1 00:00:01,069 --> 00:00:03,571 PREVIOUSLY ON "BOSTON LEGAL"... 2 00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:05,406 ROBBERY ISN'T AS BAD AS KILLING A MAN, 3 00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,175 AND YOU GOT ME OFF ON THAT. 4 00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:09,410 THERE ARE ONLY TWO GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARDS IN THE GAME, 5 00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:12,313 AND YOU'VE USED THEM BOTH UP. SAY HELLO TO GRANDPA. 6 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,415 HI, PAW-PAW. (laughs) HI. HELLO, SWEETHEART. 7 00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,484 RACHEL IS USING AGAIN. 8 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,886 I'VE DECIDED TO DO AN INTERVENTION. AND FIONA? 9 00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:21,089 I'LL ASSUME CUSTODY UNTIL RACHEL IS WELL. 10 00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:23,091 WE ALWAYS SAID WHAT A MISTAKE IT WAS 11 00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:24,925 FOR US TO GET MARRIED. 12 00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:28,262 MAYBE THE BLUNDER WAS SPLITTING UP. YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED, 13 00:00:28,296 --> 00:00:31,932 AND YOU'RE KISSING ANOTHER WOMAN. NOT JUST ANY WOMAN. I PROMISE. 14 00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:34,302 *** 15 00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:42,376 AS A CONCESSION FOR KEEPING THE COTTAGE IN CAPE MAY, 16 00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:46,247 YOU'RE WILLING TO GIVE UP THE HOUSE IN GREAT BARRINGTON. 17 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:49,383 AND THE ANTIQUE PEWTER VALUED AT OVER $70,000. 18 00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:51,619 A CONSIDERABLE GESTURE OF GOODWILL ON YOUR PART. 19 00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:54,122 HOWEVER, THERE'S SOMETHING THAT NATALIE'S DETERMINED 20 00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:56,624 TO GET HER HANDS ON, AND I SIMPLY CAN'T PERMIT IT... 21 00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,792 MY VICTORIAN EROTICA COLLECTION. 22 00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:01,028 VICT--WHAT? 23 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,963 VICTORIAN EROTICA. AS I'M SURE YOU'RE AWARE, 24 00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:04,932 MUCH LIKE TODAY, THE LATE 1800s 25 00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:06,934 WERE A SOCIALLY CONSERVATIVE TIME. 26 00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:09,270 DURING REPRESSIVE ERAS-- PORNOGRAPHY THRIVES. 27 00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:11,105 WE PREFER "EROTICA." 28 00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:13,707 SHE'S IN POSSESSION OF MY PREMIER COLLECTION 29 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,476 OF VICTORIAN EROTICA IN THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE. 30 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:18,045 I INTEND FOR IT TO BE MY LEGACY TO THE WORLD. 31 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,047 UM... 32 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,815 JUST SO I'M CLEAR HERE, 33 00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:24,152 WE'RE TALKING ABOUT LITERATURE, 34 00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:25,986 PHOTOS... AND MACHINERY. 35 00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:29,223 MACHINERY? THE VICTORIAN ERA WAS THE HEIGHT OF THE INDUSTRIAL AGE. 36 00:01:29,257 --> 00:01:31,091 WHENEVER NEW TECHNOLOGY ARRIVES, 37 00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:33,060 ITS FIRST USE IS EROTICA. 38 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,628 MUCH LIKE THE INTERNET-- 39 00:01:34,662 --> 00:01:35,963 AND INTERNET PORN. 40 00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:39,133 EROTICA. NO, THAT STUFF'S JUST PORN. 41 00:01:39,167 --> 00:01:42,470 UM, CLIFFORD, WAS ANY OF THIS EROTICA 42 00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:44,772 ACQUIRED DURING YOUR MARRIAGE? 43 00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:47,341 HMM... ALL OF IT, ACTUALLY. 44 00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:50,311 WELL, THEN LEGALLY, NATALIE IS ENTITLED 45 00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:52,480 TO A SIGNIFICANT PORTION OF THE COLLECTION. 46 00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:55,683 SHIRLEY, MY FAMILY'S MONEY AND AFFAIRS 47 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:58,919 HAS BEEN CONNECTED TO THIS FIRM SINCE YOU OPENED YOUR DOORS. 48 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,489 I WANT MY COLLECTION. 49 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:02,823 YOU'LL NEVER GET IT, CLIFFORD. 50 00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:06,327 AND YOU MUST BE NATALIE. 51 00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:08,996 SHIRL. 52 00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:10,631 IVAN? 53 00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:13,667 *** 54 00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:43,897 YOU DON'T NORMALLY PRACTICE FAMILY LAW. 55 00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:45,799 WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON A DIVORCE CASE? 56 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:49,537 PROFESSOR CABOT'S ESTATE HAS STRONG TIES TO THE FIRM. 57 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,505 HE WANTED ME. AND YOU? 58 00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:53,974 I WANTED YOU. 59 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,410 AS A MATTER OF FULL DISCLOSURE, 60 00:02:56,444 --> 00:03:00,548 MR. TIGGS AND I WERE ONCE MARRIED MANY YEARS AGO 61 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,816 AND COULD CONCEIVABLY PRESENT A CONFLICT OF INTEREST. 62 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:05,018 EITHER ONE OR BOTH OF YOU WOULD BE ADVISED 63 00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:06,820 TO REQUEST CHANGE OF COUNSEL. 64 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:10,224 I'M NOT GIVING UP MY ATTORNEY. 65 00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:12,493 MM-MMM. 66 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:15,896 NO TAKERS? GREAT. 67 00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:17,565 SHALL WE? 68 00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:20,701 *** 69 00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:28,108 *** 70 00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:30,378 YOU DON'T WANT TO TEAR APART A COLLECTION. 71 00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:32,280 THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED "A COLLECTION." 72 00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:34,448 IF YOU SPENT A LITTLE LESS TIME WITH THE COLLECTION, 73 00:03:34,482 --> 00:03:36,417 WE MIGHT NOT BE HERE DIVIDING IT UP NOW. PEOPLE! 74 00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:38,952 BEFORE YOU MET ME, YOU'D NEVER EVEN HEARD OF "THE LUSTY TURK." 75 00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:41,522 CLIFFORD-- IF NOT FOR ME, "TWO CIRCUS VIRGINS" 76 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,591 WOULD BE HANGING OVER SOMEONE ELSE'S FIREPLACE. 77 00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:46,594 NATALIE, CLIFFORD, IF NEITHER OF YOU CAN BUDGE ON THIS, 78 00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:48,429 THEN WE WILL END UP IN COURT, 79 00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:51,765 AND A JUDGE WILL DECIDE YOUR COLLECTION'S FUTURE. FINE. 80 00:03:51,799 --> 00:03:53,867 NOW WHY DON'T WE TAKE A BREAK AND SEE IF WE CAN 81 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,603 COME UP WITH A BETTER RESOLUTION TOMORROW. 82 00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:57,371 THAT'S FINE. 83 00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:58,739 I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN. 84 00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,073 I'LL CALL YOU. 85 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:01,609 OKAY. 86 00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:07,381 (chuckles) 87 00:04:07,415 --> 00:04:10,150 I THOUGHT THEY'D NEVER LEAVE. 88 00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:12,720 SO HOW IS THE MISSUS-- MISSY? 89 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:16,089 (chuckles) THE HONEYMOON WAS EXCEPTIONAL. 90 00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:17,725 GUADALUPE? 91 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,727 AN ATROCIOUSLY DULL ISLAND. 92 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,962 NOTHING TO DO BUT HAVE SEX ALL DAY AND NIGHT. 93 00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:24,332 BY THE WAY, SHIRLEY, I'M HAVING AN AFFAIR. 94 00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:26,467 HEH. IVAN, YOU DO NOT DISAPPOINT. 95 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,969 YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED FOUR WEEKS. SEEMED LIKE FIVE. 96 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,938 AND WHO ARE YOU HAVING THE AFFAIR WITH? YOU. 97 00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:34,908 WELL, SO FAR IT HASN'T BEEN VERY GOOD FOR ME. 98 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:37,978 I'M NOT SURE IF YOU FOLLOW THE MORNING NETWORK NEWS SHOWS, 99 00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:40,314 BUT I CAUGHT A COUPLE ON THE ISLAND. 100 00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:43,317 AND ACCORDING TO THE EXPERTS, ONE DOESN'T HAVE TO ACTUALLY 101 00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:46,354 HAVE A PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP TO BE CONSIDERED A CHEATER. 102 00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:47,655 NO KIDDING? 103 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:50,458 NO KIDDING. IF OUR FRIENDSHIP-- 104 00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,460 LET'S JUST CALL IT THAT-- 105 00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:54,828 IS DEEPER THAN MY PRIMARY RELATIONSHIP, 106 00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:58,932 THEN TECHNICALLY I'M EMOTIONALLY CHEATING ON MY WIFE. 107 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:01,101 THAT'S WHAT KATIE AND MATT SAY, 108 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,972 AND THEY BOTH HAVE SUCH TRUSTING FACES. BESIDES HUMOR YOU, WHAT CAN I DO? 109 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:09,643 ADMIT YOU'RE HAVING AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR WITH ME. 110 00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:12,880 CONSIDER MAKING IT PHYSICAL, SINCE, AFTER ALL, 111 00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:16,049 WE'RE ALREADY HALFWAY THERE... 112 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,719 AND LET'S CALL IT A DAY. 113 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:21,722 I HAVE A BETTER IDEA, AND I'M SURE IT'S SOMETHING 114 00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:24,124 KATIE AND MATT CAME UP WITH AS WELL. 115 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,794 GO HOME TO YOUR WIFE, IVAN. 116 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,962 ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME? 117 00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:32,199 GO HOME TO YOUR WIFE. 118 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,210 SHIRLEY, YOU KNOW I DON'T PLAY FAIR. 119 00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:46,480 THAT'S ONE OF THE MANY REASONS YOU LOVE ME. 120 00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:49,517 *** 121 00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,671 DID YOU PACK MY JEAN NATé? 122 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,740 YES, I PACKED YOUR JEAN NATé. 123 00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,508 WHAT ABOUT MY NIGHTTIME EYE PATCHES? 124 00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:17,645 I CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT MY NIGHTTIME EYE PATCHES. 125 00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:26,854 EVENING, ADELE. STEP ON IT! 126 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,990 *** 127 00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:34,294 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WAIT. 128 00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:36,029 MRS. PIPER! 129 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,599 I HAVE WARNED YOU BEFORE ABOUT THIS. 130 00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:40,434 YOU LEAVE ME NO OTHER CHOICE. 131 00:06:40,468 --> 00:06:43,270 CALL BOSTON P.D. I WANT HER ARRESTED FOR KIDNAPPING. 132 00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:47,441 OH, BEFORE YOU DO THAT, DEAR, COULD YOU DO ONE THING? 133 00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:48,442 WHAT? 134 00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:50,878 CALL ALAN SHORE. 135 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,380 HE'S IN THE BOOK. 136 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,716 WHY DID YOU TRY TO KIDNAP THIS WOMAN? 137 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,952 SHE WASN'T KIDNAPPING ME. SHE WAS HELPING ME ESCAPE. 138 00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:00,788 OH, COME ON. ALAN... 139 00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,823 A CRIME IS BEING COMMITTED HERE. 140 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,625 ADELE IS BEING HELD PRISONER. 141 00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,494 GO ON. 142 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:09,730 ADELE'S BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION. 143 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:13,166 HER SON DIED RECENTLY, AND IT REALLY DEVASTATED HER. 144 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:16,570 LAST WEEK, THEY TOOK HER OUT OF THE HOSPITAL, 145 00:07:16,604 --> 00:07:18,071 AND THEY BROUGHT HER HERE 146 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,940 TO THIS SO-CALLED "ASSISTED LIVING CENTER." 147 00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:22,776 THEY PUT HER ON ANTIDEPRESSANTS. 148 00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:24,277 SHE STARTED FEELING BETTER, 149 00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,079 AND SHE ASKED WHEN SHE COULD GO HOME. 150 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,581 THAT'S WHEN SHE FOUND OUT 151 00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:28,982 THE COURT HAD ASSIGNED A CONSERVATOR 152 00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:31,585 TO BE IN CHARGE OF HER ESTATE-- 153 00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:34,588 DONALD WHARTON--A MAN SHE'D NEVER EVEN HEARD OF. 154 00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:37,124 HE HAS MY POWER OF ATTORNEY. 155 00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:39,993 HE HAS CONTROL OF MY BANK ACCOUNTS, 156 00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:41,695 OF MY PROPERTY. 157 00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:43,163 HE--HE'S SELLING OFF MY ASSETS. 158 00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:45,165 AND HE IS SPENDING ALL OF MY MONEY 159 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,700 WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. 160 00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:49,002 ADELE... 161 00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:52,005 DO YOU HAVE... ANY FAMILY? 162 00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:55,442 NOT SINCE MY SON PASSED AWAY. 163 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,177 CATHERINE... 164 00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,613 IF YOU KNEW THIS INJUSTICE WAS BEING DONE TO ADELE, 165 00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:01,148 WHY DIDN'T YOU SIMPLY CALL ME 166 00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:03,050 BEFORE YOU ATTEMPTED TO KIDNAP HER? 167 00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:05,052 WELL, DEAR, YOU'D HELPED ME OUT 168 00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:07,721 ON THOSE TWO CONVENIENCE STORE ROBBERIES, 169 00:08:07,755 --> 00:08:09,957 NOT TO MENTION THE MURDER. 170 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,626 I DIDN'T WANT TO THINK I WAS BECOMING A BOTHER. 171 00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:15,829 *** 172 00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:21,468 SO... ONE HAS ONLY TO FILL OUT A FEW FORMS, 173 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,904 AND IS THEN FULLY LICENSED BY THE STATE? 174 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,405 IT'S THAT EASY. 175 00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:27,407 NOW MANY CONSERVATORS ARE PERFECTLY QUALIFIED, 176 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,578 BUT THE LESSER ONES ARE AKIN TO THE JACKAL. (microwave beeps) 177 00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,079 THEY SNIFF AROUND HOSPITAL CORRIDORS, 178 00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:35,649 HUNTING FOR SENIOR CITIZENS WITH NO FAMILY TIES. 179 00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:37,651 WHEN THEY CORNER ONE, THE CONSERVATOR GOES 180 00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:39,720 BEFORE A JUDGE WITH AN EMERGENCY MOTION, 181 00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:41,755 THE JUDGE, OVERBURDENED WITH CASELOADS, 182 00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:43,757 QUICKLY GRANTS THEM A POWER OF ATTORNEY, 183 00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:45,759 AND SUDDENLY, THEY SINK THEIR TEETH INTO THAT SENIOR'S LIFE. 184 00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:46,994 THEY SEIZE THEIR ASSETS, 185 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,162 STRIP AWAY ALL THEIR DECISION-MAKING POWERS, 186 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,932 THEN RUN UP CHARGES, FEEDING OFF THE ESTATES 187 00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:55,769 UNTIL THE BONES HAVE BEEN PICKED CLEAN. 188 00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:58,505 WOW. AREN'T PEOPLE GRAND? 189 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,340 ALAN, WHAT ARE YOU EATING? 190 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,109 JAMAICAN ACKEE. 191 00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:04,377 IT TASTES LIKE SCRAMBLED EGGS IF YOU COOK IT. 192 00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:07,014 NO, THANKS. 193 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,249 HOW DO YOU WANT TO PROCEED WITH ADELE'S CONSERVATOR? 194 00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:10,751 MR. WHARTON? 195 00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:14,588 A VISIT TO HIS DEN WOULD BE A GOOD START. 196 00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:17,024 HMM, WHY NOT? 197 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,259 AVOID THE PINK PARTS. 198 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,428 THEY'VE BEEN KNOWN TO CAUSE VOMITING OR DEATH. 199 00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:24,965 *** 200 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,773 THE FIRST THING WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT 201 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:35,275 IS PAUL LEWISTON. WELL, LET'S WAIT UNTIL HE GETS HERE. 202 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,277 WELL, THAT'S THE POINT. HE'S NOT GETTING HERE. 203 00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:39,279 HIS SCHEDULE'S BEEN A BIT SHAKY 204 00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:41,381 SINCE HE'S TAKEN CUSTODY OF HIS GRANDDAUGHTER. GRANDDAUGHTER? 205 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,150 FIONA, HIS DAUGHTER RACHEL'S IN-- 206 00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,384 OH, RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT. THE DRUGGIE. 207 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,886 SHE'S NOT A DRUGGIE. 208 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:48,388 SHE HAS AN ADDICTION FOR WHICH SHE'S RECEIVING TREATMENT. 209 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,824 WE DON'T NEED PAUL. THE HELL WITH IT. 210 00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:52,826 I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS. WHAT'S ON HIS PLATE? 211 00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:54,828 UH, TO START WITH, PAUL HAS FINAL INTERVIEWS 212 00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:56,797 FOR SUMMER ASSOCIATE CANDIDATES. 213 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,899 BORING. NEXT. 214 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,734 UH, IT'S ALMOST THE FIRST OF THE MONTH. 215 00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:02,502 SOMEONE NEEDS TO MEET WITH THE BUILDING MANAGER. 216 00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:04,905 I'LL TAKE THAT. AND SAM WOLFSON 217 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,339 WANTED SOME TIME THIS WEEK. 218 00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:09,342 OH, SAM AND I GO WAY BACK. I'LL COVER SAM. 219 00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:11,845 WELL, FOLKS, THERE YOU ARE. YOU SEE? PROBLEM SOLVED. 220 00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:15,182 DENNY CRANE-- HANDS-ON MANAGEMENT. 221 00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:22,522 WHERE'S PAUL? OH, DEAR GOD. 222 00:10:24,692 --> 00:10:26,660 MY ABSENCE AT THIS MORNING'S PARTNERSHIP MEETING 223 00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:27,995 WAS UNAVOIDABLE. 224 00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:29,997 I HAD TO TAKE FIONA TO THE PEDIATRICIAN. 225 00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:31,832 PERFECTLY UNDERSTANDABLE, PAUL. 226 00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:35,002 WE'RE JUST CURIOUS WHEN YOU'LL BE RETURNING TO WORK FULL-TIME. 227 00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:40,040 SHIRLEY, I HAVE RECENTLY BECOME THE SINGLE PARENT 228 00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:43,010 TO A 3-YEAR-OLD CHILD WHO HAS NO ONE BUT ME TO DEPEND ON. 229 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:45,478 PAUL, I KNOW IT'S HARD. 230 00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:48,148 NO, IT'S NOT ABOUT BEING HARD. 231 00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,150 IT'S THAT MY PRIORITIES ARE DIFFERENT NOW. 232 00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:54,888 AND SUDDENLY, THIS FIRM DOESN'T SEEM SO IMPORTANT. 233 00:10:54,922 --> 00:10:56,790 DENNY CRANE-- MASTER OF THE HOUSE. 234 00:10:56,824 --> 00:11:00,127 HELLO, DENNY. HOW ARE THINGS? COULDN'T BE BETTER. 235 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,796 PAUL, I HEARD ABOUT YOUR DRUGGIE DAUGHTER. 236 00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,798 I'VE GOT THINGS UNDER CONTROL NOW. 237 00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:07,634 WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THE TIME YOU NEED? 238 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,369 THANK YOU. I INTEND TO. 239 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:10,904 SHIRLEY. 240 00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:15,142 "DRUGGIE DAUGHTER"? 241 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,977 WHAT? 242 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,979 WE COVERED THE INCREASED SECURITY AT THE FRONT DESK, 243 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,981 AND YOU'RE GOING TO REPAIR THE WATER DAMAGE 244 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,883 ON THE 14th FLOOR. 245 00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:25,385 DA. I TAKE CARE OF FRIDAY IF GOOD. 246 00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:27,187 VERY GOOD. 247 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,022 THAT WENT SMOOTHLY. 248 00:11:29,056 --> 00:11:31,524 SO I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU NEXT MONTH. 249 00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:33,460 SO... 250 00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:42,269 I'M FORGETTING SOMETHING. 251 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:43,270 YEAH. 252 00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:44,772 RIGHT. HERE'S THE THING-- 253 00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:47,274 I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS I'M FORGETTING. 254 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:48,909 E-ENVELOPE. 255 00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,784 ARE YOU ASKING ME FOR A BRIBE? 256 00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,451 NO! NO, NO, NO, NO. 257 00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:24,644 CRETINS. 258 00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:31,819 *** 259 00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:36,623 SO... 260 00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:39,226 ARE YOU GONNA TELL ME? 261 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,795 YES, YOU'RE ZIPPED. 262 00:12:41,829 --> 00:12:43,897 THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. 263 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:46,333 DENNY, DO YOU MIND? SHIRLEY, YOU'RE MY GIRL. 264 00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,802 I RARELY LOOK AT PEOPLE'S FACES OTHER THAN MY OWN, 265 00:12:48,836 --> 00:12:52,105 BUT YOUR PALLOR WAS TELLING ME SOMETHING. 266 00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:54,774 MAN TROUBLE? 267 00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:59,012 IT'S IVAN. 268 00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:01,448 HE WON'T STOP UNTIL HE GETS WHAT HE WANTS. 269 00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:03,450 RIGHT NOW WHAT HE WANTS IS ME, 270 00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:07,154 AND... FOR ONCE, I DON'T TRUST MYSELF WITH HIM. 271 00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:11,358 SO... WHY NOT HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH HIM AND GET IT OVER WITH? 272 00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,126 AND WHAT ABOUT HIS SWEET, YOUNG WIFE? 273 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,695 NOT TO MENTION MY OWN MORALS. 274 00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:17,197 (chuckles) MORALS. 275 00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:18,698 INVENTED BY THE POWER ELITE 276 00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:21,801 TO KEEP THE HOI POLLOI FROM ENJOYING THEMSELVES. 277 00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,136 AS FOR THE WIFE, 278 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:25,138 EITHER SHE WON'T FIND OUT AND YOU'LL BE FINE, 279 00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:26,974 OR SHE WILL AND SHE'LL LEARN. 280 00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:29,276 IF HE'S GONNA HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH SOMEONE, 281 00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,378 WHY NOT BE PART OF THE FUN? 282 00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:34,681 MAYBE YOU SHOULD WRITE FORTUNE COOKIES. 283 00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:37,784 AND MAYBE YOU... 284 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:41,621 SHOULD FANTASIZE ABOUT HIM WITH SOMEONE ELSE. 285 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,190 GOOD-BYE, DENNY. 286 00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:45,492 WAS THAT TOO SUBTLE? I MEANT ME. 287 00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:48,628 *** 288 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:57,670 *** 289 00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:04,577 WAIT OUT HERE, ADELE. I'LL JUST BE A MINUTE. 290 00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:08,415 CATHERINE, TO WHAT DO I OWE THIS PLEASANT SURPRISE? 291 00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:10,383 I HEARD YOU WERE GOING TO SEE WHARTON TODAY. 292 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:11,885 I'M ON MY WAY. 293 00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:13,153 I JUST WANT TO WARN YOU, 294 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,755 DON'T BE FOOLED BY HIS SILLY, CHERUBIC FACE. 295 00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:17,724 I MEAN, HE FOOLS JUDGES, 296 00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:19,993 HE FOOLS HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATORS-- 297 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,995 ANYONE HE NEEDS TO SO HE CAN GET HIS HANDS 298 00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:24,264 ON FOLK LIKE ADELE AND HER POCKETBOOK. 299 00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:25,899 HE'S A BAD MAN, ALAN. 300 00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:27,935 I'M HARDLY EVER FOOLED. OH, COME ON. 301 00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:30,938 THE FIRST TIME YOU MET ME, I'M SURE YOU HAD NO IDEA 302 00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,940 I'D BE CAPABLE OF KILLING A MAN 303 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,441 WITH A FRYING PAN. 304 00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:37,110 CATHERINE, WHEN I MET YOU, I WAS SURE YOU COULD ACCOMPLISH 305 00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:39,579 ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO, AND YOU'VE YET TO DISAPPOINT. 306 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:41,081 JUST SO YOU KNOW, 307 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:43,083 I'VE ASKED JESUS NOT TO FORGIVE HIM. 308 00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:45,752 I THINK ADELE HAS A VERY GOOD FRIEND. 309 00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,754 OH. ADELE AND I ARE OLD. 310 00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:50,023 IF WE DON'T STICK UP FOR EACH OTHER, WHO WILL? 311 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,925 HELLO, ADELE. 312 00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:54,928 CLIFFORD, REGARDING THE COLLECTION-- 313 00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:57,730 WHEN ONE IS FACED WITH A DAUNTING LOSS, 314 00:14:57,764 --> 00:15:00,968 ONE TRIES TO HOLD TIGHTLY TO SOMETHING TANGIBLE. 315 00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:03,636 AS YOUR ATTORNEY AND AS SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN THERE, 316 00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:05,638 DIVORCE CAN PLAY SOME VERY NASTY TRICKS 317 00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:07,140 ON YOUR PSYCHE. 318 00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:09,142 SO YOU'RE ASKING, IS IT CONCEIVABLE 319 00:15:09,176 --> 00:15:11,278 I CAN'T LET NATALIE GO? 320 00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:14,114 I'M PUTTING IT OUT THERE AS A POSSIBILITY. 321 00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:16,283 GIVEN THE FACT SHE'D RATHER SPEND MORE TIME 322 00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,718 CHAIRING THE WOMEN'S STUDIES DEPARTMENT 323 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,153 THAN BE WITH ME, 324 00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:22,155 AND THAT SHE'S THE ONE THAT ASKED FOR THE DIVORCE? 325 00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:24,257 SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 326 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:25,825 THE ANSWER IS STILL NO. 327 00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:28,061 SHIRLEY, THIS IS MY VISION. 328 00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:30,130 IT'S NOT JUST SOME COLLECTION OF SMUT. 329 00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:32,132 IT'S AN ACTUAL WINDOW INTO OUR HISTORY, 330 00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,933 A LOOK AT HOW WE PERCEIVE OURSELVES 331 00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:35,435 AND OUR SOCIETY 332 00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:37,937 THROUGH A LENS OF OUR MOST PRIMARY URGES. 333 00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:40,307 I EVEN HAD THIS ARTIST'S RENDERING DONE 334 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,475 FOR A MUSEUM I'D LIKE TO START. 335 00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:48,748 "PROFESSOR CLIFFORD CABOT'S CABINET OF SEXUAL CURIOSITIES." 336 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:51,084 NOW THAT'S JUST TO GET THEM IN THE DOOR. 337 00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:53,753 (chuckles) I'M BEGINNING TO GET THE IDEA. 338 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,989 AND I THINK A JUDGE MIGHT AS WELL, 339 00:15:56,023 --> 00:15:57,124 HOWEVER... 340 00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:59,993 I STILL FEEL IF YOU DON'T GIVE A LITTLE, 341 00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:03,363 YOU'LL STAND TO LOSE A LOT. 342 00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:07,434 SORRY ABOUT THE MESS. IT'S BEEN BUSY LATELY. 343 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,935 I CAN IMAGINE. (indistinct talking on TV) 344 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,438 OH, LOOK, DENISE. 345 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:14,007 WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU SAW A TV TRAY? 346 00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:17,044 SUDDENLY I FEEL LIKE WATCHING "BONANZA." 347 00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:19,279 SO YOU WANTED TO TALK ABOUT ADELE? 348 00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:22,449 YES, ADELE TELLS US THAT YOU HAVE MOVED HER INTO 349 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,117 AN ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY 350 00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,618 AND ARE SELLING OFF HER ASSETS. 351 00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:27,620 WELL, IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO PAY FOR THE PLACE. 352 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,122 THEY'RE SO DAMN EXPENSIVE. 353 00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:30,623 SOMEONE SHOULD LOOK INTO THAT. 354 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,959 AN ALTERNATIVE WOULD BE TO TAKE HER OUT OF THE FACILITY 355 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,561 AND MOVE HER BACK HOME. 356 00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:35,862 JUST A THOUGHT. 357 00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:38,531 OH, I KNOW ADELE DOES NOT WANT TO BE THERE. 358 00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:40,567 SHE'S FIGHTING ME ON THAT ONE. 359 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:41,568 HMM. 360 00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:43,703 MR. WHARTON, WE'VE MET WITH ADELE. 361 00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:45,905 AND WHILE SHE MAY HAVE HAD TROUBLE 362 00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:47,907 WHEN SHE FIRST ARRIVED AT THE HOSPITAL, 363 00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,409 SHE HAS SINCE RECOVERED 364 00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:52,079 AND IS READY TO MOVE ON WITH HER LIFE. 365 00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:53,713 AND AS HER ATTORNEYS, 366 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:56,349 WE'D LIKE TO HELP YOU MOVE ON WITH CERTAIN THINGS AS WELL. 367 00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:58,418 WE'VE GOTTEN RID OF THE TROUBLE OF COURT NONSENSE-- 368 00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:00,853 NOTARY PUBLIC, STANDING IN LINE AT THE POST OFFICE-- 369 00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:03,022 YOU HAVE ONLY TO SIGN THIS RELEASE, 370 00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:05,825 AND WE WILL RELIEVE YOU OF ONE OF THE BURDENS 371 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,328 OF YOUR ALREADY OVERBURDENED WORKLOAD. 372 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:11,098 (snickers) SHE GOT TO YOU, DIDN'T SHE? 373 00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:12,832 I BEG YOUR PARDON? ADELE. 374 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,102 SHE'S VERY GOOD WITH STRANGERS. 375 00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,603 ADELE HAS CLINICAL DEPRESSION. 376 00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:18,605 YOU PROBABLY SAW HER ON A GOOD DAY. 377 00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:20,107 SHE HAS BOUTS OF FORGETFULNESS, 378 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:21,708 POOR JUDGMENT, 379 00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:23,210 DIFFICULTY CONCENTRATING. 380 00:17:23,243 --> 00:17:25,778 IF I WERE TO LET HER GO, 381 00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:27,780 AS AN APPOINTEE OF THE COURT, 382 00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:29,282 AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, 383 00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:32,285 AS ONE OF THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO CARES ABOUT HER, 384 00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:35,288 I WOULD BE COMPLETELY REMISS. 385 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:41,528 MR. WHARTON, WHAT COLOR ARE ADELE'S EYES? 386 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:44,097 UH, BLUE. 387 00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:46,933 THEY'RE BROWN. 388 00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:49,869 WHAT WAS HER SON'S NAME? 389 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,804 JONATHAN. 390 00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:54,741 MR. WHARTON, AS SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT ADELE 391 00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:57,644 AND IS SUPPOSED TO BE CARING FOR ADELE, 392 00:17:57,677 --> 00:18:00,547 YOU SEEM TO BE VERY FORGETFUL YOURSELF. 393 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:03,516 PLEASE DON'T FORGET YOUR COURT DATE. 394 00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:17,164 *** 395 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,436 (pants) 396 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:24,437 DENNY. 397 00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:26,239 (groans) 398 00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:27,607 (pants) 399 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,442 YOU'RE PANTING. 400 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:30,777 YES. 401 00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:31,978 BECAUSE OF ME? 402 00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:33,780 BECAUSE OF YOU. 403 00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:35,848 LOCK THE DOOR. 404 00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:37,684 BECAUSE OF YOU... 405 00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:40,487 PAUL DIDN'T KEEP HIS MEETING WITH THE BUILDING MANAGER 406 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:41,988 AND BRAD STIFFED HIM. 407 00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:43,990 NOW WE DON'T HAVE ELEVATOR SERVICE BEFORE 7:00 A.M., 408 00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:46,959 AND I HAD TO WALK UP 14 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS. DIDN'T YOU? 409 00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:49,429 I CLIMB THE STAIRS EVERY MORNING. 410 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,431 THE ELEVATOR'S FOR DEMOCRATS. LOCK THE DOOR. 411 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,200 MY NIPPLE'S HARD. 412 00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:56,469 WHILE I APPRECIATE THE UPDATE ON YOUR VESTIGIAL TEAT, 413 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:58,371 YOU'RE NOT HORNY, YOU'RE FREEZING. 414 00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:00,707 APPARENTLY THE HEAT DOESN'T GO ON IN THE BUILDING 415 00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:02,709 BEFORE 7:00 A.M. BECAUSE PAUL DIDN'T KEEP 416 00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:04,711 HIS SPECIAL AGREEMENT WITH THE BUILDING. 417 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,779 YOU'RE NOT GONNA LOCK THE DOOR, ARE YOU? 418 00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,715 DENNY, YOU'VE GOTTA CONVINCE PAUL TO STAY. 419 00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:11,284 ME? NEVER HAPPEN. 420 00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:13,820 THE REASON YOU, ME, ALAN AND THE REST OF US 421 00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:15,988 GET TO GO TO COURT AND YELL "OBJECTION" 422 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,490 AND SUE PEOPLE 423 00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:20,159 AND MAKE WITNESSES CRY IS PAUL. 424 00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:21,961 PAUL MAKES THE ELEVATORS RUN. 425 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,997 HE SUPERVISES THE ASSOCIATES. HE DOUBLE-CHECKS THE BILLABLES. 426 00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:27,967 WELL, LET ME TELL YOU, SHIRLEY, 427 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,572 WHAT MAKES THIS PLACE RUN-- MONEY. 428 00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:34,073 AND I BRING IT IN. 429 00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:35,575 YOU BRING IT IN, DENNY. 430 00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:37,977 BUT PAUL PUTS IT TO WORK. 431 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,579 SHIRLEY... 432 00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:41,414 A SUPERMARKET DOESN'T CLOSE 'CAUSE THE CASHIER QUIT. 433 00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:42,915 YES, IT DOES, DENNY. 434 00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:46,786 OTHERWISE PEOPLE WOULD JUST WALK OUT WITH THE FOOD. 435 00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,427 GOOD NEWS. 436 00:19:54,461 --> 00:19:56,429 MY CLIENT, IN THE SPIRIT OF COOPERATION, 437 00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:57,930 HAS MADE WHAT I CONSIDER 438 00:19:57,964 --> 00:20:01,834 AN AMICABLE AND GENEROUS OFFER. 439 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:05,405 NATALIE IS WILLING TO GIVE UP THE ENTIRE EROTICA COLLECTION-- 440 00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:07,106 BOOKS, MAGAZINES, PAINTINGS, PHOTOS-- 441 00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:11,110 A COLLECTION WHICH INCLUDES FIVE FIRST EDITION COPIES 442 00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:12,679 OF "THE PEARL." 443 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,781 WHICH I'M GUESSING IS NOT A BIOGRAPHY OF EARL MONROE. 444 00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,349 HARDLY. 445 00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:18,351 THE FULL TITLE IS, "THE PEARL: 446 00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:21,588 A JOURNAL OF FACETIAE AND VOLUPTUOUS READING." 447 00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:22,889 IT WAS FIRST PUBLISHED IN LONDON 448 00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:25,258 BY THE SOCIETY OF VICE IN 1879. 449 00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:26,759 THE ORIGINAL, UNBOUND PERIODICALS 450 00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:28,261 ARE EXCEEDINGLY RARE. 451 00:20:28,295 --> 00:20:30,129 AND THEY ALONE ARE WORTH MORE 452 00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:32,131 THAN THE ENTIRE REST OF THE COLLECTION PUT TOGETHER. 453 00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:34,133 SO WE UNDERSTAND WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT, 454 00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:36,436 PERHAPS I COULD READ A PASSAGE. IVAN, THAT WOULDN'T-- 455 00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:39,739 "I POURED INTO HER EARS A TALE OF BURNING LOVE. 456 00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:41,741 "FINDING THAT SHE MADE NO RESISTANCE, 457 00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:43,743 "I PRESSED HER TO MY BOSOM. 458 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:47,780 "I UNDRESSED HER TILL SHE STOOD IN PERFECT NUDITY. 459 00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:51,284 "I LED HER TO THE BEDSIDE. SHE LAY BACK. 460 00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:52,952 "I SANK TO MY KNEES, 461 00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:57,957 AND THEN WITH EAGERNESS AND TENDERNESS, I..." 462 00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:01,761 WELL, YOU GET THE IDEA. 463 00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:04,263 AS CHEESY AS THAT WAS, I DO. 464 00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:06,499 WELL, THAT BEING SAID, NATALIE IS WILLING 465 00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:09,101 TO GIVE UP THE COLLECTION EXCEPT FOR ONE SMALL ITEM 466 00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:10,937 THAT SHE CURRENTLY HAS IN HER POSSESSION. 467 00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,939 WHICH ITEM? 468 00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:14,974 SOMETHING CALLED THE HYSTERIA MACHINE. 469 00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:17,009 THE HYSTERIA MACHINE? THAT HARRIDAN! 470 00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:18,845 WHAT THE HELL IS A HYSTERIA MACHINE? 471 00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:20,513 THE PREMIER PIECE OF THE ENTIRE COLLECTION. 472 00:21:20,547 --> 00:21:22,148 WHY DIDN'T I SEE THIS COMING? 473 00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:24,150 FORGET THE HOUSE, FORGET THE PEWTER. 474 00:21:24,183 --> 00:21:26,285 SHE WANTS TO PLAY DIRTY, SO BE IT. 475 00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:30,256 IVAN, WE'RE GOING TO COURT. 476 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,992 SOUNDS LIKE A DATE. 477 00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:35,962 *** 478 00:21:41,668 --> 00:21:45,605 *** 479 00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,607 YOUR HONOR, SINCE HE BECAME MRS. FREEMAN'S CONSERVATOR, 480 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,609 MR. WHARTON HAS PLACED MRS. FREEMAN 481 00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:51,611 IN A CONVALESCENT HOME AGAINST HER WILL, 482 00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:54,313 HAS TAKEN CONTROL OF ALL HER CREDIT CARDS. 483 00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:57,283 HE HAS CHARGED EXORBITANT FEES TO THE ESTATE. 484 00:21:57,316 --> 00:22:00,286 TO PAY HER $90 ELECTRIC BILL, 485 00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:02,455 HE CHARGED THE ESTATE $150. 486 00:22:02,489 --> 00:22:04,223 HE CHARGED $170 487 00:22:04,256 --> 00:22:08,127 TO BRING HER LESS THAN $50 WORTH OF GROCERIES. 488 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,796 YOUR HONOR, THESE ARE LEGITIMATE EXPENSES. 489 00:22:09,829 --> 00:22:13,065 THE TRUTH IS, IF EVERYONE DID THEIR JOB, 490 00:22:13,099 --> 00:22:15,635 HELPED OUT WITH THEIR FAMILY, THEIR FRIENDS, THEIR NEIGHBORS, 491 00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:17,904 IT WOULD RENDER MY JOB UNNECESSARY. 492 00:22:17,937 --> 00:22:19,406 BUT WE DON'T. 493 00:22:19,439 --> 00:22:22,409 WE, AS A SOCIETY, DON'T LIKE TO CARE OF THE OLD AND THE WEAK. 494 00:22:22,442 --> 00:22:24,143 IT'S A DIFFICULT, 495 00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:25,745 HEART-WRENCHING AFFAIR. 496 00:22:25,778 --> 00:22:29,048 WELL, I STOOD UP AND AM DOING IT. 497 00:22:29,081 --> 00:22:31,584 I HAVE AN AFFIDAVIT FROM THE ADMITTING NURSE 498 00:22:31,618 --> 00:22:33,420 AT THE HOSPITAL WHERE ADELE WAS FIRST TAKEN. 499 00:22:33,453 --> 00:22:35,922 SHE SAYS ADELE WAS CONFUSED, DISORIENTED 500 00:22:35,955 --> 00:22:39,759 AND APPARENTLY HADN'T EATEN IN SEVERAL DAYS. 501 00:22:39,792 --> 00:22:41,561 A STATE ANY OF US MIGHT BE IN 502 00:22:41,594 --> 00:22:44,263 AFTER THE DEATH OF OUR LAST SURVIVING FAMILY MEMBER. 503 00:22:44,296 --> 00:22:46,265 I HAVE AN AFFIDAVIT 504 00:22:46,298 --> 00:22:48,234 FROM THE COTTONWOOD ASSISTED LIVING HOME, 505 00:22:48,267 --> 00:22:51,604 WHICH STATES MRS. FREEMAN IS LUCID AND RATIONAL. 506 00:22:51,638 --> 00:22:54,373 SHE'S LUCID BECAUSE SHE'S WELL TAKEN CARE OF. 507 00:22:54,407 --> 00:22:56,709 MR. WHARTON MAKES A POINT. 508 00:22:56,743 --> 00:22:59,746 MRS. FREEMAN IS 83 AND HAS NO FAMILY. 509 00:22:59,779 --> 00:23:02,715 WHAT IF SHE GOES OFF HER MEDICATION? 510 00:23:02,749 --> 00:23:04,851 SUPPOSE SHE TAKES A FALL? YOUR HONOR, IF THAT'S A CONCERN, 511 00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:07,954 I CAN ARRANGE FOR HER TO LIVE WITH A FRIEND. 512 00:23:07,987 --> 00:23:10,122 A FRIEND, ESPECIALLY A MATURE FRIEND, 513 00:23:10,156 --> 00:23:12,124 IS NOT THE SAME AS A FAMILY MEMBER 514 00:23:12,158 --> 00:23:14,293 OR A LEGAL CONSERVATOR. 515 00:23:14,326 --> 00:23:16,929 YOUR HONOR, I-- I'VE HEARD ENOUGH FROM BOTH SIDES. 516 00:23:16,963 --> 00:23:18,931 I'M ASSIGNING A COURT-APPOINTED PSYCHIATRIST 517 00:23:18,965 --> 00:23:21,434 TO EXAMINE YOU, MRS. FREEMAN. 518 00:23:21,468 --> 00:23:24,437 UNTIL I HAVE EVIDENCE THAT YOU ARE ENTIRELY SELF-SUFFICIENT, 519 00:23:24,471 --> 00:23:28,074 YOU WILL REMAIN A WARD OF MR. WHARTON. 520 00:23:28,107 --> 00:23:31,744 WE WILL RECONVENE IN SIX WEEKS AFTER THE EXAMINATION. 521 00:23:31,778 --> 00:23:33,245 SIX WEEKS? 522 00:23:33,279 --> 00:23:35,915 YOUR HONOR, FOR MRS. FREEMAN, THAT IS A LIFETIME. 523 00:23:35,948 --> 00:23:37,416 AND IN THE COURT SYSTEM, 524 00:23:37,450 --> 00:23:39,619 IT'S PRACTICALLY THE SPEED OF LIGHT. 525 00:23:39,652 --> 00:23:41,053 (bangs gavel) 526 00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:43,956 WE'RE ADJOURNED. 527 00:23:43,990 --> 00:23:46,325 IT WAS ACTUALLY USED AS A MEDICAL DEVICE. 528 00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:48,160 DURING THE VICTORIAN ERA, 529 00:23:48,194 --> 00:23:50,763 THERE WAS AN INABILITY OR AN UNWILLINGNESS OF SOCIETY 530 00:23:50,797 --> 00:23:53,332 TO COMPREHEND FEMALE SEXUAL DESIRE, 531 00:23:53,365 --> 00:23:55,568 SO THIS DESIRE WAS MISINTERPRETED 532 00:23:55,602 --> 00:23:57,436 AS "AN ILLNESS." 533 00:23:57,470 --> 00:23:59,438 IT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE WORKING. 534 00:23:59,472 --> 00:24:01,608 WELL, IT TAKES A MINUTE OR TWO TO GET ITS STEAM UP. 535 00:24:01,641 --> 00:24:03,776 IN THE MEANTIME, PROFESSOR CABOT, 536 00:24:03,810 --> 00:24:06,278 COULD YOU TELL US HOW THE HYSTERIA MACHINE WORKS? 537 00:24:06,312 --> 00:24:08,447 WOMEN FREQUENTLY COMPLAINED OF SYMPTOMS SUCH AS 538 00:24:08,481 --> 00:24:11,117 NERVOUSNESS, UH, HEAVINESS IN THE ABDOMEN, 539 00:24:11,150 --> 00:24:13,753 VAGINAL LUBRICATION, INSOMNIA AND SO ON. 540 00:24:13,786 --> 00:24:15,755 DOCTORS REFERRED TO THESE SYMPTOMS AS HYSTERIA, 541 00:24:15,788 --> 00:24:19,959 BUT OF COURSE, THEY'RE ACTUALLY SIGNS OF SEXUAL AROUSAL. 542 00:24:19,992 --> 00:24:21,794 BEFORE THE INVENTION OF THIS MACHINE, 543 00:24:21,828 --> 00:24:24,130 A DOCTOR WOULD, UH, MASSAGE A WOMAN 544 00:24:24,163 --> 00:24:27,133 UNTIL SHE REACHED A CLIMACTIC "PAROXYSM," 545 00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:28,300 AS THEY CALLED IT. 546 00:24:28,334 --> 00:24:30,302 I SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO MY MOTHER. 547 00:24:30,336 --> 00:24:32,271 SHE ALWAYS WANTED ME TO BE A DOCTOR. 548 00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:34,440 AND HOW DID THIS MACHINE COME INTO BEING? 549 00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:36,943 A DOCTOR INVENTED IT BECAUSE, WELL... 550 00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:38,511 HIS ARM GOT TIRED. 551 00:24:38,545 --> 00:24:40,112 (steam hisses) 552 00:24:40,146 --> 00:24:42,114 AH. THE STEAM IS UP, AND IT'S READY TO GO. 553 00:24:42,148 --> 00:24:44,216 (machine whirring) 554 00:24:44,250 --> 00:24:46,719 OH, MY GOD. 555 00:24:46,753 --> 00:24:48,955 IT'S AMAZING, ISN'T IT? 556 00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:51,524 AND I HAVEN'T EVEN PUT THE ATTACHMENTS ON YET, 557 00:24:51,558 --> 00:24:53,793 WHICH GO RIGHT THERE. 558 00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:56,028 OH, MY GOD! 559 00:24:56,062 --> 00:24:58,364 IT'S THE ONLY WORKING ONE OF ITS KIND IN THE WORLD. 560 00:24:58,397 --> 00:25:01,701 IT'S UNIQUE AND VALUABLE AND IRREPLACEABLE. 561 00:25:01,734 --> 00:25:03,836 WOULD YOU, UH, SHUT IT OFF, PLEASE? 562 00:25:03,870 --> 00:25:06,839 (steam hissing) 563 00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:10,810 SORRY, YOUR HONOR. 564 00:25:10,843 --> 00:25:14,246 A STEAM ENGINE DOESN'T JUST SHUT OFF RIGHT AWAY. 565 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,584 (hissing continues) 566 00:25:17,617 --> 00:25:20,653 MR. WHARTON, UNFORTUNATELY, 567 00:25:20,687 --> 00:25:22,922 WHAT MAY SEEM LIKE A SMALL VICTORY 568 00:25:22,955 --> 00:25:25,424 IS REALLY JUST POSTPONING THE INEVITABLE. 569 00:25:25,457 --> 00:25:26,926 WE WILL PREVAIL, 570 00:25:26,959 --> 00:25:28,928 AND SINCE I KNOW YOU'RE ANXIOUS TO GET HOME 571 00:25:28,961 --> 00:25:30,429 AND RAKE YOUR SHAG CARPET, 572 00:25:30,462 --> 00:25:32,699 WHY DON'T YOU JUST LET THIS ONE GO? 573 00:25:32,732 --> 00:25:34,701 WELL, MOSTLY BECAUSE I'M MAD. 574 00:25:34,734 --> 00:25:36,202 AND FOR ADELE'S SAKE, 575 00:25:36,235 --> 00:25:38,204 I'M WILLING TO STAY IN THIS FOR THE LONG HAUL. 576 00:25:38,237 --> 00:25:40,106 I'LL HIRE MY OWN HIGH-PRICED ATTORNEYS 577 00:25:40,139 --> 00:25:41,608 AT $500 AN HOUR. 578 00:25:41,641 --> 00:25:43,876 AND YOU KNOW WHERE THAT MONEY COMES FROM, DON'T YOU? 579 00:25:43,910 --> 00:25:45,878 ADELE'S BANK ACCOUNT. THAT'S WHAT IT'S THERE FOR-- 580 00:25:45,912 --> 00:25:48,615 TO INSURE THE WELL-BEING OF MY CLIENT. 581 00:25:48,648 --> 00:25:50,116 BUT DON'T WORRY, 582 00:25:50,149 --> 00:25:52,051 I'LL EVENTUALLY STOP BATTLING YOU 583 00:25:52,084 --> 00:25:54,086 ONCE ALL THE MONEY'S RUN OUT. 584 00:25:59,959 --> 00:26:03,462 (steam hissing) 585 00:26:06,232 --> 00:26:08,701 (hissing stops) 586 00:26:08,735 --> 00:26:11,904 PROFESSOR CABOT, DON'T YOU INTEND, EVENTUALLY, 587 00:26:11,938 --> 00:26:15,141 TO DONATE THIS COLLECTION, INCLUDING THE HYSTERIA MACHINE, 588 00:26:15,174 --> 00:26:16,643 TO A MUSEUM, 589 00:26:16,676 --> 00:26:18,878 A PLACE WHERE EVERYONE COULD... 590 00:26:18,911 --> 00:26:20,880 GET SOME PLEASURE FROM IT? 591 00:26:20,913 --> 00:26:23,549 OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR. LEADING THE WITNESS. (Judge) SUSTAINED. 592 00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:26,052 THE WITNESS WILL NOT ANSWER. 593 00:26:26,085 --> 00:26:28,220 BUT I GOT THE POINT ANYWAY. 594 00:26:28,254 --> 00:26:30,823 PLEASE TAKE A SEAT. 595 00:26:30,857 --> 00:26:33,425 IT SEEMS TO ME THAT PROFESSOR CLIFFORD CABOT'S 596 00:26:33,459 --> 00:26:35,327 MOTIVATION FOR WANTING THE MACHINE 597 00:26:35,361 --> 00:26:38,931 WOULD SERVE A GREATER GOOD THAN YOUR MORE... 598 00:26:38,965 --> 00:26:41,333 LOCALIZED MOTIVATIONS. 599 00:26:41,367 --> 00:26:43,602 I'M INCLINED TO AWARD THE MACHINE 600 00:26:43,636 --> 00:26:45,404 TO PROFESSOR CLIFFORD CABOT. 601 00:26:45,437 --> 00:26:48,975 BRING IT AND AN INVENTORY OF THE REST OF THE COLLECTION 602 00:26:49,008 --> 00:26:50,476 INTO COURT THIS AFTERNOON, 603 00:26:50,509 --> 00:26:52,745 AND THEN I'LL DECIDE WHO GETS WHAT. 604 00:26:52,779 --> 00:26:56,448 *** 605 00:27:04,556 --> 00:27:06,258 *** 606 00:27:06,292 --> 00:27:08,127 ALAN... 607 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,963 HE'S SELLING HER HOUSE. 608 00:27:15,668 --> 00:27:17,103 (Adele) THAT'S MY LIVING ROOM, 609 00:27:17,136 --> 00:27:18,938 MY SON JONATHAN'S BEDROOM, 610 00:27:18,971 --> 00:27:22,041 MY KITCHEN, MY BATHROOM. 611 00:27:22,074 --> 00:27:24,877 MY HOUSE IS A "CHARMING 3-BEDROOM 612 00:27:24,911 --> 00:27:26,879 WITH POTENTIAL." 613 00:27:26,913 --> 00:27:29,015 WHAT'S GOING ON? 614 00:27:29,048 --> 00:27:31,383 MR. WHARTON IS EVEN MORE RANCID THAN I HAD IMAGINED. 615 00:27:31,417 --> 00:27:33,720 HE'S ATTEMPTING TO SELL ADELE'S HOME. 616 00:27:33,753 --> 00:27:35,722 APPARENTLY, THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME 617 00:27:35,755 --> 00:27:37,790 MR. WHARTON HAS DONE THIS. 618 00:27:37,824 --> 00:27:40,292 ACCORDING TO A TITLE SEARCH, HE HAS SOLD 11 HOUSES 619 00:27:40,326 --> 00:27:41,794 BELONGING TO HIS WARDS. 620 00:27:41,828 --> 00:27:44,530 AND GET THIS, THE HOUSE HE'S LIVING IN RIGHT NOW 621 00:27:44,563 --> 00:27:46,132 BELONGED TO ANOTHER ONE OF HIS WARDS 622 00:27:46,165 --> 00:27:48,067 WHO HAPPENED TO PASS AWAY IN HER SLEEP. 623 00:27:48,100 --> 00:27:49,135 OH. 624 00:27:49,168 --> 00:27:52,204 THIS MAN IS PURE EVIL. 625 00:27:52,238 --> 00:27:53,706 ALAN, YOU HAVE GOTTA GET 626 00:27:53,740 --> 00:27:56,976 THAT CREATIVE BRAIN OF YOURS TO WORK AND STOP HIM. 627 00:27:57,009 --> 00:27:59,045 YES, I DO. 628 00:28:01,781 --> 00:28:03,082 STOLEN? 629 00:28:03,115 --> 00:28:05,151 RIGHT OUT OF HER CAR. OH, NO. 630 00:28:05,184 --> 00:28:07,486 IT'S ALL SHE HAD. PLEASE, THIS IS LUDICROUS. 631 00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:08,988 I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY, MRS. CABOT 632 00:28:09,021 --> 00:28:11,858 DOESN'T WANT TO SURRENDER THE HYSTERIA MACHINE, 633 00:28:11,891 --> 00:28:13,392 AND SHE'S HIDING IT FROM HER HUSBAND 634 00:28:13,425 --> 00:28:15,694 FOR HER OWN PERSONAL REASONS. THAT'S A SHOCKING ACCUSATION. 635 00:28:15,728 --> 00:28:18,430 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU DON'T PLAY FAIR. WHAT CAN I SAY? 636 00:28:18,464 --> 00:28:21,100 YOUR HONOR, MY CLIENT RECOGNIZES THAT THE NEWS 637 00:28:21,133 --> 00:28:23,069 IS CAUSING DISTRESS TO PROFESSOR CABOT, 638 00:28:23,102 --> 00:28:24,570 AND IS THEREFORE WILLING 639 00:28:24,603 --> 00:28:27,339 TO PAY HER HALF OF THE APPRAISED VALUE. NONSENSE. 640 00:28:27,373 --> 00:28:30,676 THE ITEM IN QUESTION WAS IN MRS. CABOT'S CARE AND CONTROL. 641 00:28:30,709 --> 00:28:33,612 CLEARLY, THIS MACHINE IS A PRECIOUS ITEM... 642 00:28:33,645 --> 00:28:35,714 TO HIM. 643 00:28:35,748 --> 00:28:39,952 I AM THEREFORE ORDERING YOU PAY THE FULL COST OF THE MACHINE, 644 00:28:39,986 --> 00:28:42,955 PLUS PUNITIVE DAMAGES I WILL DETERMINE AT A LATER DATE. 645 00:28:42,989 --> 00:28:44,924 YOUR HONOR, THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. 646 00:28:44,957 --> 00:28:46,592 OBVIOUSLY, SHE STILL HAS THE MACHINE. 647 00:28:46,625 --> 00:28:48,795 IF IT TURNS UP, WE WILL ADDRESS THE MATTER LATER. 648 00:28:48,828 --> 00:28:51,764 BUT UNTIL SUCH TIME, THIS RULING STANDS. 649 00:28:51,798 --> 00:28:53,132 (bangs gavel) 650 00:28:53,165 --> 00:28:54,767 YOU LYING BITCH. DON'T THREATEN ME. 651 00:28:54,801 --> 00:28:57,203 YOU THINK THIS IS OVER? THE JUDGE RULED. 652 00:28:57,236 --> 00:28:59,471 IT'S NOT OVER. PEOPLE! 653 00:28:59,505 --> 00:29:01,573 CLIFFORD, WE NEED TO PUSH FORWARD WITH THIS. 654 00:29:01,607 --> 00:29:03,575 IF THE HYSTERIA MACHINE WAS STOLEN, 655 00:29:03,609 --> 00:29:06,478 YOU NEED TO TAKE THE NECESSARY AND APPROPRIATE ACTION. 656 00:29:06,512 --> 00:29:09,248 AND AS CO-OWNER, YOU WILL FILE A POLICE REPORT, 657 00:29:09,281 --> 00:29:12,484 AND YOU WILL FILE A CLAIM WITH YOUR INSURANCE COMPANY. 658 00:29:12,518 --> 00:29:13,986 THERE'LL BE AN INVESTIGATION. 659 00:29:14,020 --> 00:29:15,721 YOU'LL HAVE TO OPEN UP YOUR HOUSE. 660 00:29:15,754 --> 00:29:18,324 IF YOU GIVE A FALSE STATEMENT TO THE POLICE 661 00:29:18,357 --> 00:29:20,592 OR, WORSE THESE DAYS, THE INSURANCE COMPANY, 662 00:29:20,626 --> 00:29:22,929 YOU'LL BE CHARGED WITH FRAUD AND PROSECUTED 663 00:29:22,962 --> 00:29:25,164 TO THE FULL EXTENT OF THE LAW. AND FROM MY EXPERIENCES, 664 00:29:25,197 --> 00:29:27,566 THE D.A.'s OFFICE TAKES THESE CRIMES SERIOUSLY 665 00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:28,935 AND OFTEN PUSHES FOR JAIL TIME, 666 00:29:28,968 --> 00:29:31,637 WHERE YOU'LL BE ABLE TO DO LOTS OF WOMEN'S STUDIES. 667 00:29:31,670 --> 00:29:33,339 SHIRLEY. HMM? 668 00:29:33,372 --> 00:29:34,974 THAT'S NOT NICE. 669 00:29:35,007 --> 00:29:37,309 OH. ARE WE BEING NICE NOW? 670 00:29:39,946 --> 00:29:42,949 *** 671 00:29:45,551 --> 00:29:49,255 ("Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" fanfare plays) 672 00:29:49,288 --> 00:29:51,023 THIS IS FOR $4,000, BOB. 673 00:29:51,057 --> 00:29:53,960 "A PROVOST IS A HIGH-RANKING OFFICER 674 00:29:53,993 --> 00:29:55,862 "COMMONLY FOUND AT WHAT TYPE OF INSTITUTION? 675 00:29:55,895 --> 00:29:57,629 "MUSEUM... 676 00:29:57,663 --> 00:30:01,767 "HOSPITAL, UNIVERSITY, BANK." 677 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,335 IT'S UNIVERSITY, YOU IDIOT. 678 00:30:03,369 --> 00:30:04,336 UNIVERSITY. 679 00:30:04,370 --> 00:30:05,838 FINAL ANSWER? 680 00:30:05,872 --> 00:30:07,206 FINAL. 681 00:30:07,239 --> 00:30:09,008 YES, SIR. YOU GOT IT AGAIN, BOB. 682 00:30:09,041 --> 00:30:10,509 (cheers and applause) 683 00:30:10,542 --> 00:30:12,544 ("Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" fanfare plays) 684 00:30:12,578 --> 00:30:15,114 HELP! 685 00:30:15,147 --> 00:30:16,148 AAH! 686 00:30:16,182 --> 00:30:17,783 HELP! HELP! 687 00:30:17,816 --> 00:30:20,552 OH, GOD! OH, GOD! 688 00:30:20,586 --> 00:30:22,388 AAH! 689 00:30:22,421 --> 00:30:24,456 NO! HELP! 690 00:30:24,490 --> 00:30:27,493 HELP! HELP! 691 00:30:27,526 --> 00:30:28,727 (whimpers) 692 00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:32,664 (grunting) 693 00:30:35,334 --> 00:30:36,802 (knock on door) 694 00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:37,803 (grunting) 695 00:30:37,836 --> 00:30:39,305 (Alan) YOO-HOO. ANYBODY HOME? 696 00:30:39,338 --> 00:30:41,740 (muffled voice) OVER HERE! OVER HERE! 697 00:30:41,773 --> 00:30:42,741 (grunting) 698 00:30:42,774 --> 00:30:45,711 MR. WHARTON. 699 00:30:45,744 --> 00:30:48,747 OH, MY GOODNESS. 700 00:30:48,780 --> 00:30:51,750 THIS IS DREADFUL. LOOK AT YOU. 701 00:30:51,783 --> 00:30:54,887 YOU'VE BEEN ASSAULTED AND ROBBED. 702 00:30:54,921 --> 00:30:56,422 OH, THE WORLD WE LIVE IN. 703 00:30:56,455 --> 00:30:58,925 WHO ON EARTH WOULD DO SOMETHING SUCH AS THIS? 704 00:30:58,958 --> 00:31:01,760 (grunting) 705 00:31:01,793 --> 00:31:04,663 OH, OF COURSE. YOU CAN'T SPEAK. 706 00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:07,666 I'LL GET YOU A PAD AND A PENCIL. 707 00:31:07,699 --> 00:31:09,668 NO, THAT'S NO GOOD. YOUR HANDS ARE TIED. 708 00:31:09,701 --> 00:31:12,404 MY GOD. YOU MUST HAVE BEEN LEFT HERE FOR WHAT, 709 00:31:12,438 --> 00:31:13,906 OVER AN HOUR? 710 00:31:13,940 --> 00:31:16,542 IT MUST FEEL AWFUL TO BE LEFT ALONE 711 00:31:16,575 --> 00:31:20,112 AND VULNERABLE. 712 00:31:20,146 --> 00:31:23,015 WELL, APPARENTLY, THEY MADE OFF WITH NOTHING MORE 713 00:31:23,049 --> 00:31:25,017 THAN SOME DINGY OLD FILE BOXES, 714 00:31:25,051 --> 00:31:27,586 WHICH COULD ONLY CONTAIN RECORDS, I WOULD IMAGINE. 715 00:31:27,619 --> 00:31:29,455 HOW STUPID ARE THEY? 716 00:31:29,488 --> 00:31:33,259 I MEAN, WHAT COULD THEY POSSIBLY HOPE TO GET FOR THAT? 717 00:31:33,292 --> 00:31:34,927 ANYWAY, I'M GLAD IT'S OVER. 718 00:31:34,961 --> 00:31:37,763 LET'S JUST PRAY IT NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN 719 00:31:37,796 --> 00:31:41,100 AND AGAIN AND... AGAIN. 720 00:31:41,133 --> 00:31:42,401 MMM? 721 00:31:42,434 --> 00:31:43,602 OH! 722 00:31:43,635 --> 00:31:45,604 ALSO, OBVIOUSLY, YOU'RE IN NO SHAPE TO HANDLE 723 00:31:45,637 --> 00:31:47,106 YOUR COURT-APPOINTED DUTIES, 724 00:31:47,139 --> 00:31:49,708 PARTICULARLY WITH REGARD TO ADELE. NOT TO WORRY. 725 00:31:49,741 --> 00:31:52,211 I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE WITH ME 726 00:31:52,244 --> 00:31:56,115 THAT... RELEASE FORM FROM THE OTHER DAY. 727 00:31:56,148 --> 00:32:01,153 NOW MAYBE THERE'S JUST ENOUGH GIVE HERE... 728 00:32:01,187 --> 00:32:02,154 (grunts) 729 00:32:02,188 --> 00:32:04,323 TO LET YOU SIGN IT. 730 00:32:04,356 --> 00:32:07,126 MM. THERE'S THAT. 731 00:32:07,159 --> 00:32:09,428 HERE YOU GO. 732 00:32:10,963 --> 00:32:13,599 WONDERFUL. 733 00:32:13,632 --> 00:32:14,766 MMM. 734 00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:16,635 YOU KNOW, 735 00:32:16,668 --> 00:32:21,440 NOW THAT THIS EXPERIENCE HAS BROUGHT US CLOSER, 736 00:32:21,473 --> 00:32:24,443 I FEEL I CAN SAY THIS. 737 00:32:24,476 --> 00:32:27,679 SOMETIMES THESE EVENTS ARE JUST WHAT ONE NEEDS 738 00:32:27,713 --> 00:32:29,515 TO SHAKE THINGS UP A BIT, 739 00:32:29,548 --> 00:32:31,017 MAKE A CHANGE. 740 00:32:31,050 --> 00:32:34,653 NEW JOB, NEW DIRECTION, NEW IDEAS--JUST A THOUGHT. 741 00:32:34,686 --> 00:32:38,124 I'M THINKING NOW WOULD BE A PERFECT TIME TO START. 742 00:32:39,691 --> 00:32:41,960 YES, WELL, THIS IS MUCH BETTER ALREADY. 743 00:32:41,994 --> 00:32:46,132 I FEEL THAT FOREBODING SENSE OF DANGER FADING. 744 00:32:46,165 --> 00:32:49,135 STILL, BEST TO STAY ALERT, ON THE RIGHT PATH. 745 00:32:49,168 --> 00:32:51,137 BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THIS KIND OF THING 746 00:32:51,170 --> 00:32:52,638 MIGHT HAPPEN AGAIN. 747 00:32:52,671 --> 00:32:55,341 YOU ONLY KNOW THAT IT WILL. 748 00:33:02,248 --> 00:33:06,052 *** 749 00:33:16,062 --> 00:33:18,564 HEY. 750 00:33:18,597 --> 00:33:20,999 HEY, HEY. 751 00:33:26,205 --> 00:33:28,740 YOU DIDN'T ACTUALLY FILE A POLICE REPORT? 752 00:33:28,774 --> 00:33:31,810 AND AN INSURANCE CLAIM. 753 00:33:31,843 --> 00:33:33,345 (sighs) 754 00:33:33,379 --> 00:33:35,247 SHIRLEY... (bell rings) 755 00:33:35,281 --> 00:33:37,249 IF, GOD FORBID, THE GUY WHO STOLE THIS 756 00:33:37,283 --> 00:33:40,252 FEELS REMORSE AND RETURNS IT TO MY CLIENT, 757 00:33:40,286 --> 00:33:42,088 SHE COULD END UP GOING TO JAIL. 758 00:33:42,121 --> 00:33:44,590 IT'S A TRIBUTE TO THE RISKS ONE IS WILLING TO TAKE 759 00:33:44,623 --> 00:33:46,092 FOR SOME MOMENTARY PLEASURE. 760 00:33:46,125 --> 00:33:49,428 (chuckles) WHICH PROVES MY POINT, BY THE WAY. 761 00:33:49,461 --> 00:33:51,730 IT'S NOT JUST ME, IT'S ALL OF US. 762 00:33:51,763 --> 00:33:55,267 WE ARE ALL MERELY SEXUAL ANIMALS. 763 00:33:55,301 --> 00:33:57,536 AND, SHIRLEY, 764 00:33:57,569 --> 00:33:59,538 AS CRUDE AS YOU MIGHT THINK ME AT TIMES, 765 00:33:59,571 --> 00:34:01,607 AT LEAST I PUT MYSELF OUT THERE 766 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,042 AND ACT ON MY INSTINCTS. 767 00:34:04,076 --> 00:34:06,378 YOU MUST AT LEAST ADMIRE ME FOR THAT. 768 00:34:06,412 --> 00:34:09,115 I MORE THAN ADMIRE YOU, IVAN, AND YOU KNOW IT. 769 00:34:09,148 --> 00:34:11,750 YOU HAVE A WIFE WHO ADORES YOU AND WHO YOU LOVE-- 770 00:34:11,783 --> 00:34:13,752 PROBABLY MORE THAN YOU'RE WILLING TO ADMIT-- 771 00:34:13,785 --> 00:34:15,254 AND FOR HER SAKE, 772 00:34:15,287 --> 00:34:18,190 IF NOT MORE IMPORTANTLY FOR YOUR OWN, 773 00:34:18,224 --> 00:34:20,292 YOU NEED TO GROW UP. 774 00:34:25,097 --> 00:34:27,599 (bell rings) 775 00:34:27,633 --> 00:34:29,735 I LOVE YOU, SHIRLEY. 776 00:34:33,305 --> 00:34:35,641 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 777 00:34:53,692 --> 00:34:55,494 SAM. 778 00:34:55,527 --> 00:34:58,464 DENNY CRANE. GOOD TO SEE YOU. 779 00:34:58,497 --> 00:35:01,400 OH, LOOK AT YOU. HOW'S EVELYN? 780 00:35:01,433 --> 00:35:04,002 SHE'S WELL. SHE'S VERY WELL. THANKS FOR ASKING. 781 00:35:04,035 --> 00:35:06,104 HOW IS THE FISHING GOING THIS SEASON? 782 00:35:06,138 --> 00:35:07,639 IN THE WATER OR IN THE BEDROOM? 783 00:35:07,673 --> 00:35:08,974 UH-OH. 784 00:35:09,007 --> 00:35:11,977 (laughter) 785 00:35:12,010 --> 00:35:15,447 WELL... WHAT CAN WE DO FOR YOU? 786 00:35:15,481 --> 00:35:17,516 SHOULDN'T WE WAIT FOR PAUL LEWISTON? 787 00:35:17,549 --> 00:35:21,420 PAUL'S... DIALING THINGS BACK A LITTLE RIGHT NOW. 788 00:35:21,453 --> 00:35:23,922 OH, WELL... I'M CONSIDERING 789 00:35:23,955 --> 00:35:26,124 DIVESTING FROM SOME OF MY HONG KONG SUBSIDIARIES... 790 00:35:26,158 --> 00:35:27,125 REALLY? 791 00:35:27,159 --> 00:35:28,760 AND, UH... 792 00:35:28,794 --> 00:35:31,930 I'M SORRY. IS PAUL LEAVING THE FIRM? 793 00:35:31,963 --> 00:35:33,432 IT'S UNCLEAR. 794 00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:35,367 BUT THE POINT IS, I'M YOUR POINT MAN. 795 00:35:35,401 --> 00:35:37,703 ALWAYS HAVE BEEN. 796 00:35:37,736 --> 00:35:40,206 DENNY, WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER A LONG TIME, 797 00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:43,309 SO I DON'T TAKE ANY PLEASURE IN BEING THIS BLUNT, 798 00:35:43,342 --> 00:35:47,112 BUT I LOVE HAVING A DRINK WITH YOU, SCHMOOZING. 799 00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:48,714 RIGHT. 800 00:35:48,747 --> 00:35:50,316 PAUL'S THE ONE I DEAL WITH. 801 00:35:50,349 --> 00:35:53,885 I MEAN, HE'S THE EXPERT IN ASIAN MARKETS, 802 00:35:53,919 --> 00:35:56,622 AND YOU... 803 00:35:56,655 --> 00:35:58,324 WELL... 804 00:36:10,436 --> 00:36:12,238 THIS IS FOR YOU. 805 00:36:12,271 --> 00:36:14,973 WHAT IS IT? 806 00:36:15,006 --> 00:36:16,875 OPEN IT. 807 00:36:21,780 --> 00:36:23,048 (sighs) 808 00:36:23,081 --> 00:36:24,583 DENNY... 809 00:36:24,616 --> 00:36:27,819 JUST A SIMPLE "THANK YOU, O' KIND AND BENEVOLENT LEADER" 810 00:36:27,853 --> 00:36:29,421 WILL SUFFICE. 811 00:36:29,455 --> 00:36:31,823 I CAN'T ACCEPT THIS. 812 00:36:31,857 --> 00:36:34,926 I THOUGHT IT WAS WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANTED. 813 00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:37,763 I'M SURE IT'S WHAT YOU THOUGHT I ALWAYS WANTED. 814 00:36:37,796 --> 00:36:41,267 YOU TRYING TO PLAY HARDBALL WITH ME, PAUL? 815 00:36:41,300 --> 00:36:45,271 DON'T TELL ME THIS WHOLE THING IS SIMPLY A MATTER OF RESPECT? 816 00:36:45,304 --> 00:36:48,507 GOOD GOD, IT IS. 817 00:36:48,540 --> 00:36:50,742 MY MIND AND MY PRIORITIES 818 00:36:50,776 --> 00:36:54,079 ARE EXACTLY WHERE THEY SHOULD BE RIGHT NOW. 819 00:36:54,112 --> 00:36:56,882 WHEN RACHEL GETS OUT, I WILL BE BACK HERE FULL-TIME, 820 00:36:56,915 --> 00:36:58,384 OR MAYBE I WON'T. 821 00:36:58,417 --> 00:37:01,753 IN THE MEANTIME, IT WILL GIVE YOU THE OPPORTUNITY 822 00:37:01,787 --> 00:37:06,425 TO ACTUALLY THINK ABOUT THINGS FOR A CHANGE. 823 00:37:08,494 --> 00:37:10,862 GOD BLESS US. WE FOUND IT. 824 00:37:10,896 --> 00:37:14,700 THE ANTIQUE, STEAM-POWERED WOMAN-PLEASING MACHINE 825 00:37:14,733 --> 00:37:17,235 IS ALWAYS IN THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK. 826 00:37:17,269 --> 00:37:18,737 YOU BET. 827 00:37:18,770 --> 00:37:21,707 NOW MY CLIENT IS MORE THAN THRILLED TO RETURN IT 828 00:37:21,740 --> 00:37:23,709 AND JUST ASK FOR VISITATION RIGHTS. 829 00:37:23,742 --> 00:37:25,877 HOWEVER, SHE CANNOT DO THAT FROM JAIL, 830 00:37:25,911 --> 00:37:28,714 AND SO SHE REQUESTS THAT THE POLICE 831 00:37:28,747 --> 00:37:30,549 AND INSURANCE CLAIMS BE WITHDRAWN. 832 00:37:30,582 --> 00:37:32,384 DONE. I JUST WANT TO CHECK 833 00:37:32,418 --> 00:37:34,152 TO MAKE SURE IT'S THE ORIGINAL MACHINE. 834 00:37:34,185 --> 00:37:36,388 YOU DON'T TRUST ME. 835 00:37:36,422 --> 00:37:38,957 NOT A BAD IDEA. 836 00:37:58,977 --> 00:38:00,746 (sighs) 837 00:38:00,779 --> 00:38:03,349 I LEFT MY WIFE, SHIRLEY. 838 00:38:06,318 --> 00:38:07,853 DID YOU? 839 00:38:07,886 --> 00:38:10,622 ABOUT AN HOUR AGO. 840 00:38:17,396 --> 00:38:21,032 SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? 841 00:38:22,534 --> 00:38:25,537 TO BE HONEST, I'M A LITTLE AFRAID TO THINK. 842 00:38:27,205 --> 00:38:29,441 WELL, NO NEED THEN. 843 00:38:29,475 --> 00:38:32,110 HOWEVER, YOU KNOW ME. 844 00:38:32,143 --> 00:38:33,612 I DO HAVE A QUESTION. 845 00:38:33,645 --> 00:38:36,682 AND WHAT WOULD THAT BE? 846 00:38:39,485 --> 00:38:42,020 WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY ATTACHMENTS? 847 00:38:42,053 --> 00:38:43,021 (laughs) 848 00:38:43,054 --> 00:38:46,057 (machine hissing) 849 00:38:48,226 --> 00:38:52,030 *** 850 00:39:03,942 --> 00:39:05,977 DENNY... 851 00:39:06,011 --> 00:39:07,479 YOU'RE HERE LATE. 852 00:39:07,513 --> 00:39:08,980 I RUN THE PLACE. 853 00:39:09,014 --> 00:39:11,082 SO... 854 00:39:11,116 --> 00:39:13,985 YOU AND SHIRLEY... 855 00:39:14,019 --> 00:39:15,987 GIVES US SOMETHING IN COMMON. 856 00:39:16,021 --> 00:39:18,690 A HELL OF A WOMAN. 857 00:39:18,724 --> 00:39:20,592 WE HAVE SOMETHING ELSE IN COMMON. 858 00:39:20,626 --> 00:39:22,027 WHAT'S THAT? 859 00:39:22,060 --> 00:39:24,262 WE'RE BOTH... 860 00:39:24,295 --> 00:39:25,897 LEADING MEN. 861 00:39:25,931 --> 00:39:28,033 WE'RE LIKE STARS IN OUR OWN SHOW. 862 00:39:28,066 --> 00:39:30,436 ONLY THE STAR DOESN'T HAVE 863 00:39:30,469 --> 00:39:33,505 ONLY ONE LEADING LADY. 864 00:39:33,539 --> 00:39:35,707 OH, SURE, SOMETIMES, AT THE END OF AN EPISODE, 865 00:39:35,741 --> 00:39:37,709 IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S SETTLING DOWN WITH SOMEONE, 866 00:39:37,743 --> 00:39:39,377 BUT THE NEXT WEEK, SHE'S NOT THERE. 867 00:39:39,411 --> 00:39:42,113 IT'S SOMEBODY ELSE. IT'S A WAY OF HOLDING UP 868 00:39:42,147 --> 00:39:43,615 VIEWER INTEREST. 869 00:39:43,649 --> 00:39:45,951 YOU'RE A STRANGE MAN, DENNY. 870 00:39:45,984 --> 00:39:49,087 STRANGE LEADING MAN. 871 00:39:52,057 --> 00:39:54,426 YOU'RE NOT GONNA HURT HER, IVAN. 872 00:40:03,602 --> 00:40:06,605 *** 873 00:40:16,347 --> 00:40:18,517 SO WHOSE ASS DID YOU HAVE KICKED? 874 00:40:20,652 --> 00:40:23,288 SOMEONE WHOSE ASS THOROUGHLY DESERVED IT. 875 00:40:23,321 --> 00:40:24,956 GOOD. 876 00:40:24,990 --> 00:40:26,458 I CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND 877 00:40:26,492 --> 00:40:29,094 WHY PEOPLE DON'T USE VIOLENCE MORE OFTEN 878 00:40:29,127 --> 00:40:30,596 TO SOLVE THEIR PROBLEMS. 879 00:40:30,629 --> 00:40:32,097 WORKS EVERY TIME. 880 00:40:32,130 --> 00:40:33,765 ACTUALLY, I'M QUITE DISTURBED BY IT. 881 00:40:33,799 --> 00:40:35,433 I HAD A REAL APPETITE 882 00:40:35,467 --> 00:40:38,970 FOR MR. WHARTON'S FEAR AND SUFFERING. 883 00:40:39,004 --> 00:40:40,472 IS THAT UNUSUAL? 884 00:40:40,506 --> 00:40:42,508 (sighs) FOR ME? NOT AT ALL. 885 00:40:42,541 --> 00:40:44,009 WHAT WAS UNUSUAL 886 00:40:44,042 --> 00:40:46,845 WAS HOW SWIFTLY I ACTED ON MY CRAVINGS. 887 00:40:46,878 --> 00:40:49,347 IT WAS AN EMERGENCY. WHAT ELSE COULD YOU DO? 888 00:40:49,380 --> 00:40:52,117 SOMETHING MORE CLEVER. 889 00:40:54,653 --> 00:40:57,355 EQUALLY DISTURBING WAS HOW EASY IT ALL WAS-- 890 00:40:57,388 --> 00:41:00,358 A QUICK FIX WHICH REQUIRED VERY LITTLE THOUGHT ON MY PART. 891 00:41:00,391 --> 00:41:02,794 JUST A PHONE CALL. 892 00:41:04,630 --> 00:41:07,499 I WONDER WHAT I'M TURNING INTO. 893 00:41:07,533 --> 00:41:10,135 DENNY CRANE. 894 00:41:10,168 --> 00:41:12,538 (chuckles) 895 00:41:12,571 --> 00:41:15,507 I THINK I'M STILL A LONG WAYS AWAY FROM THAT. 896 00:41:15,541 --> 00:41:17,342 OH... 897 00:41:17,375 --> 00:41:19,477 DON'T YOU WORRY. 898 00:41:19,511 --> 00:41:21,179 YOU'LL GET THERE. 899 00:41:21,212 --> 00:41:24,182 *** 900 00:41:24,215 --> 00:41:27,185 Captioned by Closed Captioning Services, Inc. 901 00:41:37,896 --> 00:41:38,564 NEXT ON "BOSTON LEGAL"... 902 00:41:38,597 --> 00:41:40,532 WE BABY-SIT EACH OTHER'S KIDS. 903 00:41:40,566 --> 00:41:41,900 WE GO TO COSTBUY TOGETHER. SPLIT EVERYTHING. 904 00:41:41,933 --> 00:41:44,502 TOILET PAPER, PAPER TOWELS, AND WE BOTH SHARE RENT. 905 00:41:44,536 --> 00:41:46,538 THE LAW ON POLYGAMY HAS BEEN SETTLED FOR A LONG TIME. 906 00:41:46,572 --> 00:41:48,173 HOW CAN WE HELP YOU? A WRONGFUL DEATH SUIT. 907 00:41:48,206 --> 00:41:49,675 FILED BY THE MOTHER 908 00:41:49,708 --> 00:41:51,643 OF A KID WHO DIED WHILE PLAYING THEIR LATEST GAME. 909 00:41:51,677 --> 00:41:54,145 WE'VE GOT A WOMAN WITH A DEAD KID. NOW A JURY 910 00:41:54,179 --> 00:41:56,347 IS GONNA WANNA MAKE SOMEBODY PAY FOR THIS. APPLE TRASH CAN IS PICKED FROM GOD. 911 00:41:56,381 --> 00:41:58,984 NOT THE YEARS 60 WHEN CLASSIC ELECTRONS ARE FREE. 912 00:41:59,017 --> 00:42:00,485 YOU AREN'T SAILING PAST HONOR. 913 00:42:00,518 --> 00:42:03,388 OBJECTION... UH, I THINK. (Judge) MR. SHORE. 914 00:42:03,421 --> 00:42:04,556 WORD SALAD? 915 00:42:04,590 --> 00:42:07,092 IT'S TALKING IN UNINTELLIGIBLE GIBBERISH.