 --> 00:29:38,277 SHE USED HER OWN BRAIN. YES, SHE USED 619 00:29:38,310 --> 00:29:41,247 A PRESCRIPTION STIMULANT TO STAY FOCUSED AND ALERT. 620 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:44,316 AT LEAST 30% OF COLLEGE STUDENTS ADMIT TO DOING THE SAME THING. 621 00:29:44,350 --> 00:29:47,186 NOT ONLY ARE THERE CURRENTLY NO LAWS AGAINST IT, 622 00:29:47,219 --> 00:29:48,587 THERE ARE CURRENTLY NO RULES. 623 00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:51,824 THESE KIDS GROW UP IN A PERVASIVE DRUG CULTURE. 624 00:29:51,858 --> 00:29:54,827 WE'VE GOT MEDICATIONS NOT JUST TO TREAT DISEASES, 625 00:29:54,861 --> 00:29:57,830 BUT SIMPLY TO HELP YOU DO THINGS BETTER, 626 00:29:57,864 --> 00:30:00,166 BE IT SEX, URINATING, DIGESTING. 627 00:30:00,199 --> 00:30:02,668 WE'VE GOT SOME TO BOOST ENERGY, OTHERS TO HELP YOU SLEEP. 628 00:30:02,701 --> 00:30:04,303 BETTER LIFE, 629 00:30:04,336 --> 00:30:06,438 MORE PRODUCTIVE LIFE THROUGH CHEMISTRY. 630 00:30:06,472 --> 00:30:08,607 THE DRUG WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE 631 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:11,978 IS USED OFF LABEL BY MANY TO BOOST BRAIN POWER. 632 00:30:12,011 --> 00:30:13,545 PERSONALLY... 633 00:30:13,579 --> 00:30:17,449 I'VE TRIED MEDICATION TO HELP WITH MY ASPERGER'S. 634 00:30:17,483 --> 00:30:19,718 SOME WORKED. 635 00:30:19,751 --> 00:30:23,389 THEY MADE ME FEEL SAFER EMOTIONALLY. 636 00:30:23,422 --> 00:30:25,624 SHOULD I NOT GET THAT RIGHT? 637 00:30:25,657 --> 00:30:29,695 OR ARE DRUGS FOR EMOTIONS OKAY, BUT COGNITION, NO? 638 00:30:29,728 --> 00:30:32,064 OR SHOULD THE RULE BE FOR DISORDER, YES, 639 00:30:32,098 --> 00:30:34,466 BUT ENHANCEMENT, NO? 640 00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:37,403 WHERE DO YOU DRAW THAT LINE? SHE DIDN'T HAVE A PRESCRIPTION 641 00:30:37,436 --> 00:30:41,373 FOR THE ONES SHE TOOK. TRUE, BUT MANY KIDS DO THIS. SHE'S NO DIFFERENT. 642 00:30:41,407 --> 00:30:44,843 EXCEPT SHE GOT CAUGHT. SHE DIDN'T GET CAUGHT. SHE WAS SIMPLY HONEST ABOUT IT. 643 00:30:44,877 --> 00:30:47,379 HONESTY--THAT'S THE INFRACTION 644 00:30:47,413 --> 00:30:49,681 THAT'S GETTING HER BOUNCED ON MORAL CHARACTER GROUNDS. 645 00:30:49,715 --> 00:30:53,019 HYPOCRISY MIGHT BE A BETTER WORD. 646 00:31:02,428 --> 00:31:05,097 OH! 647 00:31:11,070 --> 00:31:15,541 *** 648 00:31:15,574 --> 00:31:17,509 (Mendelssohn's "Wedding March from 649 00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:20,612 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'" playing) 650 00:31:27,653 --> 00:31:30,522 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 651 00:31:30,556 --> 00:31:33,892 I'M GIVING THE BRIDE AWAY, REMEMBER? 652 00:31:33,926 --> 00:31:36,195 (chuckles) OH. I'M PRACTICING. 653 00:31:36,228 --> 00:31:38,230 (turns music off) 654 00:31:38,264 --> 00:31:40,632 I WANT TO GET IT RIGHT. 655 00:31:40,666 --> 00:31:42,434 AH. 656 00:31:42,468 --> 00:31:44,603 AND SHE'S GONNA MAKE A MAGNIFICENT BRIDE... 657 00:31:44,636 --> 00:31:46,638 FOR THE SEVENTH TIME. 658 00:31:46,672 --> 00:31:49,008 (laughs) YEAH. 659 00:31:50,609 --> 00:31:52,744 NEED SOMETHING? 660 00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:56,983 DENNY, THE MASSACHUSETTS SUPREME COURT, 661 00:31:57,016 --> 00:31:58,650 THEY SAID NO. 662 00:31:58,684 --> 00:32:03,289 (whispers) OH, JEEZ. 663 00:32:03,322 --> 00:32:05,257 (normal voice) ANY APPEAL? 664 00:32:05,291 --> 00:32:07,259 WELL, TO THE U.S. SUPREME COURT, 665 00:32:07,293 --> 00:32:10,596 BUT THEY'VE ALREADY REFUSED TO HEAR THIS VERY ARGUMENT, SO... 666 00:32:10,629 --> 00:32:12,464 SO NOW WHAT? 667 00:32:12,498 --> 00:32:13,832 I'M NOT SURE. 668 00:32:13,865 --> 00:32:17,003 WE CAN TRY TO GET YOU INTO THE CLINICAL TRIALS. 669 00:32:17,036 --> 00:32:19,438 WE COULD GO TO RUSSIA. WE COULD. 670 00:32:19,471 --> 00:32:21,573 OR WE COULD GO TO ATLANTA. 671 00:32:21,607 --> 00:32:23,809 I HEAR THE RUSSIANS HAVE KINDA TAKEN OVER GEORGIA, 672 00:32:23,842 --> 00:32:26,512 SO WE COULD GO TO ATLANTA. IT'S ANOTHER GEORGIA 673 00:32:26,545 --> 00:32:30,749 THAT THE RUSSIANS HAVE GOTTEN INVOLVED WITH-- THEN WE'LL GO TO THE REAL RUSSIA. 674 00:32:30,782 --> 00:32:32,751 THEY GOT MAGNIFICENT SALMON STREAMS 675 00:32:32,784 --> 00:32:34,486 AND NO FISH FARMS. 676 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:36,755 WHAT A ROAD TRIP. 677 00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:39,591 CAN YOU IMAGINE YOU AND ME ON THE LOOSE IN RUSSIA? 678 00:32:39,625 --> 00:32:42,661 (laughs) THAT WOULD BE SOMETHING. GO FLY-FISHING WITH PUTIN. 679 00:32:42,694 --> 00:32:44,530 LOOK HIM IN THE EYE, SEE HIS SOUL. 680 00:32:44,563 --> 00:32:46,532 TELL HIM TO KEEP HIS BIG, UGLY HEAD 681 00:32:46,565 --> 00:32:49,068 OUT OF ALASKAN AIRSPACE. 682 00:32:51,470 --> 00:32:53,539 RIGHT AFTER THE WEDDING. 683 00:32:53,572 --> 00:32:55,441 OFF TO RUSSIA. 684 00:32:55,474 --> 00:32:57,543 (chuckles) 685 00:32:57,576 --> 00:33:00,546 *** 686 00:33:07,486 --> 00:33:10,689 *** 687 00:33:10,722 --> 00:33:12,324 ALL RIGHT. 688 00:33:12,358 --> 00:33:14,493 I CAN'T SOLVE THE BRAIN ENHANCEMENT DEBATE 689 00:33:14,526 --> 00:33:16,462 WITH ONE RULING. 690 00:33:16,495 --> 00:33:18,030 BUT IN THIS CASE, 691 00:33:18,064 --> 00:33:20,499 THE PLAINTIFF DIDN'T HAVE A PRESCRIPTION. 692 00:33:20,532 --> 00:33:22,301 WHAT SHE DID WAS ILLEGAL. 693 00:33:22,334 --> 00:33:25,837 I AM NOT ORDERING HARVARD TO REINSTATE HER. 694 00:33:25,871 --> 00:33:28,240 WE'RE ADJOURNED. (Margie gasps) 695 00:33:28,274 --> 00:33:31,543 WH-WHAT DO I DO NOW? 696 00:33:31,577 --> 00:33:33,412 (makes popping noise) 697 00:33:33,445 --> 00:33:37,349 HMM. 698 00:33:37,383 --> 00:33:40,352 WHAT'S THIS? 699 00:33:40,386 --> 00:33:43,389 WELL... THIS... 700 00:33:43,422 --> 00:33:46,925 WOULD BE... A-A LECTURE, I GUESS. 701 00:33:46,958 --> 00:33:50,262 YOU SAID YOU GEARED YOUR WHOLE LIFE 702 00:33:50,296 --> 00:33:53,099 TOWARD GETTING INTO HARVARD. 703 00:33:53,132 --> 00:33:55,901 AND NOW YOU THINK IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD 704 00:33:55,934 --> 00:33:57,769 THAT... (makes popping noise) 705 00:33:57,803 --> 00:33:59,538 IT'S THIS VERY 706 00:33:59,571 --> 00:34:01,373 UBER-SUPER-COMEPITITIVE MENTALITY THAT CAUSED YOU 707 00:34:01,407 --> 00:34:04,276 TO TAKE THE PILLS IN THE FIRST PLACE, MARGIE, AND-- 708 00:34:04,310 --> 00:34:06,278 MR. ESPENSON, YOU DID GET INTO HARVARD. 709 00:34:06,312 --> 00:34:08,547 AND IT CHANGED NOTHING. 710 00:34:08,580 --> 00:34:10,449 I STILL POPPED, PURRED, HOPPED. 711 00:34:10,482 --> 00:34:12,851 I WAS STILL RIDICULED. HARVARD DIDN'T CHANGE IT. 712 00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:15,454 BUT I WAS SO SURE LAW SCHOOL WOULD, 713 00:34:15,487 --> 00:34:17,723 BECAUSE EVERYBODY RESPECTS LAWYERS. 714 00:34:17,756 --> 00:34:20,359 SO I STUDIED, STUDIED, MADE TOP OF MY CLASS. 715 00:34:20,392 --> 00:34:22,027 IT CHANGED NOTHING. 716 00:34:22,060 --> 00:34:24,896 BUT I WAS POSITIVE MAKING PARTNER WOULD. 717 00:34:24,930 --> 00:34:28,267 WELL... GUESS WHAT. (chuckles) 718 00:34:28,300 --> 00:34:31,437 NONE OF IT CAN GIVE YOU SELF-ACCEPTANCE. 719 00:34:31,470 --> 00:34:33,105 FOR THAT, YOU NEED-- 720 00:34:33,139 --> 00:34:34,540 A DIFFERENT DRUG? 721 00:34:34,573 --> 00:34:36,775 EXACTLY. AND--NO. NO! 722 00:34:36,808 --> 00:34:40,045 FOR SELF-ACCEPTANCE, YOU NEED TO GO 723 00:34:40,078 --> 00:34:42,414 TO A FAR DEEPER, PERHAPS DARKER, 724 00:34:42,448 --> 00:34:44,550 CERTAINLY SCARIER PLACE. 725 00:34:44,583 --> 00:34:47,153 YOUR PROBLEM, MARGIE, IS YOUR PRIORITIES. 726 00:34:47,186 --> 00:34:50,289 HARVARD ISN'T GOING TO GIVE YOU WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE. 727 00:34:50,322 --> 00:34:53,292 TRUST ME. 728 00:35:01,867 --> 00:35:04,470 *** 729 00:35:04,503 --> 00:35:07,473 AT FIRST, I THOUGHT THIS CASE WAS LIKE EVERY OTHER CASE 730 00:35:07,506 --> 00:35:09,475 BROUGHT BY THIS... RIDICULOUS LAW FIRM-- 731 00:35:09,508 --> 00:35:12,478 RIDICULOUS AND OUTRAGEOUS. 732 00:35:12,511 --> 00:35:14,946 BUT I CAN'T IGNORE, 733 00:35:14,980 --> 00:35:19,985 AGEISM IS ONE OF THE LAST SOCIALLY CONDONED BIGOTRIES. 734 00:35:20,018 --> 00:35:25,291 AND IT IS RAMPANT IN THIS BROADCAST NETWORK BUSINESS. 735 00:35:25,324 --> 00:35:28,294 THEY CONSIDER THOSE OF US OVER 50 TO BE IRRELEVANT. 736 00:35:28,327 --> 00:35:30,296 (chuckles) HOW IS IT POSSIBLE 737 00:35:30,329 --> 00:35:33,031 THAT WE ARE NOT EVEN A PART OF THE TARGET DEMO 738 00:35:33,064 --> 00:35:35,033 WHEN WE WATCH THE MOST TELEVISION 739 00:35:35,066 --> 00:35:37,303 AND SPEND THE MOST MONEY? 740 00:35:37,336 --> 00:35:39,305 MY GOD, THERE ARE 87 MILLION OF US, 741 00:35:39,338 --> 00:35:43,041 AND THAT NUMBER WILL GROW BY 31 MILLION MORE BY 2020. 742 00:35:43,074 --> 00:35:46,044 ARE YOU REALLY TELLING ME THAT IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE 743 00:35:46,077 --> 00:35:49,014 TO MAKE TELEVISION SHOWS THAT WE WANT TO WATCH? 744 00:35:49,047 --> 00:35:50,782 IF I AM TO ASSUME 745 00:35:50,816 --> 00:35:53,151 THAT THE INDUSTRY IS NOT RUN BY A BUNCH OF IDIOTS, 746 00:35:53,185 --> 00:35:56,955 THEN I CAN ONLY CONCLUDE THAT IT'S DOMINATED BY PREJUDICE. 747 00:35:56,988 --> 00:36:00,626 THE CASE STANDS. 748 00:36:00,659 --> 00:36:02,694 ADJOURNED. 749 00:36:02,728 --> 00:36:06,898 (gallery murmuring) 750 00:36:06,932 --> 00:36:09,668 (chuckles) WELL, WELL, WELL. 751 00:36:09,701 --> 00:36:11,403 CONGRATULATIONS, CATHERINE. 752 00:36:11,437 --> 00:36:13,205 YOU KNOW... 753 00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:18,176 OLD PEOPLE HAVE ACTIVE SEX LIVES, TOO. 754 00:36:18,210 --> 00:36:21,380 MY TRAILER OR YOURS? 755 00:36:21,413 --> 00:36:24,350 (Joe Cocker's "You Are So Beautiful" playing) 756 00:36:30,756 --> 00:36:33,492 * YOU ARE 757 00:36:33,525 --> 00:36:37,095 * SO BEAUTIFUL 758 00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:46,905 * TO ME 759 00:36:46,938 --> 00:36:49,375 * YOU ARE 760 00:36:49,408 --> 00:36:53,279 * SO BEAUTIFUL 761 00:36:53,312 --> 00:36:59,117 * TO ME 762 00:37:09,395 --> 00:37:10,929 DENNY. 763 00:37:12,664 --> 00:37:14,400 OH, HEY... 764 00:37:14,433 --> 00:37:16,735 CARL. 765 00:37:16,768 --> 00:37:19,137 UH, I WAS, UH... 766 00:37:20,906 --> 00:37:23,442 JUST PRACTICING. 767 00:37:23,475 --> 00:37:26,845 I-I WANT TO GIVE HER AWAY RIGHT. 768 00:37:28,647 --> 00:37:31,583 LISTEN, I, UM... 769 00:37:31,617 --> 00:37:35,987 I APPRECIATE YOU BEING SUCH A... 770 00:37:36,021 --> 00:37:38,457 WELL, A GREAT SPORT ABOUT THIS. 771 00:37:38,490 --> 00:37:41,059 I KNOW THAT ON SOME LEVEL, IT-- 772 00:37:41,092 --> 00:37:43,962 (Alan) WHAT?! OH, MY JIMINY CHRISTMAS! 773 00:37:43,995 --> 00:37:44,830 DENNY! DENNY! WE'RE GOIN' BACK! WE'RE GOIN' BACK! 774 00:37:44,863 --> 00:37:46,732 WE'RE GOIN' BACK! WHAT ARE YOU TALK-- 775 00:37:46,765 --> 00:37:48,434 THE CASE! THE CASE! THE CASE! 776 00:37:48,467 --> 00:37:50,402 I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH THE CLERK'S OFFICE. 777 00:37:50,436 --> 00:37:51,937 THE MASSACHUSETTS-- SLOW DOWN. 778 00:37:51,970 --> 00:37:54,306 WE'RE ON OUR WAY! R-RUSSIA? 779 00:37:54,340 --> 00:37:56,074 NOT RUSSIA. ATLANTA? 780 00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:58,076 NO, WASHINGTON! THE MASSACHUSETTS SUPREME COURT, 781 00:37:58,109 --> 00:37:59,578 ON THEIR OWN INITIATIVE, 782 00:37:59,611 --> 00:38:01,279 PETITIONED THE U.S. SUPREME COURT. 783 00:38:01,313 --> 00:38:03,615 THIS TIME, THEY AGREED TO HEAR IT. HEAR WHAT? 784 00:38:03,649 --> 00:38:05,351 OUR CASE! WHAT?! 785 00:38:05,384 --> 00:38:06,852 WE'RE GOING BACK TO THE SUPREME COURT! WHEN? 786 00:38:06,885 --> 00:38:08,954 NEXT WEEK. NEXT WEEK? 787 00:38:08,987 --> 00:38:11,022 NEXT WEEK! OH! 788 00:38:11,056 --> 00:38:13,525 (both) SUPREME COURT! SUPREME COURT! SUPREME COURT! 789 00:38:13,559 --> 00:38:16,462 (Alan) SORRY, CARL. DON'T MEAN TO EXCLUDE YOU. OH! 790 00:38:16,495 --> 00:38:19,197 SUPREME COURT! SUPREME COURT! SUPREME COURT! SUPREME COURT! 791 00:38:19,230 --> 00:38:22,468 (typing) 792 00:38:29,641 --> 00:38:31,943 WORKING LATE AGAIN? 793 00:38:31,977 --> 00:38:35,313 IT'S A MYTH THE WORKLOAD DROPS WHEN YOU MAKE PARTNER. 794 00:38:35,347 --> 00:38:38,316 GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN. 795 00:38:41,019 --> 00:38:43,489 JERRY, CAN I SAY SOMETHING? 796 00:38:43,522 --> 00:38:45,023 MM. 797 00:38:45,056 --> 00:38:48,660 YOUR COMMENT ABOUT YOU BEING WEAKER THAN... 798 00:38:48,694 --> 00:38:52,130 I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT, AND I DISAGREE. 799 00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:54,132 I QUITE THINK YOU MIGHT BE 800 00:38:54,165 --> 00:38:56,635 THE BRAVEST PERSON I'VE EVER MET. 801 00:38:56,668 --> 00:38:59,037 WHY? 802 00:38:59,070 --> 00:39:02,173 JUST THE WAY YOU TAKE ON YOUR VARIOUS CHALLENGES EVERY DAY. 803 00:39:02,207 --> 00:39:04,543 THERE AREN'T MANY MEN LIKE YOU, JERRY. 804 00:39:07,546 --> 00:39:10,215 (sighs) THANKS. 805 00:39:14,085 --> 00:39:16,054 HOW ABOUT WE GO FOR A DRINK? 806 00:39:16,087 --> 00:39:18,189 WE HAD A GOOD DAY. 807 00:39:18,223 --> 00:39:21,326 WE ACTUALLY LOST, COME TO THINK OF IT. 808 00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:24,530 ALL THE MORE REASON. SHALL WE? AS COLLEAGUES? 809 00:39:24,563 --> 00:39:27,198 JERRY, LET'S GO FOR A DRINK. 810 00:39:29,267 --> 00:39:33,038 I'LL MEET YOU BY THE ELEVATOR? 811 00:39:33,071 --> 00:39:36,408 *** 812 00:39:47,118 --> 00:39:48,754 (objects clatter) 813 00:39:50,221 --> 00:39:53,124 (clattering) 814 00:39:53,158 --> 00:39:55,794 *** 815 00:39:55,827 --> 00:39:58,229 DO YOU THINK THE SUPREME COURT, 816 00:39:58,263 --> 00:40:00,732 WHEN THEY AGREED TO TAKE THIS CASE, 817 00:40:00,766 --> 00:40:02,100 KNEW IT WAS US? 818 00:40:02,133 --> 00:40:04,736 (laughing) I DON'T KNOW. 819 00:40:04,770 --> 00:40:06,872 MAYBE THEY WANT A REMATCH. 820 00:40:06,905 --> 00:40:09,274 HA! YOU'LL KICK THEIR ASSES AGAIN. 821 00:40:09,307 --> 00:40:10,609 (laughs) 822 00:40:10,642 --> 00:40:13,044 THEY'LL HAVE TO BRING IN MORE JUSTICES. 823 00:40:13,078 --> 00:40:14,913 I THINK THEY'RE ONLY ALLOWED THE NINE. 824 00:40:14,946 --> 00:40:16,782 (laughs) 825 00:40:16,815 --> 00:40:19,451 HEY, MAYBE I'LL RETIRE AFTER THIS. 826 00:40:19,485 --> 00:40:22,754 DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. WELL, WHAT BETTER WAY TO GO OUT? 827 00:40:22,788 --> 00:40:27,258 MY LAST CASE--IN FRONT OF THE SUPREME COURT. 828 00:40:27,292 --> 00:40:30,395 NOW THERE'S A FINALE, ALAN. THEY SHOULD PUT IT ON TV. 829 00:40:30,428 --> 00:40:32,931 WE'D GET RATINGS. IF THEY PROMOTED US, 830 00:40:32,964 --> 00:40:36,334 OF COURSE, I THINK THERE'S A LAW AGAINST PROMOTING US. SEEMS TO BE. 831 00:40:38,203 --> 00:40:41,172 WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU RETIRED, DENNY, SERIOUSLY? 832 00:40:43,374 --> 00:40:44,510 FISH. 833 00:40:44,543 --> 00:40:46,177 EVERY DAY? 834 00:40:46,211 --> 00:40:48,246 NOT EVERY DAY. I'D HAVE SEX SOME DAYS. 835 00:40:48,279 --> 00:40:51,249 MAYBE I SHOULD INVITE RUTH BADER GINSBURG 836 00:40:51,282 --> 00:40:53,485 TO COME TO NIMMO BAY WITH ME. 837 00:40:53,519 --> 00:40:55,821 WHAT ABOUT ME? 838 00:40:55,854 --> 00:40:57,789 YOU CAN BORROW MAGAZINES FROM CLARENCE THOMAS. 839 00:40:57,823 --> 00:40:59,591 (both laugh) 840 00:40:59,625 --> 00:41:03,795 OH, WON'T THEY BE SO HAPPY TO SEE US AGAIN? 841 00:41:03,829 --> 00:41:05,797 THE REMATCH. (laughs) THE REMATCH. 842 00:41:05,831 --> 00:41:06,364 GRAND FINALE. 843 00:41:06,397 --> 00:41:09,768 SPECIAL 9:00 START TIME. 844 00:41:09,801 --> 00:41:12,671 (chuckles) 845 00:41:12,704 --> 00:41:13,872 AHH. 846 00:41:13,905 --> 00:41:18,877 I MADE ANOTHER DECISION TODAY. 847 00:41:18,910 --> 00:41:20,546 WHICH IS? 848 00:41:20,579 --> 00:41:22,681 I'M NOT DYING. 849 00:41:22,714 --> 00:41:25,517 I LIKE THAT IDEA. 850 00:41:25,551 --> 00:41:28,620 I'M GONNA GET MY HANDS ON THIS DRUG ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. 851 00:41:28,654 --> 00:41:31,690 HELL, THIS IS AMERICA. IF WE HAVE TO, WE'LL-- BRIBE. 852 00:41:31,723 --> 00:41:35,026 DAMN RIGHT. 853 00:41:35,060 --> 00:41:36,662 AND EVEN IF I FAIL, 854 00:41:36,695 --> 00:41:39,030 THEY SAY IF YOU KEEP GETTING EXCITED ABOUT LIFE, 855 00:41:39,064 --> 00:41:42,200 THE BLOOD RUSHES TO YOUR BRAIN BETTER. 856 00:41:42,233 --> 00:41:44,536 I'LL LOVE LIFE, ALAN, 857 00:41:44,570 --> 00:41:46,471 EVEN IF IT KILLS ME. 858 00:41:46,504 --> 00:41:50,108 I'LL FISH, I'LL BE WITH YOU. 859 00:41:52,010 --> 00:41:56,114 I'LL LOVE LIFE, ALAN. 860 00:41:57,716 --> 00:41:59,885 AND NEXT WEEK, I'LL LOVE LIFE IN WASHINGTON 861 00:41:59,918 --> 00:42:01,753 IN FRONT OF THE SUPREME COURT. 862 00:42:01,787 --> 00:42:04,890 AND AFTER THAT, I'LL LOVE IT IN--IN NIMMO BAY-- 863 00:42:04,923 --> 00:42:06,658 WITH RUTH BADER GINSBURG. SHE WANTS ME. 864 00:42:06,692 --> 00:42:09,227 I SAW THAT. HEY, MAYBE SHE PERSUADED THEM TO TAKE THIS CASE. 865 00:42:09,260 --> 00:42:11,763 TO BE CLOSER TO YOU. 866 00:42:11,797 --> 00:42:14,900 OH, RUTHIE, RUTHIE, RUTHIE. 867 00:42:14,933 --> 00:42:17,202 HERE WE COME. 868 00:42:17,235 --> 00:42:20,371 *** 869 00:42:28,546 --> 00:42:29,514 NEXT ON "BOSTON LEGAL"... 870 00:42:29,547 --> 00:42:31,216 WE'RE NOT SELLING OUT TO A BUNCH OF COMMIES. 871 00:42:31,249 --> 00:42:32,550 DENNY-- HOW DARE YOU? 872 00:42:32,584 --> 00:42:35,520 THEY ARE NOT THE DEVIL. YES, THEY ARE. 873 00:42:35,553 --> 00:42:37,222 BECAUSE THEY'RE CHINESE? YES. 874 00:42:37,255 --> 00:42:39,758 (Paul) YOU'RE A BIGOT. WE PICKED A REALLY BAD WEEK TO GET MARRIED. 875 00:42:39,791 --> 00:42:42,360 WHO KNOWS HOW LONG I HAVE LEFT? YOU HAVE A LONG TIME LEFT. 876 00:42:42,393 --> 00:42:45,797 WE'RE GOING TO THE SUPREME COURT AND WE'RE GETTING YOU THAT DRUG. 877 00:42:45,831 --> 00:42:48,233 THIS WILL BE, LIKE, OUR THIRD DATE, JERRY. HELLO. WELCOME. HELLO. 878 00:42:48,266 --> 00:42:50,068 THE INDECENCY OF A DISEASE 879 00:42:50,101 --> 00:42:53,071 THAT CRIPPLES THE BODY AS IT ROTS THE BRAIN 880 00:42:53,104 --> 00:42:56,141 CAN ONLY BE EXCEEDED BY THE INHUMANITY OF KNOWING 881 00:42:56,174 --> 00:42:58,710 THERE'S A DRUG THAT COULD HELP AND NOT LETTING HIM HAVE IT.