1 00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:04,838 *** 2 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,147 DID HE SAY WHAT IT WAS ABOUT? 3 00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:15,149 NO, AND I TRIED TO GET HIM TO TELL ME. 4 00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:17,151 HE SAID HE'D ONLY SPEAK TO YOU. 5 00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:19,153 WELL, I'VE GOT THE WEEKS COMING IN. 6 00:00:19,187 --> 00:00:21,155 THEY'RE FIGHTING OVER THE NANTUCKET HOUSE AGAIN. 7 00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:23,757 HE SAYS HE'LL ONLY SPEAK TO YOU. 8 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,928 DWIGHT, HOW ARE YOU? 9 00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:31,265 OH, NOT GOOD, SHIRLEY. 10 00:00:31,299 --> 00:00:32,766 WHY? 11 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,268 JEANIE IS LEAVING ME. 12 00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:37,605 WHAT? WHY? 13 00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:40,241 AND SHE'S TRYING TO HAVE THE MARRIAGE ANNULLED. 14 00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:42,776 THAT'S RIDICULOUS, NOT TO MENTION IMPOSSIBLE. 15 00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:45,113 YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED OVER 20 YEARS. 16 00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:47,115 SHE JUST WANTS IT ALL ERASED, 17 00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:49,617 AS IF--AS IF I NEVER EXISTED, I GUESS. 18 00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:52,086 WHY? WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO HER? 19 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:56,290 WELL, IT'S MORE OF WHAT I'VE GOTTEN INTO, I SUPPOSE. 20 00:00:57,991 --> 00:00:59,960 I STRAYED. 21 00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:01,795 YOU? 22 00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:05,933 WELL, I-I CAN'T PRETEND I'M NOT SHOCKED. 23 00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:10,138 EVEN SO, INFIDELITY ISN'T GROUNDS FOR ANNULMENT. 24 00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:15,309 THERE'S SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME. 25 00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:17,445 (sighs) 26 00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,613 I STRAYED WITH WENDY. 27 00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:22,216 YOU'VE MET WENDY. 28 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:23,484 WENDY. 29 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:28,489 YOUR... COW? 30 00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:31,459 WE BECAME VERY CLOSE. 31 00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:34,061 ONE NIGHT, I'D HAD A BIT TO DRINK, I SUPPOSE. 32 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:37,965 JEANIE AND I HAD BEEN A LITTLE ESTRANGED, AND-- 33 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,303 YOU STRAYED... 34 00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:43,904 WITH LIVESTOCK? 35 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,474 IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. IT WAS ALL VERY LOVING. 36 00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:50,110 I KNOW JEANIE. SHE'S GONNA TRY AND MAKE ME OUT A BIG SICKO. 37 00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:51,679 GEE. 38 00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,147 OBVIOUSLY, I MADE A MISTAKE, 39 00:01:53,181 --> 00:01:55,816 BUT I'VE BEEN A GOOD HUSBAND FOR 23 YEARS, 40 00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:57,818 A DEACON AT OUR CHURCH, 41 00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,320 A MODEL PHILANTHROPIST, 42 00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:01,789 A RESPECTED PROFESSOR AT A MAJOR UNIVERSITY, 43 00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:03,191 A TOWN SELECTMAN, EVEN. 44 00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:05,993 YOU SLEEP WITH ONE COW, PFBBT. 45 00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:08,629 PLEASE DON'T MAKE SPORT. 46 00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:10,164 AND DON'T MAKE LIGHT. 47 00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:14,001 I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY WIFE. 48 00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:17,037 *** 49 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,135 YOU CANNOT TURF THIS ONE TO ME. 50 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,638 OH, BUT I CAN. SHIRLEY-- 51 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:53,841 LOOK, I CAN DEFEND ALMOST ANYONE AGAINST ALMOST ANYTHING. 52 00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:56,910 BUT GROWING UP, I HAD A COW. 53 00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:58,212 YOU? 54 00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,980 NOT SEXUALLY. AS A PET. 55 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,149 BUMPY. 56 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:05,353 I HAD DOGS, CATS, A TREE FROG, BUT... BUMPY. 57 00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,821 I CHERISHED THAT ANIMAL. 58 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,590 TO THINK WHAT DWIGHT... 59 00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,592 I CAN'T GO THERE, DENISE. 60 00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:14,094 WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I CAN? YOU'RE BEING ASKED TO. 61 00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:17,097 THE NAME OF THIS FIRM IS CRANE, POOLE AND SCHMIDT. 62 00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:18,732 I'M SCHMIDT. 63 00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:21,101 SHIRLEY, PLEASE, I AM BEGGING YOU. 64 00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:24,372 SOMEONE'S GOT TO DO IT, DENISE. CAN'T BE ME. 65 00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,447 DENNY CRANE. 66 00:03:33,481 --> 00:03:35,449 I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M HERE. 67 00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:39,219 DENNY CRANE. I'VE BEEN SUMMONED. 68 00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:40,754 DENNY CRANE. 69 00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:42,423 DENNY CRANE. 70 00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:44,458 DENNY CRANE. 71 00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,462 TRIAL DATE IS SET FOR DECEMBER THE 2nd. 72 00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:51,064 WE WILL CONFERENCE A WEEK FROM TODAY. 73 00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:53,601 DENNY CRANE. WHO THE HELL CALLED, AND WHY? 74 00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:54,935 DENNY CRANE. 75 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:57,438 AH, MR. CRANE, RECALL JESSEL, WOULD YOU, PLEASE? 76 00:03:57,471 --> 00:04:00,073 DOCKET NUMBER 166253, 77 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:01,975 COMMONWEALTH vs RONALD JESSEL. 78 00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:03,977 MR. CRANE, YOU'VE BEEN ASSIGNED TO REPRESENT 79 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:07,448 ONE OF OUR INDIGENT DEFENDANTS. THANK YOU FOR COMING IN. 80 00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:09,950 NO CAN DO, JUDGE. I BEG YOUR PARDON? 81 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:11,819 INDIGENT ARE POOR. HATE THE POOR. CAN'T PAY. 82 00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:14,288 MR. CRANE, THIS ISN'T A REQUEST. IT'S A COURT ORDER. 83 00:04:14,322 --> 00:04:15,823 UNLESS YOU THINK THAT SENIOR PARTNERS 84 00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,558 ARE EXEMPT FROM CIVIC DUTY. 85 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,059 WAS IT A HOOKER? I CAN DO HOOKERS. 86 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,795 IT'S A MURDER CASE. YOUR CLIENT IS RIGHT THERE. 87 00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:29,136 DEFENSE PLEADS GUILTY. WE ACCEPT THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY'S 88 00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:31,505 RECOMMENDATION FOR SENTENCING. DENNY CRANE. 89 00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:33,507 COME BACK HERE THIS INSTANT, 90 00:04:33,541 --> 00:04:35,409 OR YOU WILL BE HELD IN CONTEMPT, SIR. 91 00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:37,345 WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? 92 00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:39,780 YOU WILL MEET YOUR CLIENT. 93 00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:42,282 YOU WILL RETURN HERE THIS AFTERNOON TO ENTER YOUR PLEA, 94 00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:44,284 AND YOU WILL GIVE HIM ADEQUATE REPRESENTATION. 95 00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:46,454 HE ALLEGEDLY KILLED A 13-YEAR-OLD GIRL, 96 00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:48,656 HENCE THE PRESENCE OF THE MEDIA. 97 00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:51,091 HE'LL GET HIGH-PROFILE REPRESENTATION AS WELL. 98 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,460 GO. 99 00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:08,809 HOPE YOU DIE. 100 00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,277 DENNY CRANE. 101 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,380 *** 102 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,669 HEY! KID. FRONT AND CENTER. 103 00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:40,073 BET YOU'D LICK MY SHOES FOR A MURDER CASE, 104 00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:42,710 WOULDN'T YOU, KID? I WOULD, SIR. 105 00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:44,712 BECAUSE I LIKE YOU, YOU WON'T HAVE TO LICK 'EM. 106 00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,814 JUST DUST 'EM WITH YOUR SLEEVE. YES, SIR. 107 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,817 WE CAN'T HAVE A CLOWN WAXING ON ABOUT G-8 AND WORLD ISSUES. 108 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,252 FOR GOD'S SAKE, IT'S A CHILDREN'S SHOW. 109 00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:54,254 WELL, WHEN DID YOU FIRE HIM? 110 00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:56,256 FRIDAY. HE FILED FOR THE T.R.O. YESTERDAY. 111 00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:58,426 LOOK, THIS COULD BE A PUBLIC RELATIONS NIGHTMARE. 112 00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:01,294 HE'S THE ONLY ZOZO THE STATION'S EVER HAD. 113 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,999 MAY I HELP YOU LADIES? WE'RE HERE FOR THE ASSISTANT'S POSITION. 114 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,300 HMM. 115 00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:14,508 CONGRATULATIONS. YOU'RE HIRED. 116 00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:16,510 THANK YOU ALL. LET'S GO INSIDE. 117 00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:19,513 ALAN, YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT. YOU HAVE TO AT LEAST INTERVIEW. 118 00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:22,115 WHY? I HAVE A VERY STRONG FEELING ABOUT THIS ONE. 119 00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:24,852 CAN YOU TYPE? SOME. 120 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:27,455 SEE? 121 00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:29,957 WHAT HAPPENED TO SHIRLEY? 122 00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:32,460 SHIRLEY LIKES TO ASSIGN CASES TO THE HOT HAND, 123 00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,962 AND RIGHT NOW I'M... HOT. 124 00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,930 I'VE KNOWN HER SINCE WE WERE KIDS. 125 00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:39,099 I MEAN, SHE KNOWS ME. THAT'S--THAT'S WHY-- 126 00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:42,269 WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULD BE WITH SOMEONE ELSE. 127 00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:46,907 SHIRLEY COULD BE... TOO CLOSE TO SEE THINGS OBJECTIVELY. 128 00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:52,446 IT'S BUMPY, ISN'T IT? 129 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,915 I HAD SUCH A CRUSH ON THAT COW. 130 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,051 THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME GAY. 131 00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:02,556 MR. BIDDLE, HAVE YOU, UM, GOTTEN COUNSELING FOR THIS? 132 00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:03,657 YES. 133 00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:06,226 YES. I'M--I'M WORKING ON IT. 134 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:09,096 LOOK, JEANIE MARRIED ME FOR BETTER OR WORSE, RIGHT? 135 00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:12,566 AND FOR 20-PLUS YEARS, IT'S BEEN A GREAT MARRIAGE. 136 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:17,337 I STILL LOVE HER. I DON'T WANT TO LOSE HER. 137 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:25,479 *** 138 00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:27,581 DEFENSE ENTERS A PLEA OF NOT GUILTY, YOUR HONOR. 139 00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:30,584 AT THIS TIME, WE WOULD LIKE TO BE HEARD ON BAIL. THIS MATTER-- 140 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,586 HOLD ON JUST A SECOND. WHERE'S DENNY CRANE? 141 00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:35,689 I'M AN ATTORNEY FROM CRANE, POOLE & SCHMIDT, SIR. 142 00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:38,692 I'M APPEARING-- I DIDN'T ASSIGN THIS CASE TO CRANE, POOLE & SCHMIDT. 143 00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:41,862 I ASSIGNED IT TO DENNY CRANE, COUNSELOR. WHERE IS HE? HE'S BACK AT THE FIRM, SIR. 144 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:44,665 I ASKED HIM TO DO A LITTLE RESEARCH. 145 00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:48,936 ARE YOU MAKING A JOKE IN MY COURTROOM, COUNSEL? NO, SIR. 146 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,470 STEP UP HERE, COUNSEL. 147 00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:56,644 HAVE YOU EVER TRIED A CASE BEFORE, COUNSEL? 148 00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:59,680 I WON MY MOOT COURT COMPETITION AT SUFFOLK, SIR. 149 00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:02,550 TURN AROUND. 150 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:04,284 WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? 151 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,786 I ASKED YOU TO TURN AROUND. 152 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,788 I SEE MEMBERS OF THE MEDIA HERE. 153 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,123 SOME OF YOU HAVE VIDEO CAMERAS. 154 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:12,292 I INVITE YOU TO POINT THEM THIS WAY. 155 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:15,663 WE LIKE TO THINK THAT ALL ARE ENTITLED TO A FAIR TRIAL 156 00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:17,297 IN THIS COUNTRY, 157 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,800 THAT WE HAVE AN ADVOCACY SYSTEM ABOUT TRUTH. 158 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,635 BUT THE REAL TRUTH-- THE UGLY ONE-- 159 00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:25,072 IS THAT THE INDIGENT GET ANYTHING BUT FAIRNESS. 160 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:26,574 ON THIS SIDE, 161 00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:30,177 WE HAVE A DISTRICT ATTORNEY WITH 50 HOMICIDE TRIALS 162 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,679 UNDER HIS BELT, 163 00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:33,681 AND HERE, REPRESENTING THE ACCUSED, 164 00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:36,149 WE HAVE A BOY WHO WON HIS MOOT COURT COMPETITION 165 00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:37,651 IN LAW SCHOOL. 166 00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:41,154 THIS IS HOW IT IS, PEOPLE. THE POOR GET THE LAWYERS 167 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,924 WHO CAN'T GET REAL CLIENTS OF THEIR OWN. 168 00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,726 WE HAVE A SYSTEM WHERE THE STATE 169 00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:47,728 MATCHES THE BEST AND THE BRIGHTEST 170 00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:50,230 AGAINST DEFENSE ATTORNEYS COMING OUT OF A POOL 171 00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:51,765 OF INEXPERIENCE AND INCOMPETENCE. 172 00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:53,266 IT IS AN INSULT TO OUR NOTION OF DEMOCRACY. 173 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:56,069 IT MAKES A MOCKERY OF CRIMINAL JUSTICE. 174 00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:58,839 I WILL NOT INDULGE A MOCKERY IN MY COURTROOM. 175 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,340 TURN AROUND, COUNSEL. 176 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:04,511 PUT ONE ARM BEHIND YOUR BACK, AS IF IT WERE TIED. 177 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:07,014 NOW STAND ON ONE LEG 178 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,583 AS IF YOUR CLIENT BARELY HAS A LEG TO STAND ON 179 00:09:09,617 --> 00:09:11,384 WITH YOU AS HIS COUNSEL. 180 00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:14,354 NOW YOU HOP ON OUT OF HERE. 181 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,290 TELL DENNY CRANE IF HE DOESN'T SHOW UP TO REPRESENT HIS CLIENT, 182 00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:19,292 HE WILL BE JAILED. 183 00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:21,494 HOP! NOW! 184 00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:40,814 CLOWN GOES UP FIRST. WHY DON'T YOU TAKE HIM? 185 00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:43,283 DO YOU HAVE A REAL NAME ON THIS GUY? 186 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,786 YEAH, ROBERT BERRIN, BUT HE'S BEEN ZOZO FOR 13 YEARS. 187 00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:48,956 I FIGURE I'LL TAKE OUR CLIENT ON DIRECT. 188 00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:51,058 THIS IS AT-WILL EMPLOYMENT? 189 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,961 YES, BUT THE DISCHARGE HAS TO BE IN GOOD FAITH. 190 00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:55,963 HE WAS UP FOR A BIG CONTRACT BUMP. 191 00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:58,666 SO MY BET IS THEY'RE GONNA ARGUE PRETEXT. (door opens) 192 00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:01,134 EXCUSE ME. COULD I STEAL ALAN FOR ONE SECOND? 193 00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:03,103 WE'RE IN A MEETING, MELISSA. 194 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:06,740 OH. YEAH. IT--IT'S JUST, I STARTED THINKING. 195 00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:09,142 I THINK THE HIGH OF GETTING THE JOB KIND OF... 196 00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:11,278 IT JUST HIT ME, 197 00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,280 UM, THE CRITERION ON WHICH I WAS HIRED, 198 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,282 AND NOW THAT I AM HIRED, 199 00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:17,150 I JUST THOUGHT THAT I SHOULD BE CLEAR. 200 00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:19,853 I WILL NOT BE OBJECTIFIED. I WILL NOT BE OGLED. 201 00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:21,321 IF I AM, I WRITE YOU UP. 202 00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,990 AND NO TOUCHING, NO--NO DOUBLE ENTENDRES, 203 00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:24,792 NO COMMENTS ON WHAT I'M WEARING. 204 00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:26,694 IF I GET ANY OF THAT, I WRITE YOU UP. 205 00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,962 I'M YOUR ASSISTANT, NOT YOUR SUBORDINATE. 206 00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:30,764 YOU CROSS THAT LINE, I... I WRITE YOU UP. 207 00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:33,633 FOLLOW THE RULES, WE SHOULD-- WE SHOULD GET ALONG FINE. 208 00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:36,670 (sighs) 209 00:10:36,704 --> 00:10:38,171 THAT'S ALL. 210 00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:41,975 I TOLD YOU TO INTERVIEW. 211 00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:54,888 I WILL NOT INDULGE A MOCKERY IN MY COURTROOM. 212 00:10:54,922 --> 00:10:57,357 TURN AROUND, COUNSEL. NOW STAND ON ONE LEG, 213 00:10:57,390 --> 00:11:00,227 AS IF YOUR CLIENT BARELY HAS A LEG TO STAND ON 214 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:03,864 WITH YOU AS HIS COUNSEL. NOW YOU HOP ON OUT OF HERE. 215 00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,365 TELL DENNY CRANE 216 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,868 IF HE DOESN'T SHOW UP TO REPRESENT HIS CLIENT, 217 00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:09,402 HE WILL BE JAILED. HOP! NOW! 218 00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:11,538 (Male reporter) THAT WAS THE SCENE AT THE COURTHOUSE 219 00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:13,140 THIS MORNING. CHANNEL 8's OWN LEGAL ANALYST 220 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,042 MARTIN TUPPER SAID HE'S NEVER SEEN ANYTHING... 221 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,977 (TV turns off) A JUDGE SAYS TO HOP, YOU DO IT? 222 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,980 ALL RIGHT, DENNY, YOU OBVIOUSLY NEED TO TAKE OVER THIS CASE. 223 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,582 WE CAN SEND ALAN IN AS BACKUP. I DON'T NEED BACKUP. 224 00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:24,484 DENNY... 225 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,420 I CAN HANDLE THIS CASE. I CAN HANDLE THIS JUDGE. 226 00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:29,723 A HOMICIDE, RIGHT? 227 00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:32,592 HOMICIDE AND RAPE. 228 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,271 "MISTER ROGERS," "SESAME STREET," 229 00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:45,605 "THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE," 230 00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:48,108 "THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS," OH, YOU NAME IT. 231 00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:52,112 ALL THE TOP CHILDREN'S ENTERTAINERS ARE EDUCATORS. 232 00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:53,947 (lowers voice) HE NEVER SAID HE'D BE IN COSTUME. 233 00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:55,448 (lowers voice) ALWAYS IN PUBLIC. 234 00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:57,450 (Man) BUT, MR. BERRIN, WHY GLOBAL WARMING? 235 00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:59,586 MAINLY BECAUSE IT'S POSSIBLY THE NUMBER ONE THREAT 236 00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:02,689 TO THIS PLANET, AND OUR COUNTRY'S DOING ALMOST NOTHING. 237 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,691 CAN YOU DO THE CROSS? 238 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:08,929 UH, EVEN SO, UH, NONE OF THIS SEEMS FUNNY, 239 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,430 AND YOU'RE A CLOWN. 240 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,933 GLOBAL WARMING COULD RESULT IN A RISING SEA LEVEL 241 00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:16,103 THAT COULD MAKE A HUGE PART OF THE WORLD UNINHABITABLE. 242 00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:18,772 WE AS AMERICANS HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY. 243 00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:22,609 THE U.S. MAKES UP 4% OF THE WORLD'S POPULATION, 244 00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:25,145 BUT WE PRODUCE 25% OF THE CARBON DIOXIDE POLLUTION-- 245 00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:27,981 MOST OF ANY COUNTRY. 246 00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:32,219 THE UNITED STATES IS THE LEADING CAUSE OF GLOBAL WARMING. 247 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,988 WE NEED TO TAKE A LEADING ROLE IN FINDING THE SOLUTION. 248 00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:37,257 (squeaks) 249 00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:45,498 LET'S GO. YOU'RE UP. 250 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,002 YOU GO. 251 00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:50,637 WHAT? 252 00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:52,105 AHEM. 253 00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:54,041 NO QUESTIONS, YOUR HONOR. 254 00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:57,244 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 255 00:12:57,277 --> 00:13:00,680 IF YOU WANT TO CROSS-EXAMINE HIM, BRAD, YOU DO IT. 256 00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:02,282 WHAT'S GOING ON? 257 00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:04,351 NOBODY EVER SAID HE'D BE IN COSTUME. 258 00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:13,060 I'M AFRAID OF CLOWNS. 259 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,130 (ding) 260 00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:18,798 HOW CAN ANYBODY BE AFRAID OF A CLOWN? 261 00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:20,300 KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN. 262 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,801 NOW HIS TESTIMONY GOES UNCONTESTED. 263 00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,470 YOU COULD HAVE CROSSED. I DIDN'T PREP A CROSS. 264 00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:24,972 WHAT'S GOING ON? 265 00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:26,473 HE'S AFRAID OF CLOWNS. 266 00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:29,042 I AM NOT. IT WAS STRATEGY. 267 00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:32,179 HEY. 268 00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:36,616 ANY CALLS? 269 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,485 NOT REALLY. 270 00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:40,320 AFRAID OF CLOWNS, HUH? 271 00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:49,897 YOU CANNOT ENTER A PLEA OF GUILTY. WHY NOT? 272 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,832 IT IS YOUR INTENT, SIR, TO PLEAD GUILTY TO THESE CRIMES? 273 00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:54,801 UM, NO, SIR. 274 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,871 YOU'RE NOT GONNA TAKE HIS WORD FOR IT, ARE YOU? 275 00:13:57,905 --> 00:13:59,706 COME ON, JUDGE. IF HE'D MURDER, HE'D LIE. 276 00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:01,508 STEP UP HERE, MR. CRANE. 277 00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:02,642 YES. 278 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,444 (sighs) 279 00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:11,251 YOU CAN STOP TRYING TO GET YOURSELF OFF THE CASE, COUNSEL. 280 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,153 THAT ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN. 281 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,155 LOOK, JUDGE, I CAN'T DEFEND A MAN 282 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,090 WHO RAPED AND MURDERED A 13-YEAR-OLD GIRL. 283 00:14:17,124 --> 00:14:19,326 SOMEBODY'S GOT TO DO IT. WHY ME? 284 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:21,328 BECAUSE I SAID SO. 285 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:24,264 WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY SECOND ISSUE. WHICH IS? 286 00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:27,800 YOU'RE A DOUCHE BAG. I DON'T DO WELL WITH DOUCHE BAGS. 287 00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:33,273 THAT WON'T WORK EITHER. YOU WILL TRY THIS CASE. 288 00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:36,076 ALL YOU WILL ACCOMPLISH WITH THIS UNFETTERED INSOLENCE 289 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:39,779 IS A JAIL SENTENCE FOR CONTEMPT AFTER YOU'VE TRIED THIS CASE. 290 00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:42,582 DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR, MR. CRANE? 291 00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:45,485 *** 292 00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:55,762 I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT SHE'S HORRIFIED, 293 00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:58,065 BUT TO ANNUL THE MARRIAGE? 294 00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:01,969 YOUR HONOR, IT IS SO ABERRANT. IT IS SUCH AN ABOMINATION. 295 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,937 IT IS SO ABHORRENT. 296 00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:07,207 AND SHE'S JUST ON THE "A" WORDS. LET'S GO TO "B" THEN. 297 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,109 BESTIALITY... 298 00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:11,311 IS NOT, EVER HAS BEEN GROUNDS FOR ANNULMENT. 299 00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:16,283 MRS. BIDDLE, WHY ERASE THE WHOLE MARRIAGE? 300 00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:20,587 BECAUSE IT WAS NEVER REAL. 301 00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:23,390 HE WAS ALWAYS IN LOVE WITH HER. 302 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,724 THE COW? 303 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,726 OVER THE LAST TEN YEARS OR SO, 304 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,729 SOMETIMES WHEN WE'D BEEN TOGETHER, 305 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,965 WHICH WAS NEVER A LOT, 306 00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:34,968 HE'D CALL OUT HER NAME-- WENDY. 307 00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:38,838 AND BEFORE HER, THERE WAS ANOTHER COW. 308 00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:41,975 ANOTHER COW? 309 00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:43,943 QUEENIE. I NEVER CAUGHT THEM, 310 00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:47,680 BUT I SAW THE WAY HE LOOKED AT HER, 311 00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:51,818 AND HE WOULD CALL OUT HER NAME, TOO, AND THEN TRY TO COVER 312 00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:54,454 BY SAYING I WAS HIS QUEEN. 313 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:57,290 THIS MARRIAGE IS NOT REAL. 314 00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:02,329 AND IT HURTS. 315 00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:09,936 MR. BIDDLE, I NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU. 316 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,471 WHY? 317 00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,873 BECAUSE I DO. IT'S SHOCKING. 318 00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:16,809 TOMORROW YOU WILL SIT IN THAT WITNESS CHAIR 319 00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:20,647 AND TELL ME WHY I SHOULDN'T ANNUL THIS UNION 320 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,183 YOU'VE SO DISGRACED. 321 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:32,292 SEE, IF YOU REQUEST ANOTHER LAWYER, THE JUDGE-- 322 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:33,960 I AIN'T REQUESTIN' NOTHIN'. 323 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:37,130 YOU HAVE TO. WE DON'T GET ALONG. 324 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:38,865 I LIKE YOU JUST FINE. 325 00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:40,967 YOU'RE A BIG LAWYER WITH BIG SUCK. 326 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,969 YOU'RE JUST WHAT I NEED. 327 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,305 LOOK, I CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO DEFEND A MAN 328 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,307 WHO KILLED A 13-YEAR-OLD GIRL. 329 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,509 OH, COME ON, MAN. 330 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,844 PROBABLY DID HER A FAVOR. 331 00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,647 WHAT DID YOU SAY? 332 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,149 I GOT A.I.D.S., DENNY CRANE. 333 00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:58,318 SHE COULD HAVE HAD A LOT OF SUFFERING AHEAD 334 00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,719 'CAUSE I REALLY WENT TO TOWN. 335 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,721 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 336 00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:03,956 SHE'S PROBABLY LUCKY I ENDED IT QUICK. 337 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,429 WELL, IF YOU REALLY HAVE A.I.D.S., 338 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,431 THERE COULD BE OTHER PSYCHOLOGICAL DEFENSES 339 00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:13,266 AVAILABLE TO US. YEAH. 340 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:16,603 LIKE TRAUMATIC DISTRESS, INSANITY, PERHAPS. 341 00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:18,271 ON THE OTHER HAND... 342 00:17:18,305 --> 00:17:20,440 WHAT-- (screams) IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. 343 00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:21,441 AAH! OOPSIE. 344 00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:22,942 FREEZE! DROP IT! 345 00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:25,112 HE CAME AT ME. I FEARED FOR MY LIFE. 346 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,449 HE SHOULD PROBABLY GET NEW COUNSEL. 347 00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:32,051 (crying) 348 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,132 (cell door buzzes) 349 00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:47,300 (cell door closes) 350 00:17:57,977 --> 00:18:00,247 THANK YOU. 351 00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:10,056 WHEN'S THE ARRAIGNMENT? 352 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,159 PAUL'S TRYING TO HEAD IT OFF. 353 00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:22,735 DENNY, FOR GOD'S SAKE. 354 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:25,438 YOU KNOW, ALAN... 355 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:27,274 I'M OLD. 356 00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:32,645 AND I'M NOT GOING TO SPEND WHAT TIME I HAVE LEFT, 357 00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:34,514 NOT EVEN A DAY, 358 00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:39,286 DEFENDING CHILD RAPIST KILLERS. 359 00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:42,955 I'D RATHER GO TO JAIL MYSELF. 360 00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:47,460 I HEAR YOU'RE AFRAID OF CLOWNS. 361 00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:53,366 FIRST TIME IN MY PROFESSIONAL CAREER 362 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,867 I ACTUALLY FROZE. 363 00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:56,903 WHAT HAPPENED? 364 00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:03,710 WHEN I WAS 3 YEARS OLD, 365 00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:10,317 MY MOTHER PUT SOME DECORATIVE, HIDEOUS CLOWN FACE IN MY ROOM. 366 00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:15,522 IT SO TERRIFIED ME, I'D WET MY BED, 367 00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:19,626 TOO AFRAID TO PASS HIM ON MY WAY TO THE BATHROOM. 368 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,961 WHEW. WHEN I WAS 8, 369 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:26,132 I WAS AGAIN TERRORIZED BY A CLOWN AT A PARADE-- 370 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:29,402 THE VERY SAME FACE. 371 00:19:29,436 --> 00:19:32,705 I WET MYSELF RIGHT THERE IN THE STREET. 372 00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:37,810 AND TODAY... THE SAME FACE AGAIN. 373 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:40,380 I DIDN'T DARE GET UP 374 00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:44,684 FOR FEAR I'D LEAVE A PUDDLE RIGHT IN THE COURTROOM. 375 00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:50,257 YOU DO HAVE ISSUES, DON'T YOU? 376 00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:55,094 DENNY, THIS IS SERIOUS. 377 00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:58,130 YOU COULD BE LOOKING AT REAL JAIL TIME. 378 00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:12,679 (Denise) DWIGHT, HAVE YOU SOUGHT PROFESSIONAL HELP? YES. 379 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,281 MY THERAPIST-- 380 00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:17,450 HE SAID THE GENESIS OF MY INFATUATION COULD HAVE BEEN 381 00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:20,887 THE UNCONDITIONAL ADORATION AND ACCEPTANCE 382 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,121 I GET FROM... 383 00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:23,556 WENDY. 384 00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,625 YES. 385 00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:27,460 AND DIDN'T YOUR THERAPIST ALSO TELL YOU 386 00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:30,930 YOUR LOVE FOR YOUR WIFE JEANIE IS IN PLAY HERE? YES. 387 00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:32,799 COULD YOU ELABORATE? 388 00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:38,805 WELL, JEANIE LOOKS A LITTLE LIKE A COW. 389 00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:40,773 YOU SEE? 390 00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:42,775 I FELL IN LOVE WITH WENDY 391 00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:44,644 BECAUSE SHE REMINDED ME OF YOU. 392 00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:56,623 I WON'T INSULT YOU, SCOTT, BY CONDONING DENNY'S ACTIONS-- 393 00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:59,225 SELF-DEFENSE. BUT A DISTRICT ATTORNEY-- 394 00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:01,394 AND I KNOW YOU KNOW THIS BECAUSE I TAUGHT YOU-- 395 00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:03,630 A DISTRICT ATTORNEY SHOULD NOT BRING A CASE 396 00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:07,500 WHEN HE LACKS A GOOD FAITH BELIEF OF CONVICTION. HERO. 397 00:21:07,534 --> 00:21:09,769 EVEN IF YOU COULD REFUTE SELF-DEFENSE... CAN'T. 398 00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:12,772 NO JURY IS GOING TO CONVICT HIM OF WOUNDING A MAN 399 00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:15,174 WHO RAPED AND STRANGLED A 13-YEAR-OLD GIRL. 400 00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:17,610 WHAT MESSAGE ARE YOU ASKING ME TO SEND, PAUL? 401 00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:20,447 IF A CRIME IS POPULAR ENOUGH, DON'T PROSECUTE? 402 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,815 YOU HAVEN'T GOT EVIDENCE. 403 00:21:22,849 --> 00:21:25,752 IT'S DENNY'S WORD AGAINST THE CHILD RAPIST'S. 404 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:29,589 FEARED FOR MY LIFE. AND SINCE YOU BROACHED THE TOPIC OF POPULARITY... 405 00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:33,360 YOU WANT TO MAKE ATTORNEY GENERAL, SCOTT. 406 00:21:33,393 --> 00:21:35,762 ONE NEEDS PUBLIC SUPPORT TO ACCOMPLISH THAT. 407 00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:38,331 HOW POPULAR DO YOU THINK YOU'LL BE 408 00:21:38,365 --> 00:21:40,367 IF YOU PROSECUTE DENNY CRANE? 409 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,001 DENNY CRANE. 410 00:21:46,339 --> 00:21:48,808 IT'S A CHILDREN'S SHOW, FOR GOD'S SAKE. 411 00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:52,612 HE'S A CLOWN, AND HE'S WAXING ON ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD. 412 00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:54,146 DID YOU TALK TO HIM? 413 00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:56,383 OVER AND OVER AND OVER. 414 00:21:56,416 --> 00:21:59,886 HE SAID HE HAD A SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY. 415 00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:01,287 MY GOD, WE HAD VIEWERS 416 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,155 CLICKING OVER TO AARON BROWN FOR A LAUGH. 417 00:22:03,189 --> 00:22:05,892 OUR SHOW BECAME PREACHY, UNFUNNY. 418 00:22:05,925 --> 00:22:08,127 RATINGS STARTED TO REFLECT IT, 419 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,896 AND WE SIMPLY HAD TO GET A NEW CLOWN. 420 00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:13,966 ZOZO TALKED ABOUT 9/11? YES, TO HELP CHILDREN COPE. 421 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,970 THE COLUMBINE SHOOTINGS? MANY TIMES HE DISCUSSED TRAGIC CURRENT EVENTS. 422 00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:19,639 SO YOU'RE FIRING HIM 423 00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:21,474 FOR DISCUSSING SERIOUS SUBJECT MATTER, 424 00:22:21,508 --> 00:22:25,211 WHEN HE'S DONE SO IN THE PAST WITH YOUR APPROVAL? THERE IS A LINE. 425 00:22:25,244 --> 00:22:26,479 TELLING OUR VIEWERS 426 00:22:26,513 --> 00:22:28,381 THE PLANET IS ABOUT TO BECOME EXTINCT CROSSES IT. 427 00:22:28,415 --> 00:22:31,651 AFTER HE TOLD THE KIDS TO ASK THEIR PARENTS 428 00:22:31,684 --> 00:22:35,688 ABOUT HYBRID CARS, THAT'S WHEN HE GOT FIRED, WASN'T IT? THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HYBRID-- 429 00:22:35,722 --> 00:22:38,190 WKNW IS OWNED BY AN OIL AND GAS COMPANY. 430 00:22:38,224 --> 00:22:40,760 NOTHING TO DO WITH OUR PARENT COMPANY. 431 00:22:40,793 --> 00:22:43,830 HE WASN'T FUNNY. WE NEEDED A FUNNY CLOWN. 432 00:22:43,863 --> 00:22:46,599 *** 433 00:22:57,744 --> 00:22:59,111 HOW'S IT GOING? 434 00:22:59,145 --> 00:23:01,614 I'M SITTING HERE TRYING 435 00:23:01,648 --> 00:23:04,183 TO COME UP WITH A CLOSING TO DEFEND BESTIALITY. 436 00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:06,385 THAT'S HOW IT'S GOING. 437 00:23:06,419 --> 00:23:08,888 YOU DON'T HAVE TO DEFEND IT SO MUCH AS... 438 00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:10,389 WHAT'S THIS? 439 00:23:10,423 --> 00:23:12,124 RESEARCH. 440 00:23:12,158 --> 00:23:16,062 DO YOU REALIZE THAT STUDIES SHOW 10 TO 30% 441 00:23:16,095 --> 00:23:18,598 OF SEXUALLY ACTIVE ADULTS HAVE FANTASIZED 442 00:23:18,631 --> 00:23:22,469 OR HAD SOME FORM OF ENCOUNTER WITH AN ANIMAL? 443 00:23:22,502 --> 00:23:24,637 DENISE, I... 444 00:23:27,306 --> 00:23:28,641 ARE WE READY? 445 00:23:28,675 --> 00:23:30,142 ALL SET. 446 00:23:31,444 --> 00:23:34,046 YOU DON'T HAVE TO TREAT ME LIKE A LEPER, SHIRLEY. 447 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:35,748 I DON'T HAVE A DISEASE. 448 00:23:35,782 --> 00:23:38,417 DWIGHT, YOU'RE-- YOU'RE MY FRIEND, 449 00:23:38,451 --> 00:23:40,987 AND I WILL TRY TO STAND BY YOU THROUGH THIS. 450 00:23:41,020 --> 00:23:44,991 BUT LET'S NOT PRETEND YOU DON'T HAVE A SERIOUS ILLNESS. 451 00:23:45,024 --> 00:23:47,126 THERE ARE WORSE THINGS THAN LOVING AN ANIMAL. 452 00:23:47,159 --> 00:23:49,295 REALLY? NAME THREE. 453 00:23:49,328 --> 00:23:52,765 YOU KNOW, I WAS NEVER GOING TO TELL YOU THIS. 454 00:23:52,799 --> 00:23:55,502 WHEN YOU WERE 13, AND YOUR PARENTS SENT BUMPY AWAY, 455 00:23:55,535 --> 00:23:58,605 IT WASN'T TO SOME GREENER PASTURE WHERE HE'D BE HAPPIER 456 00:23:58,638 --> 00:24:00,172 LIKE THEY TOLD YOU. 457 00:24:00,206 --> 00:24:02,642 BUMPY WENT TO A SLAUGHTERHOUSE. 458 00:24:02,675 --> 00:24:05,778 AND THEN HE RETURNED... TO YOUR FREEZER. 459 00:24:05,812 --> 00:24:07,113 YOU ATE HIM, SHIRLEY. 460 00:24:07,146 --> 00:24:10,316 SO DON'T GET SO HIGH AND MIGHTY WITH ME. 461 00:24:10,349 --> 00:24:13,019 YOU ATE YOUR PRECIOUS BUMPY! 462 00:24:25,164 --> 00:24:28,000 WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO CLOSE? 463 00:24:28,034 --> 00:24:30,136 WHY SHOULD I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING ELSE? 464 00:24:30,169 --> 00:24:33,506 EXACTLY. YOU'VE GOT A CONNECTION GOING THAT... 465 00:24:33,540 --> 00:24:36,142 I LACK. 466 00:24:36,175 --> 00:24:38,277 WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF CLOWNS? 467 00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:41,714 REALLY. 468 00:24:41,748 --> 00:24:44,984 BECAUSE... THEY'RE EVIL. 469 00:24:46,418 --> 00:24:50,790 AND IT SIMPLY ISN'T RIGHT FOR PARENTS 470 00:24:50,823 --> 00:24:54,126 TO TELL THEIR CHILDREN TO JUST... 471 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,162 TRUST THEM SO. 472 00:24:58,831 --> 00:25:02,501 DID A CLOWN EVER... DO ANYTHING TO YOU? 473 00:25:02,535 --> 00:25:03,836 NO! 474 00:25:03,870 --> 00:25:07,306 THEY'RE JUST... 475 00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:08,641 EVIL. 476 00:25:08,675 --> 00:25:10,910 ALAN... 477 00:25:10,943 --> 00:25:12,545 YOU NEED TO CLOSE. 478 00:25:12,579 --> 00:25:16,015 FIRST, YOU HAVE A BETTER GRIP ON THIS WHOLE GLOBAL WARMING ISSUE, 479 00:25:16,048 --> 00:25:17,817 WHICH I TEND TO DISMISS AS... 480 00:25:17,850 --> 00:25:20,219 FUZZY MATH. 481 00:25:20,252 --> 00:25:22,254 AND SECOND, AT SOME POINT, 482 00:25:22,288 --> 00:25:24,691 EVERY MAN-- EVEN THE HALF-EVOLVED KIND-- 483 00:25:24,724 --> 00:25:26,893 NEEDS TO CONFRONT HIS FEARS. 484 00:25:26,926 --> 00:25:30,763 YOU NEED TO STAND UP AND DELIVER THIS CLOSING. 485 00:25:30,797 --> 00:25:34,033 WILL THE CLOWN BE THERE? 486 00:25:34,066 --> 00:25:36,102 *** 487 00:25:43,075 --> 00:25:45,544 (All shouting over each other) 488 00:25:50,449 --> 00:25:53,385 ANIMAL RIGHTS ACTIVISTS ARE OBVIOUSLY VERY UPSET, 489 00:25:53,419 --> 00:25:54,787 THOUGH IT SHOULD BE NOTED 490 00:25:54,821 --> 00:25:57,423 THERE IS NO EVIDENCE THAT THE COW EVER COMPLAINED. 491 00:25:57,456 --> 00:26:00,627 YOUR CLIENT'S BEHAVIOR DOESN'T SHOCK YOU, COUNSEL? 492 00:26:00,660 --> 00:26:02,394 OF COURSE IT DOES. 493 00:26:02,428 --> 00:26:06,065 BUT SEX WITH ANIMALS? IT'S HARDLY A NEW CONCEPT. 494 00:26:06,098 --> 00:26:09,235 GREEK LITERATURE IS FULL OF IT. SO IS ART. 495 00:26:09,268 --> 00:26:11,437 CHAGALL. PICASSO. REMBRANDT. 496 00:26:11,470 --> 00:26:13,272 THEY'VE ALL DEPICTED IT. 497 00:26:13,305 --> 00:26:16,542 TO THIS DAY, MEN STILL DREAM OF MERMAIDS. 498 00:26:16,575 --> 00:26:19,045 AND WHAT WOMAN HASN'T HAD A... FRIEND 499 00:26:19,078 --> 00:26:21,681 WITH A HALF-MAN, HALF-BULL FANTASY? 500 00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:25,551 YOUR HONOR, I NEED YOU TO LISTEN. 501 00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:28,955 LOOK, IF YOU INTEND TO ROMANTICIZE THE IDEA-- 502 00:26:28,988 --> 00:26:32,291 SHAKESPEARE ALREADY DID THAT IN "A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM." 503 00:26:32,324 --> 00:26:35,127 SO DID YEATS IN HIS FAMOUS POEM "LEDA AND THE SWAN." 504 00:26:35,161 --> 00:26:39,065 "HOW CAN THESE TERRIFIED, VAGUE FINGERS 505 00:26:39,098 --> 00:26:41,768 "PUSH THE FEATHERED GLORY 506 00:26:41,801 --> 00:26:43,970 "FROM HER LOOSENED THIGHS?" 507 00:26:44,003 --> 00:26:45,504 LORD, LOVE A DUCK! 508 00:26:45,537 --> 00:26:48,741 SO DID LEDA. AND WHO CAN FORGET KING KONG AND FAY WRAY? 509 00:26:48,775 --> 00:26:50,910 AND WHERE DID STUART LITTLE COME FROM? 510 00:26:50,943 --> 00:26:54,146 SEX WITH A COW IS OUTRAGEOUS. 511 00:26:54,180 --> 00:26:55,815 IT'S GROSS. 512 00:26:55,848 --> 00:26:59,118 AND IT'S EVERY BIT AS SHOCKING AS THE PLAINTIFF CONTENDS, 513 00:26:59,151 --> 00:27:01,153 BUT IT IS NOT GROUNDS FOR ANNULMENT. 514 00:27:01,187 --> 00:27:04,590 AND IF YOU SUDDENLY DECLARE THAT IT IS, WATCH OUT. 515 00:27:04,623 --> 00:27:07,159 BECAUSE THERE VERY WELL MAY BE MORE OF THIS OUT THERE 516 00:27:07,193 --> 00:27:09,061 THAN ANY OF US WANT TO BELIEVE. 517 00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:14,466 HE CHEATED ON HIS WIFE. 518 00:27:14,500 --> 00:27:18,637 SHE'S ENTITLED TO A DIVORCE. BUT BESTIALITY IS NOT, 519 00:27:18,671 --> 00:27:20,840 AND NEVER HAS BEEN, GROUNDS FOR ANNULMENT. 520 00:27:20,873 --> 00:27:23,542 AND BY THE WAY, IN SOME STATES 521 00:27:23,575 --> 00:27:25,878 IT'S NOT EVEN EXPRESSLY OUTLAWED. 522 00:27:25,912 --> 00:27:32,384 OF COURSE, SHE'S HUMILIATED AND FEELING DISGRACED. 523 00:27:32,418 --> 00:27:35,121 BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT 524 00:27:35,154 --> 00:27:36,889 THEY HAD A MARRIAGE. 525 00:27:47,934 --> 00:27:50,502 *** 526 00:27:54,340 --> 00:27:56,375 NONE OF THIS IS TO SAY WE BELIEVE 527 00:27:56,408 --> 00:27:58,344 IN MR. CRANE'S INNOCENCE. WE DON'T. 528 00:27:58,377 --> 00:28:00,579 BUT WE HAVE TO FACE THE REALITY 529 00:28:00,612 --> 00:28:03,415 WE LACK A GOOD FAITH BELIEF OF SECURING A CONVICTION. 530 00:28:03,449 --> 00:28:06,819 WE'RE THEREFORE DECLINING TO MAKE AN ARREST AT THIS TIME. 531 00:28:06,853 --> 00:28:09,822 PERSONALLY, I AM DISGUSTED BY HIS CONDUCT, 532 00:28:09,856 --> 00:28:12,892 AND I WILL REPORT HIS ACTIONS TO THE BOARD OF BAR OVERSEERS. 533 00:28:12,925 --> 00:28:15,594 THE PUTZ. 534 00:28:15,627 --> 00:28:17,496 YOU OUGHT TO BE HAPPY. 535 00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:20,432 I'M NOT HAPPY. HE INSULTED ME ON LIVE TELEVISION. 536 00:28:20,466 --> 00:28:22,701 YOU DODGED A BULLET, DENNY. 537 00:28:22,735 --> 00:28:24,737 AND TOOK ONE RIGHT IN THE ASS. THE PUTZ! 538 00:28:27,273 --> 00:28:30,209 HE HAD INCORPORATED MANY SERIOUS SUBJECTS INTO HIS PROGRAMS, 539 00:28:30,242 --> 00:28:31,610 ALL WITH THE STATION'S APPROVAL. 540 00:28:31,643 --> 00:28:34,446 BUT WHEN HE MOVED ON TO GLOBAL WARMING, 541 00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:38,250 CARBON DIOXIDE POLLUTION, HE SUDDENLY HAD TO BE STOPPED? 542 00:28:38,284 --> 00:28:41,888 BECAUSE HE WAS SUDDENLY LESS FUNNY? NO. 543 00:28:41,921 --> 00:28:45,557 BECAUSE THE STATION WAS OWNED BY GLOBOCO OIL. 544 00:28:45,591 --> 00:28:47,526 THIS DISCHARGE WAS WRONGFUL. 545 00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:49,461 IT WAS IN BAD FAITH. 546 00:28:49,495 --> 00:28:53,900 MY CLIENT HAS BUILT THIS COMPANY'S FORTUNES 547 00:28:53,933 --> 00:28:56,869 FOR 13 YEARS BEING ZOZO. IT IS HIS LIVELIHOOD. 548 00:28:56,903 --> 00:29:00,039 HE'S PERHAPS THE MOST POPULAR CLOWN IN THIS COUNTRY. 549 00:29:00,072 --> 00:29:03,209 AND THIS COURT SHOULD ISSUE A T.R.O. 550 00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:05,611 TO STOP THIS OUTRAGEOUS TRAVESTY OF JUSTICE. 551 00:29:10,649 --> 00:29:12,518 (leg kicks) 552 00:29:31,270 --> 00:29:34,173 I COULD BE WRONG, 553 00:29:34,206 --> 00:29:38,010 BUT A CLOWN'S MAIN JOB IS TO BE FUNNY. 554 00:29:38,044 --> 00:29:40,612 GLOBAL WARMING IS NOT. 555 00:29:40,646 --> 00:29:44,984 YOUR HONOR, THE ARCTIC POLAR ICE CAP IS DECLINING 556 00:29:45,017 --> 00:29:47,519 AT THE RATE OF 9% PER DECADE. 557 00:29:47,553 --> 00:29:50,756 WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A RISING SEA LEVEL 558 00:29:50,789 --> 00:29:54,693 THAT COULD WIPE OUT HUGE PIECES OF THE WORLD'S LANDMASS-- 559 00:29:54,726 --> 00:29:57,429 MORE IMPORTANTLY, US-- 560 00:29:57,463 --> 00:30:01,167 MASSACHUSETTS, CALIFORNIA, OUR COASTLINES. 561 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:04,103 THAT SIMPLY ISN'T FUNNY... 562 00:30:04,136 --> 00:30:06,105 UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU LIVE IN NEVADA. 563 00:30:06,138 --> 00:30:08,040 DON'T GET ME WRONG. 564 00:30:08,074 --> 00:30:11,443 MILLIONS OF AMERICANS GO TO SLEEP AT NIGHT 565 00:30:11,477 --> 00:30:14,280 PRAYING THAT THE NATION'S NUMBER ONE CLOWN 566 00:30:14,313 --> 00:30:18,184 WILL FINALLY START CARING ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING. 567 00:30:18,217 --> 00:30:20,786 BUT THIS IS A CHILDREN'S ENTERTAINMENT SHOW. 568 00:30:20,819 --> 00:30:25,124 AND LET ME ASK YOU-- IF OUR OWN GOVERNMENT 569 00:30:25,157 --> 00:30:27,726 IS ALLOWED TO EDIT AND ALTER SCIENTIFIC FINDINGS-- 570 00:30:27,759 --> 00:30:30,196 IF IT CAN CONTROL THE INFORMATION FLOW 571 00:30:30,229 --> 00:30:31,898 ON THIS SUBJECT, 572 00:30:31,931 --> 00:30:35,467 WHY THEN SHOULDN'T A PRIVATE TELEVISION STATION 573 00:30:35,501 --> 00:30:37,836 GET TO ENJOY THAT SAME FREEDOM? 574 00:30:39,338 --> 00:30:42,308 YOU'RE A CLOWN. 575 00:30:42,341 --> 00:30:43,876 BE FUNNY. 576 00:30:46,612 --> 00:30:49,048 GLOBAL WARMING IS NOT. 577 00:31:19,811 --> 00:31:22,248 *** 578 00:31:24,150 --> 00:31:26,385 IN 35 YEARS, DENNY, 579 00:31:26,418 --> 00:31:29,288 I HAVE NEVER FORBIDDEN YOU TO DO ANYTHING. DON'T START NOW. 580 00:31:29,321 --> 00:31:31,390 I WILL CALL THE PARTNERS TOGETHER RIGHT NOW. 581 00:31:31,423 --> 00:31:33,059 WHAT'S GOING ON? 582 00:31:33,092 --> 00:31:36,695 HE'S GOING ON... "LARRY KING." WHAT? 583 00:31:36,728 --> 00:31:41,233 TONIGHT. HE'S CATCHING THE 7:00 SHUTTLE. DENNY, YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. 584 00:31:41,267 --> 00:31:43,769 WHY DOES EVERYBODY INSIST I CAN'T BE SERIOUS? 585 00:31:43,802 --> 00:31:47,706 THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY SLATHERED ME ON LIVE TELEVISION. 586 00:31:47,739 --> 00:31:49,441 I THINK YOU MEAN "SLANDERED." 587 00:31:49,475 --> 00:31:51,377 WELL, I'LL HAVE THE LAST WORD. 588 00:31:51,410 --> 00:31:55,281 LISTEN TO ME. THEY COULD STILL BRING CHARGES! 589 00:31:55,314 --> 00:31:58,884 IF YOU SAY SOMETHING TO INCRIMINATE YOURSELF-- GIVE ME SOME CREDIT, WILL YOU, PAUL? 590 00:31:58,917 --> 00:32:02,588 CREDIT?! YOU SHOT OUT YOUR CLIENT'S KNEECAPS! 591 00:32:02,621 --> 00:32:06,392 THE PUBLIC NEEDS TO HEAR FROM DENNY CRANE! 592 00:32:06,425 --> 00:32:08,494 TiVo ME, WILL YOU? 593 00:32:09,861 --> 00:32:11,863 *** 594 00:32:14,366 --> 00:32:17,269 PLEASE, GOD, HAVE MERCY. 595 00:32:23,442 --> 00:32:26,112 HOW COULD YOU NOT STOP HIM? WE TRIED TO STOP HIM. 596 00:32:26,145 --> 00:32:28,247 WE TRIED TO GET YOU TO STOP HIM. LARRY KING. 597 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,317 ALAN, JUDGE IS BACK WITH A RULING. LET'S GO. 598 00:32:31,350 --> 00:32:34,420 TONIGHT? COME ON. 599 00:32:34,453 --> 00:32:37,656 CAN'T YOU GO BY YOURSELF? IT'S JUST A RULING. 600 00:32:37,689 --> 00:32:39,325 YOU'RE DOING THIS. 601 00:32:47,033 --> 00:32:48,367 DISGUSTING. 602 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:51,470 REGRETTABLY, THIS FETISH WITH ANIMALS 603 00:32:51,503 --> 00:32:54,040 MAY INDEED BE MORE PREVALENT THAN WE'D LIKE TO THINK. 604 00:32:54,073 --> 00:32:56,642 AND IT'S A SLIPPERY SLOPE. 605 00:32:56,675 --> 00:32:59,311 MANY WOMEN DERIVE SEXUAL PLEASURE 606 00:32:59,345 --> 00:33:01,613 FROM RIDING ON A HORSE. SICK! 607 00:33:01,647 --> 00:33:05,117 BUT WE CAN'T JUST GO AROUND ANNULLING MARRIAGES 608 00:33:05,151 --> 00:33:07,119 EVERY TIME DEBBIE GOES FOR A CANTER. 609 00:33:07,153 --> 00:33:09,121 GROSS. 610 00:33:09,155 --> 00:33:13,325 I'M AFRAID YOUR ONLY LEGAL RECOURSE, MRS. BIDDLE, 611 00:33:13,359 --> 00:33:14,760 IS DIVORCE. 612 00:33:17,196 --> 00:33:19,231 SICK! 613 00:33:21,900 --> 00:33:24,670 WE'RE ADJOURNED. 614 00:33:28,107 --> 00:33:29,375 CONGRATULATIONS. 615 00:33:29,408 --> 00:33:31,743 THANK YOU. 616 00:33:40,186 --> 00:33:42,654 I MAY HAVE MANIFESTED MY LOVE FOR YOU 617 00:33:42,688 --> 00:33:45,824 IN WAYS THAT BROUGHT YOU SHAME, PERHAPS REVULSION, 618 00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:47,426 BUT I DO LOVE YOU. 619 00:33:47,459 --> 00:33:51,497 AND LOVE IS HARD ENOUGH TO FIND, JEANIE, 620 00:33:51,530 --> 00:33:54,100 WITHOUT ATTACHING A LOT OF RESTRICTIONS. 621 00:33:54,133 --> 00:33:56,402 "A LOT OF RESTRICTIONS"? 622 00:33:56,435 --> 00:34:00,406 IT'S NOT LIKE I SET A LOT OF GROUND RULES. 623 00:34:00,439 --> 00:34:04,042 BUT LIMITING YOURSELF TO A SINGLE SPECIES 624 00:34:04,076 --> 00:34:05,677 IS ONE OF THEM-- 625 00:34:05,711 --> 00:34:07,346 OUR SPECIES, DWIGHT. 626 00:34:07,379 --> 00:34:08,880 I BROKE IT OFF. 627 00:34:08,914 --> 00:34:10,416 I'M GONNA GET RID OF HER. 628 00:34:10,449 --> 00:34:13,185 I THINK I'D LIKE TO SELL THE WHOLE FARM, 629 00:34:13,219 --> 00:34:16,455 MOVE TO THE CITY-- OUTSIDE OF ALL TEMPTATION. 630 00:34:16,488 --> 00:34:18,124 YOU BROKE IT OFF? 631 00:34:18,157 --> 00:34:19,591 YES. 632 00:34:19,625 --> 00:34:22,794 YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO SEE HER AGAIN? 633 00:34:22,828 --> 00:34:24,896 I PROMISE. 634 00:34:24,930 --> 00:34:28,267 (The Beach Boys' "Wendy" playing) 635 00:34:34,940 --> 00:34:39,811 * WENDY, WENDY, WHAT WENT WRONG? * 636 00:34:39,845 --> 00:34:42,080 * OH, SO WRONG 637 00:34:42,114 --> 00:34:48,454 * WE WENT TOGETHER FOR SO LONG * 638 00:34:48,487 --> 00:34:50,122 WELCOME BACK TO "LARRY KING LIVE." 639 00:34:50,156 --> 00:34:53,259 AND WITH ME NOW IS DENNY CRANE, THE LEGENDARY BOSTON ATTORNEY 640 00:34:53,292 --> 00:34:57,563 WHO JUST YESTERDAY APPARENTLY OPENED FIRE ON HIS OWN CLIENT. 641 00:34:57,596 --> 00:34:59,431 IT WAS SELF-DEFENSE. 642 00:34:59,465 --> 00:35:01,500 YOU'RE KIDDING. SELF-DEFENSE? 643 00:35:01,533 --> 00:35:03,835 YOU'RE NOT REALLY ASKING PEOPLE TO BELIEVE THAT? 644 00:35:03,869 --> 00:35:05,671 LARRY, IT'S A CRIME TO SHOOT PEOPLE-- 645 00:35:05,704 --> 00:35:07,806 EVEN CHILD-RAPING, MURDERING SCHMUCKS 646 00:35:07,839 --> 00:35:10,776 LIKE MY CLIENT WAS AND STILL IS. OKAY. 647 00:35:10,809 --> 00:35:12,744 BUT CLEARLY YOU'RE NOT SAYING IF THE DEFENDANT 648 00:35:12,778 --> 00:35:15,247 IS REPUGNANT ENOUGH-- FAIR GAME--YOU'RE ENTITLED 649 00:35:15,281 --> 00:35:18,950 AS A CRIMINAL DEFENSE ATTORNEY TO SHOOT SOMEONE? NO, NO, NO. 650 00:35:18,984 --> 00:35:20,952 COME ON. SELF--SELF-DEFENSE. 651 00:35:20,986 --> 00:35:22,688 BUT EVEN IF I DID 652 00:35:22,721 --> 00:35:25,291 SIMPLY CHOOSE TO SHOOT HIM, 653 00:35:25,324 --> 00:35:27,193 WHICH I DIDN'T, BECAUSE IT'S AGAINST THE LAW, 654 00:35:27,226 --> 00:35:28,627 SO WHAT? 655 00:35:28,660 --> 00:35:30,362 "SO WHAT"? 656 00:35:30,396 --> 00:35:32,631 LARRY, YOU KNOW WHAT THE REAL PROBLEM IS? 657 00:35:32,664 --> 00:35:34,800 TOO MANY CRIMINALS GET AWAY WITH IT. 658 00:35:34,833 --> 00:35:36,535 WE GOT HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS 659 00:35:36,568 --> 00:35:38,670 OF UNSOLVED MURDERS IN THIS COUNTRY. 660 00:35:38,704 --> 00:35:41,440 SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS IT'S OKAY FOR DEFENSE LAWYERS 661 00:35:41,473 --> 00:35:43,442 TO TAKE THE LAW INTO THEIR OWN HANDS. 662 00:35:43,475 --> 00:35:45,311 NO! COME ON. 663 00:35:45,344 --> 00:35:47,112 YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN 664 00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:50,549 WITH THIS CHILD RAPIST MURDERING SCUM? 665 00:35:50,582 --> 00:35:51,717 ASHCROFT. 666 00:35:51,750 --> 00:35:54,453 GOD BLESS HIM, HE'S GOING TO SWOOP IN, 667 00:35:54,486 --> 00:35:56,955 AND HE'S GOING TO TRANSFER THIS CASE TO THE FEDERAL COURT 668 00:35:56,988 --> 00:35:58,790 SO WE CAN IMPOSE THE DEATH PENALTY. 669 00:35:58,824 --> 00:36:01,327 DENNY, ASHCROFT IS NO LONGER THE ATTORNEY GENERAL. 670 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:05,130 WELL, WHATEVER. THE SPANISH GUY. 671 00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:07,466 EVEN BETTER. 672 00:36:07,499 --> 00:36:10,001 MY CLIENT'S GOING TO GET THE DEATH PENALTY, 673 00:36:10,035 --> 00:36:12,037 BAD KNEES AND ALL, 'CAUSE HE DESERVES IT. 674 00:36:12,070 --> 00:36:14,873 AND ALL THE BLEEDING LIBERALS AND ALL OF HOLLYWOOD 675 00:36:14,906 --> 00:36:18,644 WILL COME RUNNING TO DEFEND HIM, MAKE HIM A CAUSE CéLèBRE. 676 00:36:18,677 --> 00:36:23,649 BUT WHO'S CRYING FOR THE 13-YEAR-OLD GIRL? 677 00:36:23,682 --> 00:36:27,152 THE PROBLEM WITH THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM 678 00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,020 IS THAT THE CRIMINALS HAVE MORE RIGHTS-- 679 00:36:29,054 --> 00:36:31,923 THEY HAVE MORE ATTENTION, THEY GET MORE SYMPATHY-- 680 00:36:31,957 --> 00:36:33,592 THAN THE VICTIMS. 681 00:36:33,625 --> 00:36:36,828 IT'S DISGUSTING, LARRY. IT'S... IT'S... 682 00:36:36,862 --> 00:36:40,165 (sighs) IT'S DISGUSTING. 683 00:36:40,198 --> 00:36:41,867 LET'S GO TO THE LISTENERS. 684 00:36:41,900 --> 00:36:44,703 HEY! DONNA IN CINCINNATI, WHAT DO YOU GOT? 685 00:36:44,736 --> 00:36:47,773 *** 686 00:36:47,806 --> 00:36:50,242 AND WHILE I FIND THAT THE PETITIONER 687 00:36:50,276 --> 00:36:52,611 MAY VERY WELL HAVE A LEGITIMATE CAUSE OF ACTION, 688 00:36:52,644 --> 00:36:56,114 I DON'T FIND SUCH A SUBSTANTIAL LIKELIHOOD OF VICTORY 689 00:36:56,147 --> 00:36:59,285 THAT WOULD ALLOW ME TO ISSUE A T.R.O. 690 00:36:59,318 --> 00:37:01,387 ACCORDINGLY, I FIND FOR THE DEFENDANT. 691 00:37:01,420 --> 00:37:04,556 I WISH YOU ALL GOOD LUCK AND A SATISFACTORY RESOLUTION. 692 00:37:04,590 --> 00:37:06,191 ADJOURNED. 693 00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:08,727 (gavel bangs) OH. 694 00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:11,297 THANK YOU BOTH. THAT'S A RELIEF. WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SETTLE THIS. 695 00:37:11,330 --> 00:37:12,898 WE WILL. 696 00:37:12,931 --> 00:37:14,966 OKAY THEN. LET'S GO HOME. 697 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:16,668 ALAN. 698 00:37:20,672 --> 00:37:24,810 YOU HAVE TO DO THIS. YOU'RE 44 YEARS OLD. 699 00:37:29,681 --> 00:37:32,918 TELL HIM YOU'RE A FAN. SHAKE HIS HAND. 700 00:37:32,951 --> 00:37:35,487 WILL YOU GO WITH ME? 701 00:37:35,521 --> 00:37:37,523 RIGHT BY YOUR SIDE. 702 00:37:52,638 --> 00:37:54,272 UH... 703 00:37:54,306 --> 00:37:58,644 MR. ZOZO, I, UH... 704 00:37:58,677 --> 00:38:02,614 I JUST WANTED TO SAY... 705 00:38:02,648 --> 00:38:05,784 HOW MUCH I'VE ALWAYS ENJOYED YOUR WORK. 706 00:38:05,817 --> 00:38:07,853 THANK YOU. 707 00:38:09,355 --> 00:38:11,289 WOULD YOU LIKE TO SQUEEZE MY NOSE? 708 00:38:11,323 --> 00:38:15,293 NO, NO, NO. YOU'VE BEEN MORE THAN KIND. 709 00:38:15,327 --> 00:38:17,863 ALAN. 710 00:38:21,867 --> 00:38:24,503 WELL, PERHAPS ONE LITTLE SQUEEZE. 711 00:38:37,248 --> 00:38:39,818 (squeaks) 712 00:38:39,851 --> 00:38:40,852 (laughs) 713 00:39:02,374 --> 00:39:04,209 YOU WAITED UP FOR ME. 714 00:39:04,242 --> 00:39:06,412 AND I'VE BEEN FRANTIC. 715 00:39:06,445 --> 00:39:08,780 YOU, OUT AT ALL HOURS. 716 00:39:10,416 --> 00:39:12,751 DID YOU SEE THE SHOW? 717 00:39:12,784 --> 00:39:15,554 I DID. YOU WERE INIMITABLE. 718 00:39:18,457 --> 00:39:21,126 DENNY, WHAT POSSESSED YOU? 719 00:39:23,429 --> 00:39:25,931 EVERYBODY'S SO CONVINCED I LOST IT, 720 00:39:25,964 --> 00:39:29,868 I WAS BECOMING CONVINCED MYSELF. 721 00:39:29,901 --> 00:39:32,003 SO I DECIDED TO SAIL RIGHT INTO IT. 722 00:39:32,037 --> 00:39:34,239 AND I WAS DENNY CRANE. 723 00:39:34,272 --> 00:39:36,442 (chuckles) YES, YOU WERE. 724 00:39:37,776 --> 00:39:40,178 I SQUEEZED A CLOWN'S NOSE TONIGHT. 725 00:39:40,211 --> 00:39:41,613 GOOD FOR YOU. 726 00:39:41,647 --> 00:39:44,049 GUESS WE'RE NEVER TOO OLD TO CONQUER OUR FEARS. 727 00:39:44,082 --> 00:39:47,285 I GOT A CALL FROM THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL PARTY TONIGHT. 728 00:39:47,318 --> 00:39:50,856 THEY THINK I MIGHT HAVE A FUTURE IN POLITICS. 729 00:39:50,889 --> 00:39:53,124 THEY WANT TO PUT SOME FEELERS OUT-- 730 00:39:53,158 --> 00:39:56,394 MAYBE ME RUNNING FOR MAYOR. 731 00:39:56,428 --> 00:39:58,229 OF BOSTON? 732 00:39:58,263 --> 00:40:00,031 MM-HMM. 733 00:40:00,065 --> 00:40:03,735 WE WOULDN'T GET TO BE FLAMINGOS AGAIN. 734 00:40:03,769 --> 00:40:05,704 OF COURSE WE WOULD. 735 00:40:05,737 --> 00:40:08,273 WHAT WOULD YOU DO AS MAYOR, DENNY? REALLY? 736 00:40:08,306 --> 00:40:10,141 OH, I DON'T KNOW. 737 00:40:10,175 --> 00:40:12,143 I'D, UH... 738 00:40:12,177 --> 00:40:13,645 ATTACK RHODE ISLAND. 739 00:40:13,679 --> 00:40:16,982 IT'S SMALL. 740 00:40:17,015 --> 00:40:19,651 WHAT WAS THE WORD YOU USED 741 00:40:19,685 --> 00:40:22,287 TO DESCRIBE ME ON THE SHOW TONIGHT? 742 00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:23,622 INIMITABLE. 743 00:40:23,655 --> 00:40:26,324 THAT'S IT. THAT'S THE KIND OF MAYOR I WOULD BE-- 744 00:40:26,357 --> 00:40:27,993 INIMITABLE. 745 00:40:32,163 --> 00:40:35,300 IT'S FUN BEING ME. 746 00:40:37,135 --> 00:40:39,605 IS IT FUN BEING YOU? 747 00:40:39,638 --> 00:40:42,107 MOST OF THE TIME, YES, ACTUALLY. 748 00:40:42,140 --> 00:40:44,409 WELL, WHAT ELSE IS THERE? 749 00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:47,012 INDEED. 750 00:40:47,045 --> 00:40:50,048 *** 751 00:40:58,123 --> 00:41:01,126 Captioned by Closed Captioning Services, Inc. 752 00:41:05,897 --> 00:41:07,966 NEXT ON "BOSTON LEGAL"... NIGHT TERRORS? 753 00:41:07,999 --> 00:41:09,768 USUALLY IT'S BROUGHT ON BY DISTRESS. 754 00:41:09,801 --> 00:41:11,803 THEY CAN BE POTENTIALLY LIFE-THREATENING. 755 00:41:11,837 --> 00:41:12,971 (gasps) 756 00:41:13,004 --> 00:41:15,273 I NEED SOMEBODY TO GUARD ME AT NIGHT. 757 00:41:15,306 --> 00:41:16,875 YOU WANT TO PAY ME TO SLEEP WITH YOU. YES. 758 00:41:16,908 --> 00:41:18,109 THAT WOULD MAKE ME A HOOKER. 759 00:41:18,143 --> 00:41:19,611 MY SON HAS AN ALIBI. 760 00:41:19,645 --> 00:41:21,880 THERE'S NO EVIDENCE LINKING HIM TO THE CRIME. 761 00:41:21,913 --> 00:41:24,049 THE ONLY EYEWITNESS SUFFERS FROM ALZHEIMER'S. 762 00:41:24,082 --> 00:41:26,451 WHO IS THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES? OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR! 763 00:41:26,484 --> 00:41:29,454 THIS CASE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, DENNY. DON'T LIE TO ME. 764 00:41:29,487 --> 00:41:32,624 YOU WALK AROUND SAYING YOU HAVE MAD COW DISEASE. 765 00:41:32,658 --> 00:41:34,526 GOD FORBID PEOPLE THINK YOU HAVE ALZHEIMER'S.